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Avarice - chapter 17. Forest of Stone.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:28 am    Post subject: Avarice - chapter 17. Forest of Stone.  

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Mephistopheles



Joined: 24 May 2007
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Location: Not where I want to be.

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:27 am    Post subject:  

good chapter china.

Smur has that voice to call upon. I say that he suggest everyone go where the necromancer is. Then, once he gets an idea of how things are, he can put the end move into play, or maybe find another way out
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Cyberworm



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
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Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 10:16 am    Post subject:  

Indeed, it was worth it. Let's see... We don't really know if they have the necromancer, so leading them to see him could be an argument. Maybe Smur's suit has a secret pocket that only the devils know about, and Smith can put a small firestick or a blade in it?
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The Meaning Of Fear



Joined: 06 May 2006
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:23 pm    Post subject:  

Try asking for advice from his future self. If his future self appears to have gone mute, then use the "Oh look it's behind you!" trick on Randolf and run for it, hopefully finding his daughter and the "captain"
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
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Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:47 pm    Post subject:  

Quote: Smur thought that sounded a good idea.

missing a 'like'

Quote: The guard, Wills Smith had called him

Was this done on purpose? I noticed two or three other small errors; take another look in order to correct them.

As for the 'voices' in his head, I am rather disappointed. I mean, it's alright for the author to set up the story for the ending, but this is preposterous! Don't be so blatant in your implications!

As for the DP, if Rendolf has captured the necromancer, Smur is dead meat. Of course, Smur could claim what his voice told him, that he himself has the powers of a necromancer. He could prove this by performing a small piece of magic (which he manages to pull off because he has been sufficiently affected by the Blue).

Otherwise, Smur could snatch a firestick from Wills and shoot Rendolf, therefore initiating the conflict without a chance for negotiation. Hopefully, if the other tribesmen see that their leader is dead, they will be submissive to Smur and they won't kill the necromancer.
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Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 2:48 am    Post subject:  

The devils didn't give Smur the gloves, did they? That means he's unarmed. But Rendolf does have Draggon and Alice, and he'll want to see his daughter. Smur should urge the swap, but he and Smith should insist that they see all three of them first.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:51 pm    Post subject:  

Sorry D, I was in a little bit of a rush when I posted this, and didn't give it the going over I usually do with my stories. I'll sit down at some point and work on the small errors.

As for:

Quote: As for the 'voices' in his head, I am rather disappointed. I mean, it's alright for the author to set up the story for the ending, but this is preposterous! Don't be so blatant in your implications!

Who says that these are at the end? I was actually considering doing the Smur future voice in this chapter.

The thing is, an element of time travel has crept into this story, and I'm discovering it's quite hard to manage. The stuff I've put so far was not planned before hand, and now I am trying to give myself opportunities for future stuff. It's not easy though! ;) Your comments are valuable, and we appreciate your patience. You are four hundred and ninth in the queue...
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CunningFox



Joined: 27 Oct 2005
Posts: 210

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:31 pm    Post subject:  

About time this one had a new chapter. Now how about another one of Rise of Shadows?

This is tricky. Maybe he should run, he could lose them in the gloom I think, maybe get the spirit to guide him. Heh.
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:40 pm    Post subject:  

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Chinaren
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:41 pm    Post subject:  

Mmmm. Maybe it was a little un-subtle. I didn't intend to mean it to sound like the spirit had only been waiting for Smur to arrive. Now I read it again, it certainly does sound like that. I'll have to work on that in the rewrite.

Ah well, for now you get what you're given. ;)
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CunningFox
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 11:30 pm    Post subject:  

So we getting a poll or not? Your very slow these days Chinaren.
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Chinaren
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 7:50 pm    Post subject:  

So impatient! ;)

Very well, poll is up. Suckle on the teat of voting.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 9:06 pm    Post subject:  

Woot! The one I voted for is winning!

Although it does help that I'm the first voter. ;)
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Crunchyfrog
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:08 am    Post subject:  

ooh, how did I miss this? Glad to see the vote is still open... :shock:
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Chinaren
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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 7:33 pm    Post subject:  

Okay then. We have a three way tie atm. Anyone care to break it?
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LordoftheNight
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Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 3:44 am    Post subject:  

Poll broken.
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CunningFox
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:29 am    Post subject:  

oh dear. Sprry I tied it again.
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Crowkiller
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:00 am    Post subject:  

Sorry haven't been around for a while but i broke the poll. Great stuff going on cant wait for the next one.
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Chinaren
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:57 pm    Post subject:  

Welcome back Crowk!

I'm hoping to start the next chapter today. However, knowing how busy I've been, I'll leave the poll open just in case.
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Chinaren
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:18 pm    Post subject:  

Finally the next chapter is done. I just have to give it a quick once over and I'll post it.

Thank-you all for playing!
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