City of IF

[Mephistopheles]

Rated 'NR17' for strong innuendo, graphic material, and questionable content.




Thumper passed through the gates. What he had thought to be clouds billowing around them was merely a fog that ended right as he passed through. “Wow, that is pretty neat,” thought Thumper. He hopped along, wondering all the while how like his meadow Heaven appeared to be. There were animals everywhere. At least two of every kind! Thumper was dumbstruck by all the varieties.

“What the…? How come I’ve stopped moving!” Thumper kicked his legs with all his might, but his feet couldn’t even touch the ground. There before him stood a great dinosaur. His member had grown so large that he was suspended over it. His small bunny weight wouldn’t even let him fall over onto his back.

“My, my, my, what have we got here?” The dinosaur sauntered up to Thumper, eyeing his straining tool greedily. “Just a sec sweetheart, and we will see what I can do to help you with that.” Her speech flew around Thumper, blowing back his fur as if a strong breeze had just flowed past. She batted her eye lids and then raised a huge paw to push Thumper over with. He felt her move him, but it was oddly different than he had expected.

Where he had thought that he would be crushed, his life forced out of him, he experienced nothing but a slight tingle. What was up with that? He opened his eyes again, just in time to see the sun blocked by the enormous backside of the Dino as she squatted onto him. He felt yet another tingle along his member, but it was nothing to what he experienced before coming here. He watched the sky, the corona of the sun around the dinosaur’s huge body as she moved up and down. After what seemed years, she stood back up.

“Thanks love. Oh, and welcome to heaven, by the way. So much harder for the guys to get off here. Heaven is such a perfect place. Taataa!” With these words the dinosaur sauntered off. Thumpers member gradually shrunk, till he was left with nothing. He lay on the ground, staring at the deep blueness of the sky. “That was…never again…no…please…not like that…do I have the right place?”

After several minutes of trying to force the image of dinosaur butt out of his memory, Thumper gained his feet. He carefully looked around for anything bigger than a hippo before setting off. His neck constantly popped as he searched this way and that for a beast so large that it would incapacitate him. Several does spotted him, and their giggling followed him as his tool played the accordion, shrinking and growing as if it couldn’t decide who to go after. “Where am I supposed to be going?” thought Thumper.

No sooner had he thought these words than a small, rather dirty looking creature popped up before him. “What are you?” Thumper exclaimed, shaking his hips to the side so as to avoid poking the newcomer in the eye.

“I am a Gardener. Who are you? What is wrong with your penis? Was it like that when you were flesh bound?” His questions were cut short as another gritty looking creature, this one with curves that screamed “I love it hard”, and long flowing hair, appeared beside him. Thumper’s tool stretched to enormous size.

“Our Lord be with us Lucy. Would ya look at the size of that?” Lucy was indeed looking, a hungry gleam in her eyes, some drool pooling in the corners of her luscious lips. She licked her mouth, slowly, her eyes never leaving Thumper’s endowment.

“What is your name, bunny?”

“I’m Thumper.” He leaned closer to her. Whispering, so that only she could hear him, he said, “I take it ‘Loosey’ isn’t really your name?”

Her hand snapped out faster than lightning seeking a ground, leaving Thumper striving to keep his balance. He failed when his member struck the ground, sending him flipping up in the air, arse over tea-kettle. Thumper put his paw to his stinging cheek. Red blood and loose hairs were evident as he looked at it.

“What was that for? I was merely making an observation.”

“You vile little, well, okay, not so little, but vile ignorant bunny! I have sacrificed a lot for those that I work with, trying to bring pleasure to the residents of this hellish heaven. You dare have the audacity to mock me! Fuck you!” She spat at the ground, then abruptly turned. Everything moved in slow motion for Thumper as he watched her wonderful figure twist, the way that her breasts paused before catching the motion of her torso, then the overtravel that happened as they swung wider than her body, then jiggled gently back into place. Thumper licked the drool from his own lips.

“I am so sorry. Can I make it up to you?” He thrust his pelvis out a bit, just as she turned her head towards his voice. The look of pure hatred she shot scathingly at him scared him so much, even his enhanced body part quailed before it. “I didn’t mean, well, yeah, I guess that I did, but, I, ….shit.”

