City of IF

[Kalanna Rai]

Interesting choice...And once again a long, multi-part chappy, sorry but...Enjoy.
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Chapter Four pt 1- Sword, Book, and Circle

It is said that the Gallaeni brought us the kession from their far off lands. Certainly no mage who has ever taken credit from the beast can explain how it has half of it's abilities. While many psudo-kessions have been produced with great success, now that the Gallaeni have vanished it seems that the pure-blooded kession are slowly vanishing as well. Though there are few physical differences between the two it is common knowledge that pure-blooded kession are beasts capable of casting man-made spells, not just using natural magical abilities...
- Hammond's Beastiary 4th Edition
- Sage Grummule Hammond

As much as Darith wanted to scoop up all the supplies he could Fallon's warning was more than enough to make his body comply though his heart was against it. But that was the bad fortune of anyone without a strong will...and it seemed to Darith if he didn't have bad fortune he'd have none at all of late. Wheeling Neverstar he put his heels to the steed's ribs, causing the charger to rear a bit before taking off at a mad cap gallop. The charger squealed a bit as it's hooves slipped in the charnel and clotted blood, before regaining it's stride and continuing forward.

There was the sound of Stormwing's hoofbeats an instant later and the strange scraping sound of Callix's talons. The kession had stretched out a wing to touch Neverstar's rump. "If he breaks contact with me he won't be able to see in this world. He's not a magical steed, he doesn't have Darkvison!" As much as he wanted to bolt off in sheer terror Darith knew that wasn't going to help anyone any. Pulling in on the reings a bit, Neverstar slowed until he was pacing Stormwing, Callix effortlessly surging between them.

Darith spared a glance at Fallon, who seemed dead on the creature's back yet clung like a burr. How they managed to get out of the courtyard, Darith never would quite recall as the whipping wind quickly blinded him with his own tears. It was so bitterly cold and the frost was already forming on his armor. Icicles hung from Asalia's hood and the sweat of their mounts was freezing in lacey ribbons. At this rate they'd die of exposure before they got more than half a day's ride from the castle.

The ground under them didn't seem like frozen earth though, quiet the contrary. The hoofbeats were muffled once out of the castle proper, and the terrain seemed springy. The way the ground rolled reminded him of ocean swells, frozen forever in a single perfect moment. Though it seemed Callix's legs seemed to lengthen and shrink to keep his stride level, no such thing could be said for Stormwing or, Darith thought ruefully, Neverstar.

He was being jolted so hard he was hurting in unmentionable places as much as he had after his first distance ride some fifteen years before. He'd bitten his cheek and toung several times from his teeth coming together too quickly as his horse covered the uneven ground. The noble equine's breath was coming in coarse snorts that plumed out around them like the breath of some mythical fire-lizard.

It was nearly all they could do to reach the summet of a particularly large, rolling hill. "We can't keep up this pace Callix...we'll break their wind." Reaching the top the kession stopped and turned, looking back over the black and barren landscape. Fallon tugged Neverstar around, giving Asalia the okay to toss back the hood of her cloak...still so far in shock he didn't notice it had already been blown back by the wind.

The castle where he had been born, where he had lived all his life, stood breaking the horizon with it's profile. It seemed wholly out of place there, like some great evergreen in the center of a palm forest, and looked more than a little abused. Above it the dark sky seethed, seeming to grow blacker by the second, until it was a color so dark it could only have been called ebon-black. Darith though it was his imagination...or was the sky really sinking lower toward the castle ramparts?

When Asalia gasped and Callix snorted and shied back in dismay he realized it was no trick of the lack of light, no mirage or illusion. The sky really was twisting downward toward the castle, long ropey strands of it falling down around the cracked stones like the mane of some great beast. Callix said something and tapped his obisdian horn to the middle talon of his left foreleg. There was the ripple of magic which brushed against Darith's skin.

