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ethereal_fauna
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 Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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I'll be thinking on this 
Hmmm...how to get past fluffy critters what wanna et ya...
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| Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Shady Stoat wrote: | My favourite's got to be RLZ though. He's so CUTE!  |
*Strikes a heroic pose* RLZ's caught up to the story! RLZ thinks RLZ is very cute too!
| Quote: | | Have RLZ do a Tarzan yell...that should attract a few elephantal spirits. |
RLZ forgets who said this, but RLZ lovesded the idea! (Too bad that chapter is over...)
| Chinaren wrote: | | Emerald shrugged, causing her upper parts to jiggle distractingly. |
Possibly the best part of the story... Nah, but it was really funny, I'm glad that while I was away you kept me included in the story Chinaren. I mean... RLZ means, RLZ is glad you kept RLZ in tEh story! *strikes a pose*
Edit: Oh yes, how could RLZ forgets? *strikes a pose with his 'Once a man. Now a Her' leather jacket on* RLZ votes for tEh fluffy inside outer eater things!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:38 pm Post subject: Episode 7 part 1 - Sorrowful. |
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Episode 7 part 1 - Sorrowful.
“What are what? I can’t see anything. Just a load of pink flower things” said IM.
“Indeed. I can’t see why he is just sitting there and crying” said Muaddib. “He doesn’t seem to be tied up or restrained in any way.”
“No, look. Those ‘flower things’ are moving. Very slowly maybe, but moving.” Smee pointed.
They all squinted. “Mmm. So they are the slug eaters?” said Muaddib. He turned to Cyborgninja. “Hey, robot thing! Do you have anything about these creatures in your data banks?”
“++Loading, please wait++” bleeped CN.
They waited.
“How long does it take?” said IM five minutes later. “I could have run back to IF and borrowed a book on them by now…”
“++Search complete++” interrupted the robot. “++No information found++”
They all groaned. “Great!” said IM. “Look, why don’t we just storm over there and carry bloody Sorrow out of there? My gown is soaking!”
“Do you really think that he,” Smee jerked a thumb in the direction of Chinaren, who was sitting on a chair sipping White Russians on a small pavilion he had managed to erect somehow, “would arrange this if it were safe? I think not.”
IM sagged back. “You have a point.”
Jnmrcs searched around on the ground for a moment, finally locating a large stone. Judging the distance carefully he hefted it into the sky. The group watched it arc overhead and then landed with a splash next to a group of the flower things. Immediately all the flower things in the area converged on the stone, encompassing it in a mass of pink. They swarmed around it for a minute, then obviously decided it wasn’t something they were interested in and dropped away. Soon the scene was as serene as before.
“Interesting” said Smee. “Still want to take a stroll over there?” he asked IM, who shook his head.
“I wonder if they can hear us?” said Muaddib. He raised his voice and shouted. “Hey Sorrow! Are you…mmmfff” The rest of the sentence was muffled as Smee, Jnmrcs and IM leapt on him.
“Are you mad? What are you doing?” hissed Jnmrcs.
“Mmff. Mfff. …t go of me! I was just seeing if they could hear us!”
“Hello? Is anyone there?” Sorrow’s voice sailed over the swamp.
“I guess they can’t” said Muaddib, looking vindicated.
“Lucky” said IM.
They looked over at Sorrow.
“What are you doing there Sorrow?” shouted IM.
“I am sunbathing! What the ^&*($ does it look like I am bloody doing? I am surrounded by these freaking purple things. If I take one step off this rock I will be fertilizer. Have you seen what they do?” He pointed off to the right.
The others looked. Partially hidden behind some reeds was a Giant Slug. They weren’t sure what a Giant Slug should really look like, apart from the obvious of course, but this one seemed to be ill. It oozed very slowly forward. Smee felt an unexplained sympathy for the creature.
“Look!” said Jnmrcs.
The slug staggered, if that word could be used on a slug, to one side. A split suddenly appeared on its back and it let out a mournful wail that echoed around the jungle. Another split, then another, and from within the unfortunate creature masses of minute pink flower things spilled forth. The slug let out one last cry and then crumpled like an empty bag.
“Ug!” said Muaddib, making a face.
“Not nice. Though possible useful commercial applications,” said IM, looking thoughtful.
“This doesn’t get us anywhere” complained Smee, who was beginning to get cold, and suspected some sort of swamp creature had bitten him in a tender spot. “What can we do?”
They scratched their heads and looked around.
Behind them Chinaren sipped on a chilled drink and lay back reading a book.
