City of IF

[dinranwen]

Instict tells me it's Tobias, but curiousity and some insane sense of humor moves be to suggest another option.

How about the return of Prince Not-so-charming? A group of men would have surely followed her and perhaps saw the battle.

Now the prince has saved Lilth just to exact his revenge for what she did to his 'pride'.

So I suggest that she is in the palace, and Prince You-hate-his-guts-but-man-is-he-Cute is walking into the door to taunt poor Lilth and to annouce her trail.

Things could get interesting from there I expect.

[Guest]

I like that idea. It would make the story even more suspenseful than it already is

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[Lilith]

That's why this DP is so important Z...

You guys could have the safe wrap-up scene if you like and end the story there..

But in the other hand, there is still the Alt lands that need to be rebuilt and there could be a war breaking out between them and Jaden. The survivors are still under Jaden's care. Hmm... how complicated.. hmm...

But if you want to end it all romance and sappy *gag me* go ahead.

EDIT: Forgot to add that the ritual/spell that bound the demon queen to the stone could have reciprocated effects on our heroine. Which may lead to other problems..

There is actually alot of play with this area at the moment.. but it all rests in your fingers, audience..

[tramp in a storm]

It can't end yet :(

1) It's a good story which can still go on. It'll be a shame to lock it up so soon.
2) You can't have a happy, lovy dovy ending with (as I think Din was basically saying) Mr Super-duper-WRONG!
3)And anyway, if I'm not mistaken the prophecy mantioned something about her dying? Not saying she can't escape that bit, but at least come really close and struggle to get away from it.
4) What about Tobias?

:lol: Is that enough reasons to keep going? :D

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[Lilith]

GOD DAMNIT Z! WHY CAN'T YOU KEEP YOUR BLOODY MOUTH SHUT!


(oopise. losted my temper didn't I?)

Anyhoot, you weren't supposed to be impressed with her in the first place! And now Big Daddy's awake (Valara was his favorite and only heir). Why is it when I have something up my sleeve, somebody decides to think of it! :x

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[Lilith]

But I do have two more cards to play up my sleeve...

One for the way the story (if it continues) is now..

And another that I just thought of that would throw everyone on their arses... muahahahahaha... I love being me..

So what have we got so far?

Tobias and Turstin
Veltan and Jaden

Anyone think of maybe one of the survivors from the city and back home? Or someone totally new? (which would change story around and around) Or .. *is dragged away with her babbling incoherently falling on deaf ears*

[Crunchyfrog]

Lilith wrote: Why is it when I have something up my sleeve, somebody decides to think of it! :x

Dont give it away if somebody hits the nail on the head too early! :D

Excellent chapter. I haven't a clue what ideas to offer for a DP though. Except run the plot a little deeper - dont end it just yet...

:cool:

[Fats_Masterson]

Wow, interesting story Lilith. It took me forever to finally finish reading it (RL is such an annoying intrusion on the creative process) but wow I'm impressed.

The few criticisms I can offer are:

1) the the story seems really rushed. You have interesting characters with their own motivations and a neat world for them to run around in. Take your time letting the story unfold. A fast pace is good at times, it adds action and suspence, but it has to contrast with slower parts of the story.

and 2) for future villains, flesh them out. A story is as much about the villains as it is about the heroes. In some stories the villain takes the center stage, who is the movie Return of the Jedi about? Luke or Anakin? Although Mr. Lucas took things a little far in the end.

Anyways, about the DP, I say the room is a vision and in walks Selene and Shoren, followed by her Father and Mother. But then this happy little scene is torn apart by a monsterous version of Derek, or Connor, or even Valara. Then Lilith wakes up in the stone circle covered in her own blood and realizes that it isn't over.

Just a thought. :D

Keep up the good work, I was very disappointed at the idea of this neat story just ending like an old Star Trek episode.

Not that there's anything wrong with that!!
*******************************************************
:lol: I love JS

[Lilith]

Shame, shame, shame. You disappoint me, readers. I leave and and return... and I still have a tie.. shame, shame, shame. :-x :x

Oh well. Here we go with the next chappy. Keep your eyes peeled for it. ;)

[Liana]

I've been gone for so long and only missed two chapters? huh.....I expected to miss like four or five! lol! oh well.......it can't end Sis. It just can't. I like you not so secret plot. I can wait to se what your literary geniusness comes up with next!!!

