Knights in Tinfoil
by Rai

Chapter 1: 1/23/2007 11:51

You've been so bored lately, nothing seems to take the edge off. You've got all this energy and nothing to do with it. You've beaten every game you own, twice, and even those you borrowed from your friends. Finally, because you just can't stand it anymore, you actually do your chores but even those don't last long under your lightning fast assault. Finally your finishing the last thing on your to do list...taking a box to the attic.
As you step into the dust covered confines of the long forgotten you sneeze and cough...what you were expecting something heroic?

Dropping the box in a random corner you turn to bolt back out...only to watch as the door back downstairs slamms shut in your face. Trying the knob you curse your sudden moment of energy. It's locked. Sitting down on a cardboard box you think about what you could do.

Something intrudes on your thoughts...it sounds like darkages fanfair...what are you going to do?

Voting begins!
Final Results: What to do

Options	Votes
Find a weapon.	0 (0%)
Get a haircut.	0 (0%)
Disguise thyself.	3 (75%)
HIDE!	1 (25%)

Chapter 2: 1/23/2007 12:01

Diving behind the nearest stack of boxes you curl up and pray to the god of Mountain Dew that you're just imagining this. I mean really...fanfair in your attic? What have you been doing?

Slowly other noises come into focus, the clomp of horse hooves on a dirt road, the chink of tack and armor, the shouts of boisting men. Your ears turn red at first but soon you're taking notes listening to them. Smells drift your way, the smells of a countryside...and of horse manure. Uhg.

This is one thing you've never had to deal with playing games about knights in armor. You're not so sure you want to deal with it now. This can't be happening, you think over and over again.

Somebody should have noticed, I mean we've got cavelry clomping through our attic. Yet nobody comes and the horses seem to have come to a halt. You feel strangely warm even though the attic is usuall drafty. Light pries at your eyes...wasn't it dark a minute ago?

Suddenly a shadow falls over you and a steel incased hand grabbs you hard by the neck, lifting you high into the air. You squeal in terror. "Look ho! It seems that I have caught meself a rascle hiding in the rocks!" You squirm to no avail, he's got you good.

Looking you see several other knights, all grinning at you like they want to skin you alive. You're whirled around to face your captor, a big burly man. "Well? What are ye doing here ya young knave?"

What will you tell him?

Voting begins!
Final Results: What do you tell him

Options	Votes
I'm a squire?	2 (67%)
I'm a Warlock from the Future?	0 (0%)
I'm a spy?	0 (0%)
No idea really.	1 (33%)

Chapter 3: 1/23/2007 12:13

"Please don't hurt me! I'm just humble squire!" The man squints at you with a look that could curdle stone...and you're not even sure that's possible.

"Squire eh? Who's squire?" You shake your head hearing swords clear their sheaths behind you. You're feeling proud of yourself that you havn't wet your pants.

"I'm new! Not even assigned yet!" A sword touched your back in the spot between your shoulder blades that's been itching like mad.

"New eh?" The man scratches his stubbly chin with his free hand, jerking his head at whoever's got the steel planted firmly in your back. Slowly the pressure eases. "Humm, my squire took off a few days back. You a quick learner?"

"Do dog's pee on brick walls?" He frowns and you realize that wasn't a good answer. "Uh...I mean...Yes sire!" The man drops you on the ground, stepping around you and heading back to where the other knights are still glareing.

"Well then squire," he tosses you a small brown leather pouch filled with coins. "Go fetch yourself some red livery and return back here before the bell tolls the hour. Be sharp about it! I don't like dalliers!"

You dart off, bag of money jingling on your hip. But, you wonder, should I really be doing this? I don't even know which way to go. Coming to a crossrodes, litterally, you stare down each of the paths. North, ahead of you. South, the way you came. East, to your left. West, to the right. Which way to go?

Voting begins!
Final Results: Which direction?

Options	Votes
North.	4 (100%)
South.	0 (0%)

Voting begins!
Final Results: Which direction?

Options	Votes
North.	0 (0%)
South.	0 (0%)
East.	0 (0%)

Chapter 4: 1/23/2007 12:23

You start off to the north, it's as good a way to go as any since you can't see what's down the roads anyhow. Soon enough you realize you've chosen the right direction, the walls and ramparts of a massive castle raise high above you.

Slowly you stop and gawk as only a city kid can...you've never seen anything like this, a real-life castle in it's hayday. Two bored looking guards are standing next to the gate, shooing bored looking people in and out.

You start past, plastering a bored expression on your face. You think you're going to get through when suddenly a mailed arm juts out infront of you, cutting you off. "State your buisness in Losia or be off." Damn, this just wasn't your day.

Luckily you've got real buisness in town. "I'm here to buy livery, my lords orders." The guard looks at you lazily.

