City of IF

[Crunchyfrog]

The Story So Far...

As the sun rose on New Years Day in the City of IF, it was clear that all was not well.

During the celebrations the night before, there had been an almighty flash of lightning, and IFians had been seen fleeing the city.

At some point during the evenings proceedings, the Master Map of the City had been stolen. Although this had later turned out to be a fake (leading to the question, where in IF was the real one?) it still did not explain why the fake one had been planted on Crunchyfrog, (hapless Newbie) and why he, along with D-Lotus, (Private Investigator) had found themselves clinging to a ledge on a cliff face in the gorge, which happened to be the entrance to a labyrinth of tunnels, with no memory of how they got there.

They were not in possession of the map for long that morning, since Kalanna snatched it from them saying it should be returned to the City, but instead, unknown to D and Crunchy, she kept it and provided a copy of it to Lordofthenight, with certain areas circled on it. Hmmm....

The labyrinth, turned out to contain the Soul Well. The Soul Well had been created some time previously, when it had become necessary to exorcise several thousand 'soulless IFians' from the city. After the Mass Exorcism, Chinaren, the Mayor, had performed the Ceremony of Release, casting the exorcised souls into the Wells. This had been silently witnessed by Sasuke, a half breed dragon, who had been trapped in the labyrinth for a rather long period, and is searching for the identity of his father.

Since the New Year celebrations, a strange fog has been hanging over the city. It has been discovered that fog is a manifestation of the Souls from the Well. Whispers from within the fog are currently whipping the remaining citizens of IF into a frenzied mob, using suggestions that Mayor Chinaren is looking to kill them at any whim. They are rampaging the streets, and smashing up the Mayoral Mansion. Fortunately for Chinaren, he is not at home.

D-Lotus is suffering from amnesia. The cause of it is not yet clear, but has thought to have occured as a result of the 'event' at the New Year celebration. All he can remember is his name, profession, and the people he knows in the City - he has no recollection of prior events, recent or long term. This includes a prior encounter with BStheGreat, for which BS seems to want revenge.
Polokin, having received requests for assistance from D-Lotus and BS prior to the opening of this story, has chosen to assist BS in his quest to hunt D-Lotus down.
Polokin hides a secret from them both, in the form of an object concealed in his pocket.

On returning to the City, after his escape from the ledge via the labyrinth, D told IM of his adventures, the fake map, the well and his concerns about Kalanna's odd behaviour. IM decided the best thing to do was to find Key.

Kalanna Rai is now also hunting D-Lotus. She has been sent on this mission by Lordofthenight, who has plans for D-Lotus, as a 'test subject'... The other selected 'test subjects' are Sasuke and Masterweaver.
Her mission, is to guide the three 'test subjects' in the right 'directions', for whatever dastardly reasons, as yet unrevealed. Lordofthenight and Kalanna are also hoping that D-Lotus does not 'remember' something, although what this is, is not yet known.

Dinranwen, having spent the last 10 hours dealing with the rather weird events unfolding in Jester Park since the New Years party, has decided to join Kalanna in her hunt for D and his friends.

Lebrenth, the Skiffy moderator, whilst answering a routine call of duty, attempted to teleport himself from the Skiffy Library to the Council Hall became diverted to the Dream Chamber, and succumbed to the mists within. Now Jezsharp, the Tourist Information elf, along with Lordofthenight, (who is officially Up To No Good) are doing what they can to revive him from unconciousness.

* * *

Currently Lordofthenight and Jezsharp are in Jezsharp's Tourist Information Headquarters, pouring a rather intriguing purple liquid with bits growing in it, down the unconcious Lebrebth's throat.

Masterweaver, who had *ahem* 'assisted' D, Crunchyfrog and Sasuke in the labyrinth earlier on in the story, has been accosted by a strange figure claiming to be Chinaren.

Whether this is really Chinaren, or another of his many delusions, or an imposter, is yet to be revealed.

Xansta, who D, Crunchyfrog, Masterweaver and Sasuke had encountered near Jester Park on their escape from the labyrinth has just fallen through a trap door into some kind of a palace or castle dungeon. (Xansta was an IFian from before the Mass Exorcism, but was somehow affected by it. He/she was trapped in the labyrinth and only escaped recently, and had no interaction with any IFian since that time)

After slaying the Etherial Fauna slug, and navigating some pretty vile tunnels, Ideamaster, Crunchyfrog and Sasuke are now outside Key's sleeping chamber in the Royal Palace. D has just entered the chamber, blindfolded, due to something horrific IM has seen inside. Even though he is starting to recover the special powers that he had forgotten about due to his amnesia, this has not stopped Ideamaster sobbing and screaming uncontrollably, and Crunchyfrog wondering if he can get his hands on D's possessions after he's gone...

Kalanna, is also in the Royal Palace, but still in the underground tunnel some way behind the four heroes she is hunting. She is in possession of Ideamaster's spellbook which IM carelessly dropped after overcoming the slug. She has reluctantly agreed for Dinranwen to accomany her, after Din threatened to reveal where Kalanna's real lair was.

And just who is the hunchback in the tunnels under the Royal Palace?

Chapter 4 - Assassination, Domination, and Sado-Masochism :shock:

[Kalanna Rai]

Rai sighed as she walked down the tunnel, Din gliding along a few paces behind. My real Lair eh? She's got no clue, none at all. Still I don't like it when people try to blackmail me like that. Rounding a corner she came upon a set of stairs that led upwards. Following them she found the party she'd been tracking, minus D-Lotus, attempting to put IM back in his right mind.

"Hello all, once again we meet under strange circumstances. Where's D?" They all pointed to the doorway and Rai shuddered. "Oh sweet DM, you sent him in there! The last time I went in there I turned white for...well I suppose you took precautions."

"We blindfolded him." Rai shook her head.

"It won't be enough, not to withstand that." She swallowed hard. "I'm going in."