[Sasuke]

Have you ever played 'Arc the lad: twilight of spirits', the wing ripping reminds me of the "A drakker who can't fly, is a drakker who can die [insert darc's scream of pain here]" scene.

Well I caught up, and with my attention, OOOOOOH SHINEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lilith]

Liana wrote: I've been gone for so long and only missed two chapters? huh.....I expected to miss like four or five!

*looks ashamed* I know.... , I know..

Sasuke wrote:
Well I caught up, and with my attention, OOOOOOH SHINEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crap. I am typing slower these days.. expect a new chappy or at least part of a new chappy soon.. I get something typed up and then I look it over and decide it's crap.

[Lilith]

Forgive me for the long break. Here we go!

Chapter 11: The Truth Revealed (part one)

...no one.

“Huh?” I said aloud, the sound reverberating as the heavy oak door swung freely. I made to get up but a hand on my chest thrust out to stop me. I snapped my head to look at who the hand belonged to. It belonged to a man with green eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a small proud smile. I stopped moving and stared at him curiously. He was a fighter from the old days, armor and weapons in an old fashioned style yet made of high quality.

“Well, then. I suppose it was only a matter of time before we met, little one.” He stated, shattering the silence with an weary-sounding voice.

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say or think. “Um... do I.... know you?” I managed, surreptitiously pulling the sheet up and wrapping it around me.

He noticed this slight movement and sighed. “Now, do you really think I would harm my own daughter?”

I gasped, dumbstruck, as a familiar figure coalesced from mist beside him. I knew this figure already, hair like mine, red as fire and silver eyes. Except this time she was angry.

“Cormack! You should not have come here!” She shouted, grasping him by the shoulder and wrenching him around to face her.

“Elian?” He whispered, reaching out to touch her cheek.

She slapped him across the face. “How dare you touch me? After all of the deceit, the lies, the betrayal?”

He held his struck cheek and looked at her incredulously. “Is this about Lady Katherine of Nementon?”

I widened my eyes at the mention of Selene and Shoren’s mother. “What the hell is going on here? ” I exclaimed. “I am sick of being in the dark! Tell me the truth!”

Elian breathed deeply, attempting to quell her anger. “Lilith, this man, your birth father, is the very same man who was married to the Lady Katherine of Nementon, my best friend from childhood. She and I met when somehow, she managed to stumble into Regent in her wolf form by accident. I helped her home and she swore that we would see each other again.” Elian paused for a moment and allowed this new information to sink in. “That was when we were 12. I went out of Regent only once after that, many years later and I ran into trouble. Cormack pulled me out of it and well,..... let’s just say I was very grateful for it. When I learned that he was a leader of a city in dire need of help, I told him that my people could help.” She glared at him. “What he didn’t say was that he was the leader by marriage to Katherine!”

“Wha... uh...” I was throughly confused now but something clicked in my head. “Wait a minute. Am I related to Shoren and Selene, then? Through him?” I pointed at Cormack, understanding slowly what had happened in the past.

Elian closed her eyes and looked away. “Yes.”

Cormack sunk his head in shame and refused to met my eyes.

“But that is barely the beginning of his deception and betrayal... there is much more to the story.” Elian spoke with conviction and glared at Cormack once more.

I sat back and awaited the rest of the tale.

“You wonder what destroyed the rest of the Eldahars? It was him. I let him into Regent to see my home after I knew I carried you and what did he do? He slaughtered them all!” She was nearly shouting now, emotions running deep and unchecked. “Tell her the truth, lecher! Admit it!” She whirled on him in a furious rage, her accusing tone and pointing finger singling him out as he stood straighter and spoke.

“Elian speaks the truth. I killed all of the Eldahars...and then I went after her. Except your mother managed to kill me first and bind my soul to that wretched tree and charge my soul with guarding Regent.” Cormack returned Elian’s glare.

“Why? Why did you hate that place?” I asked quietly, curiosity overcoming reason.

