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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 4:49 pm    Post subject: EVE OF DESTRUCTION  

EVE OF DESTRUCTION

Quick Summary: God has created Adam. God is mean. Adam hid, so God made another Adam. The Adams don't get along too well. Eve begins to form, while a newborn full-sized bear finally finishes growing.

Bear can talk! Adam2 (Vygar) makes friends, and together they go to talk to Adam and Eve to warn them about a "Great Evil".

(Minor note, the word "Evil" is not yet in Adam's vocabulary. It looks like it's up to Eve to decide)
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 4:55 pm    Post subject:  

Oooh! New story! Exellent. :D
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 4:58 pm    Post subject:  

EVE OF DESTRUCTION


Adam never felt sleep before... nor anything else for that matter... but if everything turns out this good, this could be a very good life. He can't wait to find out! ... Well, ok, maybe he could wait a few more minutes. So he rolls over and drifts off again. Then he shifts and sits up, rubbing his eyes and stretching. 'Getting Up' isn't going as well as sleeping, so he quickly decides to give it up and lay back down on the soft dust.

A loud thunderous crash rolls through the heavens and shakes him out of his skin. He jumps to his feet, looking frantically around. ... Everywhere he looks... nothing but dirt and no sign of whatever made the sound. Then a deep loud voice booms from above:

"Go on."

"... Excuse me?" Adam replies timidly.

"I said 'Go on.'"

"Yes, I can hear you very very well, but I don't understand what you mean!"

"Get on with it."

"Get on with what?"

"I don't know... stuff."

He looks around in confusion... definitely not as pleasant as sleep.

"I still don't understand! Who's talking to me?"

"I'm up here!"

Adam looks up at the bright white light of the sun at first, but then notices a big black circle, like a dark eye looking down on him.

"Is that you?"

"Yeah."

"... Did you make me?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know... I thought it would be kind of fun. I'm going to make some more stuff too."

"Well that's good."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... it is kind of boring here."

"Tell me about it. I'll be back in a second."

But the black eye continues to stare down at him. He feels self-conscious, especially because he isn't wearing any clothes. He can't be sure, since he doesn't have much experience at this sort of thing, but it doesn't seem right.

After a while, he gets tired of waiting so he lays down and starts doing that sleep thing again. Just as he is getting the hang of it, the voice returns.

"Hey, wake up!"

"What now?" Adam groans, realizing he'll have to 'get up' again.

"I got something for you," it says and suddenly a large red raindrop falls from the sky. It strikes the ground silently, leaving a red crater about as wide as Adam is tall. He looks into the crater, which soon turns into red mud.

"What is it?"

"You'll see. I'll come back later when it's done."

Adam, having nothing else to do, watches it bubble and then slowly take form. It takes a long time, but little by little it grows out of the ground like a skyscraper being constructed level by level. It starts turning brown near the middle, and green on the wide part on top, with red orbs hanging on it. The voice returns just in time.

"What do you think?"

"What is it?"

"It's a tree."

"You made me a tree. Thanks. ... What are those red things?"

"Apples... you're supposed to eat them."

"Oh... that sounds neat."

"Well, actually, you're not supposed to eat those ones."

"Why not?"

"It's really really bad, ok? Just leave them alone."

"... So why did you make them?"

"Look, I haven't ever done this before, so just do what I say and leave the apples alone, ok?"

"Ok! Fine! Thanks for the tree!"

Another drop falls from the sky, not so big this time... this one is green.

"What was that?"

"It's a surprise."

Why bother asking any more questions with those sort of answers? He resolves to do a lot more sleeping and makes himself a sort of dirt pillow and drifts off again. Of course, all he's ever known to dream about is dirt, so that's what he dreams and though everything looks about the same, it seems to be a lot more comfortable when looking at it while asleep.

He would happily sleep the rest of his life, but as he's lying there, something moves across his arm, up on his chest and then his face. His eyes open to two long fangs and a forked tongue flicking his cheek. And something weird happens... he doesn't dare move! And at the same time, he can't seem to go back to sleeping either!

Several hours of cheek flicking later, a loud booming laughter erupts from the sky.

"HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

It seems to make the green thing nervous and tense. Carefully Adam says,

"What's going on here!?"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

The nervous green thing slithers off of Adam's face and heads for the tree. It coils around it, climbing up to the branches.

"What is that thing!?"

"It's a-- HA HA HA HA-- It's a-- a snake!"

"And what's a snake!?"

"If it bites you, it will poison you and you'll die!"

"WHAT!? You make me a tree I can't eat and now you got me a poisonous snake! I'm starting to think you don't like me very much!"

"HA HA HA, this is fun. Hold it, I have to take a picture."

Just as Adam is about to ask what a picture is, a bright blinding flash burns Adam's eyes, leaving him painfully blind for several minutes.

"This is great," the voice continues, "I'm going to make some more stuff."

"Please don't! Please, I'm begging you!"

... But the voice does not answer as the laughs fade away, leaving Adam alone with the tree and the snake. Anywhere away from that snake is fine with Adam, so he runs in a random direction away from it. It takes a while before he can't see it anymore... but just to be sure, he keeps running, constantly looking over his shoulder....

THUMP!

Adam finds a shortcut to falling asleep, only this is a lot more painful. When he recovers, he realizes that he nearly ran off the edge of the Earth, but something stopped him. He reaches out and touches some kind of invisible wall.

"This is probably far enough," Adam says to himself reassuringly. It seems like he's been running a long time. He's very tired and of course I don't need to tell you what he does next. He even sleeps through the rainstorm.


Finally, Adam feels like he's slept enough. That's when he realizes the ground feels funny... fuzzy or something and it's all green. Green! Like the snake! And that's not the only thing. The whole world changed! There's so many new things it boggles his mind! Mountains, trees, flowers, grass, this wet blue stuff, all sorts of things!

"Better!" Adam yells. "Much much better!"

He wanders away from the edge of the Earth and examines everything, giving things names, smelling them, tasting them (with mixed results) and finally finding a perfect spot: a shady tree with fresh green grass next to a river. He gathers a few of his favorite tasting things and dips his feet in the blue stuff.

"Adam?" the booming voice calls, "Hey Adam! Where are you?"

"Over here! Hey! See me?"

"There you are. What do you think?"

"I like it a lot! Thank you very much!"

"You're welcome."

"... So... I was wondering... you said you made me right?"

"Right."

"... So... does that mean you're God?"

"... Um... yes. Yes, I am God."

"... Ok..." Adam responds awkwardly.

"Look, I got something else for you."

"That's ok! I don't think I need it right now."

"Don't be a baby, this will be cool."

"What is it?"

"I got a whole bunch of weathers for you. I want to try this one called 'Lightning Storm'."

"You know, I'm still trying to get used to this place. Could you hold off on that for a few days?"

"No."

"Ok... thanks God," he says to the giant black eye.

"You're welcome."

'Lightning Storm,' Adam soon discovers, is a terrible thing. Everything becomes dark, the wind becomes cold, and the rain turns into pelting hail.

Then the lightning comes, which confuses Adam because he thought they were called 'pictures'. But there is a small difference. The 'picture' didn't crack the tree and make a hot orange and yellow thing, like the 'lightning' did to the tree he sat under.

Adam runs for his life, but the lightning storm is everywhere. Then he spots a whole forest of trees, next to the mountain with the dark hole in it. The hail is intolerable... he has to find 'shelter' now!
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 5:13 pm    Post subject:  

Hahaha! Loved this!

Though I think you need to check the tense here and there. Writing in present is hard, and you slipped a few times.

Er, as for where. Dig a hole maybe? He doesn't have a whole lot of options at the moment I think!
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 5:24 pm    Post subject: Feeling tense  

I've been told that before. Actually, I started in past tense and found myself back into present tense after a few paragraphs, so I changed the start to present very carefully.

The way the story runs in my head, there tends to be some juggling. First it's 'in progress' then its retrospective. Then there's that indecision that I started the story with. I really got to get this straight in my head!

