City of IF

[Kirranna]

Prologue

Eighty years ago when South City was growing so quickly that the lumber mills were unable to fill all their orders, the Pack’s leader met with the Mayor and made a deal. The Pack would keep Those of Darkness in check in return for the city’s guarantee that any sightings of overly-large wolves were hushed as well as any crime scene involving a werewolf is well covered up.

And for eighty years the Pack had kept the goblins, trolls, demons and vampires at bay. South City had been rather safe thanks to their efforts. But the labors of one pack, though it was abnormally large, couldn’t keep what was bubbling under the surface, waiting to burst from the darkest depths, from taking South City with claw, wing, and fang.

[Christalnightshade]

I like this. Even if it is short. I'll be waiting for the first chapter. :D

[Cyberworm]

*nods*

*sits and waits for the first chapter*

[The White Blacksmith]

*nods*

*pushes Cy out of the way, sits and waits for the next chapter*

[Mattheus]

Haven't been here long enough to push others out of the way, but I too am going to sit and wait for the next chapter :D

[Kirranna]

WARNING: This chapter contains the use of alcohol and mild sexual content!

CHAPTER 1: A Blind Date Gone Very Wrong

“No, Mez! I told Arugo that I needed this night off. I’m not going on the raid no matter how much you beg me.” A shapely but well muscled young woman threw on her jacket as she trotted down the family’s stairs. Her thick brown hair waved behind her as her quick passage moved the air.

A young and lanky man was right behind her, so close that he caught a few strands of her lily scented hair in his mouth, “But Kir--" She twirled around swiftly making him have to grab hold of her to keep from making both of them fall over. He saw the fury in her eyes and was surprised she hadn’t Shifted, but he had to try. “Please Kir?” he whined.

She rolled her eyes and kept them away from his. “No, not the puppy eyes Mez. Oh come on, stop it.” She shook his hands off her arms and stood her ground. “No, I’m going and that’s final.”

“But who’s gonna watch out for me?”

Kirra definitely didn’t let that bother her, “You’re a big boy Mez,” She put the fingers of her right hand behind over his ear and scratched him gently, “I’ve looked out for you long enough. You need to learn how to get by with out me watching your every move.”

His eyes had closed at her finger’s attention and when she finished speaking and pulled her hand away he huffed a sigh in defeat. “Fine, but the team won’t be as well manned with out you.” Kirra smiled as she pulled her purse straps onto her shoulder.

“I think you guys will be okay with out me for one night.” And with that she was out the door and walking down the street, away from the family’s large townhouse. She raised her hand as an empty taxi approached. It pulled to the curb and she opened the door. She sniffed, no alarming scents were apparent so she got in and told the driver her destination: Club Lunar.

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Adam O’Neill waited patiently at the bar. Well as patiently as he could. He tapped his fingers on his knees, checked his watch and wondered if he had arrived too early.

She had said that she might be late. He reassured himself. And once again he questioned the sanity of blind dates, especially ones set up via the internet. But I agreed, ‘Sure I can meet you for a beer or two,’ what a joke. This place isn’t the kinda place you just to have a beer. All around Adam were people in dark clothes sipping various alcoholic drinks in a huge room with a dome ceiling. The impressive part about the ceiling, and what gave the club its name, was that it was a starry night sky with a large moon that rotated slowly through the night. He was surprised to learn from the Bartender that the moon was actually adjusted regularly to account for the actual moon’s change in shape.

Tonight it was a half moon and Adam stared at it as he thought of how out of place he looked. His white button-up collared shirt with a dark brown blazer above kaki slacks stood out against the shadowy figures passing him by. His grey eyes now followed the people around him, searching for the millionth time. Then he saw her.

At least he thought it was her. Her eyes were unwavering as she made her way through the throng. Those, eyes. Adam had been struck speechless by the eyes he had seen looking back at him from a picture she had emailed him. Such startling sky blue eyes, they were two bits of glacial ice upon the warm, tan color of her skin.

In the picture she had been in shorts a t-shirt and sneakers leaning against a railing in Circle Park, attractive due to the simplicity of the shot. But tonight, tonight she was sexy. She was wearing a silky silver halter top that hung loosely and low between her breasts above well fitted low rise jeans with a decorative silver belt skewed slightly on her hips. A pair of flashy dangling earrings drew attention to the satisfying length of her neck. On both of her wrists were over-large metallic hoop bracelets that jangled when she moved her hands, sliding up and down her forearm.

