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The Dark
Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 108
Location: Tome.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 1:51 am Post subject: The Dark chapter 14 - Splatter. Part one. |
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To read this you need to be some kind of sicko that gets off on suffering, vulgar porn and all the rest. You know it, The Dark knows it, let’s not pretend any more. Just read it, get it over with, then relax in your newfound freedom from moral obligation.
This has been A Dark warning. Thank you for your attention.
Chapter 14. Splatter. Part one.
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D-Lotus
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA
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| Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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Shocking! It was Prime's place! (Pun intended).
I detected this mistake:
Quote: Stepping over the child’s body, he peering around the corner of a crumbling building.
As for the rest, very intriguing and awesome. Now I'll go get my popcorn and wait for the second half. |
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Chinaren
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
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| Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 3:25 am Post subject: |
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Ooh, exciting chapter there Dark.
~Stuffs popcorn into his face whilst waiting~ |
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Smee
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:17 am Post subject: |
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*Steals some of Chinny's popcorn, slurps on Slushpuppy and chomps on peanut M'n'M's.*
Half the amusement comes simply from reading your warnings. Keep it coming, Darky.
:lol: |
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The Dark
Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 108
Location: Tome.
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:34 am Post subject: |
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| Part 2 of this chapter, complete with decision point, shall be posted in a new thread momentarily. |
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The Meaning Of Fear
Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 980
Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: “This is fun, I should come down her
Here...
Otherwise, the writing is grammatically and spelling-ly perfect. |
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