City of IF

Idea master · Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:54 pm Post subject:

S'it nialp ot em taht uoy deen ot trats gniklat sdrawkcab os taht uoy nac ecinvnoc meht taht uoy era ylerem wen ereh.

Dna t'nod yrt dna dnimer Yddum fo Neranihc. Ll'eh ylekil llik uoy fi uoy od.

Chinaren · Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:15 pm Post subject:

They are not speaking backwards, they are speaking THEian, which by a remarkable coincidence is the same as IFian, but in reverse.

:? :shock:

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

I couldn't understand a word of it, China. I think I'm gonna need a translation.

However, thanks to the context clues, I picked up that the adventurers are in trouble again...

Well, it seems obvious to me that they can't run anywhere, or they'd be overtaken by an angry, ubiquituous mob. So they must find some way to appease the sheperd-soldiers long enough to be able to appeal for Muaddib's help.

Ummm...how about dropping a pair of brand-new shears on the floor (or more likely, onto the back of a prostrate THEian) and see if they'll stop to pick them up...

Mastermind · Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 2:36 am Post subject:

I t'nod kniht gnivah Yddum ees Anihc dluow eb a doog aedi, os nur. Tsaf.

Quote: ew llahs ecom no ot eht sreveilebnu
Fi I dnatsrednu siht tcerroc, ti dluohs eb emoc.
Fi I t'ndid, ll'I emalb ytinasni.

Chinaren · Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 2:39 am Post subject:

Mastermind wrote: I t'nod kniht gnivah Yddum ees Anihc dluow eb a doog aedi, os nur. Tsaf.

Quote: ew llahs ecom no ot eht sreveilebnu
Fi I dnatsrednu siht tcerroc, ti dluohs eb emoc.
Fi I t'ndid, ll'I emalb ytinasni.

No, that was correct. He was using the Higher THE dialect.

Mastermind · Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 3:07 am Post subject:

Evigrof em. I saw enasni ta eht tnemom.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

yekirc, I ma gninnigeb ot daer sdrawkcab yltneulf - ti t'ndid etak gnol... :shock:

LordoftheNight · Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5241 Location: Hell

Well, I was going to type backwards, but everyone else is, so I can't really be bothered to anymore.

I think China should push Arclone into the mass, and then run for it. Later on, he can always make a daring rescure attempt. Or not, as the case may be.

Later on, he should attempt to steal one of the THEians clothes, and disguise himself so he can move around the city easily.

Phang · Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 11:49 am Post subject:

Heheh, s'ti ekil Reverse.

Siht ekil erom si Reverse tub.

Ees eht ecnereffid?

Whatever.

I say RUN FOR IT! It's quicker when written in capitals. :cool:

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Well actually if you want to get into serious linguistics, you could have High THE and Low THE, for example

I tnew ot eht mraf = low THE for 'I went to the farm'.

mraf eht ot tnew I = High THE for 'I went to the farm'

ancient THE...

ot eht mraf I tnew

Stone age THE...

ggguuu.... gggooo.... ggrrraaarrr...

Or maybe they are just getting their mucking words fuddled :?

Christalnightshade · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 3:53 pm Post subject:

whatever they said!!! I say It is to bad I'm stuck in an never ending cycle of trying to get back to reality. And it has changed the whole plot of the story. And now you'll have quite a bad time at writeing since I was soposed to end up on an hill. But you can change that with the machine.

... you use your brain china I have nothing to say in this one here.

Only that you now have alot more to write... i know how these time travel stuff works. Strange If I should be back there? Where am I really there should then be two of me. Wait I'm gettingolder and older aint I when I'm going like that through time. You have put me into a time flux continiuom. I'm getting older man...

Great whoopdie doo.... :lol:

Chinaren · Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:43 am Post subject:

So, if I read the suggestions correctly, and I'm not sure I do as most of them are in THEian, the options we have so far are:

Try talking to Muddy (In THEian, even though they don't understand it)

Run run run!

