City of IF

[Masterweaver]

I seriously think that James is the more logical type, with the exception of her belief in the unreal. She would take the safer path.

[Geek_girl72]

School is turning out better than I thougth at first, I might get the third chapter up fairly soon.

[DukeReg]

Well I seem to have missed the poll, but I get the idea that Justin is from outside the city as well.

I agree it seems odd to surprise someone from below them on a staircase. Unless he has no intention of fighting them, and intends to go downstairs as fast as possible while they go up after James.

[Masterweaver]

Oh! Good Idea!

Make Justin the villian! Great plot twist!

[DukeReg]

Masterweaver wrote: Oh! Good Idea!

Make Justin the villian! Great plot twist!

I think their relationship is too chance-based and unimportant for him to count as the villain to her hero. But something about the way he is written makes me think he would be quite capable of using her as a decoy (not thinking she would come to any real harm) while he escaped.

I guess we'll have to wait and see if this is the Justin surprise we were supposed to see coming...

[Geek_girl72]

Justin is a sort os experiement for me as a writer. I'm not yet sure I can pull off his character, which is a little motre complex than anything I've tried yet. I'll just have to take the leap and see what happens ;)

[Masterweaver]

If I asked if this thread was dead, would I regret it?

[Geek_girl72]

It's only been a week, and I'm almost finished with the next chapter, so yes. ;)

[Geek_girl72]

Chapter Three: An Error in Judgment


James looked into Justin’s face. Could this be a trick? Was he planning to simply use her as a decoy? She thought about the way she had stumbled across him by pure chance. There was no real reason to think she knew anything about his character or motives. Still, there was something about this man, and this day, that was working a change in her. Something inside her had woken up and was fighting to compensate for lost time. She lifted her chin slightly and looked Justin straight in the eye.

“Alright.”

Justin paused for a moment and looked hard at her. He glanced at the door bemoaning its agony and back at James. A wry grin crossed his face.

“Good. For a second there I thought you were going to flake out on me. They’re almost through so I’ve got to hide myself. It’ll get a bit close but don’t worry; I know what I’m doing.”

Justin flashed a final, perfect smile, and left James standing on the stair landing. The click of the door latching shook her Nerve more than the pounding below; and whatever feeling had taken hold of her a second before fled. She tried to move, but her feet seemed rooted to the spot.

“Come on James, you’re no coward. You can do this.”

James said out loud. She started to reflect on her weird habit of talking to herself when no one was around, and dropping into reflective states at inopportune moments, but a terrific crash snapped her out of it. The remnants of the door flung open and smashed against the wall, revealing the quiet-looking man and his gargantuan companion. James barely glanced at their faces before her feet unfroze and she bolted up the stairs for all she was worth. She could hear them pounding after her, especially the big man, whose footsteps echoed like thunder in the narrow stairwell. Suddenly, an odd buzzing noise sounded behind them, and what James could only describe as a blueish ball of electricity whizzed past her head and hit the wall in front of her. The whole building seemed to shudder, throwing James off balance and slamming her shoulder hard into the railing. Shaken, and astonished that her pursuers had stopped, she picked herself up and faced back down the stairway. The two men were standing with their backs to her and facing Justin, who was pointing an odd contraption at the both of them. It seemed to be some sort of weird gun unlike anything James had ever seen. Sparks were fluttering to the ground out of the barrel, and a low hum emanated from it. Justin stood on the landing with this weapon raised at his two enemies. The Big man let something like a growl escape his lips, and moved as if about to do something desperate. The shorter man put a restraining hand on his shoulder and spoke in a calm, quiet voice.

“Stand back Fenris, keep your head. It would be best to put that thing down Grey, you might hurt someone.”

Justin glowered at the man and took a step forward.

“Spare me the bravado Seth Martel, and keep a leash on your pet there or I won’t be responsible for my actions. Now stand aside and let the lady pass.”

Justin spoke his adversary’s name like an insult. Seth seemed unfazed by it though and complied, motioning for Fenris to do likewise. Passing by those two was perhaps the worst part of that day for James. Fenris did growl at her as she passed, she was certain of it. When she passed by Seth, he shook his head slightly. Upon reaching Justin, he took hold of her arm and pulled her behind him protectively.

“Don’t worry, the worst is over now.”

Seth scoffed.

“She was a willing part of this? Don’t tell me you’ve found a friend already?”

“I have a way with people.”

Seth let his shoulders slump at Justin’s words and looked at James while he continued speaking.

