City of IF

[Chinaren]

I am going to work on this one soon, so any further votes, get em in quick.

[Idea master]

Missed the idea phase, darnit.
Well, I voted for the distraction (Or will, when I'm done typing!)
However, I've an idea. What if Soily accidently pushes the red button on the bracelet? You never said that the group took the things off.
I'm very certain that said button will cause a large explosion, acting as a very good distraction. The only possible flaw would be that it would be staged upon Soily's wrist, possibly killing him, if such a thing were possible. After all, he is a shambling mound of soil, and as such, quite hard to kill.

[LordoftheNight]

Quote: The only possible flaw would be that it would be staged upon Soily's wrist, possibly killing him,

....I see no flaw.


It'd be funny.

[Chinaren]

I am sure we could manage something... :grin:

[Chinaren]

Chapter 14 - Not with a Whimper...

“I think I have an idea,” said Lordy. “Smee, come down here a moment will you?”

Smee grunted and climbed down, hushing several complaints from the Soiled one as he put his hands and feet in various anatomical parts.

“What is it?” He asked, once down.

“We attack,” said Lordy.

“But there are loads of them! How do you expect us to get through that lot?” Smee hissed.

“A distraction.” Lordy turned to Solomon. “Soily, show us your bracelet a moment would you?”

Soily held his hand out. “What? What is it? Are you going to change my appearance again?”

“You could say that,” said Lordy. He stabbed down and pressed the red button, which flashed and began bleeping.

“That’s the self destruct!” shrieked Smee, albeit quietly. “Get him away from us, it will blow in less than 20 seconds!”

“Whaaa?” Soily stood stunned for a moment, which was all the time Lordy needed to hoist him up, grunting as he did so, and throw him into the middle of the midnight meeting.

“Mud in the hole!” shouted Lordy to Jack, who promptly went into shadow mode.

There was a long earthy shriek as Soily sailed through the air, looking like the ground had decided to skip all the usual evolutionary steps and just start flying.

The dark hooded figures followed the Flight of Solomon Birch as he wailed through the air, to come to an abrupt and dull sounding landing in the middle of them.

The figures converged on the distraught mud-man, whose wailing was suddenly overwhelmed by a short high pitched tone from the bracelet.

“Cover your eyes,” said Smee to Lordy.

Lordy did so. There was a very loud squelchy sound and a bright light lit up the night sky. A large portion of the dock disappeared, replaced by a crater, and had it been light, a dirty colored mushroom cloud would have been seen rising above the river.

Mud rained down over a wide part of IF, fertilizing plants for the most part. Some hit Rai, who was walking back home after a late meal*, causing her to swear as her best gown was splattered with it. Bits fell into Muaddib district, though if anything they made the place slightly cleaner. Geek Girl was looking over the old Cryptid’s Hall with Jez Sharp** when several large pieces smashed a window, making them both jump. Sat in his Jacuzzi Key looked suspiciously at a brown lump floating in the water. He shook his head. Couldn’t be.

Back at the docks Lord of the Night shook his head, temporarily deafened by the explosion. Several figures were still standing, one of them appeared to be the one Jack had spoken to. The demon wasted no time, but leaped forth, talons extended, eyes glowing red.

The suspect shrieked, and lifted a large stick, which belched fire. Lordy roared as the strange wand’s discharge hit him in the shoulder, but he kept coming.

The cloaked figure turned and fled, and by the time Lordy had hacked his way through the remaining minions he had disappeared into the night.

“Damn,” he said. “Lost him!”

“Maybe not,” said Smee, and pointed down at a pair of muddy footprints. “Let’s go!”

The two raced through the night, following the trail along the river a ways, then cutting over to the wrong side of the tracks, and into the seedy area of Muaddib district. Several of the girls waved as Smee went past, but he ignored them.

The trail led to a narrow alleyway, and finally to a stout woodedn door behind a closed down Sleepeasy***.

“Hah! We have him now,” said Lordy, cracking his knuckles.

“Let’s go,” said Smee. He paused. “You first.”

Lordy sniffed, but pushed on the door, which swung open with a creak. A narrow stairway led down, and a dull throbbing noise could be heard coming from below somewhere.

The two crept forward, down the stairs and along a short corridor. They peered around a corner, to see a spacious yet gloomy underground room. In the center a strange machine whirred and pulsed with a blue light.

“Idearium powered!” Hissed Smee. “It’s that infernal Mod machine! The rumors were true!”

“It must be destroyed then,” said Lordy. “Such an abomination cannot be allowed to exist!”

They moved into the room, towards the machine which hummed and throbbed. Halfway there a figure stepped into their path.

“Come no further,” it said in the shadows. “With this machine my master will destabilize IF, bringing your precious council to its knees!” The person threw his head back and laughed the manical laugh of insane villains everywhere.

“Foul evil,” Lordy said, and then paused. “Well, that has to be admired of course. Even so, I cannot allow you to keep this machine. Stand aside and wait in the corner, I will disembowel you later.”

