City of IF

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Pain.

Throbbing pain. It pounded in a steady rhythm through his head, gradually synchronising with a blinking light that filtered through the redness of his tightly closed eyelids.

Shaun turned over, his muscles complaining at the effort this involved. The movement caused a sudden nausea, and his stomach readied itself for a good hurl. His eyes snapped open in an attempt to stop the room spinning.

“Owww…” he moaned, as the flashing light stabbed into his eyes, and he shut them tightly again, causing his head to start spinning again. Realising the nausea was less tolerable than the light, Shaun reluctantly accepted that the time had come to wake up.

He cursed his own stupidity. Every year he went through this, an evening never remembered, followed by a deathly hangover. Something nagged at the back of his mind that by now he really ought to know better.

Squinting at his surroundings, Shaun was relieved to find that he had at least made it to his bedroom this time, although not quite as far as his bed. He raised his head from the floor and stared about the darkened room, thankful that the thick, heavy blue curtains were doing their job at keeping the morning sunlight out.

He looked around for the source of the flashing light. It was coming from his laptop, which was lying on the dark blue carpet beside him. The screen was blank and three simple words flashed across it in white letters.

“You have mail.”

Shaun frowned and sat up slowly, holding his pounding head delicately between his hands. His neck felt too weak to hold the weight of his skull, so he carefully tilted his head to one side, resting it on his left hand, whilst reaching towards his keyboard with the right.

Before he touched anything, the screen flickered to life. The display was something that looked like a forum index, but somehow more complex. He recoiled at the relative brightness of the soft, silvery grey background and green text, waiting for his eyes to get used to the glare.

His recollection of registering on this site was vague. Like the rest of his antics during the beer-drenched evening before, he couldn’t remember how he’d managed it, or even why he’d bothered, especially with the account name he’d managed to come up with.

“Oh Jesus,” he groaned his annual post-St. Patrick’s day prayer, “Remind me never to go drinking again…”

Staring back at the screen, Shaun noticed a little pop-up window had appeared. He’d received his first private message!

Leaning forward he tapped the link for his private inbox, and raised his eyebrows at the message title. It came from someone called Key, whoever that might be.

“Welcome to IF, Sucker,” it said.

This took Shaun by surprise. Usually welcome notes were a little friendlier than this. Still, unperturbed, he opened the message… and then really wished he hadn’t.

- - -

The screen of his laptop rippled momentarily, and from it a velvety blackness expanded and enveloped him, spinning him hopelessly faster and faster. He felt his form stretch to ridiculous proportions as he was literally sucked into the computer’s screen. He felt a sickening feeling of falling - the nausea he’d experienced when closing his eyes had nothing on this, and he yelled for all he was worth.

At last his guts could take it no longer, and the remains of the last pint of beer forced itself upwards and he vomited forth into the void.

- - -

Solid ground hit him with a thud. Once more, Shaun turned over, and opened his eyes. To his surprise, he was no longer in his bedroom. Placing his hands on the concrete paving slabs he pushed himself upwards and sat back on his heels, gazing around in wonder.

He was in a large, empty city square, surrounded by enormous buildings of black stone, their beautifully sculpted towers silhouetted against a warm, orange sky.

Shaun gaped at the sight. He’d always imagined IF to look like this. He’d lurked on the site long enough to understand it a little, and long enough to realise that something didn’t seem right.

Where were the creatures? Where were the fairies, wizards, dragons, daemons? The bizarre inhabitants of IF were conspicuously absent from this scene, and it made him feel nervous.

Gradually, Shaun got to his feet, groaning at the pain still thumping in his head, and turned a full circle. He was completely alone.

Welcome to IF, Sucker, he thought to himself. Bastards.

Adrenalin pumped through his body, dulling the pain in his head. He needed to do something. Find out where he really was, and why.

He’d barely taken a few steps when the atmosphere rippled ahead of him.

A body appeared suspended momentarily in thin air, before dropping like a stone to the ground, with a thud and an indignant cry.

Immediately, Shaun ran to help. He saw that it was a woman of fairly diminutive stature, her long brown velvety coat covering most of what looked like a dark, multicoloured, multilayered flowing skirt. She moaned as she stirred on the stone paving, her face scraped and bloody from the fall.

“Are you okay?” he asked hopefully, crouching down beside her. This question was about as far as Shaun’s first aid knowledge stretched, and he hoped it would do.

She looked up at him, then past him. Sitting up she stared wildly about her. “I’m in IF…” she breathed. She ran her hands over the paving stones, hitting them hard in disbelief. “IF is REAL!” Looking down at herself she then gasped. “…And I’m human!”

Shaun stared stupidly at the woman. She must have had a knock to the head.

“Why, shouldn’t you be?”

“Well, not here, not normally, no…” she replied, standing up and brushing herself down, “although it is rather refreshing not having to assume various amphibian forms at the whims of other’s imaginations. Still, partly my fault for registering as Crunchyfrog, I suppose.”

Shaun shook his head. She really wasn’t making any sense.

“Look,” he said, “I need some help… you said we’re in IF. I really think I may have come here by mistake and I want to go home. You see, I registered by accident when I was drunk and I got this PM…”

“Welcome to IF, Sucker?”

“Yes…”

“Strange, I got that too. Strange because I’m not a newbie, and strange because you don’t get sucked into your computer screen every day. Wow, coming to IF in human form, eh?” she smiled to herself. “I reckon some people are going to have a hard time dealing with that, hehe…”

Shaun was perplexed. Clearly this person had not yet grasped the reality of the situation. “Well, if you’re not a newbie, can you tell me what’s going on?” he cried. “Can’t you take me to someone in charge?”

The woman smiled for a moment, and then her expression turned serious.

“I’ve got good news and bad news, Newbie. The good news is that I am in charge. Apparently, anyway. My name is…” she hesitated for a moment. “Actually, since we’re in IF, perhaps we’d better stick to registered names. You can call me Crunchyfrog. What’s yours?”

Shaun thought of his chosen registered name and turned bright red. It was highly embarrassing. He tried to swing the subject back again.

“And the bad news?”

“Ah, yes the bad news. The bad news is… I’ve not the foggiest idea what is going on.”

Shaun yelled out in exasperation, his voice echoing off the buildings surrounding the square. He was trapped in an empty city inside his computer with a mad woman. What could possibly go wrong next?

The air around them shimmered again, and another human form materialised in mid air, before dropping to the ground like a stone a few yards away from them.

Shaun looked to Crunchyfrog. “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve no idea,” she replied. “If we’re appearing in IF in human form it’s unlikely that we’ll recognise one another. Let’s go and find out…”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The next person to post will be that human form.

Please read HERE before posting.

The POV is from Shaun. POV switches to yours or anyone else's character will be brutally deleted!

No magic. No special powers. No uberness. We are humans in this story. Shaun is the star of the story - we are just the strange characters he encounters on his journey, nothing more!

Start posting in any order you like. This chapter should contain 3 more new arrivals and a mission to discover where in the city we are.

Are you ready? Start posting! :D
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

Shaun followed Crunchyfrog to the other human, who was muttering to herself softly as she sat up, rubbing various sore spots from her fall.

"Ow, ow, owies....The next time I get a PM from Key, I'm.. -" She stopped muttering for a moment and looked around at her surroundings, her long, slightly wavy auburn hair falling in her face as she looked about.

