City of IF

[D-Lotus]

ok, new chapter up soon people...wow, three of my posts in a row....

[D-Lotus]

OK, here's what's up:

Chapter 4


I discreetly nodded to Holmes that I wished to talk to him in private. He smiled at Lessmarte and we stepped away a few paces.

"Holmes, I truly do not feel comfortable with that man, let us go alone for now."

Holmes stiffled a laugh.

"Well, Watson, if you wish it so, then it can't be helped. After all, it was I who asked you."

More comfortably now, we resumed our brief talk with the inspector, in which Holmes informed him he would stop by his office to see what he found after he investigated the scene of crime.

With the two ladies to accompany us, we made our way in a cabbie torwards the town. To our discomfort, the cab was not big enough to accomodate all of us.

I helpfully...volunteered to run along side the horses.

It was an exhausting little trip for me, which I would prefer not to narrate, since it has nothing to do with the story at hand.

As we arrived in the manor house in the outskirts, which the late father of the two splendid ladies had inhabited, we were filled with a strange sense of foreboding. Well, I was too tired to feel anything, but my companion assured me that he had.

It was a spledid georgian house, full of those strange statues ond other things that make splendid georgian houses splendid georgian houses.

I must not get carried away with all these fine and very intricate aspects and descriptions of the house, however, for although they have constantly amazed me all my life, and their architecture is a source of my inspiration, it has little to do with the case, unlike all other little details which I add to the story to make it more interesting.

My companion greeted me at the door ten minutes after he had arrived, for I had not, as is perfectly understandable in the consequences, been able to compete with the horses.

I was invited inside, where we had a cup of tea at five o' clock sharp, and where we made time until I could finally catch my breath.

Soon, however, my companion began to grow impatient and constantly lapsed into periods of silence. I was already used to his unresponsiveness, for I had seen him many times this way, machinating facts and data into hypothesis, but the lady's hadn't, so I explained to them what was going on in my friends head.

"My lady's, my friend Holmes has a very unusual way of thinking, and sometimes, especially on a challenging case, he'll resort to long periods of silence to think. Isn't this right, Holmes?" I said, shaking him by the shoulder.

Suddenly, he snapped back.

"No, I was not thinking of me and Bob doing anything wrong!"

I stared at him.

"Why Holmes, I was saying nothing of the kind, why I would never dream of you dreaming of Bob."

Holmes relaxed visibly.

"Well, Whichston, it seems this once my deduction powers have failed to deduct what you were deducting I was thinking of...but, all the rest of the times I am right."

"Of course, Holmes, of course." I said.

My friend had a way of reminding me how superior he was to me in certain aspects in even the strangest of situations. These reminders always help me to check myself when I didn't adulate him enough, as was the occasion now.

"Well, Whichston, as soon as I get the ladies permission, I'd like to go outside and examine the scene of evidence."

He looked at the ladies charmingly.

"Why, of course Mr. Holmes, I would have it no other way." said the young daughter.

We were soon outside, in a pleasant little garden that circled around the house. There was a little table with three chairs, and flowers outlined a tiny fountain spouting water. The sun shone down on our heads as Holmes came to where the body had been left.

"I expect everything has been left as it was when it was found?" said Holmes.

The lady answered him as she handed him a spotted handkerchief.

"Yes, nobody touched anything, as we were warned that it was part of your methods to examine everything exactly as it was."

"Excellent, excellent." said my friend.

"I'm afraid that the body has become a little smelly out here in the sun." said the girl as she put a handkerchief over her nose.

Indeed it had. The smell was overpowering, and even as Holmes aproached it, he reeled back. Finally, gathering his handkechief and his courage, he kicked at the body until he gradually turned it around. The rotten face of what had once been a living man smiled upwards at us. Flies crawled over his arms legs, and mouth.

"Eeeeeewwww!" yelled Holmes.

The two ladies, watching from a few feet off shuddered in disgust.

"Ah well," said Holmes "Good thing I thought of bringing these. It often happens."