The slight pout of her lips was missing, he realized as she got closer, and instead her lips revealed a set of bright straight teeth, what a smile. He stood as she reached him and awkwardly tried to find a place for his hands and settled with hooking his thumbs in his pants’ pockets.

“Adam O’Neill?”

Her voice was warm and smooth, like, well like lots of things that he could imagine but wasn't going to say out loud. “Yeah, Kirranna Nuru?”

Her smile widened and she stepped forward, “Its good to finally meet you,” she gripped his jacket as she leaned forward and kissed his left cheek, “face to,” she kissed his right cheek, “face,” and stepped back. Automatically Adam’s arms had moved around her waist and he found them still there, along with her hands still being on his chest, after she had stepped away.

“Yeah, its good,” he replied awkwardly. She bore her teeth once again in a dazzling smile and broke their link by moving to the bar. He followed and sat next to her on a stool.

“What’ll you have?” the bartender asked.

“The usual starter Sam, you know the drill.” Kirra responded easily. Adam raised a brow in question and she grinned in embarrassment. “I come here pretty often and Sam and I have a deal. I tip him extra big as long as he doesn’t give me more than three drinks.”

“Why the limit?” he asked innocently. Kirra looked at him sharply, almost like she was surprised but her expression changed quickly and she shrugged.

“I’m not the best company past three drinks that’s all. The alcohol goes straight to my stomach then right back up.” she explained. Adam nodded his head in a ‘Ah I see’ way and didn’t ask any more about it.

After Kirra’s second drink, and a bit of casual small talk, she insisted they go to the dance floor. Adam agreed that this was a good idea. And so she pulled him through the masses and onto a lovely dark wood dance floor.

The music played at Club Lunar was mostly the kind of music you’d hear at any late night club. A solid beat, and a fast harmony, in a sort of Techno or Rock Opera style blasted from the speakers. Adam wasn’t necessarily the best dancer in the world, but at least he had rhythm. He and Kirra moved to the beat of the music, smiling and laughing when either of them ran into another person because of the way everyone was compacted together. Eventually though Kirra pulled him free of the throng and announced her desire for her last drink.

“You’re just full of wonderful ideas!” Adam replied playfully as they made their way to the bar and plopped into their seats, out of breath and smiling.

“Well, thanks, I’m glad you think so, cuz I might have few more floating around up here,” and she leisurely pointed to her head, “before the night is through.”

He grinned at the mischievous look on her face and took a swig of his drink. “So you live on this side of town?”

She nodded in answer as she finished swallowing. “Yep, I live up here in the North part of South City, but more towards the Eastern side.”

Adam raised a brow at this, as most of the people that lived there were the well off folk of the city who refused to live in the giant houses they could easily afford, but instead stuck to the smaller residences of their home towns. “Cool, and do you like living here? I mean I just moved here a year or so ago and I still find myself trying to get my bearings. It’s a big city.”

Kirra nodded, “Yep, it’s big. But I don’t want to talk about this right now,” she finished off her drink, “lets go dance some more.” She hopped up and began pulling him away, making him have to gulp the rest of his drink down.

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Kirra almost couldn’t believe he had agreed. She had thought Adam to be a bit more morally sound, but she wasn’t complaining. She was getting what she wanted and he seemed happy with the idea as well.

“Are we almost there?” She whispered between kisses. She was pretty much sitting in his lap in the back of a cab. He glanced out the window quickly.

“Almost.” he said breathlessly. She almost felt bad, she really did like this guy, but in a few weeks she would dump him for another unwitting sap who could give her a good time. Kirra bit his neck and nibbled his ear drawing a moan out of him. The cab driver glanced at the rear view mirror and shook his head in amusement.

Once they had reached his apartment building Adam made to pay the fair but Kirra threw him a hundred and told him to keep the change.

“Didn’t want you wasting time digging around for change.” The desire in her icy blue eyes rendered him speechless and he just nodded before he lead her up to his apartment. When he fumbled with his keys she almost whined for him to hurry but she held back, she had time.

Once inside she threw her purse to the side and latched onto him, her lips were fierce and passionate and the intensity of it almost made Adam fall over. But he returned her fervent desire with his own and he soon had her moaning as he kissed, nibbled, and groped her in return.

