City of IF

[Mephistopheles]

This chappy contains strong innuendos and insinuations, also a touch of blood. prolly not offensive, but better let you know anyways!





The bunnies all stared at the dozer. It's rumbling was mesmerizing, it's color so bright and shiny. All they could do was watch, waiting for it to move.

Thumper came out of his state of stupor and shouted at all of them "Hop, hop while we can!" They all turned towards his voice, and then, they understood. If they fled, they could live! So, they all started hopping back that way. All of them but Doomedisi. He just sat there, staring at a big metal track as if it were the neatest thing that his little black bunny eyes had ever seen.

"Doomedisi, c'mon, ya gotta hop man!" Thumper was shouting over his little bunny shoulder, his ears laid back low to help his aerodynamics. Doomedisi acted like Grumpy, deaf to the world. Thumper stopped hopping. He had to do something. The dozer was beginning to move! It veered slightly to the right.

``````````````

"Well, dearest love of mine, how should the bunny die? We could run him over with a track, or we could scalp him with the blade, or, oh, I know! We can let it get past him, make that stupid bunny Thumper think that Doomedisi is safe, and then drop the big earth tearing things in the back on top of him, crushing him!"

“Oh Father! You are so sadistic! But, yeah, let that silly Thumper think that Doomedisi is safe, and then squash him with teeth. Ooh, I hope he splats nicely!”

“Ok, Mother dearest, just a second.” God moved his hands over the large globe that is our earth for a moment, and then sat back. He pressed a button on his Lazy-Boy, and there, on the wall, large as life was the very scene that we have been watching. “Here it comes! Oh, look at Thumper hop! Always the hero, bunnies named Thumper.”

“Shh, Father! I want to hear the bones break when the teeth crush the poor bunnies body!.”

“Sorry love, I just….”

“Just SHUT UP!”
``````````````````````````````
Thumper hopped towards Doomedisi as fast as his little rabbit legs would let him. He watched as the dozer turned slightly, missing Doomedisi by mere inches. And still the moronic bunny just sat there! “Doomedisi! Hop!”

The back of the dozer was almost even with Doomedisi now. It turned to the left, and the shadows of the teeth at the rear of the dozer began to pass over him. One tooth was now directly overhead. It fell heavily, the thousands of pounds of pressure tearing through Doomedisi’s head and exiting out his, well, bunny arse. The teeth sank lower into the ground, and began dragging through the earth, with the bunny still lodged upon the metal spike, breaking ground with his face and body. After a few feet, his body tore in half. Blood and bunny guts were scattered within the groove. The dozer halted. Thumper reached the remains of his little known friend. He vomited upon the remains.

Looking up towards the heavens, eyes shut, he cried out, “Why God! Why have you let this happen?” He opened his little eyes and saw God and his wife for a brief moment, looking down on the scene and laughing, great tears of joy leaking from their eyes.

Thumper shook his head, and looked again. Surely he had imagined that, hadn’t he? God and his wife (did God even a wife?) wouldn’t be laughing at the tragic demise of Doomedisi, would they? Unless, perhaps they had planned it? What sort of god would he be then? Thumper began to hop back that way, thoughts rolling in his tiny bunny mind.
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“Oh, that was so funny! Did you see that dear? Oh, I hadn’t thought that he would get drug by the blade! That was so awesome!” God shook with laughter. His wife was laughing so hard, tears leaking out of her eyes, that she could do nothing else in way of response. She looked down on the scene again, and there was Thumper, pleading with them for reasons. He opened his eyes, and she thought that she saw him look into her own. “The button, Father! Turn off the magnification.!”

God struck the button, but it was too late. Thumper HAD seen them! Would he believe what he saw? Would he understand it? God didn’t think so. Bunnies were quite stupid. They were safe enough.

“Come Mother, let us go screw like bunnies.”

“No, Father, I have a headache.”

