City of IF

LordoftheNight · Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5241 Location: Hell

Not all storygames have to completely follow the 'correct' guidelines. Look at Power's 'Dear Dotty' which had no polls at all, and simply had Dotty answering the reader's 'letters'.

As an idea to bring it to a nice, readable standard - one person could pierce together an actual chapter from this (or rather, I think it's four chapters by now). Edit out the parts that we agree don't make sense, remove blaring continuity errors. Remove Lecro full- stop - that sort of thing.

Currently I expect the story would fail the review, purely due to various spelling errors and the like.

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

Not my fault on the spelling!

Everybody seems to pin leq to me, so I will neither deny nor confirm it.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: Hollywood, USA

Yes, but think about it, this thread is one of the most popular in the site. It is definately not a new storygame, I think it deserves better. I mean, we're just asking for a spot under the normal forum, which isn't so much to ask. Of course, another option would be to purchase a forum...

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

Welcome aboard Din!

I'm working on a summary right now, and will get it up some time this weekend so you wont have to go trawling through the whole thread.

One of the rules of contribution is to keep posts to around 250 words or less, so that co-authors can keep up quickly. But since this is your initial post so far into the story, that's ok!!!

* * *

Lordy, if spelling is the only thing that is keeping this from being submitted and moved, then let's all get it sorted. How is this best done? Do we just all go back and edit our own posts? Or does someone with editing rights go through the entire thread?

I will read through and alert you of some of the more ridiculous continuity stuff that might need editing, although most of it has been handled 'in story' already, so if you remove the 'stupid post', you would also have to edit the 'patch up' post.

I will name the chapters at the summary points, too, if that helps.

As for buying a forum - I dont have that sort of money, let alone the 300F fine that I will get if this doesn't pass the review board. So it's just stuck here, I guess...

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

Another thing which I think is very important now, important enough to put in a seperate post:

We all need to be hinting a little more about what one another are doing. This is NOT an RPG, and some of us are kind of playing it like one.

Look back at some of your co-author's posts. For example, way back, Kalanna mentioned there was something in her hoard, she kept checking back on. It's obviously still there. What might it be?

Lordofthenight wants D and two others for test subjects. What for? And what is it that Kalanna is so worried about that D might remember something, that she just doesn't want to have anything to do with?

This discussion thread, was set up for that purpose. For example:

I know that Polokin and BS are out hunting for D, for their own reasons. Kalanna is also out hunting for D for her reasons.

The authors should be trading hints, either here or by PM - I am not aware of what either party has in store for D plotwise, but what might happen if the two join forces? What might happen if they decide to fight over D?

If hints are traded here, it also helps the rest of the co-authors, as we weave our plots around the whole story.

It looks very much to me that D-Lotus is emerging in the central 'hero' role - it is definite that BS is a baddie, and it is looking increasingly like Lordy and Kalanna are up to no good also.

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

Ohhh....

I, though intelligent, am still new. I have no history with the city, so I'm just pointing things out.

Also, I seem to be subject to quite a few delusions of ever-increasing magnitude...

Lebrenth · Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Posts: 672 Location: Auburn, WA

Crunchy Frog has been working very hard on this and hasn't been making any Fables for it. I'm donating 100 Fables to him and encourage others to do the same so that he can afford a review.

Well Done CF

Edit: Wait, first one's free, yeah? Oh well, have some Fables anyway.

Polokin · Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 12:10 pm Post subject:

First time Authors still get their First storygame for free. :D Therefore don't need to donate 500F. However, if their Review fails, they will need to donate 300F each time it fails for the admin costs.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: Hollywood, USA

Well, I guess I might pose the question here.

BS mentioned a while back that D-Lotus had some sort of 'powers', and somebody else mentioned it later as well. I tried to expand on this by having IM mention it in one of my posts. D (the character) doesn't remember any of this, though. But as he slowly begins remembering things, he also begins developing skills. So far, D has remembered his old reflexes, especially at shooting, and he has also recovered his 'spider senses', which I called 'sleuth sense'. He has a sixth sense with which he can detect foraneous carachters following him, etc. But other than that, I'm not sure what else. There has to be something in those powers that is making him a target? What is it that D has that everyone is afraid/wants to get rid of him? Any ideas?

