City of IF

[dinranwen]

New chappie will be up, detailing the third most stupid thing I did as an Ifian.

Anyone want to guess? Or are y'all just going to sit there holding your breath until the new chappie?

Thanks for the Comments everyone. So far this has proved perfect for what I'm using it for, a practice ground for humor. In real life, I have quiet the sacrastic wit, and am known for being almost akin to deadly in my witty comments to those I don't like or those people who I like but just enjoy seeing them bristle for the pure pleasure of the experience. I am just trying to figure out I translate the humor I naturally have in written form.

So Smudger is kinda of right, This all is just my little way of Practcing and Perfecting my humor.

If all goes well, and with lots of practice, maybe my next attempt at humor will actually be funny.

[Guest]

O O I want to guess... Is it something to do with the polls. :)
I can't wait for the next chappy.

[Masterweaver]

Or advertising?

[dinranwen]

Wrong and Wrong. *Giggles* You'll see. Chappie will be up tommorrow as my spell checker has decided to rebel and I am being forced to use another computer....for which I have to wait. But see you tommorrow everyone.

[Guest]

OK. CAN'T WAIT*HOLDS BREATH* WAIT A SEC*BREATHS OUT.* IF I HOLD MY BREATH I'LL DEI THEN THERE WOULD BE NO TIME TO READ IT.
oops had cabslock on. :)

[dinranwen]

Chapter 3: Of all my stupid ideas


It had started as a perfectly normal day....well, as normal as it gets in If anyway.

Dinranwen had succesively planted another chapter on her ever growing storygame Tear Strung Lyre, lurked in a few other storygames such as Uncertain Quests without actually posting, and slipped off her hood for a moment to take the face of Rain in Sword of Ergos. Essentailly doing what she did best, lurking without really doing anything and being bored out of her mind, when the strangest urge to something incredible crazy even for her.

Dinranwen got the irrestiable urge to join the council. Later when reading Chinaren's City of If , she would learn that was the result of a machine made by a mad man causing randomn citzens of If to Join the Council. Dinranwen had been caused to join by a mispell malfunction by the machine which mistakenly called her....DinnnerHen.

Currently Dinranwen was found pacing and yelling at herself within the realtive safe confines of her small cabin in the Fantasy Forest.

She was saying something along the lines of, "Of all my stupid ideas...I just had to go and join the council."

"Look on the brightside," Kalana Rai said in between chewing on bits on Village People, "At least we'll be co-mods." Kalaana Rai who was a slighty smaller version of her large kickbut dragon assasin self, after all Dinranwen wasn't that rich that she could afford a cabin large enough to fit a dragon, even if one was her friend.

"And you'll may even get a chair with four legs, all I get is a lame three legged chair in what can pass for a broomcloset in the Linear Competion."

"True." The Dragoness said glaring at Din as Dinranwen smacked her hands away from the characters of Tear Strung Lyre.

"Don't eat my main characters!"

"What about Saul? He's dead right. From the smell, he's still fresh," Rai said her talons reaching for her next victim.

"I thought you liked live victims?"

"I do, but I'm not that picky."

Din waved a hand in Rai's direction placing her hooded face in her hands.

"Jester Park, of all places. I had to agree to Jester Park."

"Come on, it's not that bad." Rai said waving a bone around as she gestured with her claws, "Most of the really insane creatures are locked in the basement, and now days people only get killed twice a week."

"It could be worse." Gloomy Smudger said yet again for the thosandth time. "Besides the Offices of Jester Park aren't nearly as bad as what Chinaren has what Chinaren has done to our Council Chambers."

"You mean I have to move there?" Din said looking against. Council Hall wasn't that bad if you don't mind an bright colored Orange those days. In addition, if you liked a fountain of your favorite brevage that made you have a giant headache the next day. Yet for Din who hated crowds to begin with, living in Council Hall would be a nightmare come true.

"You mean you haven't been there yet," Smudger laughed as he saw the co-mods shake their heads, "Wait until you see what Chinaren has done to the place."

Turning a slightly paler shade of shadow, Din gathered her cloak back around her and taking her less conviental route of shadows, Din was right behind Rai as they went to look at their new council homes.

~ ~ ~

A loud Roar followed by thunderous booms soon sounded throughout Council Hall, causing it's memembers to duck and hide.

In Chinaren's office, the orange fablionair chuckled, "Sounds like Rai loves her new chambers."

Din, however who despite knowing and loving Rai, hid in only shadow in her room created by her door. She and Rai were friends, yes, but even Din knew not to get in the way of an angry, ramaging dragoness.

Peaking out behind her door as the comotion settled down to a normal level, Din surived her own rooms.

A rather large hole filled with the remains of iron and glass from a glass window dominated the far wall allowing a stead stream of light and a chilly breeze in her room.

