City of IF

[Lilith]

Rating: PG13 - Don't say I didn't warn you.

Prologue

City of IF - 2015

A lone figure sprints away from the gateway that leads to what many call 'real life' and sees dry lightning crackling in the air just outside. The figure is obviously male and he’s panting, as the journey to free oneself from the terrors of real life is a hard struggle but doable if one makes the effort. He throws away the needle and syringe that had been a long-time friend to him and his Warcrack addiction, looking down at his nondescript grey clothing head to foot, including his baseball cap and his sneakers. Contemplatively, he runs his finger over the white patch of fabric sewn on the upper left of his chest that reads "John" in black lettering. Grey clouds roll through the skies just above the rusting gates with a sign that says 'City of IF' hanging crookedly over them as John approaches the gates apprehensively, eyeing them with something akin to fear before giving one of the gates a slight push with his left hand. The hinges on the gate give way with a low groan, almost as if the gate was tired and sighing in relief while it fell onto the cracked and pock-marked asphalt just beyond the threshold. He steps into the city with mounting unease and starts off down the sidewalk, having spotted a weather-worn sign dubbing it “Reality Road”. He sees the abandoned outskirts of the city become dotted with dilapidated dwellings that have fallen or are still falling apart due to weather-damage and OFian termites; as the density of the buildings grows, John’s eyes grow sad as they fall upon the bodies of the former IFian residents. Many bodies are skeletons by now, having been nameless waifs drifting along without a single post in the city. Some still have flesh on their partially decayed bodies but the sunken-in appearance of the skin tells John that they left the city for dead long ago.

He stops when “Reality Road” meets a junction in the center of the City and he walks past the final body on the stretch of road; this one was alive more recently than the rest, she hasn’t lost the fullness in her flesh just yet nor any of her long red hair like the majority of the other bodies on Reality Road, but her cream-colored skin is cold and her body rigid, so she is unmistakably dead, even if the deep slash across her front did not show her innards falling out. Blood pools from underneath her body as well where there are two gaping holes about the size of a man’s fist and not far away from her body lie a pair of green-blue gossamer fairy wings. From the blade gripped tightly in one of her hands that has her enemies’ blood staining the metal, it’s obvious she did not go down without a fight. A badge on the chest of her brown-and-green leather outfit proclaims her to be “Lilith - Guardian of Reality Road, General Fiction Mod”.

John turns his gaze back to the square of the City he has come across and looks at the other three street signs, seeing that the white building with the phrasing ‘City Council Chambers’ has completely caved in on itself; only the sign embedded into the concrete in front of it still stands. After a few moments of indecision, John decides to follow the road sign that says “To the Manor Macabre”. It doesn’t take long before John regrets the decision to follow that particular street sign, for it dead ends at a grey mansion, which looks as if it might’ve been a grand, haunted place to live, until the giant sinkhole sucked most of it into the ground six feet past the foundation, making re-entry near impossible. A half-decayed man dressed in a fairly dapper suit-and-tie ensemble, hangs over the front gate, his skull half full of maggots making their home where his east hemisphere of brain had been before, and using his west hemisphere as their primary food source. His cane that bears an iron skull on the top has been driven through his mid-section and iron nails are through each of his palms while his feet are lain one across the other with a third nail pinning them to the wood of the gate. The badge on his chest reads, “Misterbiz - Lord of the Manor Macabre, Horror Mod”.

As John turns away from the disgusting sight of the Horror Mod’s brutal crucifixion, something darts across the landscape out of the corner of his eye. He whirls to see what it was but there’s nothing there that he can see. Dread ties a knot in his stomach as John quickly walks back to the City square, hurrying to choose another street sign and be on his way, in case whatever it was turns out to be hungry. He chooses the sign that says “To Fantasy Forest” and walks for about a quarter of a mile before he stops and looks around, confused. A tarnished silver gate opens into a landscape that probably was one day a lush, green thriving forest indeed, but now it is full of scorched earth and the trees that haven’t rotted into dust are scorched as well with no green life anywhere in them.

Despite his better judgment, John steps onto the blackened earth, watching a puff of ash rise up from under his sneakers and fall on them, coating the cloth with dust. There’s the faintest hint of a path that he chooses to follow into what would have been the deepest heart of the forest, but still not a single green leaf is seen, even when he reaches the largest tree that is in the shape of a large throne atop a raised dais. A dark-haired woman is on the throne, draped across its arms lengthwise and her lifeblood stains the wood in places it has touched. Multiple stab wounds lance her body through the silken blue dress she wears, but the gash that is across her neck, almost through to her spine is obviously the blow that ended her life. One of her arms dangle off the side of the throne, a diamond-encrusted scimitar clutched in the fingers with scorch marks all along its length. Her badge reads "Tikanni Corazon, Queen of Fantasy Forest".

Shaking his head in despair of finding any shelter here, John turns around and jogs back to the silver gates, ducking back into the center area of the City. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the square and walks purposely toward the last street sign, his heart heavy in the face of this desolation. The final street sign reads “To Skiffiville”. Again, there is a quarter mile stretch of road before John and then a set of gates, this time made of some metal alloy with fiber optics running through it and a thin wall of glass which has since been cracked and shattered in places big enough to allow him to step through.

This time, John is greeted by dead, broken computer screens of every type and size scattered all over the place and the ground is something that reminds him of an old-fashioned electronic board except instead of green it is gray in color and instead of capacitors and transistors, there are buildings. All of the buildings’ windows are dark of course and many are shattered or just plain missing. The path John follows through Skiffiville is made up of electronic ribbon but the circuits no longer pulse with activity as they once did. The ribbon leads him to a formerly shiny metal building, now a tarnished pewter-gray, and just outside of the automatic sliding door, which is crumpled in the center and partially ripped out of the tracks, is a vertical pod with a lengthwise window across the front. The window, however, has a red coating over it inside, and so thick that John could not see through it. He looked down at the bottom and spotted something red and slightly slushy dripping out of the bottom. Up at the top of the pod is a plaque that reads, “Sagittaeri, Master of Skiffiville, Sci-Fi/Experimental Mod” and beside the plaque is a temperature gauge that shows the temperature was turned to the coldest option long ago and apparently froze the inhabitant so his cells froze and exploded.

