City of IF

[Argonaut]

If it is really an opposite universe, shouldn't everyone in opposite IF be incredibly boring and uncreative :)

[Chinaren]

Argonaut wrote: If it is really an opposite universe, shouldn't everyone in opposite IF be incredibly boring and uncreative :)

You're being too logical Argo! I suppose you could also say they would walk backwards and stuff if you take it to that level. ;)

Anyway, looks like we are going to be off to FI.

The vote's still open though, in case of a last minute swing.

[Lilith]

Serious wootage! Like I said, alternate reverse universes rule! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! (Sry another one of my moments, folks!)

[Guest]

Quote: If it is really an opposite universe, shouldn't everyone in opposite IF be incredibly boring and uncreative

That is true... youv'e got a great head on your shoulders... I donj't know wht to vote since my seggestion wasn't taken was it.... paralium universe now what is that? o-)

[Guest]

In an alternate universe I would be a goodey tooshes who works for the law and takes a strong stance against drinking and drugs...oooooh God, I'm about to throw up at the though of it.

[Lilith]

i think any and all ifains would vomit at their alternate selves, Fenris. That's the point! Its so unusual to the original that the alternate is strange and new. plus a good way to pull in readers

[LordoftheNight]

Well, seeing how I already have a cute, fluffy plushie side, my alternative would probably be exactly the same.

[Chinaren]

Chapter 2. In a Mirror, Parkly.

“What? What is it? Where are we?” Asked Crady, as Frog clutched at her head and sat up.

Chinaren shoved Crunchy off him and stood up, a little unsteadily. “Look,” he said.

They followed his outstretched finger. “Torturer Park,” read Crady. “Hey, it looks kind of like Jester Park, but, er, darker.”

They looked around. It was true, the layout seemed to be similar to Jester Park, but the details differed.

Instead of the green fluffy trees of home, laden with shiny baubles, these trees were dark and twisted, and appeared to have severed heads dangling from gnarly branches.

Where the House of Buffoonery should have been was the House of Butchery, and dark shapes skulked around in the shadows instead of the friendly clowns they were all familiar with.

“This doesn’t look good,” said Frog. “What is this place?”

“I suspect we have traveled into some kind of parallel dimension, where Evil is Good and Good is Evil,” replied Chinaren. He glared at them as they looked at him suspiciously. “What?”

“You figured that out by just glancing round did you?” said Crady.

Chinaren shrugged. “What can I say? It’s a standard plot cliché.”

“This is all very well and good. Or not good in fact,” said Frog, “but how do we get back home?”

Chinaren scratched his chin. “Mmm. If this is a parallel dimension, there may well be another Exorcism machine in Chinaren Labs. We can use that.”

“And if there isn’t?” asked Crunchy, always ready to look on the down side.

“Then we will go to plan B.”

“What is that?”

“I will tell you when I have figured it out,” said Chinaren. He rummaged around in his pouch and brought out a bracelet covered with buttons. Clipping it on around his wrist he pressed a purple button twice. Immediately his form changed to that of a fat woman with braids. “Damn! I thought the last of these went up with Soily*”, the woman muttered to herself.

“That’s rather a cool device,” said Crady. “Do you have one for us too?”

The Chinaren woman shrugged. “Sorry, I only have this one. Anyway, you two should be okay. I am too recognizable though.”

“Bigheaded more likely,” said Crady, but under her breath.

“Now, assuming the layout is the same as our own dimension, the Nobs district should be over there.” Chinaren started waddling off.

Crady and Crunchy looked at each other, shrugged and followed.

They had only traveled a short distance when the Chinaren woman stopped and peered ahead.

“What’s wrong?” Asked Crunchy.

“Er, I don’t think this park is very safe,” said Chinaren.

Ahead of them were a swarm of small dark creatures. Red eyes and white teeth featured prominently.

“I don’t suppose you have a weapon on that bracelet of yours do you?” asked Crady.

“No.” Chinaren looked around. “Tell you what, how about you go and talk to them, whilst I go with this frog man…” Chinaren did a double take on Crunchy who raised his eyebrows. “Man…? Anyway, you distract them and we will find another way out. I will even give you a discount on next months rent.”

“Blow that for a lark,” said Crady. “How about plan B?”

“Which is?”

“RUN!!!”

The three of them ran like a swarm of hungry demons were on their backs. Which was actually the case.

“Where are we running to?” Panted Crunchy.

“It’s more a case of running from,” huffed Chinaren, who could build up a good turn of speed for someone with short legs.