He jumped, startled, as the power rustled across his flesh. He'd never been without his wards before, they'd always shielded him, kept magic at bay. Yet that was only half the explaination. There was also the fact that, aside from Callix, there seemed to be no ambiant magic anywhere. Not in the earth, not in the air, certainly not in that blasted wind that was freezing them to the core.

There was a small pop, followed by a thump as several small leather satchels landed on the ground before the kession. "Whew, that took more out of me than I thought. It's harder to cast here..." The beast broke off, it's eyes nearly popping out of it's head, summoned goods forgotten for the moment.

The darkness above the castle had formed itself into a mass of seething tenticles, each one wrapping around the castle until they covered it completely in utter nothing. Then they pulled back, retreating to the heavens, a slight grey glow clinging to it. For a moment the castle, a noble bastin that had served Darith's family for over three thousand years, stood as tall and proud as ever. Then it slowly crumpled in on itself...like a sand castle left too long in the sun and wind.

The frozen wind screeched like one of the Ice Hexes of the far north, wailing it's victory call across the lifeless landscape. Only a single tendril of darkness remained now, testing the air like the forked toung of the serpent. Asalia had tears frozen upon her face, her lashes rimmed with ice, but no sound escaped the striken maid. "Callix...what just happened?" The kession snorted.

"I really don't know, but if I had to guess I'd say that it just absorbed all the magic contained in the stones of yon castle. That's why the walls crumbled, without their wards they were too weak to stand. That's why there's no magic in this place, no native power to work with! It's all been sucked up!" This revelation brought no peace though as the kession instantly hissed through bared fangs, a most unsettling sound for an equine. "That means it'll be tracking my spell!"

Sure enough the single tendril quivered in the freezing air, tapping one spot again, and again. Suddenly it turned toward the small group and, with all the speed of a warrior that knows his prey cannot run, began to close the gap between them. With a flick of his head, Callix put his horn neatly through the iorn ring affixed to each bag. "Quickly we must go! Spare nothing! It's either the horses or yourselves!"

Turning as one the small group charged down the other side of the hill. The two horses were practically flying, the kession was as often gliding along as not. Behind them the serpentine tendril continued to come as if it had expected this the whole time. Looking over at Fallon, Darith didn't know whether he was alive or not and wasn't about to wake him. Asalia looked across at him, with tears frozen in her eyes, and a smile of dispair upon her face.

"No." He said through clenched teeth. "I won't let her down."
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Right fist of three parts, bare with me.

[Kalanna Rai]

Part two....Enjoy.

Chapter Four pt 2- Sword, Book, and Crown

Asalia watched her home crumble into dust that was quickly picked up and carried off by the howling winds. She could tell Darith was devistated and realized, distantly, she should be as well. Instead she felt only a vauge sense of worry. Where would she sleep? What would she eat? Where would she get a change of clothes, warmer clothes? It wasn't that she was unaffected, she simply wasn't as attached.

She didn't remember the castle like Darith did, remember the good moments and the bad. She only remembered what the book told her...and the faces of the people she'd seen that day. Their feelings were plain to her, Asalia was sensitive like that. It's how she knew Fallon wasn't a bad person, she could read his aura as easily as she read her Memory Book. It was, however, a bit bland without the emotions to season it...yet in many ways the most engageing she'd ever come across. Well that she could remember of course.

Some people felt 'familiar' like Darith. She didn't remember him, per say, but she knew all about him at a glance. He was a good person, if a bit weak inside, who was warm and caring. She wished she could reach out and comfort him, as he'd comforted her, but she could not reach him across the galloping steeds. They fled, fled a tendril of darkness that was seeking out the source of Callix's spell.

She looked across at her brother, his face so haggared and drawn, and felt a pang that she wouldn't remember him in the morning. Grim determination etched his face as he whispered words the wind tore away before they reached her ears. Her golden hair streaming behind her like a banner she glanced over her shoulder. The dark tendril, like a hunting hound following a trail of blood, was following them at a distance that never increased...but never decreased either.

