City of IF

[Christalnightshade]

Resistance!!!! AAAAARRRGGG!!! ATTACK!! REINFORCEMENTS!!! ATTACK!!!

It be cool to have a risistance.... :-D :P

[Crunchyfrog]

Voted for Chin disguising himself as himself...

*picks up bag of popcorn and starts munching*

:D

[The White Blacksmith]

chinaren wrote: A sweet little puppy, Fenris,

I never though I'd hear those words...

If this is FI, can I be the leader of the B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S?

[Guest]

*sits and waits for next chapter while grumbling*

[Chinaren]

The White Blacksmith wrote:

If this is FI, can I be the leader of the B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S?

I already have someone in that role Whitey, but I will think of something for you, fear not. ;)

The next chapter will be out soon. I have about half of it written already. :lol:

[Chinaren]

Chapter 3. Evil Party.


Chinaren turned to Rai. “Thank-you for helping us, but we need to go before we cause you trouble.”

“You’re welcome,” said Rai. “Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on then? Who are you?”

“It’s complicated,” replied Chinaren. “Let’s just say we are passing through here, and our exit is in Chinaren Hall.”

“Okay. Maybe it’s better I don’t know. Lordy is at the party now. If you leave the back way you should be able to get out of the park and to the hall. I don’t know how you will get in, but if you do then meet Lordy. I will contact him and tell him you are coming.”

“Thanks,” said Crady, then jumped as a loud hammering came from the door.

“That’s the B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S now,” said Rai. “Quickly, go this way, follow the path and you should be okay.” She ushered them out of a small door in the back. “Good luck!” She said when they were all through, and closed the portal on them.

“Let’s get going,” said Crunchy.

They stumbled along a small path that wound its way around a dense growth of bushes, hiding them from prying eyes.

“So, how are we going to get into the party then?” Asked Crady, ducking underneath a thorny branch.

“I figured I could disguise myself,” replied Chinaren.

“As what?”

“As myself! I can go as the Mayor!” He beamed widely. “Clever eh?”

“Clever like a mule,” said Crunchy, but under his breath.

“Are you sure?” asked Crady. “What if you are not the same in this dimension?”

“I don’t see that we have any choice. It’s worth a try anyway, unless you have a better idea?”

“Maybe we could beat our way in with sticks,” suggested Crady.

Crunchy looked at her. “Yeesss. I think I will watch you try, see how far you get. These B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S don’t seem like the type that would be easily swayed by three lunatics waving branches around.”

“We are here,” said Chinaren.

They all peered through the bushes onto a street. Further up the road, lit up with a multitude of colored lights, was Chinaren Hall. Several large figures in heavy black armor could be seen at the main entrance.

“Are you ready?” asked Chinaren.

“No,” said Crady.

“Right, let’s go then,“ Chinaren said, ignoring her. “Leave the talking to me,”. He de-activated his bracelet disguise and stepped onto the road.

“It’s what you are good at,” muttered Frog as she climbed daintily over a branch.

Chinaren waddled up the road confidently, the other two trailing behind, pulled along reluctantly in his wake.

Two of the large gentlemen in black, both wielding heavy batons, watched them approach.

“Hullo hullo,” said one of them, his voice echoing out of a helmet that had B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S tattooed across the front in blood red lettering. “What’s this little party then? Who are you?”

“What do you mean ‘who are you?’” Said Chinaren. “I’m the mayor you idiot.”

The mans expression darkened, and he began to raise his club, but the second guard put a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait a minute Bert, he does look like the Mayor.”

“Don’t be foolish! Everyone knows Chinaren is blue!”

“I am?” Asked Chinaren. “I mean, yes I am!” He improvised quickly, remembering what Rai had said about the mayor here. “But Key told me this was a fancy dress party!”

The B.A.S.T.A.R.D was about to say something when the second one nudged him and winked. “Oh, yes! So it is! Go on in your mayornalness!”

