City of IF

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:28 pm Post subject:

Excellent observation Kitty. You've no idea what questions will be floating in Greg's brain but look at it this way. You'll learn more about Greg through the types of questions floating around in there...hehehe...

scissorkitty · Joined: 04 Mar 2008 Posts: 453 Location: Bottom of a teapot

Ah ha! Good answer! Now I'm stoked to find out what happens! This story is really starting to suck me in! (vampire pun obviously intended. mwahhh.)

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:29 am Post subject:

Alrighty then. It's time for a few questions to be answered and a few things to come to light. And D...right idea, wrong character. Enjoy!
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Chapter Three: Travis

As soon as his stomach stopped doing flip-flops, Greg got to his feet and resumed scrubbing off the now dried blood. His sweatshirt was soaked with it, bringing a momentairy flash of fury. He'd really liked this shirt, it was from his senior year at Valdins High. And now it was ruined. He peeled it off disgustedly, swearing as he realized the white T-shirt under it was also stained with blood. Walking out into the hallway, bloody washcloth in one hand, ruined sweatshirt in the other, he looked around for the vampire.

"I'm in here." Travis's voice floated from further down the hall, prompting Greg to follow it. Sticking his head in the only open doorway to be seen, he was treated to the sight of Travis rummaging through a trunk at the end of a king-size bed. Greg's eyes took in the sight of the vampire, the first slivers of doubt worming their way into his skull.

Travis had an average frame, build like an althlete, a swimmer most likely. His streamlined legs were currently incased in a pair of heavy leather pants, tailored to fit semi-snugly, reinforced with steel plates at the knee. His upper body, currently bare, was decently defined though not overly so, with an emphasis on shoulders and arms. A few scars smatterd his tanned skin but didn't detract from the overall effect. Greg abscently wondered why he couldn't look like that, it would certainly make him more appealing socially.

"You could if you were born in my circumstances, were apprenticed in the same feild I was. Or if you'd just visit the gym, I hear you can get similar results. And I really could care less about who appriciates it, I stopped caring what others thought long, long ago."

Greg shivered. No, the guy hadn't really read his thoughts...had he?

Travis looked up from where he was snapping some thick steel buckles on one heavy duty boot. "I told you, I can't actually read your thoughts, just get the gist of what you're thinking. Like if a man's stomach rumbled, you'd think he was hungry. If he stared at your steak wistfully, you'd think he wanted your steak. I get the general idea, but not the actual thought."

"Still creepy. Please stay out of my head."

"I'm not in it. My mental powers are severly limited compared to most. I can hypnotize you or break you out of hypnosis, as I did earlier with Alexandra. I can calm you, make you feel at peace. And I can 'feel' the direction of your thoughts. That's it, that's all."

So he couldn't sheild himself from mental attack?

"Oh, that too." Travis said with a smile, snapping the buckles on the left book. "That's just a natural thing. I'm better protecting myself than anything else."

No kidding. Greg watched Travis's supple movements as the vampire extracted a dark shirt out of the open trunk at the foot of the bed. He pulled it on with a deft movement, smoothing the wrinkles and shaking the arms to make sure it was lined up correctly. It was slightly fitted, showing Travis's form to good advantage, and like the pants had curved steel plates at the elbows and straight ones along the forearms. Who wore those kind of clothes?

"Somebody interested in staying alive. Body armor of the modern age Greg. I started wearing this when your great, great, great, great, great grandfather was in diapers most likely. Sometime in the 18th century I believe. Although it was a different style, less mobility inclined."

Shit! How old was this bastard?

"I was born in 1755, early July although I'm not sure of the exact day. Record keeping then wasn't as up to snuff as it is now, especially when you're parents are not literate. I was twenty-two when I was Kissed, that was 1777...which means I'm turning 252." Travis's mouth quirked in a quick smile. "Not all that old as vampires go."

Greg leaned against the wall for support, his mind scrambling. This guy had to be bullshitting him. Two hundred and fifty-two Greg's ass. And wait, he'd seen the guy in sunlight! Weren't vampires supposed to fry in sunlight.

Travis sighed. "Vampirism is a disease. It's symptoms are well known for the most part, but they afflict each person differently. I know some vampires who cannot breath if you happen to be holding a clove of garlic, yet I know others that like it mixed with olive oil and slathered on toast. And speaking of toast, I know some vampires who can eat just like a normal human while the vast majority are damned to drink only blood for the rest of their time on Earth. Thus, I know many vampiers who cannot even waken during daylight...but I regularly run errands when the sun is up."

"Likely story." What. Did this guy expect Greg to believe he was a Daywalker?

"I hate that term. That's so overblown, a figment of some human's imagination. I get sunburns like you wouldn't believe and they hurt far worse than the ones I got when I was alive. I also get sea-sick, which never used to happen before the turn either. Running water and I get along for the most part. But the swifter it gets and the deeper it gets, the more it disagrees with me."

Travis had just strapped on a pair of fingerless gloves, the knuckles capped with studs. He now turned back into the chest and pulled out a duster that looked like an escapee from a gothic's version of a western. Again, reinforced with steel along the forearms and elbows, a little bit stiffening the collar, and weighing down the hem. Massive buckles like those on his boots snapped it shut from collarbones to crotch. The vampire raised a strange silver mirror, ruffling his hair and wrinkling his nose. What? Was he trying to look sexier?

Travis suddenly glanced down at himself. "This is hardly my idea of a sexy outfit, it's not exactly easy on or off. I'm just trying to get my hair to lie flat." Giving said hair a few more pats, he reached back into the trunk and pulled out a battered fedora that would have been right at home on the head of Indiana Jones. He sat it on his head lightly, then pulled the brim down over his eyes.

