City of IF

[Gallant]

Devanth took heavy breaths on his approach. Each step carefully placed to make the least impact on the floor. The ground was hot and hard. Very unstable, if Devanth was to tread too hard he might attract unwantedk attention to himself. He brought himself to the edge of darkness and gazed apon his freedom. The only problem was the guards.

Great crimson creatures clad in dark steel towered over one of seven fiery gates embedded in a wall so infinitely tall it dwarfed the monsters guarding it. These were the keepers of the gate, nine thousand in number they roam the walls and stand by the doorways of hell making sure no one enters that is unwelcome and more importantly no one escapes. Their great horns twisted above their heads and heated breath flowed from a maw made up from more tooth than face.
Bells peeled which indicated the changing of the guard. One of them heaved a colossal leaver rusted with millenia. This activated many traps to kill or maim any chancer thinking himself wily enough to spring out in the few moments the gates were left unguarded. Devanth was that chancer.
Devanth blended with the shadows well. A part from the orange glow of his eyes he was nearly invisible. Letting out a long held in sigh he prepared himself for the gauntlet he was about to run. The guardians were out of sight and ear shot. Releasing himself from the hiding place Devanth put his arse out in the open at a brisk nervous speed. His eyes shifted left and right searching for his would be captures. Comfortable with the fact no one was witnessing his escape he broke out into a sprint. He made sure the knife in his teeth was secure, he would need it if he wanted to get further than the gate.

He made a charge for the gates whilst dodging and outrunning the many obstacles left in the guardians stead. Spike traps opened up which were easily leapt. Lava pools revealed themselves which he could run on for a few moments, thankfully they weren't that big. He managed through a variety of traps and magical enchantments before the final one which was a fast moving mist. This was the obliviator mist, designed more to keep people out, it surrounded him and the gate. If he was to make it out it had to be now. Red dust flew up at his rear and fire licked his skin as he slammed through the flaming gates of hell. Now that he was outside the province of his prison he could at last use the dagger in his mouth, running his tongue across the edge of the blade blood was drawn. The metal absorbed this as it was its way of identifying who was using the rare artifact.

Suddenly a light plumed in front of Devanth and with no noise at all he was gone. When he reappeared he found himself in the middle of a street. The road was blacker than the night thanks to the polluting glow street lights gave off. Before Devanth got his bearings a rumble appeared under his weight. A deep rumble.

[shy_blu_eyes]

Off to a good start, although the escape through the gate seems too easy. I recommend you expand the escape so it builds more suspense and explains/describes things a little bit more, and then use the expanded version as a first chapter instead of a prologue.

I'm confused as to how this relates to your "Highway from Hell" topic over in games. I was hoping you were eventually going to revive that as an RPG.

So far, You've got me interested enough to read chapter one, and that's really what the prologue is all about.

:sad: :lol: :x :censored: :-o
:-D See You in Hell! :grin:

[DeadManWalking]

me likey.

This is coool.

[Reasoner]

A mysterious start, though the scenery could be a little better described... other than that, I like this one (a little)

[Lilith]

Waiting as patiently as possible for the next bit of this one Gallant.... but that's getting difficult. :) HURRY UP! :P

[ashkent]

I like the start to this one too, athough I agree that for an escape it does seem a little over and done with quickly. But, i'm not the author, so i'll sit and twiddle something while I wait for more.

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