City of IF

[Reasoner]

Chapter Prologue


The air around was humid and blanketed with the smell of rotting flesh. I could not of told you how long a lie there, eyes closed because I was too scared to open them. It seems like days have rolled on and combat could still be heard in the distance. Screaming men killing other screaming men, it all seemed so agonizingly foolish now.

I knew I had to open my eyes sooner or later, I will die here of dehydration if I don't act soon. Yet life seemed so....repetitive and without cause.

Then the fighting stopped and an unnatural silence was cast over the immediate area. My chance to look around, my chance to survive.

I opened my eyes, closed for the longest, most derived period of time, and was blinded by light from the high noon sun. I slowly adjusted my eyes to light again and saw a clear, blue sky with few wispy clouds speeding across. After the chaos of earlier battle, I dub it the most beautiful thing ever to grace my sight.

As I tried to get up, the weight of another body kept me still. I lifted my head and saw a badly mauled corpse, throwing it off myself in disgust. I lifted my head, and slowly rose to standing position. Then I looked around at the carnage and devestation.

Chapter One


I woke, grumbling and mumbling while only half-awake. I slipped out of my terribly itchy bed. Rubbing my eyes, hopefully rubbing away the sleepiness, and took a look around. I saw another three beds lined up (I live in a family of four) and across form the beds a table with candles burnt out on top of an old cloth in the middle. Try to imagine an L with the beds pushed to the top of it, a table at the intersection, and a fire place at the bottom corner of it. Other than some dressers and a bookshelf, that's about all of my house.

I stumbled off to the table, scratching my scraggly hair and rubbing my stomach in hunger. Then I heard a deep, resonate voice behind me,"Morning Venn."

"Arghh!" I shouted in surprise, turning to see the kind gentle face of my father looking down at me in caring love,"Father," I screamed,"For the last time, stop-"

My Father cupped his hand over my mouth,"Sh, quiet your talk, you'll wake the neighbors." He sat there looking at me with that 'how could you be so stupid' face you always get from your parents when you do something foolish, then he burst out laughing and trying to talk at the same time,"Oh, *hehe* you should have *haha* seen your face." after that I couldn't understand a word he was trying to say due to the mass hysteria.

"Pardon Dad, but what's so funny?" I inquired innocently, genuinely confused. Still though, he could not stop laughing.

After about six minutes he finally quieted himself,"Did you really think I was serious with the whole waking up ordeal. It's half past noon already, and if your wondering where breakfast is, we ate it." I just stood in disbelief. Half past noon. How could they let me sleep so long. "Oh, and Venn son, don't forget your brother's birthday this year. He was highly disappointed last year."

Then my eyes widened even more. I can't believe I forget his birthday again. I looked up to my father, help me written across my face. "Don't worry son," he assured me,"I'll give you some money for every good thing you do."

"Deal." I replied.

Excited, I grabbed my hat and rushed out the door outside. My village, personally, is the best around. There's a set of houses inside of a U shaped rise, the bottom of the U where the ramp would be, slowly ascending upwards where bridge connects the two. Also, inside the village, there's a ramp that leads down to the beach and from the bridge there's a ramp that leads down to the gardens out front. The Inn and the shops were at the intersecting ramps near the beach.

Well, It's time to go asking around, but where do I start? I didn't know where to start. So I started searching around where I live, the right ramp. As I came to where it sloped inward I heard suppressed voices from behind the nearby buildings. I turned the corner and saw Hank, the butcher, introducing his lips to some women. He turned and noticed me. Muffling his surprised yelp.

"Venn, what are you doing back here? Never mind that, I'll give you a copper piece if you don't tell my wife. Deal?" He spoke in a shaky voice, holding out his hand. I clasped it tightly and shook.

"Deal!" I said as he handed me a copper piece. Those two started getting even more intimate as I was leaving, but I didn't care to watch. Rounding the corner, I remembered what my father said. A copper piece for every good dead huh? I was formulating an idea in my head how I could take advantage of that. As I was walking down the ramp I reached a decision.

I ran up to the butcher's house shouting,"Maddy,Maddy, I saw your husband behind the houses back yonder, and he gave me this copper piece."

"Oh, why would he do that?" Maddy replied in a sweet friendly voice.

"Well I saw him with this one girl and they were doing this one thing with their tongues where they would-" I purposefully drowned one without stopping.

She interrupted with a face of stone,"Tell me now, Venn, where is this husband of mine ."

I answered like I didn't understand what was going on, even though I did. Didn't want her to let on I knew it was a bribe. "Oh, he's at the corner up there behind the houses, why are you so grim?" She just walked away without another word. One good dead done, but I'll get the money later.

I kept walking down to find a man in distress. I shimmied my way over to the building crowd. "Could anyone," his voice booming,"Please help me?"

He ranted on, but that's all I heard before I volunteered,"Um, excuse me sir," I politely interrupted,"but I'm willing to help."