In the meantime I'll iron out those lapses. Thanks for bringing my attention to it, Chinaren!
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 5:36 pm    Post subject:  

There, that's better. Geez, there were a lot more than I thought! I have to work on that....
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:34 pm    Post subject:  

*shakes head* I have empathy for you Lebby - I have much the same trouble myself, very annoying. :)

I'll read this new start shortly.

Happy Writing. :)
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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:46 pm    Post subject:  

*hands out the fake rubber cookies of the humor section*

Welcome to H&E Lebby. What took you so long? ;)

Beautiful start. Simply beautiful! :cool:

I'm torn between choosing a sensible option - falling to his knees and praying for God to try out a different weather now!

- or a funny option - he's got to try the forest. Lots of nice sheltery trees in there. No worries! :D

Looking forward to seeing the poll options on this one...
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:57 pm    Post subject:  

I didn't know what I was expecting when I started reading, but Stoat's statement sums up pretty well.

An excellent start. Thankfully no one has arrived at work yet to see me grinning inanely at the screen. :lol:

I don't think he's got the praying option sorted yet, so he'll run for the forest, although it'll be entertaining reading about him trying to dig a hole.

Keep it coming Lebby. :D
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:03 am    Post subject:  

wow it's amazingly good

i nearly laughed*

i think he should head for the forest - even if the lightning storm is still going, he wouldn't know that the 'picture' was attracted to tall things

keep it up

*i never laugh if i can help it
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:15 am    Post subject:  

I read it again, it's still great!

I particularly love this line...

Quote: "HA HA HA, this is fun. Hold it, I have to take a picture."

Wonderful! :great:
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:24 pm    Post subject:  

Shady Stoat wrote: *hands out the fake rubber cookies of the humor section*

You know, those cookies aren't so bad after they stop richocheting off my teeth. You'll have to tell me the recipe some time. By the way, I'd like to compliment whoever decided to put "humor" and "experimental" in the same forum. That way, if it isn't funny you can just say it was experimental. Helped assure me I could post without danger.

Thanks for your encouragement everyone! It makes writing a lot funner!

I'll be continuing my stories after a whole week off. I'm going on a little vacation, but I'll be thinking about you guys. Especially you, Lordy, you big softie.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 5:26 pm    Post subject:  

Have a good holiday Lebby!
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 10:44 pm    Post subject:  

*grins at the big softie that is Lordy - he's not that evil afterall. :) *

Have a great holiday Lebby - we'll miss you too. :)
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 1:44 am    Post subject:  

I am sooo evil, it's people like you always getting me down
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:48 am    Post subject:  

BREAKING NEWS: An army of whales and dolphins declares war on the pirates of the Caribbean. Also, the "Eve of Destruction" poll is up. More at 11.
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Muaddib



Joined: 31 Dec 2004
Posts: 1765

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:54 am    Post subject:  

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!

A story I actually read and loved immediately.
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 8:07 am    Post subject:  

*reads again*

:lol:

He won't want to go towards any more trees that the lightning my cause to split and spew out orange, yellow things - he's learnt that much.

At the same time he's already learnt that appealing to 'God' doesn't seem to work. From his experience so far of gifts like the apples and the snake, I think he'll also be reluctant to head for the hole in the big mountain thing.

The only thing he really knows is dust and dirt, so I voted for digging a hole.

Happy Writing. :)
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:37 am    Post subject:  

to the trees
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 4:35 pm    Post subject:  

Voted for digging a hole, for the same reasons as Smee said, though some of the other options were very tempting too!!
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Muaddib



Joined: 31 Dec 2004
Posts: 1765

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 9:47 pm    Post subject:  

Pelt the idiot...
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 4:12 pm    Post subject: EVE OF DESTRUCTION, Chapter Two  

Chapter Two, "Eve of Destruction"

The experiences Adam has thus far had with trees or any of these new things has not been very rewarding. The only thing that was ever nice to him, gave him a place to stay and sleep, was the dirt.

There's not much to work with, a few sharp rocks, but after a thin layer of grass the dirt is soft and fluffy. It's easy to dig through the light grey stuff and soon a fair sized hole is open for habitation. Adam laughs to himself, confident that God can't possibly find him in there. Problem is, the rain keeps getting in.

