City of IF

[Solomon Birch]

Greetings fellows!

I came up with the idea for this story while reading William Golding's To the Ends of the Earth, and thought what a different but still disturbing place a ship at that time (the late 1800s) to set a horror story.

I've tried to make it sound as realistic as possible, so bear with it.

Also, this chapter doesn't have a descision point, as I can't really work one in until later, but the following ones will definitly have them.

Any feedback will be really appreciated, especially if people don't like it, as i'll totally understand, as it's an odd concept.

But it was hard to word correctly, so be nice, please :)

[Solomon Birch]

Okay, here we go...

The Voyage: Chapter One

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My first voyage on the open ocean occurred during the years 1887-90. It was an inconsequential voyage, departing from familiar old Plymouth to what then seemed at the time like a distant, and rather unfriendly, destination. Australia was not known for its pleasantries, full of convicts, savage natives and other undesirable riffraff.

But the voyage was pleasant, with little ill weather to speak of, and good company for much of the voyage. I delighted at seeing many strange and exotic places; India, for example, where we stopped off in Bombay, was one of the most delightful periods of my hitherto depressingly dull life. The sights, sounds, and I daresay, smells, of that most unusual of places were a delight to partake in, and someday I wish to return and make a good attempt at divining the wonders of that extraordinary corner of our magnificent empire.

Our arrival in Sydney was most welcome, for we had been at sea for a good month and a half, and had had no contact with civilisation for too long. And my preconceptions about the place were misplaced, let me tell you. I was told that the convicts were not free to roam willy-nilly, as I had been led to believe. The scenery was spectacular, although the heat was quite stifling. And I found the natives rather charming, nothing like the devils in Africa that we British schoolboys were brought up to fear and, to some extent, revile.

Anyway, back to the story. I greeted my dear uncle Sir Neville Lightfoot on the docks upon my arrival, and it was a joy to see him since it had been many years since I had last been in his most affable presence
“William, my dear boy! My heart glows at the sight of you. It has been, what….”
“14 years uncle, and it has been too long”
“Well, just look at you! Splitting image of your grandfather, god bless his soul, and none the worse for it, if you don’t mind me saying. Ha! You must be fending the women with a mug like that, am I right?”
“I wouldn’t go that far uncle, but yes I do have my fair share of admirers.”
“I bet you do! Ha! Well, you must be exhausted, let’s get you and your things to the house, shall we?”

As you may have been inclined to notice, my uncle is rather a brash fellow, fond of loud remarks and a bit of good old ‘Wot-Wot’ and all that. The house was pleasant, sitting astride a beautiful hill overlooking the harbour. My Uncle was a very attentive host, and we journed out most days. We even went it to that queerly named part of the interior known as 'The Bush'. I began to aid him in his duties as a lawyer, as that was the reason for travelling such a distance. I must admit, that I found the work tedious, and although I had promised to stay and work with him for at least a year, I reasoned that he would see my restlessness and allow me to seek employment of my choosing, to my liking. I had stayed for many weeks, growing rather fond of the place in the meantime. But on the night of my 33rd day in Sydney, my Uncle made the proposition that would bring about all the ruin and misery that has confined me here to this day. I was condemned as a madman. But I tell you, every ounce of my story is true, and though at the end you may also deem me insane, I would thank you from the deepest recesses of my heart for letting me tell it.

[Muaddib]

Is this a storygame, linear story or an attempt to earn fables. Personally I think it shouldn't be the last because it was well written and interesting for a first chapter.

[Solomon Birch]

it will be a story game, i just didn't have any choices to make at this point. the next chapter hopefully will.

[Shady Stoat]

I look forward to it. The atmosphere of the prologue was great. :D

Good work, Solomon!

[jnmrcs]

It was a very nice start, I hope to see the next chapter...

[Chinaren]

<presses function key5> I agree with Stoat.

Yes, good start! An initial 'prologue' or 'introduction' is acceptable I would say, before venturing forth to the meat of the tale.

Tally ho!

[Solomon Birch]

Thanks guys. Yeah, I seem to have done this 'introductory' chapter with both my stories. Don't know why, maybe because it sets the scene without imposing on people to make a descision from the off.

But it's probably cos' im lazy.... ;)

[Shady Stoat]

chinaren wrote: <presses function key5> I agree with Stoat.


You know... now that I come to think of it... I'm not in Good v evil v money any more... and you never were, Chinaren. So, it might be worth a bid for my late entry, with you as the loyal sidekick, saying "I agree with Stoat!"