“Over there!” Said Crady, pointing to a cluster of small houses.

They changed course and headed for the buildings, their pursuers in tow.

“They are gaining!” Crunchyfrog looked over his shoulder and tripped. “Argg! Help!”

The other two looked back just as another figure emerged from the dark. “This way! Hurry!”

The alternative being an unpleasant option, the three scrambled to follow the shadow.

“Hurry!” A door was held open, and they dived through. It banged shut just as the first of the creatures slammed against it, howling in fury at being deprived of its prey.

“This way.”

They moved down a hallway and into a comfortable, though dimly lit, room. Several chairs were placed in pleasing fashion at strategic points. A dining table was off in an alcove to one side, near a small kitchen area.

“Thank you kind stranger…” Chinaren’s eyes widened in surprise. “Rai!”

Their savior stepped forward. “Do I know you?” She looked at them with dark eyes. Her visible form was covered in red-purple scales, the rest was garbed in a well cut black suit. Chinaren thought he could make out a tail flickering behind her.

“Ahh, no, but I have seen you around. You are the mod of this area aren’t you?”

Kalanna Rai nodded. “Along with Dinranwen.”

“The cloaked woman? I met her earlier,” Crady said.

Rai frowned. “Cloaked? Dinranwen? I don’t think so. She flaunts herself more than anyone I know. And I doubt you could have seen her at the mayor’s Hall. She has been in the Arena for the last day, performing the public torture of Masterweaver.”

“Masterweaver?” Now it was the turn of Crunchyfrog to frown.

“Yes, didn’t you hear? The B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S** caught him several days ago, spamming the Open Forum in protest at Chinaren’s policies.”

“Chinaren is mayor here too?”

“Too?” Rai looked puzzled. “Well I guess he is, but Key only keeps that simpleton around to toy with.”

“Key is the king?”

“Despicable and cruel Tyrant more than king.” Rai gestured towards a painting hanging on the wall. It showed a thin man dressed in black robes with a dark cloak billowing out behind. He had black hair slicked back into a ponytail, and the goatee beards all villains have to make them look more evil. He was standing in a pile of bodies and grinning like it was his birthday.

“I thought this was a mirror universe?” Whispered Crunchy to Chinaren.

“Well, he is thin I suppose,” said China, who was still pondering the implications of ‘simpleton’.

“We do what I can do fight their brutality and evil, but it is little enough. The Tyrant has terrible powers.” Rai continued.

“We?” Asked Frog, sitting down in one of the chairs.

“The few good ones in the city. Lordy, bless his little buttons, and I are the ‘leaders’, if that term could be given to such a loose band. Sometimes others come along. Lately a sweet little puppy, Fenris, has aided our cause. However, for every one we have on our side, there are several others who follow the Tyrant. Lately we have had Crunchy Toad and Lilith the Dark Fairy for example.” She shrugged. “They usually leave me alone here, but others aren’t so lucky.”

“Like Masterweaver?” Asked Crady.

“Yes, well, even his friends said he was a bit annoying. A little torture might do him some good.”

“Listen,” Chinaren stepped forward. “We need to get into Chinaren Hall. It us urgent.”

Rai looked doubtful. “You didn’t choose a good time to decide this. Most of the bigwigs are gathering in Chinaren Hall for the new year party. It is always guarded, but just now it is doubly so.”

“Great,” said Chinaren.

“So what’s the hurry?” Asked Crady. “We just wait until the party is over.”

“It’s not that simple,” said China. “The longer we wait to try and return, the less chance we have of finding our own universe. It’s a bit technical.”

“Oh great! Why didn’t you tell us this before?” Asked Frog.

Chinaren shrugged. “It didn’t seem like the right time.”

“You can’t stay here long anyway,” said Rai. “Those critters will tell someone they saw you. The B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S will no doubt be along soon to check it out.”

“It gets better and better,” said Frog.

“What we need,” said Crady. “Is a plan B.”



*See Tale of IF part 1, chapters 12 & 14
**Brutal Anti Spam Termination And Recovery Death Squad


>>>>>>

So, what’s the plan folks? Wait? Try and get into the Hall? Something else? Let’s hear it!

<<<<<<

[Lilith]

*is rolling on floor laughing* Lordy and Rai.... good? And Fenris... a sweet puppy? Hahahahaha! I love it! This is hilarious!