Slightly queasy now, John steps away from the pod and shimmies the crumpled door open wide enough to admit his average form into the building. About ten feet from the door he sees another pod, but horizontal this time and laying beside several others, just behind a sign that reads “The Resting Place for Former Mayors of the City of IF” in dim, unlit letters. Curious, John makes a move to see the plaque at the top of the nearest pod. When he looks at it directly, he notices the three spears punched down through the glass and obviously into the inhabitant, which is an ape’s skeleton, some deadened flesh and orange fur hanging off of the bones. The spears do not hide the plaque that reads, "Chinaren". He moves on to the next pod that has the temperature gaze set on the highest setting for heat and the smell of deep fried frog-legs emits from the corners of the door, along with a few trickles of blood as well, making it clear that with the splatters across the front glass, this occupant is dead too, with the name of "Crunchyfrog" engraved upon the plaque at the top of her pod.

Curiosity and tension have a hearty battle as John slips to yet another pod emblazoned with the name "Smee" and sees that a wizard has been pulled halfway through the glass and has his head twisted around so that his face is above his back, instead of his front. He gulps and steps toward the next pod and peers in through the frosted glass where a sizeable pile of ashes sit, frozen in a solid chunk of ice, the merest tracing of a bird’s head in the ash."Thunderbird" is the name of the dead phoenix in the last pod and John shakes his head before moving on to the next one The next pod’s window is clear and the plaque reads simply, “Vikas”. But inside, the body of this apparently former Mayor has been drawn in half length-wise, right down the middle and then drawn again width-wise on each of the first halves, a large puddle of blood coagulating beneath it.

Now John fears for his own life as he approaches the final pod in this row, glancing briefly at the many rows of pods leading back from this one towards the opposite wall of the walkway before this one. Then he takes a deep breath and looks around inside it. It’s empty however, and no name is engraved upon the plaque. The device is not turned on and as John starts to look past it to see if there’s another pod, he sees a bare foot sticking out from a red and white hem. Quickly, he walks around the other side of the pod and is rewarded with the view of an elf maiden with blonde hair, clad in a beautiful red and white silk gown, laying stomach-down on the floor. Her arms are clutching a thick stack of papers to her chest tightly and her blue eyes are white open in shock which makes John think that the multiple arrows sticking out of her back were shot from behind at her.

Slowly, John reaches down and tugs the papers from the elf maid’s grip and sits down on the cold floor to read the first page entitled: “OFian forces beat back! The City of IF celebrates!” It was a collection of newspaper clippings and some odd pieces of writing called ‘Storygames’. Engrossed in this new form of entertainment called ‘reading’ John doesn’t hear or see the OFian spambots sneaking up on him from every side and he only realizes that he’s being infected with their poison and is being turned into one, when the sharp metal stinger stabs him in the neck and the hovering craft flies in front of his face to puncture out his eyes so his body will be able to adjust to the serum now attacking his form and compressing it, turning him into an OFian-autospam-bot.

The papers fall from John’s hands as his will gives up to the inevitable and several other OFian bots pick up his quickly transforming form and march it out of Skiffiville and the City of IF, adding yet one more to their numbers.

***
So, yes, this is a new IF tale. And just above is just an intro. If you are interested in assisting in the creation of this story, please PM me. I am willing to work with most people who are serious about writing a section of the tale in their own words.

[Tikanni Corazon]

GAH!!! *checks my neck, just to be sure* Christ, Lil, there's no holding back here, is there? And it's totally AWESOME!!! (if a little disturbing *giggles*) ;)


There are a few descriptive phrases in this prologue that I just love. 'cracked and pock-marked asphalt', 'John steps onto the blackened earth, watching a puff of ash rise up from under his sneakers', and 'the smell of deep fried frog-legs emits from the corners of the door' to name but a few. You can almost imagine the scent of that last one in your nostrils!


*is already planning to take up the offer to poke my nose into the story's creation*


I honestly can't wait for the first chapter here! Keep up the good work! :)

[misterbiz]

I...LOVE...THIS!!! The varying deaths (particularly mine) were just brilliant. The gore and mayhem described was simply beautiful. This very bleak atmosphere has me totally enthralled and makes me quite curious as to what happened to the city and how it came to such an abysmal wasteland.

Also loving the mention of others without using exact names. Very clever on your part. I am quite excited as to what more happens within this tale.

[sagittaeri]

Darkest hour indeed! This is fascinating, and lil', you did an eerily great job in describing our demise! Bring forth chapter 1 soon! :D

[LordoftheNight]

I've a couple of suggestions to make. Instead of saying IE: Warcrack, it could be more fun to describe it as some sort of beast/wasting illness/uncontrollable addictive drug etc, something for people to be terrified of, rather than just a name.

I think also sticking to either having names for them or not for the slain IFians - half the fun could be trying to work out who you meant by each kill. You could do this for the Mayors too, only Vikas is named at the minute, and there could always be other unopened pods in there for the Mayors you didn't mention.

Clearly I'm not dead, so I assume I must be the one leading the OFian forces into IF. No other explanation really.

[Lilith]

Well I did incorporate the drug addiction idea into the beginning, Lordy, thanks for that, but unfortunately not all of the dead IFians I have described have an actual IF persona to go with it. So I just went ahead and attached the obvious name plaques to the descriptions without them and made clearer that the row of pods that John is looking at is not the only one.

[Sasuke]

Yay, something that isn't already in progress that I can feasibly keep up with. I like those sorts of stories for some unusual reason. In any case, good work, the atmosphere was one of the few examples of a post-apocalyptic world I found to have believably been through an apocalypse. Further kudos are in order for not just doing another barren desert, as well. However, on the subject of a believable apocalypse, where in the world are you going to get a protagonist who has a reason to care from? Seems a good deal of the residents are quite dead, and there are less-than-nice things about to deal with those who come from the outside. Just something I'm curious about; I'm sure you've got a plan.

[Andolyn]

EEK! *looks over shoulder to look for nasty arrowses*

i love this, though, Lil! a very creative way to get out some irritations. ;)

[Vikas Muralidharan]

:-o

That was brilliant, and a bit disturbing at the same time. Quite gory, but can't wait for what comes next

[kkdestiny]

Now i wish I had been a mod/mayoress of some sort- just for the chance to see my death XD

and biz, OF COURSE you love this >.<

I'm very interested in seeing where this goes :)

in fact...