(ROFL)

[LordoftheNight]

chinaren wrote: <presses function key5>

im sure that when i press F5 it refreshes instead

[Solomon Birch]

im gonna post the next chapter in a while, as this one doesn't have a descision point but this one hopefully will.

people can just read through the last one on to this one

[Solomon Birch]

Ok here we are.

The Voyage: Chapter Two

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Now, as I was saying, my Uncle proposed a rather exciting expedition. He had listened to my ramblings about the wonders of the Indian sub-continent, and must have noticed my distaste for the clerical work that I pursued with him. He therefore proposed that I join up with an expedition that was leaving for South America
“Now my boy, I recall you telling me about the wonders you witnessed in India. Well, i’ve decided that as you are clearly, and understandably bored with the clerical work, no no, don’t apologize, it’s not for everyone. A friend by the name of Alfred Deadlock is preparing an expedition to the heart of the South American continent. He goes in the hope of discovering some fabled treasure, or city or lost civilisation, I don’t pretend to understand. And I suggested to him that you might come along. What do you say to that, eh?”
“Why, uncle it’s, um, very pleasing. Yes, it sounds absolutely perfect. I was so tired of poring over all those depressingly trivial legal disputes. I would love to journey to that most exotic of places. Why, I may even visit the United States! It would be my utmost pleasure to accompany the esteemed Mr. Deadlock on his voyage.”
“Well then, it’s settled. He leaves in two days, so you best prepare. Get some rest now my boy, for it will be lacking on that voyage.”

And so, I prepared to leave my sheltered, but oh so dull habitation in Australia, bound for our colonies in the Caribbean, and then on to the interior of the continent itself. My uncle arranged for oilskins, a large water-proof trunk and numerous volumes to keep me occupied on the extremely long journey. I bid farewell to my uncles servants, who had treated me impeccably since my arrival, and left the majestic house overlooking Sydney harbour. I would miss my time in Australia, and the events on that loathsome voyage, that would haunt me for the rest of my days, would make me wish that I had never left its pristine surroundings.

So on the morning of the 12th January, my uncle took me down to meet with Mr. Deadlock. As we approached the docks, I inquired of my uncle
“So, which ship will I be sailing on then uncle?”
“That one my boy, the Umbra Turba. One of the fastest ships around. Mr. Deadlock purchased it from the navy after the war with France. Beautiful ship.”
“It certainly is uncle. Oh, is that Mr. Deadlock waiting by the gangplank?”
“The man himself!”
Now, I’ve encountered many unusual and eccentric fellows in my lifetime, but Mr. Deadlock makes the rest look tame in comparison. As a child we heard tales of pirates and rogues who sailed the Caribbean seas. Well, you could describe Sir Deadlock as among that devilish bunch. He wore a wide-brimmed hat, with none other than a white feather in it, and he had a long pink scar that ran from the top of his right cheek, through the mouth and onto the left side of the neck. When he smiled as we approached, the ragged lips on either side of the deep scar pulled the wound taught, making his face seem almost liquid and melted. His voice boomed across the docks, drowning out the calls from the gulls and other sailors
“Is that the boy Neville? Has he the strength to join us on this voyage. He looks a little spindly….”
“I assure you sir that I am in no way spindly. I will be an asset to you and your crew on this voyage!”
“Ha ha! Calm down sir, I was just having a little joke! He is fiery though isn’t he Neville. Welcome aboard! I’ll show you around the fastest ship from here to the West Indies!”

The Umbra Turba was indeed a marvellous ship. It was much smaller than the hulking behemoth that I had arrived in Australia aboard, but still a large sea-going vessel. The main deck was accommodating enough for dozens of occupants. A stairwell in the centre led down to the crew’s cabins, mess hall and a dining room for the captain and his ‘mates’. Then on the upper deck their was the captain’s cabin and a few more rooms, one of which I would be occupying, then, in the hold there were storage rooms, for food, repair equipment and other tools, and the few arms we had brought for our arrival in South America, just in case. There was also much free room in the hold, which Deadlock explained was for the valuable cargo he hoped to obtain when we located his ‘elusive’ prize.

So on that day, we set off from Sydney. This leg of our journey would be the longest, taking almost 4 months to complete, even on a ship as fast as the Umbra Turba. I would have to amuse myself with the tomes my uncle had given me, and with conversing with the friendly crew.

