City of IF

[Idea master]

So I was bored one day and decided to pull out old files from my high school life. I can honestly say I have NO idea what I was thinking, but somebody must have been sharing something with me. With that out of the way, I stole the beginnings of a few of my MANY RP's within the group I was in and teased it into a storygame.
This could be the start of a beautiful rekindling...

Chapter one - Double Double
OR
Get that bloody sword out of my face!

An old hag was mixing up a potion in her giant pewter cauldron. She had yellowing skin, bloodshot eyes, and a wart on her hooked nose. In short: A hag. She even had the black robes and pointed hat.

The cauldron, however, was far from ordinary. It showed an image upon it's surface that could be taking place miles or even other planes far from her. But the fact that she had managed to summon it meant she could watch it and influence it. "Yes, my pretties, let Helga hear your worries, eheeheehee."

Obligingly, the spells began to work so she could hear what was happening...

A mage walked down the streets of Tarnlethia, depressed that he had indeed not lived up to his ambitions. His turquiose robes dragged on the cobblestones behind him, and the only thing stopping theives from taking his money was that he had no money.

He had flunked out on his test to be a Journeyman, the second rung on the ladder of Magery. The first was naturally Master, and those had seperate levels depending on what your mastery was in. The third and lowest level was apprentice, which he had managed to sneeze by...literally. For this mage's magic was no ordinary magic, but Wild Magic. It could do random and unpredictable things. The only problem was it was always doing the exact opposite of what he asked, begged, pleaded, and threatened it into doing.

For his exam to be a Journeyman, Richard had attempted to summon a boquet of flowers that would dissolve into a small flock of birds, colorful lights, and pleasing smells. He should know that such a boquet existed because he had spent months growing the flowers. The only problem was that he had summoned a large wedge of cheese instead, which somehow managed to give out enough pepper to cause the entire building to explode. The Master Mages, or what was left of them, had very strictly refused to even see, much less talk to, him again.

And so, he went to the Fancy Fox pub in town and mooched in the darkest corner, hoping that his turquoise robes would not attract too much attention.

-----

A holy monk had just arrived in town, after a year of solitude. Soon, he would be able to become a priest, have his own church, and bring millions to his Lord. Before that, though, he decided to pay a visit to one of his old friends, Grumpo the dwarf, who ran a modest weapon business to keep up with his alcoholism.

"Grumpo!" the monk called as he walked through the door. The bell tinkled slightly as the door opened and closed. A variety of weaponry hung from the walls and was encased in cabinets. A small forge was active in the back, behind the counter. There was minor dust on all the surfaces except for one, where it looked like somebody had jumped several times, grabbed onto the edge of the counter, then just gave up and walked under the service counter. Thurgo pushed up the counter and roughly shook the dwarf awake. "Grumpo, wake up you bleeding idiot!"

"Wha? Oh, it's you, Thurgo. Back already?"

"Back? I've been gone for a year! What have you been doing?"

"Oh, this and that."

"Never mind. Is there anything you can't get rid of that I can take off of your hands?"

"Yeah, that great ruddy sword in the middle. No matter how hard I try, nobody wants the darn thing."

"Fine, I'll take it for you."

"Oh no you don't, dearie! What do I have here? Heeheehee, some spice to your situation?"

The moment Thurgo had picked up the sword, he realized there was something odd about it. He couldn't quite place it though. Thurgo walked back into the street and tried to place the sword under his knapsack on his back. When he tried to let go, however, he found his hand was stuck to the sword. Not only that, it was firmly fused, and if he wasn't careful, he might lop his own head off drawing it back. He carefully redrew the sword and looked it over. "Now why do I have the feeling that you're not the ordinary sword?"

"Because I'm not?"

Thurgo would have jumped out of his skin. As it was, he was minorly rattled in his monk robes. After making sure that nobody was listening, he turned back to the sword. "Did you just anwser me?"

"Why, I believe I did! And do you know something, I spoke perfectly and managed to form whole sentances! I can even say what I mean without stuttering!"

"But that's not- you can't- swords aren't supposed to-" For the life of him, Thurgo could not finish one complete thought.

"Let me do it for you, eh? Swords aren't supposed to talk! That work for you?"

Thugo nodded vigorusly. "What am I to do with you?!"