IM shook his head. “What we need, is a plan…”
>>>>>>
Okay, this chapter has been delayed because I seem to have run out of Idearium. So I thought I would do a ‘Part one’ and solicit ideas from you lot, ‘cos that is what you are good at. How can they get Sorrow out of his pickle?
Ideas please, and I will write a, hopefully more interesting part two!
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:56 pm Post subject: |
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Well, barring the use of magic - which is something they seem to have a lot of regardless.
The IFian communist - McDibsky himself - could do down and teach them about socialism, teach them the ways of hte great Marx and Lenin, and lead them in a revolution.
Enlight them poor proletariat about their evil tyrant masters, and throw off the yoke and chain of capitalsim.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:36 am Post subject: |
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Heh, it doesn't look too good for Sorrow. Good chapter Chinaman (though will I ever be making an appearence?   )
Well, how small and fluffy are these things? Is there anyone with lot's and lot's of puff who could just blow them away? That'd be funneh... 
OR.... the Soily One could tunnel in from under and they could all fall away down a lovely hole! Just an idea, you know...
*holds breath* 
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 3:42 am Post subject: |
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Seems they aren't beyond a quick rush on Chinaren...nab him from his little perch and toss him out there to distract the pinkies. No?
We're back to tarzan yells...dammit we're in the jungle and I wanna hear a tarzan yell...
Have Smee find his inner sluggy and call the noble beasts to them. While the pinkies are chasing down the giant slugs Sorrow will be unguarded.
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 3:45 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Seems they aren't beyond a quick rush on Chinaren...nab him from his little perch and toss him out there to distract the pinkies. No? |
I was waiting for someone to mention that. But really, do you think I am that stupid? Best not answer that.
Nice slug distraction idea Fauna, you have a rare and slimy gift. 
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 5:09 am Post subject: |
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I can say two fast ideas that came tome.
1. Leave Sorrow (not as good as it sounds )
2. USe chinaren as a distraction (this one could be great  )
Or (the ideas slower) try to pass sorrow by air (with rope, tree, a piece of wood or magic. Whatever you have)
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:50 am Post subject: |
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We could nick Chinaren's chair and pavilion and build some sort of raft to get to Sorrow. I wouldn't trust it though.
An alternative is to try and find the giant slug lair and capture them. THen we throw giant slugs at the flowers until they're bloated and unhungry. At that point, Sorrow could make a run for it before they got peckish again.
Plenty of other suggestions that might work better though.
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rlz
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:53 am Post subject: |
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| jnmrcs wrote: | 2. USe chinaren as a distraction (this one could be great )
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I think this is the best idea.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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| rlz wrote: | | jnmrcs wrote: | 2. USe chinaren as a distraction (this one could be great )
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I think this is the best idea. |
And the funiest... I hope :biggrin:
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Mother Goose
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Rescue by air sounds possible, like Tarzan on a jungle vine. Maybe Tiny stoat could deliver the vine, as she wouldn't add too much weight to the return trip.
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Sorrow_A
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| Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 3:57 am Post subject: |
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| Nooo! Don't leeeeave me! I don't want to be aloooone!
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| Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:04 am Post subject: |
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I actually like Mother Goose's suggestion. Apart from the rather obvious fact that it leaves tiny stoat at the whim of the evil author chinaren again
Then again, what can possibly go wrong? *beams innocently*
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| Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:34 am Post subject: |
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| Oh. Yeah. And that *grins at lordy*
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| Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:56 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, we need to Starzan action! Vine-swinging ankle-biting action! Huzzah! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
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| Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:16 am Post subject: |
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| Had a feeling I was mixing up who was where!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 4:55 am Post subject: |
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Alrighty. Just put the poll up, which I thought I had done before for some reason.
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| Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 12:10 am Post subject: |
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Voted for chucking China in among the slugs. I'm sure he'll find a way to get out of it, and I think everyone will agree that he kinda deserves it. Alright, really deserves it.
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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| Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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Well, there may be a more dignified* way of attracting slugs.
It's a 1-2-3 vote!
*For me anyway.
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 12:52 am Post subject: |
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hmmmm...missed this chapter - I'll be along in a moment with a vote
| Quote: | Smee felt an unexplained sympathy for the creature.
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*Wanders off wearing his "Doomed to being a slug for all IFtime and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" *
Happy Writing
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:08 am Post subject: |
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Episode 7 part 2 - Sorrowful.
“Well, I say we make a raft and paddle over there” said Jnmrcs, “and I know just where to get one.” He turned about and splashed through the slimy mud towards Chinaren’s pavilion.
Chinaren saw him, looked up from his book* and raised an orange eyebrow.