Definetly sexier. Greg had a thing for fedoras and this guy wore that hat like he'd modeled for the style. Hell, Travis wore the whole outfit with an air of confidence and style that most goths couldn't have pulled off in their dreams.

"I'm not a goth. These clothes may be what they wear, but they wear them for the wrong reasons. They wear them to show their disdain for normal life. I wear them to preserve mine. If somebody comes at me with a sword, I can use the plates on my arm to block. My boots are reinforced to protect my shins and my achilles. I can go down on my knees and not damage them. I can land on my elbows and not hit my funny bone, which still hurts just as badly as it did when I was human."

"So you're some kind of warrior?" Or hit man.

Travis favored him with a very chill smile, one eerily inhuman despite the abscence of fangs. Come to think of it, he'd never seen Travis's fangs.

"And if you're lucky you never will. I'm not some newly Kissed idiot to go about flashing fang at every little thing. That's rather crass where I come from. Besides," Travis said, standing gracefully "a true predator doesn't unsheath it's claws until it's time to kill."

That said he withdrew two bundles, one large and long, one small and squre, from the trunk. He bumped the lid with his hand, causing it to bang shut, before undoing the string that held the packages together. The large and long one unrolled to reveal several slender daggers of antiquated design. These he slid through the little loops on the legs of his leather pants, making sure the daggers were snug yet easily withdrawn. The second package, revealed a necklace of some sort.

The chain was slender, delicate, and silver looking. It ended in a pendant featuring massive milky-white moonstone, diamond shaped and large as an egg. Travis held it in the flat of his palm for a moment, picking up the strange mirror and holding it over the top of the gem. A cone of light circled up from the jewel and when Travis took his hand away from the mirror, it hung in that cone of light for a moment. Then the cone vanished and the mirror with it.

Greg didn't even know what to make of it. He just stood there and watched numbly as Travis slipped the necklace over his head and made sure it hung hidden under his clothes. Then, suddenly, the vampire fixed Greg with a searing gaze. "You look like an appitizer at one of the Gatherings." A moment later, a shirt was being pressed into his hands. "Here, put this on. It should fit you."

Travis brushed past Greg and down the hall, leaving the shaking human alone in the bedroom. Slowly, he stripped off his bloody shirt and pulled on the one Travis gave him. The smell of Downy, Tide, and Bounce filled Greg's nostrils, along with the sharp smell of sandalwood. The shirt, which would probably have fit Travis flatteringly, was too loose on Greg. Emphasizing that he was a freaking bean pole without a muscle to his name.

He walked back down the hallway, nearly tripping over Travis's cat. The large, black animal glared at him for a moment, sitting aloofly just out of Greg's reach. Why did the vampire keep it?

"Because we get along well. I feed him, scratch his belly, and stroak his ears. In return, he curls up with me, purrs loudly, and does amusing cat antics. Don't you Odysseus?" The black cat walked over and rubbed it's head affectionately against Travis's fingers. From Greg's vantage, he could see the hilts of the asian swords from where they were clipped to Travis's belt.

"Man, you really are armed to the teeth arn't you."

Travis gave him a droll look. "That was a terrible pun Greg."

Thinking about it for a moment, Greg realized that he had indeed made a rather lame joke. "Sorry," he said weakly. "I'm not used to dealing with vampires." He looked away, realizing no matter what he said he was going to sound like an idiot. "So...you were around in 1777. Saw the Revolution and all that eh?"

"Fought in it as a matter of fact. I was dying on a battlefield when my Maker found me. I was one of the men defending the guns at the Battle of Brandywine." Travis's jaw twitched. "The Redcoats hit us like a hammer against the forge. And trust me, being a former ferriers apprentice, I know exactly the kind of force involved in something like that. We kept falling back, hoping for help, but..." Travis shook his head. "What's done is done."

Aw hell, just when I was getting somewhere...

Travis chuckled, looking around as if making sure nothing was forgotten. "You've gotten more out of me than anyone in about ten years."

"Well, it only makes sense to know more about the...vampire who's protecting you." Greg backed up a step as Travis hissed lightly.

"Let's get one thing straight. You are not under my protection. You are collateral, a human who knows about our world. Potententially you are the greatest trigger for distruction vampires have ever known. I denied them the right to kill you, to feed from you, to Kiss you, because it made them uncomfortable. And I was rather enjoying watching Isabelle be uncomfortable. You mean nothing to me Greg, let's get that straight, here and now."

Following at a slight distance, Greg didn't know why Travis's words stung just a bit more than usual. Could he be...no. Absolutely not. He wasn't going to do that again. Besides, if everything about vampires was a lie, their link between sex and feeding had to be as well.

"Actually that's generally true. We like our blood one of two ways, hot and cold. Cold means the vampire likes their blood tinged with fear, with those icey chills that run down your spine. Hot blood...well that explains itself. Also, we are what we eat. All blood holds memories, all the memories a person has ever experianced. When we draw their blood into us, we draw those memories in as well. Some vampires don't mind, taking it as it comes. I, myself, am a picky eater. There are certain...qualities I look for in a meal."

Greg snorted. Yeah, must be attractive, young, and virgin.

"Actually no, although I take the last one when I can get it. Mostly I like artists. Their creativity often gets me through my own moments of Block, helps me see things in new ways I might never have. I dislike going to galleries and museums to see art, I'd much rather just have someone over for dinner."

Greg chuckled. "Now who's making the bad puns." Artists eh? Well did musicians count? What was he thinking! Travis didn't strike him as one of those 'cold blooded' eaters but there was always a chance...