"Well, you could ask me reeeeaaalllly nicely, and I might let go of your hand."

"Please, sword, will you let go of my hand?"

"No, sorry."

"You said you would!"

"I said I might. I didn't know I couldn't until you asked."

Thurgo groaned. "I have priest examinations in an hour! How am I going to explain you?"

"Don't go?" the sword asked hopefully.

-----

"Hey. This table taken?"

The man in the turquiose robes looked up and shot a glance, then sighed and slumped back. "Not really. What's with the sword?"

Thurgo sighed. "It's a long story. Suffice to say I can't let go, and because of that, I am not allowed to become a priest until it's removed."

"Hmm. Sounds like my story."

"What, is it a sob story like this pathetic monk's?"

The robed one shot a glance. "I could swear your sword talked."

"Guess what? I did!"

"Interesting...very interesting. I would say it's a major polymorph spell attuned to two people, one morphed, the other the sufferer, and that the morphed one has the same abilities he had in life and passes them on to his bearer."

"What?" Both sword and monk asked.

Robed-man sighed. "Introductions? I'm Richard."

"Thurgo."

"Raven, or as this guy called me-"

"I'm sure I know what he called you," Richard interrupted. "Now that I think about it, are you the same Raven from a hundred years ago?"

"So that's how long it's been? Blimey, I need to catch up. Well, if your Raven could steal souls and things that weren't even there-"

"Then you're him, suffering under a major enchantment."

"And I suppose you'd be some sort of great mage, willing to break my enchantment?"

Richard slumped again. "No...I'm not anybody, really, and less than nobody in the wizarding world. But we could try."

"Where would you reccomend we start?" Thurgo asked.

"Eheeheehee, now what, my precious dumplings? Hmm...some snake heads should serve to stop you from going anywhere. Yes, this will be a fine struggle you boys put up! I'll add a cunning snake head then, one that lured me in almost...And then I toss in a dragon scale, along with a pretty little flower of the nightbloom plant. And finally I'll toss in...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Wow, that was long! But good, right? Yeah, so the concept is mostly from a high school RP. So we've got a Wild Mage who can't do a darn thing right even the 42nd time you ask him to, a competent priest shunned by his order for a foumouthed sword he can't get rid of, and a crazy old hag in the background, adding in plot elements as we go.
So. What effect will the snake head have? Will the dragon scale summon a real dragon? What will the nightbloom flower do? And what other dastardly thing does she toss in?
Also: Where do Richard, Thurgo, and Raven-sword go? (And do they make it?)
F12
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[Masterweaver]

The snake head is a feminine presence (specifically, the sword's sister just out of hibernation), The dragon scale is a drgon (About seven feet high on the back legs and rather annoyed at having been summoned by richard), And the flower is a noble(?) knight. The hag is then interupted by another of the coven, and while they chat, the guys all get up and decide to go to the mystic altar on the outskirts of town (but the sword doesn't want to).

Fact is, the hag wants them to go the other way...

Great story IM!

[Idea master]

Hmm...interesting. I had been thinking other things, myself, but I rather like yours.
Anyway. What else does she toss in? You forgot that! I'm all for other hags in the background, but we need a fourth item!

[Masterweaver]

A rubber chicken!

Thought I was going to say giant chicken, right?

Of course, it summons a bird of poultry the size of a man.

[Phang]

*jaw lock*

Don't ask. I'm reading this but I can't say anything.

[Masterweaver]

Okay. I will also throw in a keyboard that summons a robot.

[Idea master]

...Can we try to keep it in the realm of 'stuff a hag would have in her hut'?

[Masterweaver]

Read Pratchett. He's more realistic then that.

"Stuff a hag would have in her house," my bleep.

What do think an old lady would carry around? Eye of Newt? That's rather expensive.

Sorry, reading about Hivers and it's getting into my mind...

[tramp in a storm]

lol. Great story IM!

Just because I keep thinking these sort of evilish things and I think that an old hag would probably find it funny, maybe she could throw in one of the hags that chat too much behind her.


"Oi golden oldie! in you go!" weeeeee!!!

[Masterweaver]

Rapunzel's hair summening a kitty!

[tramp in a storm]

or a budgie. an evil one in a cage that says something along the lines of:

"Hello. I am evil and I will escape!" then it grows big arms and bends the cage bars and starts to escape. and it says somnething like: "Haha! I am evil and I will get away." in an evil voice.



