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Virtual Chapter 14: Prototype
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sparta12



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 3:30 pm    Post subject: Virtual Chapter 14: Prototype  

Virtual

Chapter 14: Prototype

Summary: Previously The Freedom was ambushed by 3 Boragnian ships that wanted to kill them and the Firebase/Shipyard. At the last moment however the Chimera and her fleet (which the Freedom has been trying to find for a while) jumped into their sector and destroyed the Boragnians. Now the fleet are making repairs to damaged ships including the Fire Base and are awaiting another wave of enemy Boragnians.

The security team and the maintenance officer that had been trapped in a room for the last half-hour walked down the hall, relieved but cautious of all the dead Boraganians that lay about them. They were being escorted by the US Marine fireteam and the small security group down the hall. All three teams were relieved that nothing was left in the sector with the exception of them. Two marines helped sinper -who was now regaining conciousness- to the other end of the corridor. For all the men walking out of the sector it was like leaving a nightmare which as it turned out was not over yet because just as the men left the sector the deck shook like a house inside the middle of a Kansas tornado.

The crew was split up on Deck B the senior crew members were fighting among those who were accusing the new crew members of turning their admiral into the Military Police. Meanwhile the new members were trying to either avoid the accusations of turning the schizophrenic admiral into the MPs or just trying to hide from the vicous senior crew members. It wasn't long until a group of Senior Crew Members ambushed one of the junior crew members and beat them half to death. Pounding their faces again and, again, breaking their bones and twisting their limbs and bashing their bodies. Maniacal laughter could be heard from some of the angry crew members. Within minutes of the first ambush Captain Fergerson had dispatched Security Guards into the area wearing full riot gear but the crowd of angry Senior Sailors began to grow and became harder to control. More and more guards were being sent into the area to reinforce.

'Tell the security guards to use the stunners,' Captain Fergerson whispered to the Chief Of Security Lieutenant Commander Parah who stood next to him as they stood in front of a wall of monitors that were hooked up to cameras on Deck B. Captain Fergerson was furious at about this rioting -especially its timing- but he was glad that it was an isolated incident. What had concerned him the most were the rioters spreading onto his deck and taking control of the entire cruiser which seemed likely given the reason of the riot.
'Are the marines on standby?'
'Yes sir they're geared up and ready to move in on your command,' the marine commander Colonel Dereks answered standing on the otherside of the navy captain. The captain also had concerns other than this isolated riot which was the possibility of Boragnian forces coming to begin a second wave of ships on their fleet and if that happened while the forward base/shipyard was being repaired. Though with the assistance of the fleet the repairs would be finished in half the normal time it would take one ships crew to repair a spacecraft. Fergerson kept his eyes on the monitors to find the security guards pulling out small pistol like weapons, firing them into crowds and watching as one by one the rioters fell to the floor paralyzed but twitching as they lay there. He also saw the heavily armoured security guards throwing small grenades into the clusters of crowds, then pulling up their shields to avoid the shockwave that rendered the people inside the blast-radius unconcious. The captain walked over to a separate monitor and pressed the reverse button on the screen but then pressed pause as soon as he saw the man who threw the first punch.
'I want security to find this guy and then I want him to be brought up to the medical bay. Make sure he's unconcious and tell the docs to scan him for anything that could make this man to do this!' Captain Fergerson ordered. A Lieutenant Junior Grade officer standing near the captain responded by running over to the communications room and getting onto the med bay. The Chief Of Security followed the ensign but unlike the low ranking officer he strode calmly over to the comm room and started talking to the security officers on Deck B.



'All pilots from Phoenix Squadron report status over,' Jack ordered as he drifted close to the friendly ships that belonged to the Flagship Chimera. For once in a long time he was sitting in his cockpit nervous about the encounter they had just experienced.
'This is Red Baron all systems nominal over.' Technical Sergeant Barrels reported
'This is Mercury I have lost my rudder and am having trouble keeping this bird in formation over.' Flight Sergeant Vowels reported
'This is Ace I have lost some control but this bird should hold over.' Lieutenant Johnson reported
The pilots continued to report their status and once they were done the captain told the squadron pilots whos' ships were damaged to get them repaired by mobile repair ships that were being deployed by most of the Fleet Cruisers, warships and the Flagship itself. The repair ships would attach themselves to the fighters and then using the computer they would get the mechanical arms in its weapons bay to repair the ship by pouring a liquid over the damaged areas such as the holes in Jacks' right wing on the hole in the side of his fighter. Doing this would also stabilise the fighter so the ship wouldn't bank automatically to the left or to the right and would also prevent the fighter from stalling. Once this was done Jack headed out to the perimeter that had been set up by the unharmed fighters in his squadron.
'I got a report from the Freedom while my fighter was being repaired. Some of the crew members on board have started rioting because Admiral Magnus had been court martialled,' the captain informed his comrades. The fact that a riot had broken out and that the Admiral had been court-martialled
'What! When?' Mark Vowels yelled shocked
'Apparently Admiral Magnus is being court-martialled because of what happened at Traders Haven and because he is a Schizophrenic,' the captain said calmly
'oh my god...' Anne Johnson whispered over the radio
'The riot seems to be lessoning though which is good because it broke out a deck below- oh fuck incoming missile Ace get out of the way!' Jack screamed and the Technical Sergeant pulled the lever for the throttle to full power... Too late the missile slammed into the back of the fighter where the engine was and destroyed the fighter instantly. Silence. It all came too suddenly for the pilots and all their reactions were delayed until Jack screamed over the fleet channel
'Man down, man down! I am reading contacts two to four Destroyer Class ships heading in our direction, we are heading back to defensive positions!' Jack screamed as he read the contact information on his radar screen while he hit the afterburners on the panel around the radar.
'All ships concentrate fire on Destroyer call sign designated Theta, fighters concentrate on nuclear warheads and bombers!' Fleet Admiral Prime yelled out over the radio from his defiant flagship.