"Lukewarm. I'll take my meals without any garnish. Emotional stress only leads to situations I've grown weary of dealing with. I've found just hypnotizing a pliant person will get me my food with minimal involvement." Before Greg could even discern the train of his own thoughts, Travis pinned him with a single hand by the throat. "Let me make something abundantly clear. I'm not looking for anyone and even if I were, I've been sure of my orientation since I realized there was a difference between men and women. Now, let's get out of here before anyone else shows up."

Opening the door, Travis waited for Greg to go through before closing it and locking it behind him. Walking down the stairs, Greg was feeling as though he still didn't have all the answers he wanted. The vampire, though, didn't seem inclined to talk any more and Greg wondered if he'd blown his shot.

It was dark outside the building, and as soon as they stepped beyond the dim glow of the building's lights, Travis seemed to come alive. His step had more bounce, his eyes were unnaturally bright, and he seemed overly alert to the slightest sound. It was probably this that saved their life as, without warning, Travis stopped dead in his tracks, a smile on his amazing features.

"Come out, come out, whoever you are..."
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Who is waiting in the shadows for them? Friend? Foe? Or just somebody in the wrong place at the wrong time?
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Okay, a little more about Travis and a little more about Greg. Still tenative though, more is likely to unfold as time goes by. Now, for the DP, what could possibly be in the shadows?

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

Somebody is in the wrong place at the wrong time and it happens to be someone we haven't met from the shop yet, Emerald. :O hehehe

scissorkitty · Joined: 04 Mar 2008 Posts: 453 Location: Bottom of a teapot

I think it's Lina, the girl from the cafe who has the hots for Travis. She's still pissed about Greg making the delivery, and now that he's incredibly late for his first shift, she's come under the guise of "caring" to gloat about him getting canned, and also to make sure he didn't get what she's been after.

Hak · Joined: 10 Sep 2006 Posts: 247 Location: hell

it's the great dragon, Kallanna Rai emerging from the shadows to devour the filthy human and his night friend...

hee, sorry..... umm.... Is it Maxis? or Angello Steel? Saul should come out! CROSSOVER EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

sir wax · Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 1:18 pm Post subject:

Good job with this chapter! I tried to look for as many things as i could and could only come up with two spelling mistakes and the voice of the book. That and a little bit too many questions being answered maybe.

I see now the POV is strictly Gregs. the way you are doing it is great, stick with it. though it is a bit different because it switches from here to there, it still holds up really well. It does confuse me why Travis is pushing Greg around so much, it seems to me he'd be bigger than that, but maybe that was just my impression of him. Travis being 252 years old and whatnot, may have a better understanding of how to not wear his mood on his sleeve.

My suggestion for the DP would be a bad-ass messenger from Maxis who is also warrior like. Maybe there just to say a few words to Travis before the shitz hits the fan.

My suggestion for the overall story, a gay romantic, action, comedy. Travis and Greg fall in love. :P Now that would be breaking new ground! :smile:

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

Oooh Waxy, Rai's gonna burn you .. and burn you good.

sir wax · Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:31 pm Post subject:

Well, that was gonna happen sooner or later. :smile: I only mention it because it would be really cool. I mean, all kidding aside, how many times can you say you've seen or heard of a story like that?
........
I'll answer for you, never. No, you have not. Why? Because it simply does not exist..... yet. :tu:

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:44 pm Post subject:

POLL!

And it's still not. There isn't going to be any 'action' in American Vampire. Just action.

And Wax, when people are sent to kill you, you get stressed. Doesn't matter how old you are. Travis is mostly human afterall...

sir wax · Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 11:37 pm Post subject:

Kalanna Rai wrote: POLL!

And it's still not. There isn't going to be any 'action' in American Vampire. Just action.

And Wax, when people are sent to kill you, you get stressed. Doesn't matter how old you are. Travis is mostly human afterall...

Exactly, endorphins release and next thing you know you've fallen in love with a guy. Seems to make sense to me, but whatev. I'm still pulling for the gay romantic, action, vampire dramedy of the year. If done tastefully, it would be a sight to behold, imho.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

scissorkitty · Joined: 04 Mar 2008 Posts: 453 Location: Bottom of a teapot

I don't know, Wax. Too much rompy dramedy, and Greg and Travis will end up opening a quasi evil tea and candle shop in Wrath.

hee hee. Although that does have possibilties!

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:56 am Post subject:

Alrighty, bad ass messenger dude wins. Enjoy!
Warning: Language and Older Themes. Reader Discretion is Advised.
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Chapter Four: Forging a Bond

Greg looked around wildly, trying desperately to see whomever Travis sensed in the darkness that pressed close about them. But he couldn't see a damned thing and the vampire wasn't looking in any particular direction. Instead Travis seemed to have found something very interesting about the tops of his shoes, casually standing there with his gaze on the ground and that sizzling smile on his features. Then, without warning, a massive form ambled out of the darkness. Greg took an involuntary step backwards as his eyes locked on the massive bear of a man that seemed to spring from nowhere...another vampire obviously.

The man had to have been close to seven feet, an easy 6'6" and almost as broad. He had biceps like oaken kegs and a face like a granite crag, a long blond beard done in beaded braids hanging down his powerful chest. He wore a ratty tan trench that was nothing like Travis's elegant duster, heavy hob-nail boots, and a massive guitar case on his back. His blue-green eyes glittered with complex emotions and, suddenly, he smiled to reveal a mouth full of broken and yellowing teeth. "Travis," he said in a voice rough with a heavy Nordic accent. "It has been a long time old friend."

Now Travis's head came up, smile changing into something less mocking and far warmer. "Gunner, you look well." There was a long pause before Travis spoke again. "I suppose Maxis sent you?"

Greg watched the big man's face fall and grow stony. "Da. He told me to tell you that to kill the serpent the head must be crushed. And that he will not allow some whelp to take what is rightfully his." Gunner sighed. "He...he told me to kill you Travis. To bring him back your fangs."

