City of IF

[Kalanna Rai]

DISCLAIMER: This story isn't politcally correct. It's not nice, or sweet, or fuzzy around the edges. The issues within are ment for older readers and by the end of the prologue you'll know if you should be reading this or not. It's gritty, it's dirty, and I'm writing about things that shouldn't happen to anyone...but they do. This is the story a man who is more than his upbringing...
Warning: Language and Violence
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Blood For Blood

Intro: Dregs of Humanity

That bitch! She's just like all the others staring down her nose at me. Why! WHY! Dammit, what the hell is wrong with me? It doesn't matter, they're just whores. Nobody misses a few whores except their pimps and their regular johns. So why the hell is this guy in my face over HER! Fine, if he's going to get all in my face over some trashy woman like that, just like all those other worthless bitches, then he doesn't deserve to live either...

That kid knows nothing. I can see it in his eyes how tough he thinks he is and I know he's killed before. Those poor women... He's such a young bastard too, but no younger than I was when I.. I wonder. Has he killed for the same reasons? No. I never killed helpless women, all I did was wipe a sadistic bastard off the face of the earth. I've paid for my crime. I've seen so many loved ones lost, so many lives ripped away from me. Now here comes this kid to take away my second chance. This kid might be a murderer...but then so am I. Come and play kiddo. Come and play...

Rain poured from the sky and lightning split the black heavens. In the strobe flashes the combatents stare each other down. The broken down housing projects watched with glassless windows like gaping eyes. They were silent witnesses to the unfolding specticle. The clay earth soaked up the rain and became mud which quickly became a mire. Puddles were everywhere reflecting the ruin and it's graffiti lined walls. All the slogans and insults. Hatred in every color of the rainbow.

Nothing moved. Nothing stirred. Two hearts thudded in vastly different rhythems. One staccatto sharp, as swift in elation as it was in fear. The other a primal drum as slow and steady as the growing thunder. Two sets of lungs drew breath. One was a quivering breath, full of anticipation as it hissed through teeth. Those teeth were bared in a sadistic smile that gleamed white in the lightning flashes. The second was soft and silent, slow breaths that didn't allow themselves to be hurried. A sigh slipped forth though the lips remained sealed an indication that the owner would rather be elsewhere doing something different.

One man was young just twenty. His shaggy hair was soaked, a dark mop on his head. His clothes was plastered to a wirey frame with muscles etched in stark relife with every lightning flash. Legs were those of a sprinter making his overall apperence that of an athlete. He was casually dressed in a T-shirt, fleece jacket, denim jeans, and tennis shoes. All top quality and all in good condition. The boy was wealthy and he knew it. It was in every line of his body, every slight movement he made.

He smiled at his foe, a smile filled with malic. His dark brown eyes peered from their shadowed sockets. A tremble ran through his body, his chin jerked upward. His face was angular but not ugly. It was fey in the stormy light. It fit his long-fingered hands and long build well.

He was injured. Blood ran from a wound on his shoulder a gash opened by the jutting wires of a broken chain-link fence. Already toxins from the rust were mixing in his blood, threatening infection. Blood oozed out steadily and it dripped from his figertips, mixed with the mud. He glanced down at it, twitched his left hand so that the droplets spattered an arc in the earth. A laugh issued forth, soft and full of malice then stopped as if cut with a knife.

His opponant was vastly different and older at thirty-two. His auburn hair was turned almost black by the rain and it hung in sodden tendrils around his face. The face was classicly handsom, a face stolen from a Greek statue. The eyes, like chips of hazel ice, shone intently. He stood ready, easy. The stance of a man who's fought long and hard and aquitted himself well.

He was much taller than the kid. His legs longer, more graceful. His shoulders were wider, arms more powerful. He was built like a man who lived in a gym. Yet the way he moved suggested he hadn't developed those muscles for show. He moved like a panther stalking it's prey, liquid and easy while remaining alert and ready for trouble.

His jeans were tattered, simply patches of other pairs and his shirt was a simple white A-Shirt. A battered jacket hung over his left shoulder and his right shoulder was turned toward the kid. A tattoo of a camoflauged Asian dragon glared from his right shoulder, a pin dangling from it's snarling jaws, live grenade in it's three taloned right hand.

He was wounded as well. His lower red leg was stained red with blood from the stars and stripes bandanna was wrapped around his right knee on down. Someone had planted a knife in that knee not too long ago but that someone who now lay dead of a broken neck. The man wasn't in the mood to be trifled with, not tonight.

Another flash of lightning strobed the area. In the distance sirens could be heard. A dog barked viciously and another answered furiously. Somewhere two junkyard dogs were about to tear each others throats out. In the center of the abandoned housing complex much the same thing was about to take place, save that these combatents could become far more savage than mere dogs would ever be. This was the courtroom.

Eyes peered through empty windows yet not one face could be seen. Many had come tonight since word had spread faster than blood in water. People who had never before been in this neighborhood stood shoulder to shoulder with the residents. Poverty and bored wealth shoulder to shoulder. This was the jury.

In the mud, the filth, the clay that would harden come morning; two men alike in their anger, apart in their cause, stood and waited. The young man spoke first. "Why the hell are you getting in my way? She something special to you? Your quick fix for a broken love-life? Or maybe just a quick fuck, is that it? What does she see in you!" He slammed a fist against his chest, ripping his jacket off and tossing it between them. "It's women like her that spread dissent and disease...and she's going to pay for turning me down."

The man dropped his jacket on the steps behind him. It lay, like a matador's cape, like the shadow of the man himself. "You don't need to take your frustrations out on everyone else. I can't help that women don't like you, I'm not particularly fond of you myself. Infact, I can't stand you. You've threatened my wife for the last time, threatened women in general for the last time. And who are you to put down hookers when you kill people." He loosened up as the thunder boomed.

The youth danced back, cocky and sure. A young colt frisking a circle as he teased his elders. "You want me old man." He jerked his finger tips toward himself. "Come get me."

The man shook his head. "Old man? I'm not that much older than you."

"Really! Fourty years is a long time to live in sin!"

"I'm only thirty-two. And I don't live in sin, a shit-hole appartment sure, but not sin. Sorry but not everyone can afford to live in beautiful homes like you. Some people have to sell everything they have, even themselves, just to keep a leaky roof over them."

The youth frowned deeply. "I don't want your excuses. I want them gone, those disease spreading bitches. They ruined my life, every one of them. They claim to give you pleasure but what do they do? Their best to bury you that's what! So why stand up for them, why not let them just die painful deaths?"

The man looked at him. "I don't know what was done to you that turned you against them, what's driven you to kill them. But I know what that's like, that pain. I've never forgotten it for a moment, just like you'll never forget it. Like you I wanted to wipe the person responsible for it off the face of the Earth. Unlike you, the person I killed deserved to die. He was putting people I loved in danger and I couldn't stand it...just like I can't stand you killing people who had nothing to do with your pain."

The youth stopped dead for a moment. Fists clenched in white fury. "You bastard...They're ALL responsible! Don't you understand! He'll never speak to me again after the scandal they caused, my life is RUINED! And you stand their preaching morals to me. You really are a piece of work."

As the youth rushed him, the man laughed. "So they tell me."

The battle began with the dull thudding of fists on flesh. Only one would survive this night but which one? The one who could move? The one who could fight? Here had the dregs of humanity gathered to judge who had the right of it, beyond any law but that of survival of the fittest. But with one already wounded, was this judge fair?
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It only get's worse. Hope you liked.

[Lilith]

How delicious, Rai! I loved it! I hope more is soon to follow! I love stories that go all the way into the harshness of RL and don't sugar-coat the situations in it. Well done, my friend, well done! (Please don't go all sugar-coaty later on!) :cool:

[Guest]

Technically, Rai, this story doesn't strike me as gritty at all, not even disturbing. Its a good read though and look forward for more.

[Chinaren]

Pretty nice Rai. Not sure about the rather overly macho dialogue at the end, but generally some nice imagery there.

:D

[Kalanna Rai]

The dialog at the end is supposed to be over the top china and Fenny...it's only the intro...a very edited intro.

Just wait till you learn more about Liam's old man....

[Phang]

Should I make some sort of extreme flashing dancing 'woohoo!' picture for this? It's well deserved.

...What the hey. I'll be back in a jiffy!

[Liana]

I like it Rai. Not all that disturbing. You have a few spellig errors but that's nothing. I F5 Lily, keep it real. Keep it descriptive too. I really like the imagery.

