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Heavy Metal - Chapter 12: To the Moon
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Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 3:13 pm    Post subject: Heavy Metal - Chapter 12: To the Moon  

Heavy Metal
Chapter 12
To the Moon


Walt remembered the day they told him he would never fly to the moon. From the beginning of his training he’d known it would be unlikely, having been placed on the back burner, a replacement astronaut in case anyone required a fill in before launch.

Ironically, his time might have come if not for Apollo 13 throwing off the sequences; some of the astronauts involved had been given the opportunity to try again later, taking a priority over Walt.

But he’d waited and hoped and prayed to God to get onboard one of the Apollo flights until finally, no more would be sent.

In the years after the completion of the program, Walt left the agency to fly commercial airlines, despondent and depressed. He couldn’t remember when, exactly, but there eventually came a time, just before his retirement, where he discovered a newfound hope and drive to return to space.

He could never remember why he had this change of heart. Something about a lightning storm he’d flown through… it was a hazy memory. Perhaps the storm had jolted his brain, he’d always figured.

Nevertheless, here he was, finally in space. His crazy change of heart that had cost him so much along the way had finally paid off!

And though he might be a bit lower on fuel than he’d hoped, the Moon, appearing over the horizon of the orbited Earth below, beckoned. His heart pounded as he saw her, the giant rock nearly shouting out to him, “So what if you might not have enough power to return safely! This is it buddy! Your chance to visit me has come!”

Solemnly, Walt smiled back into the camera on his control panel. “Well, this is it fellas. I didn’t come up here just to show I could. Naw… this is about a dream… a dream unfulfilled. It’s time to take this up a notch, or three. I’m headin’ for the moon.”

As Walt began flipping dials, engaging mathematical schemata on readouts and running orbital calculations, all four witnesses far below in his barn command center stared at each other in shock. “You mean to tell me that you think this thing’s capable of deep space flight that far?” mouthed Agent Johnson, his dark face agape.

“Yep,” Walt stated matter-of-factly.

“But you’ll never make it back on the amount of fuel you’ve got,” Dave insisted, taking center seat at the command terminal. “Don’t you remember what happened with that fourth fuel tank?”

“Yeah… I remember… and maybe that’s all the more reason y’know?” Walt replied, hoping Dave might get the insinuation that trading the consequences of their theft earlier that day for a glorious death in space might be entirely worth it.

Thrusting herself into the camera’s view, his aged wife glowered at him, “This wasn’t part of the deal Walt! You never said anything about going to the moon! You’re not planning on walking on the surface of the thing in that old suit are you? You’ll be killed for sure and I insist on you coming home safely y’old badger!” A tear was welling up in her eye.

“Look, Betty, I’m not just a retired astronaut here,” Walt insisted, “I’m a retired Apollo astronaut, an’ that’s a huge difference. I didn’t get out here just to feel all weightless and funny and see some great starscapes! I do this and I’ll be writing a page in the history of mankind! Not only would this be the first private spaceflight, but the first private spaceflight to the moon! THINK about it!

No other man in all history will hold such a lofty place in the human saga as ol’ Armstrong! To be the first man EVER to have stepped foot on a world other than our own? No other human achievement could match that, period.

Now I have the rare chance to leave a legacy that almost approaches that unsurpassable glory, to be the first PRIVATE citizen to do the same. The only thing that undermines the achievement Armstrong had there was that he was representing a governmental effort. In a sense, it was the collective effort of man that put his foot there, not so much his own achievement. Now, I can be the first to have achieved it on a personal level.

Betty, I love you… but I would die for this.”

Gripping her eyes, Betty turned, nodding somberly, showing him she understood no matter how much she couldn’t stand it. She walked to the rear of the group, muttering something about how she never should have let ‘that ego-driven, immature boy scout’ out of her sight.