>.>

<.<

*goes to do stuff*

[Vishal Muralidharan]

That was EPIC! xD

I loved ALL of the deaths, especially Vikas's (Yeah, I did :D) and how you managed to keep it all eerily sane at the same time. Fantastic stuff! Desperately waiting for chapter one! :)

[Lilith]

Chapter 1

City of IF, Autumn 2012



The autumn wind whipped sharply through the City of IF that October afternoon, rustling the red, orange and yellow leaves falling slowly from the trees of Fantasy Forest as many IFians returned to their homes from summer vacation to find that the City was… just as unchanged as it was when they left to visit far away beaches and get that lovely golden tan they simply could not get in the City. The sky was a brilliant robin’s egg blue with a few fluffy clouds scudding through the sky but the sun warmed the backs of those who were brave enough to venture out of their shelters and take a stroll down the City Central square, where a large pavilion had been erected to house the eight citizens sitting inside. The seating arrangements had been done specifically without a table that way everyone could see everyone else’s hands, so to speak.

One of the IFians, an over-large orange-furred ape, glared around them all, fixing each one in turn with a stare that would have been quite comical, if not such pure hatred and malice were glinting in his protuberant eyes. It was obvious that he did not wish to be here. To the ape’s right sat a pale green-skinned woman with fleshy wide-webs between her fingers, her feet mashed into glittering green stilettos that hid the presence of the same webbing between her toes. Her eyes were quite round and when she blinked it was often with just the very thin inner lid she closed over her solid black eyes. On the opposite side of the frog-ish woman a large reptilian something was curled up with her head tucked under her wing. She had scales that were painted black a long time ago but much of the black polish was flaking off and a blood-red color revealed itself to be the original shade of her scales.

On the orange furred ape’s left-hand side sat someone who looked extremely bored and fairly human in appearance, except he did not have irises or whites in his eyes. Something fairly sinister rested about this man’s person and he held himself in a way that demanded respect. But currently he was studying his nails and flicking something out from underneath them. “Damn, had some baby brain left under there from lunch. Stupid serving girl needs to do a better job of cleaning my nails.” He muttered to himself.

Directly across from the orange monkey, an elf maid with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes studied her opposition almost defiantly as she folded her slender arms over her chest and repeatedly patted her feet on the floor in a sharp staccato that rang throughout the pavilion. To the elf maid’s right was a man who wore a suit that would not have looked out of place nineteen-twenty Chicago, with the exception that a fine layer of dust settled over every inch of it so it looked faded, unlike the main’s hair which was ginger. He twirled an ebony cane between his long fingers, the metal skull on the end almost unrecognizable from the spinning. On the ginger man’s left was a partially toga-clad boy with dark hair and rather blank eyes who was consistently muttering to himself and scratching with a quill onto a piece of parchment with the words “The IF Quirer” emblazoned at the top. On occasion the boy would stop, mutter something into the air and then tilt his head to the side and listen, much like a dog would.

On the elf maid’s left sat an amiable looking man dressed in dark jeans, a striped-shirt and an olive jacket. He was smiling slightly but quite pointedly not staring at any person in particular, occasionally rubbing his hand over the slight scruff of his five o’clock shadow. This figure did nothing but wait, his ankle moving sedately in time to the beat of some unheard music, and his hands were flicking a long slim metal tool back and forth between his fingertips, the click of his nails against the tool the only break in the quiet of the pavilion, aside from the steady drip of sweat from the IFians and the elf maid’s tapping foot.

Finally, a redheaded woman sitting in between the two groups cleared her throat and stood up, beckoning the brunette at her side to stand as well. The brunette had blue eyes and stood about a head shorter than the tall redhead beside her, putting her hands on her hips and tapping the fabric of her blue dress contemplatively. “As we’ve all got different ideas about what could help the city to grow and become more active …” The shorter woman began.

“Bugger this. I don’t care what you lot have to say. You’re a bunch of know-nothing n00bs who have dragged IF into the state it’s currently in.” The orange furred ape had interrupted the brunette woman, standing up suddenly and stamping one of his over-large feet on the ground, making the floor of the pavilion crack beneath his temper.

At this goading, the elf maid sitting directly across from the ape jumped to her feet, eyes flaring up in bad temper, just as the hooded figure, the boy and the man sitting nearest her quickly maneuvered themselves to stand in front of her. The dragon, the amphibian and the half-daemon sitting near the ape got to their feet as well, although more sedately, almost leisurely in comparison to their younger counterparts.

Quickly, the taller redhead and the shorter brunette moved to stand between both sides, their arms outstretched. “Look, I know everyone here is under a lot of stress and strain, but that’s no reason to lose our heads about this, alright?” The redhead said bluntly, glaring hard at both the overgrown ape and the elf maid.

“Stow it, Lily.” The ape replied to her, giving her a contemptuous look.

Lily glowered right back. “Chinaren, if you can’t keep a civil tongue in your head, you’ll find it on the floor with your toes. You started this when you interrupted Tika.”

Chinaren made to snap off another retort at the faerie before the shorter woman spoke up again. “ENOUGH! Everyone sit BACK in their seats until the meeting has ended and the next person to interrupt ME will find themselves buried in gryphon dung up to their necks!” Tika’s eyes glared at all nine of her companions and most of them looked sulkily back at her before settling themselves down again, except the faerie who folded her arms across her chest and tapped her boot impatiently.

Then Tika cleared her throat and began again. An hour later, the negotiations inside the pavilion were still not going well when a distraction arrived in the form of a girl with long dark hair kept in a ponytail and carrying Oriental weaponry about her person, sprinting for all her worth toward the meeting. “Mister Sagi! Mister Sagi!” She shouted in a voice that brought attention to her immediately when she pelted into the pavilion and stumbled onto her face at the feet of the man to the elf maid’s left. “Quickly…” She panted, her long blue tank top damp with sweat. “The factory… Skiffyville... pressure overload…”

Apparently this information made some sort of sense to Sagittaeri, who rose and left the pavilion at once, leaving everyone behind, including his underling who promptly passed out, her message delivered.

“Well I guess that puts a damper on the rest of the meeting with the Sci-Fi mod out of the picture.” Lily added in a snide undertone as they all looked at each other. “Back here next Sunday… or else I’ll send the A.S.S. drones for your bodies.”

As the gathering dispersed, Tikanni wandered out of the pavilion and let out a sigh, even as Lilith came to stand beside her.