Now, hmmm..... what to do? Let's see... maybe ask Rai if there is any IFians who are not around at the moment and then Chinaren can impersonate that persoon but since they are in opposite dimension, the bracelet should come up with the opposite version.

Then the others could borrow dingy robes from Rai, pretended to be imposter's slaves and sneak on through.

That's what I can come up with. Although I wasn't expecting it, thanks for including me!

*Begins laughing again* Fenris..... sweet? Hahahahahahahahaha!

[Guest]

Quote: “What we need,” said Crady. “Is a plan B.” I guess here I'm not a jokester, but a serious leader some such. o-)

I think dress up and act like someone els and sneak in. Barge through the gates carrying wooden sticks...since you don't have weapons with you. I guess the gaurds would be smart there. And lordly would not look so horrid....

So somehow distract the gaurds by using Din... o-) And then rush past and sneak in... :P

[dinranwen]

Ask for Rai help in return for another service like distroying the evil Key for example.


Anyways, I highly doubt either disguises or distractions (*snorts* Opposite world indeed!*) would work.

Where as the guards in If are ignorant, blunndering, and usually drunk...the guards in FI are bond to be smart, regilant, and as sober as sober can be. Besides I'm not sure what side the FI Din....(do be a dear and let me at her by time I'm done she would either be dressed or dead) is on, so using her would probably not work.

[Guest]

actiolly you toruring weaver, sounds like your in a warior form rather than an lurker, maybe you'd have a swining chain and an metal ball at the end... :D But hearing you flauting about mmmm china where did you come up with this...

I say search for anyone willing to help.. and don't step on fenny his a puppy in FI... :P

[Kalanna Rai]

I'm...er...good? Damn. I guess that means I'm honest, truthful, and absolutely obvious in a fight doesn't it?

And that I'm back to using the word dose...

I suggest that China tries to pass for himself and puts Crady forward as some kind of member of the resistance that he's captured.

[vamper]

it's really good and funny!!!

keep going!! :P

you'll make the front page of the ogretimes
lol :lol:




:grin: :-D

[Argonaut]

Rai may have something there. Chinaren's actuall form may be the best disguise for getting into the party... Unless of course the guards say, "how dumb do you think I am? everyone knows Chinaren is blue, not orange!" :)

[Smudger]

What would I be in FI :-o ...Love it Chinaren, its such a good idea already.

[Lilith]

and that, Argo, is where every1 yells, "Awww... shit!" and rushes the guards...

Wait! another idea! what about causing a huge distraction with the assistance of the good resistance leaders of FI and then sneaking in that way

Hmmmmm...

[LordoftheNight]

Well, Smudge - you'd obviously be the rich handsome young stud, who everyone admires. And doesn't get ignored.

[Smudger]

That's actually an insult Lordy...I'm really hurt :cry: but thanks for answering my question.

[Guest]

Sweet little puppy and Lordy with buttons. Definitely an alternate universe.

[Lilith]

*holds up red rubber ball from chatroom* here puppy! here boy!

Sry fenny! Couldnt resist and i have to get into 'Dark Fairy' character mode! He he he!

[Guest]

Kalanna Rai wrote: I'm...er...good? Damn. I guess that means I'm honest, truthful, and absolutely obvious in a fight doesn't it?

And that I'm back to using the word dose...

I suggest that China tries to pass for himself and puts Crady forward as some kind of member of the resistance that he's captured.

I F5 Rai.

[Chinaren]

Some good ideas here. So far we have:'

Chinaren impersonate someone who is not around.

Ask Rai for help, in return for another service, such as disposing of the Tyranical Key.

Chinaren goes as... himself!

Bash their way in with sticks. :?

Cause a distraction with the 'resistance', such as it is.

Any others before U put a poll up? I am kinda looking forward to the next chapter. :lol:

[Key]

chinaren wrote: “Key is the king?”

“Despicable and cruel Tyrant more than king.” Rai gestured towards a painting hanging on the wall. It showed a thin man dressed in black robes with a dark cloak billowing out behind. He had black hair slicked back into a ponytail, and the goatee beards all villains have to make them look more evil. He was standing in a pile of bodies and grinning like it was his birthday.

“I thought this was a mirror universe?” Whispered Crunchy to Chinaren.
I liked that one, china. :laf:

Creating a distraction sounds good. Another option is to sneak in a secret entrance (surely Chinaren Hall has one, and chinaren knows where it is).

[Shogun]

I say Chinaren goes in as himself, bound for something funny.

