City of IF

[ethereal_fauna]

The successful presentation of stories online differs from traditional texts. Regardless of how interesting or well written a story is, if the audience struggles to read it then the effect is lost. Hopefully this thread will offer a few good tips for new storygame authors.

Authors are encouraged to place any suggestions, thoughts or questions regarding presentation on this thread. Let's assist each other in our writing endeavors, creating better storygames for everyone to play!

Jump to:
Paragraph Spacing and Length
Adding Images
Dialogue
Character and Place Names
Perspective
Punctuation
Research and Search Engines
Tense
Spelling here or here
Adding Sounds
Font Size

[ethereal_fauna]

Paragraph Length

A screen filled with words intimidates a lot of readers. When posting stories online, shorter paragraphs with distinct breaks between paragraphs, offer brief rest periods for the eyes. This encourages continued reading and facilitates thought organization of the concepts the writer presents.

Example:

Longer paragraph (no breaks, several of these on a screen will present the reader with a daunting wall of words): The openness, the brightness, a host of insults straining my senses to perceive, I had acclimated to the new demands and reconciled myself with foreign sights. The earth was bizarre above the heart of civilization, a wild and unkempt landscape assaulted by weather and temperature extremes which initially caused me discomfort, although little affecting the core state of my being. Ultimately, however, the environment proved less intriguing than the ecology. Organic life flourished in this inhospitable clime, and I had reached a nervous hand from the protection of the soil to touch some scrubby flowering grass, which clung to the loam with the same love that I did. I had found a commonality on the surface. Peculiar creatures lived and grew, reproducing and dying at a remarkably rapid rate, as least compared to what I knew. An odd assortment of living things roamed around, free from the soil and vulnerable in the open, oddly compelling in their mobility. Pre-destiny would determine that I become like them.

Same text broken into smaller, online-friendly paragraphs: The openness, the brightness, a host of insults straining my senses to perceive, I had acclimated to the new demands and reconciled myself with foreign sights. The earth was bizarre above the heart of civilization, a wild and unkempt landscape assaulted by weather and temperature extremes which initially caused me discomfort, although little affecting the core state of my being. Ultimately, however, the environment proved less intriguing than the ecology.

Organic life flourished in this inhospitable clime, and I had reached a nervous hand from the protection of the soil to touch some scrubby flowering grass, which clung to the loam with the same love that I did. I had found a commonality on the surface. Peculiar creatures lived and grew, reproducing and dying at a remarkably rapid rate, as least compared to what I knew. An odd assortment of living things roamed around, free from the soil and vulnerable in the open, oddly compelling in their mobility. Pre-destiny would determine that I become like them.

Distinct paragraph breaks of one or two lines also offer logical markers in longer chapters, which require scrolling on the screen.

[Key]

Images

Adding images to your stories is another way to break up large chunks of text. Images will also help attract readers who are scanning through trying to decide if they should read your story.

If the image you want to include is on the web already, you can just link to it using the [img] tag (roll your mouse over the img button when posting to see the syntax). If the image you want to use is not on the web but is on your computer, you can email it to me (key@cityofif.com) and tell me where in your story you'd like it to go. I will put it up for you.

Here's Fauna's example with an image added:

The openness, the brightness, a host of insults straining my senses to perceive, I had acclimated to the new demands and reconciled myself with foreign sights. The earth was bizarre above the heart of civilization, a wild and unkempt landscape assaulted by weather and temperature extremes which initially caused me discomfort, although little affecting the core state of my being. Ultimately, however, the environment proved less intriguing than the ecology.

Organic life flourished in this inhospitable clime, and I had reached a nervous hand from the protection of the soil to touch some scrubby flowering grass, which clung to the loam with the same love that I did. I had found a commonality on the surface. Peculiar creatures lived and grew, reproducing and dying at a remarkably rapid rate, as least compared to what I knew. An odd assortment of living things roamed around, free from the soil and vulnerable in the open, oddly compelling in their mobility. Pre-destiny would determine that I become like them.