"Still no idea who that is, Crunchyfrog?" Shaun leaned over and said in Crunchy's ear. He was very worried now that someone may have spiked his drink with something, besides liquor. He also worried that his dogs might tear his room apart at home in Real Life, but he had no clue whatsoever of how to get back to RL.

"Haven't the foggiest. Ask her, I don't think she'll bite -" Crunchyfrog was cut-off as the girl let out a shriek of surprise.

"AH! IF IS REAL! And I'm.. HUMAN IN IT! AGHHHHH!!!" The redhead wailed, pounding the concrete with her fists in a slightly temper-tantrum-esque fashion.

"Still think she won't bite?" Shaun queried.

"Well, she's human, so maybe it won't be that hard." Crunchyfrog gave Shaun a shove towards the redhead.

Shaun stumbled and tripped, falling into a squat, level with the redhead. "Um, hello?" He caught a a glimpse of green-brown eyes and freckles smattered across her nose and cheeks before she jumped to her feet with another noise of surprise.

"Eeep! Who are you?!" She was pretty tall for a girl, all her height in her long torso and long legs; blue jeans and a simple blue peasant top along with impeccably white trainers on her feet made her seem pretty normal to Shaun.

"I'm.. uh..." Shaun remembered his very embarrassing IF name with a jolt and turned to Crunchyfrog. "This here's Crunchyfrog, you know her?"

Shaun watched the redhead's face light-up as she smiled at Crunchy. "Oh, thank goodness you're here, Crunch,... and crap, you're human too. We are so, totally, screwed." She pouted slightly.

Crunchyfrog sighed exasperatedly and looked Shaun and the redhead in the eye. "Maybe not, if we can figure out just where in IF we are... and make our way to Key's palace and inquire about those rather rude PMs.... "

Shaun cut Crunchy off as he realized he didn't know the girl's name. "Hey, who are you anyway, Red?"

"Oh! How rude of me! I'm sorry.. I'm Lilith, mod of Fantasy Forest, but everybody calls me Lily." Lily smiled and held out her hand for a handshake. As Shaun shook her hand, Lily spoke again. "And you never answered my question. Who are you?"

Shaun gritted his teeth and was prepared to say his IF name when they heard a loud thud behind them, followed by a loud "OWW!"

"Let's go find out who that is!" Shaun said enthusiastically, hoping the women would forget about his IF name.

"You two do that, I'm going to look around for a sign post of some sort,.. We need to figure out where we are.." Crunchyfrog stated as she began to meander about, twisting and turning her head every which way, sometimes muttering under her breath, sometimes dusting off her jacket.

Shaun shook his head at the Mayoress. "She always like that?" He jerked a thumb towards Crunchy as he spoke to Lily.

Lily shrugged. "Not usually.. I wouldn't annoy her right now if I were you.. Now who have we got here?"

Shaun looked at the IFian who had just dropped in a few seconds ago curiously...

duffman666 · Joined: 08 Apr 2005 Posts: 425 Location: Essex,England

Shaun followed the man with his eyes watching as he landed face first on the pavement with a thud and a loud "ow"

Shaun watched as the guy stood up and brushed himself down muttering something about spam.

"Hey lily,Crunchy whose this guy?" Gesturing with his thumb at the new comer who seemed to be extremely angry about his fall

Lily looked at him "Beats me Why don't you ask him?"

Shaun looked back at Lily "why am i always the one to ask the new comers?" Shaun strolled across the small gap between them looking down at the pavement as he did so. " Excuse me but who are you?"

The man seemed to be stroking his waist and cussing loudly "Wheres my utility belt? wheres my blimp? where the F*** is my blimp?"

Shaun looked at him puzzled hearing a loud beep as the man swore "What was that did you just bleep?" Shaun looked puzzled then remembered what he was saying "and more importantly who are you?"

The man looked up "I'm duffman or i should be but by the looks of it I'm not I've lost my blimp and utility belt, oh I feel so naked"

Shaun looked over his shoulder and shouted "He says he is duffman that mean anything to either of you two other than the Simpsons?"

Lily looked up at Shaun "Yeah he is an old face resurfaced in recent weeks and started a fast paced RP, he's a bit of a hard task master if you ask me always rushing me and my work"

Shaun laughed a silent laugh "my works! god these people are insane why the hell did I ever sign up on here?"

Shaun looked up into the sky observing the great towers which seemed to stretch miles up dominating the clear blue sky and casting long dark shadows over the pavement on which he stood.

Shaun stood massaging his temple his head felt like it was splitting the bright sun shone down onto him, he stood his eyes barely open as the light hurt his eyes so much. He looked over to crunch and decided he would approach her to see if she had any painkiller as he felt he couldn't go on any more last time he celebrated St Patrick's day .

Shaun walked over to crunch "Um you wouldn't happen to have a pain killer would you my head is killing me?"

"No, Shaun I don't, I got sucked into my computer its not like I had time to pack a bag."

Shaun looked around then looked her up and down taking in all of her before turning back and saying " A no would of been fine, so any progress on finding out where we a.." Shaun's sentence was disrupted by a loud scream and a thud inches behind him

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

"Vital organs. Check. Left arm. Check. Right arm. Check. Legs. Check. Internal system. Check. Activating logic circuts. Deactivateing logic circuts. Brain on. Brain off."

"Well whoever it is, he's nuts," Lilith commented.

"Five nine two, my dear. Let me get up."

The IFian, or presumably the user, made a quick kick with his legs to a standing form. He brushed off his black slacks, whirled his neck around with some slight cricking, and turned to Shaun.

"So, I assume you're responsible for this?"

"What? No!"

"Kay-o. So, where's the party?"

"What?" Lilith asked, shaking her head.

"The costume party? Do you thing I wear all this normally?"

Indeed, his garb was outlandish. He wore what resembled an eight-pointed motarbord that alternated between red and black with a horn in the center. A blood-red robe rippled over a red t-shirt, and black gloves were encircled by, guess what, red fabric. A mask made of the same fabric with one single, raged eyehole covered his face entirly, and in his hand, he held a curved handleless blade that uppon close examination was made of plastic.

"I mean, 'Welcome to IF, Sucker?' It can't be a welcome, so it has to be an invatation. And all us IFians are nuts, so it had to be a coustume party. Strange method of transport though."

"You're not suprised?" Lilith asked, shocked.

"You're new here, aren't you?"

"I'm queen of Fantasy Forest!"

"Oh! Lil! I can see you went with the "Stereotypical Modern Teen Model" costume! It really works!"

"WHAT?!?!?"

"We were transported here on accident," interjected Shaun. "You must have been transported too. I don't think it's a party."

"Oh, that? Well it obviously must have been a stable portal with a signal from both ends if we're still human."

"What?"

"Oy gesharek, doesn't anybody read Hawkings anymore? He's not dead yet."

"I'm sorry, what are you talking about?"

The teen in red shrugged. "It's quantum physics. Simple."

"Why did you call me a TEEN MODEL?!?!?!" demanded Lilith.

The teen in red wrapped his arm around Shaun. "Let's go find the mayor. She can work this out."

"Crunchyfrog is over there," Lilith pointed out, "and you still haven't answered my question."