Good story Chinaren! I rarely sign in but I do come here once in a while to read, I like this so far. I would like in to inquire whether I can be in on this story. My avatar is what I look like :shock:

Anyways, can't wait for the poll the next chapter. Might see you around.

[D-Lotus]

I like Rai's idea. Ask Rai (in the story) what China's physical appearance, and then try to impersonate him. If China 2 is blue, then China 1 dies himself blue as well. :)

[Chinaren]

Okay then. It's time to gorge on the lard of voting.

Go to it people, I know I can trust* you!

...and welcome back Shogs! Nice to see you still around. :D


*To do totally what I don't expect. ;)

[Guest]

O my. I would then probably be a goddess and i'd be an outcast.. and I'd not be cool but plain. I'd then show my face frequintly rather than hide in the shadows, while the tumulus voices is then missing from my mind....

Goody will wait to see more!!

[Lilith]

what is the matter with u people?! Distractions always work! (MOst of the time)

[Alegria]

A skinny Key???

Scary. :-o

voted for china being china!

[Guest]

Resistance!!!! AAAAARRRGGG!!! ATTACK!! REINFORCEMENTS!!! ATTACK!!!

It be cool to have a risistance.... :-D :P

[Crunchyfrog]

Voted for Chin disguising himself as himself...

*picks up bag of popcorn and starts munching*

:D

[The White Blacksmith]

chinaren wrote: A sweet little puppy, Fenris,

I never though I'd hear those words...

If this is FI, can I be the leader of the B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S?

[Guest]

*sits and waits for next chapter while grumbling*

[Chinaren]

The White Blacksmith wrote:

If this is FI, can I be the leader of the B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S?

I already have someone in that role Whitey, but I will think of something for you, fear not. ;)

The next chapter will be out soon. I have about half of it written already. :lol:

[Chinaren]

Chapter 3. Evil Party.


Chinaren turned to Rai. “Thank-you for helping us, but we need to go before we cause you trouble.”

“You’re welcome,” said Rai. “Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on then? Who are you?”

“It’s complicated,” replied Chinaren. “Let’s just say we are passing through here, and our exit is in Chinaren Hall.”

“Okay. Maybe it’s better I don’t know. Lordy is at the party now. If you leave the back way you should be able to get out of the park and to the hall. I don’t know how you will get in, but if you do then meet Lordy. I will contact him and tell him you are coming.”

“Thanks,” said Crady, then jumped as a loud hammering came from the door.

“That’s the B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S now,” said Rai. “Quickly, go this way, follow the path and you should be okay.” She ushered them out of a small door in the back. “Good luck!” She said when they were all through, and closed the portal on them.

“Let’s get going,” said Crunchy.

They stumbled along a small path that wound its way around a dense growth of bushes, hiding them from prying eyes.

“So, how are we going to get into the party then?” Asked Crady, ducking underneath a thorny branch.

“I figured I could disguise myself,” replied Chinaren.

“As what?”

“As myself! I can go as the Mayor!” He beamed widely. “Clever eh?”

“Clever like a mule,” said Crunchy, but under his breath.

“Are you sure?” asked Crady. “What if you are not the same in this dimension?”

“I don’t see that we have any choice. It’s worth a try anyway, unless you have a better idea?”

“Maybe we could beat our way in with sticks,” suggested Crady.

Crunchy looked at her. “Yeesss. I think I will watch you try, see how far you get. These B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S don’t seem like the type that would be easily swayed by three lunatics waving branches around.”

“We are here,” said Chinaren.

They all peered through the bushes onto a street. Further up the road, lit up with a multitude of colored lights, was Chinaren Hall. Several large figures in heavy black armor could be seen at the main entrance.

“Are you ready?” asked Chinaren.

“No,” said Crady.

“Right, let’s go then,“ Chinaren said, ignoring her. “Leave the talking to me,”. He de-activated his bracelet disguise and stepped onto the road.

“It’s what you are good at,” muttered Frog as she climbed daintily over a branch.

Chinaren waddled up the road confidently, the other two trailing behind, pulled along reluctantly in his wake.

Two of the large gentlemen in black, both wielding heavy batons, watched them approach.

“Hullo hullo,” said one of them, his voice echoing out of a helmet that had B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S tattooed across the front in blood red lettering. “What’s this little party then? Who are you?”

“What do you mean ‘who are you?’” Said Chinaren. “I’m the mayor you idiot.”

The mans expression darkened, and he began to raise his club, but the second guard put a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait a minute Bert, he does look like the Mayor.”