Cormack, my father, licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak. Then he shut it again and cleared his throat. “I didn’t hate that place.. I hated the Eldahars. They shouldn’t have been given such a gift to squander. Regent’s magic should have been used in the war to help us beat the demons back, not as a paradise where the Eldahars could sit back and watch!” His countenance became dark and livid with fury. Then he rounded on Elian. “And you! You swore to help me! You swore that you would make them see reason! That they would help us win!”

“I said that they could help you, I didn’t say that they would! I had no control over them! And then you killed them all!” Elian retorted. She gasped as a bright shot of light pierced her chest and took on the form of a silvery chain. It tugged on her, pulling her downward.

Her eyes widened and she whispered, “No, he’s awakened!”

I was up and standing now and rushed to her. “Who? Who’s awakened?” I queried, grasping her arm tightly.

“Listen carefully, Lilith. This is far from over. With Valara gone, he can use you to rise again and walk the earthly plane, terrorizing and killing all who oppose him.” She looked at me desperately, her silver eyes burning into mine. “Swear to me you will finish what I did not and release the ties that bind.”

“What are you talking about? Who will rise again? What did you not finish, what ties? I want some straight answers!” I was nearly screaming at her now, my voice rising as Cormack faded into nothingness... his voice a soft whisper in my ear.

“Fear nothing, for fear will be your enemy.”

Elian had begun to fade as well. “Swear it! Swear..”
**************************************************

Sorry folks but that's the first half of the chapter. The second half should be up soon enough.... Hey, it was your fault for making a tie! You've made your bed, now sleep in it. While I am working on the second half, feel free to speculate and comment on this "vision" 3 of you so badly wanted. *walks out grumbling, "3! That's it! Just 3 of them.. grrrr"*

[Player of Fates]

Heh heh, my fault, I was putting of voting for a while. And when I came back to vote, it was closed. :shock:

[dinranwen]

*looks innocently at the storming Lilth* It wasn't my fault that I was one of the first to vote and thus preventing me from breaking a tie that later accured without my knowledge or consent. Now is it dear?

Now take three really deep breaths. Drink some tea. And come see me in the morning. I think I still may have a punch bag around here somewhere from my 'I swear I was once in shape' days.

[Player of Fates]

To hell with tea! Samuel Jackson! Do what tastes right! or something like that...

[The Meaning Of Fear]

Very, very good. I didn't really expect this last bit...

And to think i was originally going to scold you for killing off Valara too early! o-)

I missed the poll, too...

[Crunchyfrog]

Very good! I am intrigued as to who has awakened, maybe this awakening was triggered by Valara's death...

Looking forward to the next instalment!

:)

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[Lilith]

Z wrote: a bit of an overreaction there, wouldn't you say? But then, if he's completely nutso...

EXACTLY! Now, you understand why I am insane? It's in my genetics!

[Lilith]

Guess what everyone? The long-awaited PART 2!


Chapter 11: The Truth Revealed (Part 2)


“Wake-up, wench ” A harsh voice and a hard slap brought me back to the land of the conscious.

“Ugh... mm.. Huh?” I shook my head a little to try and clear the fog in my brain and was rewarded with a pounding headache.

“So, you are alive. Well, then. This will make things interesting.” The voice laughed... it was so familiar.

I managed to open one eye and discovered that I was covered in my own blood still and my companion was none other than the Jaden prince, Veltan. I groaned and made to move my arm over my face but found both of my upper extremities were restrained. I was chained with shackles to a wall made of grey stone; my wrists throbbed and ached, not to mention the searing pain in my back that increased with any movement.

“Well, then, Lilith. What shall I do with you? You come into my kingdom and I welcome you with open arms, even offer you a place of power by my side. Yet you step on my pride and disrespect me in front of my own people. Then I am forced to have the royal stable burnt down, yet the bones I find are not yours; they were an animal’s bones.” He paused as I gasped sharply.

Shoren....

Veltan stepped close and grasped my chin in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “I might have let you live, had Eclipse not discovered that I was drugging my father for the past 4 years to bend him to my will. Now, I have been shunned by my own people -“ I cut his speech short.

“People whom you never had respect for nor whom you even cared about! You just wanted to rule over them, that is all! And conquer Turstin, as well as the Alt Lands!” I spat.

