City of IF

[Javert]

Don't know what to call this. An idea, maybe, or at least the illusion of one. The only thing I'm sure of is that the following work is the culmination of two hours watching "Benjamin Button," the consumption of an entire jar of peanut butter, and the fevered thoughts of two o'clock in the morning. And so we go.

Two months after Dax had slammed the door of the small office on 7th with a loud “I’m changing my number” thrown over his shoulder--two months to the day--the phone rang.

To be precise, slammed is not exactly the right word. The door was actually made of glass with one of those strange folding bars attached to the top--you know, the ones that stop you from smashing the door against the frame after you have just been landed with the debt of a folded business. It should have read: Two months after Dax had firmly closed the door of the small office on 7th with a loud “I’m changing my number” thrown over his shoulder--two months to the day--the phone rang. And the building wasn’t really on 7th. It was actually off on a little side-street behind a large billboard decorated with a picture of a fat women holding a thin glass full of some bright pink shake. The picture had always bothered Dax. He thought it should be the other way round, with a large glass holding a thin woman or something like that. Plus, it really didn’t have anything to do with electronics, which would have been nice as it would have matched the décor of the office behind it. It really would have been a lot better if they had put some thin young celebrity which people would have wanted to stop and take pictures of and, while they were at it, drop off their broken circuit-boards that they’ve “always been meaning to get around to.”

But the model remained large and unattractive and the passers-by were left to suffer with inferior circuits and a business without business is no business at all. That’s how Eddie saw it at least, but it was obvious that the company shouldn’t have tanked so quickly. Dax wasn’t really good with money, but he knew enough that when you were only paying a couple hundred for rent, you don’t need that many customers to make up the difference. And they did have customers, though not enough to make the big bucks. But even small change would have padded his pocket enough to get away from his priest and move somewhere where sackcloth and ashes weren‘t part of the dress code.

Dax guessed--rather, was almost certain--that the profit was going to Eddie’s Big Secret. Eddie had bragged more than once about something huge he was working on out on a piece of land some obscure relative left him. He had no idea where it was, or what it was for that matter, but he knew it was big. Dax had pieced enough bits together to figure out that it was huge, as in Einstein-huge. Or at least, Eddie thought it was. Something about fundamentally changing the world of physics as we know it.

Unfortunately, Eddie’s Big Secret had developed a big appetite--for money. Sure, Eddie didn’t really hide where the money was going, but he certainly downplayed it big-time. “A hundred or so” easily became more than a thousand whenever Dax added up the numbers. Apparently, no price was too big to pay for advancing our view of the big picture.

Towards the end there was a lot of bickering back and forth across the useless conference table in the back room. Eddie was so concentrated on the big picture that he failed to see their small hardware store falling to pieces around them. Their last day was commemorated by the loudest shouting match to date and ended with the ultimate ultimatum--thrown out by a now thoroughly irate Dax to an equally frustrated and red-faced Eddie; give up your secret, or give up the business. There was really no contest. Eddie would never fail humanity over a petty money squabble, and Dax had to bow to “simple logic” and take a not-so-graceful exit.

That was two months ago, and even the pious landlord was getting annoyed. You can only be a squatter for so long before people start asking about money. But at least he still had running water and electricity. And a telephone, even if he only used it on Friday nights to order a large pepperoni. Which was why it took Dax a minute to figure out what was happening.

The phone never rang. In fact, Dax wasn’t even sure if it could ring; he had never known it to. Maybe it was the fire alarm--that had never gone off either. Although if there was a fire he should have been able to smell smoke. He sniffed. Nothing. Must be the phone then.

Grunting, Dax sat up on the edge of the bed and grabbed a tattered robe off the bedpost. It was dark, and the moon and stars weren’t visible out the small window. It must have been past midnight, although it could have been anywhere from eleven at night to four in the morning. Dax didn’t own a clock or a watch.

Still mostly asleep, he made his way out of the bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen. There were no windows in the room, but a small green light was flashing wildly on the telephone’s headset. Dax shuffled over to the receiver, grabbed it, and pressed it up against his ear.

Now what? Dax thought stupidly, still trying to get his head around the concept that his phone had rung. He grunted.