Senior Sailor Jarxan was dragged into the med bay unconcious and being held by two armed security guards who were holding him by his wrists. A few doctors lead the two security guards along with the sailor into a small room where lay a metal bed and above it was a small sphere that was connected to the roof by an extending mechanical arm. They lay him on the bed and one doctor walked onto a tall platform where a holo-computer was attached to a small table. The doctor activated the sphere which reached down until it was two feet above the patient and then shot lasers into its body
'what the!' one of the security guards said surprised until he saw a hologram of the patients body appear on the screen. Statistics folloed:
Diseases, Illnesses etc:
Lung Cancer (large quantity of tar found in lungs)
Asthma

the doctor looked at the results and found something under the Abnormality list:
Lump found on Andrenalin Gland. Advise further investigation.

The doctor zoomed in on the screen and stared at the Adrenalin gland but the screen wasn't big enough to see anything as of yet so the doctor zoomed in closer but still nothing. He zoomed in more and then found something. It was a lump and on an Adrenalin Gland but he knew what it was. He would recognise the shape anywhere in the human anatomy and this lump was a tumor. A tumor on an Adrenalin gland would mean that the patient would feel sudden bursts of energy coming out in both positive and negative ways so the doctor concluded not only for the sailors health but also so he wouldn't get arrested that the sailor had attacked the new crew members because he had a burst of adrenalin due to his tumor. However this medical discovery would also send this sailor back to Earth. Or the remains of it.


Admiral Prime looked through the screen on the bridge, looking into the distance where he saw four agressive destroyer class ships ready to pulverise and blow the entire 7th Fleet into oblivion. He turned to his second in command
'Open up the Zeta Rail Cannon before they get within nuclear projectile range.' He ordered and his second in command went bug-eyed
'But we haven't tested it yet sir!' Admiral Reller protested
'Then here's our chance.' Prime answered, turning to his 2IC with a grin on his face.
The flagship and its fleet stood their ground with their weapons firing away at the advancing forces while the fighters awaited the incoming Boragnians but kept their eyes open for the nuclear warheads that would be sent of course they were also struggling to keep concentrated with the enemy fighters launching their missiles and rockets at them. Within seconds most of the pilots had deployed all of their counter measures and within minutes squadrons were loosing their formations as the Boragnians engaged the pilots.
'Nuke at eleven o' clock!'
'Nuke at one o' clock!'
'Nuke at three o' clock high!'
'Nuke at twelve o'clock low!'
The radio was roaring to life with these transmission and just as Jack destroyed one nuclear warhead with the last five rounds from his fighter he noticed that below the bridge of the flagship the defiant spacecraft was opening up like a book but inside instead of paper with words in neat printing inside was a large barrel that had a green light around it. Jack knew what it was The Zeta Rail Cannon, Prototype Mark I. and he smiled as the light grew into a large fluorescent glow it became the last seconds before it would fire. The large barrel slid back into its chamber as a large, blinding green beam soared across the dark space and slammed into the destroyer designated Theta. The destroyer suddenly turned black but a green light surrounded the ship and in a few seconds the deadly destroyer evaporated as though it never existed but instead of dead silence coming from the humans it was nothing but defeaning cheers all over the radio channels. The flagship turned to the next destroyer, powering up its large rail cannon but the destroyers knowing their defeat turned around and started engaging their hyperspace drives but just as one destroyer powered up The Zeta Rail Cannon open fired. It too evaporated into nothing like its comrades and the Boragnian Fighters were now retreating but some of the marine pilots along with naval pilots were not letting them get away so the battle was over. Two destroyers gone within seconds and over the Squadron Channels a chant started.
'Hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah!'