"RL Crunchy is over there. IF Crunchy is in the mansion. Thus, we go to the mayoral mansion."

"Do you know where we are?"

"Not a clue. This way." He began wlking off in a random direction, beckoning the two as he went.

Shaun leaned over to Lilith. "Who is that?"

"Masterweaver, definatly. He's the only guy I know who'd think 'Welcome to IF Sucker' was an invatation to a coustume party."

Cyberworm · Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 12:23 pm Post subject:

The dynamic trio walked the streets of IF, observing what was somewhat familiar to the costumed teen and the model. To Shaun, who only caught a glimpse of the world, it was all random and unknown.

Shaun was amazed by all the shiny things, which glittered in the lonely dark alley. "Ah, look at the lights! They look like they've been pulled from England around the 1900s!"

"Meh". Shaun could see the redhead shrug and whisper silently to the clown, "newbs... gah".

They were walking silently, except for Masterweaver who was constantly rambling about time traveling, trying to explain Duff what a stable wormhole was about as if he was talking to a baby. Well, a baby genius with an IQ of 185, but still, a baby.

"I ain't got a damn clue what you're rambling 'ere." Duff shook his head. "Lemme tell ya sumthin'. When we get to the Inn, I'll buy you a duff and we'll have a nice little chat about those holes that the space worms made. K?"

Before Masterweaver could respond, Lillith shouted. They finally found a sign!

"Come on slowpokes! Finally some clues..."

And a clue it was. The sign was on the pavement, and it made Shaun laugh and others scratch their heads. One hand of the sign pointed to the left and said "Left" and the other, on the right, said "Right".

"Son of a blade! Who posted this?" Lillith shrieked. She turned to the other two as if she was looking for an answer... and she got one. Duffman was sincerely confused, but Masterweaver was sightseeing, looking around innocently.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!!!..."

She dashed towards him, stretching out her hands to choke the teenage bugger, but as Duff was turning away and he was itching for a sneeze. Just when Lillith grabbed Masterweaver's neck, Duff turned around politely and sneezed... unfortunately there was a breeze along with the sneeze...

"Oh my God! "
"Jesus H. Christ!"

Duff went as red as his baseball cap, while the Lil' let go of MW's neck to hold her nose and wave her hand, trying to swish the stench away.

"Sorry... must've been those canned beans... and I guess that six-pack of duff didn't help..."

"Didn't help? I smells like something died inside you and rotted!"

"Well, uh... There IS a good side in all of this..."

Lillith coughed and said "Like what" as she tried to breathe in as less as she could.

"Lookie at the sign."

MW and Lil' turned around, but instead of the previous inscriptions there were words "City Central" on the one that pointed to the left, and "Linear Lane" on the right.

"MW, what did you do with the sign?"

"Uh, you see, when Lecro was ripped apart by the angry mob, I felt like doing something very mean. That's how I got the idea to post these fabulous and informative signs in places of the previous ones. Though I didn't think Duff's wind would blow the disguise of my inventions..."

"Very funny." Duff groaned, his stomach still growling with something that shouldn't be named."

Lil' scratched her tingling nose. "So guys... uh... where do we go from here?"

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Okay, cool! We've posted a chapter!

Well done folks!

:clap:

Okay so let's run over HERE to take some time out and get some ideas for the next chapter...

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Chapter 2 is underway in this thread! Check out the Hangover Briefiing Room to find out what has to be included in this chapter.

This message will self destruct later today. :D

And don't forget to add this to your favorites on the way!

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:12 am Post subject:

Shaun opened his mouth to make a suggestion when a loud 'oomph' followed by a string of bleeps and half broken words issued from the depths of the darkened alley. "Um, guys? I think someone else just joined the party from down that direction." He said, pointing.

Lily was already darting forward, Duff and Weaver none too far behind. Shaun quickly found himself being left in their dust and hustled to keep up, wondering at the same time what kind of people darted down randomly dark and spooky alleyways. The sounds of the censored tirade grew louder until a figure suddenly seemed to pop out of the darkness.

She was tall, Shaun notice, a good six feet and most of it in the legs, and a bit overweight. She looked rough and tumble, from the well-used black leather work boots, obviously men's, to the blue jeans that were spattered with bleach stains. She wore a long sleeved gery shirt with a red plaid flannel shirt over that. Her red hair was getting in her face as she swore yet again, hobbling forward another step. "D*** useless F***** ankel! I would have to F****** land on the d*** thing!"

The others had stopped, probably for good reason, yet Shaun reached out a hand for assistance. "Anybody know who she is?"

"You could try asking her." Lily said with a snort. Shaun flushed.

"Ah, excuse me...I realize you're an IFian but which IFian are you?"

She looked up at him, hazel eyes flashing angrily behind burgandy wire rimmed glasses. "If I told you that, I'd have to kill you."

Lily and Weaver looked at each other, uttering the same name at the same time. "Rai."

Rai looked up with a snort. "Alright, you got me. Who might you be?"

"Well...that's Lilith, that's Duffman, that's Masterweaver and I'm..." Shaun flushed, the name stuck in his throat. "I'm...McLovin'." He watched their jaws drop and braced for the snickering.

Rai glanced at Lily. "This day just keeps getting better and F***** better."

Lilith snickered. "Well, look at it this way sweetie. It isn't just you. It got Duff, Weavo, Crunchy, and I too. Oh and *gigglesnort* McLovin' over there too."

Shaun, red in the face and fully embarrassed, watched the red headed Rai look around with a puzzled expression on her face. "What?"

"Well...you said it got Crunchy too. So where is she?"

Cyberworm · Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 6:30 am Post subject:

"That frog would probably be in her mansion, but I don't think that's a good place to look. EVERYTHING here is desolate. She may not even be in IF! Come to think of it, how many people wander the streets usually?"

Lil' had a point, and Rai snickered, which told Shaun she had an idea.

"We might see if Bruno is real..." She grinned.

MW scratched his head... "But Rai, Bruno is not..."

"Just try and finish that sentence! I'll tear your head off even without my IFish dragon strength!"

Duff and Shaun were taken aback, and they slowly retreated. When their hands touched by accident they jumped like they were zapped.

"Damn, Duff! Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry... heh... McLovin!"

Shaun was, yet again, embarrassed because of the nickname he gave to himself in his half-conscious state. But Rai's fury flurry ended soon, and Lilith concluded.

"I know another IFian who might be at the Inn." she said and put a gentle smile on her face. The rest watched her, surprised to see her face change. Suddenly her daydreaming stopped and she snapped back to reality... if IF could be called reality.

Rai gave her a puzzled look. "Lil', honey, what, no, who are you talking about?".

"Uh, nothing, I just wanted to say... that... if any more IFians would pop into IF, I think they would first visit the bar!" she said, speaking the last unmuttered part with great clarity. After that she put a huge grin on her face.

"Although there's something fishy going on here, I think that's a good idea."

Rai turned to the three guys that were looking at the dark, black sky and commenting how bad it would be if the sky was always black in IF. Shaun commented how he wanted to get a tan, but unfortunately he forgot to bring any sun cream.

"Hey you three. We're going to the Inn. Any objections?"

The three musketeers looked at her in fear. That last sentence didn't give them much room or for objecting, so they just tried to put a smile and waved their heads "no".