She began unbuttoning his shirt, and he watched how her chest rose and fell with every excited breath. Her eyes flicked up to his every second or so until she had finally finished and pulled his shirt off of him.

Then she heard a buzzing sound and the ring tone of her cell phone. She growled softly in annoyance and looked Adam straight in the eye.

“Stay,” and she rushed to her purse and looked at the caller. It was Mez. “Ugh!” she turned her cell phone off and tossed it back in her purse and then returned to Adam. “Sorry my brother’s being a jerk. I turned it off. No more interruptions.”

He pulled her close and grinned. “Good.”

They then proceeded to remove each other’s clothes as quickly as possible, each breathing heavily with desire. Kirra already knew that some of the bites she had given his shoulders and neck would bruise but she knew that there was hours of the night to fill and she didn’t plan on cutting her play time short. But something changed that decision. She heard a howl in the distance and knew it to be one of the members of her raiding party.

She clenched her teeth and Adam saw her eyes flash brightly. She looked through the window from his bed and knew she had to leave.

“I have to go.”

“What…? Why, I thought--”

“Well I’m sorry, but I have to go.” And with that she sprung from his bed opened the window and jumped onto the fire escape.

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Four hours later around two o’clock in the morning Adam was still in his bed, laying on his side, staring at the open window. A few moments after Kirranna had rushed out, and he had recovered from the shock of her departure and the realization that he was very much unfulfilled, he went to the window and looked up and down the fire escape. No one was there. He glanced up and down the road. He saw nothing.

He had turned around, still unsure the whole experience hadn’t been a dream until he saw her clothes strewn around his bedroom. He turned on his back and stared at the ceiling, seeing if it had more answers than the window did.

“What the hell is the girl doing, running naked outside on such a cold night?” he closed his eyes, “What am I saying? What is she doing outside naked at all?”

He had finally come to the decision that the woman he had almost slept with was insane and that he would just keep her clothes and purse in a nice pile on his kitchen table for her to retrieve when she decided she needed them. After he had put those things on the table and closed the window he went back to bed and willed himself to sleep.

And just as he was dropping off into a land where he could dream that Kirra had stayed, and finished what they had started, he heard a horrible scratching noise at his window.

He sat straight up and looked towards his window. Outside on the fire escape was a collapsed and bloody Kirra. He rushed to the window and opened it with every intention of pulling her inside but what he saw frightened him beyond measure. Kirra’s torso, arms and head looked human, and her legs had human shape but they were covered in hair, and she had a canine like tail sprouting from the lowest point of her back.

His mind was telling him to pull her inside but his gut was telling him he would regret it.

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So what should Adam do? Pull her in and try and patch her up? Pull her in and tie her up? Close the curtains to his window and leave her outside?

[Cyberworm]

I say he goes against his guts. Who knows, maybe he gets some merit from her. ;)

[Kalanna Rai]

Pull her inside. Afterall, she did bite him a bit and he's got to be wondering about that now...

[Papa Bear]

Pull her in and patch her up in my opinion, seems the logical way to continue.

[Mephistopheles]

nice style Kirranna. i found this very pleasant and easy to read.

Pull her in and try to help her out. I mean, she was hot when they first met, so, what difference does it make if she is a little more hairy and has a tail now? That would at least merit getting rid of that unsatisfied feeling, saving her that is.

[Masterweaver]

That depends on wether weres are commen knowledge. If it is, just shout "God luck!" or something. If not, follow the girl and see what happens.

Well done. Normally I would loathe sex scenes, but you managed to gloss over it without glossing over it.

[Player of Fates]

Pull her in of course, but perhaps something unexpected decides to join the two part group as he hustles her through the window.

[Kirranna]

Okay, so the suggestions I have so far are these:

--Pull her in, maybe she'll thank him later ;)
--Pull her in, he's got to be wondering about the bite marks she left on him now.
--Pull her in, but perhaps something unexpected joins them as he does so.

These are all great, But lets keep 'm coming!

[Masterweaver]

Kirranna, generally you list ALL the options, as follows:

--Pull her in, maybe she'll thank him later
--Pull her in, he's got to be wondering about the bite marks she left on him now.
--Pull her in, but perhaps something unexpected joins them as he does so.
--Pull her in and patche her up
--Wish her luck and let it be
--Stealthily follow her

[Kirranna]

Sorry about that MW, its just that the "pull her in and patch her up" in my opinion falls under the first option. And the last two aren't really applicable. The first one cuz Werewolves aren't common knowledge so he wouldn't really do that. And the second one because she is unconscious and won't be getting up any time soon, plus if she had anywhere else to go, don't you think she would have gone there instead?

