City of IF

[Chinaren]

Chapter 7. The Fall.


Cast (in no particular order):
Evil Homer as ‘The Paladin Hero’
DukeReg as Oaf Duke Reginald Percival Thunderking Harwobble the Fifth.
Phang as The Dark Mistress
Muaddib as a wheely thing.
Smee as ‘the victim’
Jnmrcs as the High Commander
Luvd and Mr Moochie as ‘The Ravens’
Hyperion as the Mage.
Dean as the Dean of the Hood
Key as the Magical dignified Chamber Pot.
Araex as Homer’s steed.
Sorrow as a mysterious robed figure.
Idea Master as his wretched minion.
Lord of the Night as an Evil Demon Warrior.
Chainfire as Homer’s sword.
Powers That Be as General Powers ‘the perverted.’
Mother goose as a hydroose
D-Lotus as the Elven special forces commander


The Hero.

“Tell me what you know then.” Evil Homer turned to Sorrow.

Sorrow seemed to sigh, though it was hard to tell under the black robes he wore. “I know that Phang as she is now is nearly invincible. If you try to kill her now you will fail.”

“So I saw at Cra-yon pass. Dean of the Hood stuck her through with his blade and she merely laughed at him.”

“Yes, it will take more than a blade, even a magical or blessed one to take her down, and if even if you do kill her, she will rise again.”

“So you are saying it is hopeless then? We should surrender now? I will never do that!”

Sorrow held out his gloved hands in appeasement. “No. You have no need of that. She can be…Eliminated.”

Homer was growing impatient. “So tell me!”

“I don’t know.”

Homer threw his hands in the air and slumped back. “Why am I talking to you?”

“…but I know someone who does.”

The Villain.

Phang sat on the slug. She had rested well and feasted upon several more of General Power’s private stock of young slave flesh. The General himself sat upon a large black stallion beside her and a force of her elite undead slaves of hell stood guard in front of them.

The hordes of Darkness had been attacking the Fort for nearly 24 hours without break. Still the Silver Lands stubbornly held.

“It is time.” Phang stated simply. She kicked the Smee Slug in the side and slimed forward through the throng. General Powers, rode after her.

Smee slug slimed forward, through and sometimes over the minions of Phang’s armies. At one point she raised a hand and disintegrated a boulder thrown from a distant defending catapult that was heading in their direction. Otherwise she cast no magic.

It was not long before the small force arrived at one of the breaches in the wall. Defenders cast arrows and spells down at her and the attacking army. Nothing came near Phang or her small force. Slowly Smee climbed up through the rubble, on more than one occasion he slid over a dark soldier, leaving it bubbling behind them in his slime.

Soon they encountered enemy troops. A squad of Gnome musketeers fighting a group of war goblins. Smee slowed, hesitating in the face of the guns, even though no projectile broke through Phangs shield.

Phang raised a hand. A wind blew from behind her into the Gnomes. At the winds touch their skin peeled back, muscles were stripped to reveal bone. Bone flaked and then crumbled under the touch of the acid wind. The Goblins cheered and surged forward, rallying to their dark queen.

Jnmrcs

“Curses! Something in happening in the center!” Jnmrcs noted the breach on his map. He turned to D-Lotus who was trying to chat up one of the guards.

“Lotus! Get your squad together now! They have broken though the center!”

Lotus may have been the worlds biggest Pansy, but he was a soldier still. “Aye captain!” He snapped off a salute and turned and ran out of the door, glitter falling in his wake.

The Slug.

Smee surged on over living and dead alike. His broken and transformed body forced forward by the one who had committed foul deeds upon him. Somewhere in his broken mind a spark still glowed. It was a small one, but sometime a small spark is all it takes to light a fire.


The Villain.

Resistance was mounting. It didn’t matter. All that stood before Phang fell. Some died in fire. Some died in ice. Some died slowly and some quickly. It didn’t matter; they all fell.