Other than the shadow her door created, no a single shadow was in the room.

Rather the room was filled with light, causing the brillant orange that domianted the decor to glow so brightly it hurt Din's eyes to look at it.

Orange Window Curtains, a thin cot that pased for a bed in full view of the 'window', a tacky orange end table that doubled as a stool, a bench, and a desk, a orange lamp with a dark orange lampshade, and a giant orange bell that would ring every time their bloved major wanted them completed the rooms contents.

What was worse was all this was stuffed into a room that was barely big enough to hold all it's contents.

Unlike her co-mod however, Din was prepared to make due with what was provided. She would have been much more comfortable in her cabin that was filled with the many twisted shadows of the trees that grew near her home, but Din wouldn't complain.

Din accepted, adjusted, and moved on with her life.

So pushing up her sleeves to reveal two arms patched in various shades of black, Din broke out her Dust Buster 100 and anybody who knew her well started running the other way.

When Din was done, her chambers had a new window complete with glass and rather thick window curtain, candles, and a small bookshelf that contained her favorite storygames that she was currently purossing.

The room was still orange, small, tacky, and out of taste, but at least the room was filled with the shadows Din was so comfortable living in.

Hanging up her collection of cloaks on the wall oposite her bookshelf, Din made herself comfortable for the night.

The next morning something happened that made Din, passable easy going even tempered Din, scream so loud that the locals that Rai was on another Rampaging epsiode.

~~~

((What could have possibly happened? Your input is apprecited.

I hope you enjoyed this new chapter everyone.

And incase your wondering,

My first mistake was Flattering Lordy without Mercy
My second Mistake was starting a doomed storygame and then not finishing it.
My third was detailed in this chapter.))

[Guest]

cool... *waiting sincerely for chapter* :)

My life in city of if is much worse ....

I think i'm on the same road. I'm writing a story that will be doomed to stop in the middle, but it is only a warm up for me since i'm still new. :) But I shall try my best to finish it.

I'm more of the types that types short stories. But what I didn't know was that daemons really could shapeshift.

My story continues to worsten. I think I shall rather do comedy, since I'm actiolly better in that than horror. :)

[Masterweaver]

I would ay that after being knocked out by Chinaren, I was hung up in your closet.

You can go as far as you like, but remember I am technically genderless (and unlusting) because I'm a leather black robe.

[dinranwen]

In your nightmares. Besides, according to my notes, you won't come into existence until Chapter 5 at best....that is if I decide to be nice.

[Crunchyfrog]

*notices MW's joined date for the first time, looks at number of posts, compares with own stats*

eeeek!

:D

I like this, btw, have enjoyed reading it! :)

[dinranwen]

Thanks Crunchfrog! Glad to see a new face in here. And don't worry about the number of post of MW, I joined before him, and even I don't even have half the post he does.

[Guest]

HEHEHEHEHE :P So do we have to guess why Rai was rampaging.
Is it MW's fault. o-) :D no offense *shields face* :D

[D-Lotus]

Lovely story. Not funny yet, but amusing. Keep writing, it'll come- and if it doesn't, at least you'll have a recollection of memories. A memoir, if you will.

[dinranwen]

Okay Folks, new chapter will be up in a day or so.

[Smudger]

Great litle story you got here Din. Keep it going. Maybe it could be that Chinaren finally caught you as his dinner ;) . Merely a suggestion.

[Masterweaver]

Oh boy. THis can not be a good thing to be involved with.

Looking forward to next chapter!

[Guest]

*tail tapping floor exsitedly* CAN'T WAIT. :D :D

[dinranwen]

Chapter 4: Council Robes?

Now where was I? Oh yes, my first day of Modship….

Awakening to the soft pale sunshine shining in her eyes, Din emegreg out of her bed, and walked numbly into the shadows.

Finally having cleaned herself up and having drunk at least ten cups of caffeinated tea, sugar and milk hold the mud, Din walked out of her broomcloset of a closet and looked across the room to pick a out cloak.

………..

A scream filled the mixed emotions of pure horror, and unduliated rath sprang from Din’s lips making most of the eastern quarter of City Council Hall.

Most the inhabitants of that section ducked thinking mistakenally that Rai was on another of her ramagings. It was a good thing they did too.

Din, once she finished screaming, got a look on her face that would have melted stone, and for good reason. There in place of her cloaks, specially made to blend in with the shadows with the same ease Din herself did, and in there place hung three brand new cloaks that definetly did not work for her.

The three cloaks were all a bright orange that made her room colors pale in comparision. Although the cloaks were the same color, the simalarities ended there. The first was floor long by the looks with a large hood, but every hem was lined proudly with the gaudest pale orange lace Din had ever seen. The second was knee length but instead of a hood it had a high collar, but it was decorated with secuines and feathers making it look like something a girl in Muabib’s district would wear. The third was more of a coat than anything was spotted in what looked like orange mud.