Rai led the way as if she knew the place like the bottom of her pocket. Which was now empty. When MW asked her how she knows the place so well, she answered "Well, I am a rather constant resident of the Inn, don't you think that I should be able to walk there with my eyes closed now?"

Lil' whispered to the guys "Judging by the state in which she exits the Inn, I think she needs that skill", and she chuckled. Rai gave them a questioning look and raised an eyebrow, and all was silent. MW broke the short silence and pointed at the large sign.

"Indeed, in pitch dark, one has come to lead us to the light."

The lights in the Inn were lit. It was an old building, looking like the rest of the street decor, England-ish. Actually it looked like something from those fantasy novels, as Shaun concluded when he observed more closely.

They got to the Inn door, and Rai tried to slam the door open with her foot, as she always did. That ended with her hitting the door, then staying in that position and falling on her back, one leg up. The door didn't budge.

"Uh, I don't think it's open after-hours, Rai", MW said as he almost burst into laugh because of that comic scene.

Rai got up and was about ti give MW a roundhouse kick, when a clicking sound came from the door.

"Seems like someone IS here."

The door opened slowly, and they all looked at the resident. It was a boy, about six feet tall, brown hair and eyes. He wore a black t-shirt and trousers that had a belt with a strange symbol on the buckle. He also had a rag in his hand, and it was smelling like polishing cream.

"Uh, heya. What's shaking?"

"Your head if you don't let us in." Rai snapped back. She turned to the others "See, I told you Bruno was real."

"Oh, pardon my manners." the boy-man said and let us in. It was just as how Shaun imagined it would be. Old and comfy, with a nice mood in the well lit room.

"I got sucked here when I opened a PM with a rather funny title. More funny because I've been here for exactly seven months now."

Lil' gasped, but nobody except Shaun saw that. She covered her mouth as if she just saw a ghost. She whispered in a barely hearable tone "That was August last year. Shit..."

They looked at the boy-man as he started polishing the bar with the scented rag.

"Acting like a housemaid again, huh? That means you can only be..."

"Yes, I'm Cy. I suppose you two redheads are... wait. Lil'? ". He looked at the redhead, surprised to see her specifically. He looked as if he never thought he would meet her in IF in person...

"Uh, wrong redhead, chummy."

"Oh, sorry Rai!" he blushed. He then looked behind a guy he instantly knew was MW because of his robes. There he saw the gasping IF fairy who was not a fairy. He raised a hand and waved her. "Hello Lil'!"

He smiled and the redhead blushed, almost as red as her hair. When Duff asked for a duff, Cy knew who it was instantly. They shook hands and then Cy asked them all to sit on the barstools. He then tended the bar.

"You see Rai, no Bruno here. That means I can play bartender" he said almost mockingly and then showed her the tongue.

"Cy, we're in deep shit." She said. "No time to waste."

He then went to a totally serious mode. "Shoot."

"Have you seen Crunchyfrog?"

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

"No, actually."

"Well, you could have missed her. She's a human now, like the rest of us--"

"I've only seen you people. Incidentally, why is Weaver in the freaky costume?"

"He thought it was a costume party," supplied Lilith.

'Look. I know you all arn't freaking out and all," McLovin interrupted, "but I'm not sucked into my computer on a daily basis. Could you tell me what is going on?"

"Clearly it's an attempt to get our attention," commented Masterweaver. "After all, what other reason plotwise could there be?"

There was a moment of silence.

There was another moment of silence.

"Plotwise?" inquired Duffman.

"The city is founded on Idearium. Even if our initial transport was accidental, qwe must have now gotten ourselves entangled into some story."

"Awesome! I can have super powers!" McLoven leapt off a table and tryied to fly. Fortunatly, Rai was there to break his fall.

"You said it, not me," Weaver replied.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Shaun scrambled away from Rai and took a few steps back from his new companions.

"No, wait... you said it, Masterweaver..."

"Said what?"

"The single most intelligent and sensible thing I've heard since I got here..."

Rai and Lilith glanced at each other, Cy stifled a snicker, and Duffman belched.

Weaver struck a pose, and with a flick of his plastic handleless blade, spun the eight pointed mortarboard around on top of his head, the horn in the middle rotating on a very peculiar axis. Behind the ridiculous cloth mask, Shaun imagined the young IFian was grinning like a maniac.

Nobody said a word. Shit, thought Shaun. His credibility had already plummeted at the revelation of his chosen name McLovin'. Had he now just destroyed it completely?

"Y..yes," he continued nervously, his mouth suddenly going dry. "Weaver has made a very well observed point. That private message was an attempt to get our attention. It did that alright, and more. It got us all here. Whether that was intended or not, it must have been created for a reason."

Five pairs of eyes stared blankly at him.

"So, what reason, Sherlock?" scowled Rai, folding her arms.

"How do I know?" shrugged Shaun. "I'm the newbie around here. Who's responsible for mass mailing PM's?"

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Chapter 3 starts here!

Check out the writing rules for this chapter in the Briefing Room before posting.

Have fun!

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2477

"Well..." Lilith bit her lip, trying to remember who the mysterious PM had been from.

"I think it was from Key. The only other person with thast power is Crunchy." This was Cy, a slight frown on his face as he contemplated the mystery.

McLovin' didn't know much about If, but he knew enough to realise that finding one of the two would be their next task, and said as much. This provoked a flurry of debate, ending in Lilith's declaration of intent.

"If any Ifians other than us get here, they'll come to the Inn. I'll stay here. We'll need someone to tell them what's happening."

"Shouldn't that be me?" Cy again. "After all, I always stay in the bar."

"No, Cy. They'll probably assume you're Bruno."

"Bruno doesn't look like that!" This was Rai. "He looks much more - "

"Look, ladies, can we just go already?" Duff grabbed McLovin' and Cy and pulled them after him, motioning with a flick of his head for Rai to follow. The door slammed shut behind them as they exited.

Lilith sighed and sat down to wait.

*********************

There was a polite tapping on the door, ten minutes later, and when Lil opened it she was confronted with an Ifian she knew instantly. Wearing a green, red and white rugby shirt and dark jeans, the 5' 6" teenager had short brown hair and piercing blue eyes. The hand raised to knock again had several ink splotches and a slim blue watch.

"Um. Excuse me, but I seem to be lost. Could you please tell me where I am? I mean, I think I know, but - "

"Whitey, right? This is If, and more specifically, the Inn. I'm Lilith, and there are a few others roaming the streets."

The girl's eyebrows raised, and her mouth curved into a smile.

"Are you kidding me? And how did you know who I am?"

"I know who you are from your shirt. It's got a little tiger head on it, just there. And as for the rest... come in and I'll explain."

**************

When Lilith had finished explaining, Whitey sat back in her chair and frowned slightly. She had got herself a cup of tea, and absentmindedly picked up another biscuit from the plate beside her.

"So we've all been summoned to If from this PM, and we don't know he what, why, wherefore or who?"

"Pretty much. More tea?"

"Thanks."

As the kettle finished boiling, there was a tap, then a knock, then an all-out hammering on the door. Lilith looked up.

"More people. I wonder who this one is..."