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

Not pyeokenisis. Xansta's got that already.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

Summary is up - please let me know of any inaccuracies, or if anything important or any character has been missed out, and I will edit it in.

Thanks!

:)

Polokin · Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 12:44 pm Post subject:

The only characters I could see that were missing were me and BS, but apart from that, nice summary ;)

Edit: What I meant was, that in the second part of the summary, when you talked about who's where, we wern't mentioned.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

*checks back*

You are both there, Polokin, in para 7, the one that starts 'D is suffering from amnesia' - it also talks about your hidden item in your pocket. ;)

I've actually edited some more bits into it, that I missed - the fact that Kalanna has IM's book of spells, Din has been dealing with some interesting stuff in Jester Park for the last 10 hours, and that IM's initial reaction to D's revelations was to go and find Key.

There's tons of detail laid down in the story, and I dont necessarily know what is significant and what is not, so if there's anything else that anyone thinks should be made more prominent in the summary, please let me know!

:)

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

Welcome aboard Smudger!!!

I dont know how close behind Kalanna and Dinranwen your character might have been, but I am hoping that your character might have witnessed something.

About killing co-authors characters - I dont know whether Kalanna and Din collaborated Din's demise, but it brings up a good point:

If you think another co-author's character's death will be pivotal to the plot, please ask that co-author's permission before killing their character off. ;)

OK since there have been two rather significant plot twists, involving the map and the Realm of Dead IFians, another summary has gone up.

It's completely rewritten so please check through it and make sure it is accurate, and nothing important to the plot, or any characters have been left out.

There is a lot to track, here! :D

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

Has everybody forgotten about me?

Somebody, please, take the role of the armored figure!

dinranwen · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:17 am Post subject:

No, my 'death' was quite unexpected for me, but I figured I could use it to my advantage.

Thus I am now in the company of well known figures, albiet dead, and I am in a stargetic position beneath the Soul Well, if I choose to use it.

Which begs the question: Just how will I get back to life? And what will happen when and If I do? In the meantime, what will I learn about the souls who inhabit the wells?

That is for me to know and you to find out, but I up for suggestions in case anybody has any.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

I think yours is an excellent position, and an excellent plot twist, Din! I had drawn a blank for ideas for a few days until I saw that, and now my head is spinning with them again. :D Including an idea for Masterweaver's armour clad friend.... dont worry MW, he is not forgotton.... :D

Smudger · Joined: 11 Jul 2006 Posts: 382 Location: Writers Block R Us

Thank you for the welcome Crunchy, glad to be in such an innovative idea :D .

I'll see what comes to me in writing my next installment whether to say I saw Rai or not, or go help Din, either way.

JezSharp · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:09 pm Post subject:

Ok Rai...a number of problems:

1) I'd already left the Technical Institute, and was in Tourist Info - I was not typing or viewing anything but releasing Lebby at the time.

2) I would love to know how scanned software can have 'magical enchantments' and how such enchantments can systematically affect all individual door passwords which are not connected to the main computer. This seems mildly ridiculous...also considering the map was actually in the TI when you last burst into the Tourist Info booth it's surprising the crystal didn't go off then! (And I could quite easily have accepted such a tracking device being on your person - that could locate the origional map, or even some enchnatment that perhaps that the map itself went blank if its unauthorised use was happening). I also find it hard to accept that scanned copies of a map can be 'enchanted' and then used to affect the running of a computer system!! This is moving to the point of madness...unless you're claiming that you now suddenly have the power to rule over and close down other moderators sectors Rai?

3) Following on from 2) the doors should not then be open and are impenetrable in this case that does mean dragon/thief assassin proof, as I had you in mind. You cannot have entered the Technical Institute, I can accept that the origional map when used may have left an enchanted trail that your device could pick up (althougth why did it not notice it when you last visited?). I can also accept you 'rescuing' Lebby althougth he was being released anyway by me at the time you arrived.