I'll include them if I have to, but they don't really follow the general rules of the world that is South City.

[Masterweaver]

Where does it say she's unconcious? I see Collapsed and Bloody. Unless you use a word like SPRAWLED, i assume she's just on the ground and will get up.

[Kirranna]

Okay guys, here's the poll! Have fun deciding if Adam is a good person or not ;)

[Kirranna]

Alright, poll's closed. I'll be posting the new chappy in the next day or so!

-Pull her in, maybe she'll thank him later ;) 20% [ 1 ]
-Pull her in, he's got to be wondering about the bite marks she left on him now. 20% [ 1 ]
-Pull her in, but perhaps something unexpected joins them as he does so. 40% [ 2 ]
-Pull her in and patch her up 0% [ 0 ]
-Wish her luck and leave her there. 0% [ 0 ]
-Stealthily follow her, once or if she even leaves 20% [ 1 ]

Total Votes : 5

Who Voted: Cyberworm, Kalanna Rai, Masterweaver, Mephistopheles, The White Blacksmith

[The Meaning Of Fear]

Oh, damn! I missed the poll.

Looking foward to the next chapter anyway.

[Kirranna]

WARNING: Some adult language, violence, and consumption of alcohol.

CHAPTER 2- Gremlins: Disgusting little Bastards

He decided to pull her in. Grabbing her under her arms he hauled her into his room. She suddenly cried out in pain, Adam looked outside to find something latched onto her foot, trying to pull her back.

He couldn’t tell what it was, but it was obviously not friendly. He tugged her towards him, using his legs against the wall to add more strength to his pull. He heard scratching noises and the resistance quickly decreased as the creature lost its footing. And in a second all three of them had fallen or been flung into his room.

Kirra was fully unconscious by now and lay sprawled on top of Adam. He pushed her dead weight off and got up as quickly as he could. Across the room there were sounds of movement and grunts of frustration. Adam grabbed the lamp off the nightstand next to him, tossed the top part off and wielded it like a bat.

He made his way slowly around his bed, trying not to startle whatever it was that had latched onto Kirra. When he had gotten about five or six feet away from where the thing had hit his wall and fallen, Adam stopped. Before he even was close enough to see the thing he smelled the awful sewage stench that surrounded it. It was tangled up in a giant pile of computer and power cords that Adam had yet to deal with even though he had moved in a year ago. Looking closer he got a better idea of what the thing looked like.

It was a small dark green, almost black, colored creature. It had arms and legs, a body and head, but it was incredibly disproportioned. Its head and body were about the same size, with short spindly little arms and legs sticking out of it. It was covered in a thick dark hair and had sharp claws on its hands and feet.

Then Kirra moaned loudly, making the little creature turn towards the sound, and consequently Adam. It had large yellow eyes that took up a third of its face, the rest was taken up by a wide mouth, and Adam quickly understood why.

When it saw him it opened that wide maw to reveal long, sharp, and jagged teeth. It made a sort of growling noise, which sounded to Adam like a dying cat, to try and scare him away. But Adam wouldn’t have it and when the little creature realized he wasn’t turning away it increased its efforts to untangle itself.

Adam raised his lamp like an ax and brought the bulb end down onto the thing’s head. It’s movements ceased and he waited a moment or two to see if they started up again. It didn’t so he dragged the mess of cables across his apartment to the coat closet where he pulled out a large metal and leather trunk. It had been a gift from his dad before he had moved out.

He chucked the mass of cords plus little monster into it and locked it securely. Once this was done he stood up huffed a sigh of relief and returned back to his room to deal with Kirranna and close and lock the window.

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After he had carried her into his bathroom, figured out how he was going to wash her in his shower, and finally washed off all the dirt and rocks from her body, he realized that many of her wounds were already healing, though the more recent bite from the little creature was still bleeding freely. He wrapped this up with some bandages he had in his med-kit, something his mom had bought for him for his birthday when she had the sudden realization that if he was injured while not at her home he wouldn’t know what to do to patch himself up. She had made him promise to read the ‘safety manual’ that the kit had come with. And now, he was glad he had.