'I'll have to find something to block the opening,' Adam reasons. So this time, when he climbs into the comfy little hole burrowing under the grass, he pulls some dirt back with him to cover the opening. No problem, and he's already feeling much warmer, if a little stuffy.

And Adam curls up in a happy snuggly little ball and goes to sleep.


Eventually the storm passes, and God comes back to try another one, but loud as he yells, Adam does not stir. Two days pass before Adam finally has to get up. He simply could not ignore the terrible pain in his stomach any longer. Plus he's been leaking and having these strange urges to find some of those tasty things he found the other day.

He crawls out of his smelly hole carefully. The Black Eye is still looming above him. Mostly, everything looks the same. Oh, except the forest burned up, leaving a bunch of black spikes sticking up out of the ground.

For a moment, he just lays there, waiting to be smitten or something... but nothing happens.... Well, this wouldn't be the first time God left him by himself. And that's fine! If he never sees God again it will be just fine.

So off to find more of those yellow things he named "hurunguses", and maybe a few green "Poonus" and an orange... he still can't come up with a good name for those yet. Anyway, they're great, and very satisfying. The only other thing he likes besides sleeping so far. Adam gets a head start and starts burying a bunch of hurunguses and oranges in case of another Lightning Storm.

"Hey Adam," God says. Not already! Adam turns around and looks back at the Eye, but before he responds he hears another voice.

"What do wish, Mighty All-Powerful Creator, whose voice makes the world tremble?"

Now who was that! He sounded very familiar. Adam follows the voice back towards the Tree. God continues talking to him.

"You will soon see, my humble servant. I have brought another animal."

"Please, your Greatness, I still can't get your last gift off of my leg!"

Adam peers carefully through the corivars (which is Adam's word for thorn bushes), and sees another man, just as tall, just as wide, just as goofy looking and just as naked. But he doesn't look very good. He's scraped up, very tired, and there seems to be a scaly thing with a big mouth clamped on his leg.

"SILENCE!" God booms! It seems he's become an even bigger jerk in the last two days. "You will now witness the awesome creation of my invention! The Bear!"

"Yes, O Mighty All-Powerful Creator whose voice makes the world tremble...." the other fellow says dismally. Geez, that guy looks like he hasn't had sleep for hours! And now his face is leaking and making weird sobbing sounds!

A big brown drop descends from the sky and lands a few yards away.

"Have Fun! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" God exclaims, his laughs fading away again. Adam steps out of the pointy corivar and approaches the wreck of a man still crying with a lizard on his leg. Adam starts comparing his arms and hands and toes to the poor man.

"That jerk replaced me!" Adam says. Adam2 looks up with fear!

"Please Mr. Bear! Don't eat me!"

"What are you talking about!? I'm not a bear! He landed over there!"

Adam2 jumps up and starts running away... well, sort of. With the lizard dragging his legs and whipping his tail onto everything they get close to, its more like a slow labored shuffle. Adam sighs and goes over to the brown puddle where the bear is being formed. It will take hours before it's finished. Adam carefully dips a finger in the muck. It's gooey and it tingles and it tastes like a really nasty syrup. He spits it out and looks around scratching his head. Even if it does take hours, Adam2 isn't getting anywhere....
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 4:29 pm    Post subject:  

Nice nice!!! :D

More! more!! :D :D

Oh, and d-point? :?
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:07 pm    Post subject:  

Well I don't know, Chinaren. Do you feel intruded upon by Adam2? Do you want to do anything about this bear?
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:27 pm    Post subject:  

Good chapter. :lol:

I'm tempted to suggest leading Adam 2 to the swirling bear puddle and getting him to bathe in it, see what happens?

However, I'm feeling charitable this morning. Let's go help him get the reptile off his leg, and show him some hurunguses. Maybe introduce him to sleeping holes.

Happy Writing. :)
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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 11:59 pm    Post subject:  

Good chapter Lebby :cool:

Well, of course Adam is going to feel a bit miffed about Adam2 being here. But it's got to occur to him that anyone who can take a bit of god's attention away from Adam1 HAS to be a plus!