“Don’t be foolish! Everyone knows Chinaren is blue!”

“I am?” Asked Chinaren. “I mean, yes I am!” He improvised quickly, remembering what Rai had said about the mayor here. “But Key told me this was a fancy dress party!”

The B.A.S.T.A.R.D was about to say something when the second one nudged him and winked. “Oh, yes! So it is! Go on in your mayornalness!”

The other guard caught on to this apparent joke by Key on the Mayor, and they both tittered.

“What is going on here sergeant?” A new figure stepped up. He was wearing a dark gray uniform with a long cloak and high collar. In one hand was a riding crop, which his tapped against knee high black boots.

“General Sir! We were just vetting the guests Sir!” Both guards stood ramrod straight.

D-Lotus stepped forward slowly, the boots making a clicking sound on the path. “And why would we be vetting his Lordship the Mayor?” His voice was low and yet full of menace.

“S…Sir, just following orders sir! Everyone to be checked sir!” A bead of sweat ran down the side of the guards’ face.

The General breathed in deeply through his nose and looked at the man for a moment. Chinaren thought that the guard was going to wet himself. After a long pause D-Lotus nodded. “Very well.” He turned and bowed slightly to Chinaren, clicking his heels as he did so. “Mr. Mayor, please proceed with your… guests.”

Chinaren managed to remember to put on an idiot smile. “Thank-you,” he said and ambled forward, trying not to shiver. The others followed, with D-Lotus looking on at their receding forms thoughtfully.

“Holy shit! He was scary!” Said Frog in a low voice. “Was that D-Lotus?”

“The one from this dimension, yes,” replied Chinaren.

“Wow.”

“Nice boots though,” said Crady.

….

They wandered up the path without further incident, though several guests pointed at Chinaren and giggled.

Crady looked about. This hall seemed similar to the last time she was here, in the other dimension, though there seemed to me more of a subdued atmosphere this time.

They approached the steps to the main entrance where a tall bald man dressed in austere black clothes was waving a book at people who were mingling about.

“Repent! Repent your sins! The Great God Idearius tells us that we must be Pure! We must follow the path of humility and chastity! Repent I say, and you will be saved!”

“Is that Smee?” asked Crunchy. “He’s certainly not the same as ours!”

Crady nodded, remembering Smee’s scantily clad playmates in the other dimension.

They passed the preacher, who bowed stiffly at Chinaren. “Mr. Mayor! You still have time to repent and gain forgiveness!”

“Yes, maybe so, but perhaps just a small drink first eh?” Replied Chinaren.

“Drink is the construct of the demon Humdrumerous! Thou shall be dragged into his hellfire and roast forever in boredom!

“Yes. Well, it’s a chance I am willing to take,” said Chinaren edging past.

Crady followed, avoiding Smee’s stare, and entered the hall. “Whoo, déjà vu,” she said.

The hall was once again full of revelry, color and life. To one side a striking figure in black leather was surrounded by various lackeys and onlookers. As Crady watched she shouted. “Come on Fenris! Fetch!” She threw a red rubber ball, and a small shape detached itself from the group, barking happily. Fenris jumped up to catch the ball, missed and yelped as he fell into the punch bowl, much to the amusement of Lilith, the Dark Fairy and her hangers-on.

“Oh, that was wonderful!” Said a small duck-like figure to Lilith’s right. “You are so wonderful and clever Lilith!”

“Oh be quiet Polokin,” said Lilith.

“Over there!” Said Chinaren, nudging Crady and distracting her.

She followed Chianren’s finger to see a small doll-like figure with cute button eyes. “Who’s that?” She asked.

“That’s Lordy, in his alter ego. I figured he would be something like this in this dimension.” Chinaren started across the floor when a tall thin figure stepped up to him.

“Mr. Mayor, I would like a word with you if you please.”

Chinaren looked up. “Whitey? Is that you?”

The Black Blacksmith frowned, and brushed her top, which was made of the finest cut silk. “As you know Mr.Mayor, my accounting department still has questions about certain… financial irregularities. I wish to question you further on these.”

“I don’t have time now Whit.. Blacky,” said Chinaren, waving a hand dismissively.

“I wasn’t asking,” replied The Blacksmith. “Don’t make me call my personal guard.”

Chinaren paused and then sighed. “As you will.” He turned to Crady. “Go and meet Lordy,” he hissed.

Crady nodded and watched as the short orange figure followed Blacky across the hall. “Come on,” she said, and she walked with Frog over to Lordy. Who watched them approach warily.