[D-Lotus]

Once again, as D-Lotus stepped into the room blind-folded, he had a wave of apprehension pass over him. Ignoring this now, D advanced through the room, his arms outstretched. The first thing that battered him was the horrible smell, as of rotting flesh. He grabbed in the air for the wall, to guide himself along. Secondly, he heard grunting and the sound of smacking, although it wasn't anything like Akon's* song envisions.

D-Lotus retreated against the near left corner of the room. On an impulse, he opened his blindfold, only a crack. What he saw... it was of a level of degenerate visual that cannot easily be described. A man was spanking himself with what appeared to be a paddle in the hand of a stuffed witch, Stoat. Shuddering, D-Lotus realized that the man, most probably General Powers, from a Greed story, was so involved in these...motions, that he hadn't noticed D. Looking beyond the enormous bed where these actions were being carried about, D spotted the door leading, he sensed, towards Key, or at least someone else who could help. The key was dangerously balanced at the edge of the bed, titilating in accord with the bed's motion.

Putting his blindfold on again, D rushed towards the bed and instinctively grabbed the key. Powers suddenly stopped and shouted something at D, but D had already reached the door and was unlocking it. But as he was pulling the door open, the other entrance door burst open, and Kalanna Rai poked her scaly red head in, searching for D with her eyes. Some primeval feeling took over D again, and he ran through the door, locking it behind him. He heard Powers begin to shout at Kalanna violently, angrily. Kalanna's silence seemed to indicate that she was somewhat intimidated, especially after having interrupted the privacy of his leisure.

D immediately began to look for a way out, before both the mods agreed on something.

"Hello." said a voice.

D looked around. Then he looked down at the key he still held in his hand. "Key?"
__

*The hip-hop singer

[Crunchyfrog]

Outside the room, IM looked around at Dinranwen, Crunchyfrog and Sasuke, as he could hear a strange knocking noise. At first he thought it might have been Kalanna banging at the door to come out. Then he realised it was Crunchyfrog's knees knocking together. The howling and shouting coming from within the room sounded terrifying.
The fact that Kalanna could no longer be heard was now even more terrifying....


* * *

Meanwhile, in the TI, Lordofthenight and Jezsharp quietly continued to watch closely for any change in Lebrenth's unconscious state after the administration of the purplish mossy smelling liquid.

They were unaware that plumes of fire were rising in the financial quarter of the city. The Bank of Chinaren had been looted, and the jubilant crowds, now enriched with thousands of fables stuffed into their pockets, clothes, bags and shoes, were marching through the city towards the Market Bizarre, to pillage his Avatar shop, with flame torches and makeshift placards, shouting "Down With Chinaren!! We Want A NEW MAYOR!!!" DOWN WITH CHINAREN!!!" "WE WANT A NEW MAYOR!!!"

The fog swirled around the crowds, whispering, suggesting, almost egging them on in their crazed revolt....

[LordoftheNight]

As they watched, Lebrenth's body began to twitch. His fingers trembling. The shivers continued up his limbs to his chest, until he entire body was shaking.

"You were right," spoke the Daemon in amusement. "This is fun." It was mere misfortune, prehaps, that at His words the unconcious moderator's twitchings became more violent. One of Lebrenth's nigh on flailing limbs came crashing against the Chanceller's leg, Jez leaping away just in time to avoid a similar blow.

"Prehaps I gave him a bit too much," the elf commented with a studical interest. "The potion is designed for elven-kind afterall, and a mortal body may suffer slightly modified effects."

"Really?" the Daemon replied, His voice dripping with sarcasum. "I assumed this was supposed to happen. Why administer potions to someone without the expectation of such a mishap?"

With the state his unconcious body was in, one could only assume what was happening within Lenrenth's mind, the inital target of the medicinal potion.

[JezSharp]

Lebrenth convulsed several times and turned green. On the plus side he had been jolted out of his far off RL coma. He sat up and blinked, staring at the smooth grey walls, lit by ever burning candles.

"Where am I...and why am I green?" he said incredulously.

"Oops" muttered Jez, "side affect of some of the fantasy plant matter, don't worry I have an antidote somewhere. Everything will hopefully be ok." With that the elf slipped back into his laboratory and started to rummage about for the antidote, returning within a minute with a red vial which he handed to Lebrenth who sniffed at it depreciatingly,

"It smells of rotten flesh," he said as he drunk it,

"Not far off," Jez replied, "it's made from the squeezed skin of a deer amongst other things, I think it was still within the sell by date...but I haven't checked for a while..." Lordy's grin increased slightly as he observed Lebrenth half-choke on the liquid, but it had the desired affect - within minutes Lebrenth was back to his usual color (assuming that is pinkish...).

"Ok," said Jez, "so in summary a sea of should has descended on the City stirring up anti Chinatic sentimentalities within the local populace with the mentioned target of such anger having temporarily vanished to an unknown destination...in which case I have places to go . . . either of you is welcome to join me but you'll have to decide now, or go and attend to whatever you need to do, is there anything else going on we should know of Lordy?"

The other two just about caught the last part of the speech, Lebrenth still letting the last of the first mixture clear away strands of RL from his head and Lordy still standing there like a grotesque statue, carved from chalk, of a medieval goth - the same half smile fixed upon his lips.

[LordoftheNight]

"From what Rai told me, MasterWeaver is causing trouble again. Apparently he's the one causing riots in the city. With the Mayor missing, and his Highness Kinky mainly away from the city, I suppose it falls to me to go and deal with them." The Daemon paused, as if considering His next words.

"I've had word that China might be away longer than expected. As the City Council members, it's best if we show a united front under such circumstances. Jez - could you and Lebrenth call a Council meeting?"

Still dizzy from the potion, Lebrenth stared blankly at the Daemon. Jez, on the other hand, nodded his consent.

"I can't do it now though - I've got places to go first," the elf replied, unwilling to explain the reasoning behind where he was traveling.

"That's probably for the best. Does five hours suit you? It'll also give the other members time to prepare - I need to know who started this, and what's causing it." He looked at the Skiffy councilor, who was still slightly out of it. "Lebrenth - you stay with Jez. I don't want you taking yourself out again."