The other guard caught on to this apparent joke by Key on the Mayor, and they both tittered.

“What is going on here sergeant?” A new figure stepped up. He was wearing a dark gray uniform with a long cloak and high collar. In one hand was a riding crop, which his tapped against knee high black boots.

“General Sir! We were just vetting the guests Sir!” Both guards stood ramrod straight.

D-Lotus stepped forward slowly, the boots making a clicking sound on the path. “And why would we be vetting his Lordship the Mayor?” His voice was low and yet full of menace.

“S…Sir, just following orders sir! Everyone to be checked sir!” A bead of sweat ran down the side of the guards’ face.

The General breathed in deeply through his nose and looked at the man for a moment. Chinaren thought that the guard was going to wet himself. After a long pause D-Lotus nodded. “Very well.” He turned and bowed slightly to Chinaren, clicking his heels as he did so. “Mr. Mayor, please proceed with your… guests.”

Chinaren managed to remember to put on an idiot smile. “Thank-you,” he said and ambled forward, trying not to shiver. The others followed, with D-Lotus looking on at their receding forms thoughtfully.

“Holy shit! He was scary!” Said Frog in a low voice. “Was that D-Lotus?”

“The one from this dimension, yes,” replied Chinaren.

“Wow.”

“Nice boots though,” said Crady.

….

They wandered up the path without further incident, though several guests pointed at Chinaren and giggled.

Crady looked about. This hall seemed similar to the last time she was here, in the other dimension, though there seemed to me more of a subdued atmosphere this time.

They approached the steps to the main entrance where a tall bald man dressed in austere black clothes was waving a book at people who were mingling about.

“Repent! Repent your sins! The Great God Idearius tells us that we must be Pure! We must follow the path of humility and chastity! Repent I say, and you will be saved!”

“Is that Smee?” asked Crunchy. “He’s certainly not the same as ours!”

Crady nodded, remembering Smee’s scantily clad playmates in the other dimension.

They passed the preacher, who bowed stiffly at Chinaren. “Mr. Mayor! You still have time to repent and gain forgiveness!”

“Yes, maybe so, but perhaps just a small drink first eh?” Replied Chinaren.

“Drink is the construct of the demon Humdrumerous! Thou shall be dragged into his hellfire and roast forever in boredom!

“Yes. Well, it’s a chance I am willing to take,” said Chinaren edging past.

Crady followed, avoiding Smee’s stare, and entered the hall. “Whoo, déjà vu,” she said.

The hall was once again full of revelry, color and life. To one side a striking figure in black leather was surrounded by various lackeys and onlookers. As Crady watched she shouted. “Come on Fenris! Fetch!” She threw a red rubber ball, and a small shape detached itself from the group, barking happily. Fenris jumped up to catch the ball, missed and yelped as he fell into the punch bowl, much to the amusement of Lilith, the Dark Fairy and her hangers-on.

“Oh, that was wonderful!” Said a small duck-like figure to Lilith’s right. “You are so wonderful and clever Lilith!”

“Oh be quiet Polokin,” said Lilith.

“Over there!” Said Chinaren, nudging Crady and distracting her.

She followed Chianren’s finger to see a small doll-like figure with cute button eyes. “Who’s that?” She asked.

“That’s Lordy, in his alter ego. I figured he would be something like this in this dimension.” Chinaren started across the floor when a tall thin figure stepped up to him.

“Mr. Mayor, I would like a word with you if you please.”

Chinaren looked up. “Whitey? Is that you?”

The Black Blacksmith frowned, and brushed her top, which was made of the finest cut silk. “As you know Mr.Mayor, my accounting department still has questions about certain… financial irregularities. I wish to question you further on these.”

“I don’t have time now Whit.. Blacky,” said Chinaren, waving a hand dismissively.

“I wasn’t asking,” replied The Blacksmith. “Don’t make me call my personal guard.”