He pulled out a pair of cheap gloves from his coat jacket and started examining the body meticulously. I watched in constant fascination as Holmes poked around the deceased man. Before I continue, I must tell you about my habit of always bringing one of my finest chairs along with me in my adventures with Holmes. The chair itself has no use except that I make it another regular habit to use it to jump up from it in astonishment when Holmes makes one of his amazing discoveries. It comes in very handy whenever there is no chair I can use. In this case, I had dragged my chair from my apartment to Baker Street, and then from place to place as well.

Holmes interrupted the silence as he asked a very strange question.

"But you did not bother to turn the body over when you found it, Miss Juniors?"

"Well," answered the girl in a surprised manner "I supposed it was he, since he had his regular clothes on, and he had his identification in his pocket. Also, I shaved his head with a pair of scissors to see if he had that old tatoo in his scalp."

"That must have taken a long time to do, and yet you never bothered to check his face, which would only have taken two seconds?" said Holmes.

"Well, now that you mention it, I didn't. Did I do something stupid, Mr.Holmes?"

"Not at all, I would have done the same as you if I were in your place. You acted very wisely."

"Thank you Mr.Holmes, and yet, I can't help but think that maybe checking his face would have been much faster and easier." said she.

Holmes smiled winningly.

"You did all you could, only an expert like me would have reacted by checking his face, you are not to blame."

The girl nodded and stepped back from the foul odor.

"Well, it seems that although the body could be that of another man, replaced by the murderers, it is your father, Miss."

I jumped up from my seat in amazement.

"How did you do it Holmes?"

He pulled out a small compactible machine from his coat pocket. It seemed he could store the whole country in there.

"It's a DNA tester, Whichston, I got it at the lab."

I clenched my jaw.

"Goddamn it, Holmes, we don't have that kind of technology in the late 18th century! You ruined the whole story now..."

Holmes looked abashed.

"Well, sorry...I won't do it again..."

I sighed and and sat back in my seat.

"Well, go ahead, there's nothing to be done now. Just go ahead."

Holmes went back to his domineering personality, and I relaxed into my meek adoring assistant personality.

Everything was back to normal.

Holmes resumed his speech as he pulled out a magnifying glass from his coat pocket, which seemed to be bulging with equipment now.

"Well, that destroys any chance of a set up death. Which means that whoever killed the man must have real motives. I take it that these are the tracks of the man with the revolver? I can tell it's a man because of the heavy footprints...it leads through the bushes and then dissapears when then man jumped over the fence, marked here by slight dent in the wood...But hullo? What's this? Another set of tracks- ah, this seems clear."

I jumped three feet out of my handy chair.

"But Holmes, how did you find it?"

Holmes smiled.

"Tut, tut, Whichston, you should be more observant. It was because I was looking for it."

"Looking for it?" I said.


"I will soon explain. But first I will deduce what happened here. A woman called Mr. Juniors from the garden. This unusual visit brought him down to the garden, where a man and the woman talked to him. In a disagreement, he was shot, and the man ran away, as well as the woman."

This time, I jumped so high out of my seat, I touched the roof of the house. On my return voyage, I was lucky enough to land safely, although I almost missed the chair completely, so I was able to immediatley give one of my customary praises to my friend.

"Holmes, how did you do it? That was absolutely spiffin' mate. That was jolly good! Good show, mate, jolly good show!"

"Thank you, Whichston, but you will soon find yourself saying how simple it all was."said he with absolute confindence.

"B-but, that was so simple!" I said.

Holmes frowned.

"That was too soon, Whichston, everything in it's right place!"

"I am sorry, Holmes, I will perfect my part." I said, ashamed.

He grumbled before sticking at least three bouquet's inside his coat pocket. Finally, he proceeded.