Push Arclone into the mass as a distraction.

Any more before I put up a poll? (Please, not backwards, it's giving me a headache).

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2477

Yrros. Ll'ew yrt ton ot od siht eromyna.

Wander around and pretend to be simple minded. Confuse the shepherd-guards by patting them on the back and mumbling. Works for me.

Nac ew teg kcab ot gniklat ni Reverse won?

Phang · Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:47 am Post subject:

The White Blacksmith wrote: Nac ew teg kcab ot gniklat ni Reverse won?

.siht ekil si reversE

The mumbling confused idea sounds awesome, both storygame-wise and for RL. Might just try it.

Chinaren · Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:54 am Post subject:

Poll is up then. Flog the dead horse of voting.

Chinaren · Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:33 am Post subject:

Chapter 9. Sacrifice.

“They don’t look at all friendly.” Arclone started to back away, bumping into prone THEians as he did so.

“You may be right.” Chinaren’s self preservation instinct was waving its hands about and jumping up and down, trying to get his attention. “But they’re so close now.”

“Llik! Llik!” Cried the oncoming Shepard’s, waving sharpened crooks about.

“I’m not hanging about to see!” Arclone started.

“Wait! Look over there!” Shouted Chinaren, pointing.

“Where!?? What?” Arclone looked about wildly, and hence didn’t see who pushed him over from behind. "Arg! Chinaren!” Arclone thrashed about madly, tangled up in several robed THEians, who were trying to slide away from him without actually moving.

“Dloh!” Shouted a voice from above him.

Arclone peered upwards, into the business end, whichever end that is, of a THEian Sherpard’s crook*.

“Bugger.” He said.

*Much like the traditional tool, but with a razor sharp hook.

>

Chinaren was moving at speed, a cloud of dust marking his progress along the dry streets. “Must escape…” he gasped. “Can’t let… Arclone’s valiant… sacrifice… be in…vain. Oh.”

Down the street, riding large THEian war dogs*, came a troop of mounted warriors, blood red robes billowing about them as they shouted in their savage lingo and gestured right and left.

Chinaren flattened himself against the wall, pressing himself into a shallow doorway as the troops trotted past, crooks sparkling dangerously in the desert sun.

One looked his way, shading his hand against the glare as he did so.

Chinaren gulped as the soldier approached, squinting in an attempt to see more clearly.

Just as he was getting close, the door opened and Chinaren fell through.

“Quick, come inside,” whispered a voice.

The mayor wasted no time arguing, but scrabbled away, whilst his newfound helper closed the door gently.

“What are you doing here?” Asked the man.

“Ingro?” Gasped Chinaren. “Ingrothechundyer? Is that you? I haven’t see you since Thu Oct 05, 2006. What happened to you?”

“I decided to take a break, go walkabout,” said the figure, moving over to a table and sitting down.

Chinaren stood up. “And you ended up here? How come?”

“It’s a long story. I see you are still getting into mischief though.”

“Muaddib is here! He’s preaching or something.”

Ingro nodded. “Yes, he’s a spiritual leader in THE.”

“Those barbarian Shepard’s captured one of my friends. We were running and he… tripped.”

“Tripped eh?”

“Well, he is a clone. Probably some manufacturing flaw.” Chinaren shrugged. “But I feel slightly obligated to get him back.”

“They will have taken him to the Golden Shrine probably,” Ingro said.

“I see. And this shrine is where exactly?”

*If you think the sheep are bad, wait until you see the sheepdogs.

>

A black robed figure wandered through the main doors of the Shrine, indistinguishable from the hundreds of other similarly garbed THEians, with the possible exception of a slight waddling walk.

The robe moved up the main aisle, past a dozen ever larger statues of Muaddib, and towards the auditorium.

Entering the main chamber, the short shape sidled around the wall, taking in the scene.