“Sounds to me like the only distinction you might really be making here is to become the first man to leave his corpse on the surface of the moon,” Johnson smiled, “But I must admit, I’m impressed. Let’s see what you can do then.”

Before he’d finished his comment, the blond Agent Danforth was leaning over and whispering something into the black man’s ear, to which Johnson replied in hushed tones, “We’ll deal with that when the time comes. You may wish to..." The rest of his reply was too muffled to discern.

Danforth walked to the back of the barn, his finger on his ear, whispering something into his wrist.

“Hmph,” Walt grunted, taking note of their exchange. Already, his ship was slipping away from the Earth, the blue orb shrinking ever so gradually as the tiny rockets overhead aided in guiding the craft, the heat in the upper capsule blazing the gold within to force the craft to ‘fall’ away from the gravity of the planet. “Might as well take yerselves a lunch break,” Walt said, “This trip will take a while from here.”

~

Along the journey, Walt finally took a nap. After he got over the idea that deep space and its promise of an icy death lie just beyond the thin lead walls of his craft, and the feeling of isolation began to set in as the passage through the Van Allen belts forced the temporary power down of his transmission equipment, he began to realize just how exhausting his last day on Earth had been.

Hours lay before him on his journey still, and since his view to the outside had been shut off as well, there could be no harm in catching a few z’s he figured.

Perhaps it was just the effects of passing through the intense radiation fields, but his dreams were intensely disturbed, filled with darkness and flashing red eyes watching him from the shadows, his body set adrift in the void, space tearing his flesh from his bones, tearing his bones from his frame, leaving him with nothing but a mind in free float through the galaxy.

He jolted awake as his screen flared to life with a static crackle, automatically programmed to power back on after the journey through the radiation fields. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as he became immediately overwhelmed by the sensation of being observed.

Panning the camera around from the stars that filled the screen, the Earth behind him appeared more like a large bowling ball, the whole aqueous sphere completely visible from this vantage point. Its beauty caused his eyes to well.

But as he scanned around, no other objects were visible aside from the approaching silver sphere ahead. Appearing roughly equal in size to the Earth behind him, the Moon was orbiting to greet him soon.

What will I find when I get there, I wonder. Some of the reports from the other astronauts were quite compelling. And after that hushed comment between those agents, I’m sure I’m in for something here… unless they just hide themselves away from me.

As the Independent hurdled through space towards our only natural satellite, Walt simply could not shake the feeling of being watched.

~

“I’ve reached orbit with the Moon,” Walt announced to those back on Earth. The transmissions were streaming poorly now and visible contact had been shut off as it had become futile to maintain against frozen screens that were fixed in place for minutes at a time.

Even the radio transmissions were greatly delayed. A couple minutes later, Walt heard, “That’s great Walt! You’ve got your own cameras running I take it? You seeing anything up there?”

“Yeah, the cameras are rolling on digital record here. And so far, all’s I’m seein’ is a big cratered surface. It’s beautiful though, a lot more colorful than you might imagine! Not so overwhelmingly gray as it appears from the earth, though its silver color certainly dominates the place. I’m gonna do an orbit or two and look for a suitable place to set ‘er down… among other things,” Walt returned.

The hair on the back of his neck was standing tighter on end than ever as he was sure he was being watched. Nevertheless, as he panned the camera around nothing appeared… wait… what was that?!

Before ‘mission control’ could get a message back, Walt was already sending another transmission, “Holy God, will you look at that! There appears to be… a… a mine… or a quarry… right there on the surface!”

Zooming in, Walt took a good look at where rock appeared to have been removed in clearly geometric patterns dug into the face of the moon. The pit appeared to have been excavated one rectangular slab at a time. Around the pit, a few of the large slabs remained, slabs of a size and shape that brought Stonehenge to mind. At the base of the ‘quarry’ pit shined a brilliant metallic glimmer, dimmed only by some piles of dust in places.