I'd say be friendly and nice and let the clone try out all the new stuff first. He can be the one to find out that skunks aren't all that friendly, and that you can't eat a coconut from the outside :D

Don't do anything about the bear but keep yourself away from it while introducing Adam2 to it if necessary. God in a good mood is bad enough. God who's been thwarted might find a way to be even worse! :shock:
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:13 am    Post subject:  

Well, Adam1 doesn't know what a bear is either, so he should wait around and see what it is becoming. If he decides it is 'bad' he could lead A2 to it for when it solidifies.

I think he should despatch A2 before Eve1 comes along! Don't want a lot of competition there!
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 7:57 am    Post subject:  

i dont remember there being two adams in my copy of the good book

i think he should follow adam2 and see where he's going for now
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 9:06 am    Post subject:  

lordofthenight wrote: i dont remember there being two adams in my copy of the good book


You have a copy of the GOOD book, and you memorized parts from it? I'm confused!
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 2:32 pm    Post subject: Poll for EVE OF DESTRUCTION  

The Stars predict that a poll will open up in the seventh house for EVE OF DESTRUCTION
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 9:08 am    Post subject:  

of course I do - i'll have you know I'm a devout Christian

If you look closely you'll find I'm mentioned in it in fact, near the end somewhere. Begins with R...Re...Rev?

changed my mind and had to go for murder - something about the name
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:26 am    Post subject: EVE OF DESTRUCTION, Chapter Three  

Chapter Three of EVE OF DESTRUCTION.

Adam looks back up at the black eye and down at Adam2. The poor guy has really had a rough time. A rough time that Adam himself would have endured if Adam2 didn’t distract God…. Maybe it would be best to keep Adam2 around.

Adam goes into the black trees and finds a thick branch that isn’t too badly burned. Adam2 grows more frantic as the armed man approaches him, but still can not outrun the man even though he’s just strolling casually toward him. He pulls and kicks and yanks but can not escape the walking menace.

“Hold still,” Adam says. Adam2 raises his arms over his face. Suddenly his leg feels a powerful yanking and clamping.

“Ow! What are you doing?!” Adam2 protests.

“I’m trying to put it to sleep! Stop moving!” Adam says, slamming the branch down on the head of the lizard clamped onto Adam2’s leg again.

“It hurts! Stop it!”

“No, look! He’s getting tired!”

“He always OW! looks like that!”

“Don’t be a baby.”

“That’s - I said stop it! - what God always OW! says.”

“There, you happy?” Adam says as the eyes of the lizard swirl about and the legs and tail go limp.

“… No. He’s still on my leg!”

“Yeah, he’s really determined. Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll get tired of it soon. Would you like a hurungous?”

The two Adams stroll through the garden, with the first Adam constantly complaining that Adam2 isn’t keeping up with him, though he’s moving a little faster without having to struggle with the lizard. Every now and again, the lizard starts to wake up, but Adam puts it right back to sleep again. Adam tells Adam2 all of the ‘proper names’ of the things they come across, even if he hadn’t decided until just that moment what to call them. Adam2 isn’t awfully glad to be shown around, and has a sneaking suspicion that he’s making this stuff up. Especially when Adam offers things for him to eat that taste really nasty and make his stomach squirm.

“I thought you said it was good to eat!” Adam2 yells heatedly.

“Hey, I thought you would like it! But don’t worry, you don’t have to have anymore. We’ll find something else.”

“I don’t want to try anything else!”

“Hey! I’m your friend! Who keeps putting the lizard asleep for you?”

“I’ll do it myself, thank you. I’m leaving.”

“Hey wait! Seriously… you’ll like how this tastes.”

“Oh yeah? Then why don’t you eat it?”

Adam looks at the thing he randomly picked up. It’s green and slimy and crawls very slowly on his hand. It was easy to come up with a name for this one. Especially when he puts it in his mouth to reassure Adam2. A Bleck. It tastes the way it sounds, and makes Adam want to say its name as he swishes it around in his mouth, not daring to chew it.

He puts on a big grin and says, “mmm…” as he swallows it whole. Then he opens his mouth so Adam2 can see he really did eat it. “See? Honestly!”