“Lucy, we can use him. Don’t go just yet.” The first figure to appear leaned closer, whispering in her ears. She shot Thumper venomous looks every now and then, but suddenly she smiled. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Thumper was so struck by her beautiful, perfect teeth that he didn’t notice it. She nodded her head, then faced Thumper again.

“There is something you can do. Thumper was it? Yes, you will work perfectly. Seize him!”

Suddenly, half a dozen of the little gnomish people grabbed Thumper, forcing him to the ground. His eyes were covered, as was his mouth. He was scared. “What are they going to do to me?” Suddenly, he felt hands opening his member. A jolt of that tingling feeling grabbed him. Then he felt something sliding inside his penis! After several minutes, he was released. He sat up, his bunny hood quivering and tingling all up and down it.

“What have you done to me!” Thumper shouted.

“Well, you offered to make amends for your impertinence right? You are our ‘mule’ now. You do this, and I might forgive you.” Lucy had her hands on Thumpers shoulders.

“Your ‘mule’? I’m a bunny not a mule! Why am I tingling so much?” Thumper stretched forth his little bunny paws as far as he could, wanting to rub his penis, but he couldn’t reach it. Some of the other gnomes began to snicker.

“What do you mean, it is tingling? You shouldn’t…” Comprehension dawned in Lucy’s eyes. The other gnomes became silent as one. “Oh, don’t worry about it Thumper, it will be over with soon enough. What you have to do is carry what we put into your fabulous hiding area to a certain place, and then, we will remove what we put in there, kay? I tell you what, I will accompany you, just to be sure that the, umm, stuff doesn’t accidentally go inside you, kay.”

Thumper stood there with a dumb look, his paws twitching with desire to itch his johnson, refusing to let the others see him try again though.

“Inside me, where inside me…oh. Oi! What have you done to me?” Thumper’s face became a mask of horror, thoughts of very unpleasant things inside him filling his mind.

“Okay, Thumper, I am trusting you okay? We grow an herb, right? Now, God did say , ‘Behold I have given ye every herb bearing seed, something, something, something, to you shall it be meat.’ Well, this herb, when we process it just right, can make us feel again!” She said this with great enthusiasm, yet Thumper still looked dumbstruck.

“Thumper, we just shoved several ki’s of refined powder inside your penis. You should be feeling a LOT of discomfort right now. But this is Heaven. We don’t feel here. Everything is perfect. Not all of us agree though. There are a lot here that want to feel again. What you are carrying helps out with that. If I gave you some now…well, the pain might kill you,” she chuckled a little. “Well, it, wouldn’t kill you, but you would want it to, trust me. I will demonstrate later, kay.”

Thumper was still stuck on trying to figure out what a key was. Lucy noticed that Thumper was glassy eyed. And staring at her chest. “Thumper, come along, and I will treat you very well.”

Thumper shook his head. “Oh, okay then. What is a key?”

“A measurement of mass, now, come, let us go now.” She held out her hand, and Thumper placed his fuzzy paw within it. They walked for a bit, not saying anything. Thumper kept glancing over at Lucy, then staring forwards quickly before her eyes could meet his. ‘She has such beautiful violet eyes,” Thumper thought.

“What is on you mind Thumper?”

“Well, Lucy, you are so, um, tiny. Why am I so…huge?” Thumper couldn’t look at her. He attempted to move as far away as he could without letting go of her hand. He couldn’t bring himself to relinquish the feel of her, yet he didn’t want to present the same target for her to strike again either.

“I volunteered to do a lot of the testing, make sure that the other species’ got the same results as us gnomes. Hey, I enjoyed it. It was nothing really, but that Triceratops, well, I just haven’t been the same after that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Thumper moved closer, until his shoulder was brushing against hers.

“Well, it is okay Thumper. With you here now, things might even be great. Oops, here comes Michael. Act normal, and don’t say anything stupid.” There was a pause. “Don’t say anything but hello.”

“Okay.” Thumper watched as the tall, brilliant figure came closer. His hair was brown and curly, cut to shoulder length. His smile was large, his lips the deepest red. His white robes seemed to glow with their pureness. Thumper was suddenly overcome with the most peaceful feeling. He could remain in the man’s presence for eternity, and never worry again.