(lol. please don't ask.)

[Masterweaver]

What's a budgie?

[tramp in a storm]

A budgerigar. A type of bird. I got two! (after the blue one flew away :( )

Is the word budgie just an English word by any chance? 'cos we seem to have alot of them...

[Masterweaver]

A bird's beak to summon a dyslexic parrot.

[Idea master]

Yipes! I didn't know you all had such zany ideas!
Though I'm liking the idea of the parrot. Of course, it has a different form of dsylexia, and it switches around whole spellings of one word to make a meaningful sentance into a rather embarassing one...
Yesh, that will get added to the poll when we have enough options. Along with throwing in another hag and the rubber chicken. I don't think she'd toss in a keyboard, even if she knew what it was. This is the age of knights and wizards, not of robots and spaceships.

[Masterweaver]

Piano keyboard?

[Idea master]

And what, praytell, would THAT summon? Bethoven?

[DELETED]

DELETED

[tramp in a storm]

Idea master wrote: And what, praytell, would THAT summon? Bethoven?

rofl! If she summoned bethoven you'd have my French teacher suddenly apearing too!

[Masterweaver]

No, the french teacher was the textbook.

[dinranwen]

Here's so more options. But nice story btw, I just wished you spaced things out it would be whole lot easier to Read you know!


But here's my two cents:

The Snakes heads will turn into an invisible net, so when the group gets up the stumble into someone important.

The Cunning Snake head will turn into a dumb idea, causing one of them to do something incredibly stupid.

The Draggon Scale will turn something utterly unresitable and impolosive, causing the group to try to go after it at all cost.

The Nightbloom Flower will turn into a shady barmaid who is considerably distracting because anyone around her cannot think.

And finally she will throw in Sugar which being the opposite of spice will cause something incredibly boring to happen to the other guy without the sword stuck in his hands.

The monk, the wild magician, and the Sword will then of course try to go after the thing that is unresitable (the Dragon Scale), stumble into the smart alic drunk on the way get into a fight because they feel like doing something stupid, pass by the distracting barmaid and loose all train of thought, then perhaps go to sleep since that is utterly boring.

But that's just one option.

[Masterweaver]

There are two snake heads?

[Idea master]

No, just one cunning one. The hag was debating with herself about adding any snake heads at all, or putting in something worse...
I'll be putting up a poll tomorrow, if I still can, for the 'extra' object she throws in. Any ideas for what the other three objects do should get in now, as I won't be polling for them, but picking the ideas I like the most. The poll will run for five days, and then I'll get to writing again.
And by the way, I will NEVER let you all decide what the effects of the three objects are again. In fact, I won't do it again! I'll just have her toss in a mystery object with a random effect, decided by you, the readers and voters.

[Masterweaver]

Aw, you took out all the fun...

[Idea master]

Well my brain was exploding!
Though if you ALL protest, I may bring them back in chapter three. I'm going to do one chapter without them, though, just to give my poor brain a rest.

[Masterweaver]

Oh, you do have a brain!

I though you were a noncoporial entity.

[tramp in a storm]

How could a, whatever you said, write a story like this?

lol. These are all funny. Din your sudgestions sound like a normal thing that should happen in IF. rofl!

*waits for the poll*


(For the poll I think you'll have to PM the Mods.)

[LordoftheNight]

Poll is up.

[Idea master]

Lordy, every option is up twice!
Fix it, please.

[Masterweaver]

First vote! And I voted for poultry cause it's fun!

[Idea master]

Hmm. I'm throwing in the Sugar! And this'll be fun...*Plot scheme*

Here we are then!

Chapter Two - Toil and Toil
OR
Sweet 'n Sour Sauce

"A little sugar for you, dearie? That'll prove interesting with that cunning snake head, that will! And you've already been spiced! Oh, but you will be a fine meal. Eheeheehee!"

There was an adbrupt shadow over the table. Richard and Thurgo looked up to see a lady, and then an adbrupt change came over Thurgo.

She was the most beautiful, ravishing, breathtaking woman alive! Her brown hair fell about her head perfectly, landing softly on her green and brown silken robes. Her slender hands and build made her all the more wonderful. Her full lips, violet eyes, and small nose made him think all the more of kissing her. Then he remembered that he was a monk, and monks weren't supposed to do that. It was a little too late, however. "Woah! You'd almost swear Thurgo here had another sword or some semblance of manhood!"