Adam2 picks up a Bleck… it sure doesn’t look tasty. Maybe this other Adam just has a really weird sense of taste. He puts it in his mouth and chews on it, and it is without a doubt confirmed. That Adam is crazy.

“Nope… that’s it. I’m going to be on that side of the garden from now on, and if I see you on my side, I’m going to hit you with a sleepstick!”

“But, hey! I really thought it tasted good! Look, I’m SURE you’ll like this! There’s no way you can’t like these!”

Adam2 finds a somewhat small ‘sleepstick’ but enough to make Adam forget about offering the ‘orange’ from one of the trees. Adam sighs, and eats his orange as he goes to find another good place for a sleephole.

Suddenly the sky is ruptured with laughter that makes both Adams run for cover! God has never sounded like this before. It’s like he’s… giggling! And his voice sounds higher too as he speaks,

“Helloooo,” he says. It doesn’t sound like him at all…. “Hey! Are you in there?” Neither Adams dare to move. Then intense clashes of thunder drops them to their knees as they cover their ears. “Isn’t anybody in here? Aaadaaammmm!”

The two Adams look at each other, mouthing the words, ‘Go answer him! No you go answer him! No you do it!’ and so on. The rupturing thunder returns, rending their eardrums into pulp, until Adam finally calls out,

“I’m here!”

The giggling re-ignites and their ears are still sore. Adam walks into the open dolefully.

“There you are! I came in to give you something.”

“You what?”

“I said I got you something! You need some company, huh?”

“Ummm, no, not really.”

“Don’t be silly! I’m sure you’re going to like her. You might even give her a kiss!” God says, the giggling coming back full force. Whatever ‘her’ and ‘kiss’ mean, Adam doesn’t think he likes the new tone that God has taken. When the large red drop falls from the sky, he cowers as though it was a nuclear bomb… not that he knows what that is. It looks like it landed somewhere near the Tree! “Now be a gentleman, lover boy!” God says with more ear-piercing mirth! Slowly, God's painful wails diminish again.

“Hey Adam2,” Adam says.

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Hey, I was here first!”

“All right, so should I start calling you Adam1?!”

“No, that’s stupid. I’m Adam, and your Adam2.”

“All right, Adam1.”

“… Whatever…. Do you want to see what landed?”

“… Ok, but then I’m going to my side of the garden!”

“Ok, ok, let’s go.”

The two of them, once again hiding in the corivars, look into the field that holds the Tree with the forbidden apples, lined with flowers, and lush grass. Then they look into the wide flat open dirt spot where both Adams originated where another puddle forms. It moves about in a spectrum of color, like clear oil on water refracting the sun, but underlying it is a rich red color.

By this time, they can also see that the bear has progressed quite nicely. It has already developed teeth and claws and thick fur… in fact, it looks like it’s ready to come to life, if it isn’t just sleeping now. And to top it off, it looks like Adam2’s lizard friend is starting to wake up again. At least the Adams still have their sleepsticks….
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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:51 am    Post subject:  

LOL! Sleepsticks and Blecks! Love it!

Now that Adam2 seems to have outlived his usefulness (and his friendliness), I think we should both go and discover this 'bear' thing together. Then maybe you could see how it reacts to the sleepstick?

Then when (ahem, of course I mean 'if') it reacts badly, you're bound to be able to outrun poor old Adam2. Let's see how he gets on with Mr. Bear up close and personal :P
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 11:43 am    Post subject:  

you could dare him to go a hit it, while swiftly disappearing to play a game of hide and seek
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 4:07 pm    Post subject:  

Or just hit 2 on the head and leave him near the bear!

Very nice Lebs!
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 3:49 pm    Post subject: Poll for EVE OF DESTRUCTION  

... As Number 7 rounds the corner, he slams into the EVE OF DESTRUCTION poll, and Number 5 takes the lead!...
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:45 pm    Post subject:  

indeed...

voted, and wining
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:01 pm    Post subject: EVE OF DESTRUCTION, Chapter Four  

Chapter Four of EVE OF DESTRUCTION


"We better see how close that bear is to finishing," Adam says.