“May I help you?” he said.
“We want your pavilion” said Jnmrcs. “And we won’t be taking no for an answer.”
“Oh, it’s not my pavilion” said Chinaren, “I am just renting it. It’s hers.” He gestured off to the right, to a large group of trees. Jnmrcs looked over to see a large reptilian head lift above them.
“What do you want to do with my pavilion?” asked the dragon, a small trickle of flame escaping from her mouth, around 2 inch razor sharp fangs.
“Er, er, ah…nothing. Nothing,” squeaked Jnrmcs. “Sorry Rai, didn’t see you there aha. Ahh, right yes. Have to go now. Enjoy.” He backed away with a fixed grin on his face, turned around, rolled his eyes and exhaled massively.
Rai looked at him for a moment thoughtfully, before settling down again behind the trees.
“Okay then. Raft is out” said Muaddib. “Anyone else have any bright idea?”
“It’s about time we used some magic,” Smee rolled up the arms of his jumpsuit in a business like way. “What are we here? Bloody commoners? No offence Cyborgninja.”
“++Bleep++”
“Right then, IM, a hand please?”
>>
“Emerald Eyul here viewers, just reminding you that the first vote for who to horribly eliminate will be coming up after this round, so get ready to dial Chinaren’s hot hot hotline number and submit your vote when the time comes.”
“Now then, back to the action of Team B, or is it Team A? Ah well, you know what I mean…”
>>
Smee and IM splashed out to a clear area, which was unfortunately also knee deep in water. A technical magic discussion followed.
After the other three had pulled them apart, and Smee and IM had wrung out their clothes, Smee turned back to IM. “Okay okay. A summoning it is then, but a fireball has always been good enough for me.”
IM turned to the others. “Better stand back, we are about to unleash magical forces beyond the ken of common folk.”
“Come on, better get clear, don’t want to be caught in the blast when he casts a spell wrong again,” said Muaddib. “Took me months to get rid of the fish smell last time.” He turned and trudged back to higher ground.
“The spell was faulty!” shouted IM to his back. “Hmff.”
“Concentrate now,” said Smee, and started to incant before IM could object. “The dance! The dance of Summoning!” he gasped, between magical words.
“Bah! I still don’t see why you always insist on this” muttered IM, but started to gyrate wildly, thrusting his pelvis forward in a fine imitation of Michael Jackson before he turned white.
Smee gesticulated wildly, and a green haze began to form around the puddle. Muaddib, Jnmrcs and the cyborg backed away.
“More power! More power!” Shouted Smee desperately.
“I’m giving it all she’s got! Anymore an’ she’ll blow!” gasped IM, doing the Time-warp.
“Damn it man! Call yourself a wizard!?! Put your back into it!!” Smee shouted from an ever growing circle of magical energy.
“I canna take it!! It’s overloading!” yelled IM back, resorting to the Lambada, double time.
“###############**” shouted Smee and thrust his hands skwards.
There was a sudden silence. IM fell backwards into the mud, exhausted.
“Did it work?” asked Muaddib, from behind a bush.
“I can’t see anything” said Jnmrcs, from behind Muaddib.
Smee looked around and then squinted off to one side. He walked hesitantly into some bushes in the opposite direction.
Silence.
A low, well, rumble wouldn’t be the word for it really. Slimble? Tough one.
There was a shout, it sounded like a scream getting slowly louder, which it was.
Smee burst back through the bushes and managed to yell something about ‘…coming!” before he tripped and landed face first in the muddy puddle.
IM yelled and broke the world record for climbing a spiky tree.
Through the brush came a stampede the likes of which has never been seen before, or since. Giant slugs. Green, brown, gray, all the colors of the swamp, which wasn’t many actually, but then slugs aren’t renowned for their bright sparkly hues.
Sliming at speed they slid through the puddle and straight towards the Little Pink Things, which quivered and then moved towards the feast.
Carnage ensued as the slugs milled around whilst the pink creatures swarmed all over them, causing them to buck and rear, and emit high pitched cries of pain.
Muadibb and Jnrmcs watched in horrified fascination. Cyborgninja beeped.
“Quick! Cyborg!” said Jnmrcs, “Get over there and grab Sorrow!”
“++Bleep++ Command accepted+” it said, and trundled forward through the mass of slugs, now covered with the pink things.
“You know,” said Muaddig conversationally to Jnmrcs, “we could have probably just asked him to go in the first place, the pink things wouldn’t be able to eat him.”
“Mmm” said Jnmrcs thoughtfully, putting a finger to his lips and watching as Smee burst up out of the puddle, covered in mud and slime. “Good point. Still, probably best not to mention that to them.”
