City of IF

Novelest_Ninjagirl

Chapter One

Matthew slammed his hand down onto the dash.

"Damn!"

He muttered loudly to himself, sliding out of the go-kart easily. He strode over to Louis, who stood nearby with his laptop balanced on one hand, and the other hand typing in seemingly random numbers. Matthew and Louis were best friends, but sometimes Matthew wanted to strangle that smug smirk off of Louis's face.

"It was the kart."

"Sure it was."

"I didn't steer it into the rock, it steered itself!"

"Sure it did."

"Did you mess with the controls!?"

"Of course not."

"Did you -woah."

Matthew no longer cared about his reputation as a racer, his eyes were trailing another one of the well-endowed students at the school. His eyes trailed her body up and down, up and down. Drool had just started to pool in his mouth when he relised Louis was talking to him.

". . . . .and then there's the math test tomorrow."

"What?"

"Didn't you hear a word I said! I was explaining why we don't have time for you to speed around on some
strip of asphalt!"

"Huh? When did you start talking about that?"

"You were staring at Jamie again, weren't you?"

"May-be"

Louis sighed and ran his hand over his slicked back blonde hair. He turned and began walking away.

"Come on Matt, we promised Headmaster that our dorm would be clean by the end of today."

"So? It's 10am."

"Trust me, your side will take that long to clean."

"What! It will not!"

Matthew rushed forward after his roommate, and only true friend.

Louis lifted up a molded crummy grilled cheese sandwhich.

"And how old would this be?"

"Uhhh. . . . . three weeks old I believe."

"That is so un--"

"Unsanitary, I know I know."

Matthew rolled his eyes and took the 'sandwhich' from Louis, tossing it into the trash bag. He bent down and threw yet another pairless sock into the hamper. Louis's side had been sparkleing when they walked in. Three hours later and they still couldn't see Matthews bed.

"Why did we promise Headmaster that we would clean this?"

"If we didn't, he was going to kick out Revus."

"Oh. So, we're cleaning my side of the room to save your rat?"

"He's a mouse Matthew! A mouse!"

"Rat, mouse, same dif."

"They are different! Mice are a lot smaller and cleaner then rats!"

"Sure."

Matthew rolled his eyes and bent down to pick up a piece of food so molded and gross that he couldn't even tell what it had been to start with. He shook his head and tossed it into the bag.

"I'm not sure whether that was food or one of your early experiments."

"I don'''t even want to know."

The boys both chuckled to each other for a moment, before decideing that 1:15pm was time for lunch. Matthew walked towards the cafeiteria, but froze when he saw the new girl. It wasn't that she was well-endowed, or that she was hot, but how she was dressed.

The girl wore a deep navy blue cloak, the color of the night-time sky just before it went pitch-black. The strange thing was it wrapped completely around her body in a loose wave of fabric that completely concealed her figure. It went down to her ancles, and was fastened all the way down with large brass buttons.The only place it was tight on her body was the strip that wrapped all the way up her neck.

Her features were soft, but exotic. Her hair was in waves that surounded her face beautifully. It was a strange color, a blonde shade that was so light it almost appeared a silvery white. Her eyes were rather large, and were strange in themselves. One eye shifted shades of blue so much it appeared as if it were a window to the sea. The other, was a single shiny shade of green that resembled that of an emerald.

Her lips were full and pink, but held nether a smile nor a frown. Her nose was small and slightly upturned. Her chin was small but cute, and held the slightest cleft. Her eyelashes were long and thick, the kind that made other girls jelious. Her eyebrows held the slightest arch, and didn't seem the slightest bit bushy. Her skin was a nice creamy pale color, with a slight pinkish tint.

All in all her face was pretty, but everything else, besides her black boots, was hidden. This was what drew Matt's attention as he walked past. He didn't noticed where she had been standing, didn't really notice anything but the cloak. As they walked away, Matthew turned to Louis and asked him,

"You have any idea who the chick in the cloak was?"

"The new student."

"Really? There hasn't been a new student in what- a year?"

"Yup."

"What's her name?"

"Don't know yet."

"What? Aren't you the super genious?"

"Yes."

"then why don't you know her name yet?"

"I haven't checked the schools system recently."

"By that you mean you haven'thacked in any time recently?"

"Erm, yes."