Each of the coats were labeled in fable green, “City Council Memember, Hem Mod”.

There was only one person low enough with such horrible taste that Din could think of that could be responsible for such an atrocious act, “Chinaren” Din growled and stepped purposely into the shadows. The last thing to disappear was her hand which grabbed something glittery and sharp from it’s mounting on the wall.

~ ~ ~

Chinaren had dismissed Emeralda to go get his fifty course breakfast meal when with a loud pop and a sudden swish Din stood before him, her eyes fixed on him with a fierce glare as she held the long thin blade of her sword close right in front of his nose.

“Ah, Dinnerhen, I do believe this is the first time I saw you without your cloak, and may I say, you look very well.”

Din growled low in her throat and took a step closer to Chinaren.

“What have you done with my cloaks?”

“What ever do you mean? I thought I hung had my servants hang your new council robes in your quarters? Don’t you like them my dear.”

“You know which cloaks I mean, Chinaren. I would very much like to have my cloaks back as the current robes are found to be inadequate.”

“Council Robes are mandortory, Dinny. I am afraid they are issused to all those who can wear them, and those who can wear them, must wear them. Only special cases, such as Rai, do not have to wear them since the robes cannot be made for those special cases.”

“Quit the Mayorial fauntry. I want my cloaks back I want them back now.”

“I don’t know what your talking about,” Chinaren said reaching for a botton underneath his desk, “I told you, your new robes are in your quarters. Speaking of which how do you like the décor?”

Din had just about enough of this loud of cow dune, and taking a final step towards Chinaren, Din laid her blade right next to Chinaren’s throat.

“Oh, I can live with it, but the question is Can You?” Din said, her whole manner turn icy, “Now for the last time, Where are my cloaks?”

“Din calm down, and be rational. As I told you, I had my servants replaced your cloaks with your council robes. They took them, not me. So I am afraid I can’t help you.”

“Who? Who took my cloaks?” Din said easing the pressure of her blade just the slightess bit.

“There are so many orders, I just can’t remember them all…”

“And I am afraid that have forgotten how to maintain my hold on this position. One little slip and…” Din said as she accidnetly cut off some of the orange beast’s fur, “Oh dear, now how did that happen, it seems I have forgotten. Perhaps you could refresh my memory,” Din said pointly pressing the blade a little harder.

“Aw it seems I have suddenly had a refreshing of memory.”

“I thought you might,” Din said tossing her head hauntingly, “Speak.”

“I seem to remember telling Lordy to place your cloaks there. I am sure I can have them returned promptly.”

“Very promptly. And I expect them to be in the same condition they were found in. In my room, on their hooks. If there is even the single speck of dirt on them, well, let’s just say you’ll be getting a very short hair cut. I expect them to returned by this afternoon. If not…”Din let the sentence hang leaving her sword next to Chinaren’s throat for emphasis.

“I am sure it can be arranged.”

“Make it so.” Din said lowering the blade and walking backwards to the same shadow she used to enter Chinaren’s mayoral office. “And Chinaren?”

“Yes, Din,” the Major said rubbing his bald patch where her sword had been.

“Don’t you even dare tell anyone what my face looks like from beneath it’s hood.”

Chinaren smiled evily, and then questioned with a threat in his voice, “And what if I do?”

A dagger where his head had been a minute before Chinaren ducked was his only answer. Din was gone. Somehow I think Chinaren got the point.

And that is why Din doesn’t wear those hideous things that pass for Council Robes.

[Guest]

Intimidating... :D But I still read it. I liked the part of the dagger and the bold spot. :) hopefully you will add another chappy. :)
*tail still busy doing what it did at first*

[Smudger]

The ideas from Our Fair city lives on!!! Nicely done Din. Can't wait til new chappy.

[dinranwen]

Chapter 5: Dust Busters!

Later the same afternoon Din faced down Chinaren, after she got her precious cloaks back, Din decided for the lack of something better to do to go visit Jester Park.

Afterall, Din thought, I am the mod of the HEM section I suppose I should at least check out the area. Jester Park was not an area Din was often in, well okay, maybe to check out the lastest chappie of one of Kalanna Rai’s hilarious storygames, but other than that…..okay, she did hang out in Jester Park as much as she did anywhere else.

At least she wasn’t the mod of the Scifi section. Din would rather caught without her cloak than to step foot in the dreaded Scific section.

Deciding to walk, Din grabbed her purple cloak to match the dark purple almost black offit she wore for the day and headed out the door pulling her hood far down her face as she went.

Walking down the steps of the council Chamber, Din spared a glare and stuck out tongue at Chinaren and Lordofthenight both of whom she suspected were involved in her cloak snatching.

Walking down the streets, Dinranwen ducked and lurked her way through the crazy mahim that If could be on most days.