Under her Stormwing was beginning to falter, she had to come up with something quick. Glancing around her eyes lighted on Callix's wings. "Maybe it only needs a bit of him." Reaching over she did something both brave and stupid, she yanked one of the big pinions out with a sharp tug. Callix gave an ignoble squack and turned to look at her with a baleful stare. The wind tore the feather away and, as Asalia watched, the quivering tendril paused in the air.

For a moment she held her breath...then let out a whoop of joy as the thing took the feather off the ground instead, smothering it in darkness. "Humm...that thing's just your color Callix." The beast snorted.

"I hope I've better table manners. I don't play with my food at least." Asalia allowed herself a strained chuckle at the kession's attempted humor. "There's a cave up there in the crux of those hills. I'm sure if we make for it we'll have shelter for the night." Without waiting to see if either Asalia or Darith would take heed, Callix turned his nose toward the place and guided them there.

It was a bit rude, Asalia thought, but then she'd be grateful for anything out of the wind. Riding into that clammy cave felt like coming home for some reason. There was no room in the tight passage that led in, but it widened up into a sizable space. The three steeds and their riders would fit comfortably. Moss hung in dripping sheets everywhere and, after an exploratory bite, Callix pronounced it fit fodder for the equines.

Darith instantly dismounted and came to her aid. "Are you alright?" Asalia slid off with a thump, ignoring the wobbly sensation and pain in her lower body as she walked over to Fallon. She rounded on Darith with fire in her blue eyes, snapping like lightning sparks.

"You're asking me that? He's the one dying and you want to know about my saddle sores. Sometimes Darith you're more forgetful than I am." She was instantly sorry as his face seemed to crumple inward. She walked over to him and hugged him tight, not caring that his chill armor stuck to her skin with a frosty bite. "Oh that was cruel of me. I'm so sorry Darith."

"It's okay, it's been a rough day. Now let's get him down and see how he's doing?" Callix had to help, still wary of Darith, but in the end the three of them managed to slid Fallon off onto the sandy floor of the cave. Laying her hands on his chest and cheek Asalia felt a weight lift off of her. The breath was little more than a warm puff, the heartbeat woefully faint, but they were both there. Asalia had had a hunch he was alive, he still had an aura afterall, but she hadn't really trusted her gut.

"He's alive, but just. We're going to need to keep a close watch on him." Callix was already sinking to his knees in the sand, laying down so that Fallon could be snuggled against his side and enveloped with one massive wing. Asalia slid the leather pouches Callix had risked his life for off his horn. "What's in these?" The kession looked at her.

"Fallon and I had an emergency departure plan worked out, more for my sake than his. If ever something terrible happened to him I was to gather the absolute necessities, things we couldn't be without. Again he never thought this would happen but saw the reasonable need for the plan. And I just carried it out." Asalia opened the first pack and peered inside letting a cry of joy escape.

"There must be food for a week in here, water too." She opened the next one and peered in. Unable to fathom the contents from a simple look, she reached inside. Many things met her fingertips, books, bags, smooth hard things that must have been stones or gems, and cloth once or twice.

"Careful, some of those things won't take kindly to you poking them, good intentions or no." Her fingers found a grip of some kind and twined around it. Wondering what it could be she pulled her arm out and was very surprised to find herself holding the handle of a long, slim blade. "Put that back!" Callix's horn smacked her hand, causing her to drop the blade back. "Are you alright."

Asalia winced a bit as she massaged her hand but favored Callix with a bit of a smile. "Fine, really I'm not made of glass. I won't break at a little rough treatment. But what was with the sword?" Darith, arms full of harvested moss he'd collected to feed the mounts, turned to look at them.

"Sword? What sword?" Callix snorted.

"Fallon's sword. An heirloom handed down to him by his mother. She said it's got powerful spells of protection on it and it smells like magic but...well I can't tell you more." Asalia was curious now.