Matt laughed loudly at the fact that his friend sounded embaressed. They kept on walking until they got to the dining hall. Louis and Matthew both went straight for the meat, and both glared at each other over the last steak. It took a moment, but one of them snatched out their hand and smugly grabbed the meat. Louis turned and walked away smugly.

Matthew glared at him as he walked away, then noticed a flash of blue in the corner of his eye. He turned and saw the strange cloaked girl. He considered speaking to her, but she turned and walked out of his sight before he could move. With a shrug, he shoved his hadns in his pockets and urned to survey the other food options.

Later on, at about 4:50 pm, Matt plopped onto his now clean smelling bed and said.

"This is almost, almost, worth cleaning."

"What? The ability to see your bed?"

"The ability to lay on it."

"That's right, you normally just sleep on a pile of dirty clothes at the edge of your side."

"Yup."

"Miss the smell of decaying garbage?"

"A little."

"I was being sarcastic."

"I wasn't."

"I know."

Matthew sighed and pulled himself off of his bed. He looked towards their only window and felt it again. It's that strange urge to be outside all the time. He had felt it many times in the past seven years at Bloodbirth High. A strange smirk marked his expression. Everyone called it a highschool, but really it was a prison. Kids of all ages, from three to twenty, sometimes higher, were taken here when it was discovered they had a 'gift'. His jaw clenched as he remembered all the rules, all the harsh rules. You weren't allowed to have any contact with your family or the outside world at all the instint you were enrolled.

Matt inwardly shook his head. He had no family, none worth keeping in contact with, so why was he so angry? Unbidden, his gaze was drawn to Louis, who was staring intent at his laptop screen, clicking a few buttons every now and again. Louis did, Louis had family. The thought sped through his mind as quickly as he sped around on the track. Louis, he had a little sister who would be turnign thirteen in a few months, he mother had been pregant when he left too. His father had been kind and gentle. Louis had had the ideal family, and then it was found out he was a genious.

Abruptly, he stood up and walked towards the door. He nearly wrentched it open, but calmed himself just in time.

"I'm going for a walk, see ya later. "

Matt went into the hallway and began to walk towards the courtyard. He quickly strode past the WAterspryte Fountain and towards the racing track. He passed by a map and briefly glimsped at it. There were all the buildings in the higschool branch painting on in the correct postions, plus a guide to the dining hall. He smiled grimly and remembering how scared he had been heading to the dining hall for the first time. It was in Upper Elementary Branch, much like the greenhouse was in the Middle School Branch. He raked his eyes over the map.

Inside the Highschool Branch was a large track that racers raced around in, and smarties tested their robots on. In the inside of this track was a bunch of large and small rocks boulders and such and such for rock controllers to practice with. Directly to the south of the dorms and courtyard was the dirt ring with a moat that fire-users used to practice with.

He looked east, where the track was. To the south of the trach was the large red brick building that was where the highschool classes were held. He sighed and recalled that the middle school branch was almost excatly like this one, except the classes house was smaller and they had a green house as well. The Lower and Upper Elementary Branches had the normal courtyard dorms and fountain, the class house, and several buildings for finding the talents of those who still had them locked within.

He sighed lightly to himself. He recalled how in the upper Elementary Branch was the buildign where all the teachers and such lived. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to the track. Gym never ran on it, but just around the inside rim. Thinking of gym class, he remembered just in time that he had to take that today.

Matthew looked over at Louis, who stood on the kills by the track. His eyes roamed over his friends Blonde slicked back hair, the calm sky-blue eyes, the lean build, the almost girlish shoulders. His friend was wearing what he always did out of school uniform, a long sleeve button-up dress shirt, and a pair of loose slacks. The colors always ranged, but today it was a white skirt and navy slacks. His dress shoes gleamed brightly in the light, reminding how Louis always polished them.

Matthew himself had shaggy black hair that was often in, and sometimes covering completely, his eyes. His eyes were aa warm chocolate color that could melt certain girls down to their toes, but could turn cold a steely in a moments notice. His skin was natrually pale, much like Louis's, but he had managed to get a slight tan from racing around all day in a go-kart nearly every moment he could. He had a lean frame, and shoulders that were broad for said frame. His arms didn't look buff, but they were pretty strong. He himself was wearing the school gym class uniform at the moment, a white tee and a pair of light blue shorts.

