City of IF

Aponi · Joined: 29 Nov 2007 Posts: 63 Location: "Calderia"

Go with her - she's a cop posing as a hooker. :-)

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2477

Call everyone else in the area over, then start beatnig the girl up as they watch.

Phang · Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:09 pm Post subject:

Start singing about various insects mournfully while rubbing a stick of butter on her face. Proceed to charge people money to lick it off, then use the notes to sew yourself some incontinence undies.

Jalorn · Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 85 Location: Elysium

Quickly put on a Michael Jackson costume and say "I'm sorry but I don't date women, but if you have a little boy, or happen to know one, I like to come have a playdate" in a Michael Jackson accent. Then, jump up on a pole dancing table that lowers from the ceiling and start dancing. Slowly tease all the men in the room, even though you are a man. Then take off the M.J. outfit, put on the garment of the KKK, and walk around african-american gang areas.

Bookwizard · Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject:

kindly tell her that you don't date "things"

Bookwizard · Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:21 pm Post subject:

Anyone else, or is it time to vote?!?!

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

Show her your photo collection of women you have stalked over the last fifteen years. Don't omit her own picture either; women like to know that people care about them.

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 10:55 pm Post subject:

Say that your mother wouldn't appriciate it if you cheated on her anywhere but at home and ask if she'd like to come back to your place with you?

Bookwizard · Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:13 pm Post subject:

The poll is up, who shall be are word advisor.....

Bookwizard · Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:00 am Post subject:

WOW, IF NO ONE VOTES SOON, D-LOTES SHALLE BE ARE CHAMPION 3 TIMES IN A ROW

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:06 am Post subject:

Humm...since I didn't make the poll does this mean that I gave 'good' advice Wiz? *twitches*

Bookwizard · Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:46 am Post subject:

Ahhhh, it did it again, this also happened to Apoli last time, I know I put your name in, it must have just taken you out. Though I admit It may have been my forgetfulness as well, am greatly sorry about that.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

When I voted, Rai's name was there.

Bookwizard · Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:45 pm Post subject:

AND D-LOTUS IS ARE 3 TIME CHAMPION!!!
D-Lotus had just one for the 3rd time!!! this is truly amazing, shall the champ ever be defeated???, well D, am handing it over to you to create your next predicament.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

You are painting a fence for a newly-wed couple. The husband sternly commands you to paint the fence green. You are in the process of doing so, when his wife returns home and cries out, horrified. It seems that she hates green. She tells you to paint it yellow, then walks into the house. What do you do?

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:22 am Post subject:

Burn down the fence and the house while you're at it.

Gallant · Joined: 02 Mar 2008 Posts: 172 Location: New Zealand

Paint the house green and in yellow write "green rules" on the fence just to annoy her. With a background of green ofcourse. Then shortly afterwards invest everything you have into the oil companies and wait ten years for the return.

Bookwizard · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:54 pm Post subject:

Sit down abruptly and start to sweat profusely, then start screaming "ITS NOT FAIR, WHO DO I LISTEN TO" then start crying and when the couple comes out look up at them with big eyes. As they rush over trip the wife then take the mans trousers and start running down the street screaming "IVE BEEN MUGGED, IVE BEEN MUGGED".

Jalorn · Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 85 Location: Elysium

Paint the fence half yellow, half green. Then chain th husband to the yellow side, and the wife to the green side. Then dress up as a leprechaun and dance around by the wife, while throwing yellow paint at the husband.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

Paint the fence green. Then urinate over it until you achieve that glossy yellow sheen you know will delight the couple.

Jalorn · Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 85 Location: Elysium

I had thought of that, but I dubbed it too vulgar for a contest.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

Jalorn wrote: Quickly put on a Michael Jackson costume and say "I'm sorry but I don't date women, but if you have a little boy, or happen to know one, I like to come have a playdate" in a Michael Jackson accent. Then, jump up on a pole dancing table that lowers from the ceiling and start dancing. Slowly tease all the men in the room, even though you are a man. Then take off the M.J. outfit, put on the garment of the KKK, and walk around african-american gang areas.

Michael Jackson teasing men? I rest my case. Besides, it's all in the delivery, no matter how vulgar the subject.