"Really? Why not?" The kession swished his tail in irritation.

"Because Fallon has never used it. Won't touch the thing, avoids it like a plauge. I've asked him about it, it's a far superior weapon to the one he normally carries, but he just stares through me and keeps to himself." Darith laid down a pile of fodder for the kession who tore into it with reckless abandon, clearly starving. "He doesn't tell me everything you know...not even half."

That must be terrible Asalia thought before she began to rummage in the sack again. Her fingers brushed through all sorts of things before she touched something else she felt she had to draw from the bag. It was made of bound leather and slightly familiar feeling. You can imagine her squeal of delight when she pulled forth her Memory Book. "Oh why Callix! Thank you for bringing this!" The kession looked at her, greens sticking out of his mouth as his brows twitched in confusion.

He swollowed with a gulp and cleared his throat. "Why? What interest have you in a Journal?" Asalia, about to call him the most wonderful creature on earth, stopped. Looking more closely she realized this was not at all her Memory Book but a blank book of the same type. Her face fell and Callix seemed to realize. "Oh dear...I hadn't thought of fetching that. I suppose that it's been disenchanted now. I mean if the wards of the castle were absorbed then so must the spells on the book."

Asalia sniffed once but didn't cry. She'd shed enough tears today. "That's alright Callix. Do you think Fallon would mind if I took this book? I'll write down everything I can think of," she didn't dare say remember. "And put it in this book so that I can start a new one. That way I'll at least be partly myself." The kession looked at her.

"I don't think it could do any harm. He's certainly not going to begrudge you the book...he doesn't have the heart too." Realizing just how bad a pun that was the kession cleared it's throat and went back to eating it's meager meal. Opening the book and finding a quill pen already settled into a clip on the inner cover, Asalia began to record everything as best she could before the Curse robbed her of it.
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Working on the last part guys.

[Kalanna Rai]

And last...Enjoy!

Chapter Four pt 3- Sword, Book, and Crown

Fallon wasn't really sleeping, nor was he unconcious. He was aware from the moment they took flight from the castle till this very moment. His body, deprived byond the limits, had shut down. He couldn't see but he could hear and feel well enough, and he knew with a stone solid certainty that he was in deep trouble. Burnout, that was what it was called. A drain on your magic so deep and sever it was perminent.

That's why he refused to let his mind shut down, to let his mind sleep. Instead he watched them, the party, from a third person view. He wasn't sure if this was a separation experience, where a person was so close to dying that his body and soul had only the thinnest of connections, or merely a Viewing. He had no wish to be magically crippled...not even if it had been for the best of causes.

Afterall, Fallon felt no satisfaction that he had saved Darith and Asalia, no joy or sense of pride. He was empty, a shell, now it seemed in more ways than one. He retured to his body when they began to flee the distruction, slipping back into his shell with a liquid ease. It had all been a Viewing then...he felt no relief.

He did feel warmth when Callix surrounded him in a blanket of flesh and feathers, and tried to concentrate on the conversation around him. He tried, he really did, to stop them from going through his bags, but neither sound nor movment escaped him. He was, for all intent and purpose, a prisoner in his own enfeebled flesh. Cool hands touched him, Asalia again. He could tell by the soft hands, their dainty shape.

He distantly realized she cared about him, was watching over him at the cost of her own sleep. Darith's soft snores could be heard from the other part of the cave. "Callix...what's he like?" Fallon would have stopped the conversation right there if he could have...but unable to communicate with them he was forced to sit and listen. Listen as the kession revealed things to Asalia that nobody outside his family had ever known.

"Well, Fallon is Fallon for the most part. He doesn't say much but when he does people pay attention...he gives his words alot of thought, which is more than I can say for most other people. He doesn't give commands often, he asks. I suppose that just because he can't feel like we can doesn't mean he can't see how his actions effect us. His behavior is...planned I suppose. He knows which results get what he wants done and acts accordingly." It was true, Fallon was methodical and unwavering. He could act kind and gentle, or cold blooded and cruel.

