City of IF

[zahark]

invoke the horrifying

[Bookwizard]

cuddly pink teddybears

[zahark]

that threatened to

[Bookwizard]

start a revolution.

[Adalia]

It was so

[Gallant]

terrific now Gallant's

[Bookwizard]

band of mercenaries

[Meranos]

went to a

[Bookwizard]

swap-meet in Tahiti,

[Adalia]

which turned out

[Bookwizard]

a complete disaster,

[zahark]

because they all

[Phantomfan]

Thwacked a Bob!

[Gallant]

Bookwizard then furiously

[Meranos]

Rewrote the manuscripts

[Adalia]

because he thought

[Gallant]

the entire human

[ceej]

civilization would be

[Meranos]

utterly terrific if

[Gallant]

the manuscripts were

[Meranos]

dripping with scrumptious

[Adalia]

delicacies made of

[ceej]

big, round, hairy

[Meranos]

furry, cuddly, puppies.

[sparta12]

That Were Still

[ceej]

blind from birth,

[Gallant]

(Blind from birth!? What the hell ceej! :P )

Suddenly and randomly,

[Bookwizard]

*Thwacks Bob*

Once upon a time there was a big city, in the middle of a stormy void that randomly spewed apedogs named bob which immediately exploded raining blood everywhere. So one day cleaners from the other side of the Fanta Sea arrived with powerful body odor which knocked out all the apedog's victims. Then Meany died after Whitey died but the locusts became very angry and devastated all Mother Goose's friends, which was none. This created a panic so widely spread that all of the land cowered in fear, for this land was terrified of widespread panic, ironically.

Soon the king summoned his advisors, and asked them “Who has brooms?” And they replied "The witches, but their cats won't like it if they eat their words, and fly to the landfill.”

This confused the king, who thought he was all-powerful to think of all-powerful things, so he looked instead to his mother's uncle's cousin's brother, who told him, "look to the crown jewels! Someone's charmed them with the spaghetti monster's great big meatball."

"Holy schamollies!", said the king. "We need the magic Blade of Lost Meatballs to control your mother." Then, as the council ran around helplessly because an assassin had jumped in and slaughtered Bookwizard's great friend blacksmith, the King and his friend Bob planned a heroic journey through the Texas Time Portal, and ran into the Minotaur in Japan. But luckily the king had a powerful bullhorn that was sounded so loud that the dogs covered their aggravated puppies' ears in horror. None could refrain from mournful howling so the king shouted even louder until he found the needed answers.

So he left to go eat Kentucky Fried Chicken in a box. His friend Bob went to lick a random stone that looked like Jalorn's head. Unfortunately, the stone tasted like gore covered in fecal matter. After tasting it, the only reaction possible was to splutter profusely and cheer all those who hadn't licked the awful thing.

After the celebration one of the infinitely wise old binge drinkers from the Locusts Citadel coughed up a big dusty book covered in magical runes that said

"Ye Olde Tome of pies A-Z and poisons Z-A will tell you how to seek the great wobbling duck of truth."

"The duck!" gasped the crowd, as the king held the book. But the duck had scurvy, chickenpox and thwackabobitus, which is deadly to ducks!

"Oh no!" cried the populace of mutant rabbit bears who lived in polka-dotted caves. "He shall have a slow and Chuck Norris related rash. It might damage his bright blue convertible Corvette, which turned gold when it fell off a cliff and got totaled."

But then a miraculous thing happened. Bob jumped out, I thwacked him, but got eaten by a nine-legged reddish blue freak. After that, Bob disappeared in a dark cloud of poisonous gas, which enveloped the entire Empire.

Before now, butterflies lived for two hundred forty-two thousand seconds. Now, they only exist for dark moments that will never end.

Morbid thoughts float slowly through the mental gel of collective consciousness and, fleshed, awaken, newly reborn into life's bitter scourges and infinitely sorrowful lies. These gloomy things are like eulegies carved in gigantic grave stones.

Eating the cheese of eternal age will cause many, many to fall, whilst readying to prepare their war. The fury of everyone around them that, in paroxysms, was then ignited into something so dark that you cannot possibly imagine the feeling of pain that the immortal souls inflict on each other. Furious with longing, they enjoy destroying their heart's desires.

Siphoning radiance from an all powerful whisper. Darkness engulfs a pool of dead lifeless ashes stirring in the deathly cold wind.

The king, Bob, tired of depression, he wanted food, in spite of the fact that there was no leftover chicken. So He ate a charming soul, 'ezareth, who dematerialized because he realized that existence was futile. The King then said with excitement, "to the mutton, and let's eat!"

He then ran Towards the bonfire and grabbed a big flaming stick in order to cook the food and finally get The Doom Mushroom. The mushroom's poison caused him to go mad with thoughts of deadly blue-fanged turtles. This madness afflicted not only him, but also the people of the Eldritch Baptismal Church , who all started to dance. Twitching and ringing doorbells joyously ran rampant over the king and his consort.

The Royal Guard, Chaos arrived in Keystone Kops-like formation, cowing the masses by offering them free lollipops for good behavior.

Alas, the two-headed politics of corruption then decided to exploit the situation. They called Mother Goose to help bribe the Steward of the land to blow raspberries up for fun and then run, raspberry-juice-covered, into the ocean. After doing this, everybody wore pink in order to disgust the King. He absolutely hated his subjects, so he took their Legos and threw them into the cereal boxes of the demons of marshmallow land.

So, Daniel Day Lewis decided to go-go to the Marshmallow Demon Lord's evil shackish lair in order to drink a milkshake even though he did not know what a milkshake was capable of, and thus they began to plot to remove the teddy bears from the king's bedroom. They call the King's wet-nurse, whose ten-thousand-fanged child plays softball with large, speaking, wolves who bit the king because they hungered for flesh.

Cried the king, "Where's my bottle?" The bottle was full of the giant purple oranges that were known to have random laughing spasms that caused all goats to produce multiple happy, healthy kids. The kids were so happy that they randomly danced without any music. Realizing that their mothers were goats, they decided to eat the King.

Suddenly, the king realized that he had been eaten and he died. His death caused nobody to cry, which was unfortunate because he had the power of random conniption causing. Even in un-death, the king, Bob, was extremely irritating but he was a fine marksman who could shoot peanuts off of a tree, from horseback, on fire. But his horse, knew the way to the land where the magic beings roamed freely without any regard for the black magic Blade of Found Meatballs. Then, the possessor of the meatballs decided enough was enough and went to Mushroom kingdom to make some spaghetti. All the spaghetti decided to go kiss the boys that weren't bugging the maroon tunes , who were busy fixing their cars.

Melodically, these multi-colored frogs weren't very poisonous after all , so any visitors to the twilight were spared of all the implausibly-horrifying demons of dream. As a result the demons decided to go do the polka to invoke the horrifying cuddly pink teddybears that threatened to start a revolution.

It was so terrific now Gallant's band of mercenaries went to a swap-meet in Tahiti, which turned out a complete disaster, because they all Thwacked a Bob!

Bookwizard then furiously rewrote the manuscripts because he thought the entire human civilization would be utterly terrific if the manuscripts were dripping with scrumptious delicacies mad of big, round, hairy, furry, cuddly, puppies. That were still blind from birth, suddenly and randomly Al-Gore appeared with

[Meranos]

a mallet the

[Gallant]

size of a

[Bookwizard]

disorientated Croatian King.

[Gallant]

and splattered innocent

[Meranos]

sulphuric acid all

[Bookwizard]

covered in liquid-nitrigen

[Gallant]

freezing and disintergrating