D-Lotus

Lotus moved his crack squad of elves through the regular troops. There was a major disaster befalling the lands of the light. If he didn’t stop it they were doomed. Hacking a zombie out of the way he finally confronted the source of the breakthrough.

Phang. The Dark Queen herself.

“Hold!” He shouted. “You shall move forward no further this day!” He raised his blade, a magical blade with powers bestowed upon it by the High Elf himself, and stood in the path of the Great Evil.

The Villain.

Phang was feeling pleased. So far she had not met with anything that had taxed her power. The mages of the Silver Lands resisted her magics of course, but their defense was designed to counter spells cast from afar, not within the immediate area. To counter those they would have to be closer, much closer.

Then there was a ludicrous figure in-front of her. It was an elf of some kind, dressed in pink and black shorts, very tight shorts. She slowed Smee and leaned forward for a better look. Hmmm, not bad.

The figure raised a sword and spouted off some bravado about ‘not passing’.

Phang chuckled, a sound so evil several elves died on the spot, ears bleeding. “My dear Powers, perhaps I should give this one to you?”

Powers shook his head. “No, Elves are just so much trouble, besides they scream too loud, even through gags. They are pretty good dead though, just the right texture. Still, I like the shorts.”

Phang nodded. “Little Elf. Nice shorts.” She shouted. Then she raised a hand and pointed.

The Slug.

The thin pink figure in front of Smee was resisting. Smee could feel the power thrown at him from Phang, and the figure resisted still, holding his sword before him to ward off the dark power. But it wouldn’t be enough. The darkness was winning.

The spark glowed, as if fanned by a sudden breeze.

The Villain.

“What the?...” Phang said. Her magic was interrupted and flew wide, melting a hole in the rock as her slug mount suddenly surged forward over the tight shorted elf.

There was a sucking sound and D-Lotus disappeared.

A short time later Smee and Phang moved forward. Behind them an elf with sparkly glitter on his cheeks stared skywards through a layer of transparent slime. To the naked eye one would have said he was dead, but if you looked closer…

Jnmrcs

It was a route. Jnmrcs hung his head. What had started as a small breach in the wall had become a full fledged route. D-Lotus had not returned and all the forces he threw against the intruders had been met by devastating defeat. Now the army was wavering, the slightest touch would see them shattered.

Too late, the defending mages had realized the danger and turned their spells from defensive to offensive, but they met with neutralizing magic from the hordes. The Elves were better at defensive magics anyway.

Jnmrcs turned to his personal aide. “Ready my battle armor” he commanded. The aide nodded and turned to go, only to fall back with a black feathered arrow jutting from his eye socket.

Jnmrcs drew his blade as the undead swarmed into his command center. He cut one down, another, but then the cold bite of steel stung. Again and again.

He fell as a figure approached his position and stood over his prone form. The light was fading and he heard her voice as if through a tunnel.

“I told you we would meet again high commander. You should have taken my offer the first time.” A pause and Jnmrcs felt his sword being taken from his limp hand.

“A nice blade” came the voice. “Let’s see how it handles eh?”

There was a dull thud and Jnmrcs felt no more.

The Hero.

“So who knows?”

“A witch. A powerful ancient hag. Twisted and bitter she is.”

“Where can I find this witch of yours?”

“Well, there is the problem. She keeps her whereabouts secret. The latest information is that she in the Black Forest.”

“The Black Forest? That is many leagues travel!” replied Homer.

“Yes, but I also know she sometimes can be found in the city of Rulm.”

“Rulm is beyond Fort Cra-yon, we would have to get past the blockade.”

“I know, but it is closer.”

Homer sighed. “How did you save us before? How did you know to build a soft place for us to land? Who are you?”

“In due time these things you shall learn.” Sorrow answered. “Now you have heard what I have to say. What shall you do now?”

Evil Homer pondered his options. The Black Forest was many leagues away, and there was no guarantee the witch would be there. On the other hand Rulm was a lot closer, but through Phang’s horde. That is assuming Sorrow was telling the truth of course. He looked at his dented armor. He needed to choose…