Syranore · Joined: 18 Nov 2007 Posts: 145 Location: The Menagerie

The door slammed open, and a somewhat frustrated-looking teen walked through. He was just a little under six feet tall, and his straight brown hair came down right above his eyebrows. The scowling teen was wearing a dark grey trenchcoat, with loose-fitting jeans and a brown t-shirt. After mumbling something about evil doors not working, he looked up and noticed Lily and The White Blacksmith.

Lily poured herself some more tea, and said, "Hi. I'm Lily, this is Whitey." She explained the situation to the newcomer, pausing every now and then to take a sip from her tea. When she had finished telling everything to him, she addressed him once more. "I don't think I caught your name. So, who are you, anyway?"

Still wearing his perpetual scowl, the teen thought for a minute, and started talking. "I think, in these circumstances, that you should call me Syranore. Does this place have any soda? I need my caffiene fix."

Lily pointed to the bar, and watched as Syranore returned with a drink, and pulled up a chair, and plopped down beside the two. "So what do we do now?", said Syranore.

Lily started to speak, but was suddenly interrupted."Well, we wait to see if any more people are coming to the Inn. So, why are you wearing a trenchcoat anyway? You kinda look like a-"

"Yeah, I know. I just like them. Got a problem?" Syranore glared at them. "I thought not. Has it ever occurred to you people that whoever brought us here might be hostile? Perhaps we should find some method of armament. Wouldn't want to encounter any...unpleasant surprises." Syranore let out a mirthless laugh, a creepy noise to the other two in the room.

Lily wondered if this was his normal state of mind, and shuddered. "In any case, we still need to wait here for any more new arrivals coming to the Inn." She shifted in her seat, and waited.

=======

A few minutes later, and Lily and Whitey were still sitting, trying to avoid looking at Syranore too much, who was searching the room for potential weapons, when the a faint knock was heard on the door.

Lily got up, and when she opened the door, she was surprised at who she saw. When she opened the door fully, the other two turned to look at who was walking in...

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

It was shocking. They had expected a human, but instead, the creature that entered the door was a full eight feet tall. Thin, skeletal arms ended in stick-like fingers and thumbs. A strange black kilt obscured everything waist down. The ribcage was barely contained in parchment-yellow skin. The head was mostly enveloped in a spider-like mouth, but a pair of green orbs stared out in hunger above it.

"The Head Eater," whispered Lilith.

Slowly, the creature turned its gaze upon the redhead. "Yesssss. That issss who I am." The voice was quiet, subtle, precise. "The quessstion isss, who are you?"

"I... I'm Lilith."

"No," replied the creature, delicately shutting the door. "Lilith issss a fairy. You are a human."

"She was sucked into her computer," Whitey said. "We all were."

The Head Eater turned to the teenager with a quiet piercing gaze. Whitey fell silent.

"Perhapsssss. That would explain sssssome thingsss."

"Like what?" inquired Syranore.

"I will not sssay. I do not trusssst any of you yet. You have not proven that you are who you sssssay you are. And until you do, I sssshall not let you leave thissssss Inn. It isss ssssafer all around." The Head Eater slowly took a seat and fixed its gaze on the IFians.

"Well," Lilith managed, "I geuss we have a new problem."

Guest · Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:07 pm Post subject:

McLovin made his way through the streets utterly confused. The one called Duffman hardly helped while Cyberworm was utterly starting to be overhelpful. Rai would answer question as he asked him. He had to block out some of Cy's voice as he looked around. While he was looking away, he tripped and fell over something laying in the street.

"I told you she was there," Cyberworm said, helping up McLovin.

"Like I have enough back problems as it is," said the person that McLovin tripped over. They stood up and he noticed it was girl. The girl looked at him and the others and laughed. "If's been invaded by humans ha! I think I'm seeing things, I need some whiskey."

"Uh, who are you?" McLovin asked as the girl started to search her own body for something. "And what are you doing?"

Rai stepped up and sighed. "If she mentions whiskey, then that is more than likely Harley. She looking for her whiskey flasks," she explained walking up to the person. "You are Harley, right?"

"Dead on correct," Harley said putting her hand on her hip.

"Her name is actually Harley? Like the motorcycle?" McLovin asked. He took a step back as Harley walked towards and inspected his face.

"Who's the newb?" Harley asked placing a finger on his chin.

"Come on Harls, no scaring the newbs," Duff said as he grabbed her shoulder and hugged her. Cyberworm shook his head.

"As you can tell Harls, that's Duff with you, I'm Cy, Rai's over there and the newb is called McLovin," Cy explained. He walked over to McLovin. "Don't worry, she may act tough, but she's a big softie. Especially around Duff."

McLovin would have asked more questions but he was more curious about IF than the newest addition to their group. He walked up to a signpost and looked at it. Turning around, he looked at the group that was escorting him.

"So back to business, where can we find Crunchyfrog?" he asked.

"The Mayoral Mansion of course. I know where that's at," Harley said grabbing McLovin's hand. She took off running down various streets and down many alleyways.

McLovin looked behind him. Duff, Cy and Rai were keeping up though they did keep their distance a tad bit. They started doing that a couple of streets back when Harley turned around quickly and knocked right into Rai. He was dragged down another street which was a dead end.

Harley let go of McLovin's hand and turned around. She turned around and gave an embarrasing smile. Duff, Cy, and Rai shook their heads. Mclovin looked confused at everyone else.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Harley just got us lost," Cy said bringing his hand to his forehead.

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1099

"D*** it, Harls! Did you have to get us f***ing lost?" Rai snapped, glaring at Harley.

Harley gave everybody a sheepish grin and whispered, "Sorry?"

Duff wandered over and placed his hand on Harley's hip. "Not yet but you will be.."

Harley whirled around and swatted Duff off. "Now's not a good time, Duffie."

Cy looked at Duff, then at Harley and made to open his mouth for a second but shut it the instant MW shook his head. "No, Cy... there are minors around."

"So?" Cy responded with a cavalier look on his face.

McLovin stepped back from the bickering that was taking place in the alley and began to explore back a bit on his own. How do these people ever get anything accomplished when all they do is b**** back and forth? OY! It edits my thoughts now?! WHAT THE H***?!

He wandered back onto the street, the old fashioned lamp post on the corner catching his eye. There was a dull grey button on the side of it that had a sign posted above it in read ink, DO NOT PRESS UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY! And in IF, something like that is, of course, absolutely irresistible to any true IFian.

McLovin was reaching forward to press the button just as Harley poked her head out from around the corner and shouted at him. "NO! NOT THAT BUTTON!" Harley ran for McLovin as he lost his balance, surprised, and his thumb sunk into the button.

MW, Rai, Cy, and Duff managed to get around the corner of the alley just in time to see Harley and McLovin drop out of sight as a trap door opened below them and swallowed them whole. The button on the lamp post then dissolved into nothing as did the door that opened below Harley and McLovin.

"S***," Cy swore. "It seems that someone is leaving breadcrumbs for us to follow."

"So wait.. nothing in IF works for us.. we don't have our IFian powers and forms.. but someone, or something is making certain stuff work for them?" MW asked.

Rai sighed. "Yes, I think that would be correct, MW. In short, we are so f***ing screwed."

"We still need to find Crunchyfrog though, she may be able to help us figure out how we can get ourselves back to normal." Duff stated, pouting slightly now that Harley was gone.

"What about Harley and McLovin though?" MW protested.