Once he had wrapped her up in his oversized bathrobe he laid her down in his bed. Pulling the covers up around her he let himself actually look at her as the girl he had danced the night away with, and not as the half woman half dog that had scratched at his window.

She looked just as beautiful as he remembered, if you ignored the scratches on her cheeks that were, strangely, almost healed. Her long lashes quivered now and again as she laid there in her unconscious state. He noticed that her breathing had calmed and was more similar to the rhythm of sleep. He moved some of her hair out of her face before leaving the room to try and get some sleep on the couch.

When he had returned two hours later, after much tossing and turning, to check on her she was as he had left her. He was relieved by this and pulled down the covers to look at the bite in her foot. He unraveled the bandage to find no trace of such an injury on her skin. All that proved that her skin had been broken was the dried blood on the bandage. He also noticed that the lower half of her body had returned to its normal, human appearance of smooth soft skin.

His brows furrowed at the healed wound though and he moved up to her chest where he carefully undid the tie of the robe and pulled the shoulder and sleeve down to find that the wound where the bullet had nicked her didn’t seem to have existed at all. He looked at the other side of her neck where one of the sets of four scratches had been and touched the unmarred skin, and jumped when he felt a strong grip on his wrist.

“That tickles…”

“Kirra? Kirranna!” Adam looked at her face. She had a rather sour expression for such beautiful features.

“What?” She grumbled loudly as she pushed him away as she tried to get up.

“You were, out there,” he pointed toward his window, “then there was this thing on your foot and we all fell inside and then I hit it with a lamp.” She squinted at him with those ice-blue eyes.

“You don’t say?” she replied huskily. And without another word she got herself out of the bed, tied the robe securely around her while eyeing Adam lazily, before heading straight for his kitchen. He stood there next to his bed, astounded at what just happened before he hurried after her.

“W-wait a minute there Kirra. What the hell happened earlier? An-and how the hell are you up and walking after all that?”

“Where’s the meat in this place?” She hollered as she stuck her head into his fridge, coolly ignoring his questions, “Don’t tell me it’s frozen, or worse that you don’t have any.” She stood back up and opened the freezer and peered in. Adam reached the kitchen and was startled by her next comment.

“Damn it!” she swore loudly as she pulled out a rather freezer burnt, plastic wrapped hunk of steak that Adam had thrown in there a few weeks ago. “Ah well, better than nothing, though you’ll have to go get me some more once I’ve had this.”

Adam just starred in wonder as this girl he had worried would bleed to death not but three hours earlier was now walking around his kitchen grumbling about how anybody could live with so little food in their house. Finally he shook himself out of it and maneuvered himself into the small kitchen.

“Here, let me do it.” He replied in an annoyed tone. She let him take the unwrapped meat from her and watched as he put it in the microwave to thaw.

“That’s gonna take forever,” she whined.

“Would you rather I let it thaw out at room temp?” he replied testily. She glared in response and sulked out of the kitchen into the living room, where she plopped onto the couch. He tidied up the kitchen while he waited for the meat to thaw.

“So, what was that thing on your foot?” He asked loudly so she would hear him. Kirra didn’t respond right away.

“What thing?” she asked, almost as if she wanted to just brush off his question. He described the creature that had gnawed on her foot and what he had done about it. “Ooooh,” she replied as he came into the living room with two glasses of red wine in his hands, “That sounds like a gremlin.”

“A gremlin?” he wasn’t convinced, “those mythical monsters that are known to cause mischief and chaos where ever they go? I thought those were made up to keep kids in there beds at night and off the streets.” He handed her one of the glasses.

Kirra looked silently at him with a ‘why the hell would I make this shit up’ look. He raised a brow as well as his glass as he nodded his head once in defeat. There was an awkward silence, well awkward to Adam, as they sat there on the couch together sipping at the only beverage in his apartment.

“They’re scavengers,” she continued. Adam had been trying to look anywhere but at his guest but the haunted sound of her voice drew his eyes to her. “They live in the dark places, alleys, sewers, abandoned houses. They come out at night and break things, eat what they can find, no matter if it’s living or dead just as long as it is easy to catch.” She looked at the trunk that held the vile little creature. “They feed on our fallen if we don’t retrieve them right away.” She seemed to come out of it because she tossed what was left in her glass down her throat and wiped her mouth with her sleeve, “Disgusting little bastards.”