Chinaren paused and then sighed. “As you will.” He turned to Crady. “Go and meet Lordy,” he hissed.

Crady nodded and watched as the short orange figure followed Blacky across the hall. “Come on,” she said, and she walked with Frog over to Lordy. Who watched them approach warily.

“Lord of the Night I presume?” Asked Crady.

“You must be the ones that Rai told me about,” squeaked Lordy, “but where is the third one? The fat woman?”

“Uh? Oh, her. She was, er, distracted,” said Crady. “Listen, we need your help.”

“Well, Rai said you were friends, so what can I do for you?” Lordy asked.

“Who is that?” asked Crunchy, pointing to a new figure that had just entered the hall.

They followed her gaze.

A woman on each arm, the tall man strode forward with an arrogant strut. His tuxedo bow tie casually unraveled in the coolest of fashion statements. Stopping briefly to pick up a glass of drink from a passing waiter, his piercing gaze swept the room, to come to rest upon Crunchy Frog, who gave a little yelp and blushed.

“That?” Lordy glanced over. “That’s Smudger, he’s the city’s resident stud.”

“He’s so dreamy!” Said Frog, clasping her hands together and batting her eyes.

Dismissing his entourage with a flip of his fingers, Smudger strode over to Frog, a predatory smile on his face. The abandoned ladies gave Frog hateful stares in turn.

As Crunchy tittered and blushed, he bowed slightly in front of her. “My word. An angel has fallen from the sky,” he said in a deep smooth voice calculated to send shivers down the backs of the nearby females.

Crady rolled her eyes. “Oh please!” She muttered. “Add a little more corn why not?”

Ignoring her, Smudger held out a hand to Frog. “My dear, what is your name? No! Don’t. You must let me guess as we dance. Come!” Without waiting for an answer, the dashing figure pulled her in his strong masculine arms towards the dance floor. Crunchy Frog was swept along beside him, giggling all the while.

Crady had opened her mouth to say something when they were interrupted once again. “My dear little Buttons!”

Lordy cringed. “Oh no,” he said, but quietly.

The glittering form of Lilith swooped down upon the small and soft figure of Lord of the Night. “My sweet darling doll! Why didn’t you say hello? I was looking all over for you!” She picked up Lordy and cuddled him in her bosom, smothering his response.

“Come! We simply must dance! This one is my personal favorite!” With that she followed Smudger out onto the dance floor, manhandling her victim all the while, ignoring his muffled protests.

Crady looked around. Beside her a small ducklike person was frowning. “I just don’t see what she sees in him,” Polokin muttered.

Crady looked around desperately. Chinaren was sitting at a table looking at a variety of documents that the Black Blacksmith had produced from a case, Crunchy was doing some kind of high kicking dance with Smudger, and Lordy was buried in Lilith’s bosom.

Now what was she supposed to do?



>>>>>>

So, what’s the plan? What’s the next step for Crady?

<<<<<<

[Lilith]

NOT FUNNY, CHINAREN! I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE MADE IT VERY CLEAR THAT THE LILITH IN FI IS DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE IN IF, WHO HAPPENS TO BE ME!
*regains composure* now, that being said maybe Crady should go ahead and dance with Polokin and try and manuver herself around the dancing guests and listen in on convos. (not that i have ever done that, um , er.. well)

[Christalnightshade]

Quote: Crady followed, avoiding Smee’s stare, and entered the hall. “Whoo, déjà vu,” she said.

Desperate!! what what.... mmm. I know she should go find herself.
Desperate for something to keep me busy. :D
This was funny, made me laugh. I would also go look around for other places and poeple, just for the heck of it, she'd probably come around something interesting. Or she could go sit in a corner and watch as they dance... :D

Really this chapter gave me quite a few laughes. I enjoyed It, especailly how lordly's position was suddenly swooped infront of him. And Smee preaching... repent your sins!!! :)

[Idea master]

I'm surprised there isn't a Stupidium Master in this alternate reality that you've created for us, China.

