City of IF

[Idea master]

You walk into a large, faintly glowing, light blue tent. On the outside, numerous signs proclaimed 'Vote for IM!' and 'Get that fuzzball outta office!' On the inside, you see several thousand seats, though only a few are occupied, mostly by snoozing, elderly, probably confused, people. You take an uncomfortable, cold metal seat and note how very much like an old-fashioned circus this seems.

Suddenly, everything goes dark. A single light shines on drawn curtains in the background, and a deep voice comes on.

Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, assorted others, and children of all ages, to IM'S POLITICAL HEADQUARTERS!

The voice wakes everyone up, if not by it's sheer volume, then by the grating feedback that is fed into the mike moments later.

And here we have for you, the man himself, the one and only...IIIIIIIM!

The curtains draw themselves back on thick golden rope, and a tall figure in wizardly robes walks from the back of the stage to the front and grabs the microphone placed there.

"Thank you, thank you Sobble. Everybody, give it up for Sob, he's the nice man who just introduced me now."

The few people who are there clap raucously for 'Sobble'. No doubt a computer program, but humor the man with the ability to call down flaming balls of death, eh?

"Yes, as you've no doubt figured out by now, I'm IM, and I am running for mayor this time around. This tent in which you are currently sitting in was woven from Idearium. Everything in here is made from Idearium, to promote good ideas and good questions from you, the public. Any questions at all that you want to ask me, go on, and I'll answer them for you!"

There is silence. Then a figure raises his hand...

[Crossfire]

*votes, possibly* Teehee! Just to confuse people who pay attention to what I say. Questions are... Will there be more arbitary magic in IF than ever before? Will there be strange creatures roaming the streets? WILL YOU REDECORATE? If so, I will vote for you.

Alright, maybe. Let's see what else the two candidates offer in the coming days, as they become increasingly desperat- I mean, keen...

And so, with infinite majesty and calm, Crossfire inquires solemnly as to how the City shall be run under Idea Master's (possibly) noble rule. Idea Master responds...

[Masterweaver]

but is interuppted.

Will you allow a bail fee for those incarcerated and also tell them why they are in the pit?

[Idea master]

The wizard, ever calm, has several bodyguards usher the cloak out of the tent. He then replies to Crossfire's question.

"More magic? Why, we keep most of the magic carefully guarded in the Fantasy Forest. Letting it out would be like letting children play with gasoline and blowtorches. Strange creatures roaming the streets? You mean other than the drunk moderators at all hours of the night? We also keep most of the 'strange creatures' locked up in the remnants of the aHEM guildhouse. Letting them loose would surely cause a panic. As for redecorating...Well, I'd do what the people want, naturally. If the public pushes for redecoration, then I'd put some sla- er, I mean, go out and try and find a new look for the city myself. And as for those incarcerated in the HOLE, I'm sorry to say that we did not make a set of keys to open the doors after you have passed through them. No, you must serve your term fully, then, and only then, will you be freed. Any other questions?"

[LordoftheNight]

Well, there's the old classic. Why do you want to be Mayor, and why do you think you'll make a good Mayor?

[Idea master]

The wizard smiles at the Daemonic being, and replies smoothly.

"Why do I want to be mayor? Ask yourself that question, and you'll find my answers are not the same. I want to be mayor so that I can do good for the city, so that I can listen to the citizens and do as they request. I want to be mayor, because I have nothing but good ideas and intentions for this city, for the citizens, for everybody that calls themselves an IFian! I want to be mayor so that I can serve and listen to you! Instead of whining about how nothing gets done, I want to be the one that gets things done! I want to be mayor for YOU!"

[LordoftheNight]

And the second, more important part of the question?

[Idea master]

The wizard replies again to the daemon.

"Why do I think I'll make a good mayor? Why, I'll be elected by the people and for the good of the people, and I'm not one to force my choice on anyone. If they think that they're better served by the orange fuzzball of much moolah, that's up to them. If they want a new, better mayor, then I'm here so that the fuzzball doesn't dominate the office."

[dinranwen]

I have only three questions, for now. Well actuall it's more than three but there only two main questions I would like to answer.

Rumors have it that the city might see another slump of '06.

1.)How do you propose to prevent this diaster?

In regards to this:

A.) How do you propose to increase (storygames wise)the activity of the city?
B.) How do you propose to increase the popularity of the city?
C.) Do have any plans to increase the useful contribuations of new memembers and old ones?

2.) You recently stepped down as the Game District Mod (sorta) claiming that college life had bogged you down, preventing you from doing your job as well as you could?

If this is true how do you propose to be an active mayor?

A.) Are you willing to be an active mayor?
B.) Can you guarantee a quality service as mayor?

Finally,

3.) If you could make an changes, additions or deletions, to our city (with Key's permission): What would it be and who would it approve our lives as citzens?

[Idea master]

The magus turns to the cloaked one and replies very smoothly.

"Ah, another slump. Well, I plan to advertise the city, to bring in as many people from across the 'net as possible, using the mirical that is the banner ad on many places. We are not popular enough to make it on word-of-mouth, so word-of-ad will have to do until we are. New storygames are also being encouraged by the new, invisible Review Board. It can promote any story it pleases for free, and I wouldn't change this. There are also machiniations in progress to increase the quality of storygames already, and once more, I do not plan to change this either, but I shall not divulge this information at this point in time. Suffice to say that those who write above-average stories will find themselves possesing a new rank and see a new hidden forum.

