A Day to Remember
by Ermine

Chapter 1: 2/5/2006 10:16

It was an ordinary day in the theme park. Simon and Jessica had been there as the gates had opened. Then the rides had been empty and easy to get onto. Now all of the best ones had queues half a mile long They had eaten all the hotdogs and popcorn that could comfortably (or even uncomfortably) fit in their bellies. Neither of them fancied standing next to the screaming toddlers and the complaining grannies, just to get one more go on "Screaming Death!!!"


Only the third-rate entertainments seemed to have a chance of them getting in within half an hour.

"Where should we go next?" asked Jessica, linking arms with Simon.

He looked around doubtfully. There was the teacup ride, he supposed. Nice enough if you fancied a quick snooze...

Or the Gnomes of Toyland Puppet Show. Perhaps good for a laugh - if you were drunk enough to laugh at that sort of thing...

Or maybe the ghost train? Kitch, but it would kill a bit of time.

It was either that or spend an hour in some boring queue or other.

He made his decision...

Voting begins!
Final Results: Where should those crazy kids go next?

Options	Votes
Ghost train?	4 (31%)
Gnomes of Toyland show?	4 (31%)
Teacup ride?	0 (0%)
Go get drunk before you try anything else?	3 (23%)
Kick a mascot in the shins	2 (15%)

Chapter 2: 2/5/2006 10:39

"Let's go with the gnomes," said Simon, resignedly.

Jessica looked at him in disgust. "Gnomes?"

He had the feeling he'd gone down in her estimation. Never mind, he could get her boozed up later, then he'd seem attractive again. The two of them joined the miniature queue for the Gnomes of Toyland show. They were surrounded by bright and enthusiastic six-year-olds, holding the hands of their mummies and daddies. To be honest, Simon felt like a bit of a prat. Still, too late to back out now. They were at the front of the queue.
The two of them got into the car and began to trundle into a lit cavern. Inside, there were candy-striped gnomes, gnomes with pick-axes in hand, gnomes shaking hands with teddy bears, gnomes peeking out of horribly twee cottages, gnomes singing creaky songs in mechanical voices and gnomes doing dances with simple to-and-fro hand gestures.

Simon was really beginning to regret his trip into toddler territory by now. The area by his feet appeared to have half-eaten (or half-thrown-up) junk food in it and the music was really getting on his nerves.

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, he heard a voice from the area of the Gnome choir

'Hey! Mister! If you get me out of here, I can grant you any wish! How 'bout it?'

Simon stared. On the second row back of the singing Gnomes, there was one that looked a little less... well... plastic than the rest. It looked like a real gnome, ridiculous as that sounded.

He looked over at Jessica, but she appeared not to have noticed anything amiss.

What was he going to do?

Voting begins!
Final Results: What does Simon do about his little Gnome problem?

Options	Votes
Ignore it and hope it doesn't get worse	1 (14%)
Agree to help the gnome out	2 (29%)
Point him out to Jessica	2 (29%)
Ask what you need to do to help	2 (29%)

Chapter 3: 2/5/2006 10:59

Simon's mouth hung open. He looked deliberately away, observing the next car along where an eight year old was exploring the contents of his nostril. Then he looked cautiously back at the choir.

The gnome gave him a hopeful little wave.

Uh-oh. It was real! Or was it?

He tugged at Jessica's sleeve. She sighed and looked impatient.

'What?'

'Uhh...' He pointed. 'Do you see that... that gnome?'

'There's dozens of them,' sighed Jessica. 'I see them all.'

'No - I mean - the one that looks different!'

'The one with the top hat you mean?' she asked, stifling a yawn.

'No! THAT one! Second row back, fourth in from the left. The one that's waving!' Simon gestured, excitedly.

'I see it,' she said. 'So what? It's a gnome. A stupid litle ugly gnome. The place is full of them. Let's go on the Mega-Outlander next, okay? It's got to be better than this slop!'

Simon looked from the gnome back to Jessica.

'Don't you want your wish?' asked the gnome, grinning a hopeful and desperately ugly little grin.

Simon hesitated, wondering if he did...

Voting begins!
Final Results: How does Simon respond?

Options	Votes
Save the gnome and push the girlfriend out the car	2 (29%)
Rescue the gnome and keep the girlfriend	2 (29%)
Leave the gnome	1 (14%)
Do something horrible (and possible illegal) to the gnome?	2 (29%)

Chapter 4: 2/5/2006 11:17

Simon felt panic creeping up on him. The car was almost past the choir now, and Jessica was looking at him as if he was, frankly, more suited to the nuthatch than the sane surroundings of a Theme Park.

He reached a decision and grabbed the gnome. The car wobbled crazily in its watery tracks as he almost overbalanced.

'Hey!' cried Jessica. 'What are you doing?'

'Don't worry,' said Simon, trying to look reassuring. 'I'm just rescuing this gnome, then he'll grant me a wish. Anything I want, he said.'

Jessica's face was a picture. A distinctly surrealist picture.

'You idiot! You'll get us into trouble! Put it back!'

She made a grab for the gnome. The car rocked more violently in the canal.

'No, you don't understand.' Simon wrestled with her and the fiercely complaining gnome.

Rock... rock... rock...

For a moment, Simon thought he'd lost his hold on the little fella. He reached out and flailed to grab it again, pushing off with his other arm as a counterbalance.

There was a shriek from his other side. And a splash.

He looked around in horror. In one hand he clutched the gnome. The other was still outstretched into an empty place beside him. Jessica was in the water, and saying words that no real lady should know.

Again, he felt close to panic. What should he do?

Voting begins!
Final Results: How will Simon solve his dilemma?