“That went well,” she said in a sarcastic tone to the fairy at her side, as she began the walk back towards the Fantasy Forest, her long, dark hair sweeping behind her with the speed of her gait, the skirt of her blue dress dragging softly upon the ground. “I'm going back to my tower to relax...care to be my sparring partner for a spot of fencing?” She glanced at Lilith enquiringly. “You're one of the only people that presents a slight challenge these days.” She grinned at the red-head, who shot her a withering glance. Tikanni gave a quiet laugh and carried on speaking. “And, once I've had a chance to unwind a little, we can have a proper chat about all of this bollocks.”

She gestured back at the now empty pavilion, but kept walking, putting distance between herself and the whole messy business, it seemed. Lilith considered the offer, then nodded.

“Fine, but I insist upon a referee,” she said, giving a light flutter of her wings. “I'm convinced you cheated last time. And no shape-shifting.” She pointed a warning finger at the shamaness, her expression stern, even as the other's fell.

“That's not fair, Lil!” Tikanni protested. “That's part of my defense and attack routine. It needs to be practiced.”

Lilith shook her head adamantly. “I am not having a ten foot octopus wrapped around my face again, Tikanni. End of argument. No shape-shifting.”

“Fine,” the Shamaness replied, linking her arm through her friend's as they entered the forest and headed for the white, stone tower at its heart.

~~~

“GAHHH! I said NO SHAPE-SHIFTING!”

Throwing open the doors of the Fencing Room, Lilith stomped out, black slime dripping down her form. She wiped a hand over her face, removing the excess and shaking it onto the marble floor. Tikanni followed, trying not to laugh.

“I'm sorry...”

“Why an octopus? Why do you always have to turn into something slimy and gross?”

“Well...it was a squid actually...”

“I don't bloody care! It was slimy, gross and had tentacles! Just...why?!”

“It's a good defense.” Tikanni shrugged. “All those legs just...”

“I don't care!”

Lilith shook her wings, splatting the black gunk against the walls. Tikanni winced at the sight of the mess adoring the walls and floor, but knew it was her own fault.

“You can use the bath,” she said apologetically. “Take as long as you like, and I'll be in the lounge when you're done to discuss that fiasco at the meeting earlier.”

Tikanni stood by the window in the sumptuously decorated lounge high up in her tower, waiting for Lilith to finish her bath. A cup of thick hot-chocolate nestled in her palms, from which she would take a sip every now and then, though her gaze never faltered in its surveillance of the City outside, as she pondered the events of the meeting. Changed out of her fighting garb, she was newly clad in a soft gown of a light, warm teal, the long bell sleeves trimmed in intricate cream lace, and the fit of the dress and the low, sweetheart neckline flattering to her curved figure. The dark-blue eyes set into her pale visage were thoughtful, a frown lightly lining her forehead. She tucked a lock the colour of dark chocolate behind her ear as she took another sip of the hot, creamy beverage in her hand, and let out a tired sigh. She turned to walk away from the window, when suddenly there was a loud crash, and the floor beneath her feet shook gently, though enough to rouse the Gryphon sleeping beside the fire and causing her gaze to dart around in an alert but slightly haughty manner.

“What the...?”

She turned back, her eyes seeking out whatever might have been the cause of tremor, and her eyes instantly fell upon a halo of smoke covering part of Skiffiville. She remembered the message that KK had conveyed to Sagittaeri at the meeting.

“The factory...?” she mused, her frown deepening. She drank down the last of her hot chocolate and set the cup upon one of the side tables with a light tap, gesturing to the Gryphon, who was eyeing her with interest. “Come Gwyar, let's go check it out.”

Gwyar got to her feet, stretched slightly then languidly approached her mistress, rubbing her head against the Shamaness's shoulder. Tikanni smiled and headed out into the hall, her pet at her heels. She paused at the foot of a long staircase, about to shout up to Lilith about her plans, when the charms and spells set around her home alerted her to an uninvited visitor. Closing her eyes and casting out her awareness, she instantly hit upon the identity and the location and rolled her eyes.

“Lily, there's been an explosion in Skiffiville, and I'm heading down there, so follow on as soon as you can,” she called up to the fairy. “And use the door next time, it's only polite” she added to the other visitor, before making her way over to a balcony, climbing onto Gwyar's back, and holding on tightly as the Gryphon leapt over the edge, spread her wings and set a course for Skiffiville.

~~~

Lilith, who'd been lying in the bath with her eyes closed and a hot, wet washcloth laid across her face, blissfully dozing in the delightfully warm water, started awake at the sound of the Fantasy Mod's voice. At the last line, she frowned and removed the flannel.

“What do you mean use the door, I came back with you...” she shouted back, before giving a screech at the sight of a figure in the corner by the window. The tiny washcloth being the only thing to hand, the red-head attempted to hide her nakedness with it, succeeding very little in doing so, submerging herself below the water with only her head visible, glaring at the other. “LORDY! What the hell are you doing in here?! I told you the last time...”

“It's an emergency, Lily. The factory in Skiffi-” the half-daemon started to say, but was quickly cut off.

“I don't want to hear it! Get out!” Lilith shouted at him, throwing the wet washcloth, which flew across the room and hit him in the face. “I'm done now anyway. You can tell me when I'm dried, and more importantly CLOTHED!”

He tried to protest, but Lilith was having none of it.

“OUT! NOW!” She huffed, pointing firmly at the door. “If I didn't know better, I'd be sure you and Tikanni are plotting my demise between you, the way you both keep springing these situations upon me!”

