City of IF

[Smudger]

Being Dead Ain’t All Bad

You think dying is it. Over. Finito. Capute. Other words that mean the same thing just I can’t think of any at this particular moment. But you get the general idea right? Basically you cease to exist after you snuff it. Well I thought so too. I thought when I die, 70 or 80 years from now, I’d just expire. Well, I was wrong. About the dying part and when I would kick the bucket. There’s so many ways to say you died, did you notice?

Well, my story goes in the way of me doing my regular routine. I work at a coffee shop called Binky’s. It’s a coffee chain all over America. Pay’s crap but I needed the money for college. Anyway I head out to open up as it was a favour for one of my mates who needed me to cover him that morning. So in I go at 6am bleary eyed and yawning every two seconds. Of course I hadn’t noticed the big warning signs. It had been my weekend off. And my phone was dead as I had lost my charger. All these little things I remember now and think what if? Anyway, back to my departure. There’s another one! So, I head into the shop and start preparing all the different types of coffees, cleaning out the coffee machines, unpacking the different cookies that’d be sold that morning to those needing a sugar rush before work. So after doing this and that, I realized I hadn’t had my nicotine fix. Now in the States you can smoke anywhere anytime you goddamn well please. So I lit up there. Two seconds later the whole shop explodes. So me, and Binky’s coffee shop in Downtown San Diego is blown off the face of the planet. The warning signs
were of a gas leak. Fancy that.

So there we go. I am now in the land of the deceased. To even be in the lands of the deceased surprised me. I didn’t even know I was dead until I saw all those people walking about with ghastly wounds all over their bodies. Then I realised my hands were actually just smoking husks. That scared the crap out of me I’ll admit that right now. All the other unfortunate dead were walking forward, so I decided to follow. Seemed logical. So off I went with the hacked, shot to pieces, burnt, drowned and elderly dead people. One guy had to carry his head in his arms. That wasn’t pleasant with all that sinew hanging out. Whoever had done it obviously were idiots. So this disastrously macabre line staggered, dragged and stumbled towards this giant gate. This was a new thing to me. So eventually I got to the gate to see all these clerical people with books and muttering to the souls, I was guessing of the dead. I gradually made my way to the desk of one of those desk jockeys. He squinted down at me with those massive glasses that made his eyes look like bug eyes.

“Jay Thomas?” He said in a high pitched voice.

“Eh, yeah, that’s me I guess.” I said in an uncertain voice.

“Dead, by a gas explosion in a coffee shop, 21 years of age, was due to go to Purdue to do philosophy. Lived with his parents at number 25 on Blake Avenue. Had three sisters and a little brother. Went to high school at-“

“Please, stop. I don’t need a summary of my life. It sucked, I know so you going over all the details really won’t make it any better.”

“Fine. You, have options young man. You can either go to Hell, serve Death or serve as someone’s Guardian Angel. You have done very little to go to Heaven. The choice is yours,” said the clerk haughtily.

Hell is out of the question. But...Death or Angel? That’s a choice.

There you go people, choose 1 :)

[DeadManWalking]

Nice job.

Can't wait for the next part to come out.

[Reasoner]

*completely suprised that everyone picked serve death* I was just interested, and death is intrigueing...but so many others picked it... I guess it does make the story more original over all...I mean, anyone can be a guardian angel. I'm sure if someone told me my options, they'd only give me one, and that would be one painful option. nice story by the way, I was interested enough to vote.

[Smudger]

Thanks for the feedback :D Death will be interesting to write about. Guardian Angels I had ideas already about but Death I can make into anything :lol:

[Crunchyfrog]

Mwah, I went for Guardian Angel. Really because I was interested in who he might be assigned to be guardian angel for.

[The White Blacksmith]

Same here.

Alo, good first chapter!

[tramp in a storm]

I voted for Angel...well...because...it all depends on what the guardian angel does. He could have some fun, pretending to be good but secretly plaining tricks on people.

*is reminded of the Oopsy Daisey Angle play that's gonna haunt me for life...*

[Tavanesh]

Awesome Smudger! When I first started reading through it, I thought to myself, "These paragraphs are jumbled?" but I realized it worked so well! Definitely advantageous, you should keep at it. Everything just seemed to flow as I kept reading.

I also like the way this could go, and his new "job."

[tramp in a storm]

The polls are tied! Wow he'd be a busy man doing both!

[The White Blacksmith]

*laughs* I just got Bob on you, Tramp!

[ceej]

angel, you could do that and then you could get into trouble, be forced into death! that way you can get both aspects sort of!