Matthew turned to look over at the rest of the class, mainly the girls, when he spotted her again. She still wore the cloak, dispite the heat, and appeared to be in the class. He worried about her breifly, quickly brushed that thought aside,he needed to focus if he was going to get a good grade. His 'gift' was a strange form of super-speed. You put in on top of anything that had a motor and wheels and he can nearly break the sound barrior, but put him on his own two feet, a bike, or anything else that requires his own strength, and he's slower then a sloath.

Matthew took a deep breath and croutched into postion to begin the running. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the cloaked girl next to him. So he'd have to race the cloaked girl, would he? His eyes looked over to the other group, the one for those with super speed. How nearly he had been placed in that classss would always remain fresh in his mind. He'd have to thank Louis later.

The whistle blew, and he rushed off. He actually seemed to be winning for a moment, then saw her come up behind him, he sped up and found she did as well. He went to his full extent and watched her do the same. He was awtching her, and kenw exactly when she stopped sweating.

His mind went back to when he was 8, back before the school, he and his old friend had been running, both of them sweating gallons, when suddenly his friend had stopped sweating. He had died in route to the hospital.

He went to skid to a stop, and saw it all in slow motion. Her eyes suddenly closed and she pitched forward. He spun around and caught her, yelling out as he did. He moved her to carry her bridal style and ran towards the teacher, who was motioning to the hospital in the Lower Elementary Branch. He gritted his teeth, he had to get her help, and fast.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DP, What does Matthew do to help the new girl?

Mephistopheles · Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:06 pm Post subject:

first get her cloak off of her (hopefully she is wearing something beneath it), because if she is that over heated, she doesn't need the extra clothing. Then sprint through any shaded areas that there may be on the way to the hospital wing. Just run as fast as he can there, and don't let anyone stop him.

Kirranna · Joined: 01 Jan 2008 Posts: 81 Location: California

Hm, a few spelling and grammar mistakes that would have been caught with a word processor or read through, but no biggy. I like the idea, good descriptions. Also, to make it easier for us readers, you might want to put some lines between the sections of the chapter that switch to a different setting or time, this helps us realize that there is a transition.

As for the DP- Hop into one of the go-carts and drive her all the way to the hospital place, that should cause a stir.

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

Scream Bloody Murder. That always works.

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject:

I like your ideas, but Messy, part of the story is that she is never seen without her cloak, otherwise I love your idea, I'll find a way to fit it in there if it gets choosen!

Note: This is NoNi's friend typing over her shoulder, I think he should just run, no thoughts or nothing else, just run. Later on, the gym teacher can confront him about his speed.

Unnote: Back to being NoNi, I like my friends idea, anyone else?

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

Careful, NoNi's friend. I've heard of awful tragedys when multiple people hold the same account. The memory of the L-beast still haunts me....

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 7:47 pm Post subject:

Oh! My friend was just over and wanted to make her opinion known, she doesn't actually share my account or password or anyting, she can't even remember the name of the site!

Cyberworm · Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 1:05 am Post subject:

Hey, I like the chappy NoNi. :) F5 all the grammar stuff.

Now, for the DP, there must be some student that controls bio-mass or something, a healer, so to say. Try to find him and do some emergency patch-up.

Player of Fates · Joined: 27 Jun 2007 Posts: 217 Location: Darkness

I like Cyberworm's idea but while he's healing her, he notices something hauntingly strange, maybe something alien.

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:36 am Post subject:

Alien? This girl is human, BTW everyone is either a human or an animal. I like it the healing idea is very very interesting. I have several options right now, so after school I'll put up a pol

Serge Wolf · Joined: 23 Jan 2008 Posts: 43 Location: Texas

Ok, read through it, I like the concept and besides a few spelling errors and typos it's all good.

Now as for my opinion, I agree, if this is a gifted school, then there HAS to be that one kid who can heal others or something similar, The only I'd like to say though, is make him/her a total stuck up jerk

After all, Who ever meets a mean healer?

