City of IF

[Lilith]

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS STRONG LANGUAGE! NOT FOR THE ONES WITH PARENTS OVER THEIR SHOULDERS OR WHO HAVE NEVER, EVER HEARD A CURSE WORD IN THEIR LIFE!

A SIDE NOTE! THIS STORY IS BUILT ON THE SILLY RUMOURS AND THINGS THAT GO ON IN IF AND IN THE INN! IF, FOR ANY REASON, THE JOKE THAT IS MADE IN A CHAPTER ABOUT YOUR IFIAN PERSONA YOU CAN'T TAKE... THEN GET OVER IT AND DON'T READ THE STORY. THIS STARTED OFF AS FUN AND WILL REMAIN SO AS LONG AS I HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD SPORTS WITH THEIR SENSES OF HUMOR!


Chapter 2: ... SICK?!

A large marble pedestal was placed on the entry path to Fantasy Forest, the plaque engraved with “In remembrance of our dear lost IFians that we have lost to the ‘crack... Find your way home soon.” Lilith walked a circuit around it, the statuette nothing more than a block of marble exquisitely carved in block lettering “WARCRACK MEMORIAL”.

She stopped and shook her head. “Shouldn’t this be in the Open Forum?” she muttered aloud to herself as she backed away from the monument ... and right into someone else Lilith jumped, startled and whirled around, her hand flying to the handle of her sword.

“Now Lily, do you intend to fight a friend?” Zephyr put his hands in his pockets, looking for all the world like a retired war general.

“You startled me Zephyr, I wasn’t expecting anyone to know I was back yet except the ones I’ve run into.” Lilith replied, leaning absentmindedly against a tree trunk, giving the marble piece a scrutinizing look.

“A few of the Council had it commissioned... They had it put here because many of the Ifians we lost to the ‘crack hung out here in Fantasy Forest.” Zephyr explained, watching the smouldering from Lily’s eyes fade slowly.

Eventually she sighed and stood up straight. “Well, I suppose it can’t be helped.”

Zeph pulled his hand out of his pocket and looked at his mod ring curiously; the green stone was pulsing gently. Lily’s was as well.

“That’ll be Crunchyfrog. We better go.” Zeph said as Lily visibly slumped.

“Ugh, I’m so friggin tired.”Lily said as she gave up on her nap in the big oak tree and took off for the City Hall.

Upon arriving, Lily was greeted by a very strange sight. NeverNeverGirl was pale and her hair was pulled back into a no-nonsense bun while her attire, was in fact modest. She blew her nose and coughed into a handkerchief a few times and glanced a few times at Mephistopheles after pushing her glasses back on her nose.

Mephistopheles himself was no better off. Once milk-white, smooth skin was now brown and leathery while quick sharp eyes were now blue and almost blind with cataracts. Messy pulled his red sweater closer about him and whined about “Mother left without saying goodbye.”

Lily shook herself as she saw the dull and dim-witted Lordy once more, now picking at his teeth. Rai, whom she had just left that morning, was no better off than the other three.

She was, shockingly enough, in her human form, too frail to even ponder lifting a weapon, too crazed to ponder anything as she looked about her and flinched at every sound, giving the appearance that she might take off running at any minute .

“Kalanna?” Lilith approached the woman and Kalanna visibly flinched and made squeaking sound.

“What the hell is going on here?” Lily said aloud as the Mayoress Frog herself stepped forward, dragging by the arm a very admonished looking D-Lotus. He allowed himself to be dragged along and once Crunchyfrog let go, D clapped his hands together gleefully and made to dash away, but two of Crunchy’s work frogs caught him.

“Aww... but I wanna slide down the banister in Crunchy’s house again ” D whined.

“Not today, D-Lotus.” Crunchyfrog snapped back, absentmindedly stroking the chipmunk on her shoulder.

Zephyr, after recovering from his shock of the scene, grabbed Messy by the shoulders and shook him. “What’s wrong with you man? Wake up ” As Messy’s head lolled about from side to side, Messy began to cough heavily, spewing spit and mucous all over Zeph’s face.

“Gross...” Zephyr said, letting go of Mephistopheles and pulling out a tissue to wipe his face off with.

Phang appeared with a pop and puff purple smoke, looking like her normal self. “Oy, what’s with the emergency summons, boss lady, eh?”