Winding upwards through City Central, Din made her lesiruly way to the infamous gesture park stopping to observe the sights and make on comment or two on a couple of forums.

The Games section was her first stop. A pair of gates with several bulky looking guards, including one wielding a large hammer called Cmyrzon and a shape shifting demon named Phang both of whom were taking turns on the rotating shifts that kept the madness of traditional roleplaying within safe confines.

“Hey Phang!” Din waved to the demon as she waited for the other guards wielding large crossbows loaded with cherry pies to open the small door. “How is it in there today?”

Phang frowned, “I have better things to do than to babysit the Games Section even if we have already had two near breaks of homosocidial freaks today.””

“Glad you’re doing well.” Din said in her usual sarcastic manner before waving off to brave her own way through men dressed in dresses, dragons breathing bubbles, and into the ocean filled section that was currently Sword of Ergos’ scernery.

Dropping off a post on the behalf of Rain, Din walked back towards the gate and continued on her merry way.

The Open Forum…a cautic areana filled with people shouting several conflicting random different topics to each other, each competing to be heard over the general racket…distrated Din for a moment or two but she didn’t stop there.

Passing through the open air market overseed by several Chinaren look a likes and Whitey (aka White Blacksmith, a white centaur who wasn’t really a blacksmith), Din made sure to make her daily stop by to see Argo’s stall. The Mercerny Artist for Hire was the only stall Din shopped at, and although he was usually too busy drinking or drawing to take commissions Din still liked to look at his work.

Deciding she had wasted enough time for the day, Din decided to get her largest task over and done with.

Taking a deep breath, Din hung a left, a right, and climbed three sets of stairs and found herself starring at the famous amosument park that was the Hem section.

Ducking to avoid the creame pie thrown at her by a pair of clowns standing at the metal gate that looked like a multi colored clown demon with a his mouth wide open, Din ran into the mouth of the giant clown gate into Jester Park.

Insane laughter of crazed manics, annoying carnival music, and the brightly dressed freak residents of Jester Park met her eyes and attacked her senses.

Jester Park wasn’t that bad, once you got used to it, but the problem was some monster was always breaking free from the Lab hidden underneath the contanstly locked and hidden aHem guild causing havoc.

The place was a mess. Din’s nose curled, and holding her nose to avoid having to smell the ozzing goo that passed for cotton candy here and bolted in the direction of where her offices were supposed to be according to Kalanna who she consulted before even entering this place.

What she found however was not what she was suspecting, in front of her a Fun house complete with a house of mirrors, a slide, moving floors, rickety stairs, and foam obstacles. A ticket booth stood to the left side, inside, a bearded woman stood bored.

Stepping up to her, Din decided to ask the woman for directions. “Um, excuse me…I’m looking for the Jester Park office. Do you know where it is?”

Chewing loudly on Gizzard’s Tongue gum, the woman/man grunted, “You’d be the new Mod, wouldn’t ye?”

“Um. Well, Yes to tell the unforante truth.”

The woman chuckled sickly, “Thought as much. You’d be looking at the Office Miss. Here be your token,” the bearded woman said sliding a large golden coin labeled Mod to Din, “Don’t be losing that now, it be getting you in and we don’t issue seconds around here.”

Striding up to the toad that posed as the coin slot, Din paused as she heard the woman call after her…”Good luck.”

Good luck, Din thought as the coin eater spit her token back out her, why do I need luck?

Her thoughts ended in a scream however as she got sucked into the Fun house with a pop….

Din was expecting to have too work her way through the fun house in the hopes of finding her new office, but to her surprise and reflief, Din found herself inside a dark, dingy office.

Everywhere there were signs of the long absence of the previous owners. Pie stains, creame stains, blood stains, puck stains, stains Din didn’t want to know what caused them, lay on the walls, the carpet, and even the ceiling.

Cobwebs so large they could hold ten thousand dragon size spiders lay across a stack of papers and all across the room. A wood desk covered with a scatter pile of papers, stains, and cobwebs was Din realized with distress her desk as indicated by the brass name plate. A purple, green, and pink poked doted black chair with it’s stuffing hanging out stood behind the desk, a bright spot of color admist the grundge of the dirt.

On the far side of the room, barely visible behind the stains, was a metal door. From the incrisbition, again Din would never ask what it was wrote in, the room was the Treasure Store Room, which apparently doubled as Rai’s office.

Stains, Stains everywhere; except on the starchy white and black of a man who looked like he could play the Butler of Body Mansion.

“Who are you?” Din said reaching up her sleeve for a spare dagger just in case.

