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Broken-Melissa Dies
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Mephistopheles



Joined: 24 May 2007
Posts: 632
Location: Not where I want to be.

Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 2:23 pm    Post subject: Broken-Melissa Dies  

Warning: This is horribly graphic! Oh, and no children….PLEASE! If you think your parents would freak if they read this, then don’t read it! If sex offends, Do Not Read This! You have been warned, and fairly







Intro to Humiliation


A cat screams in the night, returning me back to the harshness of my reality. I lay on my side, a cold, hard floor beneath me. My spine is arched painfully backwards, as my hands and feet are tied together behind me. Darkness is all I have known for an indefinite period of time. I try to think back, to remember how I got this way. God, I don't even know where I am.

I remember that I had been out walking in the woods, feeling the love of the forest and admiring its' beauty. Peace had filled my mind, calming me and setting me off my guard. Suddenly a thick web dropped from above me, knocking me to the ground and ensnaring my personage. A dark cloth was thrown over me. Unceremoniously was I rolled about on the ground, 'til such time as I was entirely covered in the thick, stifling cloth.

I couldn't understand the language being spoken by my captives, but I sensed their excitement. Ropes were wrapped about me, and I was thrown over the back of some tall animal. Ribs pushed against my chest and shins as it breathed, and from the animal came a rank, putrid smell of decay.

At some command, movement commenced. I was bounced up and down sharply, every jarring movement forcing the air out of my lungs. Every attempt to match my breathing to the jostling movement met failure. It seemed the beast knew how to keep me uncomfortable, that or the being driving it. I could not know.

We continued our march for what seemed eternity. I had to pee. Would they stop soon and allow me that comfort? it seemed they wouldn't, and after a particularly hard jolt, my bladder let loose. Urine streamed down my leg, soaking my clothes. My nose filled with its' acrid scent. I heard laughter. What kind of... people, beings, would take such amusement from another's discomfort? True fear crept into my mind and heart, banishing all the hope that I had tried to retain.

We stopped, after what had been so long that not only had I peed myself, but I had also defecated in my pants. The mingling scents of my urine and poop choked me, filling me with a desire to throw up. I was constantly swallowing the bile that threatened to spew forth. I felt my body lifted from the animal. Please let them allow me a breath of fresh air. I can't hold this vomit much longer.

I felt the cloth being jerked down from my head. Bright light filled my eyes as a hand slapped the side of my face, hard. The force of the blow knocked me onto my side. Pain filled my cheek and jaw. A foot struck me in the ribs, and then I was forced back into a sitting position. I was struck again, this time on the left side. My body resumed its' previous position, and I spit out some blood as I lay there. My cheek was cut where I had bit into it. Once again I was kicked, and once again I was sat back up. Is this some sort of game to them? What do they want me to do?

There was discussion going on behind me, and for the first time, I heard a female voice. I tried to look around, but was rewarded for my efforts with another slap to the face. God, my face was getting sore! I tried not to fall over, afraid that I would get kicked again if I did so. I barely managed to remain upright. My chin fell to my chest in what I hoped they would understand to be defeat. They must have understood, because I wasn't struck again. Laughter followed my show of submission.

With my back against the tree I remained, the smell of my wastes the only company left to me. I hadn't heard my captors for some time, but fear prevented me from investigating this further. I tried to take in what little I could of my surroundings. The darkness of the night was so dense that I could see no more than foot beyond my body.

I heard voices coming. The cloth was pulled up over my head again. I was forced onto the back of another beast, and we set off again. This trip was shorter, and I was very thankful for that. A voice spoke in a language that I understood, although it was an older, outdated dialect than that which I was accustomed to hearing.

“Take her to the dungeons to wait for Melissa.” I was pulled off the animal and thrown over the shoulder of a large person. He stank. His smell overpowered the scents of my own wastes, even through the cloth covering my body. Down and down he carried me, deep into the earth. Where was I going, what was to happen to me? Who were these people? No answers could be gained from what little I could sense.

After the passage of what must have been a thousand stairs, I could hear water dripping. I was placed on the floor, the cloth wholly removed from my body. The rope binding my hands and feet was checked for tightness. “You will enjoy Melissa, little elf. If not, well, you are quite pretty. She will enjoy you for sure.” He gave me a horrible grin, through which gray slime and broken teeth were revealed. Then he chuckled and walked out.