Defeated in his efforts, the half-daemon walked towards the door and exited. With another huff, Lilith got out of the bath and set about drying herself, fluttering her wings to flick off the excess water. Slipping back into the clothes she'd worn to the meeting, which had been neatly stacked on a marble surface on the other side of the bathroom, she then walked over to a huge, ornate mirror brushed her hair through, before opening the door and starting after the Daemon, suddenly curious as to the big emergency.

~~~
Tika’s gryphon back-winged as she circled for a landing, alighting gently beside the hooded figure of the Skiffiville mod who was surveying the damage before him with a sense of hopelessness.

Tika dismounted in a hurry, reaching Sagi’s side and gripping his shoulder tightly. “Oh no…” She whispered in shock, her eyes wide. “What happened?”

Sagi shook his head slowly, the metal pipe held in his hands turning into dust before their very eyes. They were standing at the outskirts of a mountain of rubble that had once been the Idearium factory, the powerhouse of IF. “The pressure gauges had to have fried trying to pull more Idearium than was there. So once those went, everything else just short circuited… and the place collapsed.” Sagittaeri replied in a quiet whisper, shaking his head still.

“What do we do without it? That was our saving grace these past few years…” Tika wondered aloud, a spasm of fear crossing her petite features.

Assistance this Chapter: Tikanni Corazon

[Andolyn]

DOWN WITH THE OLD FARTS!!!

*Ahem* Apologies...getting too much into character. XD

This is fantastic, Lil. I'm interested to see where it goes. Honestly, I'm not sure what to answer for the DP. That seems to have been the big question for us all. I've thrown everything at it I know to throw...so I'll wait to see what other answers we come up with. =)

[kkdestiny]

Maybe someone can call up another meeting, tell both sides to not focus on who/what's making the activity go down, but focus on what to do about it.

There should be brainstorming, more ideas come from having more brains.

[Lilith]

So we've got... "Call another meeting that's going to end up with everyone disagreeing again" and...

what else peeps? If I don't get another suggestion here soon, I'll just write the next chapter with KKD's suggestion.

[Seraphi]

I'm apt to agree with kkdestiny on this one, have another meeting of the disagreeable minds. However throw a monkey wrench in there.

Instead of a constant squabble between the ones on the podium have an unknown IFian from the crowd pipe up and say something, anything, about making the city better (like...spreading the word of IF in other affiliated "cities", or some sort of community project thing, or a minimal participation log...or something along those lines). People come back so they must have faith in the community. And there are n00bier n00bs than the "n00bs" on the podium coming in - turn some of them into proactive sons of bitches!

Just as an added thought to kkdestiny's idea...

From a n00b :P

(Awesome writing, by the way. Loved the detail!)

[Emperor]

dollar late and a day short once again.

really liked the first one, like kk said, wish I was a mod just to see my gruesome death.

I will have to reread the second one when I have more time. I got lost a little. the fencing scene was great though, nice little piece of levity.

[misterbiz]

Call a meeting but this time meet with each side separately. I say go with the noobs first then the old timers. Maybe separate meetings where people aren't blinded by their prejudices would be a good idea.

[sagittaeri]

Awesome work!

I'm in agreement with everyone else before me. In particular, biz's idea.

[Lilith]

Chapter 2

Slowly, as if the sure-footed thief couldn’t believe his very eyes, Sagi moved forward and reached down to pick up a dislodged gauge, before it too crumbled into nothingness in his hands. Tika reached forward and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “We’ve got to tell Andi and Biz. Lil will be along shortly I’m sure.” She said in a choked voice as she turned back to Gwyar and vaulted back up to the gryphon’s back. “Are you riding with me?”

Sagi shook his head and waved a hand at the mess of the factory, bitterness evident on his otherwise handsome face. “No. I’m going to recruit clean-up and repairs from the locals of Skiffy. It’s high time they got off their lazy bums and did something for their home.” He nodded and stepped away from Tika and Gwyar so they could take off uninhibited.

“Alright, well I’m calling two more meetings; one with us and one with the oldies. This is an emergency of epic proportions. I’ll send along word to you when we’ve gathered to discuss the situation and what to do about it.” Tikanni added before giving a soft pat to her gryphon’s shoulder. “Let’s be off to the Mayoral Mansion. Andi needs to know what’s happened.” And with that, Gwyar launched her form into the air, wings spread their full wing-span as she caught the currents beneath them and glided with apparent ease toward the center of the City.

Down below, Sagi recovered himself from his shock and began issuing orders to his underlings to drag out every single IFian left in the district by their short hairs if they had to. “I want every able-bodied citizen, tourist and visitor working to clear this rubble and then I want the old ones prodded awake to work on recreating the factory. I don’t care if it takes every single dram of magic left in the City, we will fix this. We have to fix this.” It seemed a moderator of a district took it personally if disaster struck his home during his watch.

While Sagi started hefting large pieces of stone and metal out of the way of the original factory site and his mechanized droid-underlings scuttled off to do his bidding, a shadow of something dark slid from the rubble and down the street that led toward the center of the city, mirroring Tikanni’s flight pattern. A shiver passed down Sagittaeri’s spine and he looked up from his work, glancing around in confusion to get a fix on whatever had made him so uneasy. He didn’t see anything so he returned to his work, determined to make some progress to report on when the aforementioned meeting was called.

***

High above the sky-reaching buildings, Gwyar and Tika flew toward Andi’s current residence, the Mayoral Mansion. As the large building came into view, the Shamaness spotted a couple of figures on the flat rooftop of the building, waving their arms up at her. “Down Gwyar.” Tika commanded as she squeezed her knees against the gryphon’s sides, urging her pet to take her down to the signaling figures, and within seconds, she realized it was Andi and Biz and they did not look very happy.

When they finally landed, it wasn’t more than a second after Tika got her boots on the ground that Andi hurtled into her and squeezed her around the middle. “Tika! We just heard about the factory in Skiffy! What happened?” The blonde elf maid said all in a rush as Biz followed her at a slow jog, a more sedate manor than the obvious affection the Mayor had for her Vice.

Tika hugged Andi back and then held her out at arms length. “Apparently the Idearium drawers were working too hard under too much pressure and they just finally gave. They couldn’t get enough Idearium to satisfy the demand and the entire structure just crumbled into dust. Sagi’s working on getting the area cleaned up at the moment but we need to have a full Council meeting and figure out what to do.” She glanced at both Andi and Biz again, drawing breath before opening her mouth again but Andi beat her to it.