Veltan raised a hand to strike me but thought better of it and smiled. “Indeed. You caught onto my plan quickly and told Eclipse about it, didn’t you?”

“Not I..” I chuckled harshly. “But I have an idea who did. The bones you found, they were a wolf’s bones, weren’t they? Shoren’s bones, the wolfshifter. He could see into other’s secret thoughts, and send messages from his mind to others. He saw right through you.”

Veltan was livid. He withdrew a dagger from his belt and held it against my throat, right below my jawbone, near my ear. “So he did. And where does that leave you? I come across you injured in the Stone Circle, a place that has been held sacred for centuries by my people, and you are alone. There is no one coming to save you, no one coming to pull your ass out of the fire this time. I still have some loyal followers amongst my people. They rounded up all of the cattle from the Alt Lands -“ I struggled as he threw out the insult “cattle” at people from my homeland. “ - and they will watch their leader burn at dawn.” I turned pale but gave no sign of weakness.

“Cut the head off and the body will fail.” Veltan whispered, sheathing the dagger once again. He made to walk away.

“Alright. What is it you want?” I called out .

He froze midstep and turned to look at me, a sinister smile creeping across his features. “Everyone has their price for what they hope to keep the most. Yours is your life for your city and influence in the Alt Lands.” I inhaled quickly but made no other signals that he had struck the mark.

“The people will not accept you as their leader, Veltan. They respect the blood of the land, the heritage passed down from generation to generation....” I clenched my teeth to brace myself for what I knew was coming next. What are you talking about? You have no blood relation to the land either! You have no right! The last true heir to the Alt Lands is Tobias. Quit fooling yourself!

“Of course they do. That’s why you will take me at your side back with your people and my faithful subjects and give me the power of ruler in your land through the sacrament of marriage. And in turn, I will not tell him where you are nor what your doing and you can fight your personal battle with him while I wage war on my little brother and take back what is rightfully mine ” A crazed sort of look glimmered in Veltan’s eyes as he said this.

“Him? Who do you mean by that?” I snapped.

“The delightful horseman who told me where you would be and bade me to kill you so his master would have free rein to return. The horseman said he’d kill you himself but he had something he needed to take care of. But I have not killed you as he instructed. As you can tell, I am a very reasonable man.” Veltan’s smooth, rich voice returned to normal.

Reasonable, my ass.

I laughed again, wincing as pain lanced through me once more. “You have no idea what you are getting yourself in the middle of.”

“Oh? Is that so? Maybe you are the one who doesn’t know what they have gotten themselves into?” Veltan responded, pointing across the room towards the another wall that was completely darkened for no torchlight was near there. He snapped his fingers and fire flared from the previously unlit torches, casting light over the wall. “Or do you need further convincing?”

Another set of shackles with another set of arms. I stopped breathing for a moment, seeing the unconscious body of my friend. Veltan noticed this all too well and proceeded to put his face centimeters from mine, blocking my view momentarily. “So, convinced yet?” He breathed.

No! I knew this would happen! Father, Selene, Shoren... they were all killed because of me! And now ... Tobias. Not this time! I will not lose all my friends to this.. Not while there is still breath in my body! Maybe I could bluff my way out? If I do it quickly, he’ll leave Tobias out of this, thinking that Tobias has no value.
I glared at him for a moment and then turned my head away. “I have no idea what you think this is going to get you. He means nothing to me. Kill him if you like.” I said in a voice that wasn’t my own.

“Oh really? Alright then.” Swiftly, Veltan crossed the room and drew a dagger across Tobias’s throat. He made the cut quick, clean, and painless. I shut my eyes as I heard the slice of the knife and the sound of the blood dripping made bile rise in my throat. “Yep, he’s nothing now.” Veltan’s quick denouncement of Tobias’s death made me want to rip his throat out. “Well, I suppose I could start killing the “cattle” one by one until dawn.... or you could just accept and give up.”