“Lord of the Night I presume?” Asked Crady.

“You must be the ones that Rai told me about,” squeaked Lordy, “but where is the third one? The fat woman?”

“Uh? Oh, her. She was, er, distracted,” said Crady. “Listen, we need your help.”

“Well, Rai said you were friends, so what can I do for you?” Lordy asked.

“Who is that?” asked Crunchy, pointing to a new figure that had just entered the hall.

They followed her gaze.

A woman on each arm, the tall man strode forward with an arrogant strut. His tuxedo bow tie casually unraveled in the coolest of fashion statements. Stopping briefly to pick up a glass of drink from a passing waiter, his piercing gaze swept the room, to come to rest upon Crunchy Frog, who gave a little yelp and blushed.

“That?” Lordy glanced over. “That’s Smudger, he’s the city’s resident stud.”

“He’s so dreamy!” Said Frog, clasping her hands together and batting her eyes.

Dismissing his entourage with a flip of his fingers, Smudger strode over to Frog, a predatory smile on his face. The abandoned ladies gave Frog hateful stares in turn.

As Crunchy tittered and blushed, he bowed slightly in front of her. “My word. An angel has fallen from the sky,” he said in a deep smooth voice calculated to send shivers down the backs of the nearby females.

Crady rolled her eyes. “Oh please!” She muttered. “Add a little more corn why not?”

Ignoring her, Smudger held out a hand to Frog. “My dear, what is your name? No! Don’t. You must let me guess as we dance. Come!” Without waiting for an answer, the dashing figure pulled her in his strong masculine arms towards the dance floor. Crunchy Frog was swept along beside him, giggling all the while.

Crady had opened her mouth to say something when they were interrupted once again. “My dear little Buttons!”

Lordy cringed. “Oh no,” he said, but quietly.

The glittering form of Lilith swooped down upon the small and soft figure of Lord of the Night. “My sweet darling doll! Why didn’t you say hello? I was looking all over for you!” She picked up Lordy and cuddled him in her bosom, smothering his response.

“Come! We simply must dance! This one is my personal favorite!” With that she followed Smudger out onto the dance floor, manhandling her victim all the while, ignoring his muffled protests.

Crady looked around. Beside her a small ducklike person was frowning. “I just don’t see what she sees in him,” Polokin muttered.

Crady looked around desperately. Chinaren was sitting at a table looking at a variety of documents that the Black Blacksmith had produced from a case, Crunchy was doing some kind of high kicking dance with Smudger, and Lordy was buried in Lilith’s bosom.

Now what was she supposed to do?



>>>>>>

So, what’s the plan? What’s the next step for Crady?

<<<<<<

[Lilith]

NOT FUNNY, CHINAREN! I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE MADE IT VERY CLEAR THAT THE LILITH IN FI IS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN IF, WHO HAPPENS TO BE ME!
*regains composure* now, that being said maybe Crady should go ahead and dance with Polokin and try and manuver herself around the dancing guests and listen in on convos. (not that i have ever done that, um , er.. well)

[Guest]

Quote: Crady followed, avoiding Smee’s stare, and entered the hall. “Whoo, déjà vu,” she said.

Desperate!! what what.... mmm. I know she should go find herself.
Desperate for something to keep me busy. :D
This was funny, made me laugh. I would also go look around for other places and poeple, just for the heck of it, she'd probably come around something interesting. Or she could go sit in a corner and watch as they dance... :D

Really this chapter gave me quite a few laughes. I enjoyed It, especailly how lordly's position was suddenly swooped infront of him. And Smee preaching... repent your sins!!! :)

[Idea master]

I'm surprised there isn't a Stupidium Master in this alternate reality that you've created for us, China.

Anyway, we clearly need to distract the Black Blacksmith. The only person who might have shoddier accounting than Chinaren is Key himself. Let drop a few hints, perhaps a forged document or three, and the auditor Blacksmith ought to be all over Key in no time.

Lordy will go flying during the crescendo of the song into a nearby punch-bowl.

And as for Crunchy...well, we can always take a few losses, for the good of the city, right?

Alright, alright! Let's remind her of the state of the OTHER Smudger. That ought to get her away from him quickly.

[Smudger]

HEY! There's nothing wrong with me! :D I'm merely a tiny, teensy bit hunched is all. Great chapter China. I think saving Lordy from Lilith's bosom is imperative to getting out of this alternate universe.