Cyberworm · Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:05 pm Post subject:

But being a badass and a healer is kinda opposite, no? I think that would be a good characteristic, and a lot can come out of it... :grin:

Syranore · Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 145 Location: The Menagerie

Screaming would be funny. I f5 the grammar mistakes. Try reading through each paragraph when you write them, or using a spell-checker(although there are some things that cannot fix. EX-I saw a misspelling when you accidently double-typed a, and ended up with aa. A spellchecker would not catch this, because aa is actually a word, so running through it manually is always a good idea.)

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 7:52 pm Post subject:

Okay, I think I'm gonna start he next chappy, but i'm at my grandmothers house and cant work on it,so it'll take a while.

DeadManWalking · Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 620 Location: San Francisco

:(

I missed the poll

:(

This is cool!

I actually have a similar concept in a sgame I'm working on (not the one I posted).

Although it is a little different.

Y'know, we could probably incorporate all the options into one.

He sprints to a gocart which is parked in a shady spot while screaming bloody murder and drives to a healer, who is in the hospital.

Doesn't that work?

Sort of?

In a way?

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 2:15 pm Post subject:

Chapter Two

Matthew looked around. Oh damn it all, where is that little stalker kid when I need him? In actuallity, Matthew was thinking of Joey, an 8 year old, who was currently in the Higher Elementary Branch. He was one of the few who controled bio-mass. Or, in the terms Louis put it in for Matt, was a healer.

The kid was always following Matthew and Louis around, and was a good friend of both of them. His hair was in the floppy cute style only little boys could pull off, and was a beautiful gossy bleach blonde. It was natrual, of course, but still made people wonder where he'd been before.

"Heya Matthew, Why are you holding a girl in your arms?"

Startled, Matthew spun around to look down into the innocent green eyes of Joey. He felt relief rush through his viens, but knew she wouldn't survive her heat stroke much longer. He set her on the ground and stared at Joey hard, before talking to one of his good friends, one of the only people to know about the death of his only friend outside this school.

"Joey, this girl is having a heat stroke."

His eyes went wide.

"Y-you mean like-"

"Yes, if you can Joey, you really need to heal her."

Matthew had no trouble getting through to Joey, he bent down and placed his small, childish palms on her side. Within a few moments, Joey opened the eyes he hadn't been aware of closing, and said.

"She's fine now, she wouldn't have made it to the hospital building. You should probably--"

Joey watched as he stood up and began rushing off towards the place Joey had spoken of, already knowing what he was thinking. The girl had been healed, that was true, but some people would still go on freaking out, mentally, even if their body is fine. They'd keep doing it, until their body wasn't fine. Joey couldn't help it, he was an innocent little boy who worried about others easily.

Matthew rushed off, his feet detatched from his mind. He automatically headed in the direction of the hospital, mind rushing back in the years. He was remembering his life to the east, far east, of the school.

He'd not even known about the school then, just been an innocent little kid who was really slow. His best friend had been Ace. They'd both been sweet little kids around girls or adults, but had you put the pair of them with a group of other boys, and you'd be surprised how compitive they were.

As Matthew thought back to the happy times, a slight smile graced his lips. Then he remembered the day they'd been challanged to a race. Neither Matthew nor Ace were very fast, but they both had been almost past the fastest boy in the grade, when Ace stopped sweating. It was mere minutes later that Matthew had lost his life-long friend.

He was slammed back to the present by the hospital door being opened in front of him. The woried faces reminded him he was holding a girl who very well could still be in trouble. He passed her to a nurse, and though he wanted to wait and see if she was alright, he was sent back to his freaking gym class.

It was a few days later, on saturday night, that Matthew was thinking about the girl in the strange cloak, yet again, as he layed in bed. On the other side of the room, Louis was doing something on his laptop that involved long, big, unpronouncable, and confuseing words that Matthew didn't know.

"Hey Louis?"

"What?" Matthew didn't miss the note of irritation in his voice, he just ignored it.

"Could you hack into the schools system and check out some info on the new student?"

"Why?"

"She had a heat stroke, I think, I'm entitled to be a bit worried."

"You wouldn't say that if the new kid was a boy."

"I resent that!"

"But you don't deny it."

Matthew went silent. In all honesty, Matt was what was known as a 'skirt chaser'. He'd never been prou- oh what the hell, he was completely uncaring about whether or not it was respectful. All he knew, is that hormones, and speed lead his life. He had enjoyed life like that; still did.