[Kalanna Rai]

Here's where those of you with sensabilities should start getting sick. Remember, things like this happen every day even though we'd rather not think about them. Enjoy!
Caution: Desturbing Content! Not Suitable For Some Readers!
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Chapter One: Liam Green

I hate my reflection. Most people would say I have nothing to complain about and I suppose that's true from their point of view. But then all they see is the surface a surface that there's not much wrong with at that. From my point of view? Having a pretty face never put food in my cupboards, never put a roof over my head, never got me a job. All it ever got me was pain, suffering, the nightmares, humiliation, and...

Liam swore as a bright bead of blood dripped into the sink. His hands were shaking, the only sign of his rage. A white square covered the small nick, a red heart quickly bloomed where the blood seeped through the tissue. The handsome face in the mirror smiled, reflecting the same sardonic smile worn by Liam himself. "Oh that's not obvious. Not at all..." He resumed shaving, watching the auburn stubble fall to the razor's edge. No traces of grey, not yet, no lines either. He shouldn't be expecting them, he was only thirty-two, yet...

"It's amazing. I feel old beyond my years while I look younger than I am." Finishing he splashed water on his face, put away his shaving cream, and dropped the safety razor in the trash. Edge was dulled, he needed a new one...and that meant shopping. He walked out of the bathroom with it's fading pink floral wallpaper and the tile that remained dingy no matter how he scrubbed. His hallway wasn't much better, more faded wallpaper and a few holes, roughly patched.

There wasn't a scrap of carpet anywhere since it had been stolen before Liam moved in, he walked across bare wood instead. Occasionally he picked up a splinter but not so much anymore. He'd gotten most of them by now. While he did have some throw rugs, they didn't cover much and were nothing fancy. Liam owned nothing newer than third hand floor coverings. His furnature was in much the same state though. His couch was a mess with all the vomit stains, other bodily fluid stains, knife scars and the odd shaped patches of different fabrics crudely sewen in. Homey.

He passed through the living room with kitchen as his destination of choice. If the kitchen was the heart of the home then Liam's home had a good heart. The lineolium was clean and tan, the counters in good repair, and the appliances in good condition. His ice-maker even made ice...once and a while. Opening the fridge he wrinkled his nose and took stock. Half a gallon of milk. Two mumified pieces of pizza. "Definetly time to go shopping." He grabbed a slice of pizza and bit down.

His phone beeped and, pizza dangling from mouth, he grabbed it. Flipping it open he scowled and wondered why the hell was Reggie leaving him messages? Punching his voicemail code and his passcode in he listened. The scowl deepened into a full fledged frown as he snapped the phone shut barely resisting the urge to throw it. It was his only cellphone, his only phone period. "Oh well. I had to go out anyway."
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He was in a darker mood coming home that night. His hands were jammed in his pockets shoulders hunched against the wind. His hair snapped past his face while the bleary streetlights twisted his shadow and made it savage. It was almost as savage as Liam's own eyes. He took stock of his injuries, a bruise was rising on his right cheek and he figured a couple of ribs were cracked. Plus he'd skinned his knuckles...again.

But there was one less jackass mobile and Sandy would make her rent. He paused, waiting for a cab to speed past so he could cross the street. It was then that he noticed it. The struggle between two men and a girl in a dark, lonely, alley with nobody else around. It didn't take much imagination to figure out what was going on. The wind howled and whipped an old newspaper against his legs. He shook his head "I shouldn't be playing hero now," yet he moved toward the alley.
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Her eyes were wide with fear as she felt the cold blade of the knife against her throat and smelled sour breath. She smelled her own fear too, it wasn't just a myth. "It's alright girly. Cooperate and we won't slit your throat." That came from the one behind her, the small one with the rough hands and the coat that smelled, she thought, of sardine and onion. She wondered why she cared about how his coat smelled when she was going to die.

"That's right darlin'. Just play along. Be a good girl now." This from the man standing infront of her as he reached toward her. His hand, his greasy grimy hand, moved under her skirt and between her thighs. She would have screamed except his other hand was over her mouth. And, of course, the man behind her had a knife to her neck. She squeezed her eyes shut while she also queezed her legs shut but he was insistant and he wasn't going to be denied his pleasure.

"Lou! Behind you!" Her eyes snapped open as man behind her drug her closer, turning her into a meat sheild...a hostage. The groaping hand was gone though and the man attached to it was on the ground curled into the fetal position. Standing above him was a tall man who kept letting loose one explosive kick after another, a savage look on his face, land in the man's ribs.

"You think rape's funny asshole! Try being on the reciving end some time." He stopped, breath coming in gasps as his shoulders rose up and down, heaving with every breath he took. His leg was spattered with blood and the man on the ground had a lop-sided chest. He turned to face the man that still held her pressed close, his face cold, hard, and cruel. "I'd get your buddy to a hospital. I'm fairly sure he's got a collapsed lung." He gestured to the blood on his much patched pants.

The knife pressed closer to her throat, so close she could feel the blade bite in. Then she shivered as she felt the blood well onto the blade, pause as a trembling bead for an instant, then roll down her throat. She closed her eyes again remembering her mother's tearful begging. 'Don't leave...Don't go west. Stay here where you've got family and friends. Where nothing bad happens.' A tear leaked out of her eye.

Then, with a jolt, she suddenly found she was flying. The man behind her had thrown her at the other man in a desperate ploy for freedom. She rebounded off of the tall man and was shoved aside as he persued the knife-weilder. Unable to catch her balance she fell and her head connected hard with the pavement. She found vision fading, the last thing her fading self percived was the bloody knife filling her vision at the last as it clattered to the pavement.
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She woke on a couch she didn't recognize in a room she didn't know covered by an ancient afgahn her mother didn't knit. She sat up quickly...and scrabbled for the afghan as footsteps sounded. She realized all she was wearing was a t-shirt that was several sizes too large. When a shadow fell over her and she looked up.

It was the man from the alley, the tall man. Her eyes grew wide as she took in the assortment of scars visible on his arms and shoulders. She winced as she saw a set of fresh stiches closing a gash on his left shoulder. He must have gotten the gash helping her. There dragon tattoo on his right shoulder, an intricate piece of work. He studied her for a moment, his expression inscrutable, then he knelt, bringing himself down to her level. "I made dinner. Would you like some?"

As he held a battered cup forward she realized she was starving. She took it in both hands, feeling it's warmth, and a deep sniff told her it was soup of some kind. It smelled like chowder, thick and creamy, ready to sooth her hunger pains. She took a sip and burnt her tounge. "Ow."

"Careful. It's hot." That from the tall man who, chuckling, vanished back into what must be the kitchen, leaving her and her soup alone. She looked around at the room she was in. No electronics, no windows...just a door with only a simple chain lock. Obviously the man didn't worry about security, hell she could just walk out...she realized that was a bad idea. After all, she wasn't going to get far in just an oversized t-shirt.

As the man came back in with another mug she trusted her voice. "Where are my clothes?"

"Down the hall, last door on the left. What's left of them is hanging in the closet in the spare room." She almost choked on her chowder at his answer.

"What do you mean what's left of them?" He blew on his own mug. Took one swollow then took another before lowering the mug again and speaking.

"You landed in a puddle of blood and vomit. Your coat's shot, top of the skirt is bloodstained, as is one shoulder of your shirt. I couldn't find one of your shoes, sorry, I was in a bit of a hurry." He took another swollow.

"So who are you? Or do you rescue girls in alleys all the time?" He looked at her as if slightly annoyed or slightly angery. What was she supposed to think? That he was Superman. That he did shit like this because he felt like it? When he gave his answer it was overly macho and overly sarcastic as if to make her think he was joking...

"No. Just once a week or so. Usually it's coming between some drunk and the waitress or some poor woman and a husband who thinks she's a punching bag. I'm Liam Green ally of abused women everywhere." Like she said, macho and saracstic...so why didn't she think he was joking? They sat eating in silence.

"I'm Cassandra Voight." He nodded to show he understood. Acknowledging and accepting it as the due course of some plan, some route these encounters must take for him. Somehow she didn't expect more, he didn't seem like one for conversation. He glanced at her cup and took it.

"Refill?"

"Please." She was almost ashamed to ask for more but she hadn't eaten anything since...she didn't know...a day before...before the alley. So at least that and however long she'd been here...on his couch...at his mercy. A sudden fear struck her. He'd changed her clothes and bathed her too. All while she'd been out? What else had he done?

