City of IF

sir wax

Have Pencil Will Travel. Pencil for hire. ™

Need help with story development before you post your new SG?

I am your knight in tarnished armor.

Just because other people, creatures and beings choose which way you go, doesn't mean you shouldn't have a plan. I will help you to make better DP's by setting you in the correct motion of your end point.

Finalizing your SG? Or need to inject new life in your already established (but now flailing or defunct) SG?

I am also at your service... as well as mine.

I can give chapter by chapter reviews, as well as overview and main points to change. I will analyze what your story is REALLY about and help you set up what you need to finish your game. And in style. :gun:

Here's what some had to say about my comments so far:
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"I have to give the Jester Park Prize to sir wax for this comment:
sir wax wrote: i also think that the bear claw is where the essence of a bear is. Why else would they name a pastry after it? :rofl:" ~ Key (on his Wheel story The Archer's Quest)
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"Sir Wax thank you soooooooooooooooo much for all this fantastic feedback! This is what SGing is about! And your crit about the synthesizer is great! I may use that in the final copy! I love it! " ~ Lilith (on her If story, Vengeance)
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"Wax. Thank you. You seemed to hav picked up on the feel of this piece perfectly . You are right about the colours - i just couldn't pull them from my mind into the words.
I shall rework the passages and PM them to you if that is ok." ~ Ne (on her tale, Enigma)
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Now obviously, i will do free crit's to whomever i read while gaming myself, so you may get my services for free, however, applying for my services ensures you i will read your story.

PRICES

It depends on the person or creature applying and the amount of work in my services i would have to detail. So this is how it works. You show me the work first, then i make an estimate. You can choose to take the estimate, discard the estimate or negotiate.

Development: No fables? No problem. Base fee is 100 fables and development credit on your piece and you do not have to pay in advance. However, depending on the complexity and details you would like... it will change. I might not want development credit, i might not want 100 fables for my services; i might lower the price. On certain occasions i will raise the price, but not without discussing it with you and giving you a good reason why, if i raise it, you will earn triple the fables with your story. I guarantee it.

Chapters or story review BEFORE posting on If: This will cost you depending on the difficulty i have reading the piece. If it's longer i will charge more, if it's shorter i will charge less. However, if it's an easy read with little mistakes, my estimate goes down and i will refund you fables if i have less to say. If the piece has many mistakes and i had a hard time reading it and had to rephrase A LOT of sentences or other things, my estimate will raise and as i said i will discuss with you why. If you discard my changes or feedback, then you may ask for a refund. As long as you place your honor that you will not use it later on, and if you do, contact me to see if i will charge you or not.

Chapters or story review AFTER posting on If: This will cost you considerably less and one in which i prefer. Why? Because i will be able to post my comments and get fables for them on my own. So what this option does is guarantee that i will read it and comment on it. Again, it depends a lot on how much i need read in order to catch up. I will however, refund entire fee based on my fondness of the story and how much i have to say about it in the comments.

Summarized VS Detailed: Overviews will be cheaper than Detailed; when applying for any chapter review you must choose whether i will give you a summary of critiques of chapters OR give you a detailed review pointing out every single thing that i caught. This will highly effect your estimate and how much time i spend on your piece. I will give refunds depending on how much i give. I will try to get rid of any blaring grammar problems with detailed reviews but, i usually throw in some details in summarized reviews.

Payment: This will be done on a case by case basis, you are an individual and i will treat you as such. This is how it usually goes down: If you accept my estimate, i will begin reading. I then will make a summarized or a detailed review depending on what you chose to apply for (it is during this process that i will lower or raise my estimate and discuss why with you). When i'm done i'll tell you how much to actually donate. Once i have payment, i will post or pm you with my review depending on what services you chose. If you have no fables to start, don't worry, we can work out a payment plan depending on what services you choose. You can donate over time as your story develops.

Refunds: I'm a giving guy. So if you think you deserve a refund for my services, speak up and declare your reasons why. I also give random refunds to beings whom i feel are worthy of them... If i like your story and become a regular reader, you will probably get a refund over time.

Terms of Service: As i said before, give me credit except where i ask you not to. If you decide to publish it in a forum other than the City of If, just let me know. Not too hard is it?

Alrighty then. Have Pencil Will Travel. Pencil for hire.™ is now open for business.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

sir wax · Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:46 pm Post subject: UPDATE!!

This just in... 5 days ago. Have Pencil Will Travel. Pencil for hire.™ is now the AWARD WINNING!!! Have Pencil Will Travel. Pencil for hire.™ idea/writing/editing services.

Go to Hall of Heroes to see the other awards given out.

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2409

Waxy, not everyone can see the 'Hall of Heroes' thread. It's in a hidden forum.

sir wax · Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:03 pm Post subject:

way to get my hopes up Whitey!

and don't spam in my place of business please... i've got lots to do. *knocks dust off desk, looks out business window as a tumble weed drift by his storefront*

*clenches fists anxiously for customer* lots to do *sighs*

:smile:

Argon18 · Joined: 27 Sep 2005 Posts: 156 Location: California

Well since I already posted in the Critique Corner and got no takers for free. I guess I should pony up for a detailed review of An Angel's Destiny since it's not like I ever use the fables for anything else.

So let me know what you come up with for a detailed review of all the chapters since I'm always up for some feedback on how to improve it.

sir wax · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:44 am Post subject:

Argon18 wrote: Well since I already posted in the Critique Corner and got no takers for free. I guess I should pony up for a detailed review of An Angel's Destiny since it's not like I ever use the fables for anything else.