Right then the microwave beeped and he jumped up to check on its contents. He sighed when he realized it wasn’t done thawing out and returned to the living room with the bottle of wine in his hand. He made to pour more into her glass but pulled it back.

“You need to tell me what is going on.” He looked straight into her icy eyes. “What have you gotten me into?” She sighed in defeat and nodded. He filled her glass. There wasn’t even a smirk of victory on his face when he seated himself back on his couch, lounging so that he could look at her more directly.

He watched her slowly sip at her glass. Her eyes showed the thoughts that swirled around in her head as her brow furrowed in contemplation. She was obviously at a loss for where to start.

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She had no idea where to start. How am I supposed to explain almost a hundred years worth of hostility to this human? Well he was right he, did deserve an explanation of some sort. But from what point on? She finally decided to just try and explain it without too much detail, if that was possible.

“For about eighty years now, my family, my Pack has been protecting humans from the evils of the underworld. My fellow werewolves and I,” and at this she saw one of his eyebrows raise but he didn’t comment as he must have guessed at what she was, he wasn't stupid, “have roamed these streets keeping monsters,” she gestured towards the trunk, “like that and worse from taking over the city.

“I myself am actually one of the Pack’s Captains. I have my own team of Wolves that I lead in raids and such sorts of things. And by raiding I mean that we attack an infestation of ‘monsters’ as it were and eliminate them.”

“So you’re like a bunch of exterminators, in a sense?” He interrupted. Kirra cocked a brow at this but nodded slightly.

“I guess you could see it that way, though its more complicated than that.” She finished off her glass and held it out for more. “You see, lately the infestations have been getting more brutal, more organized in their defenses. Tonight I was supposed to lead my team in an attack on one of the larger infestations.” Her eyes drew away from the present as she recalled what had happened, the guilt resurfacing.

“When I heard that howl, I knew something was wrong. Not to mention I recognized it as one of my team members'. As surprising as it may seem we try not to be too vocal, unless completely necessary, so as not to raise more suspicion about our presence here. Any way, I knew something was wrong so I left to help. The only problem was that once I had reached the location of the infestation, everyone was….gone.” She paused as tears flowed down her round cheeks. Adam wanted to comfort her but he didn’t think that the wisest thing to do at the moment.

“And I don’t mean disappeared,” she continued, “I mean that they had been… ripped to shreds, literally. All around there was blood and fur and bone and guts. I tried to find anyone, someone who might have survived, but there was nothing distinguishable, nothing that showed any sign of any of my team surviving.” She downed her third glass.

“Of course that’s when they attacked me. It had been another werewolf, one not of my team. We fought a bit, but I knew I wasn’t going to win if I didn’t do something quick so I took a risk and grabbing a gun from the debris I shot him twice…in the head. It didn’t kill him but it gave me time to make my escape.” She twirled the glass between her fingers then flipped it so she was grasping it again.

“What I didn’t expect though,” Her fingers stretched around the glass, “was to be ambushed at a safe house. Eight of those filthy things attacked me, eight!” There was a crunching sound as she broke the glass in her hand. She opened her clenched fingers and stared at the bloody bits of glass embedded in her skin. She watched as her skin rejected the glass and slowly pushed the intruding pieces out of her cuts. “That one must have followed me.” She looked at Adam for the first time since she had begun.

“I had no where else to go. I couldn’t go to any of the other safe houses; they could have been compromised too.” She suddenly banged her unscathed hand into the cushions in frustration. “I should have been there! I should have stayed and gone with them!” Now she began to truly cry, her sobs wracked her body as tears flowed from her eyes' glacial.

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Adam couldn’t hold himself back any longer, he was a sucker for crying women, he couldn’t help it. Everything in him screamed to comfort her, make her feel safe and protected. He leaned towards her and reached his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. He let her sob herself out, though he also tried to get her to calm down when her breathing got too spastic.

“Shhhh, Kir. Shhhhh, don’t say that. Shhhh.” He held her, petting her hair and murmuring consolations. He couldn’t believe he was comforting a creature, woman, who was probably ten times stronger than he would ever be. He could have laughed at the irony if he wasn’t in such a sensitive mood.