“You are too late,” cackled the hooded shape. “I have already used it! Even as we speak JezSharp, The White Blacksmith, Alegria, Jack, Lebrenth, Dinnerhen, Rai, Geek Girl, even the lowly Smudger have already been transformed! Once it reaches optimum power Chiacutie will be next!”

“NOOOOOOOOO!” shouted Smee, and dived forward. In slow motion, ‘cos all the best action scenes have a slow motion bit, he flew threw the air, hand outstretched. From his palm a small but intense fireball leapt forth, heading straight for the Mod maker.

The shadowy figure moved, but Lordy jumped and intercepted him. The scene paused as they met, both figures hanging in cool looking martial arts positions. The camera angle rotated 180 degrees and suddenly the action resumed at normal speed.

Lordy’s claws sliced his enemies’ large wand in two, and a bite with extra sharp demon teeth ended the fight before it could begin, just as Smee’s fireball, which had been slowed down so the author could finish one of the villains off first, impacted the machine, causing the second large explosion of the night.

An Idearium-fueled blue energy pulse spread out over Muaddib’s district which, being the district it was, resulted in fourteen new perversions being invented, two of them fatal.

The Sleepeasy blew up, scattering wood and cheap building materials over a several block radius. Another mushroom cloud, this one a pretty luminescent blue, rose above the area. Unfortunately no one was looking, so the effect was completely wasted.

>

“Whaa..?” said Smee, waking up.

“Rest easy,” said the furry orange figure sat next to him. “You had a bit of a knock there.”

“Where am I? What happened? Is Lordy alright?” Smee tried to sit up, not easy when half his body was covered in bandages and plaster casts.

“Oh he is fine. Demon skin is tough.”

“How long was I out?” asked Smee. “My mayoral duties! I have to get up! Things to do!”

Chinaren put a calming paw out. “Ah, yes. About that. Well, the thing is you were out quite a while.”

“Quite a while?”

“Several months in fact.”

“Several months?”

“Indeed, and I strongly resent the accusations that my medics kept you drugged and unconscious through the elections.”

“Elections? What Elections?” asked Smee, struggling to keep up. “Mayoral Elections?”

“Your term of office ended a little while ago.” Chinaren stood up and patted Smee’s arm comfortingly. “Don’t worry though, the good guy won in the end. You destroyed the Mod Machine, and Lordy finished off Evil Homer.” He winked and then rubbed the gold plated chain around his neck. “Now, you just get some rest. Someone will be in to check on you soon.” He smiled and sauntered out of the room.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

*We don’t know who it was.
**The record doesn’t show why they were both out there at midnight, but as City Councilors it had to be something dodgy.
***As they are sometimes called. In fact they are rarely they used for actual Sleep, though the people who inhabited the place can be described as easy, for the right money.


>>>>>>

Thus Smee was successful in his mission, and all the city changes were nicely incorporated, if I do say so myself.

I think the people and city have changed so much since I started this story, that I will leave it here for now. Never fear though, Another Tale of IF shall come along in the future! Much to the distress of Powers I am sure.

I hope you enjoyed this one!

Cren.

<<<<<<

[The White Blacksmith]

Great! Now, all you need to do is edit your siggy and the takeover will be complete...

As I said, great! Only thing is... with the mod machine exploded, won't we (me an' the other new mods) go back to being *gulp* non-mods...

[dinranwen]

*In the corner, deep in the shadows a form imerges, drops a note, gets back into the corner disappering only to reapear somewhere deep, deep in the HEM district*

To the honorable, not so beloved Mayor of If, Chinaren:

Lovely little sg you have here, I couldn't resist reading it once I noticed that my name (or least something resembling my name) was mentioned. Found it....paricular, but in a good way. However, as Wiilhum Shockspere once said in a play of his "All's well that ends well" and this seems to have ended well enough.

Lurking somewhere,

*The note has been signed:*

[LordoftheNight]

Quote: “You are too late,” cackled the hooded shape. “I have already used it! Even as we speak JezSharp, The White Blacksmith, Alegria, Jack, Lebrenth, Dinnerhen, Rai, Geek Girl, even the lowly Smudger have already been transformed! Once it reaches optimum power Chiacutie will be next!”

Ahh, I knew there had to be a reason for you to be throwing power around like that, as opposed to giving it where it rightfully belongs. *preens modestly*

Still, it explains a lot, such as what happened to Soily, and why Smee didn't stand again.

[Chinaren]

The White Blacksmith wrote: Great! Now, all you need to do is edit your siggy and the takeover will be complete...

As I said, great! Only thing is... with the mod machine exploded, won't we (me an' the other new mods) go back to being *gulp* non-mods...

hehe, I think the effects will last a while.

Thanks for the comments guys, this was an enjoyable one to write.

[Mother Goose]

Enjoyable to read, too. Thanks yourself!

[Key]

Great ending, china :D

[Argonaut]

Indeed, bravo, a fun time was had by all :)

[JezSharp]

Yes, this has to be one of my favourite sg's China, great stuff and well ended :)