City of IF

[Lilith]

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS STRONG LANGUAGE! NOT FOR THE ONES WITH PARENTS OVER THEIR SHOULDERS OR WHO HAVE NEVER, EVER HEARD A CURSE WORD IN THEIR LIFE!

A SIDE NOTE! THIS STORY IS BUILT ON THE SILLY RUMOURS AND THINGS THAT GO ON IN IF AND IN THE INN! IF, FOR ANY REASON, THE JOKE THAT IS MADE IN A CHAPTER ABOUT YOUR IFIAN PERSONA YOU CAN'T TAKE... THEN GET OVER IT AND DON'T READ THE STORY. THIS STARTED OFF AS FUN AND WILL REMAIN SO AS LONG AS I HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD SPORTS WITH THEIR SENSES OF HUMOR!

Chapter 1: Welcome home?


Lilith approached the gates of IF with trepedation as she removed the blue hood from her fiery hair. The hooded cloak was given to her by a friend that she missed very much and had left IF awhile ago; this friend’s absence had distraught Lily to no end and that compiled with difficulties in RL had caused Lily’s own absence from IF. Sure she had kept an eye on it and even peeked in here and there, but she really hadn’t returned to IF since then.

Until now.

Shading a hand over her eyes, Lily looked up at Bruce, the gatekeeper of IF and cousin to Bruno, the bartender of the Inn. “Grant me entry to the beloved city of IF Bruce! I have been away for far too long1” She called up to him, the wind blowing the cloak back and revealing her for who she was and holding up the silver mod ring that showed her to be a City Council member.

Bruce raised an eyebrow and pressed the button that slid the gates back and allowed Lilith to slip through. “Much has changed here since you were here last, Lady.” He warned quietly as he turned to face the east, returning his mind to his sentry duty. Lilith frowned a bit and then shrugged as she replaced the hood of the cloak over her head and walked towards Fantasy Forest, towards her home.

Unfortunately, she did not reach the safety of the trees without being noticed. Instead she walked in on a large crowd gawking at the unmistakable form of D-Lotus, who was currently being frenched and groped by some dull, dim-looking IFian with a clumsy air about him. Before she was through being shocked however, D managed to throw his assailant off and speak after wiping his mouth and tongue throughly with a napkin he happened to have in his jacket pocket.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, LORDY??” D screamed at the dull Ifian as he regained his lost footing after D threw him off.

“What, you don’t find me attractive anymore D?” The speech came out halted and stuttered, not at all like the smooth Lordy everyone knew. His hair was very dull and his eyes rather squinty as rubbed his runny nose on his arm, giving a loud snort at which everyone cringed.

Lilith nearly vomited as she hurried away from the crowd and found herself in a new area. “What the hell?” A large sign sporting a road heading off into the sunset screamed “Linear Lane ” in big, bold letters. Kalanna Rai, sporting a shiny new mod necklace that was engraved with LL on the setting of the stone, stepped in front of Lily, and gave a low snarl. “Quite a nice cloak you’ve got there... was one of Din’s... but your scent isn’t Din’s.. so why do you have it?”

Lily dropped the hood on her shoulders once more. “She left it for me with a note when she left Kalanna...”

Kalanna had stepped back, startled obviously. “Lily? Wha? Your scent.. It’s.. different. Otherwise, I would have known it was you.... “ She blinked once and then picked Lily up with a talon. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???” Kalanna shook Lily thoroughly like a rag doll.

Lily closed her eyes as the world was now shaking back and forth very violently. “STOP!” She managed to yell.

Kalanna complied and gave Lily a glare. “Well?” she queried, tapping the talons of her other claw on the ground impatiently.

“RL had me for a long time, Kalanna..” Lily replied quietly as she was set down on her feet. Kalanna said nothing in response.

RL, (or Real Life) was something IFians tried their best to avoid. Sadly, many times, RL won the battle and dragged several IFians away from the fair city kicking and screaming. When someone mentioned RL’s involvement, it was taken seriously.

Lily shook her head as Kalanna finally opened her mouth to say something. “It’s fine... I’m home now... So, what’s been happening in the city while I’ve been away?” Lily asked, waving a hand at the “Linear Lane” sign.