The Shrine was like nothing Chinaren had ever seen. It was more like a circular amphitheater, with rows upon rows of stone seats overlooking a sandy arena.

Strapped to a stone slab in the middle of this was Arcone, his face showing extreme agony as Muaddib recited all 4,527 verses of the Golden Path Holy writings. Every time it looked like he may lose consciousness, a THEian Shepard poured cold water over his head, reviving him.

“Kill meeee! Kill me noooow!” Screamed the poor clone, as Muaddib started another stanza.

Chinaren winced as Muaddib’s voice rose up through the Shrine, and thanked his foresight at stuffing his ears with wax. Glancing around his eyes alighted upon a familiar looking machine next to Arclone’s slab. If you removed the tin foil and various statues adorning it, you could almost think it was an Exorcisor machine. But what was it doing here?

His answer was not long in coming. Muaddib ended his recital, much to the relief of the sobbing Arclone, and turned to face the waiting crowd.

“Great THEians*,” he cried. “Here is the instrument of our Victory over the heathen AHA scum!” He gestured at the machine as the crowd cheered.

“With this device, created by me alone, and in no way stolen from anywhere else, we can launch a surprise attack into the heart of AHA! Our crack troops will slaughter the barbarians by the thousands!”

More cheering.

“It only remains to provide a sacrifice to ensure our success! And the Gods have heard the call! They have sent this… this Non THEian to us! We will slice him from top to bottom and offer his gooey red insides up as a demonstration of our advanced culture!”

The cheers were deafening this time.

Chinaren looked left and right. Arclone was in dire straights and, possibly more importantly, there appeared to be a working machine that could get him back to IF!

But how to get to it? Oh. And rescue Arclone.

*Translation provided by Chinaren, who is tired of typing backwards.

>>>>>>

Finally another chapter, even if it is rather lackluster. Sorry about that, I want to finish this one off, and I don’t feel overly humorous* just now.

So, a rescue plan is needed! What to do?

*Pretty drunk though.
<<<<<<

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

Well, from the looks of it, you need to be very sneaky. Throw a smoke bomb or something to that nature and while the THEians are cornfuzzled, grab Arclone and get to the machine just in the nick of time. Or, release Arclone, tell him to destroy the machine right after Chinaren leaves and then run while the smoke/fog is still obscuring the THEians view. Sorry, that's all I got! ;)

Chinaren · Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 12:41 am Post subject:

Any other suggestions? We are talking about a rare species of Argoclone here! :shock:

dinranwen · Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 10:01 am Post subject:

I'd have to agree with Lily, time afraid. *grins at her over use at puns and looks innocently around the room*

Mass distraction followed by releasing the clone, jumping into the Machine in the nick of time, and instructing the arclone to destroy the machine.

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2477

If I may suggest adhering to my suggestion for the previous chapter. Ingro can shock them all by speaking in Ifian and dewbating with Muddy while chinaren leaves then walks in mumbling, unstraps Argo and leaves. Doing all this seemingly randomly of course.

And Nerc? Since when did you keep a list of the precise dates people dissapeared?

Chinaren · Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 5:00 am Post subject:

Quote: And Nerc? Since when did you keep a list of the precise dates people dissapeared?

I don't. I just checked when his last post was, to make it authentic. ;)

I have an idea to wrap this one up, which I'll write as soon as RL gives me a chance...

Player of Fates · Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Posts: 217 Location: Darkness

Aha! I'm loving this story, Chinaren, absolutely loving it. Hm, we need to find something distracting that would draw all our primitive foes attention. A large "magical" flash of light from a weird looking torch that happened to be lying around maybe?

Maybe a type of summoning? Is Chinaren fluent in the Arc languge to summon an angel or maybe a demon with the right pentegram? Nah, no time for a pentegram, we need some sort of crazy distraction that will give Chinaren enough time to knock out Muadibb, rescue the clone, and use the machine.

