City of IF

[Chinaren]

Chapter 20 – Love and Death part 2...

Synopsis:
The Dark Queen Phang and her Evil Horde have invaded the Silver Lands and taken the Gnomish Capital city Chundyer, forcing the King to flee north to unknown lands. Only an artifact known as the Black Heart has the power to defeat her Dark magics.
Duke Reg and a small party are chasing the Duke’s small sister, who has been abducted by the mysterious Sorrow, his eight headed goose and his wretched sidekick Idea Master, the later cruelly sacrificed by Sorrow to get closer to the Heart.
Phang is also looking for the Heart, and has sent a hideous Demon to search for it. Homer and his party, including witch Stoat fought the demon, but he got away taking the witch back with him to Phang’s lair.
Moving on into a secret mountain lair in search of the Heart, Homer and Shanty met a talking Ass who directed them to choose one of three paths…


Cast (in no particular order):
Evil Homer as ‘The Paladin Hero’
Chainfire as Homer’s sword.
Araex as Homer’s steed.
Shanty as Captain Shanty.
Shady Stoat as The Twisted Witch.
Dragon Fire as The Dragon Guardian.
Kalanna Rai as the Bad Ass.

DukeReg as Oaf Duke Reginald Percival Thunderking Harwobble the Fifth.
Key as the Magical Dignified Chamber Pot.
D-Lotus as the Elven special forces commander
Solomon Birch as a misguided AlbinoDrow.
Random as The Thing.

Sorrow as a mysterious robed figure.
Mother goose as a hydroose
Sunbellina as Duke Reg’s little sister.

Ingrothechundyer as Ingro Chundyer the Gnome King.
Reiso as Gnome Prince Reiso
Cantolope as King of the Fairies
Author as Gnomish Wizard.

Phang as The Dark Mistress
Muaddib as a wheely thing.
Lord of the Night as an Evil Demon Warrior.
Powers That Be as General Powers ‘the perverted.’
Luvd and Mr Moochie as ‘The Ravens’
Dean as the Dean the Head.
Smee as the Smee Slug.
Ethereal Fauna as Ethereal Slug.

The Fallen – Lest we forget..
Jnmrcs as the High Commander
Hyperion as the Mage.
CowofDoom666 as the Cow of Doom
Idea Master as the Wretched minion.


Powers.

Powers led the witch into his tent where she looked around with distain. “So, this is your fabled den of iniquity is it? Pah, seen better in a two year old’s playroom.”

Powers said nothing. He was finding it hard to speak for some reason. His collar felt hot, and he had a nervous tingling in his stomach. “This way witch” he said and pulled Stoat by the arm.

“Let go of me you filthy little man” Stoat shouted, and whacked the General around the head.

Power’s willpower collapsed. “Oh yes mistress, anything you say. Treat me rough! I’ll be a good boy.”

Stoat eyed him uncertainly. “You are a filthy degraded piece of nothing, you know that?”

Powers fell to the floor and grovelled, “Oh yes mistress, that’s it. I am filthy and degraded. You must punish me!”

The witch hesitated. On one hand, this was somewhat… unusual. On the other hand she was more than five hundred years old and hadn’t had any, well, excitement shall we say, for more than four hundred of those years. Not with someone else anyway. She made up her mind. Why not?

“I’ll say you must be punished! And I am the one to do it! Where are your instruments?”

“Over there mistress, next to the whips, nails and pliers.” Powers pointed at a rack containing a variety of tools he used for work and play, the line being a bit blurry with him.

Stoat walked over to the rack but paused halfway there. “Mmmmm,” she said. “What have we here?” She stepped to one side for a moment and examined something. “Yes, yes. This will do. In for a silver, in for a gold I say.” She picked something up and turned around. “Come here you worthless piece of filth!” she commanded.

Powers shivered in ecstasy. “At once your witchness, at once…”

They both smiled…

Muaddib.