Something was off though. Closeing his eyes, he thought back to his life when he first came to this school. He'd been alone, he'd just lost his long-time best friend two years earlier, and hadn't gotten over it yet. His family hadn't been missed, his father had run away long before that and mom. . . His thoughts trailed off.

He loved his mom, she just never had the time of day for him. To provide for her children, he had several younger siblings, she'd had to be working all the time to pay for food, water, houseing, and then all the babysitters. He'd rarely seen his mother, but all he'd ever wanted to do was make her proud. That was how he'd found out about his gift.

Mom had been stressed, because Lucy, his little sister, had been left at the school. Mom couldn't pack them all into the car, and didn't know what to do. Matthew had snuck of and climbed into the small dingy brown car they'd had. His hands had known just what to do, dispite never having even seen it done. He rushed off really fast, and had his sister home within moments.

Within the month his mother had reported it to the government, and the governmetn had gotten a hold of this school. He was rushed off from everything he'd ever known, and everyone, and placed in this prison that held the mask of a school.

"Matthew."

Dragged out of his thoughts, Matthew was groggy. "Huh?"

"You should check this out."

Sighing, Matthew pulled himself, reluctantly, from the bed and walked over to Louis. He stared at the screen, which had a picture of the girl, her name, age, and gender. Nothing else. Narrowing their eyes, both boys stared at the screen for a moment, seriously confused.

"Shouldn't it have, I don't know, her power or something?"

"It should, but doesn't. Wait, there is a few comments written by the headmaster."

Louis scrolled down a bit and scanned the screen. Matthew was paying a bit more attention to her name. Avalence Moonlong, age:16, gender: female, surely it should say more. Matthew glanced at the picture. It was the typical black and white small chest up picture that was common to all school photos. That was enough to tell she was wearing the same cloak as when he first saw her, and when she ran.

"It says that she has 'cultural exceptions'. "

"Has what?"

"Basicly, she doesn't have to do certain things like others due to her homes relgion, beliefs, whatever."

"Maybe that has something to do with the cloak. . ."

"Most likely. Now, what's next? I don't have any homework, you rarely do yours, and we've got nothing to do. What's the brain block now?"

Matthew shrugged lightly, he didn't know, and didn't care all that much. He wanted, like always, to bug and mess around with Revus, but Louis would kill him. The geek was strangely protective of that rat. Flopping down onto his bed, he began staring at the ceiling.

~_~_~_~

Sighing, Avalence looked up at the stars. They twinkled and shined with great light. Why, why did she have to have this horendous power? Why did she have to be dragged off from her family and everyone she'd ever known? She couldn't think of any person she'd want to wish this on, but she certainly didn't want it for herself.

Fingering her soft cloak, she sighed in relief. They'd finally let you out of that white-walled box they called a hospital. She shuddered, then leaned back against the trunk of the tree she was in. She was around 20 feet up, sitting in the stern branches of an oak tree. She'd always enjoyed heights.

A glance proved that the light in her dorm was still on. Her roommate was a brunette that seriously needed a chunk of intelligence. All the gigling and the nail polish fumes made her sick. She herself wore dresses and skirts under her cloak, not that anyone would ever see them, but she sitll wasn't so girlie. She still couldn't go back yet, damn.

As she landed with a soft thunk, she glanced around. Asurred no one saw her climb down, she turned away from the forest and began to walk around the grounds. A prison, this school was a prison. Her hands clenched in fists under her cloak. She'd never wanted this, never wanted to leave.

Her gaze was drawn to her left, to the west. Her home, the only other palce she'd ever been, lay to the west. Would she ever get back? Why oh why did she have to tell someone. If no one had ever known about- She froe her thoughts. Her power would remain a mystery so long as she had a choice, she wasn't going to let some kid , any kid, who might have the power to read her thoughts be given the chance.

qAnd so her thoughts went back to the hospital. She remembered they trying to take off her cloak, and even sick as she was, she'd managed to knock the doctor flat on his back, useing only her foot. She rubbed the soft fabric on the inside of it, and sighed. She missed her old life, missed her tribe.

She glanced down at the dirt below her, then up at the trees. She wondered, why me? Why did I get this power? Why do I have this instinct to hide it? To make sure no one finds out about it? She glanced at her feet, wondering why she lived off instincts, impulses, did what her mind said to, when it said to.