God turned form his wife and decided that it was time to go make rain over some country. Better do it soon though, before it built up so much that he made another hurricane. Her and her damned headaches!

```````````````````````````````````````````
Thumper began hopping back towards his family and friends. He hopped until he reached the little water. Everyone was gathered there, waiting for him. “Didja save that dumb hare, thumper?” Grumpy asked.

“No, he is dead. But I thought that I saw God laughing about it.”

“Whatcha sayin Thumper? Doomedisi didn’t make it eh? Ah well, God bless ‘is lil bunny soul.” Grumpy had, once again not heard a thing Thumper had said. Thumper didn’t feel like repeating himself, so he just shook his head. Layla hopped over to Thumper.

“Heya Thumper! Let’s go find a nice spot. I don’t really feel like doing it in front of everyone again.” Layla had that gleam in her eye that she got every ten to fifteen minutes.

“Nah, I, well, okay. And then we can talk afterwards.” They hopped off from the others and found a cozy place to behave like rabbits. Afterwards, Thumper looked at her. “Layla, do you know, I think God killed Doomedisi on purpose. I saw him, laughing up in the heavens. Him and his wife.”

“Silly Thumper, god doesn’t have a wife! She isn’t mentioned anywhere in the ancient bunny texts. You were just traumatized, that is all. I know the perfect thing to fix it too. Come here, big bunny, and earn your name!”

Just as he was getting ready to go again, however, a voice spoke. “So, you saw God, huh? And he was laughing at your friend? Would you like to seek revenge?”

“Who the, what the, hey, I’m busy here! Can’t this wait?” Thumper was quickly getting over the tragic events of twenty minutes ago. Now this voice was interfering with his abilities.

“Oh, so sorry Thumper. I guess it can wait for thirty seconds.” said the voice

Thirty seconds later, Thumper asked again, “Okay, now who are you, what do you want?”

The voice chuckled.



Okay, so who does the voice belong to, and what does he offer to Thumper?

[Masterweaver]

Cuthulu. All I know about the gut is that he's big, bad, and scary. Nonetheless, he comes over to the bunny and says, "I hate him too. Let me possess your body." Of course, Cuthulu's wife/daughter/cousin/sister/etc. inhabits Layla becuase she doesn't want to be left out. And thus they terrorize the humans, but how this relates to vengeance on god... You pick.

The text is actually pg-ish as you skipped over the bunny scenes.

[The White Blacksmith]

Who says it's someone else. Thumper's been traumatiosed, he's hearing a voice inside his head.

It's called Reason.

[LordoftheNight]

I think it's Satan - or Daddy as I like to call him.

Always seeking revenge on the man (plus wife) upstairs, good ol' Satan will quickly organise a legal team, charging God with reckless endangerment, GBH, murder, damage to public property, willfull negligence and rabbit oppressed by total traumatic experiences near-death (henceforth referred to as RObTTENd, or ROTTEN for short).

One of those should manage to delay God a bit, meanwhile Satan can hit him with yet another devious and cunning ploy, probably also involving bunnies. Maybe a big ferret as well.

[Lilith]

*rolls eyes* And then what Lordy? Have Satan win the legalities and God and his wife have to be cast out of "heaven" while Satan gets to take over...

and then the whole story is an analogy of how the smallest thing will bring about the apocalypse as we know it?

*covers mouth from tirade* Ooops. :shock:

[Mephistopheles]

wow, lily! you really let lordy have it there! Why can't satan help the bunny litigate charges against god? might be fun, or funny.
have to take away his god like power though, else he will just kill everyone, prolonging the trial for all of eternity

[NeverNeverGirl]

i actually really like the idea of a shady legal character offering to sue god... (think Jason lee in DOgma - though he was a demon too).

Maybe its a streetwise ferret - or a rat that used to live in a Law firm building and he ocmes out stating precedents and statutes and suggesting the bunny has a pretty good case....

[Mephistopheles]

oh god, i was only kidding there! but, it will make the poll, and i will do what i can with it if that wins

[DELETED]

DELETED

[Head Eater]

Thissss sstory hasss been judged worthyyy.

Enssssure it remainssss ssssooooo.

[The White Blacksmith]

Yessss!

Well done, Mess-head.

[Crunchyfrog]

I was going to suggest the Devil, but Z and Lordy pretty much got that one covered! Made me giggle, this one!

The only alternative I can think of is that it is an angel bunny sent by God to try and screw up his mind so much that he ends up disbelieving what he saw.

It doesn't work, of course. :)

*rubs hands and waits for poll*

[Mephistopheles]

Poll is up! And there were a lot of choices. Thanks for all the input on this one guys! have fun with your vote!

[LordoftheNight]

Is there no option for both the last options to be true?

[Mephistopheles]

okay, you totally confused me there lordy. the two have separate results, separate plot options. so, there is NO option for both to be true.

[The White Blacksmith]

But surely the Bunny Devil is under the command of Satan himself anyway?

[Guest]

Go Bunny Devil!

[NeverNeverGirl]

i voted messing with head archangel...

i think a lot could come from this storyline....

loving it :D

[Cyberworm]

Let's meet the bunny devil then :grin: . I'm dying to see that one. :D

[Hak]

Nice..... demon bunny...... :lol:

[Lebrenth]

A devil bunny seems very sensible. I think I'll go for that one.

Love the brisk style, Meph... Or should I call you Messy? That's a good one.