Warning: This bit contains disturbing adult imagery! Not for minors, or similar!!

Muaddib moved through the camp, his front wheel squeaking and wobbling where it had bent when the Demon had arrived. He stopped for a moment as a small dog wandered past, but it disappeared from view before he could go and play with it.

Rolling along amongst the troop tents he wandered randomly, stopping here and there to sniff something or to mark his territory, which was not as easy as it used to be, now he had his glowing multi-coloured diapers on. Troops of various kinds walked past him, but none dared interfere with Phang’s toy, so Muaddib had complete freedom.

He rolled past the Slug coral with just the big Green slug in now. It was sliming backwards and forth, seemingly looking for something. He went past the Guards rest tent where a Captain was discussing the need for a replacement.

Finally he arrived at a big black tent. Strange sounds emanated from the flap, and he stuck his head in to investigate. He saw a strange and disturbing sight, even his broken brain recoiled at it.

An old hag, wearing an incredibly tight leather suit, if you could call a garment with more holes in than material a suit, was standing over a bench. Strapped to the bench in a position that certainly didn’t look comfortable was a man. Muaddib couldn’t see who, because the man’s big hairy naked buttocks were facing him. They were glowing red as the ancient S&M dominatrix paddled his behind with a flat round piece of wood.

“You are a bad boy!” Said the woman. <thwack>

“Oh (ouch) yes! I am a bad boy!” said the buttocks owner.

“You must be punished!” <wack!>

<Ow! I must be punished! Harder! Don’t let up! Oh yeah baby! Lay it on!”

The hag moved herself to a different position, close to the buttock man’s other end. “I am dirty, clean me!”

At this point what was left of Muaddib’s mind rebelled and forced his eyes to close and his wheels to back hastily out of the tent. He felt dirty suddenly. He shook his head and went in search of something cleaner to roll in, perhaps some war-elephant dung...

Smee slug.

Smee was beside himself. His one true love had gone, and he wasn’t allowed to follow. Images of the long lost meadow flashed into his head, and deep feelings were stirring in his green heart.

To love and to have that love taken from him! Was to love and have lost better than to have never loved? Smee’s slug brain thought not. He would have wept had he the proper parts for it. Instead he moved back and forth, look out over the coral fence, trying to get a glimpse of his beloved brown sweetheart.

Finally, just as he was about to give up in despair he saw her! Fauna-slug was sliming along seemingly happily with Phang! Phang was talking animatedly, swinging a detached head about as she did so, pointing this way and that as she walked. Fauna slimed along nodding and wiggling her eyestalks. Never once did she cast them towards Smee, even though she must have known he was watching.

Inside Smee’s green squishy body his heart stopped, frozen, turned to stone. Betrayed!! Despair turned to hurt. Hurt turned to pain. Pain turned to rage! Smee’s body trembled and shook. He would have revenge!

Stoat.

The witch took a deep drag of a long thin cigarette and then passed it to the panting form of the General. The black silk covers of the large bed lay in disarray and their outfits lay in discarded heaps upon the floor.

“I must admit General, your reputation, disgusting as it is, doesn’t do you justice.”

“Thank-you my foul and twisted witch, that means a lot coming from you.” He passed the smoke back to Stoat and then started as someone called from the entrance.

“General! The High Queen wishes to see you and the prisoner in her command tent!”

“Damn!” said Powers leaping out of bed and trying to find his pants. “We had better go!”

“To my doom General?” asked Stoat standing up and picking up various articles of clothing.

Powers turned to her. “I will do my best to protect you. You must know that. I may be a depraved and evil General who has tortured and killed thousands, but I am just doing my job. I am not a bad man once you get to know me.”

Stoat said nothing, but put on her robes…

Phang.

Phang paced back and forth in her command tent. Lord of the Night, in human form, leaned against a table with his arms crossed. Dean the head, who was hanging from his nail out of Muaddib’s reach was amusing himself my taunting the wheelie thing from his safe perch and Fauna slug was standing by the wall, trying not to slime excessively.