Perhaps Arclone can piss in his pants which would send all THEians in bouts of laughter.

Mephistopheles · Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:29 pm Post subject:

Is laughter deadly to THEians? like it was to the weasels in that roger rabbit flick? if so, then yeah, arclone can urinate in his torusers, perhaps pass a little gas for added effect, and then Chinaren can just hang back and wait for everyone to be deceased.

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

I come to the rescue!

It IS an alternate universe...

Chinaren · Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:39 pm Post subject:

No, this one isn't.

Okay poll is finally up. Mess the pants of voting.

Christalnightshade · Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 10:41 pm Post subject:

back again here. O_o is this story still running? I see a tei.

Chinaren · Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 12:30 am Post subject:

I'll leave it a while more, to get more votes in. :D

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

Whoot! My choice is winning! YAY!

Glad to see you are finally reeling this one in China! One of my favorites when I first joined... in fact, I think I'll add it again! :D ;)

Christalnightshade · Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:29 am Post subject:

oops.. hehe there is a vote that won.

Chinaren · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:01 pm Post subject:

The next (and possibly last) chapter of this is now being written! Thank-you for your patience at the small delay between chapters.

;)

Chinaren · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:31 pm Post subject:

Chapter 10. One Year Later…

Crunchyfrog sighed with satisfaction as she sat down in the mayoral study and surveyed her domain. It had taken months and months, but she’d finally managed to get all the orange in the mansion replaced with green. She’d given up trying to get the hairs out of the carpet in the end, and simply bought another one with a pile of Fables she’d found hidden in some cranny that Chinaren must have forgotten about.

She took a sip of a drink of her own concocting and sat back, fingering the envelope that Chinaren had given her when he’d left the mansion. It had today’s’ date on, which means she’d finally get to see what was inside. She put her glass down and picked up her letter opener…

There was a distant crash, followed in short order by a lot of shouting.

“What the hell?” muttered the green mayor. She put the envelope and opener down and, sliding off the chair, padded over her nicely orange free floor towards the double doors of the office.

She opened them and stuck her head out, trying to determine the source of the commotion. It seemed to be coming from the set of rooms Chinaren had apparently used as some sort of laboratory. She hadn’t done anything with the machinery she’d found in there other than cover most of it with dust sheets. Frog had a vague idea the rooms would make a good waiting area for petitioners, but it the project wasn’t high on her list, and she hadn’t started converting them yet.

Pausing only to grab a small but heavy bust of Key that was on a stand near the door, she walked warily towards the racket.

The noise increased in intensity, and she thought she could hear Chinaren’s voice screaming something, but that wasn’t possible. The pesky orange critter was away on a prolonged business trip in IS, though Frog suspected this was merely an excuse for visiting the newly constructed Whoratorium that had been constructed there.

More shouting and a crash, and she paused in her advance. Perhaps she should go and get reinforcements. Her thoughts were interrupted as the door ahead of her smashed open with a loud crash. Smoke and a rather strange smell spewed forth, and Chinaren, strangely garbed in a dirty robe, flew out.

“Come on! It’s going to blow!” he shouted back over his shoulder at someone.

“There’s too many of them!” another voice answered. Crunchyfrog frowned. It sounded like Argonaut.

“Hey you!” Chinaren noticed Crunchy. “Stop staring and help! Grab the door, we need to hold them off until it blows!”

“Blows?” Crunchy trotted forward even as another figure emerged from the smoke. It was indeed Argo. He was wearing a rather revealing thong and little else. His hair was frazzled and he was covered in soot.

“Close it! They’re right behind me!” the wild Argo shouted. He saw Crunchyfrog and grabbed the bust of Key from her and heaved it into the room, eliciting a cry of pain from beyond before slamming the door closed.

Both Chinaren and Argonaut leaned against it as several thumps came from the other side, accompanied by shouts in a language CF didn’t recognize.