“What the Hell?” Walt mouthed breathlessly into the receiver. “Folks I think we can be pretty damned certain something… or someone, has been here before, and with a bit more industry than we’ve ever brought to the place.”

“What?!? What do you see Walt?” Dave’s return message finally arrived from Earth.

“Hmph,” Walt exclaimed as he cocked his head in frustration at the radio. “Look, fellas, I know there’s a lot of delay in our transmissions and the dark side is approaching which is gonna cut off all communication till I get around to the other side. Suffice it to say, when I come back around I’m pretty sure I know where I’m gonna set down. I’ve GOT to get a closer look at that quarry! By the time you’re able to respond to this I’ll be outside transmission range so hang on to yer hats for a bit.”

Just before the sun vanished behind the horizon of the moon, a radio transmission reached Walt, “Keep in mind… this is all classified information Wa…” then buzzed out as the Independent slipped into the shadow of the Moon.

~

The sensation of being on the dark side of the moon was far more severing than Walt had expected, truly isolating indeed. He could literally feel a distinct disconnection from the Earth in such a powerful way that could hardly be explained to one who had never felt the sensation, except to say that it was similar to what he imagined death would feel like, the substance of the void swallowing him completely.

Switching on the exterior halogen lamps, Walt dimly illuminated the surface below. The deeply cratered landscape looked like a hellish twisted version of the front side of the satellite that we’re all so familiar with. This was Mordor, without the fire and brimstone. This was the graveyard of meteors and unfortunate comets. And each had left its scar buried deep.

From this vantage point it was clear to Walt that the Moon had long served the Earth as a warrior’s shield, defending it from attack after attack for the billions of years it had remained here.

And here, the sensation of being watched intensified exponentially. Walt began to sweat within the suit, despite the drastic reduction in temperature in this eternal shadow. The burners above flared to life to keep the mono-atomic gold within at a stabilized temperature. Already he was beginning to drift down towards the surface from the cooling.

His eyes followed the passing craters like a man watches a train wreck, mesmerized by their horrific beauty.

The suddenly, a light appeared from the center of a particularly large crater, dazzling Walt momentarily as it forced his heart to leap into his throat!

What in the blazes?! His ship had passed the crater so quickly he hardly got a clear look at the beam, but certainly it had been real and not some lunar hallucination, hadn’t it? Panning the camera back towards the crater he’d witnessed the light shine from, he could see nothing. It was a fairly large crater though… somewhat unusual in its geometric perfection, like a perfect circular depression affixed into the backside of the moon.

It was then, as he really studied the crater behind him, that he realized his orbit had stopped and his craft’s momentum had ceased altogether.

The Independent was suddenly motionless on the dark side of the Moon!

What the HELL is going on here? Walt screamed in his mind as he looked at various readings, all confirming a complete loss of orbital velocity. The momentum should be a natural process of the orbit so why had it suddenly come to a full stop? He hoped he wouldn’t have to fire up the rockets to get him ‘unstuck’ here given that he hardly had fuel to return. If he did, surely he could never land the ship on the Moon and expect to make it back.

And to make matters worse, he was here without any radio contact with Earth at all. For a moment, the thought flashed through Walt’s mind that he could die here. What if he fired up the rockets and still couldn’t move? And what in God’s name could possibly be holding his ship stationary like this?

Walt began to panic as he flipped through various readout screens, scanned around with the camera in a desperate bid to see what could be causing this. As his panic began to reach a simmering point, and a bead of sweat formed on his forehead, a buzzing sound began to gradually form from what sounded like a point inside his skull.

As the hum grew in volume, Walt finally took note of the strange phenomenon and stopped everything, freezing in place to try to hear and identify this buzz. At first he worried it was a problem with the craft. Perhaps there was some sort of technical difficulty that could not be explained since they were using such hardly understood technology. But the sound wasn’t coming from the ship. It was growing from within Walt’s head! Of this he could be sure.