Aponi · Joined: 29 Nov 2007 Posts: 63 Location: "Calderia"

Invite gang members to come decorate the fence with graffiti, and give them the key to the house in case anyone wants to use the bathroom, raid the refrigerator, or throw a party. Also add your own name, address, and phone number to the graffiti on the fence.

(Why isn't D's name ever dropped? Hmmm... conspiracy? :-) )

Jalorn · Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 85 Location: Elysium

Alright D-Lotus, you got me.

Bookwizard · Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:43 pm Post subject:

*Going through massive amount of fables D had bribed with smiling, suddenly gets up looking flustered and stuffs all the fables under the desk* conspiracy, what no, of course not...

DeadManWalking · Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 620 Location: San Francisco

How about this?

First, you spend all your life savings buying massive amounts of purple paint.
Then you paint their house purple, leaving the fence half green.

Then you eat the paintbrush.

Then you go to the couple and demand your pay.

After all, you did do a lot of work right?

:D

zahark · Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:55 am Post subject:

paint the fence green and yellow tidie and the house black and red and write green and yellow in multiple other colors. then while the couple is sleeping paint the wife in multiple shades of green and paint her a clown smile and cheeks in yellow. then paint the husband multiple shades of yellow and give him a clown face in green. next place the yellow brush in the wife's hands and the green one in the husband's hands(so it looks lie they did it). then go spatter multiple colors or paint all throughout the house making shure to get it on every thing. paint the screens or things (tv, computor, ect..) green and yellow so you cant see them any more. then paint the windows green with yellow suns in the corners. replace all the light bulbs with florecent green and yellow ones.then grafitiy the walls with pictures ranging from pretty ponies to bleeding skelitons.then wait out side in the morning to see what the familys reaction is. then after they see the extent of the damage barge in the house and demand your pay because you painted the fence yellow and green. also claim that you have no idea what happened to the house and that you dont even have a key to get in and act all inocent. and finaly when youdo get payed run away and use the money to buy green and yellow paint.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

Is bookwizard around? Maybe I should take over this thing... I´ll give it a couple of days.

Phang · Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:04 am Post subject:

Well, I haven't seen him in a while.

vgmaster · Joined: 18 Oct 2008 Posts: 4 Location: The City of Angels

Spontaneously cumbust sending chunks of green and yellow flesh everywhere. :P :x :P :x

Bookwizard · Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:50 pm Post subject:

Ok am back, sorry about that... I'm going to create a new predicament if thats OK with you D, and we we'll start again, lets see if someone can beat D this time. :lol:

Bookwizard · Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:53 pm Post subject:

You are stepping out of your car when suddenly out of nowhere a dangerous looking man carrying a sack runs up to you and says "HURRY, if you let me use your car, I'll give you half the money" as a group of police men round the corner.

DeadManWalking · Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 620 Location: San Francisco

hmmmm....
Kick the guy in the balls, get in your car, and run over as many policeman as possible.

Then get out and lie down in front of the dude you kicked.

TruePurple · Joined: 18 Sep 2008 Posts: 122

Try to grab all the money from him, if he pulls a gun on you and tells you to stop, pull harder while insulting his mom saying you raped her lots of times. Say you have proof in your glove box. If you manage to get the money, use all of it to fuel a bonfire in your car. Strip and put your clothes & shoes in the fire. Try to put the man in too, especially if he has a gun. Then start trying to eat all of it, first a bit of your shoe, then the man.

As the many police arrive on the scene of your bloody cannibalism and shoe eating ways with their guns drawn. Proclaim you were the one that robbed the bank, but you only did so because you wanted to see what a cop tasted like. That you heard they taste good and now is as good of time as any to find out for yourself. Light yourself on fire, then rush head long naked into the crowd of cops with a bit of burning cash in one bare hand and a gun in the other hand and try to bite one of them.

That will teach scum like that to try to bribe you for use of your car as a get away vehicle.

P.S. Almost threw in necriphilia too, but I figured this would be plenty.

msmelton · Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 9:06 am Post subject:

you go to her house, eat her brain, then proceed to hide under her bed and eat her socks while saying yo momma jokes at the top of your lungs