“Well don’t just stand there!” said China, “help us! If they get in we’ll be overrun by vicious shepards!”

Totally confused, Crunchy joined them as the shouting rose in volume. Something hit the wood with a distinctly edged weapon sound.

“How long’s it going to take?” said Argo.

“It should have gone off by now,” said Cren, “I pushed the power level up to full. If that doesn’t overload it I don’t know what will. Maybe Muaddib reset it. Are you sure he was out cold?”

“I hit him bloody hard with that damned book of his, if that didn’t do the job, nothing will. I couldn’t see him clearly through the fog though. Where did you get that smoke bomb from anyway?”

“I have my methods,” said Chinaren, managing to look smug despite the situation. He looked at CF. “I see you managed to get back alright then. Thanks a lot for sending help,” he added in a sarcastic tone.

“What are you talking about…?” Crunchy’s question was cut short by an enormous explosion from the other side of the door that knocked them all backwards and shook several painting from the wall.

“There it goes,” said Chinaren in a satisfied voice, standing up and brushing himself down. “I knew it would work.”

“Excuse me,” said Crunchy.

“Only after I nearly got skewed by those damned crooks!” Argo said, climbing to his feet. “You cut it bloody fine.”

“I say…” CF raised a finger.

“You worry too much, you were never in any danger.”

“I had to listen to hours of bloody Golden Path rhyming! It’s pure luck I’m not deaf!”

“I SAID EXCUSE ME!!” Crunchy lost patience. “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?”

The other two looked at her. “What?” Chinaren said.

“I said: what is going on?” Crunchy said through gritted teeth. “And why are you here?”

“Oh, I like that!” the orange figure said. “You bugger off and leave us, and it’s our fault now is it? What are you doing here anyway? This area is private property.” He started walking down the corridor.

“What do you mean I left you?” CF stood bewildered for a moment before hurrying after the two.

“You could have at least sent help back,” said Chinaren. “I’ve been bounced around from weird place to weird place, my mayoral butt has been in danger countless times. Hey, what happened to the carpets? Why is everything green? Oh no, don’t tell me I’m in another dimension again. I was sure this was the right one.” He pushed open the door the study and strode inside.

“Excuse me!” CF said, hurrying after him.

“What’s going on?” It was Chinaren’s turn to look confused. “This looks like my office, but everything’s a putrid green. And why are you here again? Are you the new cleaner? You better start with this place…”

“I’m the mayor!” said Crunchy, stamping her foot. “You will address me with respect.”

Chinaren raised an eyebrow. “Mayor? How can you be mayor? You only came into IF a few days ago.”

“I’ve been here over a year thankyouverymuch,” retorted CF.

“A year? That’s not possible,” said Chinaren. He plodded around the desk and picked up the calendar, studying it for a moment, before looking up in bewilderment. “It’s one year later!” he said.

“One year later from what?” CF asked, sitting down again on her chair.

“From when we left. Don’t you remember?”

CF shook her head. “Sorry, you’re talking gibberish, though that’s nothing unusual for you.”

“The party,” Chinaren insisted. “We were at the New Years’ party in Chinaren Hall.”

“The New Year’s party was at the Palace this year,” said CF, recalling a night of heavy festivity with rather large amounts of booze, even by Council standards. “You were there, remember? You dressed up in Lily’s dress and did the can-can on the dining room table.”

“I’d have liked to have seen that,” said Argo.

“And you were there too, I saw you singing some disgusting song with Messy.”

“I mean the other year,” Chinaren said. “Wait a moment. You said I was here?”

“Yes, I just said.”

“When did I come back?”

“From what? You’re still in IS as far as I know, enjoying the fleshpots down there no doubt,” CF said, taking a sip of her drink and rubbing her head.

“And what are you doing here?”

“I’m the mayor now. You were the one who convinced me to run for it.” Crunchy frowned. “Remind me to get you for that someday too,” she added darkly.