**************************************************
I awoke with a shuddering gasp from this second, vivid vision. Before I opened my eyes, I knew I was no longer indoors. My back screamed in pain still and I could smell a hint of metal in the air; I was still covered in my own blood. My body felt lethargic and weak; for the first time in my life, I thought that this was the end of the line. Surely, I would die from blood-loss soon or from pure exhaustion. In less than a week, I had lost the person I called father, my home, my people, and two of my closest friends. I had been on the run from a hoity-toity demoness queen who’s bark was the only deadly thing around; she hadn’t much bite to her. Led by dreams of my dead birth-mother, I had followed an ancient prophecy to get rid of the demoness. And yet, here was another dream, telling me it wasn’t over. I was beginning to get rather irritated with the whole damned thing. I wondered if I lived through whatever was next, if I just ignored this one, if my life might go back to almost normal? It seemed every bit of trouble I was in was because I had gone out looking for it.

I opened my eyes and forced my body to move towards the place I had hidden Tobias. He was still unconscious from where I had struck him, but he was breathing normally. Thank heavens He’s still alive.. that vision,... it was so real But wait, I am having visions? I need to know what the hell is going on with me. What other strange abilities do I have? What is the extent of my half-Eldahar bloodline? And my wings.. Can I get them back? I was pulled out of my whirring thoughts as Tobias coughed and opened his eyes. “Tobias,” I breathed, “you’re alright?”

He gave me a slight glare. “Yeah, considering you’re the one who knocked me out.”

I gave him my best apologetic look. “It was for your own safety.”

“And what about your safety?” He snapped, turning my chin so he could look me in the eye steadily.

“I can handle myself.” I replied, meeting his look with ferocity.

“Oh really? So that blood all over you isn’t your own?” He looked at my back now, his fingers carefully and knowledgeably tracing the wounds. “Lift up your clothing on your back, I’ve got some bandages here in the saddlebag that you hid behind me.”

I blushed slightly but knowing that Tobias had a healer’s touch, I obliged. Quickly and professionally, Tobias cleaned the wounds well and bandaged them up with a poultice that would allow me to move without much pain, taking the bandages around my ribs as they had been in my first vision. Realizing this, I gasped sharply and flinched.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” Tobias asked, concern heavy in his voice as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

“No, you didn’t. I’m fine.” I replied quickly, fiddling with the saddlebag now and finding a pair of pants and a clean shirt. “Turn around, and don’t look!” I said, clutching them to my chest.

Tobias rolled his eyes but he obliged. “Honestly, it’s not something I haven’t seen before...” he drawled, his voice hinting at a joke as I threw on the shirt and pants quickly.

If it isn’t awkward enough dressing outside in the middle of nowhere and then he’s got to make cracks about it But that was his way, always something to joke or smile about. He keeps the dark thoughts at bay. I smiled a little as I approached him and gave him a weak punch on the arm.

We both froze at the sound of hoof-beats, the familar commanding voice. “Veltan! Damn him!” I hissed.

“But it’s over, isn’t it? We can go home now, right?” Tobias replied.

I sighed. “Tobias, I am getting the feeling this is far from over.” What to do? I have to get Tobias away from here! I will not let that second vision come true!


Hehehehe.... What? You guys made the tie! Anyhoot, um, so do they split up? And they need destinations as well! You have many, many, possiblites here!

And there's a cookie for whoever can read my mind and figure out what I think one of the destinations should be!

[DELETED]

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[Lilith]

Thanks for the punctuation tip Z!

[Guest]

Lilith wrote: And there's a cookie for whoever can read my mind and figure out what I think one of the destinations should be![/col

Why do I have a weird feeling that was directed at me? You know I can't resist cookies. Damn you Lilith! I have to think on this one.

[NeverNeverGirl]

They should stick together and escape!
the sooner they do the sooner they can answer al the questions i have!... i am just tuning in so i still have a huge amount of reading to do - i did the quick and insufficeint skim of chappies and will have to get a warm drink andread them more properer!

YAY lillith! :D

[Crunchyfrog]

Hmm, definitely stick together. They can't afford to split up.

I don't know where they should go either, except perhaps to the scene of where the vision took place. Lilith may do well not to tell Tobias the details of her dream, though!

[Lilith]

Alright people, now this is a little ridiculous! Almost two weeks after a chapter that took nearly two months to complete and I still have 3 suggestions? And they all say the same thing more or less? Come now. Do you really want me to write this next chappy without reader involvement?