“That you, Dax?” said a voice to his mouth.

Turning the receiver around, Dax grunted again.

“Great. Look, D, I finished it.”

Somehow, Dax’s brain thought up a reply. “Who is this?”

“Oh come on, its been two months.”

A moment of silence and then -- “Eddie!”

It was more of a shout of surprise than a statement of fact, but it would do.

“Good to know I’m not forgotten, man. Look, --”

“How did you get this number?”

“What? No, look, that’s not why I called --”

Suddenly angry, Dax started shouting. “How did you get this number!?”

“Chill, dude. Daddy Paul gave it to me.”

“How would you know Father Paul!?”

“I know people, a’ight? Now look, I really need your help --”

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“No, not really. And to tell the truth, I don’t care. If you’d just let me finish --”

“It’s the middle of the night, Eddie.” Dax let out big yawn to emphasize the point. “Do you know what that means?”

“No, but I--”

“It means,” emphasized Dax, “that the decent people of the world are trying to get a little sleep! I don’t know if you‘ve somehow managed to evolve beyond the simple human need for sleep, but until the rest of us reach your glorified state of enlightenment, we still do. If you want to keep the last remaining shred of respect I have for you and your project, I would remember that little tidbit. In fact, it would be in your best interests to hang up right now and forget you ever knew my number, I --”

“Dax! Calm down, bro! You don’t need to get so uptight. Especially about the project. It’s done. Completely and totally finished. I mean, I've run all the tests, it all checks out, it's perfect! I mean--God, D--this is big.” Eddie’s voice sounded rushed and a little bit fevered. He was obviously worked up about it, thought Dax. Or it could have been the fact that he was still awake at God-knows-how-early in the morning.

“Wonderful. That's just great. Glad you couldn't wait one night to share that fascinating bit of news. But to tell the truth, I don’t care if you've painted an exact replica of the Last Supper; it is the middle of the night and I am going to bed.” With that, Dax slammed down the phone and turned back down the hall. He felt a little bit guilty. After all, Eddie had left him alone for two months. Still, there were limits. Whatever Eddie had finished could wait.


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Dax faces a decision. What does he do? He could call Eddie back in the morning and apologize, forget the whole thing ever happened and get on with his life, or even call Eddie and demand that since it was mostly his money which went into whatever it is, he should have some rights to it. Or something completely different. You decide.

[The White Blacksmith]

Does he know where exactly Eddie's Big Secret is? If so, he should just go down there now - leave the rent and the unemployment behind so he can take part in whatever big thing this is.

Don't invest any money in it, of course, just try to ingratiate himself by turning up.

[Kang]

First off Jav Welcome!! Second you have a good story game here I'm impressed that you have jumped headfirst into our city and have given a solid storygame for us to read. As for your decision point(DP ) I think Dax should call Eddie back and find out what this big secret is. it has to be something very significant if it has been two years since dax had gotten any kind of phone call

[Crunchyfrog]

Ooooh. I'm dying to know what this big secret is. He's going to lay awake all night now, wondering. He'll be wrestling with himself not to go back to the phone and call Eddie back. Especially as it's his money that's gone into it.

I reckon he lies in bed tossing and turning for a few hours until he can't stand it any longer. Then he gets up (still in the middle of the night) and decides to go over to Eddie's house. :D

Welcome to IF Javert!

[Javert]

Thanks for the welcome and the great ideas. I can't believe everyone is willing to give Eddie such a reprieve after the way he treated Dax when they last parted ways. I guess that physics is more exciting to y'all than emotional drama and revenge! But really, some excellent paths have been proposed, and I look forward to working with them. Hopefully we'll have a couple strong factions emerge!

[Smee]

*Enter one more sucker dying to know what the secret is.* :P

But Dax is hurt - he is living in squalor, little food, no money - all because of Eddie. I think he is going to nurse this feeling of 'being hard done by' until the morning when self pity will start to give way to anger.

Anger needs something to feed on though, and this will drive him to something more proactive : "It was my money that funded this damn project, so I'm damn well going to see what it is all about".

~

Welcome to the city, Javy. Great to see you jump in and get involved.

Happy Writing :)

[Traveller]

Great start Javert!! You got me hooked...I wanna...no, gotta know what Eddie is up to...I got no crits for you at this time.