“I don’t suppose you’ll be reasonable about this? If we could come to some sort of arrangement…”

“No deals Martel. I’m finishing what I started.”

Justin took another step and cocked his gun. James watched in alarm and rushed forward.

“Justin, what are you doing?”

“Something I should have a long time ago.”

“But you can turn them over to the police now, you can’t call it self defense if you kill them.”

Justin looked at her and sighed.

“I don’t expect you to understand James, but I know what I’m do-”

He never got to finish reassuring his newfound companion. In the split second he wasn’t watching the captives, Seth leaped of the stairs and dove at Justin, bringing him to the ground with a crash and knocking the gun out of his hand. James was too startled to see where the gun landed, but knew the only hope of getting herself and her friend out of this was to get back into the hospital and sound the alarm. Surprised at her own lack of fear in the present situation, she turned and made a mad dash down the stairwell, only half hearing Seth call out:

“Fenris! After Her!”

That was all the giant needed to hear. He leaped over the side of the railing, landing dramatically feet first between James and the door. Before she could skid to a halt, her momentum carried her sailing into the brute. The collision made her feet slip out from under her and she fell down hard into a sitting position at the man’s feet. Still trying desperately to back away, she glanced upwards into Fenris’ face and froze. The face looking back at her wasn’t that of a man, or even a human being. Large black pupils filled with a red gleam rested in a face covered in thick fur-like hair. An elongated, canine nose overshadowed a mouth baring its enormous and gleaming teeth in a snarl. The monster took a step towards James and spoke in a low, gravely voice as inhuman as his face.

“I wouldn’t scream if I were you”

James would have complied even if her voice hadn’t temporarily left her. A low buzzing noise sounded behind them and Fenris looked sharply back up the stairs. His wolfish mouth parted in surprise, but he wasn’t quick enough to react before a second one sounded and a blue shockwave swept over his whole person. He gave a strangled cry, and tumbled to the ground, convulsing horribly. James didn’t move or take her eyes off of the spectacle for a long time. When she finally regained her motor skills, she turned her head slowly and saw Justin standing behind her, weapon in hand and Seth likewise twitching at his feet. Justin thrust the gun into his pocket and breathed deeply. James very slowly picked herself up off the floor, leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes. She heard Justin shift his feet, and opened her eyes again. He smiled reassuringly.

“Don’t worry, the shot isn’t lethal.”

James ordered herself not to shake, and spoke in an admirably calm voice.

“Than you never planned to…”

“No. I never was going to kill them. I just didn’t want to get the police involved.”

“Why not?”

“Their names would mean nothing to the police. That makes things difficult sometimes, but luckily I have the same privilege.”

“You mean the three of you have no record?”

Justin chuckled, and leaned against the railing with his arms crossed.

“More than that. None of us exist in the legal sense of the word here. Like I said it has its drawbacks, but it has its advantages too.”

James had no idea what he was talking about, but Justin acted like she should, so she kept her mouth shut and listened, hoping to pick up on whatever she had missed. Justin continued his speech with the air of one giving a lecture.

“I’m practically invisible here. I can do basically anything and not suffer the consequences. For instance, when I do this…”

Justin raised his weapon in a casual manner, and without changing the expression on his face shot James dead in the chest. A sharp pain almost equaled by her shock rippled through her. Her whole body shook uncontrollably as the world went blurry and she struggled to breath. She collapsed on the ground, gasping and completely bewildered. Justin strolled over to her helpless form and leaned over her, continuing his explanation with the same unfazed, casual demeanor.

“When I do this, there will be no repercussions. When you disappear, and the police line up all the usual suspects, ‘Justin Grey’ won’t be one of them. Even if they do look for me, I won’t be found. By that time I’ll be long gone. Eventually they’ll give up and stop looking for you, it happens all the time when there’s no evidence, no trace left. I do owe you for distracting our unusual friend here though, if he hadn’t been going after you I never would have gotten Seth off me.”

He flashed another one of his winning smiles at her, and just before James sank into oblivion she heard one last sentence:

“Like I said before, ‘thanks’ doesn’t even cover it.”





James slowly opened her eyes and blinked in the light of the afternoon sun. It seemed concentrated on the spot where she stood, with all of Haven spread out before her. She glanced around to take stock of where she was. With astonishment she realized she was back on her hill. After a moment of confusion, it dawned on her that she was dreaming. She wasn’t really here, although she’d always thought that you didn’t dream when you passed out. It was a vivid dream; the Walls frowned down at her just like they did in the waking world. But for some reason James found them more interesting in her unconscious state, something was happening to them that she didn’t understand at first.