Rai smiled. "I'm sure that there's plenty of company down below the streets of IF in the sewers. They'll stumble across someone or something soon."

*****************

Meanwhile, McLovin and Harley slid down a rather disgusting and smelly tunnel, popping out in a rather dim and dank tunnel. "Well this is.. " McLovin began.

"Shut it, McLovin." Harley snapped.

"My, my, .. so nasty to one another..."

McLovin and Harley looked at each other and then peered curiously through the dark for the source of the foreign voice.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Cy and Masterweaver jogged over to the lamp post beneath which McLovin' and Harley had just disappeared.

Getting down onto his hands and knees, Cy examined the pavement carefully, MW standing above him. He beckoned to Rai and Duff, who both approached them warily.

"There's nothing here. Not even a join! Not a hinge, nothing!"

"Let me see," replied Rai, pushing past Duff and Weaver. She stamped her heavy boot on the paving stone. They could hear a hollow echo from beneath it. Cy and Rai exchanged glances, and she stamped on another stone adjacent to it. The sound was different.

"Definitely this one," said Cy.

Rai nodded. "We need something to lever it up with," she said, looking around at the others.

Duff shrugged, and Cy and Weaver looked at one another.

Rai's eyes settled on Masterweaver, her face twisting into an evil grin. She grabbed the mortarboard on his head by the horn sticking out in the middle.

"Give me that," she demanded.

Weaver howled. "No! Not my hat! It'll reveal... I mean... No! The hat stays on!"

Rai tried to yank the hat off Weaver's head, but it wasn't coming off.

"Fine," she muttered, and wrapping her arms around Weaver's body, she kicked his feet from the ground, and turned him upside down. "Help me here!" she grunted.

Duff and Cy gawped.

"Well come on then!" she yelled at them.

Grabbing a very indignant Masterweaver, Cy, Duff and Rai angled his body so that the horn on his hat was angled into the edge of the slab on the ground.

"Now!" she ordered, and slowly they began to lever the slab open...

Cy let go of Weaver and pulled at the slab for all he was worth, until a shaft was revealed below.

"Yay!!!" cried Duff.

"Shhh!" hissed Cy. "I can hear them down there..."

Rai and Duff dropped Weaver on the ground, and they listened. Indeed, they could hear McLovin' and Harley, and another voice...

Rai swung her legs over the side of the shaft.

"They could be in trouble. Come on, let's go!" And with that she pushed herself off the side and slid into the sewers below.

Hak · Joined: 10 Sep 2006 Posts: 247 Location: hell

“My, my. So nasty to each other.”

Cerulean blue eyes glowed right outside the only light in the tunnel. Shaun and Harley had stopped their quarrel to stare at the dark. The sight sent chills running up Shaun’s spine.

A cute yet evil laugh rang through the sewer, sending another chill their way. They watched as a pale girl stepped into the light, revealing her golden, no bronze, hair, that curled outward in a little bounce. That was the first thing Shaun had noticed.

His eyes took in her apparel, which was a pair of black pants with red lines covering the pockets, and chains falling in an “X” behind her. She smiled a warm, youthful smile, yet held an air of adulthood. Her black tee-shirt was too large and drooped from her shoulder, revealing a fire red strap that should have been hidden.

“May I inquire as to who you two are?” Shaun saw the expectancy in her eyes.

Shaun and Harley glanced at each other for only a second before “McLovin” was thrown at the dark girl.

“This is Harley, and I’m Shaun McLovin.”

“Harley!” The girl flung herself forward and hugged the now befuddled Harley, “It’s so good to see an Ifian I’ve heard of before….” She drew back in thought, “dunno if we’ve ever spoken to each other before though…”

Harley pushed the 5’7” girl away, “What’s your name, girl?”

Shaun noted the blank expression on the girl’s face before she opened her mouth to speak.

“I’m- K-RAI!!!” A shriek rang through in the dark as the girl’s eyes pointed Shaun’s gaze toward the trapdoor he’d fallen through.

“Hak! God D***it, your dad’s gonna kill you!” The shadow in the hole called down.

Hak bounced all around Kalanna Rai as the taller girl dropped down and adjusted her glasses. Shaun and Haley joined the group that had just followed them from before.

“This place looks like it’s been built recently, or from something other than what up there’s made of.” Cy’s voice brought them back to the area, rather than the reunion.

“Who are they?” Rai quickly named off everyone, then inspected the walls.

Shaun turned to the new girl, “What do you know about this place?” He was taken aback as her face went from child, to adult, “and how old are you?”

The girl’s eyes stared at him, as though she peered into his very soul, “I logged on at 2:45, right after school, and then found the darkest place I could….” She then looked down, embarrassed, “and tried to draw a map of IF. And I’m sixteen…”

“Wow, you look olde-“ Harley cut off Shaun.

“You drew a map?!?”

“Yes?”

K-Rai thudded the girl’s back, what could have been a killing blow, “Sweet! Now, let’s get the f*** out of here!”

As the cherubic devil child pulled out a paper from her pocket, Shaun noticed something in the sewer. The thing was trying to crawl out. “Guys! I think you should see this…”

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Well done, everyone! That's another chapter wrapped up, and I'll get to putting it through the editing suite over the weekend.

Okay folks, back to brainstorming for the next chapter... A poll for what's coming out of the gunk is up, and just what is on Hak's map? :D

See ya in the Briefing Room

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

OKAY FOLKS!

Time to start the new chapter...

Check out the rules for your mission in this chapter HERE before you start writing.

Let the mayhem commence!

:grin:

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 4314 Location: UK

Much to his annoyance, no one was listening to him. As the heaving, slurping mound of muck and goo inched its way closer to McLovin, a babble of voices could be heard behind him. Fearing for his life, but determined to be listened to, he dared turn around to see what was so interesting to the rest of them that they could ignore the mortal danger crawling towards him.

"Oi!" He yelled, when he realised they were all crowded around a piece of paper held out triumphantly by the newcomer. As one, the small sea of faces all turned to him, and stared blankly.

With exaggerated overacting, enough to please even his school drama teacher, Shaun pantomined turning around and pointed at the disgusting blob of doom about to kill them all...

...It was gone! But in its place was something so rediculous, so undeniably insane that Shaun could only perform a passable impersonation of a goldfish.

"F**king 'ell, if it ain't ol' Bob"
"Wooo, BOB"
"Yay, we're saved. Bob has access to anywhere in the city!"

But Bob the Apedog had other ideas. With a quick hop and a bound on long ungainly arms, he was next to McLovin's right leg. Once there, he had only one instinct. One shared by many a dog across the globe.

Snapped out of his goldfish impression, McLovin screamed. "GET THIS THING OFF OF MY LEG!"

"How do we do that?" Hak said, as they all crowded around.

"Isn't it f**king obvious?" Replied Rai.

"Well this ain't working," said Duffman, straining hard, and red in the face, as he held onto Bob around the middle, and tried to pull the Apedog off of Shaun's leg.

Bob growled and held on tighter, as his powerful frame continued to bound up and down. Shaun screamed again.

"For F**K sake, just THWACK him." Rai yelled.

Cyberworm, Weaver and Harley wasted no time. With various war crys they fell upon the unsuspecting, and openly horny apedog.