"It looks finished to me...." Adam2 replies warily.

"Nah, he hasn't grown his second head yet."

"Second head?"

"Yeah, didn't you know they had two heads?" Adam says nonchalantly.

"... Ok, so why do we need to go look at him?"

"What, are you scared?"

"Look, we've already established you're crazy, but I didn't think you were blind too!" '2' exclaims.

"Well, bear is the only thing I know of that can get those things off legs," Adam says pointing cluelessly at the lizard.

"That's ridiculous... How?"

"... The ... hair stuff on it... it's really annoying... so if you just rub that thing against the bear's hair, it will let go and go away."

"I think you're lying."

"Fine, don't believe me. I hope you like dragging that thing around cause you're never getting rid of it.... So just go to your side of the garden. I'm going to find me another bleck."

So Adam walks away, just a few steps, and looks over his shoulder. Adam2 has turned away and hobbling away, and checking over his shoulder too. Adam acts like he just found something, and puts an imaginary bleck in his mouth (and it still tastes nasty). Adam2 keeps going, and he's not heading to the bear. Oh well, it looks like he didn't fall for it.

Adam starts looking for a bigger sleepstick since that Adam2 is becoming really uncooperative. He finds a nice thick one, with sharp little branches pointing off of it in every direction. As Adam laughs to himself, he looks across meadow at the bear, where Adam2 is timidly rubbing the lizard against the bear.

The lizard screeches and lets go, running madly away, passing the dumbstruck Adam as it goes. But Adam stops waiting for a second head to grow on the bear once it wakes up with a horrible roaring groan. He leaves Adam2 to his grisly fate without looking back, running till he dives back into his old sleephole.

A shaking tuft of grass next to a little dirt mound is all that can be seen from above. Underneath, Adam trembles with eyes wide. Images of Adam2, who looks identical to himself, tearing into screaming pieces with God taking pictures and laughing replays in his head ceaselessly. The hole strangles him but it is the only place he's safe!

Hours later, still chattering in his hole, he tempts a little look out of his hole, and though it looks safe, he still doesn't dare lift his head any farther. When he hears the screams, his head drops down again... but only for a moment, before his fearful curiosity has to look to see what it could be. It's a high and loud scream, but its far off.

"It must be the Her!" Adam says to himself, and some strange instinct in him makes him get out of the hole. He runs toward it, but it doesn't take long before it comes screaming toward him. He can tell its kind of like him... a little shorter though, and a few other differences too, but he doesn't have time to consider them. She's so busy looking behind her, she doesn't see him in front of her, and she slams right into him, knocking him down, and tripping her and sending her rolling a few feet.

"A... A!..." Adam tries to talk, but his lungs feel like they've filled with dirt. She knocked the wind out of him, but she's can't seem to find words for the occasion either as she looks at the naked man she just ran into. Naked! 'Where am I?' she asks herself in a panic, then gets up and runs off again.

Adam looks back, trying to see if the bear is chasing her, but he can't see it. Maybe they're slow.... But Adam isn't willing to wait around and find out. He regains his breath as he gets up and hobbles for a little while.

When he gets his breath back, he decides he better make sure the Her is all right. Besides, there's probably a bear coming after him, even if it is moving like a bleck.

The footprints are easy enough to follow, but they look weird. It's like she doesn't have toes, which would explain why they're smaller too. He follows them for a long time, through trees and bushes, and then down the long blue thing that was so pleasant to sit beside before.

Finally, he finds her sitting on the bank of the river with her face leaking. She doesn't sound happy either.

"... Hi," Adam says. She jumps onto her feet and grabs a rock.

"Who are you!?" Eve demands. Adam hides behind a tree.

"I'm Adam! I don't want to hurt you!"

"What is this place? Why are you naked?"

"Huh?"

"Where am I!?"

"Um... the Garden?"

"What garden?"

"I don't know! I just got here!"

"... Wait, your name is Adam?"

"Yeah..."

"And we're in a 'garden'?"

"I think so."

"... This isn't right...."