[Kalanna Rai]

Rai lounged quietly on the large bed that had belonged to Key until a few minutes ago. It wasn't as bad as last time...not nearly. Bringing a talon up to her fangs she fished around a bit until she pulled out what was bothering her...a rubber mask that had until moments ago adorned the head of General Powers.

"A bit of a let down really...the man behind the mask really was quite bland and flavorless...unless you count the lingering taste of rubber." Sighing she rose off the bed gracefully and towards the door where D-Lotus had disappeared moments before. Assuming semi-human form, there was no two ways about this, she tried the knob. "Why do they always think locking it will keep me out? Don't they realize that you've got to have at least twenty levels of Rogue to be a decent assassin?"

Pulling out a set of custom lock picks from one of her mod jewels Rai inserted several into the lock, humming a cute tune as she swiveled them around. After only a few delicate motions she was rewarded by a soft click. "Bingo." Replacing the picks from whence they came, Rai walked into the room...and had to duck as D-Lotus swung down at her head with the massive key.

"Take that!" Reaching up and catching the unbalanced D in a rather nasty immobilization hold Rai hissed in his ear.

"Idiot! I'm the freaking rescue party!" After all she was going through to save his life...was it really worth it ?

[Idea master]

IM had finally managed to get his mind in the right order. It had taken some doing, but there was nothing one perversion couldn't do that another perversion couldn't undo. Mind, even that one second of Powers was enough of a solvent for most of his issues..

He heard a thumping noise. Kalanna Rai had just dragged D out from that cesspool of a room. IM noticed that D was completely out. "Was that absolutely required?"

"Probably not, but it made me feel better," Rai answered.

IM sighed and said, "Well, we're no closer to finding Key now."

"You called?"

Everyone looked about, seeing no additional people. IM hesitantly asked, "Key?"

"Down here."

Everybody looked at the prone figure of D. "No no, not D-Lotus! Me! I'm in his right hand!"

IM carefully picked up the key. "Key? Is that really you?"

"No, it's the invisible man! OF COURSE IT'S ME!"

IM frantically checked for his ancient spellbook. "Oh no. This can't be good."

"What?" CrunchyFrog asked.

"I've lost my ancient spellbook. If someone else picks it up and reads from it, then who knows what could happen? Plus, it's the only book I know of that can undo a transformation spell this powerful. I need to get it back!"

[Kalanna Rai]

Doing her absolute best not to grin, and succeeding, Rai returned to her dragon form before slowly looking at IM. "If I'm not much mistaken you did file a copy of that book with the IF Hazardous Items department." The dragoness grimaced; those damn gremlins in IFHI had been after her for months asking for permission to poke around in her Horde for contraband. Of course there was contraband in her Horde but that was beside the point.

"I'm also pretty sure these tunnels lead right under that wing of the Council Hall." Looking around Rai sniffed the air a bit and consulted her mod gem before finding the tunnel exit she was looking for. "Ah here it is...this way please." Picking up D in her jaws she headed off, the darkness bothering her not one bit.

[JezSharp]

Jez nodded as Lordy left and headed back up to the surface, and towards the Tourist Info portals. When he was sure he had left Jez turned to Lebrenth,

"Right, ok. We need to alert the Council that there will be a meeting in five hours, given that most council members are too busy dashing about to check their mail we'd better send out urgent messages at once...follow me." Lebrenth slowly got up and carefully followed Jez up the flight of stairs into the back of the Tourist Info booth. They walked past the mike to the far wall where Jez put his hand on the wall and mumbled a word, a trapdoor opened and a ladder fell from it.

"Can you make it up?" Jez asked Lebrenth, who nodded as his strength returned. It took a few minutes but he finally made it, stumbling into a cozy wooden room, with computers, a fridge and an assortment of games and sketches.

"Ok, you'll need to log onto the IF network as a guest," Jez yelled up from below...he waited a few minutes until he heard Lebrenth call down,

"Right I've written the messages, where should we meet?" Jez considered the question thoughtfully..."Given the anti-China sentiment I'd suggest Key's Palace or the Fantasy Forest - your call though, there's food in the fridge by the way."

"Food...why would..." With a hiss the ladder retracted and the trapdoor shut, as it did so Jez's voice echoed up from below,

"As I said I have somewhere to go, but you should be safe up there until I return." Then, swiveling on the spot Jez headed down into the depths of The Technical Institute, sealing the impenetrable door shut behind him, before heading to collect a very special object.

[dinranwen]

Din who was beginning to wonder if she really head back to Jester Park, obediently followed IM, Rai, D-lotus, Crunch-Frog, and a key that was claiming to Key himself. When Din threatened Rai, she hadn't really ment anything by it. Of course to really fullifill her threat she would of had to known where exactly Rai's lair was, and of course Din didn't actually know that.

But then again, Rai didn't like to be threatened, blackmailed, or any such things. On the other hand, if Din hadn't threatened to do exactly what she couldn't do under any circumstances, Rai wouldn't have let her gone anywhere. In fact if she hadn't threated her co-mod, Din imagined she would be chained to a chair in her office, locked in a closet, or chained to a wall if not all three. Rai never let her have any fun.

Rai thought she was harmless, helpless, and the comletly unable to harm a fly. 'And she's propably right,' Din thought to herself, 'but how is I am suspussed to learn if no one let's me have any fun?'

Making a mental note to apologize prefusly after this and perhaps giving Rai one of the rare objects Din kept in a secret hoard only she knew about, Din pushed off her thoughts and strood up the lovable frog known to her as Crunchy.

"So, Crunchy you mind telling me what has been happening in the city lately?"

"You don't know?" IM said raising his bushy eyebrows.

"I know a few details, but I am afraid I have been a little busy dealing with Jester Park rather than keeping up with city events, besides I was talking to Crunchy not you."

"Well, Din, this is what has happening....." Crunchy said as Din walked and listened to where ever the group was heading.