As you can tell I'm perhaps a little annoyed, it seems as though you are God - modding a lot of the story as an invinicble dragon who no - one can stop in any way possible and who must win in nearly any scenario. I admit to God - modding to a degree, most RP players do - but yours is more than a little excessive at times.

LordoftheNight · Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5241 Location: Hell

JezSharp wrote:
1) I'd already left the Technical Institute, and was in Tourist Info - I was not typing or viewing anything but releasing Lebby at the time.

Yes, that could be a problem. It could probably be fixed with some simple editting on Rai's part though.

Quote: 2) I would love to know how scanned software can have 'magical enchantments' and how such enchantments can systematically affect all individual door passwords which are not connected to the main computer. This seems mildly ridiculous...also considering the map was actually in the TI when you last burst into the Tourist Info booth it's surprising the crystal didn't go off then! (And I could quite easily have accepted such a tracking device being on your person - that could locate the origional map, or even some enchnatment that perhaps that the map itself went blank if its unauthorised use was happening). I also find it hard to accept that scanned copies of a map can be 'enchanted' and then used to affect the running of a computer system!! This is moving to the point of madness...unless you're claiming that you now suddenly have the power to rule over and close down other moderators sectors Rai?

I must admit, it is unlikely that Jez scanning his version of the map would alert you Rai, or that you'd be able to go through TI/IT. Of course, some people may have moderator power over other moderator's sectors, but I don't believe you are one of them.

The trouble is Jez, was there anyone else who knew of your plan? The way we've been doing it - Rai and I - is to let Crunchy (as the original author) know what we've been planning throughout, and how it's working. If you had spoken to her, some of the confusion could have been avoided.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: Hollywood, USA

Quote: This will hopefully please him, as BStheGreat has a long time grudge against him he wishes to settle, and, assisted by Polokin, is hunting for him. D-Lotus cannot for the life of him remember why.

This, and some subsequent parts of the summary are somewhat disconnected or unclear. They concern D and his memories, mostly. Some of the 'he doesn't remember' are placed after the "D then remembered after his second concussion..." You should also clear that now I have remembered the secret, presumably Lordy's plot, but that I'm struggling to regain consciousness. I trust that you'll figure out what's wrong. :)

Idea master · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:45 pm Post subject:

Besides the grammar not agreeing with itself, I know perfectly what's wrong.
D has a rum deficiency.

JezSharp · Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 1:16 am Post subject:

I'm not sure I ever had a specific plan...I took the map to see what locations were on it and spotted the location of the underground archives so tunnelled for them. I then had the idea of handing out the edited copies of the maps to some people...but I may change that to sending the full copy by PM to Council members. Besides that I don't really have any plans besides those.

Anyway I have an idea of how to fix things.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

D-Lotus wrote: Quote: This will hopefully please him, as BStheGreat has a long time grudge against him he wishes to settle, and, assisted by Polokin, is hunting for him. D-Lotus cannot for the life of him remember why.

This, and some subsequent parts of the summary are somewhat disconnected or unclear. They concern D and his memories, mostly. Some of the 'he doesn't remember' are placed after the "D then remembered after his second concussion..." You should also clear that now I have remembered the secret, presumably Lordy's plot, but that I'm struggling to regain consciousness. I trust that you'll figure out what's wrong. :)

Thanks for pointing that out, D, I'll fix it later today. ;)

A few points that I'd like to make:

1. About Uber characters, Uber behaviour and God Modding....

One of the few rules I put up about Hangover was that there were to be no uber characters. That includes uber behaviour and god modding.

The Kalanna character is bordering on Uber, and I agree with Jez with his comments about god modding.

Kalanna, I am well aware of your plans, ideas, and how you want to execute them, but having your character using uber behaviour to restrict others in their attempts to develop their own ideas is not fair on anybody, and is the quickest way I know of losing contributors.
Please allow others to write freely, and let them strengthen their characters positions in the story.

2. Sharing plot ideas

This discussion thread was started so that plot ideas could be pushed around.We should be working together as co-authors. Use PM if you have to, and use this thread. It's what it is here for.