Travis tapped a finger against his lips. "Well it seems we have a problem then Gunner." He spread his hands with a smile towards Gunner. "You see, I have no intention of dying and yet Maxis has no intention of letting you live if you fail to complete your mission. Am I right?"

Gunner shifted his weight uncomfortably, leather coat creaking alarmingly as the muscles in his back strained the material. "Da." He said flatly. "It's a no win situation for me. Either way, I loose."

Greg suddenly noticed that, while he'd been concentrating on the words spoken, the pair had shifted stances until they were both aggressively facing each other. Between one heartbeat and the next, Travis had his blades free of their sheaths. He'd moved so fast Greg's eyes had literally failed to catch the motion, so fast that crimson sweat beaded Gunner's forehead as his eyes widened. "By Thor!" The words fell in a hushed manner from the big man's lips. "Are you more demon than the rest of us Travis? Is your haste hell born?"

Suddenly Travis was next to Greg, a massive battle axe embedded in the sidewalk where he'd stood moments before. Without even a grunt of effort, Gunner hefted it clear with one hand and shook his head again. "Too damn fast by half. Why don't you just stand still and I'll make it quick and painless."

There was a ringing sound as Travis cut at Gunner, the big man getting a block that was more luck than skill and deflecting the deadly blade. With all the grace of a ballet dancer, Gunner pivoted and brought the axe around in a deadly swing that would have cloven Travis in two. If Travis had been there. Instead Greg saw him rising up behind Gunner, a single sword gripped double-handed. With a swift motion he brought it crashing down against the back of the big man's skull, a hollow thud echoing in the still night.

Gunner's knees went weak, his eyes rolling up in the back of his head as he lost his grip on the waking world. He thudded to the ground, Goliath to Travis's David. Travis stood there for a few moments, his breath coming in short pants. "I haven't had to move that fast in a long time." He slowly slid his sword into it's sheath and stood contemplatively over the prone form of the messenger.

Greg nervously swallowed although he had not even a drop of saliva to quench his dry throat. "Uh, shouldn't we be getting out of here before he wakes up?"

Travis looked up at him with bright, angry eyes. "This is cruel of Maxis indeed, low even for him. He knows Gunner's chances were almost none against me."

"I don't know, he looked like he was giving you a pretty damn good run for your money there at the end." Greg said quietly.

Travis snorted. "Had any one of those blows hit, I'd have been finished. Gunner has more power in him than I ever will...and it's not just a question of size. I told you before, vampirism affects different people differently. I was giving speed, not power. If I don't strike first and strike hard, I'm going to spend the whole fight evading and looking for that lucky shot."

Now that he explained it, Greg could see it. He looked from Gunner, who'd given a soft groan and begun to rouse, to where Travis was pacing. "So why aren't we leaving again?"

"Quiet human." Travis snapped, a small psychic slap accompanying his words. He looked at his hand suddenly, then back to the stirring Gunner, and back at his hand again. "Fuck him." He said suddenly, crouching down next to Gunner.

Greg had a feeling of what was going to happen an instant before it did and turned his face away. Then, morbid curiosity and the niggling doubts in his benumbed brain forced him to look back. Travis had clamped down on Gunner's neck, the big man moaning softly as his blood was drained away. Suddenly, the gorgeous vampire pulled back, laying open his own left wrist and pressing it to Gunner's mouth.

"Drink damn you. Fight Gunner!" There was a sudden crunch as Gunner's yellowed fangs bit down hard enough to snap the cartilage in Travis's wrist, causing the latter to wince in pain. "Take the Essence, leave the hand."

Gunner mumbled something, blood running in rivulets as he tried to drink too much too fast. Then, he let Travis go and sat for a moment with the most bemused expression on his face. Travis, meanwhile, lapped gently at his own wrist and watched as intently as a hawk while the flesh knitted back together and the tendons reconnected over re-fusing bones. A few moments later, he flexed it experimentally before bending down to retrieve his hat from the pavement.

Dusting it off, he'd just situated it on his head when he wobbled. He would have fallen if Gunner hadn't put out a massive hand, like a fleshy baseball mitt, and steadied the smaller man. Travis smiled at him woozily. "Well if that's not a kick in the balls." He suddenly looked at Greg.

"Take it easy Master."

"Don't call me Master, Gunner." Travis muttered, still standing shakily. "It makes me uncomfortable."

"Sir then?"

"What's wrong with just calling me Travis?"

Gunner shifted. "Well," he said softly. "It just wouldn't be right. I mean, we're not equals...you're my Master now..."

Travis pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine, call me boss if you have to. I didn't realize that a headache of epic proportions came with the deal though."

Gunner grinned broadly. "Maxis always said I caused him a headache. Speaking of Maxis...I don't think he'll be taking this too well....boss..."

"He'll rape me for this if he ever gets a hold of me."

Gunner cracked his knuckles savagely before picking up his battle axe and returning it into the guitar case. Greg was suddenly reminded of old time gangsters. Only instead of Tommy guns in violin cases, Gunner was carrying a double-headed battle axe with a shaft almost longer than Greg was tall.

"Yes Greg...he can and will break medieval on your ass." Travis took a deep breath, steadying himself. "Now before I completely fail on us all, lets meet up with Vick before he sends a search party.

Gunner chuckled. "Da boss. I can't wait to see what he says when you tell him you stole me."
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"You did WHAT?!" Greg had sank gratefully into the cushy chair in Vick's private quarters below the shop. He now hid an amused snort as his boss stared in slack-jawed shock at an utterly exhausted Travis and a smirking Gunner. He placed a hand on his hip, the other holding his forehead. "Wait, wait, wait. Let me see if I have this straight. Maxis sends out one of his Personal Guard to deal with you and rather than dust the asshole when you have a shot you go and freaking STEAL him?! You break a Master/Turn bond and STEAL a thousand year old viking warrior from a Prince who's already very pissed off at you. And just because you're old friends?!"