Two Drow guards stood to attention by the entrance flap. They saluted as it was drawn back and General Powers entered, followed by the witch Stoat.

Phang whirled around. “Took you long enough General!”

Powers bowed, “My apologies Great Queen. The witch is more er, resilient than she looks.”

“What have you learnt?” Phang walked up to Stoat and looked at her through narrow eyes, as if puzzled by something.

“Ahh, very little so far my wondrous Queen of the Damned” said Powers carefully.

Phang appeared not to hear, but squinted closely at Stoat. “Mmm.” She said, and walked back a little way to stand next to Fauna. “What do you think my new slimy friend? What shall we do about this situation?”

Whatever Fauna’s ideas, she never got to express them. A commotion could be heard outside. Everyone’s head turned as the flap burst forth and an enraged giant green slug burst through, enveloping and sliming over one of the guards. The other was batted sideways by the bulk of Smee’s body.

“What’s this!!?” exclaimed Phang. “My little Sluggles, what are you doing?”

Smee didn’t answer, not really being able to, but swarmed forward towards Phang, range evident on his face.

Phang jumped back in alarm as he rushed her. She raised her hand and spoke Words pointing her finger to release a red plume of power.

“MMMMMMMOOOOOO!” came the muffled shout of Fauna and leapt, well slimed very quickly, between Smee and Phang intercepting the red energy. An explosion erupted in the tent, knocking Dean from is peg to land on Muaddib. Fauna landed hard on the floor, slime leaking from a wound in her side. Smee rushed over to her.

Stoat, seeing everyone distracted started a mantra as quietly as possible, but Phang heard her and quickly threw a bolt of power at the witch. Stoat threw her hands up and the bolt bounced off her, glancing off Powers who was thrown back into the tent wall, and hitting the unfortunate Fauna once again, causing her to explode in a mass of brown goo and slime.

The tent started to collapse, and Phang was caught under its folds. Stoat quickly started her transportation spell again, but stopped suddenly and looked down. Protruding from her mid-rift was a giant claw covered in her blood. Behind her Lord of the Night chuckled slowly and withdrew his talon. “You don’t escape so easily witch.” he whispered in a low voice, “and this way your knowledge is kept from Phang.”

Muaddib grabbed Dean by the hair and quickly wheeled out of the tent with him, Dean shouting abuse at him all the while.

Phang had fought her way from the tent by the simple expedient of blasting it away with an energy spell. The tent started to smolder. Smee, covered in bits of Fauna, saw her and launched himself forward again, but Phang was ready now and merely waved her hand in his direction. The slug found himself frozen in place, unable to do anything but watch the woman who had killed his love with eyes unable to cry.

Powers stood up holding his side, his armor there burnt away. Stoat was standing still, swaying. Phang rushed over. “Witch! You shall not die! I want your information!”

Stoat, trying her best to hold her intestines in, turned to Powers and gave him a shallow smile. “It was not to be General.” She said in a weak voice. The General said nothing, but nodded.

Stoat turned to Phang. “and you, little, ahh, upstart. You shall not have me or my body. Know this, you shall not hold the Black Heart, not whilst I have THE POWER!” her voice rose and there was a blinding white flash of light. For a moment everyone stood still, and then the witch’s robes fell to the floor.

Lord stooped and picked them up. “Empty.” He said.

Phang scowled in anger. “Damn and blast!” She turned to Powers. “You! Get out of here and start preparing the army! I want out of this damn midget town and out on campaign again, we have been here too long, Humans or Elves, make a choice, I don’t care.”

Powers nodded and stumbled out of the now burning tent, happy to escape with his life.

Phang rounded on Lord of the Night. “And you, get your black demon ass back to where you came. You haven’t finished your mission yet!”