"As you see, I was sure that this intelligent man, who runs a very large company, would not be surprised in his own garden at night unless coaxed to do so by someone. Therefore, I looked for another pair of tracks, which I promptly found, a lighter set of tracks, which signify a woman. I found some pebbles under Mr. Juniors window, and the broken glass with the huge rock lying in the middle in of his room, which I checked earlier, gave me a sort of clue- I heard he was a little deaf... I also checked his room, which gave signs of haste, as he had already done his rounds and was ready for bed when aroused, which must mean that the woman that summoned him must be important to him. The grass gave signs of being trampled on for a little while before the bullet was shot, which hit the man straight in the temple. The fact that there was no other bullet anywhere, or any signs that Mr. Juniors had carried a revolver meant that he had not expected the man to be with this woman. Well, that all I know."

There was silence for a while.

"Whichston, now..."

I was speechless.

"B-but, that was so simple!"

Holmes rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry I was late, but it's kinda hard to time the whole story!" said I enfuriated.

Holmes changed the subject.

"My ladies, you'll have to excuse us now, but I think I've read all I can read in this place, so me and my friend will have to go now. I bid you a good day."

The girls sat staring at us in silence as we made our way out.

I tied the chair to my back and ran after Holmes.

As we exited the place, and Holmes had been silent for some time, I asked him if we had scared the poor girls with our behavior.

"Tut, tut, Whichston, you should not say those things. Remember, you are meek and dumb, ok?"

"Sorry." I said once again. It seemed I had been doing this for a long time. Was Holmes demanding to much of me? Is training someone to recognize all the different kinds of tobacco butts in the world through burning your fingers on them until they bleed demanding too much of someone? Nah.

"I think, Whichston, that whenever I ask you about what to do, we always end up doing what I wanted to do in the first place because I predicted you would or I wouldn't have asked you, don't you agree?"

"You're right!" realizing that for the first time.

"Now, Whichston, I think that before stopping at Lessmarte's office, and then to Baker Street to decipher that strange note which I feel has a deep meaning to the case, we have a few thigs to do here, what do you think?"

My head swirled around at the possiblities as the chair tightened in my back...

[ethereal_fauna]

Another riotous chapter. It's great how you advance the plot along in a convincing way, while throwing in all these fantastically funny quips.

Hint: If you want your text to wrap around your images, designate a location for the pic. Code: [img=left]http://leftimage.jpg or [img=right]http://rightimage.jpg

[kenshin himura]

I would choose to follow saxon.... I mean lessmarte
:o
but I chose to smoke opium :D

[D-Lotus]

Thanks guys, thanks.

Bows to his audience.

ethereal, I already knew that, but I just wanted the pics there, that's all.

Kenshin, were going to Lessmarte anyway, are you sure that you don't wanna do anything in the meanwhile...oh, smoking is always an option, bythe way....

[ethereal_fauna]

D-Lotus wrote: ethereal, I already knew that, but I just wanted the pics there, that's all.....
Okay, just wanted to make sure. The writing is great, and the pics add to it. I especially like the bit about Whichston and his chair.

[D-Lotus]

But what do you think we should do? And how do I make a link without all the ugly url writing, like you have it, ethereal?

[ethereal_fauna]

D-Lotus wrote: But what do you think we should do? And how do I make a link without all the ugly url writing, like you have it, ethereal?
I think you should follw the tracks of the woman, see where they lead, before stalking your stalker-I mean going to Lessmarte's.

Code: [url=http://whateverplaceonthenet.com]Your Text Here[/url]

[D-Lotus]

Ethereal, did you really think Holmes wouldn't have already done that if the tracks continued?

Besides, holmes already has a clear idea of who it is. That's part of the Holmes mysteries, to not reveal everything at first.

[ethereal_fauna]

D-Lotus wrote: Ethereal, did you really think Holmes wouldn't have already done that if the tracks continued?
Well he didn't blabber on about doing it. Besides, I voted to follow Lessmarte last time, so I'm struggling here...

[D-Lotus]

What about talking to the people in the village? Investigating the house where the parakeet was mysteriously strangled?