Walt might have expected the noise to cause him a headache considering its pitch was both low and high in quality, normally a sound that might make his temples wince. But, to his surprise, as the noise grew, it seemed to radiate harmonically with his body, massaging his cells individually, removing any sense of fear or concern save for the thought that persistently nagged at him that this must be some sort of trick to take him off guard. His muscles relaxed and his breathing eased. His sight became crisp and clear.

Once he had come to a sense of calm and peace, the humming suddenly stopped, replaced by what sounded like the distant twinkling of wind chimes in a vast cave, forcing him to remain alert to the noises being generated inside his skull. Still no motion from the cameras outside however.

Then, as he began to wonder what all this odd phenomena must be coming from, a voice suddenly blazed through his mind! The voice carried both an intensely feminine and masculine quality at once, clearly spoken as though by a master linguist, carrying the hint of an electrical buzz at the edges of the sound.

It said, “Greetings Walter Steele. We’ve been expecting you. You’re entire life has been devoted to finding us and now… you have.”

The voice let this comment sink in to Walt’s soul. Is this some sort of trick? he demanded in his thoughts, figuring they would be as easily heard as the voice was to him from within his mind.

“This is no more a trick than life itself is, Walter. But before we really get into much more discussion you should understand a few things,” the voice asserted in his thoughts.

“Yeah, what’s that?” Walt said, growing uncomfortable with non-verbal expression.

“To begin, you have violated more than one sacred law in your efforts to arrive here. There will be consequences and a penance to be made for these broaches of Divine will.”

“What ‘laws’?” Walt asked defensively.

“In time, you will grow to understand this,” the voice answered cryptically. “The most immediately concerning law that has been broken is that you have taken this journey at all. We are resolved to maintain the… quarantine. And we shall continue to be resolved to maintain it at any cost.”

“Quarantine?!?” Walt sputtered, offended. “I knew there was more to what’s happening on Earth than we’re being told! Do our leaders know about this quarantine? And what makes us so… so ‘diseased’ that we must be confined to the planet?”

“It is not a disease, but an undeveloped ‘state of mind’. Your perspective has not yet developed such that you, as a people, may safely be made aware of what more exists in the universe outside your planet.”

“SAFELY?” Walt roared. “Safe to who? You? Or US?”

“Both,” the voice answered simply.

A moment of silence passed as Walt considered the ramifications of what had just been expressed, no doubt with the being he was in communication with hearing his every thought. “So what now?” Walt finally asked. “What will you do with me now that I’ve ‘escaped quarantine’?”

“The Lord is merciful,” the voice affirmed, “and thus has authorized us to give you a choice.”

“A choice?” Walt pressed for more details.

“Yes. You may either stay to meet with us physically, or we shall void your memories of this and return you to your planet.” Before Walt could even begin to consider his options, his onboard cameras suddenly swiveled as if under a mind of their own, honing in on a point in space just to the side of the ship.

There, a huge wedge shaped object materialized into view, dark and menacing and not entirely unlike the size and shape of a stealth bomber, though thicker, more like a sleek flying pyramid. Its hull was completely black and only illuminated faintly by his halogens. And it was right next to his ship!

Completing the thought, the voice added, “Or, you may choose to resist, in which case, you will be destroyed.” It stated this so matter-of-factly that it caused Walt’s heart to skip a beat.

If I go with them, I may never return, Walt considered. But if I allow them to blank out my memories, I’ll never know the truth, never know I ever KNEW the truth! I can’t see any weapons on that ship but then again… there’s certainly none onboard the Independent. Could I outrun them? Hmm…

Alright, once again, I know… not leaving much of a choice here but your thoughts on the matter are appreciated ;)
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII



Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 4:08 am    Post subject: I Think......  

This sooo reminds me of one of my favorite childrens books series. Anyone remember "My Teacher is an Alien" ?But I like that. I kinda agreed witht he whole concept of 'We are not mentaly prepaired to go into space' Always made sense to me! Lovein' in Thunder-kun!