"THWACK"
"THWAAAAAACK"
"THWACCCCK"

With a resounding pop, Bob vanished and McLovin collapsed to the dirty, slimy floor with a muffled cry.

"We've gotta get him out of these tunnels." Cyber quickly said. "Can you walk?"

"I think so," Shaun replied. "But not very far. Weren't you guys looking at a map?"

NeverNeverGirl · Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject:

"YES! We were.." Rai took control of the situation and rounded on Hak. "Now Hak, let's have another look at this..."

Mc'Lovin watched as Rai snatched the map off a grinning Hak. Rai peered at it intently before groaning out loud.

'What? What is it?' Cy jumped about excited.

'Nothing! Literally, nothing...' Giving Hak one of her most withering looks, she dropped the map, letting it flutter down towards the slime covered ground.

'HEY WAIT A MINUTE!' cried Harley suddenly, swooping the map up before it hit the gunk.

'Forget it," scowled Rai, "its useless.'

'No, its really not!' Harley was excited and everyone moved forward to peer over her shoulder.

It was then that the map was revealed to Shaun McLovin in all its glory. There scribbled on a peice of what appeared to be a hamburger wrapper with what seemed to be a blue crayon, was Haks map.

It had a squiggly line for the sewer itself, the words left wall and right wall, and a big blue x that marked their current location.

McLovin groaned. Why on Earth had he joined an online community where they had so many members with mental deficincies?

'Hang on!' MW was getting excited too. "I think I know what Harley means..."

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2316

Weaver snatched Hak's map out of Harley's hand, and folded the paper into a 'V' shape. Very carefully, he bent down and examined the ground near where the Apedog had been. Then, assuming the manner of an archaeologist unearthing a precious artifact, used his new makeshift paper shovel to brush some of the gunk out of the way.

"You mean that's all you think my map is good for?" complained Hak, but she stopped as something glistened through the slime.

"Fables!" breathed Masterweaver, his eyes shining, but the euphoria of his discovery was short lived, as Harley knocked him over into the goo.

"Hey, gimme!" she snapped. "I saw them first!"

Plunging both fists into the muck she grabbed the three silvery coins and held them tightly to her chest.

"They're mine!" moaned Weaver, "I thwacked the Apedog too!"

"So did I!" muttered Cyberworm, folding his arms sulkily. And I need the fables more than anyone."

Rai crossed her eyes and shook her head. "Look, three of you thwacked him, you all share the winnings. One fable each."

Harley backed away.

"Harley..." growled Rai warningly.

McLovin couldn't believe what he was hearing. These people - these maniacs... They'd inexplicably been drawn into this place through their computer screens, they'd lost their leader, had fallen into this disgusting sewer, and were arguing about what he presumed to be some form of currency...

"You mean, that... that... thing... that..." he could barely get his words out. "It leaves money behind?"

"Yeah, McLovin'," sneered Rai, to the sound of more stifled giggles on the emphasis of his user name, "...and if you'd thwacked him yourself, you'd have copped for all 3 fables yourself."

"Unlucky!" smirked Harley sarcastically, as she handed out the slimey coins to Weaver and Cyberworm.

Masterweaver glanced at McLovin through his ridiculous mask. "Don't worry, mate! You'll get your chance at thwacking him. The Apedog likes you. If you're quick you'll be rich in no time!"

McLovin made a pathetic high pitched whimper. Cy looked over at him, a concerned expression on his face.

"You alright, newb?" he asked. "Well, apart from the leg, of course..." He nodded at Weaver. "Come on, Weavo, gimme a hand. We all need to get moving if we're to find old Crunchy and figure out who sent that PM."

Masterweaver and Cyberworm supported McLovin on either side, helping him to take the weight off his leg.

"Forward we go!" shouted Duffman, listening to his voice echoing around the tunnels. "Echo!! ECHO!! ECHO!! MWAHAAAAAHAHAA!!!"

"Shut up, Duffman," snapped Rai, and she led the little group on through the sewers.

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 4314 Location: UK

Progress was slow going, but as far as McLovin' was concerned it was great progress. In the last 10 minutes nothing had appeared, disappeared, slimed him, scared him or tried to hump his leg. Aside from the stinky sewer, the painful limp and his head being unfortunately close to the weird mask of the Weaver guy helping him walk, he'd positively enjoyed the last 10 minutes. Now if the next 10 minutes could be the same, and the one after that...

He cast his mind back to the start of the crazy that was now his life. They were already looking for the first person he'd met, Chrunchyfrog, but he couldn't help wondering about the second person, Lily, whom they'd left behind in the Inn. He decided to vocalise that thought.

"I wonder what Lilith might be up to at the bar..."

Sadly he didn't get a reply to his calm, pleasant question, in the midst of the calm, pleasant moment. The calm, pleasant moment was in fact irretrivably scared away by a visit from an ominious sounding scream.

"What what that?" Rai snorted, stopping still in the stinky waters.

"Duffman didn't hear the delicious sound of a duff beer being opened. Duffman thinks we should ignore anything else."

Sush, I think it came from that way," said Hak, having retrieved the muddy, creased but otherwise intact map and was staring at it in puzzlement.

"Well it looks like we're moving uphill, we could be nearing someone's house, so I say we ignore it and get out of here," said Cyberworm.

"But it might be another Ifian," replied Masterweaver. "We've gotta help them!"

Suddenly everyone, even Rai, was looking at McLovin' for a decision. He winced and longed for those 10 minutes again.

NeverNeverGirl · Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 4:22 am Post subject:

Shaun and the others walked on and soon found themselves emerging from behind a large, rather chilling, gargoyle into a large marble foyer.

Surrounded on either side by large marble statues, the kind that seemed to watch as one walked by, they quickly hustled without conference towards a small door set in the opposite wall.

Half way across the expansive foyer the scream echoed again, Shaun thought for a moment he could almost make out a high decibel 'Yes, Yes, oh YES!'.

Shauns face turned a shade of puce at the thought, some of the others giggled and MW let out a sigh of resignation.

'Well i can deduce from several factors our exact location.... The large Raven insignia emblazoned on the floor, along with the 'interesting' decore suggest this is the home of none other than...'

MW paused for significantly longer than Shaun thought was necessary for dramatic build up and was just about to speak when they heard the screams again.

'Lordy?' Rai's voice was like ice, a tone of animosity creeping into it that caused Shaun to flinch.

Another scream similar to the first and a lot nearer this time, cut off any further discussion and in an unaccustomed show of bravado - Shaun raced up the stairs towards the sound.

As he flew up the wide marble stairway, his heart racing quickly in his chest, Shaun could hear the others scrabbling to catch up.

'What the heck does he need so many stairs for...'

Hak bounded up alongside Shaun and turned to bounce backwards up the stairs, grinning crazily. After what seemed an eon they found themselves on the landing and Shaun bounded towards where he had thought the noise was coming from.

Bursting through a large white set of wooden double doors he found himself in a sumptiously appointed bedroom. He threw his gaze around the room quickly before giggling drew his attention towards a small door in the wall.

'Never fear! We are here to help save....' Shauns voice trailed away.

There sitting happily in a large pile of clothes was a woman.

With long nearly black hair, an olive complexion, a dusting of freckles and blue eyes she sat chattering happily away to herself.