He must have caught something on her face as he came back in, a shadow of horror or some twist of her hands. Maybe even some flicker of her gaze because his words were hard, as if he was wounded by her honest suspicion. "It wasn't me."

"What?"

"I didn't change your clothes or give you the bath. I asked a friend to do it, an older lady I know. She knows the drill. I bring a them to her and she cleans them up. Then I wrap them in a blanket and bring them to my couch where they stay until they wake up.Then I feed them and I get them back where they belong." He held out the mug to her again and cocked his head to the side.

She took the mug and mused over it. Somewhere a door slammed. Her heart slammed and her hands trembled, nearly spilling her soup. Why couldn't she believe it? Believe that a total stranger would save her, get her back on her feet, and ask absolutely nothing for it. It wouldn't have been hard a few months ago before she came west and stopped being a small town girl.
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Slience stretched as vastness unbroken with o clock to tick. No alarms to chime away the hours. There was only the slurp of two people eating soup. Finally she asked it, the question he knew had been on her mind since waking. "What do you want from me?"

Her question didn't catch him by surprise afterall he'd heard it from others before. Some offered while others wondered and most were afraid. There were a few were more than ready to do anything. He couldn't understand why they couldn't believe he didn't want anything save them off the streets and out of danger. All he wanted was them at home protecting children because children needed their mothers, who else could defend them? Children alone couldn't fight back,couldn't escape, couldn't stop it from happening..."I just want to get you back to where you belong Cassandra."

She laughed, a very bitter sound. She was too young to be bitter in his eyes. She wasn't a city girl, it was easy to tell for him. She couldn't have been turned bitter so quickly. He knew why she'd come just like so many others with skin like that. With long silky hair and flawless white teeth in a dazzling smile. So many others with flawless faces yet they learned, as he had learned, the value of a pretty face. Now so had she and she'd very nearly learned one of many hard ways. "Where do you belong Cassandra?"

"Home. But I can't go back...not when I made everyone so mad. I can't go back until I've achived something...done something to make them proud. Don't you understand?" Oh yes, he understood too well. Her lip trembled and her slight form shook. "And now I've got to pay you back too." She was almost crying. He could sense it. like some could sense rain coming or an impending storm about to break.

This one wouldn't let things go easily. Yet she had no money and no home. When he'd gone to the adress listed on her I.D. an angery landlord had nearly driven him off. And he certainly didn't want her so how could her offer her a deal, a way to pay him back, that didn't involve money or sex?
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Well? What compromise or arrangement might they work out?
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This isn't gritty yet...not in the true sense of the story. But you'll see soon enough. You'll see. I hope you liked.

[Chinaren]

I'm quite enjoying this one so far Rai. It even has slightly less than your usual number of typos. ;)

Well, no money or sex eh? That narrows it down a bit. Of course, we don't know what she is good at, if anything.

We also don't know a great deal about him, which limits things a little. Still. How about being his assistant?

Erm. That's it, I'm out.

[Guest]

Well Rai truthfully I can't say anthing. It is not that grafic. It is well... very well thought out with the italics at the top of the page, it can't go wrong.

I want to see more murderes, but I'm sure It'll turn worse... *evil cackle* It is very well done. I like it very much Rai.... :D :D :D :D

[Lilith]

One part of the fact that this happens everyday is untrue.... usually there isn't any dark stranger around to rescue the victims, Rai. Just thought I'd clarify that. Anyhoot, I f5 China on the assistant thing..

[D-Lotus]

Well, Kalanna, I'm sure you know what I think by now. Your style is shit, but the idea is excellent. And inside the overly drastic, exaggerated melancholy, there are some good sentences that excite the imagination.

I think I'm loving Liam already, and I think I'm going to hate the other kid.

DP is kinda bad, however, as we don't know what the hell Liam does other than save rape victims. Maybe she could be stationed somewhere, and help him out as a watch, or a spy?

[Kalanna Rai]

Right, I'll work on the style and lighten the mood at times.

And I promise next chapter to provide a little more background on Liam.

[Fats_Masterson]

A good read so far but a little confusing at times. I understand the appeal of the dramatic stranger, I use it myself, but used at length it becomes confusing for us as readers to organize who is who.

Obviously, it's Liam's role to help Cassandra become something to make the folks back home proud. He just doesn't know it yet. I agree with D-Lotus, we don't really know enough about either character to make this kind of decision.

But just to make an interesting and far-out situation:

Cassandra isn't in the city to become a pretty face. She is a very smart and capable scientist. She came to the city to pioneer and develop a new technology. However, funding was cut off in favor of greater weapons research, and she got fired. She was in that alley the other night because she was on the way to a less-than-legitimate who offered to buy her technology.

So now, she offers to help liam with the tech she developed and the mob paid for. A dreamwalking device.

Just an idea. :D

Fats

[D-Lotus]

Nice thinking! Oh, and welcome to the city, Fats.

[Mephistopheles]

Nice story, and really, truly, i mean nice as in i see no need for the graphic disclaimer. But it has a flow, especially the beginning chapter, that makes it very desirable to read on. That, and i am waiting for the violence and gore.
Perhaps she could be his assistant, or maybe he could let her do a load of laundry and then call it even? What connections does Liam have that could perhaps benefit the girl? He speaks of knowing what it is like to have a pretty face, maybe he knows someone that could do a photo shoot and then send her back home?
Overall though, i am really interested to see where this goes, and i truly like your descriptive style.

[Guest]

I actually looked at this a while back, but am now finally getting around to commenting. I, too, think the disclaimer has not really been needed so far, but always nice to prepare. Overall, I like it. Not really many errors, just the usual misspellings that appear in every SG. Nice imagery too. I hope to see more soon.

[Kalanna Rai]

WOW! Another poll...

[Kalanna Rai]

Looking for a tie-breaker...

[Kalanna Rai]

Well I shut poll down and decided to make an exec decision(and I really hate those). I also changed the writing style back to my usual one, watch for me to edit the other two soon. Enjoy!

P.S. I've nixed the disclaimer for now, I'll put it back when it's needed.
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Chapter Two: Assistance Aquired

Cassandra's such a puzzle sometimes. Just when I think I've got her figured out, she throws something new at me and I'm back to square one. She want's to accomplish so much without compromising herself and I admire that. But in this town you either bend, break, or warp under the pressure. I feel guilty for putting her in harm's way but this really is what she wants to do so I've got to help her...I said I would and I always keep my word. Always...

"What are you brooding about now Liam?" She said it with good natured humor but there was a tinge of worry under it. He shook his head, forced on a smile, and picked up his cup of black coffee that tasted like tar. Three months now and she still couldn't make him a decent cup of joe to save her soul.

"Nothing." He didn't even glance up as she slid into the creaky chair across the table from him. That was another change, a dining room table. Liam could count on one hand the number of times he'd actually sat down to eat before he'd taken Cassandra on as an 'assistant' three months ago. Now he got scolded if he didn't. It was kind of funny actually if you thought about it. She took her job so seriously and really tried to do her best despite the conditions.

It hadn't been easy, hell no. Cassandra had been shocked the first time Liam had brought someone home. It hadn't helped that the girl had been cut up pretty badly and was bleeding all over him. Cassandra had been almost useless, Liam had had to tell her to strip the girl's clothing and get her washed up. After that near fiasco he'd sent her to Sophia, the lady who'd been doing it for him, to have her show Cassandra the ropes.

After that things had gone a little smoother although, to be fair, things had been slow lately and he hadn't been bringing girls home nearly as often. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the cracks in the ceiling.

"I know you're brooding over something Liam. Tell me. Come on..." He rolled his eyes. If he didn't tell her she'd nag him and he really hated being nagged. He looked at her through his hair and chuckled a little bit.

"You're like the little sister I never had ya know? Nobody else gets to annoy me this much and live." She chuckled and he grinned again. She made him smile a lot, he liked that.
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She watched him, knowing there was something he wasn't telling her, something that was bugging him. She bit her lip then gave him that 'you better tell me mister' face but all he did was finish his grapefruit and coffee and walk over to the sink to wash his dishes. "Fine, be that way. See if I care..."

"But you do." He said it with a chuckle as he put the dishes away and walked back past her. "You've got to know everything Cassandra otherwise how will you make your predictions."

"Oh ha ha ha...you're so damn funny Liam. How many times have I told you not to make fun of my name Mr. 'Green Dragon'." She gave an exasperated snort as he flexed the namesake tattoo before slipping on that jacket of his. How he got the bloodstains out she'd never know but it never did look worse for the ware. Of course there wasn't much of a way to make that jacket look worse. "And where are you going?"