Kalanna motioned towards the hill that the Inn sat on. “Let’s go talk, Lily... A lot has happened...”

----------------------------------

“So lemme get this straight.... Crunchyfrog is mayor, you’re modding Linear Lane, and Chinaren’s new money making scheme is selling bits of IF off to people?” Lily and Kalanna sat in the bar, each nursing her third drink.

“And JezSharp and Idea Master have gone missing...” Kalanna nodded as she knocked back the rest of her drink. “They’ve got D-Lotus and his team on the case but... so far they’ve had no luck..”

Lily snorted into her drink as Kalanna mentioned D-Lotus.

“What’s so funny?”

“D, heheh.... I need to tell you the first thing I came across when I returned to IF.”

Lily got up from her chair a little unsteadily and whispered the scene she stumbled into as she walked in through the gates of IF.

Kalanna roared with laughter and nearly put a hole in the ceiling when she pounded her fist into the air. “THAT’S GREAT! HEHEH!” She rubbed away a tear from her eye, still chortling.

Lily had ended up rolling on the floor with laughter herself and managed to pick herself up as Kalanna regained her composure.

“Alright, I guess I better show you my new pad... just don’t think about touching my horde.” Kalanna warned as she and Lily left the Inn for Linear Lane once more.

As they approached Kalanna’s new place, Lily spotted her friend Harley poking about the brush on the side of the street, muttering about her whiskey supplier being a “greedy, soulless prat”. Lily put a finger to her lips and winked at Kalanna as she unfurled her wings and flew silently behind Harley. When Lily was a hairsbreadth away, she reached out and gave a slight tug on Harley’s hair.

“AGGHHH!” Harley screeched as she fell into the brush.

“OOOF!” Something made a noise as she fell on it.

“What the hell did I fall on?” Harley rubbed her head and pulled up a bit of worn looking black leather. “WEAVER!”

“AGHH! I’ve been attacked by a pixie!” Masterweaver wrenched himself free from Harley’s hand and took off as far and as fast as he could go.

“DAMN IT HARLS!” Kalanna stepped in now and grabbed Harley by a wing and brought her up close to her face to glare at her. “I wanted to have him stuffed and mounted on my wall beside Lecro’s head! You’ve just ruined my afternoon sport!”

Harley made to retort but instead sneezed.... all over Kalanna’s snout. “Ugh.. I think I’ve got a cold.” Harley moaned.

Kalanna made an indistinguishable sound and crumpled the three-foot alcoholic fairy into a small ball and hurled it as hard as she could.

“Kalanna, did you have to toss her into Stasis Hall? She’s sober.” Lily shot a sidelong look at Kalanna, playfully whining as Kalanna cleaned her snout and face off.

“Disgusting.. Absolutely disgusting..” Kalanna muttered, waving goodbye to Lily as she stomped off into her abode.

Lily giggled slightly, the unease she felt when she first returned to the city now gone as she settled into the random yet usual sillyness the city was known for. She took off for her abode once more, Fantasy Forest.

Only once she got there, it wasn’t as she left it.


Well, here it is! And a Two parter DP! What is different about the Forest that has Lily irked, irritated, pissed off, or weirded out? AND! Who is the next character introduced?

[Masterweaver]

A: The L-beast has left IF.
B: The difference is that Chinaren has sold various plots of land to various people. Myself not included.

Good story! Please lower the rating, though. There's a lot of lewd going through Tales Of IF recently.

[NeverNeverGirl]

I'd say Lordy has started posting again and it sends lily into a spin ... (okay you caught me out - i have no ideas)

and the next character? who havent we seen yet? Zeph?

and why was Lordy macking on D?

[Mephistopheles]

hmm, seems that a lot of the WOWusers hung out in fantasy forest, maybe there is a memorial for them that Lily finds disturbing? As for who gets introduced next...perhaps cyberworm?

not sure what you are wanting to do here lily, makes it hard to reply. have fun with it though!

[Guest]

Ok, I admit it! I've used Fantasy Forest to hide the stuff I've been stealing. I can't keep it all in that thing I call an apartment. If I did, then the building would collapse.

I say that Whitey gets introduced.