Anyway, we clearly need to distract the Black Blacksmith. The only person who might have shoddier accounting than Chinaren is Key himself. Let drop a few hints, perhaps a forged document or three, and the auditor Blacksmith ought to be all over Key in no time.

Lordy will go flying during the crescendo of the song into a nearby punch-bowl.

And as for Crunchy...well, we can always take a few losses, for the good of the city, right?

Alright, alright! Let's remind her of the state of the OTHER Smudger. That ought to get her away from him quickly.

[Smudger]

HEY! There's nothing wrong with me! :D I'm merely a tiny, teensy bit hunched is all. Great chapter China. I think saving Lordy from Lilith's bosom is imperative to getting out of this alternate universe.

[Kalanna Rai]

Well since in real IF Crady petitioned Key for help at one point I think she should make the mistake of trying it again in FI...only Key naturally decides to make her the prime source of entertainment...leaving it up to the others to figure out how to rescue her.

[dinranwen]

You are evil cruel insane....and a pure Genius!

That being said,

*clears throat* I F5 Rai....that should be really fun to watch.

I also glad that you had the wisdom not to describe Din in FI...I would continue this trend if you don't want to end up a little bald ex-orange monster. And no that wasn't a threat...merely a creative insitive. *smiles*

[LordoftheNight]

Now, this is a situation. Here's me, once again trapped in Lilith's bosom, while Froggy is stuck being dreamy. And with Smudger - how unlucky can you get :P.

I think the first priority is to rescue Frogster - that would be a fate worse than death. Lordy can stay where he is for now (or is that where I am for now - I'm never quite sure with these alternate realities). If I am (he is) still High Chanceller in that universe, then he might be the best bet for helping China get rid of the Black Whitesmith.

Of course, I forsee Blackie being sniffed at 'Buttons' interferal, so that could cause problems. Or, it could open up possiblities for me to see my alternative alternate personality. If that makes sense.

[Shogun]

lordofthenight wrote: Now, this is a situation. Here's me, once again trapped in Lilith's bosom,

Not a bad thing may I add.

[D-Lotus]

Lol, Lillith and Lordy, how cute.

And as for my portrayal... is my avatar really so misleading about my personality? :P

Funny again, China.

I have no clue what Crady should do. Maybe find her way to the room where she saw BS attempt his evilness, in hopes of finding that machine again- which she can reverse?

[Alegria]

Huh, what to do?

Listening to other people and seeing them would be fun to watch, but would fail to move the plot forward.

She could always meet people going to rescue Crunchy.

Of course, then rescuing their guide would be imparitive, as would distracting Blacky to save Chinaren.

Very funny chapter, can't wait to read more.

[Argonaut]

seems like the question everyone's trying to answer is who to try and rescue first. Well I can't think of anything clever to get Lordy, China or Crunchy out of their respective jams. So, how about Crady goes right no to looking for the machine that will get them back, and hopes the others can get themselves out of the party on their own.

[The White Blacksmith]

I say Chinaren pays me the money! He has severe debts, and if he pays now he'll stil be in line for no-claims discounts from Blacky insurance inc.! Erm, not that he would in any way need to claim. After all, Blacky inc. strictly denies any and all accusations of bribing D-Lilypad in return for services involving non-paying customers!

Erm, ahem *deactivates Black Whitesmith mode* Yes, I think they should do whatever everyone else has suggested. Very good!

[Crunchyfrog]

Hehe, okay, well, Crunchy's involuntary habit of changing gender should send Smudger packing at some point, probably to the loony bin...! Chinaren has to keep up the appearance of a complete goofball who is blue but has been painted orange. Perhaps blowing his cover in some way... (the orange paint doesn't rub off, or he just isn't acting stupid enough) might create enough of a diversion to get cute liddle Lordy out of his pickle.