"Work." He raised an eyebrow at her as if to say 'duh'. She could have kicked herself for not remembering but without her organizer she was hopeless. And besides, she'd gotten a call back today at that Ad magazine. She had more important things to worry about than what time it was.

"Well take care of yourself. Try not to bring home any lost puppies, stray kittens, or broke hookers you find."

"I won't I promise...at least to the first two..."

"Liam..." But he was already out the door. For a moment she indulged in a bit of a snit before nearly falling off her chair laughing. "Who else tells their room mate that line?" She looked around the shabby little appartment she shared with Laim and shook her head. Three months ago being that comfortable with him would have been impossible.

She'd been pretty stunned when he offered to let her pay him back by helping him out around his house and with other girls he brought home. He hadn't been kidding about how often he brought them home either, that first month had been a nightmare and that first poor girl. She shuddered, chilled despite her warm creme sweater.

But she'd gotten used to it, and it didn't happen all that often any more. More common was someone showing up at their, his door hysterical and demaning help or calling his phone in terror. Then he'd grab his jacket and be gone for anywhere from ten minutes to two hours. He'd come back with bruises and skinned knuckles, sometimes there'd be some blood on him.

She took care of the little things, Sophia had shown her how to clean cuts and stitch them up nice and neat. But Liam still wouldn't let her do more than put alcohol on scrapes. For all the rapport they'd built up she still knew less about him than she was comfortable with. And those scars...

She'd never seen him without one of his A-shirts on but there were enough scars on his arms and upper chest for her to make an educated guess that at least some of them continued under his clothing. Including that nasty one on his chest...she shuddered. Maybe it was better not to know. Liam was a nice guy, genuinely nice. A knight in shining armor for women everywhere, no matter their color, age, or creed.

Still it bugged her that she knew zip about his past. He had to have had a family right? Or was he adopted? Maybe he was an orphan and had been raised by the system? That might explain the scars and such but what if she was wrong. She couldn't just ask him, that would be insane. She'd tried any number of times to coax it out of him in conversations. She'd told him all about her family and her town. She'd told him about all the family gatherings and holidays, school plays and PTA meetings. She'd even told him the embarassing Lady Godiva story.

But there were only two people, besides herself, that Liam actually kept contact with. One was Father Gabriel, the pastor at Our Lady Of Mercy. The other was a man named Wires who seemed shady at best. Wires seemed to be Liam's gopher, always showing up with something Liam had asked for, usually asked for when Cassandra wasn't around. Father Gabe was more to her liking. He acted more like a friend than a lacky and was warm and caring.

One of them had to know something right? But which one should she approach? And, worse, would they tell Liam she was snooping because she wasn't snooping. She was concerned and wondered if there was something she could help him with. For a few moments she paced around the living room before becoming resolute.

She'd go ask...
--------------------------

Who's she going to ask and how will they react?
-----------------------------

Hope you liked.

[Mephistopheles]

I like where you have taken this. It is good. Sorry about harassing you for the disclaimer. I think that she should approach the priest, who will tell her nothing that she hasn't already surmised. Then he will tell liam, and liam will tell cassandra that she gets to ask one question, and that is it.

[Kalanna Rai]

I've edited the first two chapters for flow and there have been some content changes in the Prologue...THESE CHANGES EFFECT THE PLOT! It just seemed better to me this way...so enjoy!

[Kalanna Rai]

Curse this lack of readership. I suppose I could shorten this SG as well but I'd rather not. I had a decent story all planned out...but I can skip along and cut things out.

I still need more suggestions though...Anyone else out there...anyone at all? Otherwise I'll have to write the chapter from the suggested option...

[Kalanna Rai]

Right, since no other replies came in I'm writing from Meph's suggestion...although I've decided not to take the story in it's original direction. Sorry for all of you who were waiting around for the 'grit'...still Enjoy!
Caution: Language and Content Reader Discretion Advised
------------------------

Chapter Three: Shattered Life

Why did Pandora open her box...Curiosity right? What happened when that box was opened...nothing good. Well I consider my past a Pandora's Box of epic preportions. There are a couple of people who know what's in it, but they're few and far between for a reason. I don't like to bring up the past, it really hurts. I've tried to make this woman trust me, dammit it's not like I give her reason to suspect me. And what does she do but bring all of that to the surface. Thanks Cassi...the wounds had just started scabbing over from the last time...

He sat on the couch, arms running along the back, face toward the ceiling. His night wasn't going well so far. He'd gotten to work only to have his boss tell him to go home. The store'd been robbed about ten minutes before he'd arrived and the clerk he had been about to relieve wasn't going to see another sunrise.

So he'd shrugged and made a mental note to start looking through the want ad's again. Going unemployed was all well and fine when it was only himself to look after but it wasn't just him anymore. He'd been wondering if that new club over on 81st needed a bouncer when his phone had gone off. Checking the caller I.D. he'd been slightly puzzled...it wasn't like Gabe to make personal calls.

What Gabe had told him though had brought his temper to the surface. Cassandra was prying. He was thankful that she'd gone to Gabe though, Wires wouldn't have thought twice about telling her everything he knew about Liam...for a price.

He'd made good time getting back to the appartment, she wasn't even back yet. That was good, it had given him time to cool his anger. The more he thought about it the more he realized he should have seen it coming...all those times she'd told him about her family and friends and life before she'd moved west. It had made him a little nostalgic and even more bitter. Good for her, she'd had a wonderful childhood, been raised by loving parents.

Why couldn't he have had that...or if not him at least Alex deserved better than what he got. She didn't get it. People loved to talk about the good moments, and he'd shared a few funny experiances with her...the few he had. But it wasn't like he was going to tell her the whole sordid tale of his life...not when she still nearly puked at the sight of blood.

The door slammed and he picked his head up, turning to look at Cassandra as she came though the door. She had two plastic shopping bags, and the door keys, in her hands. It must have started raining pretty hard outside since she was absolutely drenched, her long brown hair sticking to her slightly tanned skin. She caught sight of him and dropped the bags.

"L..Liam. What are you doing home?" He got off the couch almost negligently, stretching in an expansive manner that made his spine pop. Taking the food from her he walked into the kitchen and began to put it away. Would she come out and tell him? Let's see how far he could trust her...
-----------------------

Her heart was thudding like that of a gazelle who's scented a lion. Yet he hadn't said a word, just taken the shopping to put it away. Yet that look he'd given her when she first walked in, had the Priest called him? Just remembering the Priest made her angery...and yet very sad.

Gabe had been warm and welcoming and they'd hit it off pretty well until she'd broached the subject of Liam's past. He'd been more than willing to talk about Liam before that but once she'd asked that magic question of 'So where's his family'...he'd clammed up. Nothing else she'd said had restored the mood and finally she'd gotten up to go telling him she had shopping to do.

She could still hear Gabe's words in her ears. "Please senora, come back again...when you have better things to converse about."

Now as she hung her coat up she figured that it would be better to try out and outright asking Liam. Who knows, maybe that's all she ever really needed to do in the first place. Walking into the kitchen, the sense of trepidation growing in her bones by the moment, she found Liam studying an apple. "Is it bruised?"

He glanced up, eyes hard. "No...no..." His tone softened and he put the apple into the fridge with everything else. She took a deep breath and got ready to run like hell. Something about Gabe's demenor had told her Liam's past was almost as taboo to talk about as Satan's time in heaven.

"I went to see Father Gabriel today...and I asked about you..."

"I know. He called." She watched him shut the door and lean against it, shaking his head. "I guess I wasn't clear enough in my hint dropping. I don't like to talk about my past..."

"But you told Gabe!" That was out before she could censor it and she watched tension radiate through his entire frame.

"Actually I didn't. Gabe was once a good friend of my little brother, Alex. That's how he knows my past. If it were up to me, nobody would know. Unfortunately, I'm not God...I can't choose what people remember and write down, or what they tell other people."

"Wait...write down?" He shrugged.

"Yes write down. I'm sure it's all on copypaper in a vault somewhere. Hopefully gathering dust." He started to move past her into the living room and she grabbed hold of his arm. She realized just how stupid a gesture that was an instant later as he froze and looked at her. Suddenly her grip seemed mighty fragile on that scarred arm. "Let go."