Options	Votes
Rescue the gnome with the intention of wishing for normality later	1 (11%)
Pull Jessica out of the water after setting the gnome down	1 (11%)
Throw the gnome into the water	2 (22%)
Watch as Poor Jessica gets run over by the car behind	5 (56%)

Chapter 5: 2/5/2006 11:35

You stare horrified for a moment. Jessica glugs dirty words at you. You HAVE to save her!

Dumping the gnome roughly on the seat beside you, you start to lean over the back of your car.

'Ere! Stop!' The gnome tugs the back of your shirt. 'She'll try to get rid of me! Don't let 'er! I've been waiting too long for this?'


You turn back, ready to argue the point with your new chum, but just then, Jessica's abusive tone changes. Now her gurgling has a panicked edge to it.

You turn, just in time to see her attempting to flounder out of the way of the next car back

For a moment, you think she's going to make it. Then the car catches a submerged limb and with a final look of horror and, yes, blame aimed directly at YOU, she goes under.

'Ahh...' sighed the gnome. 'I thought she'd never shut up.

'You...' burbled Simon. 'You...'

'No, sorry, I can't grant the wish until I get out of 'ere,' answered the gnome, settling back comfortably in his seat. 'Not far now. We should be seeing the end of the tunnel any minute... now!'

Indeed, the end of the tunnel came into view. Simon watched the light, wondering how on earth he was going to sort this mess out.

He was still wondering when the car hit the exit.

'You better 'ide me,' said the gnome. 'Don't want everyone thinkin' you've stole me'.

Simon wondered why he had ever listened to the gnome in the first place. Still, it was too late to back out now, wasn't it? Should he go through with his wish and hide the gnome? Or cut his losses while they were... well, pretty huge actually...?

Voting begins!
Final Results: How will Simon hide the gnome?

Options	Votes
He won't - he'll throw him back in the water where he belongs	2 (33%)
Carry him like a baby	4 (67%)
Hide him under the coat while keeping a firm grip on him	0 (0%)

Chapter 6: 2/5/2006 12:03

Simon was beginning to really dislike this gnome! Nevertheless, he could see no other option than to go through with it and hope everything turned out in the end.

He picked the gnome up again and wrapped it in his coat.

'You're a baby, right?' he ordered.

'Well, if I'm a baby, you're a bloomin'... oh, right, I see what y'mean.' The gnome relaxed into a surprisingly heavy weight in Simon's arms.

Feeling like a criminal ten-times-over, Simon clambered clumsily out of the car and made his way to the exit area.



At every moment, he expected to be stopped by someone asking him whether he'd taken a gnome... or whether he had mislaid a girlfriend.

Nothing happened. Simon swung the exit gate open and stepped outside. Then he put the gnome down on the floor. It looked up at him cheerily.

'Right,' it said. 'Thanks for that. Thanks a lot. Very grateful. Well, see yer.'

'Wait just a blasted minute!' Simon was seething. 'What about my wish?'

'Oh. Yeah. The wish. Well, what do you want?' asked the gnome.

Voting begins!
Final Results: What will Simon wish for?

Options	Votes
Wish that he and Jessica had taken the ghost train instead	1 (25%)
Wish for wealth	0 (0%)
Wish for special superpowers to rescue his girlfriend	3 (75%)

Chapter 7: 2/5/2006 12:20

Simon glared at the gnome.

'I wish...' he said. Then he paused. What DID he wish? Mostly that this had never happened. That was a pretty poor repayment for all the trouble he'd been to though.

No. This gnome was going to pay for his rescue. Simon made up his mind.

'I wish for the power to go back and save Jessica and make her think I'm something really special,' he said, rushing the sentence out in one breath. 'Only I want to do it in real dramatic style, like Superman or Luke Skywalker or something.' 'Super-powers, eh?' said the gnome, thoughtfully. 'Nope. Don't think I can do it.'

Simon growled. 'You'll do it or you'll be finding out what a toffee apple feels like from the wrong end!'

'No need to be nasty,' huffed the gnome. 'You could 'ave just asked. All right then. There. Now, I'm off.'

With that, he took off as fast as his wriggly little legs could carry him. Simon watched him go and felt no regret.

Just as he was beginning to wonder whether he'd been swindled out of a wish or not, his shirt began to creak under the strain of bulging muscles. He felt strong and fast and powerful. He felt like he could do ANYTHING!

He sprinted at a phenomenal speed back to the queue. Nobody seemed to notice him as he rose above them and flew over their heads to the waterway of the gnome show.

Even in the sudden dimness, he could see as if it were daylight. Bright, clear vision, with a glowing aura around the people in cars. Heat-sensitive vision too. Cool!

He rocketed through the air until he saw an aura, dim and submerged, in the place where Jessica had gone down.

There was no hesitation as he angled down into the water. The kiddies shrieked as a rain of water from an unkown source splattered over them.

Simon didn't care. Jessica was still submerged in the depths of the canal, but he knew he could save her. He picked her body up from where it limply lay and rose from the water like a leaping dolphin.


Her skin was pale and she had a blueness to her lips. It didn't matter. He felt energy course from his fingertips into her lifeless body. She shuddered and opened her eyes...

... and vomited canal-water all over his shirt. 'Ooh... what happened? Arghh! Why are we flying?' She clutched him in a distinctly feminine way. Simon flew towards the exit, feeling oh-so-manly.

He was just through the tunnel exit when the power left him as abruptly as it had arrived. He barely had time to say 'Oh blast!' before he dropped like a stone into the water again.

He and Jessica sat in the exit-shallows, drinking and spitting canal water.

She looked at him in disdain.

'Remind me never to go to the fun-fair with YOU again!'

Simon sighed. How had he known it would end like this?

THE END