So let me know what you come up with for a detailed review of all the chapters since I'm always up for some feedback on how to improve it.

this looks good, i'll PM you my estimate.

sir wax · Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 6:19 am Post subject:

*stares at his newly won award, feeling like he's on top of the world*
:smile:
*walks over to his award shelf, wipes it clean, and places the QuEasy Award delicately on it as he starts getting teary eyed*

*sniffling back the tears of joy* th- they even spelled my name right! *sighs* I love this place.

Argon18 · Joined: 27 Sep 2005 Posts: 156 Location: California

I'm not sure maybe his reviews only work for quick and easy stories. Alright as a sprinter but not so good for the marathons.

Good thing I only paid for the 1st chapter since that's all I've gotten so far, nice for an introduction but the meat of the story started in the 3rd chapter.

I'm waiting to see if it more than just a flash in the pan and has the stamina to finish.

sir wax · Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:54 am Post subject:

:mad: :lol:

Jeez Argon, in my own store? Thats okay, i forgive you since i have neglected you. The reason why you only paid for the first chapter, i might add for those in the store right now, is because i made the deal like that, for your benefit. Not to mention that you are not my only customer. I will give you a fully detailed crit down to the 't' by the end of this weekend, then you can look it over and you can pay me what you think its worth because you had to wait so long and because i honestly did neglect your work.

Now, you can't get a better deal than that now, can you? :smile:

Then, you can come here and tell me if my review is crap or not, and if i am a flash in a pan.... or if i can go the distance. Hahaha. Sound fair? Good.

You're lucky nobody comes to my storefront... or i'd be mmmaaaaaddddd!

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

Argon18 · Joined: 27 Sep 2005 Posts: 156 Location: California

Well you did ask me to Quote: leave me a post at my place of business in the Market Bizarre. and you didn't answer my last PM I sent on 4/12/08 so I figured this might get more attention.

I only made the point that maybe your other customers have the "quick and easy" stories, I'm still waiting to see if you can handle more challenging assignments before I judge your performance.

I know I haven't been able to post mine with any regularity, but I thought reviewing them would be easier than writing them.

Were you thrown off by the equations in the cases Minerva was givien as assignments? They were supposed to be confusing toshow that even though Minerva was in over her head she was determined to give it her all and she would learn to understand what they meant as the story went along.

sir wax · Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:37 pm Post subject:

Shhhh!

Don't ruin it i haven't even got there yet you! I told you i have neglected your work. Now you get to set the price.

And btw, my clients aren't quick and easy, my writing is. :P

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

sir wax · Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:15 am Post subject:

Okay, just finished the second chapter and the first step of my reviewing process and came back here because i thought i read something:

Argon wrote: ... I thought reviewing them would be easier than writing them.

Let me dispel this thought from your head. If i were to review your story like Roper and Ebert, yes it would be. Since, however, i am doing a full critique, which sometimes includes massive reconstruction from the foundation (story, plot, prose, characters, etc.), it does take a lot of time, especially when you are trying to find what can be done to make it better, what is missing, what is flawed, what doesn't work at all and articulate it in a way that the writer can fully understand. How i approach every story, is to see it be great. I could slap together a 'basic' review and ask for fablege, but that wouldn't do much for you, and i wouldn't want to do that.

One of my writing mentors said something that i will never forget: "Writing... is Re-Writing" Meaning that no matter how good an idea is, it won't mean squat if you don't take the time to make that idea work, and work well. And that takes the most time of all.

I changed my mind about reviewing all of your chapters this weekend as i forgot there were three parts to Chapter 4, and i don't want to wear myself too thin. By the end of this weekend I will give you a review of the 2nd and 3rd which, from the looks of my step one on chappy 2 review, should keep you busy editing and re-writing for 2 weeks, maybe a month.

Argon wrote: Were you thrown off by the equations in the cases Minerva was given as assignments? No, i understood those quite well and why they were there, i will PM you a suggestion to make those a little better too at the end of this weekend.

'Till then.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 4316 Location: UK

Once you have finished with Argon's work, feel free to contact me.

Depending on how ... ambitious you are, I'd like a detailed review of either Beyond the Dark, or The Time Before. The later requiring significantly more time on your behalf.

Get in touch, but no great hurry :)

The Dark · Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 110 Location: Tome.

The Dark will pay 700Fables for an in depth critique of The Dark.

sir wax · Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 11:14 pm Post subject:

*receives a flat package by his storefront door, no return address*

Hmmm, wonder what this could be?

I wasn't expecting anything... hopefully, its a bomb of some sort.

*unwraps it quickly at the thought, as his eyes widen*

*smiles* Oh yay! Not as good as an explosion, but it will do. :smile:

*grins as he dips his newly acquired quill in ink, and draws himself a hammer and two semi-crooked nails*

Mmm, a penny from heaven.

*hammers nail into wall and gently places plaque on it, then steps back to see it fully*

*straightens it just right and then jumps over and passes out on his Laz-E-Boy*

Chinaren · Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 6:24 am Post subject:

Dragonite · Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:51 pm Post subject:

:-o how many awards do you have???? :x

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 4316 Location: UK

Not a speed award ;)

Chinaren · Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 3:20 am Post subject:

Dragonite wrote: :-o how many awards do you have???? :x

You can check people's awards by clicking on their name and looking in their profile Drag.