If somebody's plans are less developed, sharing plot ideas could help them crystalize theirs, especially in these later stages, when so much has been laid down in the story already.

Making me aware of your plans does not validate them - all it does is help me understand the bigger picture when I am doing the summary, and help me sort things out if lack of continuity and confusion break out. I do not use that knowledge when I write, I only write for the good of the story.

If someone posts a plot twist that is unexpected to your plans, it is better to modify your plot, rather than thwart the plot twist. That is how the story moves in unexpected ways.

3. Please use this thread for hints on your intentions.

For example, I announced that I had realised my plot intention by having the fog as a manifestation of the souls. I made it clear that I didn't want someone opening a portal and just blowing it away.

IM could state here that he doesn't want his book to be reconstituted, and that Kalanna's reconstitution efforts should fail.

Use this thread wisely!!!

4. Generally

The story has moved beyond the introductory stage, and has now almost got to the climax of complete anarchy and chaos in IF. I would put it at nearly half way through its life now. I think there is another climax to come - despair, when the evil parties almost attain their goal, whatever that might be. And then a finale. Anyone is welcome to comment on how the rest of the story would be structured.

And finally...

THIS IS NOT AN RPG!!!! I know it is very easy to play it like one, but I dont want it to degenerate into something like that. This is why I am working on the summaries, so we can look back at the plots that are woven, and continue to write the rest of this story as co-authors.

So let's try and turn this into something unique!

Idea master · Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 7:19 am Post subject:

Not only is the book not going to reconstitute in the sense that many of the spell will be garbled and spell doom to the person that tries to read them, but so is my replacing of the book going to fail in a very interesting way.

JezSharp · Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 9:00 am Post subject:

Ok, currently my plot is going to centre around the digging into the underground archives, whereby I may well come across some (almost certainly incomplete and possibly cryptic) information on the place that Lordy has marked on the map.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

D-Lotus wrote: Quote: This will hopefully please him, as BStheGreat has a long time grudge against him he wishes to settle, and, assisted by Polokin, is hunting for him. D-Lotus cannot for the life of him remember why.

This, and some subsequent parts of the summary are somewhat disconnected or unclear. They concern D and his memories, mostly. Some of the 'he doesn't remember' are placed after the "D then remembered after his second concussion..." You should also clear that now I have remembered the secret, presumably Lordy's plot, but that I'm struggling to regain consciousness. I trust that you'll figure out what's wrong. :)

Susbstantially edited now, moved a lot of stuff about, and cleaned up the tenses too. Probably a bit overdue, its a bit out of date, as so many more ideas and twists have gone down since... but I hope it reads a little more coherently now!

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

Okay...

My latest plot is - how the fog escaped in the first place. :D

Weeeelllll, what a stupid idea to build a Soul Well near a Gorge, which obviously has to be a geological fault line!

With so many burrows and warrens having been dug underneath the city, this fog must have found a few outlets somewhere, which is why the fog containing the souls is hanging mostly over the city and nowhere else, and my theory is, the structure of the well, with all that Soul Power in it, just can't take it.

Of course this can be exploited like anything by those who wish to take over the city ;)

It would be really cool if whatever info Jez finds in the archives is info on the fault line, where the weaknesses are, etc.

I thought the conversation between Lebby and D-Lotus was very good, and am intrigued as to who D might think he has murdered.

Chinaren has disappeared... Hmmmm....

Perhaps by controlled releasing of the fog into the city via the faults is releasing pressure on the Soul Well to prevent it from blowing big time. So this could have been done by D for the good of the City...

Perhaps the flash of lightning just after Smee's firework display was an explosion of fog from the fault after too much build up of pressure. Or maybe it was the murder... Or maybe the two were linked...

Maybe to fix the problem we have to empty the Soul Well and build a new one on a safer site....