“I maydame, am your butler. My services are yours. May I welcome you to your new office. You will have to pardon the fun house, we find that it help keeps the desperate writers of Hem from bothering the mod too much as they tend to get lost or give up in the middle of the thing. You, however, along with Rai have the direct pass. As long as you have it with you, you will be able to directly enter the office such as it is. My name, btw, is L.A.D.N.I. May I offer any my services to you maydame.”

“You’re a butlet right?”

“That would be correct, may I take your cloak?”

“No you may not!” Din snapped, “I you’re a butler why is this room such a mess?”

“I maydame, do not clean. I am a butler not a maid.”

“Then why did you not straigten the papers, clean the windows, or at least keep the cobwebs away for Key’s Sake!”

“As I said, maydame, I do not do those things. I also do not clean. I do not take gloves. I do not show people in. I do not sort. I do not organize. I do not make beds. I do not hang up cloaks. I do Hang up cloaks though. I do not serve tea. I do not cook. I do not take meal orders. I do not count money. I do not prevent annoying people from entering. I do show people the door. But I do not open the door. I, maydame, am butler. Now with or without your permission, I am going to take a nap.”

L.A.D.N.I’s name, Din would soon learn stood for Lazy annoying do nothing idiot, and he did nothing but drive her nuts that afternoon, that was until Din looked him in the one clean place in her whole office, the spare closet.

Smiling grimly, Din reached into the shadows and pulled out her Dust Buster 1000 (yes, she had upgraded since her cleaning episode in chapter 3) and bulted the door.

Outside, a purple lazer beam blast shook the Fun House which shook under Din’s treatment. One lazer beam, this time neon green, caused the Bearded Lady to duck.

Another caused a gazer to eroupt near the carosoul.

For the next three days, no one dared to approach the Fun house which occasionally thundered, boomed, shook, exploded, or shut lazer beams at the paser by…..

And the whole time, Din could be heard merrily humming above the whole racket.

[Smudger]

WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! Not only do you get a giant office, you get a butler?! I got a closet with a three-legged chair! I deserve something...Even a bigger closet :-o . Great chappy Din, well done :D

[Guest]

Everywhere there were signs of the long absence of the previous owners. Pie stains, creame stains, blood stains, puck stains, stains Din didn’t want to know what caused them, lay on the walls, the carpet, and even the ceiling.

That sounds asif argon comited suicide, and the butler as layzy as he is drageed the man around threw him out and then the walls was covereed in blood.
LOVeing it. Hope you like mine. :)

[D-Lotus]

The last two chapters were better and incorporated more humour. Now work on style- try to say things so that they'll be funny.

[Masterweaver]

Jester park is actually the only district with an officail Mod office. Most mods work in a select building.

[dinranwen]

Thanks Everyone.

Thanks D especially, any hints on style or anything else would be really appreciated.

[dinranwen]

Chapter 6: Webs, Leather Cloaks, Lecro Oh MY! Or the apperance, rise, and taming of the user called MasterWeaver.

Leaning against a shadow Din had pulled from a nearby corner and suveryed her work.

The walls were painted in a dark marron that matched the deepest scale found on Kalanna Rai. Din had wanted to paint them different shades of near black/gray, but Kalanna Rai wanted marron and gold. In the end, they had compromised. Different shades of marron varying in shade to almost black now covered the walls succesively hiding the stains that once covered them.

Swathed in black fabric that various standing lamps in the room gave off a dim lighting that Dinranwen definetly liked. Her desk once scrubbed ten times with hard lye soap now sparkled, but the chair behind was markedly new. On her desk in two neat piles were the storygames in the district, on in a box and the other with a old dagger of Din's stabbed through their center. On the opposite side of the desk, Din had reluncantly placed a uncomfortably looking wooden chair for the rare vistor.

The Treasury door, cleaned and decorated with a large plake bearer Rai's name, was closed and Din didn't dare enter it. Rai and her had agreed that they would each do their own work and stay out of each others way. So, Din vowed to stay away from that door, afterall she had seen what bobby traps Rai had set in the treasury room and Din wasn't about to chance the fate that lay upon stepping on any of them.

The only question Din had was now what?

So, pulling down her hood Din decided to go out into the city.

Walking around Din was very much surprised to see much had changed during her cleaning spree.

In the new storygames section, a large web of storygame threads had spread to consume most of the area.

Curious Din tread into the new storygames section, very, very carefully.

The Storygames created by a newbie called MasterWeaver who claimed to be a giant leater cloak were everywhere. Most were short and sweet, and truth to say obviously written in a hurry.

What was worse was even as Din watched more and more spiderwebs sprung up everywhere.

Almost but not quite running out of there Din noticed that the New Post Bulletin was unusually full. Din never should have went.

All across the Bulletin spiderwebs spread showing that this MasterWeaver had been extermly active.