There wasn't much of a difference to him, save how the world responded. He had found it was better to be a non-entity, a person ignored but respected. People going out of their way to trip over him didn't work, it was better to emerge from a corner and have his commands obeyed. Asalia's hand strayed to his neck again, feeling his pulse, and Callix snorted. "What's wrong?"

"Be careful. His glamours will be wearing off soon and I don't think he'll be able to replenish them any time soon." Fallon's knew that was far from ideal. His glamours were a carefully maintained barrier...without them Darith and Asalia were in grave danger. Callix was right to warn them but he couldn't do so without giving more information. Fallon knew that Asalia was curious enough, and stubborn enough, that she wouldn't let it lay now.

"What's a glamour?"

"A small illusion used to give beauty, most court nobles use them. Only Fallon uses them in the opposite sense...he detracts beauty." A sharp intake of breath from Asalia.

"Why would he want to do that...I mean why would he want to be ugly?" A chuckle from the kession.

"You've seen Fallon...would you call him ugly Asalia?"

"No...I wouldn't. He's...very hansom...very." Fallon was very good at reading voices, but better at reading body language and peoples eyes. Unable to see he could decipher only part of her message. Asalia fancied him, more than a bit.

"Well if he's very hansom and he's using glamour to make him uglier...Asalia do the words 'paralyzing beauty' mean anything to you?" The maid must have shaken her head. "Well that's the closest I can describe what he looks like. Fallon's face can stop an army...it has infact. The Battle of Fald..." Fallon knew that if Callix could just keep talking until Asalia fell asleep, before the girl could write this down, then everything would be fine. She wouldn't remember the conversation.

Asalia's hand moved up his face, playing the the wings of his dark hair. "Callix, he hasn't got any nightmare hair braided in." The kession snorted.

"Won't need any as long as he's got me. We're connected mind to mind. He can use my Darkvision any time he wants, just like I can use his knowledge of human spells. It's a bit of a trade off."

"Can you talk to him now? I mean..." The kession snorted.

"I could but it's best not to. He needs his rest." And wasn't getting any. "I'm warning you to be careful Asalia...that haircut of his isn't just an excentricity...it's a defense and the last one at that. His glamours will be gone by now and..." Fallon felt the girl sweep the hair back from his face and heard the gasp that followed. A soft flick of feathers put the hair back over his face. "See...?"

"Callix...how can any man look like that? He's like...something out of legend...like a Gallaen or...something." She finished lamely, unable to find the words.

"Gift of the Gods I suppose. I don't know, once again he doesn't tell me everything. He's mother's like that too though...how do you think she...nevermind. You need to get some sleep." There was a yawn.

"I suppose I do. Goodnight Callix."

"Goodnight." For a few moments there was nothing but silence, only breathing. Then Fallon felt Asalia's hand on his brow again.

"You're burning up...that's not right. Callix.." Fallon went to take a breath and found he couldn't. "Callix!" Asalia's screams had woken not just Callix, but Darith and the horses as well. "He's not breathing..."

Just as a velvet muzzle touched his neck Fallon's weak heart gave a last beat...------------------------------------

Right, how can they save him? Or can they?
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Hope you liked.

[Darra]

Eagerly awaiting the continuation of this one, Kalanna. Your descriptions kept me through to the end of the first two passages. I was proud to see Asalia receive more focus in this chapter. While Darith and Fallon both carry their airs of powerful mystery, their young sister has quite a unique allure to her personality. Her ingenious swipe of the feather saved them - although I wondered at the technical possibility of her action. Running as they were, I was disappointed at the lack of any description of her balance, of reaching, of resuming her seat. It was a brave and important move on her part. Even though it is supposed to have happened quickly, I would have liked such an important action to have more detail. (I really enjoyed her taking the initiative to try it! Smart girl!)

