City of IF

Vikas Muralidharan · Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600

(Haha... my attempt at a good ol' fashioned mystery tale.... Really... Old Fashioned)

Luke strolled down the hallway, tensed.

"Lucy!" he yelled out. No signs of her anywhere. His steps quickened has he took a left in the massive mansion that he and Lucy had been staying in for the past week as contestants on the reality show "Couple's Retreat"

Hosted by grade-A actor Maria Thomson, the show was about couples who had to perform different tasks and challenges every week in order to win the mega prize of fifty million dollars at the end. Like most reality shows, this one too, was scripted.

Luke, the filmstar and Lucy, the pop music sensation considered a teen idol were scheduled to be eliminated in the 3rd week.

Live in Five Luke thought to himself. A mini search party including other contestants had been searching for the past couple of hours.

"There was no way she could have got out of this building" Luke muttered to himself. The security was tight and not one of the 7 participating couples was allowed to leave the mansion at any point of time. Everything including medical treatment was to be done within the building until elimination or victory.

Luke, desperately walked into the common area of the mansion again. All the couples and the host were sitting there, with grim faces. "No sign of her" Luke announced.

"Well, we'll make up a story then" Maria said. "Can't afford to be embarassed live".

Tense minutes passed and the show began.

"Welcome to 'Couple's Retreat!'" Maria announced joyfully, looking at the camera.
"This week, you will join us as each couple performs their own unique task for the week in order to stay in the competition and move closer to winning 50 million dollars!"

"Unfortunately, Luke and Lucy seem to have some problems. Lucy has refused to come down with Luke to collect their task" Maria said. "Now what's the problem, Luke?" she asks turning over to Luke.

Luke sighed. "Well, She's been--"

Luke was interrupted by an unexpected sight. The frail body of Lucy fell on the floor, from above them. Everyone stood up, stunned. There were screams all around.

Lucy's body was covered in cuts and bruises. A bullet hole was clearly visible on her left thigh and she was losing blood rapidly. Still alive, Lucy looked up to meet Luke's gaze.

"Lucy" he whispered, turning white. He bent forward trying to comfort her and check her wounds.

"Monsters" Lucy whispered. She was in too much pain to even attempt moving. "Up. In our room"

"WHAT?" Luke asked forcefully, but he would never get a response, as a loud gunshot echoed through the halls and Luke's lifeless body crumpled to the floor.

Tikanni Corazon · Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:45 am Post subject:

Wow Vikas! Quite the start to the tale. Straight into the action, but intriguing at the same time. An excellent subject for a Speedgame, but at the same time,I can also see it being brilliant for a normally paced SG too. It would give the opportunity for more depth and detail to be given, that's not really doable with a speedgame. Very well done! :)

I am wondering, are they still going to be locked inside the mansion, now that this has happened? From what was written, I'm thinking that all persons involved are on site, and I'm curious as to whether it will remain the same, and that all the others are now trapped inside the mansion with two dead bodies and a killer, who's identity is unknown, on the loose. The idea reminds me a little of the movie Clue. Looking forward to reading more of this tale to find out. ;)

I'm not sure what the dp is, or if there even is one at this point. Is it to decide how the other contestants/the host react to what's just happened? If this is the case, I'll get back to you with an option. But for now, very good, and can't wait for more!

Keep up the good work! :)

Vikas Muralidharan · Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600

Thanks for the read and comment Tika! :D And nope, this is just a prologue... No DP as of yet. The first chapter will sorta give you guys a description of the characters and the mansion and we'll have a DP there. :)

Tikanni Corazon wrote: The idea reminds me a little of the movie Clue. Looking forward to reading more of this tale to find out. ;)

Never heard of it. Was that movie popular? Don't think it reached India anyways.

Tikanni Corazon · Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:22 am Post subject:

Quote: Never heard of it. Was that movie popular? Don't think it reached India anyways.

I have no idea how popular it was at the time. It's an 80s movie, so I was only young, if alive at all. And, considering I'm getting on for being a decade older than you, you certainly wouldn't have been. ;) It's a comedy-whodunit based loosely around the game of the same name. Pretty good, imo, but then, I'm a fan of the era. Though I'm not really expecting the comedy element (though I may be wrong), there is a slight similarity between the two ideas.

Looking forward to chapter 1! (just to stay on topic) :)

Vikas Muralidharan · Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600

Just looked it up.... Who would have known there was a movie based on Cluedo? Vish and I used to play it all the time... lol. I think I still have that box somewhere...

Waiting for readers (to stay on topic :P )

kc9cra · Joined: 27 Aug 2011 Posts: 44 Location: evansville, Indiana

I like the intro. I'll be following.

Vishal Muralidharan · Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF!

Great intro, bro! I didn't see that coming ;)

Well, Is Lucy dead too, or is she still barely alive?! Certainly hope so. It would so much easier to get the killer then. I think the biggest problem is that all this went live on a television show hosted by a grade-A actress. Mob-attack?! :P

Midnight · Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 5:31 am Post subject:

Wow V, very nice start indeed.

I had thought that Lucy was the one going to be dead, but BAM killed Luke instead. hahaha

But yes, I agree with Vishal. This was all on live television.

It would be interesting, however, if Maria tried to cover this up also. But then again how she manages that would be something else. HAHAH

Vikas Muralidharan · Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600

*bumps thread*

Heads up... 1st chapter will be up soon, so if you've read this before, it'll be a good time to refresh your memory and if you havent, you can start now ;)

Tikanni Corazon · Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 11:17 am Post subject:

Done the re-read, and still planning to follow. ;)