"Why? What have you got to hide Liam." She tried for a smile and managed to chuckle weakly. "Did you kill somebody." Silence, heavy silence. A smothering curtain that was so empty of sound it seemed to absorbe those that floated through the walls. She pulled her hand back and took a step back rapidly. "You did didn't you..."

"My childhood was hell, my teenaged years filled with what could only be described as torture, my young adulthood marked by my near death and a lengthy trial for doing the world a service, and then I watched everyone I cared about in this world die before I hit twenty-six. Why the hell would I want any of that remembered?" His arms were folded across his chest and his hair was across his eyes but Cassandra could tell he was staring through her. He must hate her now...

She could feel tears filling her eyes as pain and rage lined every contoure and plane of his body. All those scars..."I'm sorry Liam...I didn't know..." It was a lame and weak excuse to her ears in a voice pathetically timid. For a moment they stood there like that until he finally turned and walked away from her. For a moment Cassandra just stood there, her brain screaming at her to do something, anything.

Maybe it was nerves or maybe something in his voice did it but she ran out of the kitchen, through the livingroom, down the hall, and into her room. Slamming the door she walked over to her bed and sat down. "Oh I've made a mess of it now havn't I?"
-----------------------

In his own room Liam got ready for bed. Settling down on his mattress, hands folded behind his head, he tried to will himself instantly to sleep. He knew he'd failed when the laughter started to echoing out of the darkness around him. He tried to remember what he'd learned in those court appointed therapy sessions, that it was all in his head.

"Oh I'm not in your head Liam boy. I swore I'd haunt you forever."

"Don't make me get Gabe to exorcise your ass." He knew that his dad really was in his head, that it wasn't a vengeful spirit from beyond the grave. But that didn't change the fact it was still happening. Schizophrenic? Probably...but he could deal with it.

"See...can't even face me like a man. You can't take charge like a man. You can't even..."

"Shut up...it really is a pity I can only kill you once. Was I man enough for you then?" For a moment the noises shut off and that moment was all he needed to drift off to sleep...

He was kneeling over the body, fist rising and falling in a mechanical motion. His knuckles were thudding against the linoleum but he didn't care, he wanted to make sure the bastard never got up again. Blood had spattered the front of his shirt, his arms, his face....His hair was scarlet and starting to stiffen, he could taste blood every time he licked his lips, salty and metallic.

His side hurt where some of the pellets of shot had hit him and he knew he was bleeding...but it couldn't have been that bad. He'd never have survived the full force of the blast...it had to be just a grazing shot. He could dimly hear Alex saying something...then there were hands on his shoulders. They were trying to pull him off...

He surged off the bed, one hand wrapped around the throat of the person behind him, other fist drawn back and poised to deal damage. Then his head cleared and he shrugged off the last vestiges of the dream...and realized he had Cassandra by the throat...
-----------------------------

No DP on this chappy, just food for thought...Next chappy up soon.

[Mephistopheles]

Cool chappy. now at least we know a little of liams' past. i hope you get more input on the next chapter. Well, good luck!

[Lilith]

Awww.... and I expect that she just came in to check on him and maybe apologize. Well, fate seems to like making messes of people's lives.

[Kalanna Rai]

This chappy was once more than it now is...now it's just edited. Still...Enjoy!
Caution: Content Not Suitable for All Ages
----------------------

Chapter Four: Regretfully Unregrettable

I'm not the best choice of partner in bed. It's not that I don't have staying power, or that I'm undersized in any way. There's just something wrong with me and women can generally sense that. That's generally why I choose not to go the full distance. Oh I'm no virgin, I don't think anyone can make that assumption about me. But I'm not Cassanova either. I try and keep my distance, taking a little every now and then...but never really 'going there'. I just don't feel comfortable hopping into bed with whoever is trying to be my flavor of the week. Thanks ladies but no thanks...I'm really doing you a favor...

He let go of her instantly and she fell flat on the bed with a squeak, hands flying to her throat. "Oh damn! Sorry Cassi, really I am!" She just stared at him for a moment.

Then, maybe because of the look on his face, she burst out laughing. Her laughing had him laughing, both of them laughing hysterically. She wiped a tear out of her eye and snickered. "Oh god but you scared the crap outta me! I mean you're like Uncle Joe, did I tell you about the time he hurled Tommy across the room?"

He shook his head and she launched into a tale about her Vietnam Vet uncle and why they don't try to get him off the couch any more. They were laughing again before she was done. Funny how almost crushing someone's windpipe can bring people together. With that thought he sobered up. "Lemme look at your neck, make sure you're okay."

He leaned over her, long fingers gently turning her chin so that her throat was exposed to the blue neon light that filtered through his window. She sighed. "I'm fine, really. You just scared me. You've got some intense reflexes Liam. Of course, with scars like you've got I don't blame you." Liam always slept without a shirt on, he got too hot otherwise except in northern climes in the winter months. Now he froze as Cassandra traced The Scar. The Scar, as he called it, was the only wound that ever came close to killing him.

It ran from the hollow of his throat to his groin, about a fingertip wide. It was a painful reminder of just how much his father had hated him...what lengths the man had been willing to go to to prevent Liam from having a life he could enjoy. Only one other person had ever traced that scar...he shuddered, taking an involuntary breath.

Under his fingers, Cassandra twitched. "I'm sorry, did that hurt?" He shook his head, hand frozen near her neck.

"No it was just...unexpected." He looked at her and, before he knew it, he was going in for the kiss. Just one, a soft, chaste, kiss...that turned into something else entirely...
---------------------------------

He didn't realize he'd passed the point of no return until it was too late. By that time he was arching backwards, his face toward the ceiling, in as deep as he could go. Her fingernails had raked red-hot trails down his back that would hurt like a bitch in the morning but felt so good right now. Hot and sleek, she surrounded him and gave him no respite until he let go. Wisely he clamped down on his shout of pleasure, knowing instinctivly that the name he was going to cry out didn't match that of the beautful woman under him.

And that was love-making rule number one wasn't it? Don't cry out the wrong name in the middle of the deed. Or maybe it was...nevermind it didn't matter. All that mattered was here, now...Cassandra....
---------------------------

She cozied up to him, too exhausted to move. She could still smell his vanilla shampoo in his sweat-damp hair. That had been the most exciting moment of her life, bar none. Music was floating in from next door, coming straight through the walls. She knew, simply by the volume, that nobody could have heard what just happened over it. Of course she was also grateful for it...Journey, a song for lovers.

She giggled a little bit, drawing a lazy inquiry from Liam. "Oh nothing...nothing at all." She nuzzled closer to him, pillowing her head on his chest. She'd never done anything like this before, with anyone...

Instantly guilt wiggled it's way into her mind. Wasn't this the reason she'd dumped Roy? Because he'd wanted to share exactly this with her? And what had she ended up telling him...that she never wanted to see him again. Still, she'd had valid reasons, she really had been saving herself for...oh god. Had been, wasn't any longer.

She glanced up at Liam's profile, the neon blue light from a distant billboard turning it into the ridge of a foreign world. The guilt vanished as remembered sensations flooded back. That man was all buisness in bed...nothing easy or carefree about him. He was quiet...well she supposed he was quiet. He certainly had been compared to all the noise she'd made. And he knew how to take the fight out of a girl from the get go.

Still gazing at his face, she finally succombed to sleep...
----------------------------------

So how's the next morning? Are there regrets? Fights? Or is it all kisses and the 'I got laid breakfast'? You tell me?
--------------------------------

Well this was off my beaten path...

[Player of Fates]

Hmmmm, regrets. Regrets for Liam becuase this could mean that he let down his guard or something and regrets for Cassandra since she lost her virginity unintenionally. Plus, what good is the story with a happy sub ending?

Bitch slapping all around!

[Mephistopheles]

Hmm, difficult. Nicely written though. Part of me wants to agree with Player. Was she saving herself for someone she loved, or marriage? i think it was love, and I think she loves Liam. No regrets from Cassandra, but Liam, well, he has something more to worry him at night now. What will she expect from him? Does she want more, will she expect a commitment, or worse, think that Liam owes her a telling of his past? I think Cassandra should have that "I just experienced the best thing in my life!" outlook and be giddy, whereas Liam gets the "oh god, what have i done?" outlook.

[Lilith]

Quote: Under his fingers, Cassandra twitched.

I think you mean..

Quote: Under her fingers, Liam twitched.

I mean, she is tracing his scar, right?

And as for the DP...

They will both wake-up and pretend nothing happened. After all, they are running a "business" and can't afford to get caught up with, well, each other.