This chapter featured some enjoyable discourse between the characters toward the end. It provided a good bit of deeper detail about the UnderDark, Callix, and Fallon that drew me in and gave strength to the foundations you'd already set for the place/characters. Callix and Asalia are very quirky around each other and I like it.

Constructively...another run through spell check would help with the little errors here and there. Also, it is still difficult to identify the speaker in the dialogue. It would help if you separated quotations and actions if the speaker and the character doing the action are not the same person.

Example:

Quote: Asalia winced a bit as she massaged her hand but favored Callix with a bit of a smile. "Fine, really I'm not made of glass. I won't break at a little rough treatment. But what was with the sword?" Darith, arms full of harvested moss he'd collected to feed the mounts, turned to look at them.

"Sword? What sword?" Callix snorted.


Dividing the above paragraph would show Asalia's action and speech, then Darith's action and speech, and finally Callix's snort.

Instead I see Asalia talking and Darith looking on as Callix snorts "Sword? What sword?" - leaving me a little bewildered as to who is speaking next....

Quote: "Fallon's sword. An heirloom handed down to him by his mother. She said it's got powerful spells of protection on it and it smells like magic but...well I can't tell you more." Asalia was curious now.

"Really? Why not?" The kession swished his tail in irritation.

A little more separation and I'd understand perfectly. Now I'm just dreadfully curious as to why Fallon never uses the sword and what would have happened to Asalia had Callix not broken her hold on the sword and forced her to put it down.

......... I was writing this as you posted the last section of the story. No criticism, I'm holding my breath to see what happens next. I may pass out. Revive me when the next chapter is up, please?

I really am delighted with the sudden twists you put into your writing. Even for a storygame, which is supposed to be that way, your plotline snakes its way deliciously from the beginning to end of each chapter.

Hm. Yes. Save him. Dig around through his bags a little bit more? Maybe find something useful?

[Kalanna Rai]

Thanks Dara, you're really giving me great feedback! I havn't had an editor quite like this since my better friends deserted me for college.

As for a few lacking details, my experiances with the last chappy left me a little gunshy...I now think every chappy I'm writing is too long and have been 'clipping' them a bit. Although with this story it's a bit hard...too much story to tell this time around.

Still glad you're enjoying it...and I'm glad the sword's got you thinking...although that's a mystery for much later...

[Darra]

If the writing is interesting and clever, I'll endure the length. Your chapters here are longer than most and they are quite enjoyable. I am reading a few of your other stories and have seen a variety of differences in your writing from one to the other.

You keep your paragraphs brief and use a good color for text; it eases the strain on the eye. I can see you trying to find a balance of detail, trying to avoid too little or too much. Cheer up, no need to be gun shy. I can see you putting forth a good deal of effort into this particular story and I appreciate it as a reader.

[dinranwen]

I have to agree with Dara, although admitedly I couldn't have said it nearly as well as she did, or found the mistakes at all.

As for the DP, I agree try to save Fallon if you can. Something tells you need him, more than what some may think. Perhaps, just perhaps they can use the bond Callix and him have with each other...or something in the bags.

[Guest]

I agree. Fallon is important in this story.
safe him, give cpr or yes there must be something of use in the bags. I think that fallon has helped very much in this story and he had done a job in collecting supplies and keeping them alive, he might have picked something up that might be of use. :)

[Kalanna Rai]

Right new poll is up, ye be voting now arrr.

[Mother Goose]

Tough choice. If there were something in the bags wouldn't Callix already know about it and be using it? He helped to pack them. On the other hand Callix is exhausted too, and emergency healing may be beyond his power at this time (he has no extra strength to share). Prayer, the third option, hasn't been mentioned in this story and I don't know if this world has a deity to pray to.

Think I'll go with the bags - the journal seemed to be a surprise; maybe there's something else in there that could help. A healing charm would be a logical thing to put into an emergency kit.