“We should speak with the older members too, you know. We don’t have to like them to admit they have more experience than we do at disaster.” Andi said. “But with all of us in the same room… it doesn’t seem to work.”

Tika nodded even as Biz’s lip curled up in a sneer. “Promise me that if I ever get as cantankerous as Chinaren you’ll crucify me properly. I couldn’t stand it if that ever happened.”Misterbiz requested, leaning his weight on his cane while he listened to the girls.

Andolyn turned and gave Biz a short look before responding, “I promise, that if you ever get as annoying as Chinaren, I will ask someone to do that for you. I personally couldn’t do it myself.” She declared, a brief smile flicking across her lips.

Tika just shook her head at them both before clearing her throat to speak again. “Alright. So we have a full Council meeting and a separate meeting with the oldies. I’ll make Lily talk to them. If she can’t make them cooperate, maybe she’ll kill them for us out of irritation, she does have a temper.”

“If the dragon doesn’t fry her wings first.” Biz remarked sardonically.

“Don’t be silly. Rai likes her… most of the time.” Andolyn countered as the three of them started for the door that led to the stairs to take them back down to the inner workings of the Mayoral Mansion, Gwyar close behind them, sticking close to her mistress.

The sounds of the Mayor, Vice Mayor and Horror Mod’s discussion floated down among the breezes toward the sidewalk that went around the Mansion and caused the dark shadow that had followed Tika’s scent here to pause, almost as if tasting the air. There was dissent amongst the powerful citizens, oh yes, and a delicious dissent it was… it could definitely begin its work here with these three and then move on to the others that were mentioned. With a shiver of pleasure, the dark shadow slid underneath the bottom of the mansion’s wall and into the building, seeking out its first victims with a hunger that was akin to bloodlust.

***

“Now that you’re not staring at me naked, what in the devil is the big emergency?” Lilith demanded, placing her hands on her hips as she squared off with the daemon in the sitting room. It was an odd sight, Lordy sitting in one of Tika’s plush over-stuffed armchairs as if he was civilized.

The daemon himself rolled his black eyes briefly at her and scoffed. “I wasn’t staring. And it’s funny you should mention my father…” He drawled slowly in his English accent but soon enough he was cut off by a pointed clearing of the throat from Lily. “Oh fine, you’re no fun to wind up anymore…” Lordy sighed in disappointment.

“Bite me,” was the faerie’s short reply, to which Lordy gnashed razor-sharp pointed teeth.

“Perhaps later, nymph. As I was saying, there’s something wrong in the City. It’s like all of the Idearium dried up at once. I know the supply has been low because of the lack of activity, but it shouldn’t have happened just like that…” He snapped his fingers to make his point, the expression on his face clearly serious.

“Okay, yeah that’s an emergency… did you tell Andi?” Lily replied, leaning her hip against the back of another armchair, not feeling like sitting down right now.

Lordy looked pained and he shook his head slowly. “No… I really can’t talk to that… elf-woman. I was hoping you’d join me with Rai and the others to try and figure out what happened. You’re kind of old like we are, you know… so it makes more sense that you help us figure out what happened.”

The faerie pressed her lips together tightly as she watched the daemon rise, dust his jacket off and look at her expectantly. Some part of her yearned to shout Lordy down and perhaps throw something at him, but another part of her knew he was right… she was at least part of the ‘oldie’ group. “Just a second, I need to go grab something.” She said suddenly, jogging back upstairs to Tika’s room.

Once upstairs, Lily took a few moments to hunt for the mirror compact that belonged to Tika and when she didn’t find it, she almost cheered with victory. That meant the shamaness had it. Quickly, she ducked back into the bathroom and tapped the mirror with a fingertip, whispering Tikanni to it. The surface of the mirror shivered and went black and a high-pitched ringing sound filled the air.

Soon the black gave way to a circle of light that surrounded Tika’s face. “Lily! I was just thinking about calling you! But I stopped because I didn’t know if you were still in the tub or not… listen, we’ve got some serious bad stuff going on and…”

Lilith held up a hand and stopped Tika. “I know. Idearium suddenly dried up and is causing big problems for the City. Lordy just told me. He wants me to go to a meeting with him and some of the oldies to try and work out a solution… without telling Andi. I know you’ll let her know what’s up. Do you want me to try and reconnoiter on my end and see if I can work things through here or do you want me to go tell Andi myself?”

Tika, instead of looking thoughtful, frowned and turned to someone behind her and relayed everything Lily had said. “I’m with Andi and Biz at the Manor right now and it turns out that this Idearium sudden dry-up has already had some major consequences, Lils. The factory imploded in Skiffy.”

Lily’s mouth dropped open in shock and she gripped the bathroom counter for support. “Not good.”

“No, it’s not.” Tika agreed. “Go with him and find out if the oldies know anything more than what we do. I’m calling a full Council meeting with the others and we’ll try and figure out some temporary solutions at least if not a permanent one. And Lily?”

The faerie had turned to go when Tika called her back for a moment and she met the blue eyes with her own hazel ones. “Yeah?”

“Try to not kill anyone. As much as they hate us and we tolerate them, we need each other.” Then the Shamaness smiled and closed her compact which cut the connection and made the bathroom mirror shimmer to normal.

Lilith rolled her eyes and jogged back downstairs to where Lordy waited for her. “Alright, let’s go. Turns out Tika took it with her.” She said breezily. “Where are they?”

He smirked down at her. “Where else would they be? The Inn.”

***

Soon, they both arrived at the historic Inn and Lily was pleased to see that the scrubbed and polished wood interior hadn’t changed in the slightest. The bar stools were still plush with cushioning and magic still hung heavy in the air. As Lordy folded his black leathery wings behind his back and Lily did the same with her own gossamer ones, Bruno, the bartender, pointed up the stairs to indicate they were expected in the Tower at the moment.

The daemon gave Bruno a slight jerk of his chin and strode off, looking as if he felt himself important enough to warrant a private room. Lilith shook her head after him and gave Bruno a smile and a little finger wave before jogging up the steps after Lordy, her ponytail bouncing with the movements and making her hair brush across the exposed skin of her back.

It was a good thing too, or else she might’ve felt the sudden chill breeze as the heavy magic in the main portion of the Inn dropped and the fake imagery faded to dull grey wood and Bruno’s body lying on the floor behind the bar with his throat slit, slowly draining of blood.

***

As they approached the arched door that led to the Tower room, Lordy pushed it open with a hand and waved Lily on through inside. “Ladies first.” He offered, the expression on his face stopping just short of a sneer. The faerie did indeed walk past him into the Tower, but not before giving him a sharp elbow in the gut as she walked by, making the daemon grunt with surprise and brief pain as he closed the door behind them.