[Idea master]

IM tuned CruchyFrog and Dinranwen out as he jogged to catch up with Rai. "Hey, Rai, wait a second!"

IM huffed and puffed and caught his breath. "Have you had dealings with these little gnomes before? Can I actually get my book back from them?"

[Kalanna Rai]

"Sure you can...They'll give you a copy I'm sure. But you'll have to warn them you lost the original." Rai snorted, well not lost really.

Rai led them through a maze of underground passages, stopping every once and a while to check her mod gem and sniff the air. Finally she spit out D on the ground. "Right, IFHI is right above you guys. Din and I, however, are off to clean up Jester Park." Din nodded her hood. Turning the pair headed down a tunnel to the left.

They twisted downward through places long forgotten until suddenly Rai came to a halt. "Great my tail's stuck. Will you head through that archway up there? Jester Park is just on the other side. Go grab me a crowbar so I can get myself out." Din looked around a bit before scrabbling through the glowing archway. Rai felt bad for all of six seconds as a horrible scream filled the air.

Slowly stepping forward, her tail had never been trapped; Rai entered a place long forgotten by IF. There was no sign of Dinranwen. There was, however, a vial of something red floating in a column of light in the center of a round chamber. Reaching out and snagging it Rai chuckled to herself. "Sorry Din but threatening a dragon gets you nowhere."

Putting the vial into her gems Rai gathered herself up and quickly teleported back to her Council chambers. "Blood of the Beginning...check."

[Smudger]

A dim silhouette of a hunched figure shuffled along after Din and Rai. The figure stopped, wheezed, and continued his slow waddle forward.

"I'm getting too old for all this running, hiding and getting lost malarkay, I'm telling you."

He started advancing after the cloaked shadow and the giant dragon.

This is Smudger. The unknown linear mod who basically wrote one linear story, retired and spent all day in the tavern chatting.

When it was New Year he still stayed out the way. Not very sociable is Smudger. Too grumpy.

He saw the things happening and knew the best chance of survival was to follow the shadow and dragon. Simple.

But no. They had to vanish after the scream of Din. Smudger sighed. Why did I follow a dragon and a shadow? Safety? Rubbish, their gone now!

He bowed his head a dragged his foot along the tunnels in hope of finding a friendly IFian face, or at least a face anyway. Wait, I have that ring too!

Smudger thought hard about the Council Hall and being inside it. The ring glowed, got brighter. And brighter...

BANG!!!!

The ring and gem exploded on Smudger's hand. The hunchback hobbled in a circle screaming at his flaming hand. Linear always gets the duds...

[JezSharp]

JezSharp wandered down into the basement and along a series of tunnels until he reached the main room of the TI, filled with its bubbling simmering sprawl and passageways searing off left and right. Ever since he'd taken control of the TI it had been a permanent job of first tidying the place up and then expanding the tunnels. First from the fantasy forest to the basement, then to convenient out of the way places...of course those were hard to find unless you know where to go...which is why he had needed the map.

He took it now from one of the many hidden compartments and wandered down a varying maze of tunnels and secret doors until he came upon a troll workforce, recruited from the depths of the fantasy forest (who were responsible for the tunnel from there to the TI and then the subsequent tunneling). The trolls looked up as he arrived holding the parchment,

"Break now?" Grunted one of the brighter ones, Jez sighed, the amount of fungus he'd had to pick recently was annoyingly inconvenient - but it was the only way to motivate them to work.

"Yes," he replied, "you can have an hour's break and the grub is in the usual place." Staring at the map again he tried to estimate how close they were to breaking through - a couple of days perhaps.... Jez rolled the map up wondering if anyone had yet discovered the one he'd left had been a fake...

[dinranwen]

Din, upon entering the mysterious room had stepped right onto...nothing. Screaming as she fell down the nearly bottomless hole, Din made a few mental notes to herself, most of them never, ever, ever, again threatening Rai again.

A few her thoughts however were about the next time she wanted to do something adventurous...she would go clean Solomon's Birch's Old place. Now there was an adventure.

A few quadrillion, million, thousand feet later, Din landed with a resounding thump onto something hard.

Sparring an soft ouch, Din lost all consciousness.

~ ~ ~
Groaning. Din opened one eye weakly and took a look around. Although her vision was somewhat dark, spotted, and fuzzy, Din made out a room very similar to the Chat room. A tavern filled with unending barrels of varying liquid substances, soft couches, stools, and tables was filled with a mixed group of characters. The people in the room were unfamiliar to her, but Din got the vague impression that these people were once from If, although she didn't know why. Maybe it was because the Tavern Sign was labeled Ye Old Ifian Tavern Club....free unending drinks for the rest of eternity!

Licking her chapped lips, Din eased herself off the floor and onto a stool. As she placed her hood in her hands Din muttered, "Somehow I don't think Rai is going to accept an apology."

"Um excuse me." Said a voice Din vaguely recognized. Turning, Din realized it was indeed a familiar face. Well, two faces actually.

"Rave, Wing!" Din shouted standing up and giving the black and white twins a hug. "I haven't seen you in ages. I so glad you're not dead. I am so glad that I am not dead."

"But Dinranwen," Wing said,

"That's what we want to talk to you about."

"Your not supposed to be here."

"Your status is very much alive."

"But you have been untimely killed by Rai."

"So you're dead."

"Only you're not."

"So you're not supposed to be here."

"Only you are."

"Girls!" Din shouted, "One at a time please, I have this huge headache, and feel like I'm bruised all over. Now will someone please tell me where in the world I am?"

"But your not in the World."

"Your in the underworld."

"And your dead."

"But she's active." Rave argued.

"But her body's dead." Wing returned.

Din sighed this may take awhile, and decided to go around in the bar in search for someone (preferably not drunk) who could tell her where she was, what was going on, and how she get out of this place.

She found her answer in the most unusual of places. Sitting in a corner with two wenches on his lap in all his mummy wrapped glory was a user named Muaddib.

"What's up Din?"

"Uh the ceiling!"