[Ravenwing]

There should not only be breaks between paragraphs, but I know that in the early days when I was here, I was always commenting on dialogue. I know it can be a hell of trouble, but it is very convenient to have spaces between lines of dialogue. It's nice and easy on the eyes for the readers, and it keeps us from getting confused on who is speaking, especially when you have more than 2 people talking to each other. 8)

[jnmrcs]

I think that the good names help too. But remember if you can create the story like real is better.

Not only the names but cities, years, events, etc..
(It's just my opinion.)

And thanks for this forum, I hope this will help me. :D

[Ravenwing]

jnmrcs wrote: I think that the good names help too. But remember if you can create the story like real is better.

Not only the names but cities, years, events, etc..
(It's just my opinion.)

And thanks for this forum, I hope this will help me. :D

You give a good point, and not be too critical. Names of characters or anything is hard to decide on early on, I have found. Once you have the plot down, you can go about editing and cutting stuff out.

Of course if you were doing a story that takes place in a specific era and with historical figures (D-Lotus' 'Bushido' is a good example) then that is where names are important.

For me names of just anything in the story is hard because I want the name to match the place or it just ruins your idea of what the place should be like.

[jnmrcs]

I know maybe this is exagerated but here I go....
In the Internet you can find everything, jus go to a web search and voala...

http://www.babynames.com/
http://www.behindthename.com/
http://www.babynamesworld.com/
http://www.20000-names.com/
http://www.gaminggeeks.org/Resources/KateMonk/England-Firstnames/

This is just someones that appears in www.google.com, so if you need help there is the Internet and us... 8)

[ethereal_fauna]

Perspective

One of the simplest ways to involve readers in your storygame regards perspective. As you write, concentrate on guiding the audience through a reliving of the event, rather than simply telling what happened. The telling technique works well for some aspects of the story, such as a list or a brief history. Too much telling, however, turns the writing into a step-by-step manual that quickly becomes dry and boring. Reliving the story takes the readers along on the journey, setting them inside the scene and involving them in the actions of the characters.

Example 1 Descriptions:

Telling names characteristics, almost a bulleted list of features- She is small but strong. Her skin is pale and soft. It is often cold. She has long, black hair. She looks almost human except for her wings. She hides her wings with clothes. She is empathic and can make others feel what she feels.

Reliving guides the audience through reactions to a characterís appearance, creating a vivid image in the mind- She is most petite, short and slight although unbelievably strong. Her pale smooth skin is soft to touch, although often as cold as a granite statue. Conforming to the surface creatures she has observed, her head is covered in a long, raven mound of curls. She appears human in almost every respect, with the exception of small leathery wings, which she lays flat against her back and easily conceals with a loose cloak. She does not yet understand that her strong projections of her own emotions can substantially affect the people around her.

Example 2 Events:

Telling dissociates readers from actions and thoughts- The inn seemed to be closed. The windows were dark. A little light shone from under the door. I was nervous. I opened the door, and there was a room. It was clean and busy, with people talking and drinking.

Reliving provides a personal walk-through of the scene- The inn seemed to be closed. With thick curtains at the window, no light escaped to let me know if anyone was there. The door however allowed a small sliver of light to escape from beneath it. Swallowing doubt I pushed on the door. It opened easily revealing a pleasantly lit tavern room. It was clean - for a pub, and was actually quite busy, with several groups of people chatting idly, nursing a variety of drinks.

Telling simply lists the events, stripping the moment of emotion and sensation. In the examples above, the sentences tell what happened or what will happen, but speak little of how the main character or other characters feel, or what they think.

Reliving forces the reader inside the mind of the character. The audience understands how the character feels about what has happened, the detailed reactions the character has, and the nature of the thoughts inside the characterís head.

Avoid simply listing what happens or what is seen. Embellish on textures, sensations, smells, and tastes, and the reactions of the characters as they perceive their world.