Lord stood for a moment, as if wondering whether to argue or not. He decided now was not the time and disappeared in a swirl of black mist with no further word.

Phang looked around, saw Dean and Muaddib were gone and cursed. Then she turned towards the still immobile Smee. “As for you my traitorous beast. I could have killed you so easily, but that would be too kind. However, I see I will have to keep you further under control, at least until,” she chucked and brought her mouth up close to Smee’s hearing hole, “at least until….” (whisper whisper).

Smees eyes widened as Phang threw her head back and laughed, a sound of pure evil joy, which echoed around the city and caused a cold wind to blow through the citizens.

Phang survived, and people would pay. Things were going to get ugly.


>>>>>>>

So, there ye go readers. Lord’s, Smee’s and Stoat’s bids have run their course all in one section, with tragedy the outcome!

Decision point then.
Phang has told Powers to get the army moving again, but where? There is still a fairly large Gnome army to the south, though the Horde probably has enough men now to garrison the city and repulse them if they decide to attack. Still, maybe he should he deal with them first? Perhaps it is time to head west to the humans, or the Elves or maybe even north after King Chundyer?

What do you think?

<<<<<<<


[/i]

[Shady Stoat]

Bids admirably fulfilled, Chinaren. And I've just got to say...

chinaren wrote: On the other hand she was more than five hundred years old and hadn’t had any, well, excitement shall we say, for more than four hundred of those years. Not with someone else anyway.

LOL! (and actually, it's only 350 years) ;)

I'd say Powers has to go for the humans next. They're divided and, as yet, undecided as to which side they're on. It'll take a bit of work, but I'm sure Phang can take the human kingdoms before they rally. :)

[Smee]

:D Very good chapter, and well fitted in.

*sigh* What more could a slug have done I guess.

*Looks up amount to pay*


Going for the humans seems the only real plan - if they go for the elves they'd have the humans at their back - not a good plan if they suddenly rally.

Happy Writing. :)

*cries about dead Fauna slug and Twisty stoat*

[Chinaren]

Well, I must admit, Stoat's 'death' was heavily borrowed from the original Star Wars and Obe One Kanobees* passing. Hehe.

Sorry about Fauna, but there will be a compensation, oh yes. Mwahahahaha! :lol:


*However you spell that.

[Solomon Birch]

chinaren wrote: Well, I must admit, Stoat's 'death' was heavily borrowed from the original Star Wars and Obe One Kanobees* passing. Hehe.

I thought there was ;)

Great chapter China! Killed lot's of people! :-D

I think that Powers should finish off the Gnomes before going anywhere else. Even though that army probably poses less of a threat than the Humans, they could become quite annoying if not dealt with (severely, I hope)!

And I've finally decided to bid! :biggrin:

[LordoftheNight]

i got to kill someone - i'm happy

sorry twisty

[Shady Stoat]

*grins* It was a good way to go :)

[ethereal_fauna]

Ack! I'm brown slimy goo now. :cry2: My Smee-slug is left all alone.

Great chapter, very twisted. Dealing with the humans seems most prudent at this point.

[D-Lotus]

Yes, lets take the humans...they'll fall like...like...stones.... :?

[Key]

Finish the gnomes first - you don't want another army coming up behind you while you're starting the fight with the humans.

[Shady Stoat]

Key wrote: Finish the gnomes first - you don't want another army coming up behind you while you're starting the fight with the humans.

That was my first choice too... but I thought Phang, in her current mood, might not be too pleased with Powers unless he made a bold move of some sort. Killing yet more gnomes is a risky strategy for someone working for a Queen with the attention span of a giant kitty. He's a survivor - he'd know how to best ensure his own retention of command.

Then again, if we're deciding what's best for the army to do, instead of the general, I'd say go for the gnomes. We don't want to leave little remnants of armies here and there that can band together and make our lives hell in the future.