"Very funny," Muaddib chuckled, "Welcome to the realm of Dead Ifians directly under the Soul Well. May I congratulate you for coming to the Tavern?"

[Kalanna Rai]

Rai snoozed gently on her massive pile of gold. It had taken a lot out of her to cross into the Blood Sanctum...even after Din had been so kind as to take the kill hit for her. A chime sounded and she cracked open an eye blearily. "This had better be good."

Getting off her Horde, taking care to scrape off any stuck on gold coins, she walked out into her living/dining room. Opening the door she found a small PM had been left on a silver plate. It was bent and squashed as if it had come through places it shouldn't have. Scrawled on it were two words in Lebrenth's handwriting. 'Help Me.'

Flipping it over to see if it had any valuable information Rai discovered that there was to be a Council Meeting in the confines of Jester Park. "Oh excellent. I wonder if anyone will notice Din is missing...oh Drat! I told them I was going off with her to clean." With another quick hop Rai looked around Jester Park..."Well this isn't going to get done if I just stare at it."

[Idea master]

IM pointed his hands upwards and let loose a small blast. The tunnel's ceiling exploded upwards, showering the occupants with a small coating of dust. IM pulled himself up and helped everyone else up through the hole he'd created, and looked around. He was reminded very strongly of Gringotts bank. IM walked over to the head gnome's desk.

"Are you the one who demolished our floor? You will fix it, yes?"

IM sighed at the wheedling tone of the gnome. "If you're lucky, and I'm in a good mood, then yes, I'll fix it. Otherwise I'll demolish you before I leave. Now. I lost a spellbook and am seeking a replacement."

"Really? Which spellbook of yours is lost?"

"It has no title, its cover is made from the blackest charred skin I could find, and it's held shut by an intricate locking system made from mythril."

The head gnome trawled through a massive tome. "Ah yes, we do have a copy of that particular book. I'll have it sent to you while destroying the old one so that nobody can use it."

Thus saying, the head gnome pushed a button. Far away, the old book exploded and imploded in flames. Then a small little gnome went scurrying down a tunnel in an effort to find a new book. "In the meantime, I suggest you all go home."

IM sighed and turned around. "My house is safest, you all can bunk with me."

[D-Lotus]

In the darkness, D-Lotus suddenly saw a light. From that light poured forth images, millions of images flashing by, creating a movie, a realistic animation. They were pictures of his life. His mother smiling at him tenderly, his childhood, playing with a ball among the high grass. There was a brief image of a dragoness, but it went by quickly. And then, D saw something that frightened him. And he knew the truth.

Somehow, being knocked unconscious for the second time was bringing all of his memories back to life. Everything was streaming before his eyes. Everything, including the terrible secret he had discovered, and his emnity with BS. He'd asked for Polokin's help to face the ordeal, but he'd never explained. He'd wanted to tell Polokin about the horrible secret, but he feared his friend would become too involved. Then, before New Year's, D and Polokin had an argument that distanced them... D suddenly realized where he had been going to on New Year's. He hadn't been going to the celebrations; he'd... if only he could tell his companions.

Specks of light began swirling, until D thought he could see Crunchyfrog's worried face. He remembered the truth about Crunchyfrog too. But then it all blacked out again, submerging him in a dismal torrent of thoughts and darkness...

[Polokin]

"Where did he go?" Polokin asked, looking around, "Wasn't he there a second ago?"

"Yes," said BS with an odd expression on his face, "Oh well."

"Never mind that, I have a plan. How about I go undercover? D doesn't know that I'm helping you. I could be your... spy." Polokin said mischievously.

"Good idea... I have no idea where he could be though. You'll have to ask around. Anyway, you'll need this." BS threw Polokin a small, blue, luminous ball. "Use it to call me here." He turned to leave.

"Wait," Polokin caught the ball and looked down at it, "How do I use this?"

"Just throw it against the ground and say 'BStheGreat'" he called.

Polokin looked up from the ball but he was gone. Polokin put the ball in his pocket and set off to find D and the group

[JezSharp]

Jez wandered back into the main TI laboratories, then realised he hadn't thought to take copies of the map, which he proceeded to do, backing them up into his computers hard drives, and onto a set of disks which he hid away. It's time to release the original now then... he thought, and wondered where exactly it should turn up. Chinaren Hall...no too much danger of it being trampled by the mob, Key's Palace...a little creepy and I haven't got a tunnel leading directly in there - and I'd rather not give it to Rai or Lordy...I know, the City Council Hall.

Jez slipped away into the tunnels, soon emerging from the basement of a run down house a street away - wearing a dark hooded cloak over his suit. Quickly he slipped unnoticed into the hall and, wiping the document of any fingerprints, left it lying on China's seat. Then he slipped away into the fog, holding his ears and focusing his mind away from the whispering mists as he descended beneath the town to obscurity.

[Crunchyfrog]

Wow, things are happening so quickly now... better do another one of these... :D

The Story So Far...

What a day... what a night it had been....

During the New Year celebrations in the City of IF, there had been an almighty flash of lightning. IFians had been seen fleeing in all directions. As the sun rose, a strange fog hung over the city.

The Master Map of the City (later discovered to be a fake) was stolen during the New Year celebrations. It was discovered shoved down the back of Crunchyfrog's pants - and Crunchyfrog was discovered clinging to a ledge on a cliff face in the gorge, which happened to be the entrance to a labyrinth of tunnels, with no memory of how he got there.

D-Lotus, Private Investigator, also found himself on the ledge, suffering from amnesia, and he, along with Masterweaver and Crunchyfrog, attempted to use the map to navigate through the labyrinth. They did not get very far because

1. The map was a fake, and
2. Kalanna snatched it from them and took it back to the city, leaving them to find their own way out.

Unknown to D, Crunchy and Masterweaver, she did not return it but instead kept it and provided a copy to Lordofthenight, with areas marked on it. Hmmmm....