When she had finally reasonably calmed down he pulled her face from his chest and looked her in the eyes. Those beautiful ice-blue eyes were red rimmed and puffy, her nose was pink and runny, her lips quivered with each emotion filled breath. Even then he found himself wanting to take her into his arms, kiss her, comfort her, make love to her until she was so exhausted she would fall into a dreamless asleep. But he restrained that urge.

“Kirra, look at me.” Her eyes slowly found his, “listen to me Kirra. You need to stop thinking that.” She gasped raggedly as the guilt filled her mind anew but he wouldn't let her fall back into those dark depths, “Kirra! Stop it! Kirra, if you had been there you would have died too! And what good would that do you!?” She sniffled pathetically and made an effort to calm her breathing. His voice softened.

“Nothing, it would do nothing to help you find out what really happened and who was behind it.” She blinked and appeared more coherent, then nodded. Pulling back she wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself. She seemed to blush slightly at the giant wet spot on his shirt. He shrugged it off, “Even werewolves need to be human sometimes it seems.”

She smiled weakly and then frowned at the glass all around her. “Oh man, I’m sorry Adam.”

He shrugged this off as well. “No worries,” he assured her as he got up to attend to her micro-waved dinner, “they’re only a set that's been handed down in my family, no biggy.” Her eyes got huge at this but he quickly stuck his head out of he kitchen and grinned, “Just kidding, I bought them for ten bucks at a garage sale.”

She gasped in shock but couldn’t deny his smile and humor, so she laughed and satisfied herself with throwing one of the pillows from the couch square into his face. He shook his head to rid it of the shock of the cushioned, but still forceful hit.

“Watch yourself there, you could have poked my eye out!” he hollered at her as he tended to her meal. She rolled her eyes and huffed, but a hint of a grin laced her lips.

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After she had devoured the meat and had another glass of wine Adam could tell she was tired. He gathered the dishes from her and put them in his sink before returning to her, offering his hand. She looked up at him in a questioning way, the alcohol apparent in her slow reflexes and focus.

“You need to get more sleep Kirra.” He said calmly, moving his hand to show he wanted to help her up. She put her hand in his and stood rather clumsily, leaning on him more than she seemed to intend to. She ended up just letting herself fall against him, his strong arms holding up her smaller frame quite easily.

Once again Adam found himself tempted by the situation. Her eyes were barely focused, giving them a dreamy look. Her lips were open just barely, teasingly. She leaned her head closer to his and waited for him to complete the distance between them. He swallowed as he resisted the pull of those lips, lips he knew to be soft and welcoming. She frowned and leaned back slightly.

“What?”

---------------------------
What should Adam do? Should he be considerate and send her to bed with no funny business, she's drunk, C'mon! Or should he ignore morals and finish what had been ended rather abruptly before?

[Crunchyfrog]

Dammit, I'd written out a full blown crit of this, and it logged out on me! I lost the lot!

Basically though, you've got two technical problems that go right through these chapters -

One is that is you are not starting a new line for the next character. Here's one example:

Quote: “Fine, but the team won’t be as well manned with out you.” Kirra smiled as she pulled her purse straps onto her shoulder.

This looks like Kirra is saying this, but it is actually Mez. It should be written:

Quote: "Fine, but the team won't be as well manned without you."

Kirra smiled as she pulled her purse straps onto her shoulder.

Most of your speech and actions are confused in this way. You need to go right through both chapters and sort them out.

The second technicality are the typos that a spell checker is not going to pick up.

Quote: He pushed her dead wait off and got up as quickly as he could should be 'weight'

There are more, but I'll have to go through it again later. You should be able to pick them up yourself once you've read through it again.

Anyway for the DP, it looks to me like she is teasing him, and he should just take the signal and get on with it.

[Mephistopheles]

In an effort to refrain from being so totally me, I suggest that he proceed with allowing her comfort, but, she bites him, (preferably while they are deep into the act of making love), attempting to turn him into another werewolf. She is going to need help now, and hey, he showed that he has a compassionate disposition, and that he is not entirely self centered. Truly he would be a good companion in her quest for vengeance.

The only negative thing that i have to say is that, it doesn't seem that you are truly into this story. It lacks the smoothness of the other stories that you have been working on.

It was still very fun to read though!

[Masterweaver]

I say the gremlin chooses this moment to scream something like, "I know where our operation is based and I can get you there!", thus ruining the potentially romantic moment.

[Papa Bear]

AMG, i totally agree, the gremlin should pop out and ruin the moment.