Thurgo, to silence Raven, promptly beat him on the table. Raven gave one quick cry and fell silent. The damage was done, however, yet the woman smiled. "Greetings, I am Cheri the Druidess."

"An interesting profession. I am Richard the Wild Mage."

"A wonderful name," Thurgo sighed, while putting his head in his sword-free hand. "I am Thurgo, and I am at your service."

Cheri tittered. "You are quite the flatterer. However, it is not you at the moment, but your sword that interests me. You say you cannot get rid of it?"

Thurgo came to again. "Aye. Do you know-"

Cheri preempted him. "There is a stone circle just outside of town that we druids use to break curses on people and objects. Would you care to come with me?"

Thurgo nodded, then sighed again. Such a wonderful, knowledgeable druidess surely deserved his attentions. Then he remembered that he shouldn't be giving his attentions to anyone.

The trio walked through the streets, encountering vauge people this late at night. There was a ghost of a small, white, weasle looking-thing, along with a man (Or woman) who's number (And type) of limbs kept shifting and changing. Several other wizards huffily went past Richard, some dressed in elaborate robes, some not. There were stalls selling strange blue glowing rocks, and others selling orange puff-pets, the latest result from the Experimental Magic Guild.

"Helga! Helga, my dearest sister! Oh, how you've grown! You've destroyed this whole realm and turned it to serve your purposes of isolationism!"

Helga looked up from her brew and saw a slightly uglier, more hunched, and wartier hag coming down the road. Helga brightened. Her older sister Nastine! The two sat down outside and talked of the old days.

Meanwhile, the cauldron bubbled, a sign that the main characters were going against Helga's will...

All in all, it was rather uneventful, until they got outside. Even then, nothing much happened until they got past the amount of wards on the city itself. Then came the excitement.

Not very far distant, they could hear a roar coming from down the road forward and slightly to the right. "Which way is the stone circle again?" Richard asked.

Cheri gulped and grimly pointed in the exact direction the roaring noise came from. The group hurried, there might be someone hurt if a beast went on the rampage. They crested a hill and saw an amazing sight.

A huge blue dragon, about fifteen feet long in the body, ten feet long in the tail and neck, and with a fifty-foot wingspan, was doing battle with a single knight. The dragon roared and belched fire at the man, who bravely held up a shield and waited for it to pass. The man then lofted his sword and moved closer, carefully avoiding the swiping talons, hoping to get a chance at the neck or head.

Cheri began her run anew. "That man can NOT be permitted to slay that dragon! He has just as much right to be here as that knight does!"

Thurgo jumped after her, landed on his face and began to roll down the hill. Richard sighed and rolled up his sleeves, preparing to do some intricate magework to save his behind if all hell broke loose.

Thurgo reached the knight first, by virtue of uncontrolled rolling. He picked himself up and dusted himself off, seeing the knight, but no one else. "Where'd the dragon go?"

A roar came from behind him, quite close. He turned and found himself face-to-face, literally, with the dragon. It seemed as though his quick rolling took the dragon by surprise, and that's why he lasted so long. All the blood drained from his face as he whispered two words Monks were taught to never say one after the other. This time, however, it seemed appropriate.

"STOP!"

The dragon lifted it's head and stared at the one who dared to tell it to stop, which was, of course, Cheri. She quickly dragged the two men away from the dragon, then went back. "That one," she said, pointing at Thurgo, "Didn't mean you any harm. And that one," she said, pointing at their mysterious knight, "Won't do you any while I'M here. I am Cheri, what is your name?"

"Surtum."

The dragon's voice was powerful enough to shake the dandruff loose from Thurgo's hair and set his teeth quivering. Cheri was unfazed. "Will you travel with us, Surtum? We may need your strength to break the curse of the sword glued to Thurgo's hand." While she said his name, Cheri pointed over her shoulder as to which one Thurgo was.

Surtum seemed to think for a minute. Then he said, "I shall, but no further, at least, not with that being that dares to give itself a name while attacking me."

Thurgo rolled to his right and said, "Hello, I'm Thurgo, and this is my sword Raven. What's your name?"