Just as she was turning to head back to her dorm however, her gaze caught on a high wall. The eastern wall, which was the only thing that kept the students from running away through the forest. Hadn't she been heading away from the forest, not into it?

"Where am I?"

As she softly murmered this to herself, a flash of sky brightening red passed by her in a rush of heat. Spinning to the side, she saw a females siholutte framed by flashes of fire. The girl was standing on the wall, staring off at the land beyond. Avalence wondered if the girl was about to jump over the wall and run, but surely a prison wouldn't be so easy to excape?

DP: who is this girl(the one on the wall) and what is she doing?

DeadManWalking · Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 620 Location: San Francisco

hm.... probably someone who communes with nature or something.

which would explain why she's up in the middle of the night sitting on a wall.

Nice chappie anyways.
:)

Adalia · Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 210

Noni wrote: sitolutte(no idea how to spell that, sorry)

silhouette

DP: She's some kind of pyro, and she was trying to destroy the school because she, like Matthew and Avalence, considers it to be a prison.

DeadManWalking · Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 620 Location: San Francisco

She communes with the spirit of fire.

Which is reflected from the moon and originates from the sun.

Which is why she is out at night.

The reason that she doesn't commune with the sun directly is because the incredible vitality of the sun is too much for her to stand as of now.

I love incredibly complicated explanations.

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 7:29 pm Post subject:

Thankies! Great ideas! I've just gotten three replys in a few ours*does victory dance* sorry, anyway, I like all your ideas, thanks for the spelling, I don't have time to fix it now, but I will tomorrow. Thankies all! This is coming along nicely!

Cyberworm · Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:56 am Post subject:

Good work NoNi, minus the few spelling mistakes. All in all, it seems like it's gaining some more depth.

Sorry, I have to do some critiquing first.

First I'd like to say that the Avalence character surprised me. I expected it to be a bit more developed as a character. You gave a distinct, special way of thinking to both Matthew and Louis, and to Joey in a way, but th third most important character in the story, Avalence, is still too much a mystery, considering you are writing while following her as well.

You gave a mystery spot to the girl, what is ok, but you need to give her a special way of thinking, which includes monologues, in which we can see some of her differences. I suggest adding an accent or a special way of understanding things, as in a more egocentric way. "Why he looking at me like that? Why this girl standing on the wall?"

Secondly, you kinda skipped the part when she was recovering, and I think there would be much to write about in there. There is a major lack of descriptions, I mean, I know Matthew carried her to the hospital, but I have absolutely no idea how it looks. you could've slowed things just a bit, making as if everything was happening in slow-motion (which generally did happen, Matthew had time to think about Lucy and the friend he lost two years before he came to the school.) I would like to see the scene of her being in the hospital bed and thinking about what happened, about Matt and everything. A bit more of her POV, which return us to point one I mentioned in the first two paragraphs of my critique.

Third, and last, I think you are jumping from thing to thing without any further deepening of the matter. Like the roommate issue. You could've just said she can't go back to her room, and when she gets back you give a whole explanation why, describing her room and roommate in whole. It gives for a more complete feeling. It's just my opinion, that's all.

Ending the dissection. :P

Don't worry, it was still a good read, but you need to do better if you want the story to be really good. ;)

As for the chick, it's a male version of Flash, the guy who travels at the speed of lightning. There is a problem though. Unlike other fast-traveling people, her trips generate so much heat that the air she moves when she is passing through bursts into flames. A pretty unstable power, and she can't control it totally, she got it after the whole house she was living in blew up as a result of a gas leak. The gas penetrated her skin cells and dripped into her blood. There it altered her hormones, which altered her body and made her really fast. Though, she is emitting small amounts of propane-butane (the gas from the gas leak) and that gas goes on fire when the air around her bursts into flames. As I've said, a dangerous power.

Keep up the good work. :D

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 5:35 am Post subject:

Cool! that never occured to me! Thanks, I'm gonna fix the story after school today, as it is I should't be on the computer. I think your suggestions are useful, and I'll implement them when I get the time. Thankies loads!

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:16 am Post subject:

Poll is up!

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:31 pm Post subject:

okay people, I'm shutting this poll down soon! Better hurry up and read/vote if you wanna! Please!