Who is this Melissa, and what will she enjoy about me? I hadn’t long to ponder this before I found out. “My God, you reek. Unbind her and strip her. Burn those foul clothes, and prepare her for cleansing.”

Hands unseen grasped me from behind and worked in compliance to Melissa’s orders. I was stripped, in front of all those that I could not see, but there was Melissa, looking me over, admiring my curves and skin.
“Ah, very nice. Tight flesh, a firm butt and breasts, and yes, perfect skin. If you obey, elf, and co-operate, it can remain that way. Otherwise, I am afraid to say, if I must get rough, perhaps your family will not even recognize you. Cleanse her!” Melissa smiled. I was forced to a wall, where manacles awaited my hands. My legs were forced apart, my feet bound in iron sandals fixed to the floor. Water gushed out of a nozzle below, blasting its way into every fold and crease in my flesh. Others turned on above and in front of me. Through some unknown means they revolved around me, washing every bit of skin. The force from the one below me increased, and suddenly, I felt it intrude into me! I screamed in pain as it began filling my colon with water, and then, in one large gush, every bit of offal within my body was eliminated. What the hell was this for? The nozzle lowered, and I was left hanging from the chains. My breath came in short gasps. I was spent.

“Place her on the table.” I was moved to a cold, marble table. My arms and legs were spread apart, and restrained in iron links. “Now, elf, why were you in the forest of Woe?”

“The forest of Woe?, what are you talking about? I know of no such place!” I could not understand what she was talking about. Forest of Woe, where the hell was that?

“You lie, elf! Tell me what you were doing, or I shall force the knowledge out of you! Would you enjoy having me use this on you ,elf?” I looked up, and in her hand was………




Okay, well, this is a bit of a torture scene, and well, that is pretty much what the first few chapters will be about, perhaps many of them, if you all wish. What does Melissa have in her hand? How will she use it? Be imaginative, and feel free to offer up anything, nothing is taboo here. She has been prepped for, well, anything, so let your inhibitions loose on this one. If I don’t get enough responses, I will cease the work.
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Chinaren



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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:25 pm    Post subject:  

A large phallus. With spikes. :shock:
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NeverNeverGirl



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Location: in your dreams baby oh yeah... ;)

Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:45 pm    Post subject:  

CHINA!!! you are just as bad as meph!

i say it is a photo of her in the forest presumably near some important relic to this Melissa character!

i do find your writing so deliciously angsty, tormented and descriptive meph. how about this all turns out to be a dream and she wakes up to go off to work painting easter eggs?

No? i didnt think you would let me do that to the story...

i wait with bated breath
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 5:24 pm    Post subject:  

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Crunchyfrog
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:26 am    Post subject:  

I think it would have to be something torturous. Maybe a brand or something like that.

Gripping stuff, well written. :)
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Mephistopheles
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 4:57 pm    Post subject:  

Poll is finally up! vote wisely! or deviously, should that be your cup o' tea!
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Mephistopheles
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 1:53 pm    Post subject: Broken-Pain  

this chappy rated 'R' by the Messy rating system for unapproved behavior towards women and minor sex scenes. You have been warned!


In her hand was a brightly glowing brand. “Elf, I shall use this on you, and revel in the pain you feel. I shall delight in the odors of your burning flesh. Will you tell me what I want to know?”

“I have already told you, I know nothing of this Forest of Woe. I was merely out walking. I haven’t done anything! I know nothing!” I was looking into Melissa’s eyes, hoping that she would see the truth. Obviously, she missed it.

“I have tried to be patient Elf, but you have tried it too long. Say goodbye to your unblemished flesh!”
She lowered the hot brand onto my left breast, just above the areola. The iron felt cold at first, freezing. Then the heat flared through my flesh, smoke rising in a small tendril. I held back the scream that rose in my throat. Into Melissa’s malevolent green eyes I stared. The brand was removed, placed back into the fire, and another drawn. There followed no questions, just the searing sound of flesh as it was plunged onto my right breast, in a mirrored position to the first. More smoke rose, more stench of burnt flesh permeated the air. I bit into my tongue, drawing forth blood. The scream died in my throat, a rock caught in the screen. My gaze never faltered.

“Oh, but we are a strong, proud Elf, aren’t we?” Melissa threw back her head and laughed. “And what should you gain from this Elf? Who shall care what you have suffered? None shall care, none shall know. Would you feel more? Or would you tell me what I desire to know?”