Vick collapsed in a chair next to Greg, vigorously rubbing his temples. "On top of that, we've got a Collateral situation on our hands and trust me. Word on the web is he's under your 'Protection'."

"Actually, Greg belongs to you in all technicalities Vick. You hired him, his under your employee. I couldn't very well have him harmed without seeming rather gauche now could I?"

"Travis. This is your demesne. You can do whatever the fuck you want and there isn't shit I can do about it."

Travis leveled a smoldering gaze at Vick, restraining Gunner with a flick of a hand. "I am not the type to pull the old 'lord of the manor' shit Greg. Never have, never will. I wasn't born noble, wasn't bred noble, and still can't be bothered to give a flying shit about nobility. Greg is yours, yours alone. You decide what to do with him."

Greg felt a chill in the room as three vampires stared at him, shivering despite himself. Now he knew how an entree felt. Travis chuckled. "I don't think anyone here has the intention of feeding off you."

Gunner cleared his throat. "Boss, maybe you should consider eating something."

Vick nodded. "You've expended a lot of energy tonight Travis. In your current condition, a week old Turn could walk in and dust you." Gunner growled and Vick hastily added, "or maybe not. But you've still got to eat."

"Vick I'm not..."

"Look, you can't afford to be fussy right now. I've got three warm bodies on the premises and so what if they're not your usual top-shelf stuff. They're blood Travis, something you're rather short of right now. Hell, you could have Lina, Emerald, and Greg if that's what it took to get you tanked back up."

Travis snorted. "Some choices. Emerald sleeps around too much, Lina expects me to hand her a pair of fangs, and your new boy here is as gay as a San Francisco street parade."

"Really?" Greg flushed as he felt Vick staring at him again, not quite liking the appraising tone in his boss's voice. "Still, it's what's at hand."

As silence fell, Greg felt his heart speeding up and icy fingers stroking his spine. Obviously Travis saw the necessity of the situation. The only question was...who was he going to choose?
------------------------------------------

Alright. Somebody's getting bit in the next chapter and whoever he bites Travis is going to end up with their memories. So I guess the question is...who's head do you want inside of?
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I hope you all liked this!

Hak · Joined: 10 Sep 2006 Posts: 247 Location: hell

Greg! bite Greg..... just to make more tension between them!!!

scissorkitty · Joined: 04 Mar 2008 Posts: 453 Location: Bottom of a teapot

Hmm. I want it to be Greg so we learn more about him, but he seems like such an obvious choice! Also, with Travis' comment about Greg being "as gay as a San Francisco street parade.", it seems like Travis has a little aversion to biting him.

Maybe Travis does have some weird aversion to biting Greg, but not due to sexual preference.. maybe there's something else about Greg that makes Travis uneasy?

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

Nice. I like this Vamp story. Except the fight scene; it had too much of a movie/anime/Matrix component for my taste.

Quote: I couldn't very well have him harmed without seeming rather gauche now could I?"

gauche? left in French?

I would have chosen Emerald. And so, is Greg gay or not? Travis clearly isn't.

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 8:36 pm Post subject:

Gauche also means lacking social experiance or grace. Or awkward. It's not just left in French. *winks*

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 4314 Location: UK

I'm no vampire story aficionado, but I do enjoy the more interesting ones occasionally. And so far this one is keeping my interest.

I've already mentioned it to you in chat, but now I've read it, I want to draw your attention again to Waxy's comments. They are correct from my point of view too. Apart from the gay tomantic, action comedy, I'll leave that to you. ;) The chatty tone in some of the lengthier descriptions, and various little unneccessary typos are distracting, and can be caught with a more careful edit, rather than being in a hurry to post. Your story would be the better for it.

One quickie... I really hate the following device in a story :

Quote: He had no idea that in a few short hours, shit would hit the fan.

Almost nothing could be more tacky, immersion breaking or inappropriate to a story in my eyes. Please try to avoid it. We'll know the shit has hit the fan, when it happens. Not half a chapter earlier.

~

The questions were interesting, and I feel the style of mind-reading and answering was inspired. You did some truly lovely dialogue scenes. The only thing I think went too far was his detailing the limitiations of his powers so matter-of-fact-ly. This seems wrong, however much I enjoy reading descriptions of powers myself.

~

There's a lot of things right with this story Kalanna, work hard to continue them and try to drop your bad habits of old.

As for the DP. Tough one. I'd like to Greg bitten, but it's not a decision point from my point of view, but Travis's. He seems highly against all except Tina, whom he seems only to be against because of her excessive desire to be turned. Simply feed from her and don't give her fangs (if that works). As he already has fangs of his own, the imbuing of such desires from his feeding won't effect him much, and othersides of her personality will be interesting to see.

Happy Writing :)

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 5:56 am Post subject:

Okay, sorry I'm late, back to helping out on this. I noticed something in one of the chappies, not sure which one, but I'm sure you can find it if nessacary. If soemone else alreadyu ppointed this out, sorry.
Quote: Thus, I know many vampiers
Is he adding slang to it, or is that suposed to be vampires?

Now, as for the dp, I say none of them. Add a nwe character. Maybe an old pal of Travis's, that, or like a sibling of gregs. I could see a little sister walking in a yelling. "Oh Greg! Where are you! I found something of your's at my place!" Of somethign along those lines. Anyway, I'll sum it up, add someone new, I'd like it to be female , but that isn't required in the poll. Hope I helped add a possible twist!

scissorkitty · Joined: 04 Mar 2008 Posts: 453 Location: Bottom of a teapot

Oo!