As the most misquoted quote in history quotes * Curiousity kill the Dinranwen, Din's curiousity would be her doom in this chapter. Placing a finger on one of her storygames to see what this MasterWeaver had to say, Din was sucked into the board straight to her one and only storygame.

There on the bottom of page three was MasterWeaver's input:
Quote: Good. But throw in a giant chicken and it would be better.

Fading back to the New Post Bulletin, Din checked MW's other post.

Sure enough two responses where always there:

Quote: Lecro would like to be added to this story **

Quote: Throw in a giant Chicken. ***

Shaking her head saddly, Din hoped this newbie would calm down and settle down quick, nobody would take MW seriously if he didn't improve and make incitive comments/storygames.

~ ~ ~

The next day, Din went to council hall to check her P.M box. As the door to her P.M. Box craked upon hundreds of letters **** poured out the door.

Detressed, Din wondered if she really had been gone that long when to her detress she noticed the were all from MW, and they all said one thing.

Quote: Read such and such storygame. It needs input. Why does now one comment on it? Please comment. *****.

Going to the New Post Board when she noticed to shock that there was a hundred and fifty post even though she was only gone for one day, Din discovered who was the main collprate of these invalent random post. "MasterWeaver."

Just then one of the many minature blue Chess pieces serving Key popped up and gave her a note: "Emergency meeting. See City Council Hall post titled MW's storygames."

Inside Council Hall, everyone was worried about the same thing, MW.

Most found his random comments annoying and his SPAM p.m even more annoying.

What was worse was that MW upon being warned by Chinaren had developed a hate for the Mayor and was now disrepsecting Chinaren's and others authority openly in a forum called Duel!

Taking her usual place in the corner, Din listened as Builders, Mods, and Respected Members worried over MW's exterme hyperactivness.

Suddenly, Chinaren cleared his throat. "Ladies, Gents, and Things of the Council would all take your seats. As you all well know, we are gathered here today to discuss MW."

"I say banish him." Said the foaming mad and drunk Phang who lent heavily against her/it/his demon equalitvant Lordy.

"We can't do that," Allegria chimed. "Afterall, he is still a newbie. He just needs to be taken under someone's wing and taught."

"You can't tame MW. His an inpendent thinker. Besides he's not bad, a little hyperactive and random yes but...to be honest he reminds a little of Chiacutie. Just a lot worse." Someone else chimed from the back of the room. Din couldn't see who it was but their voice sounded vaguely familar.

"The attack of CyberChia 2. Why do I always miss the good stuff?" said an undefinetable voice.

"And he stole my Idearium." Chimed and even drunker than usual Im.

This comment was ignored as everyone knew it was impossible to steal Idearium, it just couldn't possibly ever be done.

"This is all ivelant. I in all my mayoral smartness have decided what to do. We need to catch him and tame MW."

"But I said that," Allegria shouted only to be squashed by a very fat orange fluffy thing in Chinaren's service.

"All we need is someone to do it." Lordy said eagerly rupping his hands at thought of being able to teach the annoying, hyperactive newbie, a lesson or two.

"And I have the perfect people to do it." Chinaren chimed as serval people started to sink marketdly in their seats. "Kalanna Rai, Dinranwen tell us when the job is done."

Rai and her unwilling partner Din tried to weasel out of the job but everyone else the job could be pushed on had already ran away.

"Now what?" Din said her shadowy face taking on the look of worry.

"Sounds like we've going hunting. Have any weapons?"

"A few." Din said mentally counting the daggers, poisions, and various other deadly objects around her person.

"Good. Let's go."

~ ~ ~

Rai and Din soon found MW weaving another storygame out of storygame threads.

Sneaking up to him, Rai was just about to place the Leather Cloak in her talons when a rock scattered across the floor having been accidently kicked by Dinranwen.

Sparing a side glare at her co-mod who could only shrug guiltly, Rai made a swift swibe at MW but only to find an empty cloak hanging one talon.

"What in the name of....?"

"Please ingore the giant spider on the ground. Pay no attention to him, he is a figmant of your imaganition." The Giant Tercula like spider said looking nervously to each side.

"MW you're a..." Din said uselessly.

"A spider. Ya I know. You won't tell anyone will you."

Din and Rai promised to never tell but only on a few conditions.....

~ ~ ~

"Now it is months later and after intensive therapy the Leather Cloak named MasterWeaver has been released from the Newbie Training Mental Hospital.

Other than a few unidentifable stains on his person, MW seems to have made a full recovery. MW has even made a terrific contribituion to the City, a rpg called Realm.

We only hope this change will take." Bob Mckinskey otherwise known as Thawk Bob sees a thawking mod heading his way and signs off before quickly running the other direction. "This is Bob Mckinskey reporting....AWWWWW!" The cammer zooms on the dropped mic before going black.

"All in a day's work." Rai muttered cleaning her talons. "All in a days work."