I think Dax will wake up the next morning doing everything in his meager power to pretend he never heard from Eddie only to have Fate keep poking him in the nose until he just has to see what Eddie is up to.

Looking forward to being let in on this secret (Don't let us know too soon though)

Welcome...oh...and one more thing...

"And so Javert, you see its true...this man bears no more guilt than you...Who am I?...24601!!!

[Javert]

Ah, Valjean, your alibi suits you. *Chuckles maliciously*

We've got a decision forming here. I really like Smee's idea, it really gives Dax a layer of reality (I know, I know, in case you haven't realized, drama über alles). I think we can give it a day or two more before putting up the poll.

[Zeke]

What has Eddie built? I'm excited to find out. Is Eddie a Zefram Cochrane or a Dr. Emmet Brown? What have you imagined for us?

But what can Dax be thinking? How could he keep giving money to Eddie, enough even to make him destitute? Either Dax is completely spineless or he expected some kind of return on his money--at least before the final blowout. Let's be positive and say that he still expects a return on his investment.

Time to break out the thumbscrews. What did you do with my money, Eddie?!

Dax needs to hunt Eddie down and strangle the truth out of him (err, figuratively speaking.)

[Kang]

hmm a little Star trek meets back to the future this ought to be interesting

[Mirel]

Interesting. *pops some popcorn and breaks out some hot chocolate* I'm not sure what to think about this story. All I have to say is this:

You have my attention.

Now what are you going to do with it?!?

[Javert]

All I have to say is this: If you know where this story's going, please let me know. I'm as curious as the rest of you. This could end up going in so many different directions that it's scary just to think about. It could just as easily wind up at the Twin Pines Mall as Planet X, but I wouldn't bet on either. Just like the rest of you, I'm in it for the ride.

[Traveller]

My bet is we're going to the Twin Pine Mall ON Planet X...Very tricky Javert but you can't fool this Traveller

[Javert]

There are some great things here. I am now almost able to distill all of these great suggestions into a few succinct choices. I do have to apologize for the quality of my D.P, the text was less plot-centered and more an introduction to an idea. The decision resultant of the choices to come will hopefully be better. Hopefully.

So. Before I put up the poll, are there any last suggestions?

[Novelest_Ninjagirl]

Noni here:
Crit/compliment-wise, there ain't nothing I could say that hasn't been said. I'll settle for this: It grabbed me, wrapped me up, and refused to let go.
I think I particularly liked how, in the story, you went back and corrected a statement to add description.

Hmm. Suggestion-wise, I think he'd probably lay in bed, and thoughts would go through his head: pretty much most of the thoughts that have been commented on before. It was my money, I should see it. and the such. Then, in the morning, he should get all ready to just go to Eddies- and not know for sure where he's living, so he calls Eddie.

hope that helps.

[Javert]

The poll is up! Choose wisely. Or, if you really want to, go ahead and do eenie meenie miney moe. It's not my vote.

[Javert]

It looks like the surprise tactic is the most popular for now; hopefully a few more people will chip in during the next couple of days (this means YOU).

[Crunchyfrog]

It wasn't me that tied it. Honest! :-o :D

[Zeke]

I had voted to call Eddie back and make his demands.

But on second thought, surprising him sounds like a better idea. Eddie sounds a little slippery to me.

Can a person change their vote?

[Crunchyfrog]

Unfortunately no - once its cast its cast - if its any consolation, I was going to vote for surprising him, and then went for making demands. :lol:

[Javert]

We still have a tie! Somebody needs to break it. I'll leave it up for another day or two. By then, there WILL be no tie, am I right?

[Javert]

You have until the end of the day to vote. Then it will be taken down and I'll be forced to do something I don't want to do. Runoff! I'll be waiting.

[Crunchyfrog]

If you're still faced with a tie, Here are a few tips and ideas on what to do about it. :)

[Javert]

Time is UP. And it seems we still have a tie ... So, instead of waiting for a runoff, I will take one of cf's suggestions and have Dax decide! Cross your fingers people.

[Smee]

*pokes* :poke:

[Crunchyfrog]

:poke:

And another poke!