[Kalanna Rai]

Actually no...that's how Cassandra responds to Liam's sharp intake of breath. He's got his fingers on her neck at that moment to see if he's hurt her in some way...

[Kalanna Rai]

Poll's up...vote wisely...

[Player of Fates]

Oh the irony! I picked the wrong option! I wanted the first one! Sonuvabitch!

[Kalanna Rai]

Well Plates, since I'm honor-bound to keep your vote as you intended it to be placed, not as it was, that creates a three way tie...and that makes an interesting chappy. Enjoy!
Caution: Not Suitable for All Ages
-------------------------

Chapter Five pt 1: Cassandra's Delimma

Have you ever had something perfect? Ever watched it shatter into a million, tiny pieces before you got more than a taste of what could have been? That's my life in a nutshell, the good things never last. Just once I wish I could touch something and not fuck it up...

She sat there, hands trembling, as she read the small window on the test. Once more she glanced from box to test, praying that the little X would change to an O. Praying that the test would suddenly say negative instead of positive. But it didn't change...

Cassandra was most definetly pregnant. There was no misreading this one, no fuzzy interperatations. It was her third test, the third positive response. Her hands began to shake even harder as she fumbled to get the test back in the box, then buried the box in the bottom of the bathroom garbage can. Suddenly, she was ill. Whether that was just another attack of morning sickness or ill from the conformation she couldn't tell.

Her head in the toilet bowl, whisps of brown hair drifting down out of her messy bun, she'd just finished heaving up the glass of juice she'd had for breakfast when there was a knock on the door. "Cassi, you sure you're alright?" Before she could reply the door opened and Liam leaned against the frame, arms crossed, eyes worried. "Maybe you should go see Gabe. Food poisoning's not something you mess around with."

Cassandra felt guilty about lying to Liam...but only slightly. Underneith that guilt lay fear, no...more than fear...complete and utter trepidation. It was far better for Liam to think she had the stomach flu or food poisoning than to tell him the truth. However, he did have a good idea. She should go see Gabe, maybe those stupid tests were wrong afterall...Gabe would know. And here Liam was providing a ready-made excuse for her to go see him.

"Maybe you're right Liam." With that she hugged the bowl again, dry heaving up nothing but bitter bile. Liam had the courtesy to get out of the door way, pulling it closed behind him. "Right, I'm definetly going."

"Okay, I'll get your coat." For a moment, Cassi panicked. Liam couldn't go with her! But rather than panic, she used her brain. Walking out into the living room and slipping on the jacket Liam was polietly holding out she looked up at him nervously. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd do the shopping today? I know I've been putting it off but I've made the list and..."

"Are you sure...at least let me walk you there." Knowing she wasn't going to get a better offer than that Cassandra smiled.

"Sure. In this neighborhood I'd be crazy to turn you down. Especially now..." She shuddered. Three prostitues had been murdered in the past month and a half. It wasn't safe for a woman alone on the streets right now. Liam shook his head, eyes dark. Cassandra knew that if he ever ran into the bastard responsible blood would fly. No man who beat women to death found any mercy in the man named Liam Green.
-------------------

She smiled and waved to Laim from the church steps. "You sure you've got the list?" He held it up above his head, his laughter carrying back to where she stood. "And don't forget the eggs!" He waved at her again and, confidant he wasn't going to turn around and walk back in suddenly, Cassandra went in.

"Gabe...Gabe...Gabriel. Where are you?"

"Here Cassi." She whirled around as the latin priest walked out from a small door near the confessional. "What can I do for you?" His smile was warm and friendly. Of all the people she'd met in her time living with Liam, Gabe was proably the person she loved second-best.

He must have seen something on her face because his brows creased and he led her into the kitchen. It was in this brilliantly sunny room with it's scarred old table that she'd had many a conversation with Gabe, sometimes Liam was even present. Quite a friendship had sprung up between Cassi and the priest with the quick smile.

Sitting down at the table Cassi realized that she knew far more about Gabriel than she did Liam. Gabe was very open about his past, save where it came to Alex and Liam. All she could get was the Alex was Liam's little brother, he and Gabe had gone to Med school together, and that they'd been close friends. They'd been together, best friends, until Gabe's fifth year. After that Gabe was solo and Cassandra figured that must have been the year Alex died.

Gabe went on to finish school and was in his last year of residencey when the Priesthood called. A family member had gotten shot and, despite all Gabe and his collegues could do, was near death. A devout man, Gabe prayed to God that if HE would spare Gabe's relative's life, Gabe would become a priest. And the relative had lived and Gabe had become a priest.

For a while Gabe had lost track of Liam before picking up contact again through a troubled young woman Liam had helped get back on her feet. Learning Liam lived nearby, Gabe persued the matter for reasons he would not name. Liam accepted him because he'd been very close to Alex. Obviously close enough for Alex to confide in Gabe what Liam refused to tell anyone...even Cassandra.

That had been quite the fight...the morning after. She'd kicked it off, the argument, and she admitted it. She'd woken next to Liam and, still half asleep, flung herself out of his bed with a small squeek. He'd been amused for a second or two, then ego or something must have kicked in because he got tempermental on her. Or, well, wouldn't anyone be hurt after a response like Cassi gave him?

She'd felt lower than a dog when they'd started to hurl insults. She'd accused him of sleeping with everything that moved...only to find out she was his first lay in eight, yes eight, years! He hadn't gotten any action since she was a Junior in High School! And, for some odd reason, she believed him. Especially when he'd gone into detail, anger making him break his vaunted code of silence. Cassi was more than willing to swear that Liam's middle name was willpower...so many stolen kisses...never going any further than third base...damn.

Needless to say she'd been pretty ashamed of herself and, while he went to take a shower, thought about the previous night quite a bit. It hadn't been that bad...quite the opposite. She found her head all clouded up when she thought about it, a smile she didn't realize was there always stole across her face. She'd realized then that Liam was the man she'd been saving herself for, marriage or no.

With suddenly firm resolve she'd walked into that bathroom and gotten into the shower with him. The only plan in her mind had been to kiss and make up. Well they'd done more than kissed, and they'd definetly made-up before they got out of that shower. All Liam's remarks he'd made a huge mistake in taking her to bed aside, he'd certainly been willing to make the mistake again. With a little persuasion and lots of hot water...

However, once out of the shower, they'd had a serious talk and Liam had pointed out several concerns. He was a man who made enemies, had enemies, far more than he had friends. Cassi had already come under heat just for living with him and if it hadn't been for his reputation, people would have assumed they were sleeping together long before now. For both their sakes, hers more than his, they had to drop it...right here...right now.

It had hurt, not being able to tell him she loved him, trying to act as though those two moments in time had never existed. She tried though. And when he wasn't looking she'd remember and...

"Cassi, mi stella, what is wrong?" Gabe's worried voice and his gently taking one of her hands in his brought her back to the present.

"Well I havn't been feeling well Gabe and I was wondering what your professional opinion was." He smiled at her, and patted her hand before speaking.

"Tell me all about it." And she did, symptoms and times, aches and pains, carefully leaving out all mention of pregnancy, tests, and a missed period. He frowned thoughtfully when she was done, twitching his slim moustach, as was his habit. Finally he looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. "Cassi...are you late?"

She burst into tears, her last hope gone. Instantly he was holding her shoulders as she cried into her hands, patting and speaking in a soothing mix of english and spanish. "It's alright Cassi. You should be happy! A child is a wonderful thing, a blessing on it's parents."

"You don't understand Gabe...it's Liam's..." The soothing words and tender patting stopped as Gabe stood still in shock, face pale under his latin tan.

Walking across to the cupboards he opened one and reached inside before pulling out a bottle of wine. "God forgive me this sin." Pouring himself a glassful he drank about half in one gulp before topping it back off, putting the bottle back, and walking back to the table. He sat down and stared at Cassi until she had her tears under control.

She looked at him as his fingers played with the rim of the glass. "I didn't know you and he were..."

"We're not. It was just once...twice. I kinda didn't leave him much of a choice the second time. It was either love me or hurt me and Liam..."

"Liam could not hurt a woman if his life depended on it, I know...." He sighed, muttering prayers to a God that seemed very unkind in Cassandra's eyes. Finally he looked up. "You havn't told him, have you?" She shook her head, eyes tearing up again. "Why not? He's got every right to know."

She looked up at him eyes wide. "But Gabe! How will he take it! What will he do!" She began to cry again. "I'm so scared Gabe..."