Oh, and talking of stupid, yeah, I agree with IM, we really need a Stupidium Master, and he REALLY needs to be stupid. I mean MEGA-DUMB. Sort of casting random stupidium fuelled spells to generally mess things up. :P

*orders fries and Fanta, puts feet up and waits for commercial break to finish* :D

[LordoftheNight]

Just for all the new-timers out here, I thought I'd post what my alter-ego looks like. In IF at least. I'm not sure if this is what Chinaren's talking about for FI, but it's worth a shot.

[The White Blacksmith]

Ooh, at some point in the story can we throw Lordy to Fenris as a toy? If he's anything like my puppy Lordy will have a few less limbs and no ears/head. I want to see that!

[Lilith]

*is laughing hystericallY* Great idea, Whitey! That is something I might pay cash to see! Lordy getting ripped limb from limb... Muahahahahahahahaha!

[The White Blacksmith]

In lordoftheday mode. Don't forget.

[Christalnightshade]

AH!! sorry for earliers post... had a bit of a fight *pokes brother with stick*

Well. I think if king is an tirent he should destroy the moment of party when he walks in and take out everyone that is not how he remembers them and throw them in jail.

Or when he disturbs blbla. Everything falls silent and then, he annonces something-- dont know what, mabe he heard a rumour of stranger walking around.

But when he looks about room -- they are gone. see everything is safe. Erm.

Or the party can go wrong all on it's own...

And christalnightshade should go look for herslef... Or anything intersting and new faces and info... ect and places...

[The White Blacksmith]

dinranwen wrote:
I also glad that you had the wisdom not to describe Din in FI...

Well, we don't know who was hanging off the arm of Smudger as he came in, do we?

[Lilith]

ooooh.... correct Whitey.. maybe that was Din..

oooh China's gonna use this to his advantage anyway even if it wasn't what he was intending.....

...................and Din's gonna kill him! :lol: :P

[The White Blacksmith]

Oh aye. *settles down to watch*

Popcorn anyone?

[Chinaren]

K, I have merged all the suggestions, so dip your cup into the punch bowl of voting.

I like the idea of a Stupidium Master, watch this space for a guest appearance. Oh, and Din, your alter ego would hardly miss a party now, would she? ;) :lol:

[The White Blacksmith]

For a moment there I thought that the first oftion said 'Crady explodes'...

*drinks punch*

[Lilith]

I must agree with Whitey on this one..... and besides it would give China some more room to write with by having to describe everyone's escape from their current situations.

[The White Blacksmith]

And thus more chapters for us to read

[Sasuke]

this is really funny Chinaren It lowered your Insanely Rich Jerk meter a notch or two but I'd love to see what I'd look like in FI so do you think I can get put in

[Chinaren]

Chapter 4. Party Poopers.


“You really are sumptuous you know,” crooned Smudger, his hands wandering lower.

Crunchy Frog giggled and pulled his hand back up. “Ooh, you are a one!” She exclaimed.

“So my dear, are you new? I haven’t seen you here before. I would have noticed such radiance.”

Crunchy blushed. “I am just passing through,” she said.

“Well, I hope you will allow me to show you various sights.” Smudger pressed close. “There are many marvelous things to see in the Imperial City of FI. The Black tower of Stoatly Torture, the DukeReg pits. The wondrous bed-chamber of Smudger…”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Crunchy as he tried to avoid stepping on Smudgers’ toes.

His dance partner did a double take. “Wait a minute! A minute ago…”

Crunchy shrugged. “I know, I come and go from time to time.”

Smudger paused, then shrugged. “Mmmm, this should prove an interesting night.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Crunchy smiled, but gently disengaged. “I look forward to it, but if you would excuse me for a minute, I must speak to my friend…”

“Of course, of course. Later though?”

Crunchy waved his fingers and grinned. “Don’t hold your breath,” he muttered under his breath, and set off towards where he had left the others.