Adam and Eve have a nice long talk about 'The Garden' which Eve keeps calling Eden, and slowly explaining a whole bunch of stuff to Adam in a patient and encouraging voice, but Adam still finds it annoying to call hurungouses 'bananas' and corivars 'thorn bushes' and such. But he's rather pleased that 'oranges' are still 'oranges'. Then Eve's eyes brighten with a thought.

"So, if we're in the Garden of Eden, then there must be the Tree of Knowledge or something, right?" Eve asks brightly

"... Well, there is that tree with the apples on it..." Adam replies hesitantly.

"I just got an idea, this is going to make things a lot easier."

"Where are you going?"

"Well you're coming with me! But will you please find a fig leaf or something? It's not right!"

"... What's wrong with it?"

"Well, you're not supposed to expose yourself! ... You'll understand when you eat an apple."

"What? We're not supposed to eat those!"

"Why not?"

"Why not?! Because God said so!" Adam says, pointing up at the Black Eye.

"My god, that's God?"

"Yes, and he told me not to eat the apples.... And he can be a real jerk."

"That's not God. God's kind and forgiving and grants miracles...."

"... First of all, I don't understand those words.... Second of all, I don't think he does either!"

"He made us, right?"

"Yeah, I watched him make you."

"You what!?"

"I mean... well... yes...."

"... Well, I guess you are pretty much just a caveman, so I guess I can't blame you."

"Caveman?"

"Where do you sleep?"

"Umm... well, I dig holes when I need to sleep without God doing something to me."

"... Ok, so you haven't evolved to caves yet... you're more of a moleman. Hey, I'm just kidding.... Come on, let's see the tree."

Eve seems to know a lot, but she sure doesn't know the first thing about God. Still, it couldn't hurt just to show her the tree....

"By the way, what happened to the bear?" Adam asks while leading the way back to the tree.

"Did you see it? I just woke up and it was there!"

"... Did you see anyone else there?" Adam asks slyly.

"No, but I didn't exactly introduce myself and stay for a chat."

"Oh... well that's where the tree is."

"Where is the tree?"

"With the bear, last I saw him, and uh..."

"Great, so now we can't go back," Eve says gloomily.

"Why not? Bears aren't fast."

"Are you crazy? They're a lot faster than people."

"Then why didn't it get you?" Adam asks, stopping and hoping for a insightful answer.

"... I don't know... maybe it was tired."

"... That makes sense, he woke up just before you did."

"Do you think it would go back to sleep?"

"I don't see why not," Adam says, thinking he'd like to do the same right that moment.

"... Or maybe it was full...." Eve says offhandedly.

"Full?"

"You know, maybe it already ate before it found me."

"Maybe..."

"I don't know... I think we should try getting the apples," Eve asserts with a fair amount of confidence.

"Yeah, but you haven't met God. I don't think he'll like it if we eat his apples."

"You really don't know anything about Eden, do you? We're supposed to eat the apples! It's just a matter of time. I think we should get it over with. You don't want to stay ignorant, do you?"

"You're saying I won't be an ignorant if I eat an apple?"

"That's right, you'll be as smart as me," Eve says with a big smile.

"I'm already smart. Besides, there's got to be something wrong with them if he doesn't want us to eat them," Adam reasoned. "He could just make more if he wanted to."

"You'll be fine. You'll see."

...
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:13 pm    Post subject:  

Women! Always stirring up trouble! ;)

Another good one Lebs! Is the dp to eat or not?

Well, like Eve said, may as well get it over with!
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:25 pm    Post subject:  

So far I haven't had any trouble with keeping the options completely open. I usually add a suggestion of my own with an extra poll option, even if it's just "Do something else". I'm trying to make it hard to choose an option, but usually someone makes a good suggestion and everyone agrees... so I'm still working on it.

But pretty much, yeah, do you want to endanger your life and get a forbidden apple or convince her that it's a bad idea.

Naturally, what Adam does if he doesn't go after the apples is still in the air. Perhaps he could look into making a shelter or making weapons or traps to take out the bear.

And I'm enjoying Narg, by the way. I haven't caught up yet, but I like what I've read so far. I like its irreverence and boldness! And did anyone ever figure out what you called me?
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