“I told you , evil bitch, I know nothing!”

“Liar.!”

Melissa spun towards the fire, drawing forth a long blade of hot steel. The tip of it she placed at the juncture of clavicles. My back arched in pain. She began to draw it downwards, between my breasts, down the line of my abdomen, stopping just above the short curly hair that marked the beginning of my private area. The iron still glowed. The pain was fading. Melissa placed the hot poker on the right hip bones, pressing hard, burning deep. She slowly moved it over to the left hip bone. Still, I cried out not, and this seemed to infuriate her further. She brought the now cooling iron down over my stomach, repeatedly, over and over laying it flat until my stomach was covered with crisscrossing welts and burns.

“Will, you speak now?” She seemed to have regained some of her composure. Her hand was resting on the inside of my thigh, no instruments of pain in her hands. She moved her body closer to my head, her hand trailing upwards towards the juncture of my thighs. Her fingers now rested on the very bud of nerves that I had so often stroked when my tension was high, but there was no excitement in her touch, no promise of gentle loving caress. They just sat there, cold and dead, as if they were resting on a table. She leaned closer. Her face just inches over mine. She kissed my lips. A mere brush of flesh on flesh, but a kiss with promise of better to come were I to co-operate. She withdrew a few inches. “I admire your strength, Elf. Come, tell me what you were doing. I don’t want to hurt you more. Just tell me why you were there, and I will be gentle with you. You shall be my lover. Come, tell me. Let us end this game. “

“I know nothing, why won’t you believe me?”

Anger flared in her eyes, and her fingers pinched hard upon the flesh between my legs. Pain shot through my body. I gasped, I bit off the scream before it could escape though. She squeezed harder, twisting the nub left and right as her pressure increased. It was all I could do to continue to look into those eyes. Those cold, dead eyes.

The pressure ceased. She was moving away. What was we she going to do now? I began to think, frantically, going over what she wanted to know, but there was nothing that I could recall about a Forest of Woe…but, wait, was there? Had I heard of this forest, as a child? I though harder, but it was difficult to concentrate with all the painful sensations that my mind was receiving from the various parts of my afflicted body.

I thought back to a time when my Granddad had still been alive. I was only a little girl then, maybe five or six. He was telling me a story.

“And the knight went off in search of the Rod of Power. It was said to be in the Forest of Woe, but there was no one alive to attest to this fact. For many years he traveled, finally coming to the forest itself. A man leaned against a tree near to the path which cut into the deep darkness beneath the towering limbs. ‘Hile, traveler! State your purpose, or have your entry denied.’”

“You Godsdamned bitch!” Melissa’s voice tore into my memory, stripping it away like a petal loosed in the wind. She was at my feet, a smaller iron in her hand. She plunged it into the flesh on the instep of my foot. OH, the exquisite pain! I screamed, my first scream, and her eyes flashed in triumph. The other instep was branded, and tears flowed down my cheeks.

“Ah, we are finally getting somewhere, huh? That is well! Will you tell me now why you were caught snooping in the Forest? “ She leaned closer to me. I sniffed and tried to stifle the stream of snot that threatened to run out of my nose.

“I can’t. I don’t know anything. Please, let me go! I won’t tell what happened to me, who did it, just please, let me go!” I pleaded with every bit of my body that I could, but it was to no avail.

Melissa looked into my face, leaning close once again. She kissed each cheek, then my mouth. “I so wish that you would just tell. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. But I need to know what you were doing. Will you tell me other than what you already have?”

“I can’t. I have told you all I know.”

“Lying bitch Elf.” She stood up, turned and yelled to the unseen servants about he room, “Hang her from the manacles, and keep her clean, but cold. I must think of something else that may loosen her tongue.”

Eager hands, ungentle hands, grabbed my body, undid the straps that held me to the table, and moved me back over to manacles and sandals. I was forced back into that humiliating stance, and the water turned on again, repeating the process that it had performed mere hours earlier.

So, kinda back to where we were. How should the interrogation continue? her back is a clean slate still, so, have fun!
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:11 pm    Post subject:  

She is forced to listen to sermons on the radio for over 6 hours.
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Crossfire
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:37 pm    Post subject:  

'Listening to sermons over the radio for six hours' does not precisely capture the spirit of the story, D... Let's try something a little more universal, though to most that would be a torture far worse than the one I'm about to detail. *shudders* ... .menA .live morf su reviled...