"Can you please releae me, now?" Din said from a distant room filled with mouse traps.

"Not until you can cross that room silently." Rai shouted to her co-mod whilst examing her talons carefully.

"OW! Ouch! Hey!" Screams could be heard as several mouse traps snapped on Din's cloak.

"This may take awhile." Rai muttered before sauntering off to find some sheep.

******


(1)*[size=small]Actually the saying is Curiosity killed The Cat. However it is the most misquoted quote, the full quote is "Curiousity Killed the Cat, but Satisfaction brought It back."[/size]

(2)**[size=small] Okay, so it isn't an exact quote.

(3)***This however is.

(4)****Okay, so this is an exaggeration, it was actually only five.

(5)*****Not an exact quote, but close.

(6)******Don't you find all these *********** annoying, I do, yet I use them.[/size]

[dinranwen]

Notes On Chapters 6:

Apologies to MasterWeaver, whose feelings we hope were not hurt during the production of this Chapter.

Speaking of MW, we really do feel that MW is a vaulable citzen to the city but at first, I will admit I didn't like MW. Now, however I tolerate MW, as he, his rpg's, and his storygames (some at least) are a real contribution to the City.

We hope that MW will take this apology and accept it, as the fact that the apology is really the fact that entire Chapter has been dedicated to MW's arrival.

Ifian's are reminded that all events in I'm trying to funny and it's Hilarious are mostly ficitional and are not ment to harm, maim, or insult any and all Ifians.

If you have a complaint, take it to the complaint compartment, (cammer zooms to show a serve English nanny wielding a wooden board for uhmmm you know).

If any Ifian wish to have themselves placed in the story, simply post here. Ifian's are reminded that Dinranwen Inc. does take *clears throat* donation, and will be happy to mention any storygames from such *clears throat again* generous givers.

However, everyone is reminded that Hilarious is Dinranwen's story and she can do whatever heart desires in it and with any citzen who happens to wander into her grasp.

Thank you and have a nice day.


This message has been brought to you by Dinranwen's invisible imaginary legal department paid for by her mostly imaginary riches.

[Guest]

I just had to come back. Cool. Great chapter Din. I guess cityofif is addictave and i have only a few miuntes to pare for typing. So i tought id send firstly to hilarious.

[Masterweaver]

The spider thing? I'm a worldhopper.

Sometimes my forms get...jumbled...

[Smudger]

I did read this earlier! Just forgot to say, nice original chappy. A whole one dedicated to Masterweaver :shock: . Well done, more humour added in, and I can imagine Rai and you doing this too ;)

[Kalanna Rai]

Be lucky I'm using moustraps and not sewing bells onto the hem of each of your robes.

[dinranwen]

*giggles* Lucky indeed. Next chapter will be up as soon as I decide to get to it.

[Chinaren]

I've finally caught up!

A nice story Dinny, despite some of your interesting spellings. ;) I like the HEM description.

[Crunchyfrog]

hehe, that was good... :D


I wonder what's coming next... :shock: :lol:

[The White Blacksmith]

dinranwen wrote:
Going to the New Post Board when she noticed to shock that there was a hundred and fifty post even though she was only gone for one day, Din discovered who was the main collprate of these invalent random post. "MasterWeaver."


When I joined this amount of posts, and more, was actually normal for one day. Sadly the Great Slump has brought these numbers down a lot.

[dinranwen]

((The following chapter will probably being boring since I'm following chronicalogical order for the large part...but I want to keep continuance.))

Chapter 7: A turkey, A tree, and A Party!

After spending what seemed like enterinity in that room full of mouse traps, Din was surprised to discover only a week had passed.

Rai however was even more shocked to discover that Din had finally made it out without making a sound. Seeing the stupidified look on Kalanna's face, Din took the advantage to slip out of the treasury back into her own office. 'Let Rai figure out an explanition on her own,' Din thought, 'There's no need for her to know that I cheated.'

Din smiled. Cheat she did. Last night there had been no moon, and no moon meant no light, and no light ment shadows....Din had simply taken advantage of the situation.

Peering through the thick curtain Din had placed over the window she had installed just before being locked up in the room, Din was shocked at the mess.

Giants dressed up in Turkey Suits were being chased by large silverware that could only be the residents of Jester Park in costume.

Silverware and Turkey's could mean only one thing.....Holidays. Din wrinkled her nose. Holidays equated to one thing to her, parties.

Parties meant messes, and Din hated a mess. Especially when she always got stuck up with the clean-up. Din hated cleaning up, but not as much as she hated a mess...which stuck her in an interesting situation that ended her up with a feather-duster in her hand.

However the truth, Din admited to herself as she let the curtain fall from her hand, the mess after the party wasn't the real reason she didn't like parties. It was the crowds, and worse the lights.

How could anyone lurk peacefully when there was sparkles everywhere, people in lampshades, and rude drunks thowing their coctail glasses into the corner?