I really like NoNi's idea! A new character could be a lot of fun. Someone from Greg's past, so we get an outside look at his story, since Travis will get the memories.

A sibling, a friend, an ex (or current!) lover... hmm. Greg could even offer this other person up, perhaps.

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

Shit, just bite Lina and leave her for dead. She'll stop annoying him.

sir wax · Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:09 pm Post subject:

@ Smee,
I rather enjoyed the shit about to hit the fan line, see to me, this story has to have a smidge of humor or else it gets to dull. Throwing in a line like that reminds the viewership or readership to remember the style in which it is presented. IMO.

However the only thing wrong with the way it was presented, is the POV. Because as i've said before, Rai is doing something different than i've seen POV used. When she wrote that part, i could easily see Greg walking home happy in slow-motion with a glow on his face thinking how great the future will be... then the narrator chimes in telling the exact opposite would be happening soon. To me that is perfect.

@ Ninka,
"Vampiers" is another way to say 'vampires', i don't know if Rai meant it though. "Vampiers" is a more old way to say it, like the old Nosferatu and Dracula. However it still existed widely during the beginning of America, which is when i believe Travis was kissed.

@Rai,
I wish the fight scene was a bit more, it seemed it was too easy for Travis. Though i get why it was done, i wanted a badder-ass messenger. One that gave Travis a run for his fangys. I do dig Gunner though, a shout out to Little John from Robin Hood. When Travis broke the bond, i believe it could have been handled more delicately. The 'Master' thing happens too quickly i think, i think if you maybe give it a bit more time for it to sink into Gunner, then it would be nice. To me Gunner would still help him. Maybe something like this:
sir wrote: .... Travis smiled at him woozily. "Well if that's not a kick in the balls." He suddenly looked at Greg.

"Travis... You didn't." Gunner's rough leathered face slowly turned into something that resembled more of Travis; as wrinkles and dead grey started to fade. Greg could only look in awe as he saw the slight shift in the behemoth.

Gunner lifted his other arm to look at this hand, only to see his mummified palm turn into something more alive. He turned gradually toward Travis as his old eyes struggled to find words. "M- Ma- M a s t e r."

"Don't call me Master, Gunner." Travis muttered, still standing shakily. "It makes me uncomfortable."

"Sir then?" Gunner lifted Travis up so he could stand more steadily.
Imho, i believe this is needed to see the shift of the bond between masters. While show this a little bit, it needed to be a bit more to show the gravity of the situation that just transpired, which later on is discussed. But with something right here, it is shown. Now, it doesn't need to be shown that way, it was just an example.

Also, the POV is getting a bit claustrophobic. Maybe it's just me, but if i were you i would find a way to switch the narration style in an important upcoming event. Not necessarily next chapter but soon. I want to see what Maxis castle looks like, the creatures who live there. With this POV, you are not able to do so quickly. It would need to be a reason for this switch. Such as a person on the other side that Greg knows or Travis knows, showing us the world of Maxis, immersing us in that world for a bit through someone elses eyes, then taking it away by coming back to Greg telling a wide eyed Travis of his dream; Travis knowing that it's not a dream at all. Or something like that. I don't know, all i know is that its starting to feel a bit constrained in this world and you need to open it up a bit soon, preferably during a very pivotal point of the storygame.

That's all i got for ya. :smile: Keep up the good work, you've got a great thing going here!

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:51 pm Post subject:

Okay dokay, poll is up for three days. Vote away!

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:50 am Post subject:

I just noticed something was wrong with the poll. It doubled the first three options and completely deleted the fourth. I also cannot fix it. Will PM CF about a solution.

If you want one of the three listed options, then vote. If you want option four 'New Female character' please say so.

Thanks and sorry.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Have brought it to Key's attention - Thanks Rai.

Voters - Please vote as Rai has indicated - and if you see any strangeness when you vote, please mention it here.

Cheers
CF

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:07 am Post subject:

New female character! :lol:

sir wax · Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:51 am Post subject:

voted for Emerald since we do not know her enough and Paulina is a friggin joke, wanna-be. And if he sucks from Paulina, he's gonna absorb some of that wanna-be essence.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

Adalia · Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 210

New female character.

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:27 pm Post subject:

Heh, three way tie...one of which was for the invisible fourth option. Since you left it up to me, I'm going to pick.... Enjoy!
--------------------------

Chapter Five: Hells Bells

Greg's mouth went dry as a bone as the gazes of three vampires fixed on him. He shifted uncomfortably in the chair, brain scrambling as he tried to think up some way that would see him through to the dawn without him becoming a hot lunch. He gripped the arms of the chair to keep his hands from shaking as his thoughts collided like a novice skateboarder and the pavement. He forced himself to calm down, wiping his shaking palms on his jeans. He doesn't want to bite me, Travis doesn't want to bite me. He's going to pick someone else.

"Have any suggestions, I'm open to options at this point."

Greg's head jerked up as he realized the vampire had answered his unspoken thoughts once again. "Will you stop doing that! It freaks me out." He pointedly ignored Travis's weary chuckle as his thoughts turned over to possible blood donors. "So you like artists?"

"Yesss..." The word was slowly spoken, a breathy hiss that held a questioning note.

An image popped into Greg's brain and he instantly shoved it away. He wasn't going to serve Shelly up to a vampire on a silver platter.

"What, I don't rate the good silver?"

Greg glared impotently across the room. "Stop it Travis. It's not funny so quit flaunting your 'I'm so amazing' mental abilities."

Gunner growled low in his throat, instantly making Greg forget he'd ever possessed courage. "Boss, are you sure you just don't want to bite this one and get it over with?"