The only problem was, they were no where to be seen…

>

An usher, dressed in black and gold, cleared his throat and announced: “Fresh from the successful torture of the Brigand Masterweaver in the Arena, I have the honor to present the esteemed Mod for HEM: Dinranwen!” He stepped to one side as the doors swung back to reveal a figure, dressed, if the word could apply to a thin strip of gauze wrapped loosely round the body, in a sparkling white outfit studded with precious jewels.

Dinny swept into the hall, flashing bright teeth in a blinding smile. “Darlings! How glad you are to see me! No, no please, don’t get up! A simple curtsey will do just fine! Ahh! How are you Alegria, you really must get those sores seen to you know. Now, be a good little boy and fetch me a drink would you?”

Patting Alegra on the back, and subconsciously wiping her hand clean, Dinrenwen looked about. Her smile suddenly ceased as she saw Lilith, still on the dance floor, with Lordy’s little legs protruding from the top of her dress.

Pushing Alegra to the floor, causing the poor cripple to pour drink over his own head, the Mod of HEM stalked over to the dancing Dark Fairy.

“What,” she demanded, “are you doing with my little Lordy?” She pointed to Lordy’s legs as they wiggled about from Lilith’s cleavage.

“I am showing him a good time!” Lilith smiled an insincere smile.

A crowd began gathering around the two.

“Well, I think he has had enough of your smelly underwear now. Hand him over to me!” Din held her hand out.

Lilith smiled even wider. “Firstly,” she said. “I don’t wear underwear. Secondly, what makes you think my little Lordy-Wordy would want to consort with a harlot?”

“Aaaah,” said the crowd as one.

“He’s stuffed down your dress isn’t he?” Responded Dinrenwen.

“Ooooh!”

“Leave Lilith alone!” Piped up Polokin.

“Quiet ducky,” snapped Dinranwen, giving Polokin a slap around the head.

“Let the duck be bitch!” Snarled Lilith, extending her claws.

“Make me!”

“Not a problem!” Lilith launched herself at Dinranwen, nails aimed for the eyes. The HEM Mod countered, pulling at the Evil fairies’ wings.

“Tart!”

“Whore!”

“Hooker!”

“Visitor!”

The crowd’s heads swung back and forth as the punches and insults flew. Dinranwen grabbed Lordy’s legs and pulled the little Moderator out of the bosom of Lilith, who snatched at the little doll’s arms in turn.

“Let go of him! He only likes true Evil!”

“What’s he doing with you then?”

Lilith and Dinranwen yanked at Lordy, who began to cry as the tug of war developed.

“Let me go! Pleeeese!”

Lilith suddenly kicked Dinranwen in the shin, but lost her grip on Lordy as she did so. Dinny was taken by surprise and Lordoftheday went flying over their heads.

The crowd followed his progress as he tumbled through the air, wailing all the while, to eventually land with a dull splash in the much abused punch bowl.

“Look what you did!” Cried Lilith.

“It’s your fault!” Dinranwen countered, and they were off again, rolling about on the floor, gouging and scratching whist the onlookers cheered and placed bets.

Crunchy frog made his way over to the bowl and pulled the dripping Lordy out of it. “Are you okay?”

Lordy sniffed. “Those bullies,” he said, wiping a tear away. “One day they will get theirs, you will see.”

“Hopefully we won’t be around then,” said Crady, joining them.

“Where have you been?” Asked Frog.

“Looking around. If the machine is anywhere, it must be upstairs.” She gestured at the grand stairway.

“We need to get Chinaren first,” said Crunchy.

“Why?”

“Well... er, give me a minute to think.”

They looked over at the table where Chinaren was sitting glumly as The Black Blacksmith waved pieces of paper with numbers on them at him.

>

“Mr. Mayor,” The Blacksmith leaned on the table, “you aren’t co-operating. Do you really want me to get the whips out?”

