City of IF

[D-Lotus]

Here comes the new chapter: I hope you enjoy. The last one was a little stupid, I know, but I´m hoping this one is better (or at least not bad for two hours of sudden inspiration)...

Sheerluck Holmes

Chapter ?

Lost in the remotely vague and troublesome chronicles that I wrote in my youth, it seems that a minor problem has filtrated inside these pages due to my youthful congeniality, which I assure has gone over the limit. You must permit me to apologize for my written words, my dear reader. The confusion seems to have originated in an episode where my conduct gave the appearance that I was going to commit an incrimination against my dear, beloved friend Holmes. I assure, and I assure you again, that this erroneous leak in my narration is due to nothing but a simple mistake in my writing. And I would really, and consider my words, I would really appreciate it, if word of this erroneous leak did not make it´s way to my dear friend´s home in Sussex, where he idly resides, spending his time caring for his bees, those loving insects which we all know of thanks to their splendorous and their, oh, so wonderful honey. Although I do wonder why Holmes had to pick Sussex as his resting place. With such a name...I´m sorry, I´m rambling again. The years must be getting on... Let me recomence my tale.

As holmes found the strange treasure in the bushes, I lifted my cane up high in the air, with the intention of...swatting that extremely annoying fly he had on his nose. Down went my cane, and then, suddenly, in that moment, Holmes moved. The cane, as if led by the devil, flew at his head, and with a deafening thunk, it bounced off.

¨Whichston, that was much too close, my dear chap.¨

¨I am so sorry, Holmes. Lucky I brought the cane made of cork today, instead of the normal one.¨

¨Yes Whichston, I could never understand that habit of yours of using the normal cane 364 days a year, and the cork cane only once every year. No matter the reason, it seems that mother luck was standing, or even skulking behind us today.¨

He turned around, disturbed at his own words. Picking up the money with one hand, Holmes started heading back to town. With his other hand, he pulled out the piece of paper that one of the daughters of the murdered man had left in the study in Bakersfield. The drawings were still there, clearly visible. Beneath it, Holmes had written a translation to the crudely drawn pictures. Holmes handed me the paper and smiled in his typical ¨look how drugged on opium I am¨ way, which always made me feel like Holmes was almost at the end of his investigation. I turned from Holmes and stared at the paper. The translation under the drawings read:


The jewels are in the area c-4. See map attached. Take them and bring them to g-6.


¨Holmes, this is the message that one of the daughters of the deceased Mr. Juniors dropped back home, along with that load of slobber, right?¨

¨Exactly¨ beamed Holmes.

¨But, but, how could the lady have come by this if the note is obviously from the man who must have stolen the jewels to someone else?¨

¨Exactly!¨ exclaimed Holmes.

¨Holmes, are you saying that the lady´s are implicated in the murder?¨

¨Exactly, my dear Whichston!¨

¨Holmes, you can´t, you must not be serious about incriminating the lady´s. If they did it, why would they come for our help?¨

¨Exactly!¨ shouted you know who.

¨Unless, unless...of course, unless they knew something but somebody is harrassing them so that they cannot inform the police, which is why they came for the help of private detectives! It all makes sense!¨

¨Exactly!¨ shouted Holmes exclasticaly.

¨Wonderful, Holmes, wonderful! Holmes? Holmes?¨

Holmes suddenly woke up from his trance.

¨I´m sorry Whichston, what were you saying? I had a sudden spasmic attack, I usually start shouting ¨Exactly¨ over and over when that happens. Anyway, let me explain, my theory is, that since we found that note with one of the daughters of the recently deceased...¨

The way back was even longer than the trip to the house. This was consequently due to the chair I yet had tied to my back, and my cane made out of cork. I had to consult with the very best corkers in the city to make that cane, specialists in making cork, namely my cheif helper was a certain Mr.Wonka, who offered me a cane made of chocolate, which I kindly declined to, preferring one that would not melt in the sun. As you will find, cork cane´s are very useful, especially when it comes to the bouncy step it gives you when you walk. Anyway, the cork cane kept flying out of my hand, so I had to regress in my steps and pick it up from the ground. I think I still suffer pain from that day.


Finally, after much effort, Holmes and I succeed in getting back to the village. As we entered the main street, I asked Holmes one last question. I should have never done that, for it would cause a very grave future for Holmes, of which he would never fully recover. Even now, many years later, I wish to apologize. We started to cross the street when I finally asked.

¨Holmes, one question, how did you dischiper the drawings so quickly?¨

¨Easy, Whichston¨ replied he ¨I simply used the code from the other adventure we had, the one of the ¨Dancing Men¨...criminals now a day don´t have any imagination.¨

And as he finished this sentence, was when the fatality occurred.

¨Holmes, watch out!¨ I cried.