Travis gave Gunner an unreadable look that had the other vampire looking very sheepish. "I would rather run a cheese grater over my elbow or chew on a lovely piece of tinfoil." His attention suddenly swung to Greg as he sat up a little straighter. "Now, who is this Shelly?"

Greg sighed. It didn't matter if he told Travis or not, the guy would probably just pick the details out of his head. Head in hands, he quietly mumbled the details out. "She's an old friend. Shelly Vengate, you might have heard of her. You're artsy after all."

Travis nodded, smile on his face. "Indeed, I've actually had the pleasure of meeting her not all that long ago. She attended my opening." His gaze intensified, the scrutiny unbearable. "She would do nicely."

Greg's shoulders sagged. Could he really do this? Offer Shelly up to save his skin?

"You already have. Welcome to our world Greg. It's not as beautiful as people think. You have to be very selfish to survive any length of time. Now, are you going to lure her here or am I going to have to send Gunner to fetch her old world style?"

Greg looked around helplessly, realizing there was nothing he could do. His self loathing was evident as he took the phone from Vick, barely noticing his boss's sympathetic smile. His fingers shook as he dialed in the number he knew by heart, biting his lip to keep his brain from going blank. Putting the phone to his ear, he was sweating, his heart hammering in his chest. Then she picked up and his nerve nearly failed him.

'Hello?'

"Sh...Shelly."

'Greg? Is this you Greg?'

"Yeah Shels, it's me. Hey listen, I'm in a bit of trouble and I could use your help. My new boss is a real bloodsucking bastard and, well...can you come bail me out?"

He could picture her quizzical expression as he listened to her voice. 'Bail you out? How?'

"You know, just walk in acting VIP and give me a glowing performance review to my boss? So he doesn't like chew me out...please Shels, I'm begging...." His hysteria had worked it's way into his words, his fear. He bit it back, damage already done.

'It sounds like he's really hitting you hard Greg. I know you need the work but...'

"Please Shels..."

'I'm on my way. Gimme the address.'

He couldn't have felt lower as he hung up the phone after giving her directions. He glared at Travis, who was busy staring fixedly at the ceiling. I hope you're happy you bastard.

"No I'm not happy, I'm hungry. The need to sustain myself with mortal blood will, from time to time, override my better judgement. Especially when I've a very pissed Prince wanting to detach my head from my body...permanently. So forgive the lengths I'll go through to prevent that from happening." Travis reclined a little further before adding in an offhand manner. "And just for the record, my parents had a very nice church wedding long before I was born. My mother even wore white legitimately."

Gunner chuckled and Greg shifted uncomfortably again as Vick's attention swung to him. "Bloodsucking bastard eh? I can't argue with either part of that statement but did you have to be so vehement about it? C'mon, I'm not that bad a guy am I?"

"Present company considered, no."

"And what have I done to you boy?" Gunner's massive bulk shifted as he moved the guitar case concealing his axe to a more comfortable position. "Back in my day, something like you would never have been tolerated. You should have been killed at birth." The Viking's snarled words earned him a mild rebuke from Travis in the form of some kind of mental slap if the giant's sudden shocked look was any indicator. "Sorry ma...boss..."

"Apologize to him Gunner. You're opinions are about a thousand years out of date."

"But Travis..."

"Apologize." Travis's flat tone brooked no argument.

Gunner turned stiffly to Greg and made a very stiff and formal bow. "I humbly apologize sir."

Greg sat silently for a moment before Vick elbowed him lightly and hissed 'say something' in his ear. "Uh, it's alright Gunner. I...I get that a lot. Well, not the killed at birth part but there are quite a few folks out there that don't find people like me adequate company." Indeed, he was rather surprised that Travis had insisted on an apology given his own opinions.

"You know nothing of my opinions Greg. Being gay is only one of many reasons I'd rather not avail myself of your Essence. To be quite honest, you don't seem that appetizing to me. Not hot, not cold, not lukewarm. Just not something I'd want to eat even when starving." He cocked his head suddenly. "Speaking of meals, would you please entice miss Vengate down here."

Greg's knees were wobbling too badly for him to stand, his gut doing flip-flops as his guilt threatened to crush him. From upstairs beyond the beaded curtain, Emerald's sultry voice announced the arrival of the VIP. Vick cracked his knuckles. "Time to be menacing I suppose. What should I be pissed off at him about, any suggestions?"

Travis laughed. "He opened my package."

Vick grinned nastily. "Good enough for me." He cleared his throat and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were black pits of fury. "HOW COULD YOU! I TRUSTED YOU, STUCK MY NECK OUT FOR YOU! AND WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Greg shrank back, babbling in a way that wasn't entirely forced. Some small part of him was amazed he wasn't seeing fangs in Vick's mouth, he kept looking for them. Of course, he was still trying to believe that this was all some sadistic dream he would be waking up from any minute...then Shelly arrived.

She came striding down the stairs like some vengeful angel, blond hair shimmering like a cape around her shoulders. "Excuse me, but are you the owner of this establishment?"

Vick straightened up and nodded. "I am. What can I do for you?"

Shelly walked over, hands on hips. "You can stop treating that man like crap. He happens to be a close, personal friend of mine and..." Her eyes suddenly fixed with Travis's. "You...what are you doing here?"

Travis slowly stood. "I was watching Victor here chew the ass of an employee that opened something designated for me. But if he's a friend of yours I think that we can overlook things. But how did you know young Greg was in trouble?"

Shelly looked slightly off balance but settled for this 'I don't answer to anyone look'. "I didn't. He told me he'd gotten a job here and I came in to see how things were going for him. When I was told he was down here...I forced the girl to let me come see him." She suddenly rounded on Vick, poking a slim finger in his chest. "Now listen here. Greg is a kind, wonderful, hard working, driven, talented, honest individual. You couldn't find a better person..."