Once inside, Lily surveyed the rooms inhabitants with a practiced eye; the much-shrunk down version of Rai’s draconic form, Chinaren plucking at the orange fuzz covering his body idly, Lordy flopping in a chair like it was a throne and the pale-green skinned woman from the meeting looking fairly bored as she tapped her heel against one of the tables. “I assume you’ve all heard what’s happened then? Idearium drying up everywhere and giving us all a reason for concern?” Lily asked, tired of them sitting in silence and doing nothing.

“Yes, but what’re we supposed to do about it? It’s not like we’re responsible for what has happened.” Crunchyfrog replied slowly, turning her large black protuberant eyes on the faerie and blinking.

“It’s an OFian conspiracy clearly aimed to get us to start a war with them at our weakened state. Bring the troops up to speed and set sail! Bring fire, death and destruction to them all!” Kalanna Rai called out, bringing down a fist on another wooden table, which smashed under the dragon’s strength.

“OF’s not that good at getting spies in the City and getting them back out again with usable info, though. I doubt they’re behind this.” Lordy advised quietly, looking bored again as he glanced over at Chinaren.

The over-large ape studied all of the IFians in the room with him for a brief moment before he spoke. “It could be OF but I agree with Lordy. I doubt they’ve got the skill to pull this off…”

“So we’re up against an unknown enemy draining off what basically makes us tick. What do we do?” The faerie tapped her boot on the floor idly, mostly from frustration and irritation and the zero answers she got from the oldies.

“You can stand still and let me eat you quietly. Noisy prey does so annoy my digestion.” The voice that spoke made every single IFian’s blood run chill and slowly, Lily turned around so she was facing the large shadow that had coalesced behind her, advancing on the group of five.

Assistance this Chapter: ...None.

DP: Well, we're just f*cked, aren't we? Do we fight? Surrender? Run? Hide? Or sacrifice one of the oldies so the others can take off and get the news to the others?

And just who/what is this mysterious creature that seems to want to eat us and slurp up all the tasty Idearium that's the lifeblood of the City?

[kkdestiny]

I am against surrenderby principle, but I doubt another of the other options would work without a distraction.

Someone needs to be sacrificed to allow the others to group up.

We also need information on this guy, so who's tough enough to be all hot headed and demand a name? :D

[Tikanni Corazon]

Hey Lil


I do love this SG! It always makes me giggle without fail, and you're very good at getting the characters pretty much spot on. Or I'm just highly interested in reading something that's got about me in it. :P


I'm very much intrigued as to what these shadows are, I have to say. I have no idea as to what they could be myself, if that's part of the DP, unless they are OFians. As for the rest of the DP...

If there are any windows in the room, could Lil, Lordy, Crunchy, and C-Ren all get out of the window, while Rai breaths fire at the shadowy creature and returns to her normal dragon size, probably destroying the Inn in the process, but sacrifices must be made, no? Once the rubble is shaken from her wings, maybe she'll permit the non-flying oldies to climb upon her back, so that they can all get well away from there. Probably best to all swallow their pride and head to the mayoral mansion. Seems that Andi, Tika and Biz might all be in the same boat very shortly and they might need a hand...I do stress 'might' though. I might be able to handle it solo. ;)


Great chappie, much enjoyed! Keep up the good work! :)

[Andolyn]

LOVE it, LIL!!!! fantastic as always!! i'm with Tika, my narcissism keeps me loving stories about myself. XD Toss an oldie at it and run!!! lol!!!

[Seraphi]

I have no idea what the abilities of any of the older members are, so I'm going to jump on the wagon with this one and say Kalanna fire blasts the crap out of the Inn and then they make their escape. I'm not sure if they'll immediately go to the mayoral mansion - it will probably take a lot of convincing, and cursing, on Lilith's part - but it is probably the best course of action. Whether they want to admit it or not, everything that has happened affects them, too, and they will need help/should offer it.

I also have no idea what an Ofian is (though I can take a vague guess XD), so for now the ominous shadow of strange chaotic mystery will stay the ominous shadow of strange chaotic mystery, haha. I do think that, before the Inn becomes a matchstick, someone should try and gather some information on the shadow, whether it be through talk or a quick attack of some sort.

Great chapter, Lil! Can't wait for more! :D

[sagittaeri]

I agree with the rest. Have Rai go all mighty dragon on the shadow, while the rest escapes. If anyone can survive this, it's a great dragon. :D

Lil', this is really awesome, and very, very entertaining! Kinda weird reading about myself, but I'm slowly getting used to it! :P

[Lilith]

Winning Option...

Rai destroys Inn by sizing-up and breathing fire at shadow-guy, while the others hop, jump and fly out the windows.

Well I'm going to continue trying to head-butt my way through this story because it's a lot of fun to write when I let loose and just let it flow. You will notice that chapters are going to become A LOT shorter for this that way it won't be such a beast to get moving again.

Enjoy! - Lily

Chapter 3

”Oh fu-“ Lily started to say before the beast that had crept up behind her lashed out with a black furred arm attached to a large paw and sent the faerie tumbling across the room and into the opposite wall with a loud thud. The creature licked two rows of grinning razor-edged teeth with a forked purple tongue as it pulled the smokey-shadowy-blackness around it tighter and the rest of its body solidified. It was long as Rai but twice as bulky; where the dragon was lean and quick, the creature was sinewy. Its face was that of a dog without a snout; two slits between it’s almond-shaped yellow eyes and dangerous grin were all it had for a nose.

“Now,” it began, eyeing up the inhabitants of the rest of the room as the faerie slid down the wall, knocked out cold. “Where were we? Ah, yes, you were going to prepare to be my meal for the day, that’s right…” The beast’s smile grew even more sinister as it crouched down, preparing to spring and attack it’s next target, the largest being in the room.

Snorting with the arrogance only a dragon can have, Kalanna Rai opened her muzzle and let loose a blast of dragonfire right at the thing. Sounds of sizzling flesh and the smell of scorched fur soon filled the Rotund Tower as well as an infernal sort of smoke, masking everyone’s presence from everyone else.

“Rai! Destroy the Inn so we can get some fresh air! We’ll never make it out of here if you keep this up!” Crunchyfrog shouted form the floor, coughing and hacking up her lungs, just before an almighty roar announced the beast’s fury.

Taking the hint from CF, the dragon lifted her head heavenwards and expanded her form to its full size, which crunched the walls, ceiling and floor of the Rotund Tower into oblivion, along with the rest of the Inn. With the smoke now disappating, CF, Cren and Lordy now could see the beast again, it’s fur now laying matted and scorched on freshly burned and blistered skin… with the partially-conscious faerie held up between its claws of one paw, now wriggling as she became aware of her surroundings.

It gave a malevolent look at the dragon and company before reaching up with two claws of its opposite paw and carefully wrenched out first one, then the other of the delicate gossamer wings attached to Lily’s shoulder blades.