...er maybe I should shush up now... :D

Lebrenth · Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Posts: 672 Location: Auburn, WA

Personally, I don't like the fault line idea. Though an explanation of our circumstances, it is an event that is indifferent to its result. If the Soul Well was tapped into recklessly, or if the fault line shifted as a result of some other event, we have more to work with. There is a conspiracy going on, secrets and plots, an investigator, amnesia, an assassin... there must be more than shifting tectonic plates or else we invalidate a lot of story.

Perhaps the Soul Well's location was intentional. Maybe someone wanted it to crack open. I could work with that. The fact that it happened on New Year's Day, a strong moment for Brink Magic, seems too much of a coincidence. I would suspect a ritual of some sort for causing chaos. Or we could even make it the Earth protesting the incarceration of the souls within its soil.

All right, nevermind. I like the fault line idea.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

Lebrenth wrote: Personally, I don't like the fault line idea. Though an explanation of our circumstances, it is an event that is indifferent to its result. If the Soul Well was tapped into recklessly, or if the fault line shifted as a result of some other event, we have more to work with. There is a conspiracy going on, secrets and plots, an investigator, amnesia, an assassin... there must be more than shifting tectonic plates or else we invalidate a lot of story.

Very good point... I'll go with that... :)
Quote:
Perhaps the Soul Well's location was intentional. Maybe someone wanted it to crack open. I could work with that.
cool!
Quote:
The fact that it happened on New Year's Day, a strong moment for Brink Magic, seems too much of a coincidence. I would suspect a ritual of some sort for causing chaos. Or we could even make it the Earth protesting the incarceration of the souls within its soil.

It could also be that the New Year party might have been the perfect cover up (Smee's fireworks) for cracking it open. The fact that the 'flash of lightning' happened a little after the climax of the firework display could have been the synchronisation of the cover up going a little wrong. Kalanna makes reference to it in one of her posts very early on in the story. :D

Quote:
All right, nevermind. I like the fault line idea.

....So do I...but now in your idea, as a result of the conspiritor event! :P

Shall we go with yours? :D

dinranwen · Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 1:19 pm Post subject:

I say that someone either A: Planned the soul well's location intentionally so as to take advantage of it latter, or B.) Someone in ritual dance made the fault lines crack open....and in the same moment took control of the souls for their own uses....

Or Both A and B....either way would work.

Some other problem's I noticed that need to be worked out....

One who did D murder?

And why?

Who is controlling the Spirits of the Soul Well?

Who created/planned/used the fault lines to their advantage?

And why are the souls rebelling against Chinaren if they are not doing so out of their own will? Is someone in the city planning Chinaren's overthrow or planning to take over the city themselves? If so who?

Is the murder of someone conneted to the opening of the soul well or are they unconnected?

Obviously, so far Lebby, Lordy, Rai, Jez are all bad guys...sort of. But what are they planning and why? And who exactly is working for who?

Whatever the answers, I think one of Idea Master's post says it all. Someone has playing everyone the fool, but who, and for what purpose?

Smudger · Joined: 11 Jul 2006 Posts: 382 Location: Writers Block R Us

Since I wasn't here from the start I have no clue what my role is... Just sorta in it. Maybe I control the Soul Well, a low profile, non-descript character that no one would have ever thought of having that power. There's a solution. :D if you disagree then just say so, just a suggestion.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: Hollywood, USA

I don't like the fault idea either, mainly because 'x' and me have worked out the conspiracy. According to 'x', he/she released the souls himself/herself to wreak havoc so that he/she could make Chinaren dissapear. More on this later, but for now, if there is a fault, someone set it off. I'm going to read now about D's murder and find out what that's all about...

LordoftheNight · Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5241 Location: Hell

Quote: Obviously, so far Lebby, Lordy, Rai, Jez are all bad guys...sort of. But what are they planning and why? And who exactly is working for who?

Me? A bad guy? Nonesense - I'm merely working for the good of the City, trying to bring order to the current Chaos. That's all.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2314

Welcome aboard, Solus.Serpens!!

I'm trying to pull together another summary, and it's hard work with everything that's been going on.

I may need to PM some people for clarification on a few things, so I can get the story straight for the next summary.

I've loved reading it over the last couple of days, great to see some of the questions being resolved, and the way it is all moving on... :)