"And just who is your Lord, squire." Damn again...really not your day. You look at the bag of gold, hoping it will help you. It's got a crest on it which you hold up to the man.

How should the guard react?

Voting begins!
Final Results: Guard's reaction.

Options	Votes
Bored.	0 (0%)

Voting begins!
Final Results: Guard's reaction

Options	Votes
Bored.	0 (0%)
Angery.	0 (0%)
Suspicious.	3 (75%)
Thinks it's funny.	1 (25%)

Chapter 5: 1/23/2007 12:35

The guard grips your arm, the second grip of iron you've felt today although it's not as strong as the knight's was. "Ha! That's Prince Arnam's personal seal, I doubt he'd have a green wretch like you for a squire!" Turning he yelled up at some other guards on the inside.

"Bothmus! Narder! We've caught a royal thief we have!" Two more guards come down out of what seems like nowhere. They whisper with your captor a bit before each taking an arm and dragging you off, the gate guard follwing behind with the bag of gold.

You're badly treated as they haul you up some stairs and into the inner bailey...or whatever it's called you're none to good with the terms. This is getting less and less like a game by the second. Why me, you moan in your head.

Finally they drag you into an office and, once they let go, you collapse in a heap your legs too battered to hold you up. A man with a Mario style moustach is glaring at you from behind a massive oak desk. He too talks to the gate guard and looks at the money bag before turning back to you.

"Well. Can you explain what you're doing with the prince's money bag?" You can but you've got the sinking feeling they're not going to believe you.

You quickly tell them everything that has happened, spinning a tale about a long night of drinking with friends to explain what you were doing hiding behind a bunch of rocks.

Finishing with your orders that Arnam gave you. "I've got to be back within the hour in red livery...really I do!" The guards are looking at each other and you catch one drawing his finger across his neck. This isn't looking good.

What can you do?

Voting begins!
Final Results: What do you do?

Options	Votes
Have a Guard come with you.	3 (75%)
Beg and plead to see the Prince.	1 (25%)
Say you're a jester sent to buy wine.	0 (0%)

Chapter 6: 1/23/2007 12:50

"Look if you don't believe me then I'll take you back with me. Just let me get the livery first...I know he'll kill me if I don't come back in it." Slowly the guards look at each other.

"Humm...well I suppose we could. Alright then but no funny stuff. You try anything and you'll wish you hadn't." You already wished you hadn't but then all you're guilty of is doing what you were told.

I try to be nice and see what happens, you think as you're marched along. The clothier is none too happy to see a squalid little mess like you in his shop, he's even less happy that a guard is with you.

Still flashing the prince's gold does get you the needed livery, with all haste possible, and you're on your way back to the knight's camp only a little later than you should have been.

Reaching the spot on the south rode where you left the camped knights your eyes bug out of your head. There's no one there, only the smoldering ashes of a fire doused not long before.

"Oh I knew I shouldn't have been late. Now they've gone and left and the Prince will have my head for not being there." The Guard, perfectly happy to take you into custody, ties a rope around your hands, looping it over the pommel of his saddle.

"Back to the Captain for ye ye little theif. We'll show ye what happens when ye steal from the prince." With that he beings to trot off, dragging you along behind.

You havn't gone more than a few steps when an arrow whizzes out of the brush, thudding into the guards back. Within moments bandits have swarmed over both him and yourself. They look from the Guard's corpse to you.

What will the bandit's do?

Voting begins!
Final Results: The bandits will..

Options	Votes
Tie you up and steal the gold?	2 (67%)
Take you hostage for questioning?	1 (33%)
Kill you?	0 (0%)

Chapter 7: 1/23/2007 13:04

Slowly they loop coils of heavy rope around your limbs. "That sack o'gold looks heavy. Lemme ease your burden." before you can say anything a none too clean gag is stuffed in your mouth and the bandits rush off with the still mostly full purse.

They do leave you with the corpse of the Guard though, and his still grazing mount. It seems they were only after money, not whaver they could sell otherwise you'd probably be stark naked as well as tied up like a Christmas turkey.

You don't dare wiggle around on the dirt, the livery is still fresh looking and if the prince comes back you don't want to look like you've been playing in mud. Then he'd be in an even worse mood, although you're pretty sure he's going to kill you for being robbed anyway.

The horse comes over and nibbles at your hair and you try to brush it away by jerking your head. Stupid horse, you think. That's my hair not grass. But it moves down until it's lipping at the knot that holds the rope tight.

Suddenly the ropes go slack and you managed to wiggle free. Looking back you're amazed to find the horse munching contentedly on one end of the rope. It gazes at you with it's watery brown eyes and snorts a bit.

What are you going to do now?