It all depends on which viewpoint you want us to take this from Chinny :)

[Chinaren]

Quote: It all depends on which viewpoint you want us to take this from Chinny

Oh, I just sit and watch whilst you guys come up with all the good ideas. Then I leech those... ;)

[Key]

Shady Stoat wrote: Key wrote: Finish the gnomes first - you don't want another army coming up behind you while you're starting the fight with the humans.
That was my first choice too... but I thought Phang, in her current mood, might not be too pleased with Powers unless he made a bold move of some sort. Killing yet more gnomes is a risky strategy for someone working for a Queen with the attention span of a giant kitty. He's a survivor - he'd know how to best ensure his own retention of command.
Hmm...interesting point. Well, if we're trying to keep the Queen amused, the best course might be to go after the gnome king. She seems to enjoy "playing" with the (ex-)rulers of nations.

[Shady Stoat]

Yep, that makes sense. Give Phang a new toy :cool:

[Chinaren]

Shady Stoat wrote: Yep, that makes sense. Give Phang a new toy :cool:

LOL!

Okay, I am going to put a poll up.

[LordoftheNight]

get the king - i want another death

[Smee]

Voted for attacking the humans before they can rally.

The gnomes are scattered, and the elves hiding in their forests (rather smugly I might add ;) ) - if we waste much more time mopping up the gnomes even the humans will notice that war is on their doorstep and might organise an army.

Sweep in there quick and show them no mercy.

Happy Writing. :)

[D-Lotus]

Yes, that's what I voted for. The gnomes are pretty much without spirit or hope...or pay! Who's gonna feed all those soldiers!

[jess1561]

I'm waiting eagerly for the next chapter... :hm:

[Chinaren]

I am working up to it! :D These days I have to take a run-up to writing GvEvM, it's become so tangled and complicated.

Still, never fear it will come along soon, soon.

12 votes! And 13votes! Wooo! Thank-you all for voting, I will get my thinking hat* on.

*As opposed to my Star-trek hat.

[Kalanna Rai]

Voted for the elves. Most elves are pansies I mean come on...maybe one in every twenty thousand is a Legolas...the rest are just...elves...

[Solomon Birch]

Voted to take out the Humans.

The Gnomes don't pose much of a threat anymore and can be easily dealt with later, so attacking the Humans before they can organise resistance is probably the best idea.

That would leave you free to destroy the elves and mop up the remaining Gnomes! Evil WILL prevail! Muwahahahahaha! :x :lol: :-x

[Dean]

Oooooh! My apologies: I had completely forgotten about this storygame. I just read all the new chapters since I last read Good Vs Evil Vs Money oh so long ago. All I have to say is, "Wow!" This storygame's plot-line is absolutely intriguing. :)

And I'm a head! That's awesome, man. But what is wheelie-Muaddib gonna do to me? Waaaaa! If I die, can I pay to come back as Dean the Ghost?

Anyways, I voted to focus on killing the Gnomes. However, my vote tied up the poll, so someone has to break the tie now.

[Chinaren]

Hehe. Welcome back Mr. Head!

I still have my vote, incase of a tie-breaker, but I have to do the one following on from the last chapter first.

And you can pay for pretty much anything here. I have a long list already that is giving me headaches! :?

[The Powers That Be]

It's uncanny. It's like you can look right into my soul. Tell me, Chinaren, how do you, without ever having met me, understand me so well?

[Chinaren]

Heh heh. It's a knack! :D

Glad to see you around Powers! When are you going to do another Dear Dotty eh? :?

[Smee]

:clap: Powers is back.


:poke: Now don't disappear again.

[Chinaren]

Chapter 21 is up!!

[Chinaren]

Okay, voting closed.

It was dead close, 8 votes to humans, 8 to clean up the Gnomes and 2 to go after the Elves. I tilted it to the humans with my tie-breaker, but Phang will probably clean up the Gnomes along the way.

So, chapter 22 is now up and this thread is locked!

Thank-you all for participating. :D