D, Crunchy and Masterweaver discovered that the labyrinth contained the Soul Well. The Soul Well was created some time previously, when several thousand 'soulless IFians' were exorcised from the city. After the Mass Exorcism, Chinaren, the Mayor, had performed the Ceremony of Release, casting the exorcised souls into the Wells. This was secretly witnessed by Sasuke, a half breed dragon, who had been living in the labyrinth. He is searching for the identity of his father.

During their attempt to get back to the city, D discovered that BStheGreat has a long time grudge against him that he wished to settle, and was out hunting for him. Since D had no memory, he had absolutely no idea why.

On returning to the city, D examined the fog more closely and discovered that it was a manifestation of the Souls from the Well. Whispers from within the fog were whipping the citizens of IF into a frenzied mob, against Mayor Chinaren, causing them to randomly rampage the streets, destroying Chinaren's Mayoral mansion and businesses. Chinaren did not appear to be at home.

Returning to the city with D, Sasuke and Crunchyfrog were Masterweaver, and Xansta, although they are now separated from the group.

Polokin, an IFian who had been approached for help prior to the start of the story by both BStheGreat and by D, pledged his allegience to BSthegreat.

Once they returned to the city, D-Lotus, Sasuke and Crunchyfrog told Ideamaster about their concerns about Kalanna's behaviour, and their adventures, hoping he could help them. IM decided they should go and find Key. During their search, IM carelessly dropped his spell book.

They found Key, in the form of a key, lying on the floor of his sleeping quarters in the Royal Palace. They rescued him, but not before having to deal with some rather fruity behaviour from a character named General Powers.

Although Kalanna assisted in retrieving Key, and in rescuing D from Key's bedchamber, she then went on to sacrifice Dinranwen for a vial of red liquid, muttering the phrase "Blood of the Beginning...check."

The only possible witness to this horrific act might have been Smudger, the old hunchback in the tunnels, but was he close enough behind them to see?

Up until recently, D had been suffering from amnesia, and was beginning to recover some of his 'special powers', his sixth sense, his reflex actions, and his sleuth sense... During his attempt to rescue Key, the second blow to his head helped D-Lotus regain some of his longer term memory.

This could prove worrying for Lordofthenight and Kalanna Rai, as there are allusions to other, more important things that he has witnessed, or has been investigating, which could eventually prove to be a problem for them. They are concerned that he does not remember a particular event or something.

Lordy revealed he had plans for D-Lotus, as a 'test subject'... The other selected 'test subjects' being Sasuke and Masterweaver.
Kalanna's mission, was to guide the three 'test subjects' in the right 'directions', for whatever dastardly reasons, as yet unrevealed.

Meanwhile, in the TI, Lebrenth, the Skiffy moderator, was recovering from the effects of the mists of the Dream Chamber. Under Lordofthenights direction, Jezsharp, the Tourist Information elf, had been nursing him to his senses. But Jez had plans of his own.

Jez had been in possession of the REAL Master Map for some time. It was he who switched it for the fake (the fake being stolen during the New Year party) Using the map he has created a huge warren of tunnels under IF, starting from his modest abode underneath the Tourist Information booth. His warren was almost complete...

Now he had made copies of the Master Map, he returned the Original Master Map to Council hall, leaving it on Chinaren's chair...

* * *

Currently Lebrenth is imprisoned in a sealed room in Jezsharp's Tourist Info abode. He has sent a PM to Kalanna simply saying "Help Me"

Jez is returning to the TI from the Council Hall.

D, IM, Crunchyfrog and Sasuzke, after visiting the IFHI to order a new copy of IM's spell book, have been advised by the IFHI gnomes to go back to IM's house.

Polokin, who has parted company with BS for now, is tailing D, under cover. He has a way of summoning BS when the time is right, and still has something in his pocket, as yet unrevealed.

Xansta, who D, Crunchyfrog, Masterweaver and Sasuke had encountered near Jester Park on their escape from the labyrinth has just fallen through a trap door into some kind of a palace or castle dungeon. (Xansta was an IFian from before the Mass Exorcism, but was somehow affected by it. He/she was trapped in the labyrinth and only escaped recently, and had no interaction with any IFian since that time)

Smudger is running around in circles in a tunnel underneath the Royal Palace, with a burnt hand, after his IFian ring exploded. He gets all the luck.

Masterweaver, is somewhere near the Open Forum, and has been accosted by a strange armoured figure claiming to be Chinaren.
Whether this is really Chinaren, or another of his many delusions, or an imposter, is yet to be revealed.

Lordofthenight, who advised Jez that he had had word that Chinaren would be away for some time yet, has decided to call a Council Meeting, to show a united front under the prevailing circumstances. The meeting is to be in Jester Park.

Kalanna, having to interrupt her mission for now, is in Jester Park, cleaning it up quickly before the Council Meeting is due to convene, and is wondering how to explain Dinranwen's disappearance.

Dinranwen, however, although having been tricked by Kalanna to falling into an abyss, is still active, and in the Realm of Dead IFians, directly under the Soul Well. There she has been reunited with old friends such as Wing, Rave, and Muaddib...


Chapter 5 - Revelations and Alliances

[Kalanna Rai]

Rai sat back against a stone wall in Jester Park cracking a whip as several Oompa Loompas finished tidying everything up. "Right then you lot...back to the Guildhall." The small orange men gave her a few glares but stomped off cheerfully enough...the dragoness had let them out into the open air for a few minutes after all.

Her gem flashed and, looking around to make sure she was still alone, she put up a privacy shield and answered it. The grinning face of Lordy met her gaze. "Taking a risk aren’t you?"

"I trusted you'd have the discretion to take the necessary precautions." She wanted to wipe the smirk off his face but instead waited for him to tell her what was so important. "I've just happened to find the Master Map in the Council Hall." Rai's crest raised high.

"I doubt it." She hissed as Lordy winked.

"Smooth your scales. Everything's going according to plan...the enchantments show it's been copied." Rai snickered. Some poor sap had fallen right into Lordy's trap.

"Wonder what'll happen when he actually tries to use that?"