“What are you doing out and about Lucy? And what the…you got a permit for that thing there, no, don’t face me, aim that elsewhere, what the…what’s wrong with you…bunny rabbit?” The voice that issued from his mouth was strong, a bellowing might that threatened to unnerve every fiber of Thumper’s being.

“Hel…hello.” Thumper stammered out. Lucy stepped between them, her robe rubbing against Thumper gently.

“Heya Michael. How things going?”

“Where you going, Lucy, and who is he? Is he even dead? He looks too alive for me. Are you still running that evil powder of yours? I warned you. No more of that!”

“YOU warned me, Michael, not God. This is God’s house. If he sees fit to stop what I am doing, then I will. You can’t do anything to me. Besides, I don’t have any anyways. I stopped because I felt like it.” Lucy gave Michael an impudent stare, daring him to say otherwise.

“Do you want another cavity search Lucy? Liked it last time, didn’t you?”

“Pfft, whatever. Like your arm is that big anyways. If you must know, I was taking my new friend to my place. Is that okay?”

“I don’t see why you persist in pursing pleasures that are better left for the living Lucy. That was the whole point of earth. To learn to abstain from pleasure so that you could live eternity in peace with God in his house. You had a pure enough soul to get here. Why can’t you give up that one thing?”

“I like to get dirty, Michael. Maybe you should give it a try sometime.” She wiggled her hips slightly. Thumper moaned ever so gently.

Michael looked at Thumper, then allowed his eyes to follow the direction of Thumper’s pointer. The image was very suggestive. “Maybe I could watch while you and bunny-zilla get it on?”

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“What are you doing Bdevil? Why are you talking to that bunny on earth? What are you even doing there? I told you to stop visiting there. You have done enough damage to my children already, so just..”

“I have done enough, Father? What have you done? You, who has created edicts so open to suggestion that one sect reads your stories and kills for glory in the afterlife, while another reads them and kills in your name, to spread your glory? Another interprets your words and believes not the sacrifice that you have made. You got ‘em so confused they don’t even know what day is SUNday. Don’t speak to me of what I have done.”

“I…” God looked at his son, the anger slowly ebbing away. “You’re right. I have done a poor job. Maybe I should wipe them all out. Start over again.”

“No! Father, don’t be so hasty. They may get it right yet. I just wish that you would understand that everyone wants to feel like you do. You don’t want us to feel pain, fine, whatever, I can deal with that, but Dad, when I get freaky with another of your children, I want to feel it man. You and Mom get to enjoy it. Why can’t we?”

“I don’t want to see you get hurt. If you can’t feel pleasure, then you won’t know pain Bdevil. I am tired of this conversation. Ever since you were born, the same old, how come this dad, how come that dad? You know what it is like to see your son masturbating at three years old? I was shocked! Jesus never did that stuff.”

“Oh, here we go again. The same old, ‘your brother is so perfect, Bdevil, why can’t you be more like him?’ arguments. I am not my brother Father! I refuse to be a prude.”

“And that is why you remain here, Bdevil, forever to suffer pain, at the cost of pleasure.” God turned his back on his son. He stood in his living room again. He grieved for a moment, for the loss of his second born. Sure, he had trillions of kids now, but the first two? Those were the special ones. ‘Oh well. Maybe I can find Mother and we can talk like we did in the old days. Naw, maybe we can get it on.’ With that thought, God rushed out of the kitchen and out into the garden. “Now, where is that old woman?’



okay, so, do we let Michael play the perverse voyuer? or something else you want to all see? any ideas as to where Mother is? Anything you want to suggest, toss it out here for us.

[DELETED]

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[Chinaren]

tosses... Oh, you didn't mean that.

~Pauses a moment~

Er. I would say Mrs. God is in the vegetable house, pleasuring herself with cucumbers. Note I said cucumbers, plural. ;)

[D-Lotus]

Michael can watch, but no videos.

[Crunchyfrog]

Maybe Mother is in the kitchen, desperately trying to concoct some kind of aphrodisiac.

[Cyberworm]

I'd say Michael videotapes it and puts it on the heavenet. (heaven's internet) :shock:

[Mephistopheles]

Poll is up! Have fun with 'er!

[Bill Board]

You are all unique...

You all have talents...

You all have beliefs...

You all will make history...




The revolution is now.

Posted by kind permission of Mephistopheles