As for what to do....He's already stated that he'd die to just LAND on the moon. Haveing opportunity to actually MEET what he's been serching for his whole life, is tooooo good to resist! That's one suggestion.

I'm also completely offended. Not by you, but that any other race in the universe thinks they have the right to tell me what we, as humans, can and can't do! It's just not right! So, while I agree he should go with them, I think he should do whatever he can to screw up their ship while he's on it.

It's the principal of the thing, right?
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Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:46 am    Post subject:  

Quote: I'm also completely offended. Not by you, but that any other race in the universe thinks they have the right to tell me what we, as humans, can and can't do!
And THERE'S the problem with the human perspective, no? lol! I know what you mean... You'll really enjoy the depth of just how far what THEY feel they have the right to say what we, as humans, can and can't do... stay tuned!

Thanks for reading Pope! Glad you're enjoying it!
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Tikanni Corazon



Joined: 25 Oct 2009
Posts: 1286
Location: Running through the plains of my mind, my wolf spirit at my side (but doing so in the UK!).

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:44 am    Post subject:  

Great chapter, TB! I really enjoyed it, one of my favourites so far actually. :)

I of the same way of thinking as Pope, this is too good an opportunity to miss. He should agreed to go and meet them in the flesh (if they have any that is ;)), though maybe he should ask first if he will be able to change his mind once he does. Ask them if he decides he wishes to return home, can he then have his memory erased and be sent on his way. Or would he have to remain with them indefinitely.

Loving this more and more, as it get further into the story, and I'm ooking forward to the next chapter!
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Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:03 pm    Post subject:  

Thanks for reading Tika! I am enjoying writing this more and more as the plot develops as well. Been looking forward to much of this since the day I set pen to... well... finger to keyboard. Just took a little building up to was all.

On Tome, a comment caused a recent development to take place regarding the DP. Perhaps, instead of wondering how we should address the alien ship's presence and their 'choice', we should go ahead and assume we'll meet with them and instead run the poll on the question: How do we strategize to retain some sort of proof of this encounter and the information we obtain here?

Now that's a challenging DP!
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Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 8:19 am    Post subject:  

Another excellent chapter. Although I could totally see what was coming (more on that in a minute) it was twisted in an unexpected way. the voice saying that hte Lord is merciful added a little more meaning to the roles of Thomas and the Bouncer, although how or even if they are linked to the religious side of things is yet to be revealed.

One niggle I had, was this...

Quote: Before he’d finished his comment, the blond Agent Danforth was leaning over and whispering something into the black man’s ear, to which Johnson replied in hushed tones, “We’ll deal with that when the time comes. You may wish to warn them he’s coming though… After all the speculation and references to conspiracy theories, this pretty much blew it for me - I knew then that Walt was likely to be met by a welcoming party - human or alien - and that Johnson and Danforth were in communication with them.

For the DP, well... I can't think that he'll be able to outrun them. And if he returns with his memory wiped - well, just by his own nature, he's only going to try again, believing that he's yet to get into space under his own steam. Of course, his wife Betty and his friend Dave won't have their memories wiped, so - provided that he doesn't get himself arrested, they might even be able to get his memory back.

And... at the end of Chapter 8 or 9 - where we had to decide whether to just blast off or not, didn't the two agents plead with him that they had something to talk to him about? Maybe this was it... Maybe they'll have a motive for retrieving his memory if he gets back in one piece, too. But of course that depends on whether they're on Thomas's side or Bouncer's (and therefore the military's) side...

The other thing of course, is that he would win the X prize if he got back in one piece, and that could cause all sorts of interesting things to happen...