I suggest that her body is immersed in warm water for many, many days. This will result in the skin of her hands and feet falling off. Afterwards, force her to crawl over a bed of minature caltrops with hooked spikes for several lengths, or at least until she agrees to tell you something.

To make sure that she acquiesces to your kindly request, place a low, iron, spike-embedded wall behind her and heat it using braziers or some-such. That'll keep her moving. Of course, if she doesn't give in after the first couple of lengths, she'll be a cripple for life. If she doesn't move, then she will die a horrible and painful death. Incidentally, the spikes on the wall are barbed, long and very, very pointy. Just to... inform you of matters. ;)
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NeverNeverGirl
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:49 pm    Post subject:  

i always thought the whole drip torture thing was kinda inspired... yu know they are streched out on a rack and water is let to drip in the middle of their foreheads.. eventually they igve in or go insane.....

messy, hmm, you seem to be giving SKiffy so great threads lately... how about you give HEM a go? or is that maybe where Bunnies is headed?
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Chinaren
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 3:31 pm    Post subject:  

I'm with NeNe. Some more subtle form of torture is the way to go. However, does she have kin near? Torturing her baby sister in front of her may produce the required result.

:grin:
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NeverNeverGirl
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 3:51 pm    Post subject:  

chinaren wrote: I'm with NeNe. Some more subtle form of torture is the way to go. However, does she have kin near? Torturing her baby sister in front of her may produce the required result.

:grin:


You, SIR, are a cad! a CAD and an OAF ! :-o and a BOUNDER!

torturing a baby! *looks at ren in disgust* :shock:
i spit on you (metaphorically = i'm just not that gross) :(
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Chinaren
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:07 pm    Post subject:  

It doesn't have to be a baby. Any close family or friend.
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Mephistopheles
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:08 pm    Post subject:  

ah, but the baby might be fun! over quick, but fun!
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NeverNeverGirl
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:14 pm    Post subject:  

mephistopheles wrote: ah, but the baby might be fun! over quick, but fun!

WRONG! i refuse to associate with such as the likes of you two! :x
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Mephistopheles
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:19 pm    Post subject:  

oh, c'mon nene. it is only fictional! ok, we'll make it her long distance boyfriend that gets captured and tortured,,should that go to poll. that be better?
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Chinaren
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:27 pm    Post subject:  

Baby, baby, baby! :-o
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NeverNeverGirl
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Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 5:00 pm    Post subject:  

GRRRRRR! dont you DARE!

i vote you torture her long distnace boyfriend the less than honorable REN!!!

PUT THAT IN YOUR POLL AND SMOKE IT!
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:23 pm    Post subject:  

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Mephistopheles
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Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 10:19 am    Post subject:  

Poll is up here, and a word of caution. Should the fourth entry win, we shall cast another poll to determine the abducted family member. unless those of you who vote for it (china) put in reply who you wish to see tortured. thanks everyone for the great ideas, and have fun!
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NeverNeverGirl
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Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 12:26 am    Post subject:  

I just wanted to say that i didn't vote for family member as it doesnt flow well witht he line of the story. She was abducted spontaneously for being somewhere she had never been b4 so it hardly seems reasonable that they know her family though have no clue who she is or why she was there!

(unless it is the child killing Ren or someone - then i willdeal with the continuity issues!! :D)

so there, i have voted and lets hear it for WATER!
:x
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Mephistopheles
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Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:33 am    Post subject:  

There are means to create a flow with the family member, but however, i am removing the possibility of a second poll for that option, as i have already thought of the scenario in which it could occur. So don't be concerned with that, nene. hehe, or maybe you should be concerned?
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NeverNeverGirl
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Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:37 pm    Post subject:  

My dear Messy when it comes to you i am always concerned.... add to that the musings of Ren and i feel compelled to lock you both away somewhere so that the rest of IF is safe....
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Head Eater
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Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:24 pm    Post subject:  

Thissss ssstory hasss met with my approval.
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Mephistopheles
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:01 pm    Post subject:  

This chappy rated R by the messy rating system.