But it was too late. It seems I have a good memory, and I will always remember, however dully, this moment. I watched as I jumped back, putting myself in safety, but leaving Holmes to himself. I watched my own cowardice as my boots hit the ground again. I watched the empty street as the dust floated in clouds around my face. I watched myself as I started describing a western scene. And finally, and worst of all, I watched as a red trycicle driven by a small child ran over Holmes, without mercy, without emotions. I watched as the killer machine drove away amid my shouts of horror and a sea of blue fumes, although that could have been my imagination. I tried to read the license plate of the trycicle, but the distance hindered my view.


I forced my knees to the ground and wept for my dear friend. But it seemed he had not died yet. The bag of money had fallen on the ground, and pools of blood formed around him.

¨Whichston!¨ he cried in a hoarse whisper.

¨Holmes, what is it¨ I said at the same time as I wept and sneezed all at the same time.

¨Whichston, take me to the hospital!¨

¨But Holmes, you´ve lost so much blood already!¨

¨Don´t worry, that´s only because of the packs of ketchup I always carry around with me.¨

¨Yes, Holmes.¨

I stood up and cried for help.

Nobody came.

I stood up with a few coins in my hand and cried for help.

Immediately five strong men came running, picked Holmes up, and started bearing him away. I heard Holmes speak faintly behind them.

¨Whichston, carry the investigation out until I´m better.¨

¨I will Holmes, I will.¨ I promised.

¨And Whichston, take that chair off your back.¨

¨What was that Holmes?¨

¨Take the chair off your back!¨ he screamed at the top of his lungs.

¨I can´t hear you, Holmes, bye!¨

As Holmes was beared away, I stared at my palm. The coins were gone. I had a lot of work to do, but how to start? I had a few new clues, and I still hadn´t visited Lessmarte. I picked up the bag of money, my cane, and tied the chair on tighter...

Ok, in this chapter there are more options, so think up.

[ethereal_fauna]

With my chair secured firmly 'neath my buttocks :grin: I decided to pay Lessmarte a visit. Passing the bakery, my tummy grumbled in loud complaint as the smell of freshly baked pastries assaulted my nostrils. The purse of money weighed heavily in my hand...

[Araex]

I think the real decision point in this chapter is obvious: cream bun, gingerbread man or apple danish. It's so complicated!

[Reiso]

Death by trikey can only be the work of one insidious, mastermind villan; Doubtless, Whichston can't remember the name, but Lessmarte might know, so that's as good a place to start as any.

[D-Lotus]

I think there´s still two good options to think about. Look at the note, and remember who had it... :shock:

[ethereal_fauna]

Whichston did remember the note, and tore his thoughts briefly from the smell of cinnamon and sugar to consider that it might be wise to visit the sisters, those daughters of the murdered man, but first he thought it might be wiser to eat one of the danishes freshly pulled from the oven...

[D-Lotus]

Good job ethereal, but there´s still one more clue. Look at the note again...

[PoopOnYoop]

i think he should check, or take investigators to check, the area of (g-6) to see if the jewels are there, or if they are going to end up there in a few weeks. as evidence toward a unsolved case.

ust an idea, im not sure if it's what you looking for, or if it is a stupid reply, cuz im not sure i understand the whole thing but this is my guess


good chapter D,


and im still sry

[D-Lotus]

PoopOnYoop wrote: i think he should check, or take investigators to check, the area of (g-6) to see if the jewels are there, or if they are going to end up there in a few weeks. as evidence toward a unsolved case.

ust an idea, im not sure if it's what you looking for, or if it is a stupid reply, cuz im not sure i understand the whole thing but this is my guess


good chapter D,


and im still sry


YESSSSSSS!!!! YESSSSS!!!!!

ok, now that someone was smart enough to figure it out, we can have a vote!

[PoopOnYoop]

wow! omg i got this right gee now im even happier, firts i was happy cuz D is talking to me now im even more happy cuz i got this right!, yay. i feel so lucky, and happy, i could just fly, :cool:

[D-Lotus]

vote is up

[D-Lotus]

Do I notice a certain lack of interest around here? Crap, it's so hard to keep people interested these days....

[PoopOnYoop]

i feel the same way, but yes i am stll here of course!, where else would i be

[Mother Goose]

I'm here too, and I tied it up. I like treasure maps.

[D-Lotus]

Thank you, guys. Having you around is really recomforting. I'm getting emotional on my computer now, I can't believe it.... :shock: :D

[D-Lotus]

Great a tie....well, then I'll do both things. Chapter up soon.

[PoopOnYoop]

um, d i dont see a tie, but neways, im allways emotional, even on the comoputer, so biggy

[D-Lotus]

Well, there WAS a tie, so I'll have to change that. Ok, votes are closed. Option voted was going to see the map square.