On the evening of the fist day, the crew was in high spirits, and were drinking in the warm moonlit evening atop the main deck. I had been invited to dine with the captain in the dining hall on the lower deck. It was already quite late, but both the captain and I were not feeling particularly hungry. The meal was exquisite (for that of a ship, I mean, as it is very hard to prepare quality meals aboard a moving vessel), far removed from the turgid slop they gave out on my first voyage. We conversed about our destination, and I discovered that this was not the first voyage that Captain Deadlock had undertaken, and the scar on his face was from a Spanish sabre, when they had been attacked by a drunken regiment of soldiers near Campeche, in the Yucatan. His men had dispatched the rowdy soldiers, as they far outnumbered the Spaniards. His men had thought him dead, as he was unconscious from the blow, and only awoke when they were about to bury him! Well, I must admit that despite the tales obvious exaggerations, I was intrigued by this mercenary life of adventure, and could barely suppress my desire to get to our destination and personally dispatch some filthy Spaniards.

After the meal, I headed back to my cabin on the upper deck. I had just dressed in my night-shirt and was preparing to read a chapter from one of my uncle’s dusty tomes, when I heard a faint cry, like that of a child, from a cabin further along the passage. Now I knew that there were no children aboard, so dismissed it as a sea-bird or some other such creature, and continued reading. A little while later, however, and I heard the cry again. This time it sounded strained and almost in pain. Then, I just found it acutely annoying, and could not decide if I should just wait to see if the shrill cry would cease, or go and investigate. I could also wait for the captain, to see if he knew anything about the disturbing sound.

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What should William do? Just ignore the cry, or go and see what it is? Or should he inquire with the Captain to see if he has any idea about the noise?

I'll put a poll up soon, so until then ideas will be appreciated!

Thanks! :biggrin:

[Shady Stoat]

Good start to the story. Very descriptive!

I want to see what's making that noise. I think we should just go and investigate it, because if the captain is up to something underhanded, we don't want to let him know that WE know about it.

We can always tell him later... :cool:

[jnmrcs]

Very nice chapter...

We have to see what it is but it's always recommended to tell the captain. As Shady Stoat said, later but we have to tell him.

[Chinaren]

Shady Stoat wrote: chinaren wrote: <presses function key5> I agree with Stoat.


You know... now that I come to think of it... I'm not in Good v evil v money any more... and you never were, Chinaren. So, it might be worth a bid for my late entry, with you as the loyal sidekick, saying "I agree with Stoat!"

(ROFL)

:shock: Not a bad idea. However, you were never really in GvEvM, just a cousin of yours. I do have plans for your appearance though! Mwahahahahaha! :lol:

[Chinaren]

Sorry! You posted the second chapter between me hitting the REPLY button (yesterday) and the SUBMIT button (this morning)

Good chapter, I voted and... <presses function key5> I agree with StoatI agree with StoatI agree with StoatI agree with Stoat <arg! Desperately tries to un-jam the F5 key...>

[LordoftheNight]

also presses the magical F5 key

and votes to investigate

[Shogun]

I voted to ask the captain, you might need some help with whatever it is. Nice chapters!!! :biggrin:

[Black Widow]

See what it is, see what it is!

And so help me god... if someone doesn't die there will be TROUBLE, you hear me?! TROUBLE!

[Solomon Birch]

Right, iv'e had plenty of votes, so the new chapter will hopefully be up tomorrow.

But keep postin and voting in the meantime :P

[Ingrothechundyer]

Nice start :)

Very enjoyable to read. I too voted to investigate.

[Solomon Birch]

Ok, im gonna write the chapter right now, so if anyone wants to vote, they better soon, although it's pretty unanimous at the moment.

And sorry to anyone who doesn't get to vote, but that's how it goes :lol:

[Solomon Birch]

Right, heres the next chapter.

The Voyage: Chapter 3

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Angered at the noise from down the hall, I decided to investigate the shrill crying that had begun to put the chills on me, its unceasing wail making my hairs stand on end. I laid down the book upon the hutch next to my bunk, which was scarcely more comfortable than a coffin, and just as cramped. I stepped into my shoes, pulled on my overcoat, for the night air was much cooler that the balmy humid temperatures of the daylight hours. I opened the cabin door and was stunned at the darkness of the hallway. The soft rocking of the waves against the ship mixed with the thick, almost viscous darkness made the situation much less desirable than I had hoped. I stepped back into my cabin and picked up the oil lamp, which I had lit to provide a source of light by which to read, hanging from a bolt above my bunk and stepped back into the hall.