"Fredrick the Lion-hearted."

"A coward if I ever met one. He let himself be dragged away from a dragon by a lady!"

Fredrick turned red. "Wait! It's not me, it's the sword!"

"Really?"

"Yes, you lilly-livered pansy, really!"

Fredrick had listened this time, then nodded. "I assume he is the reason you were on your way to the stone circle, then?"

"That he is. Richard, it's all right! You can come down now!"

Richard cautiously made his way down the hill. "This is Fredrick," Thurgo said.

"Hello, Fredrick."

"Hello, Richard."

Cheri returned. "Well, the stone circle is just over the next hill. Let's get going."

One hill later, the crew of mage, knight, monk, druid, and dragon stood before a mighty stone altar with several other stones around it, in various states of standing up or lying down. "What happened here?"

Cheri grumped. "Cheap contractors. Some bloody short man in a hooded cloak offered to do our construction for a whole altar cheap, then set this up and took off. The only thing we saw of him was an orange furred hand, but never you worry, we'll find him one day. Now, stick your sword on the altar."

Thurgo complied. "The rest of you, back up. If you're too close, you might get caught in it."

Nobody bothered to ask what 'it' was or would be. Surtum turned to go as well, but Cheri shook her head. "Not you, noble sir. I may need you about."

Surtum paused, then trudged back towards the circle, knocking over a stone with his tail.

Cheri gathered her power...

Helga returned to her hut to find the morsels stronger and not at all where she wanted them. She stamped her feet a few times in anger. "Oh no, dearies, this can't do! My lovely brew will be spoiled! What will Helga use on you next?"

Helga dived into the bag of oddities that her Nastine had left her, selected one, and dropped it in with a hissing sound.

Cheri gasped. The ball of white power that appeared over the altar was not of her doing, though it was draining her powers, and Surtum's as well. She could only guess as to what would come from it...

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Which is where YOU, the loyal readers and voters, come into play!
You may have noticed that there were some mentions of some IF people. If you ask me nicely and knock your heels together three times, you may get a mention, or who knows! You may become a part of this story as one of it's characters! I'm still debating as to whether or not I want to continue this aspect.
Also, Helga now has a 'bag of oddities,' meaning anything, ANYTHING, can be what she tossed in OR tosses in.
Some of you may have noticed that I eliminated the predetermined three elements at the end. My brain was exploding, so I cut them out. If you protest in an orderly fashion, I'll bring them back too.
But the MAIN issue is what Helga tossed in, and what it turns into. No matter what, it will stop them from breaking the curse at least today, as it's draining both the druid's and the dragon's powers. The challenge? Making it incapacitate them more permantly, of course!
F12
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[Masterweaver]

It is a Hiver from the world of Pratchett!

Ant the item she tossed in is of course a bee.

[tramp in a storm]

oh...I missed the poll :(

I blame school and homework. * is releaved to have a holiday.*

She could always add a bit of....erm...chocolate! Then the dragon and the druid end up craving chocolate as well as losing their powers.

[dinranwen]

How about she tosses in another item after the first.

The thing that drained them of power was of course a magnet or a loadstone. Either would draw power and would be a random item around her house.

So for more permant purposes to make the druidess and the dragon's power permantly stick to the loadstone, we need glue. Glue will stick their power to the magnet.

And while I'm at it...*Crosses fingers and clicks her heels three times* Sorry couldn't resist.

[Masterweaver]

Or the rock is opening an interdimensional portal, and one of the characters (Good, bad, netrual) from Bionicle pops out.

The object? Obviously, a mask.

[LordoftheNight]

Poll is up.

[dinranwen]

He He, I created a three way tie! I just love ties.

Especially the funny ones with duckies on them!

Meanwhile while we sit waiting for the Tiebreaker, or should I say scissors? A little cheer for my option of choice:

Go Magnets! Your our object, if you can't do it, Glue always can!

[Masterweaver]

Din. You a cheerleader?

[Crunchyfrog]

You might just get a tie breaker, I am half way through reading this, it's tagged on to my favorites, I'll cast my vote soon!

[Crunchyfrog]

Okay I voted.



*Puts on red glittering slippers, clacks heels and hoists annoying little dog under armpit*
"There's no place like home...there's no place like home....there's no place like home....." :P