You couldn't. Which is why Din made it a point to never attend any party she wasn't obligated to attend, and when obligated she hovered in the most unused corner in the whole room...the one behind the Exit door.

Suddenly Din brightened....she couldn't feel guilty for not going to a party if she wasn't asked.

Smiling, Din adjusted her hood, and popped into the nearest corner to jump back to her personal council members quaters. Grabbing a bag, Din hurridely packed everything in the room except the heavy furniture. Not even the curtains, the candles, or books were saved from her hurrieded packing.

Luckily, Din acquired the Mary Poppin's Brand Carpret bag from Smee-Bay. Everything in the room fit into the bag, and when she was done, the bag weighed no more than her heaviest winter cloak.

Opening a shadow door into the City, Din thought to herself, "I'll be gone before anyone notices."

~ ~ ~

Gone. Yeah right.

Her plan had been so simple. Hide in the games section with Rain and Bridgette for a few months, and then come back when it was all over.

No one notice, Din thought, and who would think to look for me under their own notices.

Unluckily for her, most of the Ifians in the city knew her better than she would have liked.

She wasn't five minutes setting up a private lodge when IM stormed in, followed by Rai, followed by Smudge, followed by Morzan, followed by Solus who accompied Jez, then a messenger from Chinaren, followed by a city council member messenger, followed by Whitey, followed by Nightshade, and then lastly an invitation from Lordy to a private elite party.

Once the dust cleared, Din discovered she had enough invitations to last her through every holiday event for the next three years, but squeezed into three months.

Din groaned. How was she going attend all these invents...and did she even want too?

Folding up the now useless lodge in the Games Section, Din trudged her way back to her quaters looking particularly gloomily as she reasoned out the situation.

"I don't have to go...." Din thought to herself, as she brushed by several city tourist without really seein where she was going, "I can always say no. But if I say no, let's see what would happen?"

IM would probably do nothing. After all he had invited her to the annual holiday rpg ball....but her rpg characters would show up in her quaters and drag her out if she didn't show. Din remember the last time her rpg characters decided she was too boring for them....if she remember right, she got drug to the equalivant of Las Vegas, and if she remembered correctly she had spent most of the night with eyes firmly closed and had awoke the next morning with a huge headache. Din didn't want that to happen....so she would have to go to the Annual Holiday RPG Ball.

Rai was easy. Like her rpg characters, Rai would show up and drag her to the party...and none to gently too...saying the whole time her talon's riped a new whole in Din's cloak...."You've spend way to much inside our office...your starting to look pale, and you're a shadow...trust me I'm doing the best for you." Wincing at the thought, Din looked down at her present cloak....a black one with silver stiching. This was the only one left that wasn't stained, riped, or torn.

Smudge would grumble.

Morzan would ingnore her if he had too, but Din would feel gulty afterwards.

Solus.Serpen would poat and give her those puppy dog eyes she couldn't resist.

Chinaren would probably sue her or charge her extordinary amounts of fables for showing up to his party, but he would charge her even more if she didn't.

She was obligated to attend the Council Member Party simply because she was a Council Member.

Nightshade was a newbie who needed to be supported and encoraged...something Din couldn't resist doing.

Finally, if she didn't at least show up to Lordy's party he would inivite some of the demons in his charge to a party in her quarters....something Din would like to avoid for her whole life if possible.

~ ~ ~

Din didn't know why she didn't think of it sooner....she would go to the parties. All of the parties.

Using shadowy corners Din would travel around the city to each of the parties and spend just enough time at each to be seen and no more. If she calucated correctly, she could spend five minutes at each party for each holiday for a total of an hour.

As for the rest of the time, Din planned on locking herself firmly in her office in Jester Park making shadow dummies in her old cloaks. Din planned that if she sewed furiously she could create enough look-a-likes to never ever attend a party again, and that was something Din could definatly live with.

[Guest]

Great chapter Din. Still needs a bit funny added. Thanks for the small mention. :D I know I'm a noob here. But I'm defantly not a noob at writing.

Still you describe really good and sometimes I forget the meaning of an english word. hehe. :D but my commen sence kick back in when I read again.
:P

[Chinaren]

~Makes notes for Tale of IF2~

Interesting information Dinny. Interesting indeed.

[dinranwen]

*looks paniced* Interesting....*panics some more* What was interesting? *attempts to act calm but fails* I said nothing interesting.


~ ~ ~

All jokes aside thanks for the comments everyone. *smiles*

As for my 'interesting spellings', isn't that what Editors are for? :lol: Seriously. Not.

So far I've been to lazy to run Hilarious through my computer and human spell/grammer checkers...but I'm getting to it.....eventually.