An ear-piercing shrill scream of pain rang out across the City Center from the location of the former IF Inn.

***

“Stop being so stubborn you two.” Andi and Tika both said at the same time, glaring at misterbiz and Pope from across the table. “Yes, the oldies are self-involved and egotistical, but like it or not, they did lay the foundations for the community we share in today. We do need to respect their opinions at least, even if we don’t agree with them.” Tikanni finished, looking at the blonde elf for support.

Andolyn nodded and glared down both misterbiz and Pope, who quailed under her furious glare, something she didn’t pull out normally. “Good, now that we’ve all reached an agreement, something needs to be done in the interim about the exploded Skiffy factory. Idearium shortages notwithstanding, the building’s debris and such are being gathered up but without a constant flow of it from the factory, IF will dry up in resources and we’ll be vulnerable to attack from OF and AN should they find out we’re weak.”

Biz cleared his throat and spoke up, rising quickly from his seat at the table, Rodney the pocket-bat swaying on his shoulder as the cane fell from its resting place against Biz’s knee. “What do you propose we do then, Andi?” He demanded in exasperation. “Glue a quill and piece of parchment to every IFian’s hands or feathers or tails or paws? Everyone, including me, is feeling the effects of the dread Writer’s Block now and without Idearium to help fend it off, we’re going to fade back into Real Life and not wish to return. You know it, and so do the rest of the Council.”

Pope glanced between the bickering Mods and Mayor, watching no one’s face light up with a brilliant plan or solution. He licked his lips slowly before raising his hand, trepidation growing in his stomach slightly out of nervous energy. Tika looked over at him with a tired smile, her own mind wrung dry. “Yes dear, what is it?”

Surprisingly enough, Pope grinned mischievously and said, “It’s simple. We… -“ Pope’s idea was promptly cut off at the shrill, blood-curdling scream sounding through City Central and echoing magically magnified throughout the alleys and side-streets of the rest of IF.

“That’s... not encouraging.” Andi said in a hoarse voice, looking between her comrades swiftly, blue eyes wide with fear.

A much shorter and very action packed chapter this time! Let's hope we can keep this ball rolling kids! Obviously... what do they do, both groups if you have a mind to creativity. And HAVE fun with this, enjoy! Who knows, I might mangle YOU next!

[PopeAlessandrosXVIII]

Somehow I now feel like a dorky puppy *Grin* *Glances at first mention* And since when do I wear Togas? But no matter. *Waves hands*It made me giggle to imagine myself in one :P Other than the urge to ask Tikanni-chan to show you my IFsona, I think this was very interesting.

The deaths in the beginning were rather clever. Poor old mayors n' mods :P I wonder if there is a way to avoid this horrible fate. I wonder even more what my idea is :P

DP. . . . .DP. . . . .

1. I think Kalanna-chan is a little too scatter shot for trying to to rescue Lilith-chan,so I'd say Lordy-sama darts in and tries for a precision strike. Extraction and fleeing only. He's got wings, so they should be able to fly out of there. At least far enough for them to hide. *Feels goofy romantic vibes* You can shoot me fore them later. *Grin* Anyways, they should go hide somewhere, and the other Oldies should make their way to the manor. Maybe Kalanna-chan can fire off one final blast after the rescue to give them some time.

2. Not sure if this is allowed, but I can see Pope sending off his helpers, Stein and Rover, to try and find out what's going on. Stein is my top reporter, and Rover is his android dog. (Cremu-chan drew a pic of them for me that you can find in the Artist Ave.) Even if no on that, I think Lyn-chan should gather the remaining IFians, send someone out to Skiffiville to retrieve Sagi-kun. Divided we fall and all, ya know? And with the minions Biz-kun and Tikanni-chan can pull together, I think it may help keep our dear IFians alive a little longer, no? *Throws in a little more Hero syndrome* Pope volunteers to fetch Sagi-kun. In his wolf form he should be able to get to Skiffiville and back with Sagi-kun rather quickly.



Sorry, may have gone overboard up there. It's just the way my mind works :P I over do thinking things :P Anyways, interesting chapter, and can't wait to see what happens next! Will Lilith-chan be saved!? Will the n00bs be killed before they know of the danger?! Giiiii! Can't wait!

[Lilith]

Thanks for the quick read through Pope!

The togas was something of a spur of the moment inspiration and it stuck. So, unfortunately, now you will forever be ingrained in my memory wearing a toga with an old fashioned Roman scroll tucked under your arm. XD

As to the IFsona corrections, I did hunt through the IFiki before I started working on this tale many months ago, but there wasn't a lot to be had by the way of information there on everyone I needed. :) Sagi was kind enough to do a write-up for his own and PM'd it to me so I went through and edited him in... wearing a cloak.XD Can't help it.

Everyone else I pretty much have a good impression of... with the exception of Seraphi... but I shall snag her soon when her time comes to stumble into this tale... *cackle*

And you seem to be leaning towards getting Sagi and the Oldies all back to the Mayoral Mansion as a large group then fighting back, is this a correct assumption?

[sagittaeri]

Aweeeesome!! I was just thinking about this SG the other day...I'm so glad it's back!

We need to have Rai going all fiery again...but without cooking Lilith. We need a diversion. I don't know the other personas enough, but one of the others will have to do something to distract the beast, and one more to help our faerie to safety when the beast releases her. Once everyone is out of the way, Rai should go all dragony on the beast again while they continue to try to get to safety!

As for the other group...send someone to help. Whether it's Pope's lackeys, or biz turning into a bat and flying over, it doesn't matter. The ones staying behind will continue their very important meeting to save the city.

[misterbiz]

Send Biz & Tika to investigate the scream...Biz's undead nature should offer some protection as should his ability to change into mist as well as Tika's ability's as a Shaman...

and sagi, I can not turn into a bat...that's racist...I can only turn into mist. Either way, send the vamp and shaman to investigate, send pope to get sagi and make andolyn stay put.

Glad to see this rolling again

Now give me more

[Lilith]

Alright everyone! Lots of suggestions and lots of combinations/possibilities. You've got 14 days to make your choice and click an option!

[Emperor]

With Lilly's life at stake I can only offer the option of bargaining with the dark beast.

The other group should go investigate and quickly, argument or not when a scream emanates from the inn it can only mean 1 of 2 things, someone needs help or someone is having a really good time, in either case it should pique their interest.



Reader notes... I don't get the whole OF and AN thing but I guess I'm on the outside of that particular reference. As an "oldie" I'm not self -involved and egotistical. It's not my fault that I have so many great things going on in my own life. *BTW iff anyone doesn't get it, that last sentence was an intentional joke*

Apologies Lili that my participation is so lackluster.