[Merilly Dayzed]

When I was taking a required Spanish class in high school (hardly remember any Spanish now, not that I learned much then), I remember that feminine names end in "a" and masculine names end in "o". So whenever I read a name, if it ends in "a", I automatically assume it's a female character. Just a little psychological tip for naming characters. :D

As for the reliving vs telling, I agree. It's a delicate balance, to be descriptive, but not overwhelming the story with detail. In your examples, you add emotional detail to the physical descriptions, which keeps it short and sweet. It leaves enough to the imagination, while telling a lot about the character's state of mind, and mental approach to certain situations.

I agree about the short paragraphs, too. For some reason, if I see a paragraph longer than ten lines, I start to feel trapped, even if I'm writing it...

[ethereal_fauna]

On Punctuation:

This is a little light-hearted humor, but makes a specific point about writing nonetheless. :)

An English professor wrote the words :

A WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS NOTHING

on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.


All of the males in the class wrote:

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote:

"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

PUNCTUATION IS POWERFUL!

[jnmrcs]

Nice example :lol:

I understand... but which was the right??? 8)
Well that's out of question (we know which one is the right) and it's out of theme here too :)

[Smee]

To stick to the moral - they are both right - :D

Punctuation can change the meaning of a sentence in a big way, which is why it confuses us so much when we read stories that have mistakes.

It isn't so much about being fussy - in an environment like a forum there are often misunderstandings when the posts aren't clear in what they mean. Correct grammar is one weapon you have to make sure what you are saying is understood by others - surely the most important point in posting.

[ethereal_fauna]

Look It Up

Many times an author may find a challenge in his writing- he needs more information to properly explain or complete a scene. This applies to all writing, but with online presentation the author may have an advantage. Numerous things are simple to research online.

Have the players suggested and chosen an option for your storygame that you have little knowledge about? Donít despair. There are several great search engines to assist you. Google, Yahoo, and Jeeves are a sampling of the tools available.

In order to obtain relevant results, you will need a clear idea of what you wish to search for. If your query is too vague, the engine will return many results that do not pertain to the information you seek. Conversely, if your search terms are too specific, you may have too few or no results.

A helpful tactic is to include the type of information you seek. For instance, if you need information on battle weaponry, your search might bring back everything from modern examples to medieval weapons. Consider the genre of your story before your search. If you have a fantasy game, try fantasy battle weaponry as your search. This narrows your search specifically to the type of battle weaponry you want, being fantasy.

The major search engines allow you to tailor your query even more. You can search only for pages:
? that contain ALL the search terms you type in
? that contain the exact phrase you type in
? that contain at least one of the words you type in
? that do NOT contain any of the words you type in
? written in a certain language
? created in a certain file format
? that have been updated within a certain period of time
? that contain numbers within a certain range
? within a certain domain, or website
? that don't contain "adult" material

If you need to refine your search, use your chosen toolís advanced search option.

A few other helpful research tools are listed below:
Greek Mythology

Search the Christian Bible

Guns Database *warning- This site offers a free listing of gun types, and also offers paid membership for adult material.

Esotericism

Sciences

Chocolate

Engineering and Technology

[Lebrenth]

Signatures

Every successful author in IF knows that you need to advertise to get properly noticed. There's a lot of thorough readers on IF, but even so, if you want more readers, you want to have a plug attached to every message you write.

You can see mine below, like you can for many authors.


To do the same, you'll first need to know what the internet address is for your story. So click on your story (first page will do fine). When it is loaded, your address bar will show you the location. It will look something like 'http://www.cityofif.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1827". You need to copy that address letter by letter. No mistakes! (Copy and Paste is useful, but not necessary).

Then you click on "Profile" near the top of the screen and scroll down to "Signature". That's where you're going to put the code. You can just put the address and have a link, or you can get fancy and type "[url=THE ADDRESS OF YOUR STORY]THE NAME OF YOUR STORY[/url]" And it will look like this: THE NAME OF YOUR STORY

Except yours will work!

For more on linking, click here.

[Lebrenth]

TENSE

Here's one for the veterans too.