How do I get a nice picture in My signature like yours?

Why are you like the only one saying anything?

[ethereal_fauna]

D-Lotus wrote: What about talking to the people in the village? Investigating the house where the parakeet was mysteriously strangled?

Investigate the house of the parakeet, poor little birdy.

D-Lotus wrote: How do I get a nice picture in My signature like yours?
The same way you get the lovely pictures into your stories.

D-Lotus wrote: Why are you like the only one saying anything?
Everyone else is out pretending like they have a life, but I've given up on that so I can sit here and post away.

[D-Lotus]

I know Phang read it, but she didn't post here...strange....



But how small does the picture have to be? When I try to fit anything in, it says the signature is too long...

[Phang]

There, I've posted. MLERR.

[ethereal_fauna]

D-Lotus wrote: But how small does the picture have to be? When I try to fit anything in, it says the signature is too long...
It's not the size of the picture, but the number of characters required to place a picture in the signature. Why do you think the words on my sig are short and to the point?

[Random]

Since Whichston may finally be able to make a decision on something, I would suggest Whichston suggest something he has always wanted to do. After much tongue tied attempts to express his desire he could finally, in a moment of painful indecision, blurt out his confession to ride go to the Circus and ride the Carousel.

[D-Lotus]

lol....This is a small conservative town, Random, No circus!
But if you can think of any other stupid option, I'll add it along with the smoke opium! :D

[Reiso]

Looking good D, the story's got plenty of funny. I think Whichston might have an inkling to tie his chair to Sheerluck's back for a change, since Holmes would probably not even notice the extra burden anyway.

As to other matters, I'll reserve my choice for voting when the poll is up.

[D-Lotus]

ok then....well, we pretty much have 1 sensible option...but that's ok! :D

I never said any of us were sensible here!

[Araex]

have tea and crumpets while smoking opium, then go to lessmarte

[D-Lotus]

I seem to be having problems with the poll again, how do I add it?

[Araex]

TEA AND CRUMPETS! TEA AND CRUMPETS! TEA AND CRUMPETS!

[Reiso]

D-Lotus, you have to go to your very first post in this forum (page 1), and click on edit. On the bottom, just create a poll as normal (Question in the first field, option A in the second field, click 'add option', etc), and then click submit.

[Araex]

that doesn't work in other forums, i think you have to have your own, or the Mods have to do it

[Reiso]

Only a Mod can delete or edit a poll once it is in place, but if there is no poll in place (as is true in this example, as I have deleted it upon request), then the original poster of the forum in question can add a new one as described in my post above.

This is a new site however, and it could be buggy, but so far this has been working as far as I know. If you still have problems D-Lotus, go ahead and PM me the options for the next poll and I will put it up for you.

[Araex]

Oh right. By the way, when did IF switch to the City of IF?

[Phang]

I would know but I have no sense of time.

[Araex]

LOL

[Reiso]

The change is very recent, I want to say it's been about two months? That sound right to everyone?

[Araex]

cool

[Phang]

I should know to the exact day, since I go on just about everyday. But I don't notice stuff like that.

[Araex]

you didn't notice the biggest change in IF's history? o..k.. then

[Phang]

No, dearie, I didn't notice the time. Honestly, do you think I'm thick?

[Araex]

wow, that was a quick reply

[Phang]

Evil never sleeps.

[Araex]

it does when i put sleeping pills in its coffee! and why would it matter if you were asleep or not?

[D-Lotus]

After my small absence, I have posted the poll...thanks Reiso....let's do this quick so we can keep moving.... :D

[Araex]

i went for tea and crumpets, though "aghsdhsduggshd" was tempting

[D-Lotus]

What are crumpets anyway?

[Reiso]

You know, I am not sure what crumpets are. I always assumed they were kinda like biscuits, or muffins or something. I know they're some kind of English cake, bread or cracker, but damned if I could spot or describe one.

Also, I voted for the gibberish option, because I am too curious to see what you'll do with it.