Fleet Admiral Prime chuckled to himself as he listened to the Squadron channels on the radio. He was victorious and was glad as hell that the Zeta Rail Cannon didn't fail.
'Flagship Chimera come in this is the Allied Advance Command please respond over,' Admiral Reller stood behind him holding a powerful communications radio
'This is the Flagship Chimera over,' The fleet admiral responded still holding his grin
'Roger that. We have good news Chimera. We have now pushed the Boragnians back to their Homeworld and we require all Fleets in the entire navy to make the jump to Sector Z Eight in the Draconus-Zeta System over!' the operator said with a cheery voice. This was it. The end of this war that had been spanning for the past 30 years was almost over and they could go home but even the lowest level officer could tell that it wasn't going to be won without casualties.
To Be Continued...
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sparta12



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:49 pm    Post subject:  

Where is everyone?
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 10:40 pm    Post subject:  

Sorry Sparta - I spotted this yesterday morning, but then it wasn't on my all new posts list when I got to work and forgot about it.

brb after reading it. :)
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:21 am    Post subject:  

Sparta,

The plot continues as interesting as ever - the new railgun particularly good.

However...

I don't know if you were tired or in a rush, but this chapter had ALOT of errors in it. Many awkward sentences, missing words, repetition and typos. Not your usual standard at all :(

I suggest having a good read through and a heavy editting session. If you're struggling let me know and I'll try to help.

Happy Writing. :)
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ethereal_fauna



Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 2567
Location: USA

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:30 am    Post subject:  

I'm a bit behind on reading, but wanted to dash off a quick note to let you know this chapter is on my list. I'll be back soon with a proper comment. :)
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sparta12



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:21 pm    Post subject:  

Smee wrote: Sparta,

The plot continues as interesting as ever - the new railgun particularly good.

However...

I don't know if you were tired or in a rush, but this chapter had ALOT of errors in it. Many awkward sentences, missing words, repetition and typos. Not your usual standard at all :(

I suggest having a good read through and a heavy editting session. If you're struggling let me know and I'll try to help.

Happy Writing. :)

I'll start editing it now.
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sparta12



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:02 pm    Post subject:  

Done editing (I hope this read will be a better one) and I have added on an extra paragraph.
Im gonna put up a poll now, it's going to be a simple one but I'll make the next one with more interesting options.
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:38 pm    Post subject:  

Much better :D

Quote: All three twams were relieved

Quote: He also saw the heavily armoured security guards throwing small grenades into the clusters of crowds then pulling up their shields to avoid the shockwave that rendered the people inside the blast-radius unconcious. The guards however would just be rocked backwards seeing that the plastic-like-shields protected them from the laser-like-shockwave.

You're telling us about the shields twice, it's long and sounds awkward.

He saw the heavily armoured security guards throwing small grenades into the crowds. As the rebels were knocked unconscious, plastic-like-shields rose over the guards, protecting them from the laser-like-shockwave.

Much, much better though - good to see more like the Sparta of old.

He's not going to let the war fail now. He'll wait for repairs and then go give them hell. It's not like they could invent a defence to the new railgun in the time it takes to do the repairs.

Happy Writing :)
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sparta12



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 5:16 pm    Post subject:  

I think the reason why I screwed up there is because whenever I write stories I write them during the night. I dunno i just feel more comfortable doing it then so maybe fatigue was getting to me or something.
Thanks for your help Smee
Cheers


Also seeing that I am on school holidays due to the Commonwealth Games i want to write as many chapters as possible. Preferably more than two but it all depends on the readers voting! So get voting my faithful readers!
Oh and comment too. Almost forgot about my forum section rule :lol:
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sparta12



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:29 am    Post subject:  

wow here's a first. Chinaren voted in the polls here on my story. No offence but that is really unexpected but thanks Chinaren.

Also sorry for posting several times in a row! :lol:
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ethereal_fauna



Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 2567
Location: USA

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:39 am    Post subject:  

I agree…wait for the major repairs and then go in. On the verge of victory, and should avoid taking everything to the brink of disaster by leaving before sufficient repairs are effected.

He definitely won’t sit this one out either. This could be the final battle, the killing blow that wins the war. After coming this far and surviving so much, this fleet needs to see the whole thing through.
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:58 am    Post subject:  

Quote: Also seeing that I am on school holidays due to the Commonwealth Games

It'd be good to see you around some of the other stories too. :)

One that might interest you (awesome futuristic story with spaceships) is Soily's linear : Ruthless

A very, very good story. :D
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sparta12



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 1:33 pm    Post subject:  

Okay I'll take a look at it, thanks for your votes Smee and Ethereal.
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sparta12



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 10:51 pm    Post subject:  

snuh
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