City of IF

Muaddib · Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765

Thanks! I'm not going to start another SG right now. But I have another project in mind, which I hope a lot of people can participate in.

Thunderbird · Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 12:15 pm Post subject:

I'm REALLY looking forward to whatever program you may be coming up with Muad! (and hoping you'll join a guild or two along the way too ;) )

But look, about THIS tale. I am REALLY sorry I couldn't keep up with the pace of it... I've been struggling to do that with everyone's works so don't feel singled out please. If I was going to single one or two out for keeping up religiously, this woulda been one of 'em.

The flavor of this tale was fascinatingly different from the usual fare on the site and I loved that aspect of it. Your writing is pretty much flawless imo and needs very little, if any, 'constructive criticism'. I liked that the main character showed human flaws.

But more than anything, the subtle history knowledge test woven into the fabric of the tale was the most fascinating element in it period. That you have ended up re-writing history with your story is perhaps the most intriguing part about it, lending the possibility that you may be setting us up for a number of alternative history plots that stem from this one. The end was, albeit perhaps early imo, poignant and meaningful nevertheless. I just wonder, isn't the name, Chinggiz, generally spelled without two 'g's? Of course, I realize Temujin himself wouldn't have been able to express his own name in English at all being as the language would've been all but unknown to the great Genghis Khan.

Anyhow... thank you for your efforts here, Muad. Even if you felt it may have been underappreciated, understand that you have at least one reader who agrees with that assertion.

Muaddib · Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765

Thanks Tbird!

Since you mentioned the history lesson :) , I'll give you a list of the references from history whose names I altered a little bit.

Abasidi = Abassid Caliphate

Farsi Sea = Persian Gulf

Bagdad = Baghdad

Bilisi = Tbilsi

Mughal = What they call Mongols in the subcontinent.

Thunderbird · Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:19 pm Post subject:

Some of those I hadn't even realized you'd spelled a little off... lol!

So, tell me a bit more about the WHY or the thinking behind the curtain then? What were you hoping to convey with the slightly skewed paralel earth? Are you setting the stage for more to come?

Muaddib · Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765

The names themselves were just changed to how I thought a Mongol in that time period might pronounce foreign names.

As to the thinking, it just started off as "it would be cool to have a Mongol hunt for a Merman." I didn't plot anything beyond that, I just let the DPs direct the plot. But to be honest I had planned to kill Jochi off from the beginning. :D I don't think that happens enough in SGs. It seems like in most SGs if the DP involves the hero facing an impossible situation then he/she invariably wins out and becomes stronger from the experience. No. If you're facing a hundred strong army single handedly then you will die.

Thunderbird · Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:54 pm Post subject:

Ok, fair enough... its too bad you didn't gimme enough time to get a suggestion in on that last chapter though...

Lebrenth · Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Posts: 1490 Location: Utah

Muaddib wrote: I don't think that happens enough in SGs. It seems like in most SGs if the DP involves the hero facing an impossible situation then he/she invariably wins out and becomes stronger from the experience.
Not in my storygames. I've killed a lot of main characters. I don't know of any authors on IF who have killed as many as I have, now that I think of it. There is certainly a prevailing belief on IF that the main characters will always make it through somehow, which is something I'm constantly dealing with because no one thinks I'll actually finish off a good character. I would rather play a SG that had risks, so I'm excited that you're willing to kill off your characters when it seems appropriate.

Chinaren · Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:14 am Post subject:

Quote: I don't think that happens enough in SGs. It seems like in most SGs if the DP involves the hero facing an impossible situation then he/she invariably wins out and becomes stronger from the experience

I've had a 'bad ending' in one of mine I can think of, but then it was a 'horror' story, so that really conformed to the norm in that genre I guess.

Tales where main characters are killed off aren't really the norm because it's not convention. People like a satisfying ending, and killing off the hero generally means it isn't.

Still, good work Muddy! I'll move this one as requested.

Thank you for playing a speedy.