Even though she knew it was only a dream, her heart gave a leap when she realized what was happening to the Walls: They were falling. Silently, the great Walls were collapsing in on themselves, sending a noiseless tremor through the whole city and throwing tremendous amounts of dust into the air. The buildings near the edge of Haven where obscured, and James thought she could make out the forms of people fleeing in terror from the great cloud. The clamor stopped, and James’ heart nearly did with it. She stood on her hill in the middle of the city as the cloud gradually began to clear…





“Shhh! I think I hear something.”

It was clearly Seth’s voice that James heard, but when she opened her eyes she could see nothing. Perfect blackness greeted her sight, and she was agonizingly cold. She tried to turn her head, but found she couldn’t. Her arms and legs also refused to obey her wishes. Even when she tried to speak, an unintelligible gurgling was the only product of her efforts. She couldn’t move, speak or see anything. As the realization of her perfect helplessness sunk in a dull panic welled up in her. Her breathing, which thankfully was unhampered, came quick and shallow. A rustling sound came from a few feet to her left, and she felt a warm hand on her wrist. A moment later Seth spoke again.

“Don’t be frightened, you’re alright. The effects just haven’t worn off yet. Relax and you’ll be able to move soon.”

He continued to hold James’ wrist in an odd manner. She thought he must have been checking her pulse. A tingling sensation started in her toes and she found she could wiggle them a little. Immense relief swept over her as the feeling worked it’s way through the rest of her body. She could move now, but with caution. Soreness covered her limbs like a blanket. She also began shivering violently; apparently she had sat motionless for a long time. Seth helped her sit upright.

“You’ll be fine in a minute. Don’t fight the cold either, it’s a good sign if you can feel it.”

James sat shivering for what seemed an eternity, although it wouldn’t have been so bad if it still wasn’t so dark. Gradually she found she could speak.

“Why can’t I see anything?”

“That’s not you, its just dark in here. Hang on, I got a light.”

There was a short click, and a flickering flame appeared in mid air. The sudden light blinded James at first, but when her eyes adjusted she could make out Seth staring back at her, a small lighter in his hand.

“Where’s the…the other one?”

“He’s in the corner. He didn’t want to scare you again.”

“I don’t mind.”

This wasn’t exactly true, but James would rather look at Fenris than think about him lurking around somewhere in the dark. The sound of heavy footsteps approached, and Fenris cautiously poked his face into the circle of light. Very deliberately, without making any sudden moves, the thing extended his clawed, fuzzy hand in greeting. James managed a weak smile and took it.

“My name is Fenris for the record. I’m sorry if I came on a little strong before, I didn’t know who’s side you were on.”

“Well, seeing as Grey shot her I think we can safely assume she’s not an accomplice. He wouldn’t have locked her up either unless he knew she wouldn’t want to stay. What did he tell you anyway to make you cooperate?”

James looked at Seth and felt a twinge of guilt. She knew now that He had been trying to save her from whatever Justin had planned. It was her fault they were all in this mess, and however embarrassing it was to explain how he’d deceived her she felt she owed it to them.

“He didn’t seek me out. I found him bleeding in an ally and he told me a Gang jumped him.”

“So you took him to the hospital and the rest is history. What he told you is partially true. I’m not part of a gang, and I didn’t jump him, but it is my fault that he was injured.”

“How so?”

Seth chuckled ruefully.

“It’s a long story, but the short version is that a scuffle broke out and I couldn’t keep the situation under control. Madison can be a bit…over enthusiastic when it comes to that sort of thing.”

“Madison? Justin said something like that too.”

Seth smiled in a strange way and nodded.

“Fenris and Madison see it as their job to protect the rest of our group. After Justin got away from us, we broke up into search parties, knowing he was up to no good, as undoubtedly you can see now.”

“But what was the fight about in the first place? Why did he kidnap me? Why is he holding us here? What did he mean about me disappearing?”

Seth and Fenris exchanged a glance. Seth cleared his throat and thought for a moment before answering.

“It would take a long time to explain. I think we should focus on trying to find a way out of here first.”

James couldn’t help the look she gave Seth at his words. How did she know these people weren’t pulling the wool over her eyes like Justin? The bits they had told her didn’t really explain anything. Maybe if she heard more she could decide better if they were on the level. If she demanded to hear more and they clamed up she’d at least know they had something to hide. On the other hand, she wanted to get out of this place, and her only chance of escape was probably with these two people. Then again, she’d already been tricked once today, and had no intention of falling for something twice.