Chinaren rubbed his hands together. “Ah, that’s better. Finally we stop this Tax nonsense and get down to some fun. Do you have a spare mask? I have left my one behind…”

“MR. MAYOR!” Blacky slammed her hand on the table, making Chinaren jump. “My whips are not for fun…”

“Really? It’s just that… you know… I mean, I heard…” Chinaren trailed off as the Taxation officer glared at him.

“I can see that I am going to have to report back to Key when he arrives…”

Her statement was cut off by a loud blast from two trumpeters stationed at the main doors, which drowned out all the activity in the room. Dinranwen and Evil Lilith hastily climbed to their feet and straightened their garments.

The guests directed their full attention to the doors as they swung open. The usher stepped forward again and spoke in a loud clear voice.

“Lords and Ladies, you have the rare honor and privilege to be graced by none other than your Benevolent and Fearless King. The ruler who knows no equal, as handsome as he is intelligent. The man who led FI to victory in the great FO war, razing our ancient enemy to the ground and enslaving the entire population! The merciless mind that crushed underfoot the Brigands of Beetrootland. Un-matched in wit! Unequalled in history! More than a mere mortal, but a God who stalks the earth! Bow low now, and tremble in fear as He walks amongst you! You who are unworthy to lick the undersides of his shoes after he has waded through dog poop! You are as insignificant worms next to a Mighty gold dragon! You who are…urg.”

The man’s speech was cut short suddenly. Blood trickled from his mouth as he whispered…”The King.” Then he dropped to the ground, a dagger protruding from his back.

A man stepped forward, stooping briefly to retrieve the knife. Dressed in the finest black robes, edged with real gold trim, the slim figure of the Tyrant stood for a moment in the doorway. His diamond and Idearium crown glistened with a life of its own.

Key smiled. “What a dullard!”

The crowd immediately burst into laughter, as if the statement was the funniest thing that had ever fallen from anyone’s lips.

The king moved into the room. In one hand he held a black stick with a golden cord attached, trailing behind. He tugged on it as he paced forward. “Come on Stupidium Master!” He said.

Stumbling after Key another form, dressed in luminous green and pink robes, shambled forward. Drool slithered down his chin and he looked about the hall vacantly.

“Stupidium master has learned another trick today!” The king announced. The crowd clapped politely. “Here, I will show you.” He turned to the un-wizard. “SM! Down! Lay down!”

Stupidium Master looked at him blankly.

“Down! Down I say!” Key brought the stick around and thwacked SM on the side of the head with it. SM fell over.

“Good SMaster!” Beamed Key. The crowd broke out into applause once more, this time with cheering.

“Your majestic imperial wondrous majesty!” The Black Blacksmith called out, scurrying over and bowing low before Key.

“We are being informal today,” said the King. “You may drop the ‘imperial’.”

“Your majestic wondrous majesty is too kind!” Exclaimed Blacky. “But Sire! I have to report Chinaren’s lack of co-operation in my tax investigation!”

“Chinaren?” Key looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Your majestic imperial wondrous majesty! I have been interrogating the Mayor.” The Blacksmith gestured at Chinaren, who stood up and looked around nervously.

Key frowned. “If that is Chinaren, and whoever heard of an Orange Chinaren, then who is this?” He pointed behind him, at the shambling blue form that was just wandering into the hall.

The audience, who were thoroughly enjoying the party so far, looked back and forth at the two Chinarens. One blue and one orange.

Chinaren (orange) raised his hands and moved away from the table. “Your injestic maperial majesticness! I can explain everything!”

“You can?” Key raised an eyebrow.

“Er. No. RUN!” Chinaren shouted, making a dash for the stairs. Crady and Crunchy, still carrying Lordy, hastily followed him.

“Get them!” Shouted Key.

The hall erupted in pandemonium as everyone tried to carry out the King’s command. Dinranwen took advantage of the turmoil to break a bottle over Lilith’s head, flooring the fairy.

Chinaren, Crady and Crunchy ran, jumped and dodged through outstretched hands, barely making it onto the stairs.