[Smudger]

Smudger beat the ground repeatedly with his burning hand until the flames went out. This is NOT my day.

Smudger got to his feet, staring at his charred hand. I should be screaming in agony right now. Well, why don't you? Well I'm not in the mood, I'd rather be shouting at the Council on testing prototypes on me.

Smudger trudged forward, heading for the exit to get to the Council Hall. He suddenly remembered the scream. Din's scream. And Rai muttering something. Hmmm...

Smudger looked down the giant hole. Damn that's deep. Shall I go all bravado here? Yeah...why not!

Smudger starts clinging to the rock and starts to descend crying at the top of his voice," The bells! The bells!"

Smudger grabs hold of a rock, slips and starts falling.

"Oh F....

[Kalanna Rai]

Lordy shrugged. "I've no idea really. I actually hope they do. It might be interesting. Still I do hope you've been keeping it safe?" Rai snarled at the arrogant demon.

"You stick to the plotting. I'll stick to guarding the things we need. That was the agreement was it not?" The demon inclined his head. "For your information once I claimed the fake planted on Crunchy I retrieved it from my Hoard and it hasn't left my side since."

"And the Blood."

"None of your business demon. When the time comes it will be available." Lordy glared at her.

"Remember who you're dealing with dragoness." Rai glared right back.

"I do, every second of the day demon. Forgetting is not something I have the luxury of in this particular case. You take care of your end, I'll take care of mine...Oh and it seems Lebrenth is in trouble."

"Then go fetch him...and stay alert. Whoever copied the 'map' is going to try and use it." Before Rai could say anything else the connection broke. Fuming the dragoness tapped her talons together.

"Now where could Lebby be...ah yes I remember."

[dinranwen]

Din who had been soothing her sore spirits and even sore body with the giant bottomless cup of tea the bar tender just knew was specially made just for her. Of course it didn't help that the cup was marked in Din's own personal signature in her own personal runes...but still.

Well, anyway she had been drinking her cup of tea when all of a sudden she heard a thump that sounded vaguely familiar, and puff there was Smudger right exactly where Din had been moments before.

The barkeeper, an ifian from the way old days given Din didn't recognise his name signed on his apron, hastily checked his notebook.

"Smudger, aka Greame, hunchback, Grumpy, socialist/communist...wait a minute he's not supposed to be in here! Active Guest everyone, on their feet."

Rave and Wing hurried over to Smudge to explain how he wasn't supposed to be there. Gazing around from her seat, Din decided that as much as she was enjoying her cup of tea, it was time to do something about her situation.

So, looking around Din spotted Muadib emerging from the back with his two wenches after doing whatever exactly he did with wenches...Din shook off the unwelcome thought and slid off her stool with a grace that only came with being familiar with shadows. Strangely, out of all the outcasts and ingrates in the Bar, Muadib was the only that showed some sense...which was saying something.
Slipping up the hood of her cloak, which seemed to have repaired itself after her unfortunate demise, Din slid onto the stool across from Muadib.
"Muadib." Din purred. "I think we should talk."

[JezSharp]

Jez returned to the main chamber and switched on the computer, looking again in close detail at the map and the various places marked upon it. One place had stood out like a sore thumb...which was exactly why he wasn't tunnelling there for now. There were far more quiet and peaceful places to open out tunnels into...currently for instance, the Archives; a treasure hoard of lost books. Who knew what one might find in such a forgotten place - and he should arrive any day now.

He looked again at the map, that other place has definitely been added in recently, and the way its marked, and the fact that it's description includes words such as 'powerful, important, no one must approach', all highly persuasive - as though someone wants that place to be uncovered. I'd make such a place insignificant if it was really so important Jez shrugged, as info mod he liked info, but such a love had allowed him to sense that sometimes info must be gleaned more cautiously. I think I have a reasonable plan, he thought as he edited a copy of the map so that it showed only directions to the 'top secret' place, adding in the words 'treasure' for added effect, then printed out a dozen copies. Then whistling he moved silently upstairs to the Tourist Info booth.

Reaching the inner booth he heard the sounds of someone moving upstairs, shoot, I completely forgot I left Lebrenth up there, Jez thought as he hurried over and released the ladder down.

[Kalanna Rai]

Rai was winging her way toward TI when her gems started going crazy. Unauthorised user eh? "Implement system lockdown." Rai grinned to herself. Jez was going to have kittens when he finally figured out what had happened. Until then..."Looks like TI is mine."

Landing she easily passed all of Jez's precautions and barriers, after all they were only allowing 'authorised users' past. Sniffing the air, and using her mod gem, Rai wandered through the twisting hallways. "Hmm... this is all rather recent...Jez has been busy." Rounding a corner she found none other than the elf himself, bashing desperately against a key pad, a bunch of papers under his arm.

He jerked his head around as Rai's shadow fell over him, a few papers drifting to where the dragoness could easily read them. "Rai! What are you doing here? Didn't you hear about..."

"Oh yes I did hear about the Council meeting...but I'm much more interested in these clearly doctored Master Map copies...and I'm sure you're much more interested as to why TI no longer responds to you. Well it's like this. That map had certain enchantments on it to prevent unauthorised use and since I'm one of only three people authorised I know who the other two are. You're not one of them Jez so I've shut your system down and taken control."

She yanked open the door in front of them, pulling Lebby out and shoving Jez in. "Have a nice day."

[Idea master]

IM sat in silent contemplation. In one day he'd found an old friend, heard of the disaster, issued near-illegal weaponry, stolen a car, and burst into Key's mansion, all to find a key that was Key transformed. It all seemed familiar somehow...

Everybody else was in the guest wing of his mansion. The traps had been recalculated so that nobody would lose an arm or a leg. IM, however, was in his secret room that functioned as his lair of plotting and brooding. He tapped one liquid crystal computer screen, and it came to life.

"Search Archives."

The Archives of the City came up with a list of stories, most of them completed.

"Find any instances where Key was transformed. Cross-reference results with City of IF references."

The computer whirred a moment, then came back with only one result.