"Splendid!" he cried out in pure joy,"Your perfect for the job. I dropped my journal down between the houses whilst I was writing on my roof about the sky."

Without a word, I slipped into the small crevice and begin sliding to the end, where his book lay. As I picked the book up, a copper piece fell out. Taking kindly to my luck, I took, probably stole, the copper coin and went back out of the crevice. I handed the book back to him and he thanked me genuinely. Two good deeds done, so I headed back to my father.

"I heard what you've done, son, and I'm proud. So here's two copper pieces as promised, now go by your brother a present." He shooed me off towards the shop and I travelled there obediently.

When I got there I haggled and payed all four copper coins for a box of chocolates. Then I asked if the trader knew where my brother was.

"Well, last he told me she was headed down to the beach, so you better go hurry." He shoved me in the direction I needed to go and off I was again. Past the houses, down the ramp, and there I was, at the beach.

"Excuse me, Yoki, I brought you-"

"A box of chocolates," he turned to me and smiled,"thank you, little brother." I stood there and saw my brother I've seen millions of times. He was wearing a peasants smock, and his hair was let free and hung down to his shoulders. He was pretty skinny, and definitely frail.

"Just wanted to say, happy birth-"

"Bandits, sound the alarm! Bandits!" I was cut off by the shouting of man running towards the town. I looked back to my brother to find that he was gone. Then I was stuck on what to do. Should I hide in the crevices near the beach, look for my brother, or go to my family?

Oh God, what should I do! Actually, you readers, what should I do?

[Advarr]

Run into the nearest house and let the bandits and wizard duke it out, then go with the winner. The stories not bad, just a little morbid.

Also, if you did get this Idea where I think you got it, you better completely change it! I'm not kidding, it's copywriting!

X.x

Your New Reader (For now),
Varr

[Novelest_Ninjagirl]

This is an. . . unoriginal idea. When I read it, it sounde dlike someone had just put hte game FAble into story form. Also, there were many typos tha tcould have easily been caught if you had just gone through it. The sences were seriously repeated from FAble. and I suggest rewriting them, maybe doing different acts? The idea is. . .innocent enugh, just no very made-up. It's very likely tha tif you published this, you might get sued for copywrite laws. Also, the DP is to drastic, to much of a change. Whatever we choose could seriously damagethe plot you should have vaguely in your mind. Until youshape this up a bit, I'm afriad I can't give a DP. Sorry.

[Reasoner]

Dear Concerned Readers,

Since I'm in such a rare and extraordinarily good mood, I have changed it some what. The sister is now a brother, I changed the dp to be less, dramatic, and some story plot and setting was changed. Also, I fixed some spelling and grammer issues, though there probably are more. I can't believe I'm actually saying this but....thankyou for the advice....and that may be the only time I ever think about saying that again. I hope this changes your mind, for I opt for a good start in this place, though my start is always bad. Now please give advice freely.

[Advarr]

Ok, I admit, it is off handly better and less copied. Although try, in future chapters and stories, to never do something like that again. It's an asbsolutely horrible thing to do. And sometime saying thankyou is just what you need, eh?

Your Slightly More Intrested Reader,
Varr

[DeadManWalking]

Well idk about this coying stuff.

How many times have you looked at the plot of a story, or a movie, or a video game and wondered, "What would it be like if this had happened instead?", or said "OMG THIS GUY IS AN IDIOT. That's not what I would've done AT ALL."

Sometimes you just gotta write it down.

[/rant]

So, not having played fable, I don't know all the similarities that others have found. However, I think he should go to his family. Family is important.

Plus a lot of character development happens when someone sees their family slaughtered like pigs before their eyes.

[Novelest_Ninjagirl]

okay. . .a little bit better. This story will probably bug me, but it hits home. I got the idea of, but not based it off of, The sightless seer from the stay thing you're basing this off of. This is slightkly better. The discrptions, when you have them, are good, but there aren't enough of them. The story is doing well so far. As for the dp, go to your family.

[Reasoner]

I think I won.....

I solemnly enjoy you saying that. So, seeing as how viewers, so far would like to go see the family slaughter, I will add an answer of my own. Of course I would ditch the village and save my own life, the only sensible thing to do. There's other options too, like fight...would be bloody...I like bloody. Jump a boat, or even catch a horse.

[Reasoner]

Ok, polls up, time to vote.

[Dean]

Sounds good so far. Go back to your family, I'm sure they're important.

[Reasoner]

After the extremely long wait, its finally here. I kinda got caught up in some of the moments of my life that sucked more than everything else. Anyway, I got the chapter up, and here is one chapter that hopefully expands your vocabulary.


Chapter 2


I looked around and awoke to my new surroundings, the peaceful beauty of nature devastated by
harsh battle of man. I took another look up at the sky, and a miraculous thing happened. The sun lit up in a great iridescent* flash, then just, blackened. It was a dull black color, seemingly gray, yet, the area around was still lit up, even with the absence of the sky, as if the some kind of thaumaturgic** power was acting upon it.