'I thought just maybe.. oh i can't beleive.. its all here...' She stroked the clothes around her with affection and sighed.

She turned slightly, noticing several heads peering around the doorway to watch her.

Standing, she extracated herself from the strewn clothes and gave a big grin. Dressed in pink boxer shorts and singlet, with sleepy first-thing-in-the-morning hair and pink bunny slippers, she advanced on the party.

'Ohmigod... don't tell me its..' Rai was shaking her head in disbelief at the young woman before her.

'Oh yes, you better believe it!' The girl grinned back mischievously.

'....Ne....' Rai broke into a relieved smile and Hak happily 'woofed' around the room.

As the others did their introductions and the ever cheerful voice of Ne saturated the room with sound, Shaun sat on a chair and had himself a break.

He decided that in the end he was just greatful that he'd stumbled on a bedroom and not a dungeon...

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1456 Location: Look around

"Come," said Masterweaver, from behind Shaun's right ear. "While they're distracted."

Shaun nearly jumped. When he wanted to be, the guy was a freaking ninja! "Come where?" he asked.

Masterweaver guestured at the door. "To look around of course. He can't have just a bedroom, if you know what I mean."

"Um... No, I'm still new here."

"Consider it. Anyways, I'm off. Don't tell the others where I went." The man dressed in red walked out the door like a clockwork toy desidned by a roboticist who had now concept of an item that was not somehow electronic. That is to say, he walked out methodically, but in an offbeat manner.

Shaun looked after him for a few moments, then muttered, "Some freak," and got up. He managed to find Masterweaver ambling about in the hall. That was really the only way to describe it. The guy walked in spirals, but was not intoxicated in any way that Shaun could see.

"Isn't it rude to look around the Lordy guy's house?"

"Yes."

"Then why do it?"

"Exactly."

Shaun pondered this for a moment, nearly losing sight of Masterweaver as he whirled around a corner.

"That doesn't make any sense!!"

"Sense?"

Quietly, almost imperceptibly, the man turned around to face him.

"Sense?" he repeated. "Sir, I assume you refer to commen sense, something which seems to have evaded me sense my birth. I assure you, commen sense means nothing in the real world, and most likely means nothing here. Therefore, unless you have something useful to contribute to the mission, I suggest you keep your mouth shut."

"Mission? What mission?"

"Exactly," replied Masterweaver, as if that explained anything, and whirled into the darkness.

Shaun stared after him.

"Why do you say that? What does it mean?"

"Figure it out," replied Weaver, bored. "Or don't. It won't matter, anyways. Ahaha!"

The figure stopped and picked up a strange object from the shelves lining the wall.

"I knew it would be here somewhere. Yes, friends it is here."

Shaun approached cautiously. "What? What did you find?"

Masterweaver, his gaze still fixed on the item, replied, "Idearium. Oh yes. This is important."

Shaun stared for a moment, then shook his head and said, "Right, when you start making sense, come back to the bedroom, I'll be there with everyone else." He headed off, cursing dramatists under his breath.

Masterweaver remained, staring at the crystalinne object. "I have Idearium," he murmered, as though it was a great discovery.

Then suddenly he threw up his head and laughed. Chasing Shaun, object ubove his hat, he ran into the bedroom and shouted, "I HAVE FOUND IDEARIUM! I HAVE FOUND--"

And perhaps things would have gone much better if the idiot hadn't tripped over one of Lordy's oversized clothes and watched the crystal arc into the air with a look normally reserved for that unfortunate qauntem physicist who has just opened their world's first wormhole...

Idea master · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:41 pm Post subject:

And thus, with the shattering of the Idearium crystal, there was a hush over the room. It sounded much like the tinkling of a glass chandelier as it hit a stone floor. The others whirled on Masterweaver as he looked upon the broken remnants of the crystal. And then Masterweaver filled the obligatory 'NOOOOOO' that someone is required to say when something quite plot-important has broken.

Then there was a voice. A voice unlike one Shaun had heard. One that kept changing itself, as though it couldn't decide what silly accent or quirk it would acquire from one second to the next.

"Hey now, I knew there was a rather large Idearium reading up here, but now its shattered and is totally worthless...oh well. Best be off then..."

Shaun quickly ran behind a pillar and looked in the shadows. A tall, lanky man, dressed in a brown hoodie and blue jeans, a black bowler hat on his head, and some sort of mittens on his hands was there, holding some sort of odd device, several others strapped to his belt. Shaun looked at the man as though he were the oddest thing, apart from that thing in the sewers, he had seen.

"Erm, sir?" Shaun tentatively asked of the person.

"Eh? What the blazes?" The man quickly whipped his head about, first from one side, then to the other, finally spotting Shaun. In the process, a sickening set of cracks were heard. "Oh, I needed that. Who're you?"

Shaun winced as he heard the cracks. "Erm, that depends. Do you know what's happened to yourself?"

The man clipped the device back onto his belt. "My dear boy, I make it my business to know if something is reality or not. Unfortunately, it is, and I've been sucked into IF. Now, who are you?"

"Well," Shaun started, "My user name is quite, erm, embarrassing, so please call me Shaun."

The man nodded. "Very well. I am the great, the mighty, the all-powerful IM!"

Rai spoke up at this point. "IM? Is that really you?"

The others followed the sound of IM's speech and quickly joined Shaun in wonderment. Not of how IM got there, but of...

"IM, what ARE those devices you have on your belt?"

IM looked pleased with himself. "I'm glad you asked. You see, these devices are products of my own imagination. I had written them down as weapons China and I would use in my newest story. Unfortunately, I had not yet quite submitted the chapter before I read the PM entitled 'Welcome to IF, sucker'. But so long as that browser window remains open in the real world, these devices should still exist."

"China?" Shaun muttered.

"Short for Chinaren, Chickenren, and all sorts of things," Masterweaver replied.

"Be that as it may, IM, just what do they do?" Rai queried.

IM held up what looked to be a blaster if not for the missing cylinder right in the middle. "This is my utility blaster gun, runs on Idearium power cells. I have several modes for it right here." IM waved to his belt, where various cylinders were hanging. They were see-through, and the others could see that they had computer chips and wires running through them. There were slight emblems painted on as well.

"Okay, but what are the modes?" Masterweaver questioned.

IM began to list off what he could remember. "Flame, lightning, water, grappling gun, sonic waves, Stupidium-"

"Stupidium?" Shaun was, once again, befuddled.

"Later, kid." MW told him.

"Idearium, explosions, sudden plant growth, flash of light, and then there's the nuclear one. I also have a device that detects Idearium here, I used it to get here."

Hak held up a hand and counted off on it. "Two questions. How can that work, and how did you get here so quickly?"

"It has a small Idearium crystal in it, the computer components within it detect its resonate frequency and project other locations of similar frequencies on the screen. Granted, it isn't a very good screen, but it works. And as for how I got here..."

IM pointed in one direction. There, in big red letters, were the words BACK DOOR.

Shaun looked at IM. "Okay, lots of questions, but most pertinent, why were you looking for Idearium?"

"That," IM said while loading the 'Explosion' cylinder into the gun with a small, snap-on 'click,' "is a story for back at my mansion. It still recognizes me, thank God, so why don't we get ourselves there?"

And IM moved towards the door, opening it the tiniest crack and peeking outside, making sure the way was clear.