"Hmm... The True Story of the City of I(nter)F(able)..."

IM greedily read the story, absorbing every word, every plot nuance, every detail. When he was done, dawn was breaking.

"So. Key's been transformed again, and someone or something is playing us for fools. But who?"

IM cast his mind back to what CrunchyFrog's (or was it D's?) words from long ago...

We gave the map to Rai. She seemed very upset about it...

"No," IM said. "It couldn't be. Then again, what does one expect of an assassin dragoness? Computer, lock down mansion. Complete seal from outside world. Unauthorised access to be punishable by death. Only authorised people are ones currently inside it. Open tunnel to the Dead Ones and the Dream Chamber."

The mansion's many doors and windows slammed shut, and laser turrets sprung out of every hallway and every room. On the outside, turrets sprung up as well with only five feet between each one. They crawled along the walls like some infectious disease.

At IM's feet, two sections of the floor opened up, one going straight down, and the other curving away to some unknown destination. Five sets of bungee rope and five gas masks dropped from the ceiling as well. IM could only hope that none of his guests panicked.

A screen flickered on, with the head Gnome. "We can't deliver like this, you know."

IM tapped a few buttons. Now delivery gnomes could enter. He then said, "Now you can," before snapping the connection shut to check on his guests.

[D-Lotus]

Tendrils of darkness surrounded D-Lotus yet. Sparkling words and gleaming pictures ran in circles inside his head against the dark background, etching themselves into his memory, never to be forgotten. He watched the vivid stories and flowing emotions, once and once more again. The cycle continued, never tiring. But tiredness did grip D in its unyielding fist, and he struggled to be free from his prison of truth. A chair came into focus, and then dissolved into blackness.

If only, if only... but his mind gloom would not relent.

[Kalanna Rai]

Rai was very pleased with herself as she flew back to Jester Park, Lebby settled between her shoulders. "At this rate I'm going to work off all that weight I gained during Christmas for the past ten years."

"Was that really necessary Rai? Locking Jez in like that?" Rai took a moment to glance at her passenger.

"Yup. Oh and did you know IM has locked himself in?" Lebby glanced at his ring confirming her statement. "Yeah just got that message myself...I think he might be onto me."

"You'd better tell Lordy."

"I don't think so. IM doesn't worry me...After all I've got a copy of his book." Opening her gem she cursed as she found only ash where she had placed the book. "Gem, reconstruct...I don't care how long it takes just do it." Rai needed that book. Without it she wouldn't have as much of an advantage over IM as she hoped.

"Oh but let's look on the bright side Lebby. Lordy's Command and Control enchantment on the map worked to a charm."

[Lebrenth]

Lebrenth looks back at the impenetrable door to TI stands defiantly beside the gaping hole in the wall where Kalanna Rai crashed through. But something else seems to have shaken Lebrenth up. He wavers in a Captain Jack Sparrow sort of way. She wonders if she can believe anything that he says. He has a strange scent on his breath, a mixture of unusual ingredients... a potion of some sort.

"Sorry for the rushed message… I got the creeps. I was browsing... nothing unusual, but I found a program protected by a time-sensitive password, a retinal scanner, fingerprint analyser, DNA coders, and a riddle.... I wasn't going to even try, but then a window popped up and words appeared on it: 'Let me show you,' it said."

Rai waits for the punchline.

"I started feeling chills, and kept looking behind me, because I felt someone was in that tiny wooden room with me.... Whatever it was, it bypassed the protections and started the program. More than a hundred screens appeared of different places in IF, a vast network of cameras spying on citizens and moderators everywhere....

"The words on the window wrote: 'Here.' And a recording enlarged and showed me New Year's Eve at the palace. It was nearly midnight and everyone was there... well there were a few people missing, I wasn't there of course... and I don't think I saw you...."

"No I wasn't there, you know that. Just tell me what you saw."

Jezsharp presses his ear against the door listening for sound outside before getting out. He holds an empty bottle in his hand. Apparently Lebrenth drank another one of his concoctions from the fridge. Must have thought it was a root beer. Anyway the reaction should be interesting.

[Kalanna Rai]

Rai snapped her fingers in front of Lebby's face a couple of times. "You don't look right Lebs...you sure you okay." She caught the scent of something sickly-sweet on the wind. Landing back in Jester Park Rai watched him collapse in a heap on the ground. Taking a good whiff she pulled back.

"Great, not only do you really need to wash that Robe of Foreboding but someone has gone and poisoned you with Nightwing juice...I'm putting my money on Jez." She'd seen all those bottles in that room..."And I don't happen to have the antidote on me. Oh well desperate times..." Rummaging in her gem she pulled out a tacky green liquid which she rubbed into his scalp. "This should help until I can get some."

[Idea master]

IM knew that by now his book would have been found, and as such, his mansion would be penetrable. He hesitated, his hand over the one button he hoped he'd never have to push ever again...And then did so.

As the Mod over the Games district, IM had various devices at his disposal for calming down the inhabitants. The reverse was also true in the sense that he had many devices to flood the forums with the inhabitants of the Games district. What IM had just done was push the button that would knock out the walls of the Games district, allowing all and any characters free reign over the city. That ought to distract Rai long enough so that she wouldn't be looking in his direction.

IM rushed to his guests. "Don't panic, we're completely secure here, and nothing of mine will kill you. We only have a limited time. Sasuke, I'll need your help. CrunchyFrog and D, stay back, you don't want to inadvertently interrupt this."

IM steered the young half-dragon to the centre of the room. "What are we doing?" Sasuke asked.

"I am going to be casting a Finding and Replacement spell at the same time. I may need your innate power to help me achieve this. I'm going to find my book and give whoever has it a nasty surprise."

IM placed another book in front of him and began the spell weaving. The others looked closely at the book in question and Sasuke gasped. "Not...the Necronomicon!"

"Shh! And I've enhanced it. The poor sap that reads THIS will be forced to read it aloud until their untimely demise, which, considering the nature of the book, could be rather quick."

IM once more began the spell weaving.