Solus.serpen moved slowly and gave a silent nod to Crunchyfrog to acknowledge she was there.

“It seems as though we have an illness sweeping it’s way through our moderators.... and not only our moderators, IF as well.” Crunchyfrog stepped slowly, looking at each ill mod in turn, her strappy red 5 inch spiked heels clicking audibly. “For every ill moderator you see, a section of IF falls ill as well..”

“And erm.. By ill you mean??” Phang asked, raising her foot delicately away from the ground after Messy fell flat on his face in front of her.

Crunchyfrog shook her head. “I do not know exactly what this is... We need more information about this... what it does, how it is caused, and more importantly, how to get rid of it.”

“But the only two people that could possibly figure that out are, as I am led to believe, missing..... How convienent.” Lily said, surreptiously bending down to roll Messy over and check for a pulse. Lilith shook herself. “What the heck? He has a pulse!” She did a double-take on Mephistopheles and saw that he was, in fact, breathing.

Crunchyfrog’s heels clicked again. “In fact it seems our only healthy ones are myself, Lily and Phang. Zephyr, Mephistopheles just sneezed on you, you’ve been exposed to the pathogen.” Instantly, Lily, Solus. and Phang backed away from the ill IFians and clustered closer to Crunchyfrog.

“This... kinda sucks.” Phang stated flatly.

“Well then... what do you propose we do?” Crunchyfrog looked at Phang, Solus, and Lily, waving a hand at Rai, NeverNeverGirl, Lordofthenight, Mephistopheles, D-Lotus, and the worried-looking Zephyr.

“Lock ourselves in a safe-room until it passes?” Phang offered, looking hopeful.

“We have Zephyr to watch the pathogen progress on even though it seems to have a different effect on different IFians.” Solus said slowly. “We might get a general idea as to what is affected, and a possible way to treat the symptoms. In the meantime, someone needs to track down IM and Jez, seeing that the “crack investigator” on the case is now an blithering fool.” They all looked at D-Lotus, who was now gurgling like a child and bringing his index finger across his lips very quickly, making a rather annoying sound

Well, well, well! So.. we have a plan... of sorts... Now, who is going to be our team of hounds to hunt down the two people who could figure out how in the heck to fix this mysterious "illness". Note that most moderators are out of action so you're gonna have to come up with some IFians other than them.

Good luck!

[Guest]

hmmm I would say Cy, Harley, Whitey, MW, Meanie, Aponi, Sasuke, The Dark and Player of Fates.

(random mix-up I know)

I have a suggestion for the sick Ifians. Stick em in hamsterballs for quarentining.

[Mephistopheles]

lol, yeah, team up the dark and Harley, that would be highly amusing. Drunk fairy and twisted individual always equates to lots of entertainment! anyways, think that harley pointed out all the ifians that are yet regulars but not ill. (thanks Harley!)

Have fun!

[Chinaren]

Heh. Sick. I suggest it's this infernal EPN banner, which is somehow infecting IF. I know it's slowing down my page loads a whole bunch. Ggrrrr. :mad:

[Crunchyfrog]

Get Cren, stuff him into the Review Board's very realistic Head Eater rubber suit* for protection, and send him into the thick of it.

That'll do the trick.

:-D

*(complete with voice changing synthesizer and speech impediment)

[Mastermind]

Mephistopheles wrote: think that harley pointed out all the ifians that are yet regulars but not ill.
Hey! I do post... occasionally...

Anyways, excellent story Lily.

[Head Eater]

Grrwwaaarraraaahhhhggghhh!!!

The Head Eater issss not a rubber ssssuit! SSSSSSsssssss!!!!! I am real, REAL I tell you!!! SSssssss!!!!

Neverthelesssss, thissss sssstorygame has proved itssss worthinessss.

[solus.serpen]

Ah, just caught up. Great SG so far, although I imagine Jez isn't going to like being portrayed as a missing mod. ;)

Does this mean I'm not ill then? :D

Anyhoo, I voted for chinaren dressed as our dear Head Eater. Now I should probably look at what everyone else voted for...

~Solus :)

[Lilith]

Alrighty then! Looks like we have a winner! Keep your eyes peeled for a new chappy!

[The White Blacksmith]

Ah... just read this. Well done!

Yeah, I think the Head Eater idea's a good one.