He pointed to Smee and IM, who chose that moment to fall noisily out of the tree.
>>
“This is Emerald Eyul again viewers! The second team has, despite all predictions to the contrary, overcome the Giant Slug Eaters and are now heading towards camp 1.
What they don’t know is that the time to vote is upon us! Who would you like to see eliminated from the contestants? Who do you feel should be disposed of in a horrible way?
Please enter your suggestions…NOW”
*Murder by Magic, a great read.
**Magical words of Power, censored for safety reasons. Magic is not a toy kids, don’t try this at home.
>>>>>>
Another short chapter there folks, just to wind this round up.
Now. The time to Choose has come. Competitors, you may make a “plea” in this thread, whether to stay on the show or voted off, it’s up to you. And don’t forget to point accusing fingers and suggest why OTHER competitors should be chosen to be… eliminated!
BTW, Chinaren isn’t a competitor, so sorry, no voting for me!
<<<<<<
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:28 am Post subject: |
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Hilarious chapter. And of course all the slugs were needed...the pinkies would have swarmed CB and crawled right up to Sorrow without that distraction. 
Erm, from which team do we choose someone to mangle? Or does it matter?
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:32 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Erm, from which team do we choose someone to mangle? Or does it matter? |
Sorry: The competitors you can vote for are:
Tiny Stoat, Lordy, Dean, Key, RLZ, Crymzon, Muddy, Smee, Cyborgninja, Jnmrcs, IM, Sorrow.
If those people wish to plead, beg or whatever, please do so! (In character if possible).
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 6:38 am Post subject: |
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Well, I for one want to see what the competitors have got to say for themselves before I nominate anyone.
It stands to reason, of course, that the hamster... I mean mouse... I mean tiny stoat has to stay. She's far too useful - nibbling rope traps, running up trouser legs and generally getting into almost as many crevices as the pink wavy flower-creatures (Eurgh! I really wish I hadn't said that!).
Anyway, moving swiftly on, she's far too invaluable to be voted off. Save our Stoats
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 7:11 am Post subject: |
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KILL LORDY!
Nah, I agree with Stoat. I want to hear people's pleas before they die horribly. :biggrin:
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
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Idea master
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:21 am Post subject: |
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Well now, you have to keep me and Smee. After all, we just provided a wonderful distraction by summoning a whole lot of slugs! Plus you may get to see a few more magical mishaps in the near future. I loved the whole 'That spell was faulty!' line. Brilliant work, China, keep it up.
Oh, and...
###############!
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...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:56 pm Post subject: |
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(In character huh? I'm afraid my keyboard doesn't have the correct sysmbols, so I'll have to do it in English)
*Walks up to the camera, and unfurls his wings*
"It is without a doubt that I am - bar none - the greatest daemon on this show. My power is absolute, and with the challenges increasing in difficulty, the teams will no doubt need my awesome abilities to survive. In my opinion, it is none other than Sorrow who should be departed, for no reason other than it is always Sorrow who is forced to leave first - it's a well known fact.
Plus, if people vote for me I'll be able to see - due to the handy invention of the poll - and I know where you all live. Nobody want's an angry daemon turning up on your front door."
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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Nice chapter I liked it !
Even when I made... I mean, it was funny
Ok, I now that... mmm. Ok, I didn't know about the dragon she was in camouflage. But it was a good idea. So we need to vote for people who doesn't have any idea or even worst the ones who get us in more problems. So far I'm helping so much... well at least some of the readers laughed
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:44 am Post subject: |
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Well our poor mayor has something horrible happen to him in every tale just about...everything from feeling sluggish to horrible death. Why should this one be any different?
But just look at that smug demon, trying to threaten the viewing audience at home.  Now there would be a spectacular mangling to behold, indeed.
And that wee little ermine- reminds me so much of a cute little mousey wousey. I'm sure the show could arrange for a suitable slaying. Just pretend she's a Christian and throw her in an arena full of kitty cats. I might like to see that too. :mrgreen:
Ahhh, decisions, decisions.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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I'm leaning towards getting rid of Key, now that I think about it. No reason. Except:
He Stole my cream-cakes!!!!
As I said, no particular reason at all
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Very hard people here
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 4:38 am Post subject: |
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Right, the poll won't let me put up all the names up* in one go, so I will do them in teams.
Please vote for the elimination of a team A member!
*Though it only tells you when you hit submit, and not when you are adding the options. Grrr.
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 4:48 am Post subject: |
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I want to see the demise of the demon. 
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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