Paula walked onto the stage in mind-numbing terror. The microphone was cold in her sweaty hands. She cleared her throat and suddenly the audience disappeared. Now it was just her and the song in her heart. And she sang like she's never sung before.

OR

Paula walks onto the stage in mind-numbing terror. The microphone is cold in her sweaty hands. She clears her throat and the audience disappears. Now it is just her and the song in her heart. And she sings like she's never sung before.


You can choose which you prefer, but you should be aware that there is a difference. The second version (in present tense) is more immediate. You feel like you are taking a journey as it is unfolding.

In past tense, everything has been told, as if by someone by the fireplace telling his old war stories. You can still get involved with the story, but you know, when all is said and done, that the storyteller lived through it. But even when the narrator is removed from the story, it losses some of its life. It's not being done, it has been done.

The "storyteller" effect can be reminiscent and call back to a time where great things happened. It can make the story strong by giving it the very sense of completion that I was complaining about. "This happened!" could be something you're looking for in your story.

The "play by play" can have a more exciting effect. Using that analogy, there is certainly something more exciting about listening to a football game in progress on the radio than hearing about it, even in great detail with excellent storytelling, after it is done.

So I recommend experimenting with both.

[Smee]

Spelling




The easiest, and quickest way I've found of checking those words you just can't remember how to spell is to simply have an open google window as you write.

Any word you're struggling with, spell it as accurately as you can, copy and paste it into google.

If it comes up in the larger circle, then you'll often find the correct spelling.

However, if it is underlined in the smaller circle then it's spelt correctly. :)

A quick check of any word you're not sure about as you're typing - and you can carry on.





Happy Writing :)

[Ravenwing]

Microsoft Word will catch most words also through Spell Check. Or like our Walking Dictionary Smee has suggested, check it online. I personally like using the usual book dictionary still.

Oh, and also read over your stories before posting...A very useful suggestion I might add.

[Chinaren]

Quote: Oh, and also read over your stories before posting...A very useful suggestion I might add.

At least twice!! (I usually read twice in word and once when I post, and I still miss stuff.)

[OmegaTerra]

Spelling...check entire post at once

This is what I use for my post (when I say something that is) it works from the right click menu without opening any more windows.

ieSpell is a free Internet Explorer browser extension that spell checks text input boxes on a webpage. It should come in particularly handy for users who do a lot of web-based text entry (e.g. web mails, forums, blogs, diaries). Even if your web application already includes spell checking functionality, you might still want to install this utility because it is definitely much faster than a server-side solution. Plus you get to store and use your personal word list across all your applications, instead of maintaining separate ones on each application.

The program installs as a new button in the IE toolbar (as well as a new menu item under "Tools") - after filling in a form, just hit the ieSpell button and it pops up a dialog, similar to the MS Word spell check. ieSpell also works (right-click menu only) on other IE based browsers such as SlimBrowser, CrazyBrowser, MSN, MyIE, etc.

ieSpell is not spyware or adware. It's free for personal use only.

[OmegaTerra]

Adding Sounds to SGs

Just like images add to the experience of a story, sound effects can too.

To add sounds to your stories, like those in The Orc and The Not So Fat Fat Fairy you must follow a few simple steps.

First, you need to have a sound file (well, thatís obvious) usually a WAV or MPG file.

That sound file will need to be online, with a linkable url. You should not pirate sounds from other sites- in other words, donít link to a sound that isnít on your own website or on a website that specifically gives permission for you to link to their files. Your sound will need to be hosted online and available for remote linking. Most of the time, this will be a service that you have to pay for.

Copy and paste the location of the sound file into your story where you want the sound to be heard. The code used will look something like this:

Code: [url=http://www.yourwebsite.com/sounds/funnylaugh.WAV]Funny laugh[/url]

[JezSharp]

Font Size and Color

I find that upping the text size to 14 and having the sg titles bold, underlined, size 18 and in varying (readable) colors are small things that can make an sg far more easy on the eye...particularaly upping the text size to 14.