A short squat figure dressed in yellow was coming the other way. “I have them!” Shogun cried.

Crunchy kicked him between the legs and the three jumped over his body as it rolled down the stairs, colliding with Alegra and causing a mini-human avalanche.

“That way!” Said Lordy, pointing.

The escapees followed his directions, turning left and right down luxurious passageways, leaving their pursuers behind.

Eventually they burst through a door into a large lab. “Thank the gods!” Crady said as she saw the shape of the Exorciser machine.

Crunchy leaned against the door. “We need to barricade this!” She said.

The others quickly grabbed anything they could find and piled it up, forming a fairly effective blockage just as the first pursuers reached them, hammering on the door.

Chinaren ran over to the machine and started pressing buttons. Nothing happened.

“You have to enter the code!” Said Lordy. “Here, let me!” He toddled over the panel and punched in several numbers.

A dull hum started, rising in pitch until it eventually drowned out the shouting from the crowd. The now familiar hole in the continuum opened, swirling with unreal colors.

“You need to set it for the New Year,” said Chinaren. “It’s dangerous to be in two places at the same time.”

Lordy nodded and fiddled with the controls. “There!” He said finally.

“Great!” Said Crunchy, and dived into the tear in IFSpace-time.

“Wait!” Said Lordy. “It isn’t on full power! It could affect your memory!”

Too late. Crunchy was a dwindling form, falling between dimensions.

A red light started to flash.

“What’s that?” Asked Chinaren.

“The battery is low. That last jump must have drained it.”

“Is it enough to get home?” Asked Crady.

“I don’t know,” said Lordy. “When the power is low the destination-time quantum capacitor may fluctuate randomly, meaning the accelerated transport particles portal jump to inaccurate target zones.”

The others looked at him.

“You could land in a random place and or time,” Lordy sighed.

Chinaren and Crady looked at each other, then at the door that was threatening to give way under repeated poundings.

“I don’t see we have any choice,” said Crady.

“Together then,” said Chinaren.

Crady looked at LordoftheDay. “Will you be okay?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” said Lordy. “I will say you forced me to do your bidding. Go! And… good luck!”

Chinaren and Crady took deep breaths. “Hey, you still haven’t paid me that rent,” said Chinaren.

“Jump!” said Crady.

They jumped.

>

Crunchyfrog dangled dangerously from a tree root that protruded near the top of a cliff face, some distance from the city. Hanging by both hands he stared out to the horizon, where he could see the spires in the mist as the sun began to rise. Something didn't look right. He thought he could see smoke hanging over the whole city. Everything looked dull, not gleaming like it did when he came upon it for the first time a month ago.

He had no idea how he'd got here now. Looking down, there was a narrow ledge about 10 feet below him, then a sheer drop of several hundred feet below that…

>

Crady screamed as Chinaren landed on top of her. “Get off me!”

“Ooof!” Chinaren rolled off her. “Sorry,” he said.

Crady sat up. “Are we home? Did we make it? Where’s Crunchy?”

They looked around.

“Oh dear. Not again,” said Chinaren.


>>>>>>

Crunchy has made it back, just in time for Hangover. China and Crady are still lost though.
And again, another chance for you to suggest where or when they are!

<<<<<<

[Crunchyfrog]

Nice one! And I like the way you got the opening paragraphs of the Hangover in there too!

I think the future this time. One of many possible futures, that is.

A long time in the future, where IF has been dug up by some archaeologists and they have attempted to rebuild it as a museum piece. Not knowing what IF is or was all about, they have nothing but the contents of the storygames to go by.

The Tales of IF forum is the only source of info about the actual inhabitants of the city, and they have attempted to bring back holographic images of us all, but with some interesting 'errors', due to missing information, misinterpretation about customs, character traits, etc.



:D

[LordoftheNight]

Wow Din - I never knew you cared. You should have said something beforehand - I would have...well, probably laughed, but you never know.