[dinranwen]

I have no bright ideas...sorry Lily. I have to agree with them.

Now go take our mundane suggestions and turn them into something amazing! I know you can do it...now hop to it! *smiles evily*

[Christalnightshade]

who hoo I finally read the thingy... Quote: Thank heavens He’s still alive.. that vision,... it was so real But wait, I am having visions? I need to know what the hell is going on with me. What other strange abilities do I have? What is the extent of my half-Eldahar bloodline? And my wings.. Can I get them back?

I think they should find some way out or somewhat steal the horse from the guy... hehe. take it and run with tobais at the back. You should go to safety. what would happen if you should hide tobias in a safe place and you go directly toward the stone circle. I think there should be a passage somewhere leading to a safe haven for tobais.

You can't hide, but he can. If they try and rangle the information out of you staqy quite. Or pretend to jion the evil side in order to take what rightfully belong to you. Take a few lives if you will. Sorry It would take ages for your wings to grow back. maybe if you sacrifce your self you come alive again with bigger wings and ready to face justice. hehe ok so that was just an idea which is very far fetched.

so they are still after you and tobais your father and S. S passed away. I think it should still be in the line of the prophecy woudln't it. I love helping out. come bounce ideas off sometime I need some information on the seriounding objects and places where they are currntly at. love helping you on your story. nightshade at your service. and take what ever weapons you have a bow and sword even broken perhaps. or steal from the horse rider.

there you go you can reason with that one guy or unless there is more following him. you must hurry and keep your eyes pealed. lose the others by stealing the horse and zigzag around even if you bleed. watch out you can faint and be captured if tobais knows how to ride a horse then let him take you. run over streems and rivers to get to safty I'm sure there is some place te be.

Edit then again they can't afford splitting up.... So the vision can be a fake to only to warn you of dangers, but if it is true there is no way you two can hide. the only way is to sneak into the place you had a vision about. Watch out your blood can leave a trail on the floor easy to track by deamon hounds.

I weep for lilith and tobias. I think it would be better to tell tobias about the vision you will crack if you don't tell him. he might know how to change it along with the help of you, by not plitting up. he might have another idea in his head about splitting up, but tell him and hell think deeper on what you two will do.

[Mephistopheles]

hmm, well, i am giving this morbid consideration, and i believe that our heroine has been a bit hesitant to ACT first, then question later. Seeing as how she has seen visions with enough clarity to give off a de ja vu sort of vibe, she knows that tobias will die at the hands of veltan, so, what must be done? does she know how to use a sword? simple really. kill the rider, take the horse. it matters not that he is royalty, because she knows that he is disgraced, and why would anyone suspect lilith and tobias when he is sure to have many more enemies now? This is my take on the situation:There is dust from disintegrated demons all over the place, there are eldahar wings lying on the ground, and risk of imprisonment or death. Kill, then flee. it will seem that lilith and tobias are dead, her wings testament to that fact, and veltan won't plague them any longer. where they go from there, however, is up to the weaver of this tale, as i have no clue. i would try for home, personally, because there is no place like home.
Actually, I think that i would return to the land of the eldahar, and see if there is any other information that can be gained, because lilith knows that a more powerful, (hopefully WAY more powerful) demon is about to arise. knowledge is power. go gain power.
Hope that this was helpful for you!
Hmm, another thought: does hoof beats imply more than one horse? if so, killing may become more difficult, but i believe that veltan came on his own, so as to avoid notice and keep people out of his business. they would merely believe he is fleeing if he is alone, but curious of his plottings were he with many. okay, enough response. see what you can work out of this, before i start sounding stupid.

[Carnusis]

I have an idea. have them stay together and try to flee. After all both are very weak, I don't know anyone that can walk after a good blow to the back of the head. With the blood lost from her wings being ripped off Liliths body should be almost dead weight. Now for a nice twist, make it the demon queens son. (Thanks for killing mom, by the way with the royal Demon family the power they hold when killed goes to the living heir.)

[Lilith]

Okay, you guys, you win. They won't split up, but due to lack of suggestions on locations, there will not be a Part B of voting..

Keep your eyes peeled for a new chappy...