She broke off as Travis suddenly grabbed hold of her, staring at her with an apologetic smile. "You may want to reconsider your opinion of him in a moment miss." Before she could quite comprehend what was going on, Travis's fangs were buried up to the gum line in her neck.

Greg couldn't help himself, he passed out...
----------------------------

Travis wiped the his mouth on the back of his hand, shaking his head as Shelly slid bonelessly from his grasp. He caught Vick's worried look and smiled. "She's just asleep, I told you I wasn't that bad."

Vick shrugged. "You can't blame me for worrying. I don't like explaining away corpses. Especially well known ones." He looked at Shelly. "She is well known isn't she?"

Travis sighed. "Yes. She's a shining star in the art world actually. She's more visible than I am and thus better known. Although I've got a bit more of an established reputation than she does." He smiled suddenly. "She's also a fan, I'd have never known."

Vick rolled his eyes. "Well THAT makes everything all better doesn't it." He put his hands on his hips and stared at the two passed out humans. "Well...what am I supposed to do with them? Got any answers for that smart guy?"

Travis sat down at Vick's laptop, opening his e-mail in a few easy clicks. "I don't know Vick." He said as his eyes scanned the digital messages. "Be creative."

"Oh hell, easy for you to say. What are we going to tell the girl when she wakes up? Or are you planning on another Collateral situation?"

Travis didn't reply, his entire attention focused on the message that opened to fill the screen. His muscles stiffened as the lines of digital text burned themselves into his retinas. "Vick, I've got bigger problems than a pair of Collaterals." He spun the computer around. "Take a a look at this."

Slowly Vick and a curious Gunner leaned down to look at the glowing words, then shared an 'oh shit' glance. Vick looked over the top of the monitor to where Travis and shook his head. "I hate to say I told you so but..."

"Da, Maxis is not pleased. He will send Preacher for you now."

Travis looked at the pair of them, then looked at the ceiling. "Fuck. Now what the hell do I do."

Vick walked over and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'd suggest it's time to start calling in favors...and backup."

Travis smiled sardonically at Vick. "Any suggestions Victor?"

Vick looked at him flatly. "The Cowboy, AngelMaker, or Kid Death. This is Preacher we're talking about after all."

Travis shook his head. "I should never have gotten out of the business."
---------------------------------------

So who does he call?
-----------------------------

Okay, I realize there's not a whole lot for you to base your choice on but I can't exactly ramble on with backstories in this chapter, as much as you'd want them. There's also the issue of Greg and now Shelly. They're Collateral and major danger factors Travis has to deal with. Suggestions on what he does are welcome. Hope you enjoyed!

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

*shrugs* call'em all, why not?

Greg and Shelly? Leave'em with Vick and keep them low profile. Shelly will be handling Greg quite well when she wakes up, I think.
:shock:

Novelest_Ninjagirl · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 7:54 am Post subject:

Nice. I got to admit, I was on the edge of my seat he whole time. OH, and now the victory dance for my suggestion being choosen*dances* ojkkay, back to the sane person. Anyway, If there were any spelling mistakes, they didn't pop out at me. I seriously like how this story is coming along. As for the DP, I like the 'all of them' thing. I mean, come on, he needs help, get all that youcan! As for Greg and Shelly, I say Shellygonna need something explained to her, and greg. . .keep him out cold. Keep this tory coming! This thing ROCKS!

Head of the Guard · Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Posts: 14 Location: Guardhouse

I agree with NaNo. Good intro with Shelley.

Call AngelMaker. He has the coolest name.

Greg will come with Travis, and Shelley will attempt to leave, but be stopped by Vick who keeps her there for... explanations I suppose.

Great Great Great SG.

DeadManWalking · Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 620 Location: San Francisco

I F5 Head

AngelMaker does have the coolest name.

I would also like to say that this is...

*clearing throat*

AWESOME

:)

I would also like to note a couple things that confused me a bit over the whole of the story.

It was said before that the Kukri was just a kukri.

So why did Travis need it?
And why before sunset?
and what was all that about, "Do you have any idea of what you've done?"

Something else that seemed sorta off.

Travis says that he can only get general thoughts, not specific mind reading.

Yet he somehow picks out Shelly's name specifically, instead of a girl.

Besides those things, this was really good.

EDIT: i forgot to say this before, but "gay as a San Fransisco street parade"?!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!

:(

EDIT #2: (For some reason, I keep on pressing Submit, then thinking of something else to say immediately afterwards)

About calling them all... Travis seems like the kind of person who would want to minimize the debts he owes to others. I don't think he would want to call all of them.

That's just my impression though.
I could be totally and completly wrong.

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:09 pm Post subject:

Heh. Travis is old, not politically correct. And as to why Travis got 'Shelly' instead of 'girl'...well that's something you'll find out later.

Same with the knife. It's all upcoming.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3724 Location: Hollywood, USA

Quote: He gripped the arms of the chair to keep his hands from shaking as his thoughts collided like a novice skateboarder and the pavement.

I don't know what others think of this simile, but I was somewhat astonished by its extraneous nature. The only relation between the skater and Greg's thoughts is the colliding; a simile needs more connections to make it superb. And if the simile is poorly related, then you might as well not include it.

The other thing that bothered me was Greg's cowardice, which was partly engendered by the last decision point vote. I lose more and more sympathy for this character as the chapters progress. Travis, on the other hand, becomes center stage; so much so, that it makes me wonder why you started out with Greg as the main character- now you don't know where to go with him, and you are asking the reader to figure it out.

As for the DP... it lacks substance. This is not a good DP, as I am sure you realize. I would rather read the background to these characters than flounder on an empty DP. Call all three, I guess; this is Preacher we're talking about.