How am I going to escape this? I know nothing of the Rod of Power or the Forest of Woe. What should I do? I don’t want to die, not yet, not like this! Oh, please, let me think of something! I hung there, arms and legs spread, cold and shivering. A troll had come down to feed me. He forced vile chunks of vegetables into my mouth. I swallowed the rotten tasting food with no hope for life from it. Hopes of death from food poisoning flitted through my mind. Brackish water was poured into my face, and I opened my mouth to take some in. Anything was better than the taste of that awful soup. How much longer could I hold out? How long before Melissa tired of torturing me and just killed me for my ignorance? Soon I prayed. My poor blistered skin burned, throbbed. My once beautiful body was now a criss-crossing mass of weal’s. A tear slipped from my eyes. I was no longer beautiful. I was weakened. Soon I would stop caring and die.


Suddenly Melissa stood before me. “How are we, my sweet, proud Elf?” Her hands caressed my flesh, her palms running over the burn marks that she had inflicted upon me. Oddly, they hurt less, and soon, there was no pain at all. “You see, Elf? I am not all bad. I can take the scars away too, make you perfect, make you whole again. You could be my lover even, I have grown to desire you much. All you have to do is tell me why you were in the Forest of Woe. There will be no more pain, only pleasure. I am as skilled in the art of pleasure as I am at inflicting pain. Please, tell me what you know, why you were there, and I shall love you forever.” She leaned forward, placing her lips on my own. It was as if a bolt of lightning passed from Melissa to me. For one instance, I wished that I did know something, anything, just so that I could know that those lips, this pleasure, could be mine for the rest of my life. Sorrow overtook me. I knew nothing, and when I revealed this to her, no matter the woe or sincerity that I placed upon my words, Melissa’s anger would rise again, and she would hurt me more.

“Please, Melissa, call me Elf no longer. I am Sheila.” Maybe if I made it more personnel she would show mercy unto me? I could only hope.

“Sheila.” As she said my name, the word seemed to flow over me, into me, thrilling my mind and body to hopes that I dare not express. “Will you talk to me now, Sheila?” Her hands were working over my body again, pleasure seeming to merely pour out of them and into me. I shivered in delight.

“I would, Melissa, if I knew what you needed to know, but I know nothing. I am sorry, please, believe me! I want nothing more than to sit in rapture with you, thrill in the touches of your flesh every moment that we can spare, and yet, I fear this will not be. I speak truly and openly to you, yet, I see in your eyes that you believe naught that I speak.”

“It is too bad, Elf, Sheila, that you have chosen this. I would have loved you, placed you above all others. Now you will know only suffering, and finally, in the end, madness.”

She stepped away from me, and rough hands again grabbed my flesh, supporting me as the manacles were unlocked. I was carried to the table again. Laid out with legs and arms spread, I was once more restrained. Melissa stood over me, her hand on my thigh. Her fingers worked their way up to my leg. She stooped and kissed me, one last time. “I will miss you, Sheila.” A tear fell from her eyes and struck me in the forehead. She leaned away, and then motioned to someone that was outside of my sight. I felt a drip of water splash on my forehead, in precisely the same spot that the tear had struck. Another fell from above me, and with unerring aim, landed where the previous drops had hit. I thought of Melissa, and the genuine sorrow that seemed to pervade her demeanor. Another drop, another thought. And suddenly I realized what she had done. Every drop that fell would remind me of her, remind me of the hope that I had possessed for a few brief moments, and the emotions that this created would drive me mad, or force me to speak. Tears began to flow, as I realized that I was in the final hours of my sanity. I had nothing to offer, and mad I would become.

“Melissa, the High Lord Utik wishes to speak with you at once. He is in his chambers.” A rough gravelly voice spoke to Melissa. She turned to face me once again. “Good-bye, love. I will return in a short while. Please, speak to me then, and let this stop.” She wiped another tear from her eye, and then exited the room, following the Lord’s attendant.

“Have you found anything out, Melissa? You have had the Elf for three days now. What have you learned?” Utik was sitting on his throne, looking at Melissa with contempt and rage. Never had she failed to gain knowledge, or to see when she was wrong, but here she was, standing before him, un-knowing and ignorant to the reason for that lack of knowing. He sensed something else as well, but he was unable to pin-point it.

“My Lord, the Elf is both haughty and strong. She has revealed nothing to me. She will break soon, or, Sheila, I mean, she will dissolve into madness.”