Suddenly a sharp cry could be heard from the forest to the east, trees blackened and burnt by war. The trees used to have a beauteous red shaded bark, with aqua blue leaves. I used my vision to comb through the smoking trees and found the source of the cry. A soldier in brilliantly shining armor stood with a gorgeous, golden crested, double-edged, two handed sword held high in the air, was the source, and now he was shouting out in a language I couldn't understand.

All of a sudden, a troupe of horsemen burst out from behind the trees in a full gallop towards me. It was unmistakable now, they were the enemy, yet I was caught without a weapon, in the center of a field. I was perfect prey for a horseman. The horseman began to bifurcate*** in order to encircle me.

I didn't take time to ponder on what to do, I just began running, and a few seconds of full sprinting I almost ran straight of a cliff edge, swaying in the mere breeze between a fatal plunge into the white sea or a stumble back on to the near edge of the cliff, but even then, I would have to deal with mounted soldiers, that are clearly enemy.

*iridescent-Displaying a play of lustrous colors like those of the rainbow.
**thaumaturgic-Having, brought about by, or relating to supernatural powers or magic.
***bifurcate-To split or branch into two parts.

__________________________________

I groaned as I pulled the weight of my torso, which was unusually heavy and a burden to lift, up into a sitting position. I couldn't see much, accounting for absolutely no lighting around, it was definitely nightfall, but with no way to see the moon, I couldn't accurately judge time. I unwillingly groaned again, tiring from keeping the weight of my body up, so I began to stand.

I slowly began to wake up fully, and all of a sudden, the past few hours rushed back to my memory. I hated every second of those few hours I was awake, I could have helped, I could have saved people, but I was too pusillanimous* and ran away, like the coward I am. Now I am hating every second of remembering those terrible hours, and and I was very meticulous to everything that happened.

The small, white grains of sand warm on my feet, the soft drumming of the waves, the majestic rocks rising up to form the side of the ramps. I can even remember the cool breeze brushing along my hair. The salty smell from the ocean, everything seemed perfect. Except for the screams of longing and agonising, and the shouts of excitement from bandits. My legs suddenly began to move on their own, without thought, I was running away.

I found my favorite spot to hide, a place no one new of, where I could hide. it was along the cliff face on the left part of the beach. The rock wall had a little opening, which it would hang just two feet off the ground. If you would lay down, sideways you could roll under, because the opening was pretty much overhang from the rocks, hundreds of years of high tide washing against the rocks eventually grated it away, then, a pool of water formed in the inside, just over a ridge you have to climb.

Once inside, I found my torch, that I would hide there for when I wanted to be alone. I lit it quickly, and took a look around, again taking in every detail, the shallow cave stretch under the rocks all the way to my house, and about twenty feet wide all the way there. There was a naturally formed pool in the middle of the cave, in which you could hear rhythmatic dripping from the moisture from the ceiling. The walls of the cave where cracked and jagged, and there were rocks jutting out from floor.

I lie there in uncertainty for what I should next do, I knew nothing of what was happening above me, all I could hear was the tortured screams of the dying for the next hour or so. You tend to lose track of time when you can hear the agonized screams of the people you know. Finally, I managed to silently cry myself to sleep, after I put out the torch of course.

Now, fully awake, I regained all my thoughts and headed towards the back entrance I made near my house, in the woods behind it. I slowly climbed the rock wall up to the, and lifted the flat rock that I laid there to cover the entrance, which was unordinarily heavy. As I pushed it to the side, the first light of dawn seeped into and spread around the cavern.

I pushed it fully to the side and climbed out, then I glanced to see wait made that rock so heavy. I stared in dismay as the morbid image scarred my memory. I found what had weighted down my rock, the mutilated bodies of my dead parents. My mother's shining blue eyes were dull, lifeless, dead. It was a message from the bandits, "Your next." is all I could think of.

"Hello? Venn, are you around?" I could hear from the center of town, it was a strange voice, and I didn't recognise it, so I didn't go straight towards him. Unable to think, choking on the tears for my parents, I will just have to wait. Now its time to decide what to do.

I could go back into hiding, but evidently the bandits knew I was in there, I could also go see who that mysterious stranger was, or I could go look for my brother, who is still gone. Argh!! What do I do?

*pusillanimous-cowardly

[Reasoner]

Well, Its late, but it would be nice if someone actually decided to like, give their opinion on the dp...it would be nice so I could actually continue this story, next week is rolling around and still nothing. It just makes me a little more depressed.

[Reasoner]

well, sadly, I have allowed over a week and more for a reply, and there is none, I have to wonder if its my story, or if people just don't care... anyway, if there is something wrong with it, please, go ahead and tell me now. If not, I will be continuing the story in three days...

[Christalnightshade]

Hey I love it! I really like it! The errors doesn't bother me. I think go see who the stranger is.

[Reasoner]

Well, I'm glad you have enjoyed my story. For anyone still following this story, please vote in the poll.