The lamp did little to dispel the near-impenetrable darkness that filled the cramped corridor, but at least I now had some sense of where the damp floor met the walls. The wailing was coming from the starboard end of the hall way, away from the exit onto the upper deck. I hesitated, now thoroughly disturbed, contemplating going and inquiring with someone, but thought to myself
“Now William, come on. We don’t believe in ghosts now do we?”
I resolved to proceed with my plan of action and continued to walk very cautiously towards the offending noise. I passed a number of unoccupied cabins, probably 4 in all, before I came upon the one. The door was slightly ajar, with a little crack between the frame. Strangely, it was not rocking to the motion of the waves, as all the doors I had observed on the ship did when left open on the open sea. In fact it was alarmingly motionless. A faint glow came though the opening, and I began to get very scared. I knew the only other person who was staying in this part of the ship was the captain, and he was in the hutch to left of mine, the furthest away from this cabin. And I knew that he was on duty at the moment, probably at the helm. A chill sweat was forming on my brow, and I lent towards the door in an attempt to push it ajar.

Then the moaning suddenly turned into a marrow-freezing shriek that stopped me in my tracks. The air suddenly turned icy, with my thick overcoat doing nothing to keep out the cold. As the cold moved past, the flame in the lantern gutted, flickered and died, despite the covering against such breezes. My nerve finally broke, and I bolted back down the corridor, dropping the lantern, which I heard smashing upon the hard wooden planks. I ran out onto the top deck, the echoes of that cry still ringing in my ears, playing over and over. I dropped to my knees at the top of the stairs leading to the main deck, and fell backwards into my own mind, that damned scream still echoing inside my skull.

I do not remember how long I was unconscious for, but I remember the dreams and nightmares that plagued my fevered mind. I saw the ship burn, the men stripped of their flesh and muscle, just leering skeletons left, hanging from the rigging and the captains yellow bones draped over the helm. I saw a hunched figure, shrouded in a funeral shawl, facing a solitary light in a dark, dripping room. I was stood behind, the figure slowly rocking back and forth. I reached out my hand to pull away the shawl, but as my hand touched the coarse linen fabric the screaming started again and I awoke in a fevered sweat.

I was looking into the nasty yellow eyes of captain Deadlock.
“So, you’ve finally decided to rejoin us have you laddie? Bout’ time to, me and the lads were wondering if you’d decided to sleep the whole voyage. Well then, care to explain why you ran onto the deck in the middle of the night, in naught but your nightshirt, started yelling incoherently and then proceeded to collapse and tumble down the stairs?”

This shocked me, as it sounded completely different from what I remembered happening, but I could have just been delirious. All the same, I had a strange feeling that something was not right about the situation…

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Right. What should William do? He could tell the captain what had happened at the cabin, or he could lie and say he had been feeling ill all day and he must have just been hallucinating. Or he could get away from the creepy captain, and demand to know whats going on. The choice is yours.....

[Shady Stoat]

The atmosphere of this story is terrific! Well done you :D

I'd keep quiet about what I saw. I don't trust the captain at all, and there's nothing to be gained from tipping our hand. He'll probably just deny all knowledge - or even worse, arrange to have you 'taken care of' because you've seen too much.

Make up a lie to explain the screaming fit - and keep your eyes and ears open for any further information. Eavedrop if you have to - but if you hear the noises again, don't go investigating on your own.

There be scary things on this here ship... :-o

[Ingrothechundyer]

I agree with Stoat :)

[CunningFox]

Oooh! interesting! I think the other comments aer pretty spot on. is there a poll i can vote in?

[Chinaren]

Nice chapter. Keep in coming! <F5 key>

[Solomon Birch]

Right, got my poll up. Enjoy!

Oh, and let's see if we can't get a tie shall we, as everyone seems to be having a go at that at the moment :biggrin:

[Ingrothechundyer]

Ties just arn't any fun. Being within one vote of a tie is though ;)

[Chinaren]

I babble a lot, so voted for that one.

[Solomon Birch]

Ingrothechundyer wrote: Ties just arn't any fun. Being within one vote of a tie is though ;)

Yup, they are not fun, but so many people have been plauged with them at the moment i was feeling left out :(

Not really.

Anyway, thanks for voting guys, keep it up! :biggrin:

[dragon_fire372]

You definately shouldn't tell him what happened. If he's up to no good, you'd be screwed. If he has no idea what you're talking about, everyone will think you're crazy, and you'll be screwed again. If, however, the captain actually is a "good guy" and knows what's going on too...well, then he'll know you're lying but at least you won't be...well, you know.

By the way, your descriptions really pull you in, setting a great mood for the story, especially the dream sequence. The story itself is quite intriguing too. Nice job! :D

[LordoftheNight]

voted

[Solomon Birch]

Ok, i'll try and write the chapter tomorrow, so everyone hold their breath! *holds breath*



*goes blue*




*goes black*




*dies*

[Solomon Birch]

did everyone who posted vote? just making sure so i can also count people who posted their ideas but didn't get to vote o-)