“You have grown fond of her, yet wish for her to break before you take her to be yours? Take her now, and be pleasant to her. I feel her heart even now, pounding away for you, for she loves you as surely as you love her. But your love for power has blinded you, Melissa, to the power of love itself. The Elf knows nothing. She has been telling the truth the whole time. Go to her, and take her to your chambers. Wash her, clothe her, feed her proper food. She is your servant, for we can never let her leave, but you may have her just as surely as she would have you.”

“Are you sure, my Lord, that she is telling the truth?” Please let him say it is so! I want her, I want Sheila as my own, whole and broken, yes, but not destroyed. She looked into his face with pleading eyes.

“Go release her now. We needn’t have worried about the Elves. Their memories are long, yes, but the purpose of the forest, or even it’s location, is beyond their ken. Go, and I will see you later, Melissa.”

“Thank you my Lord, thank you!” Melissa turned and nearly ran out of the chamber in her excitement. Sheila was hers! All she had to do was devise a means of keeping her love, and keeping her submission, without breaking her spirit entirely.

She reached the dungeon and flew to Sheila’s side. She motioned for the drip to stop, and was releasing her before the last drop could reach her. With a wave of her hand, a cloak appeared, draped over arm. She brought Sheila to her feet and covered her cold nakedness with the cloth. Then Melissa could take it no more, and turned her mouth to Sheila’s. “Will thee love me as I love you?” Her mouth hovered mere inches away. She looked into Sheila’s eyes, attempting to read the thoughts that were flowing through her head, but love blinded her to this invasion. She could only wait for a response. And what if she rejected her? Well, they would deal with that later. For now, this instance, she had a being that she could love in her arms, and the future be damned just as surely as she was.

okay, so we dripped, we got wet, we got a new story line developing. Dp? Does Sheila accept Melissa? Does her heart turn cold and deny Melissa? Are there other options here that I fail to see? Give me some feedback, ladies and gents, and let’s see where this shall lead.
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 2:27 pm    Post subject:  

Hmm. After reading this, I believe you to be a 'freaky romantic', meph (yes, I just coined that term).

Torture to love- back to torture- and then you even added in a cheesy 'love thee'.

I think that to accurately title your genre, I'd have to say: Shakespearian fantasy morbus.
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Chinaren
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 4:53 pm    Post subject:  

MMMm.. I think she missed a trick here. She could have said (maybe she still can) that she persuaded the Overlord to release Sheila. That way maybe she can "convince her" she is on 'her' side.
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NeverNeverGirl
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Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 1336
Location: in your dreams baby oh yeah... ;)

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:07 pm    Post subject:  

okay messy. wow.

i must say i have to agree with D's comment. I think you are getting softer :D

As for what next?

(oh yeah its devise not device.)

I like Ren's line - leave Sheila indebted (and if you ever get over to Australia you will realise how muerous you use of that name is LOL). she might as well go off with melissa. then she stumbles across the true use of the forest and decides to take the knowledge back to the elves.

Obviously this wil have to be worked through a couple of chapters.
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Hak
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Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 247
Location: hell

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:36 pm    Post subject:  

China's idea is a good one.... But the tables should turn... Melissa healed her, right? So little miss elfy should, in the time Melissa was gone, have grown an extreme hatred for her and lop off her head...... for fun.... :-D
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Rune
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Joined: 20 Mar 2007
Posts: 279
Location: Get Lost.

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 6:44 pm    Post subject:  

These two need to hook up.
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Crunchyfrog
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Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 2315

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 2:21 pm    Post subject:  

Pretend to accept...


I got confused a bit with the POV change, although technically there was nothing wrong with it, I guess - It just seemed strange going back and referring to Sheila in the third person, who had previously been telling the story in the first person...
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LordoftheNight
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Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5241
Location: Hell

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:03 pm    Post subject:  

Man, I really should have got here sooner. You've been missing out of my ingenious ideas for torture.

I hope we can expect more of that later.
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Kalanna Rai
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Joined: 21 Jan 2006
Posts: 2689
Location: Soul searching. Donations welcome.

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:00 am    Post subject:  

Definetly hook up. The Elf her love need a little more time to bond.
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Hak
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Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 247
Location: hell

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:50 pm    Post subject:  

I still think elfy should let miss split personality's head fall to the dround, or elfy should thrust her hand in her gut....... Revenge is oh so beautiful...
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Mephistopheles
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Joined: 24 May 2007
Posts: 632
Location: Not where I want to be.

Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 1:38 pm    Post subject:  

just one problem with the head lopping action: where does she get the sword?
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