Just because it's the more difficult and risky one, I'd say return, and hope that he'll retrieve his memory somehow.
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Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 12:31 pm    Post subject:  

I struggled with that bit... not sure if I could expect the reader to already figure that he'd be making contact anyhow and taking a moment to add some layer of mystery... (WHO are the agents that they have contact already? Representatives of a government that's already interacting with THEM or are they... something else?) And allowing the ramifications of that to sink in, OR should I build on the suspense of possibly making contact? I opted for the first, but it didn't feel completely right... probably just poorly timed and I do appreciate you expressing that as it adds some evidence to an answer in this inner debate.

Thanks for reading and adding some critique CF!
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Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:03 pm    Post subject:  

It is difficult to know where to draw the line, I agree. I think in this instance, the dialogue would be unnecessary. The body language you have between the two agents is enough - Danforth whispering in Johnson's ear, some hushed conversation but without any words heard, and then Danforth going off to the back of the barn, finger in his ear, whispering into a device on his wrist.

Now this might be dismissed as normal 'agent' behaviour, but because of the timing, it could just be enough to build the suspension without allowing us to put our finger on why. The body language is enough to give us a feeling something is afoot out there that the agents know about, and are evidently uncomfortable about, but stands shy of letting us know why, (retaining the mystery around the agents) and certainly doesn't give us any information that would make us expect a welcoming committee on the far side of the moon.


I think that the mystery you have built up around the agents is already strong. They're doing enough out of character stuff as it is... they haven't shut down Dave's ground control, they've not arrested and taken away Betty and Dave. They even turned up at Walt's house before word could get out that he and Dave had stolen the fuel... We're still guessing about what they might know, or what their motives or orders are.

I remember making a DP suggestion a couple of chapters back to hear what they wanted to say to Walt (didn't win the vote!) Their plea to talk to Walt just as he's about to hop into the spacecraft was enough to make me wonder whether these are good guys or bad guys, at least from Walt's perspective.

When shown similar issues with foreshadowing in my writing I was pointed to this link recently by a helpful critiquer, which makes for an interesting read.

Comments and links aside though, I think in Storygaming, where there is often a long time-break between chapters, we need to be slightly less subtle with the foreshadowing at times - like flavouring soup, it's just trial and error as to how much of it you use.

Anyway, hope these additional thoughts help. :)
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Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 5:20 pm    Post subject:  

That was a great reply CF. Very intriguing in its depth. I'll consider that a bit more with this part of the tale.

Just made the slightest of edits... how does that look?
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Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:31 pm    Post subject:  

Better! :D
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:26 pm    Post subject:  

Very nice chapter, I like the extra details about space travel such as the Van Allen belt. It feels a little more epic that these things are real, the concept of going to the moon and the reality of just how dangerous and complex it is.

Personally, I think we're totally at the mercy of these strange beings. They're probably able to read our thoughts, so anything we try to plan will be read by them. I suppose they're benevolent, so even if they do erase our memory, it's in our best interest. I would put a straightforward recommendation that we meet with the beings.
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Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:19 am    Post subject:  

Thanks for reading Lebby! Comments are much appreciated. I'm not done here... just been on stasis for a tiny little while. I'll be back with a new chappy very soon. I've formulated the thing in my head and look forward to writing it... just gotta tackle some RL issues first.
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Lebrenth



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah

Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:26 am    Post subject:  

Yeah, I hear you TB. Matter of fact, those sound like my lines!
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Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:30 pm    Post subject:  

Ok, I should've done this much earlier but...

NOW POLLING!
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Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 1:24 am    Post subject:  

Wow, how many shades of grey! Difficult, difficult - so much is reliant on what we don't know - what their reaction might be.

I'm going for the option which I think will provoke the most exciting reaction... fleeing to Earth, like trying to have his cake and eat it.

:)
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Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 8:22 am    Post subject:  

When I put all the suggestions together I was very surprised by how many options there actually were here... and I figured we'd have nearly a complete consensus but here I have a three way tie (considering the vote on tome tallied with this one so far) so where I really thought I had a lackluster poll, I'm finding out its more interesting than I thought!

Edit: not tied currently, but I imagine it will be soon ;)
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