"Yes, Real Life had bogged me down. However, every day I am finding myself with more time to log in and reply to concerened citizens like yourself, so currently Real Life is not an issue. However, should it become one, I will gladly give up the title of Mayor. The people of IF deserve an active mayor, and if I can't be that, then I'll give it up to someone who can.

"If I could make changes to the city, it would possibly be a face-lift here and there, something to make the city look and function smoother, but I wouldn't change the overall structure. That is, unless you all ask for it, at which point I shall ask the kind King as to whether or not it is possible, and if it should be done."

The magus, done for the moment, sets the microphone on the stand and takes a swig of water from a bottle on his hip, awaiting the next question.

[Masterweaver]

Masterweaver sneaks back in.

"Would you pass a law requiring a minimum monthly post for those who did not warn you they were going away in the going away thread?"

After a bit of thought, he adds, "What are you going to do about the various dead users lying around?

[D-Lotus]

As mayor, what would you do that Chinaren couldn't do?

[Idea master]

The magus ignores the cloak, seeing as the question has no basis in logic, or even reality. He instead answers another concerned citizen.

"That's the question, isn't it? What does one candidate have that another lacks? Possibly, oh, I don't know, brains, morals, and a lack of greed or selfish intents? All I want is to be mayor for the people and respond to issues a lot quicker than old moneybags did. Look how long it took him to review the review board!"

[Chinaren]

Idea master wrote: All I want is to be mayor for the people and respond to issues a lot quicker than old moneybags did. Look how long it took him to review the review board!"

Well, I couldn't review it until I had given it a fair chance to work or not now, could I?

[Crossfire]

Crossfire, to the infinite horror of all, fades back into view, and with grim and sepulchral voice, asks mercurially...

Masterweaver, unfortunately for all of us, has a point for once. Dead users are cropping up again, will you get rid of them? What will you do to ease our Fable cons... congestion?

[Chinaren]

Crossfire wrote: Crossfire, to the infinite horror of all,fades back into view, and with grim and sepulchral voice, asks mercurially...

Masterweaver, unfortunately for all of us, has a point for once. Dead users are cropping up again, will you get rid of them? What will you do to ease our Fable cons... congestion?

Sorry to hijack IM's thread here, but what dead users are we talking about?

[Crossfire]

The missing citizens, those with no posts and no topics... There's even one that Key missed the very first time still there, from 2005 or something. Edit: 122 citizens with no posts or topics.

[Chinaren]

Crossfire wrote: The missing citizens, those with no posts and no topics... There's even one that Key missed the very first time still there, from 2005 or something.

I already do something about these.

Here is what I usually do:

I check any new users for obvious Spammer IDs. Those are ones with WWW addresses that are the viagra/insurance/cellphone and other ones, and delete them straight away.

Users that register but don't activate (respond to the e-mail) I delete after about 3 weeks. Maybe less depending if the e-mail is obviously a random one.

For users that register and activate, but don't post, I leave for two to three months. I have known people on here be inactive for a long time before posting, but I think 3 months is reasonable.

For posters who have posted a few times, but then apparently left, I delete after about 4 months of inactivity. (I can see when their last logon was).

For posters who have contributed lots to the city, but appear to be inactive, I wait for longer, in the hope they will return. Thracia Alba for example, still has her ID, though this is scheduled for termination soon.

I also have added a lot of phrases/strings and other things that reduce the number of Spam-IDs but don't (I hope) hinder proper users from registering.

I hope that answers your question.

[Crossfire]

Thank you. Is any of this information actually posted in the forums? Because I think that it might be just slightly helpful to you if you outline what you have actually DONE.

[Idea master]

If someone is dead, the final step is 'burying' them. I.E. removing their account if they don't respond to e-mail proddings. I got sent one once, and came back soon enough. If someone doesn't come back, then we bury and mourn the dead. Although it would be nice if we told them we'd do that first.

[Crunchyfrog]

I echo that - perhaps send out a mail warning that the account will be deleted in say 2 weeks if a response is not received, or the user does not log in during that time.

[Chinaren]

Crunchyfrog wrote: I echo that - perhaps send out a mail warning that the account will be deleted in say 2 weeks if a response is not received, or the user does not log in during that time.

Well, for inactive users who have posted lots in the past, then I think this is valid, and I've already had this discussion with Key.

However, I'm not prepared to spend that amount of time going through the lists, sending an e-mail, recording who I have sent a mail to and checking it a few weeks later etc. on people who haven't logged on more than the once when they registered. :-o

[Guest]

That would send like a lot of work, but you all must be prepared to take large responsibilities, hm.

[Crossfire]

I'm sure there's at least one person in the entire forum that's half-way decent with PHP... I would say something along the lines of give me a bit of time and I could jury-rig a passable automated email service that would do your work for you, but that would be... frankly, that would be both idiotic and damning, considering that fact that I will have even heavier time constraints on me soon... So someone else can do it.

[Amichan]

There is the possibility of either assigning the MIA list to someone...
Having a few designated Citizens of IF do the door to door emails to warn the vagrants in the city that they need to respond to maintain their staus in IF or they will be deleted

[Crossfire]

This could have a Fable reward until the aforementioned system is up and running... You get paid X amount for your work, and chinaren sits back and does some 'Mayoring', preferrably with some busty blondes!

[Amichan]

Nah mayoring is much more than dealing with blondes

[chiacutie]

Masterweaver wrote: After a bit of thought, he adds, "What are you going to do about the various dead users lying around?


I wasnt dead... I was.... Sleeping.