He reached for her hand again and patted it. "Don't be. Any anger Liam has will be self-directed, any injuries delt will be self-inflicted. You are the last person he will blame Cassi, the last person he'll hurt. He'll tear himself apart long before that...providing you tell him." He looked at her and she looked back, knowing that was all the advice she'd get from him.

Standing she waited for him to finish his drink before he walked her to the door. As he opened it for her she looked back at him. "Don't tell him Gabe, please. This isn't his past we're dealing with here...it's my future."

Gabe shook his head. "History repeats itself for Liam Green...but I won't tell him." He took her hand again, a tight grip this time. "But don't let him find out on his own! He trusts you Cassi, more than he trusts me that is for certain. He trusts me to mend his body. You...you he trusts to mend his spirit."
--------------------------------------

Hang on. I'll try to get the other half up now.

[Kalanna Rai]

Right, quickly now, the second half! Enjoy!
Caution: Not Suitable for All Ages
--------------------------

Chapter Five pt 2: Liam's Crisis

Once I had a beautiful wife, Kelly. I loved her more than anything else in the world, not even my brother came close and we'd been through hell together. She stood with me through the trial, through all the revelations, through everything and she did it with understanding, compassion, and the unwavering view that I did what was right. What had to be done. She gave me two children and they were the center of my world, my darling daughters...born only moments apart. They left this world only moments apart as well...taken from me by the wind, rain, slick asphalt and poor brakes. Kelly was killed instantly...Rilley died in the ambulence...Shelly made it to the Emergency room. My wife was only twenty-three, my daughters were two and a half. Is it any wonder I've stayed celibate? I couldn't go through that again...Alex isn't here this time.

Liam had more bags of groceries under his arms than he'd ever had before as he juggled them in an attempt to get his key out. He realized now why he'd shopped lighter and never locked his door before...but before he hadn't been living with someone. Finally getting the door open he shuffled the groceries around again before walking in, kicking the door shut behind him.

"Cassi...Cassi?" No response. She must still be with Gabe, he thought absently. He'd just set the bags on the counter when there was a knock on his door. He opened it to reveal Angel, the lady who lived across the hall. "Hey Ange."

She smiled. "Hey yourself stud. I was wondering if you could take my trash down with yours?" Liam smiled, mentally slapping himself for forgetting trash day.

"Sure Ange. I'll be over as soon as I get ready to go."

"Thanks for being a pal. I'd do it but I've got to get Jeff's room cleaned before the Social gets here and...will that boy ever clean up after himself? Tell me Liam, you were never that messy at eight were you?" Liam pasted a smile on his face. Eight...eight hadn't been a good year...His father had started a whole new type of abuse that year. Laim stopped his train of thought right there.

"All boys are messy at eight. I'll be over soon Ange, no worries." With that she smiled, patting him on the shoulder in a suggestive manner before walking back across the hall. Shutting the door, Liam sighed. "I give her points for persistance but no..." She'd only been trying to get him in bed for the past three years, he was probably the only man in the building Angel hadn't slept with. Still, she was devoted to her two sons and he had to give her points for that too...

Cracking his knuckles he put the groceries away in record time, throwing the bags into the kitchen trash. After sweeping around the can and scraping off the few mummified food scraps on a couple of the plates by the sink, Liam headed for the bathroom. He figured he'd grab the small bag out of there and stuff it into the larger one in the kitchen. That way he'd have less to carry, not knowing how much Angel had.

He reached down into the can and grabbed the bag, cursing as the cheap white plastic caught and tore on the rim of the can. "Shit! Cassi, will you ever learn to put these on right?" He grabbed another bag from under the bathroom sink before running to grab the small handbroom and dustpan from the kitchen. He was still shaking his head and muttering darkly when he entered the bathroom for the second time.

He'd swept up most of the pile when he found them, buried under mounds of plastic and empty tp rolls. For a moment he didn't believe his eyes, they had to be something else. But what else could they be? Using part of the torn bag as a glove, Liam picked the boxes up and shook their contents out. Lining up the little windows, he fumbled around until he had the box instructions facing him. Quickly he checked the symbols, matching them up to the answers.

"Oh my god..." He just barely made it to the toilet before he was voilently ill. For a few moments after flushing the vomit away and wiping his mouth on his sleeve, he sat there staring at his reflection in the water, not caring that the tips of his hair were trailing in it.

He pulled his head up and, for a moment, just leaned against the wall, head in his hands. His father's laughter echoed in his head. "Couldn't keep it in your pants, eh boy? Just had to go get yourself wet again didn't you?"

"Better than you. At least I've touched another woman...not my own sons." His hallucinary father roared at him, Liam's comment touching the same nerve it had touched in real life. The hallucination of his father got into his face, made all the more real by visceral memories stored from a lifetime of pain.

"You always were the smart-mouthed one. Always were the little spitfire, even in bed. Well pretty boy...you can't get out of this one by looking good." Liam stood up, reaching out as he would have in life to grab his illusionary father, clenching his fists on empty air as his father's laughter echoed around him. "That won't work now Liam, you can't make me shut up pretty boy."

Liam snarled. "Oh can't I?" He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Slowly the laughter faded away, the hallucination went with it. That had been a bad one, he thought as he looked at his palms. His nails had dug in and several shallow crescents were bleeding. Shaking his head he finished cleaning up, throwing it all into the new bag. For a moment he stared at the tests, sitting there in the bin. "Food poisoning my ass...I knew something was wrong."

He had too. Some inner sixth-sense of his had told him Cassi might be breeding. He'd had it with Kelly before she'd told him, he just hadn't wanted to believe it with Cassandra. She didn't...she didn't know. He stuffed the tests into the bag and tied it up, stalking back into the kitchen and stuffing the small bag in the bigger one. Tying that one he walked out into the hall, somehow remembering to knock on Angel's door. With everything that was going on in his head it wasn't inconcevable for him to have forgotten.

She opened the door and smiled at him, her attire having changed already into something a little more slinky. He raised an eyebrow. "You clean house in that?" She looked down slowly, obviously pleased to have his attention.

"No, just getting gussied up for the Social, ya know, smooze 'em." Liam nodded, carefully peering around her and into the impeccible living room.

"So the trash is in the kitchen right?" She blinked and him looking puzzled. "The trash you wanted me to take out?" He hoisted his bag a little bit.

"Oh, yes...the trash. Yeah it's in the kitchen. Over there, by the entrance to the hall..." Dropping his bag outside her door, Liam walked into her kitchen, aware she was tailing him like a ghost. Four bags of trash awaited him, the results of some heavy-duty cleaning. They weren't light either, she must have put bricks or last year's fruitcake in them. Liam himself had never even seen a fruitcake but Cassandra had told him enough about them...

"This it?" Angel was oggling him like a kid in the candy store window. Thank god it wasn't hot out and he wasn't sweaty or he'd probably have looked like the guy from a porno set-up. "Is this it Angel?"

"Hum what? Oh, yeah...that's it." He had to side step around her to get out the door, grabbing his own bag with some difficulty. "Thanks again Liam, drop by anytime." The last bit was said with sensual emphasis. She shut the door slowly as well, and he rolled his eyes. He had enough problems...like one already pregnant woman.

He mused about it all the way down to the dumpster and back, his initial shock over. It wasn't that he minded the idea, he wasn't angery she was pregnant nor was he going to accuse her of sleeping with someone else. He caught some of those looks she shot him when she thought he wasn't looking, he'd been in that shower...damn...kiss and make up his ass. That went way beyond kiss and make up...not even Kelly.

That was the thought that stopped him cold, hand paused inches away from the doorknob his home. Kelly...how could he. Walking in he looked around the living room, in all it's shabby splendour. Cassi had brightened it up a little bit by adding some keepsakes and a few knicknacks of her own...but Kelly would never have let him live like this. She'd have poked him in the ribs, suggested new furnature, and Liam would have agreed.

Kelly hadn't minded the girls either, not after Liam explained about the first one. She'd realized, and accepted, that this was Liam's way of making amends. She told him time and again that he didn't need to make up for killing his father, the man had been a menace...a mad dog that deserved what he got. But Kelly hadn't understood Liam wasn't making amends for what he'd done...he was making amends for what had been done to him.