*******

Okay, how is James going to act? Should she trust them? pretend to? Demand answers? Or something else?

[Masterweaver]

She should call upon her (previously unknown even to herself) great magical power!

It's a cliche, but...

[Geek_girl72]

Sorry, this is more sci fi than fantasy, no magical powers : (

She's going to need Iago-like guile to survive this situation, the question is how does she use it?

[Masterweaver]

She faints.

[solus.serpen]

She agrees and helps them to find a way out. Hey-they're all in the same boat here. And I don't think they would take further questioning too well right now. Best to start off on a good note. Ask them later.
-And great chapter, GG. :D
Hopefully the next one won't be so long in coming - or else my *holding breath* technique might prove somewhat troublesome :?

~Solus ;)

[Masterweaver]

She calls her pet telepathic cat!

[Geek_girl72]

Hopefully I'll be able to do the next chapter quicker, this one and next are hard becasue the rest of the charatcers, like maddison who we haven't seen yet, are going to be introduced. Also, I need to show the depth of Justin's villiany, speaking of wicj, I'm a little nervous about how this chapter came off, what did you think of The twist in the middle?

[Masterweaver]

It's all good!

[solus.serpen]

Yes, it was done very well - I was regretting not saying about it in my last post actually. I think it was definitely interesting to switch sides like that, but now we are unsure as to who is the bad/good guy. It certainly helps with getting the characters across :)
The only niggle I have with it was that it was quite short and sudden. One minute he is her friend and ally - and the next thing we know, he has shot her, dissapeared, and Seth is suddenly being 'nice guy' and helping her.
It was good, but it leaves us a bit dazed - however, I think that the next chapter(s) should be more revealing (introducing new chars etc.) so that will be fine ;)
I like the way that it has a big plot twist so near the beginning of the book actually, it's not often you see one of those.

~Solus :D

[Geek_girl72]

Okay, are there any other techniques James could use to make sure history doesn't repeat itself? She's got to make sure she come out in one piece.

[solus.serpen]

Well, maybe she could ask for some kind of proof? Something which shows her that they wren't just lying like Justin was? I'm not sure what exactly - but it would be quicker than demanding them to tell her the whole story. After all, she doesn't even know where she is. I think it's probably best to trust them for now. At least until she gets out of there.

~Solus

[Kalanna Rai]

Not much I can think of other than telling them she want's no part of it, that she just want's to go home.

[Masterweaver]

Where is home?

I mean, she can't very well go back to her house after (insert strange incident here)...

[SerriaFox]

Sometime you have to make deals with the devil. She can't trust anyone. But she can work with them until she get more information. I like asking for proof, even if it is just a token.

Well written story

[Crunchyfrog]

Wow. What a great story.
I have to disagree with Solus, though, I loved the sudden twist. Make the reader feel as dazed as James felt. Yeah!

I'd go with pretending to trust them for the time being, she needs to play her cards close to her chest. She's not really into going home, I think, because she finds the whole idea of an enclosed city claustrophobic, and has an insatiable desire to know more of what's outside. These people possibly come from 'outside'. She may not necessarily want to get involved in their business, but they may be her passage to gain her dream.

Looking forward to the next instalment!

[Geek_girl72]

Wow, I've got a family crisis going on and need to take some time off, I'll be back soon though.

[solus.serpen]

Ok - good luck with it! Hope all goes well ;)

~Solus

[Geek_girl72]

Okay, I'm back now. Is there any more thougths before I put a poll up?

[Guest]

Have "Fenris" rip someone apart in self defense, come on seriously, pwetty please? *puppy eyes*

[Crunchyfrog]

Sticking with my original thoughts.... :)

[Geek_girl72]

Quote: Have Fenris rip someone apart in self-defense

That's actually a good idea, but it might fit later. Right now they have to get out of wherever they are, and James needs to decide if she should trust them. Ripping someone apart with his bare hands might not be the best way to convince James she's safe with them.

[Geek_girl72]

Alright, poll is up!

[SerriaFox]

I like option 1, 2, and 3. And would like to see element of 2,3 worked in. But in the end she has little choice but to go with them atleast until she learns more.

[Geek_girl72]

Onlt two votes so far? and a tie too? come on, you guys can do better than that!

[Argonaut]

I'm back and I'm breaking ties! Can't wait to see more of this story.

[Chinaren]

Caught up, voted, coming second!
:D

[Geek_girl72]

Finally, the tie is broken! James will keep her mouth shut and see what happens. I'm getting all psyched about this next chapter, the story is going to really take off now.