[Kirranna]

Quote: One is that is you are not starting a new line for the next character.

Hmmm, lets see, I'm confused. When I read the instructions in the newbie section it said you wanted a new paragraph for each time someone new spoke. Are you saying I don't have to start the paragraphs with dialogue, its just when the focus is changing to someone else I must have a new paragraph?

Maybe I misunderstood....

Also, The Gremlins are not so intelligent that they can speak a language humans can understand. They use grunts and stuff to communicate, though they understand the english language. Though I will still consider the creature ruining the moment, I didn't think of that. :)

As for your comment Messy, that would be an interesting twist, we'll see how it turns out. And also, I don't know what to say about the other comment, for somereason I really struggled with this chapter....

[The Meaning Of Fear]

I think the Gremlin is DEAD. So that rules out that option.

I got slightly confused in this chapter. Why did that guy act so calm when she said she was a WEREWOLF? Shouldn't he be at least a bit doubtful, or slightly afraid?

[Masterweaver]

The gremlin was put in the box. Not dead.

[Kirranna]

Well after all that had happened, the gremlin, her being hairy, her skin healing quickly... He's not stupid, and there really isn't a chance for him to freak out-- she has a breakdown.

He'll have a freak out later most likely.

[Syranore]

Just to be contrary, I say something ridiculously out of proportion happens, like a large good vs evil battle erupting in the streets to spoil the moment. Adam should get a chance to save Kirr's life sometime in the middle of it.

[Kirranna]

First off- I think I worked out the issues with the confusing paragraph format, at least I hope so.

Secondly: Here are the options so far-
-- He should just take a hint and "get on with it."
-- Go ahead and "comfort" her but in the middle of it she bites him in an effort to make him a wolf. She needs the help...
-- The Gremlin ruins the moment
-- Something ridiculously out of proportion happens, like a large good vs evil battle erupting in the streets to spoil the moment. Adam should get a chance to save Kirra's life sometime in the middle of it.

And that's that! I'll leave this up another twelve hours or so if anyone else wants to contribute!

[Kalanna Rai]

I'm going to have to go with option 2. He'll never see it coming that way.

[Kirranna]

K guys! Poll's up! There's some interesting choices that I didn't expect for this basic of a DP but I'm excited to see how it turns out!

[Kirranna]

Okay.......so only two of you voted....:(

But anyway, I think I'm gonna try and mix the two options that were voted on and see what happens!

[Crunchyfrog]

Finally got to catching up on stuff... Okay, now I've read it with your adjustments, it is much better!

Kirranna wrote: Quote: One is that is you are not starting a new line for the next character.

Hmmm, lets see, I'm confused. When I read the instructions in the newbie section it said you wanted a new paragraph for each time someone new spoke. Are you saying I don't have to start the paragraphs with dialogue, its just when the focus is changing to someone else I must have a new paragraph?

Maybe I misunderstood....



The bit in the newbie section is correct about putting a new paragraph for each time someone new speaks. But you also have to be careful not to confuse who is actually speaking by muddling the words of one and the actions of another in the same line.

Check out This example

With the above example in mind, look at what you have here...

Quote: His eyes had closed at her finger’s attention and when she finished speaking and pulled her hand away he huffed a sigh in defeat. “Fine, but the team won’t be as well manned with out you.” Kirra smiled as she pulled her purse straps onto her shoulder.

“I think you guys will be okay with out me for one night.” And with that she was out the door and walking down the street,

The first para is still confusing as to who actually says "Fine, but the team won't be as well manned without you."

To leave us in no doubt that it is Mez who says that line, Kirra's actions and speech should follow in her own paragraph.

Quote: His eyes had closed at her finger’s attention and when she finished speaking and pulled her hand away he huffed a sigh in defeat. “Fine, but the team won’t be as well manned with out you.”

Kirra smiled as she pulled her purse straps onto her shoulder. “I think you guys will be okay with out me for one night.” And with that she was out the door and walking down the street, (I would actually add a speaker's tag in the second para, but that's just me.)

Hope this helps. :)

Sorry I missed the vote - have not been able to get on and read much for the past few weeks, and am now just starting to catch up. I would have gone for option 2. Looking forward to seeing the next chapter.

[The Meaning Of Fear]

Oh, crap, missed the poll.

It's kinda obvious who voted for what though. =P