Kelly had brightened his life, she'd made him feel...human. She'd made him laugh, all the time, with every little thing she'd done. A lot like Cassi did now. He sat down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling, arms resting along the back as he usually did when something big was bugging him. That was it wasn't it? Kelly and Cassandra, they were so damn alike. Not in looks, no Cassi was dark where Kelly had been light, short where Kelly had been tall. But in personality. Still, he didn't love Cassandra as he'd loved Kelly. He didn't have enough heart left for that. And Cassandra and Kelly might be alike but Kelly had understood while Cassandra didn't...

"But she doesn't know..." The thought was voiced aloud. Would she react the same if she knew, as Kelly had reacted when she'd learned?

"So tell her Liam." Those words, uttered so long ago by his little brother. Uttered when he'd broached the subject of his marrying Kelly to Alex. It had been the same concerns and fears then, the same reluctance. He hadn't wanted Kelly to know, yet hadn't been able to lie to her like that.

"But I didn't tell her Alex. You did. You always could talk about it..." The door opened and Liam tilted his head enough to make upside-down eye contact with the person standing in it. Cassandra, looking pale and drawn...sick and worried. He got up as she closed the door, coming around to lean on the back of the couch. "Well?"

She smiled at him. "It's no food poisoning so don't worry."

"Don't worry? You're pregnant and you tell me not to worry?" He was amazed he kept his voice calm, amazed he didn't suddenly drop dead uttering the words. Her face was a mask of shock for a moment before she rushed past him in tears. He followed her...now was not the time for hiding in bedrooms...

He stopped her from slamming the door on him, watched as she stood there with her arms crossed. Her entire body was trembling and fear was plain in her eyes, right next to anger. "He said he wouldn't tell you!" So she was angery at Gabe...did that mean se was afraid of him? That hurt...

"Gabe didn't tell me. I found the tests when I took out the trash. The bag ripped and..." She sat down heavily on the bed and looked up and him, tears running down her face.

"What am I going to do?"

He sat down next to her. "Better question...what are WE going to do?"
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It's up, it's long...it's mushy...hope you liked.

[Lilith]

Hmm... how intruging a situation Rai.

And a chappy with a hope-filled ending to boot? What are you plotting?

I am guessing the DP is What are they gonna do with a kid on the way?

Well, I have no clue at the moment,... but when I do, I'll be back. ;)

[Mephistopheles]

is there a part three coming, or is this the dp? simple plan would be to continue with a happy pregnancy, but, alas, something could happen that causes the loss of the babies life, like one of liams' enemies shoving her down in the street and she strikes a stair or hand rail, and oops, no more baby. or perhaps abortion, no, doesn't fit the characters well enough. people who wait for love and save whores don't abort pregnancies. so yeah, i say toil onwards with the promise of a new existence to come, and see what fate holds in store. Nicely put together too, rai, pretty good read thus far.

[Kalanna Rai]

Vote for your favorite option...but I bet I know which one will win...

[Kalanna Rai]

Right, new chappy for you two to enjoy. Enjoy!
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Chapter Six: A Monster Awakened

The moniters are so familiar...well most of them. The one that kept track of her heart rate and respirations, the ones that kept track of the baby's heart rate. The IV's with the medicins they drip into her and...everything else. She's got a feeding tube in and looks so small and fragile in that bed. God did I ever look like that once? No. I'm sure I didn't. I wasn't six and a half months pregnant for one thing, or female for another. And I was hungery for revenge. That hunger is back, I want this bastard so bad I can taste it. He's mine...

Liam sat next to the hospital bed, flinching every time a nurse walked past, anytime anyone set their eyes upon him. They all thought he did it, thought he'd beaten her and was now playing the 'tragic husband' card. His fists clenched automatically...how could they be so damn wrong? Did the whole world have to be so fucked and jaded all the time? Dammit! This was why he avoided hospitals like the plague. Give him some stitches and some pain meds if he really had something serious.

He looked down at Cassi, laying there with guaze on her face, her belly slightly flatter than it had been. "Oh my God! Liam?!" He looked up, instantly recognizing the voice. Yasmine, another of his saves, an older one...from about two years ago. She was dressed in a pair of pink teddy-bear scrubs, long blonde hair in a neat poneytail.

He stood up as she rushed to embrace him, her tight hug reassuring him more than she realized. "Oh my gawsh honey, you are so tense...and trembling." She took one look at his face and realized it wasn't fear. Looking at the figure in the bed, her face took on a look of shock and horror. "What the hell?"

"She was beaten and shoved down two flights of steps. Her water broke and she went into premature labor...luckily it stopped when she reached the hospital. Luckier still, the baby is still alive. I don't think she could handel loosing it." Yasmine was all professional all the sudden, checking vitals and the bags on the IV drips.

"You will get this guy right Liam?" He knew she was looking at him, he could see her worried face from the corner of his eye.

"What you don't know you can't tell the police Min." She grabbed his arm with surprising force and he was forced to look at her and watch as she pulled it back...something very close to fear in her eyes. But she lifted her chin, steeling herself. She knew his rage wasn't for her.

"I'm not asking as someone who has to report this. I'm asking as a woman concerned for her own saftey. I can't trust the police to do a damn thing...you, on the other hand, I can trust to smash this fucker's kneecaps."

Laim swollowed hard. "Oh...I'm gonna do so much more than that when I find him Min...so much more." With that he grabbed his coat and started to leave the ward, nodding to Wires as he passed. Wires had become protective of Cassi and the baby, a change that had obviously startled Cassi. Liam smiled. Cassi, like most people, had probably pegged Wires as a shadey person and, while he was that, under all that city grime was a very tender heart.

He hadn't gone more than five steps when he stopped to listen as Yasmine put another nurse in her place.

"Did you get a look at that guy? He sure did a number on this girl, poor thing."

"Is THAT what you think? Well listen sista' you got it ALL wrong. That man is Liam Green...that's right, you heard me talk 'bout him before. How many other girls you seen comin' through here talking 'bout him huh? Plenty sista'...plenty."

"HIM? That's THE Liam Green? Oh hell, I shoulda put two and two together but Green's a pretty common last name. Shit, maybe I should apologize...I mean a guy like that wouldn't beat his wife."

"Wife???" Liam booked it before Yasmine could come out here and start getting him for information. Now that he knew she worked here he wouldn't be coming back. Still, he could hear her voice calling him even after he'd left. Poor Wires.

As the elevator doors closed infront of him he relaxed his facade for a moment, allowed the mask to slip a little bit as the fury and hunger came boiling up. He remembered what his therapist had told him after the trial. The guy had poked and prodded everything Liam wanted left alone, Liam understood it was the guy's job and had gritted his teeth and borne it.

Then, after thinking he had Liam's 'issues' dealt with, he began in on the hallucinations. Liam had told him they had gone away before the sessions were over, just to get off the damn medication, and had learned to control them without. But the doc hadn't stopped there, the whole purpose of the sessions had been to see if Liam would kill again. He'd assured the doc he wouldn't.

He didn't know if he'd lied. There were some he was sure he'd dealt lethal injuries to...or near lethal. But they wouldn't have been lethal to Liam...he'd had too many wounds inflicted...knew how to protect himself. Was it his fault they didn't? The elevator opened to the lobby and he headed for the exit.

Lightning forked the sky as he crossed the parking lot. Soon after, rain soaked him, melding cloathing to muscle. A bum glanced at Liam's face and shuddered away. Liam smiled grimly. Woe to the man that had beaten his wife. The monster was loose on the end of his chain.
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He lay back on his bed, dissatisfied. He wasn't sure he'd finished off the last one. She'd been a breader...maybe that's why she refused him. He didn't like refusals and he'd been getting them too much lately. Didn't matter how much cash he offered, they turned him down...

He rolled over an punched his pillow. First the rep on campus for being too tempermental and slightly violent...now the hookers were getting spooked. They couldn't know right? Course not. If they knew the cops would know...and if the cops knew..."Dad." Oh yes, DA dad migh be shocked but he'd still prosecute as ruthlessly as ever.

"And you won't last in jail Jeremy. Not a New York minute." That meant he had to find the bitch and make sure she was dead...but how?
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Meet Jeremy...the villian of the tale. Now how will this college murderer try to take out Cassi...note he has to find her first.
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Hope you liked.

[Mephistopheles]

Nicely written rai, and short! what up with that? anyways, hmm, he knows he didn't kill her, right,so he goes to the hospitals, to find her. but the many nurses who know liam,or of him, keep a pretty close watch on cass, so he can't do nothing til she gets released. Maybe liam could catch a glimpse of him, one time, and then have a face to go with the act? I will say thanks for writing this even though it only got two votes.