Chinaren shook his head. “Doesn’t sound like me,” he said. “Didn’t I leave myself any kind of message?”

“No…” CF started, before her gaze fell upon the envelope she’d been going to open a few minutes earlier. “Well…”

“Well?”

The mayor heaved a deep sigh and picked up the slim package. “Chinaren, this time’s Chinaren I mean, gave me this before he left for IS. He told me not to open it until today.”

“And you didn’t? That’s very trusting of you.” Chinaren raised an eyebrow.

“He also said it was booby trapped with a time lock.” CF shrugged. “It should be de-activated now though.”

Argo took a step back. “I’ll just stand over here whilst you open it then,” he said.

“Better open it then,” Chinaren said.

Crunchy nodded and, using her letter opener, ripped the envelope open and tipped the contents onto her desk. There was a note, and another, smaller, envelope inside. The smaller one was addressed to Chinaren, and had ‘Private’ and ‘Confidential’ and ‘Secret’ all over it.

Crunchy picked up the note and opened it. She read aloud.

‘Greetings!’ she read. ‘This is the ghost of Chinaren past! Speaking from beyond time! Woooo.’ She rolled her eyes and carried on. ‘No doubt a handsome orange time traveler is now standing next to you, along with his trusty sidekick.”

“Hey! I’m no sidekick!” Argo complained.

CF ignored him and carried on. ‘You must help me (from the past) get to the Exorcisor machine in Chinaren Hall. From there he, that is to say I, can make some adjustments and go back to his (my) proper time. Don’t worry about the clone, the temporal stress of the return journey will be too much for him, and he won’t make it back. (Oh, don’t read that part out loud).’

“What clone?” Crunchy said, pausing in her recital.

“Hey!” cried Argo. “I’m not going to hang about here and be disintegrated! I’m off!” So saying he ran out of the room, hair flying wildly about his head.

CF and Chinaren looked at each other. Chinaren shrugged. “Carry on then.”

Crunchy did. ‘I’ve left a note to my past self. It’s important only he reads it, or it may affect the very stability of the fabric of space time or some such, and could result in the destruction of the universe as we know it. There are also some results of some sporting events, may as well make a bit out of this whilst we’re at it, and a couple of plot ideas.’

CF frowned at Chinaren. “Typical.”

Ren smiled and picked his own note up. “Is there anymore?” he asked, opening it.

‘There’s just one more thing you’ll have to overcome,’ CF read. ‘whatever you do, heed my words!’

“There’s always something,” Chinaren said. “What’s the warning then?”

CF looked down. ‘It’s this…’

>>>>>>

A little late perhaps, but better late than never eh?

Didn’t quite get to finish it then. So, what’s the danger in the note? Let’s hear your ideas!!

<<<<<<

Mephistopheles · Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:17 am Post subject:

hmm....'If argonaut escapes, the world will fall as he will meet himself and turn evil, destroying all of humanity as he believes himself to be the world's greatest evil. You must not let the clone get away!'

entertaining as always cren! few minor tidbits that seemed inconsequential, so i am not mentioning them. Too humorous to critique. :)

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

*shakes fist at Cren* You had better be paying the dry cleaning bill to get the fur out!

;)

Hilarious China.. good to see this one moving again! And I'm gonna have to f5 Messy on this one about the clone. SEARCH AND DESTROY!
:P heheh

NeverNeverGirl · Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 2:10 am Post subject:

I think that Ren needs to meet all the Newbs that signed up since he 'left', that should keep him occupied.

interesting story - glad to see it moving...

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2477

I say that if China meets any of the newbs before his time, there will be a paradox, caused by Chinaren gaining foreknowledge of the newbs. Or something.

Anyway, as long as he gets to the machine without anyone else seeing him, it'll be ok. Unfortunatly Froggo's thrown it out, and they have to go down to the Ifdump, home of all failed storygames, to find it.