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Solomon Birch
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 Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 3:16 pm Post subject: The Voyage: Chapter 9; the end of The Voyage! |
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Greetings fellows!
I came up with the idea for this story while reading William Golding's To the Ends of the Earth, and thought what a different but still disturbing place a ship at that time (the late 1800s) to set a horror story.
I've tried to make it sound as realistic as possible, so bear with it.
Also, this chapter doesn't have a descision point, as I can't really work one in until later, but the following ones will definitly have them.
Any feedback will be really appreciated, especially if people don't like it, as i'll totally understand, as it's an odd concept.
But it was hard to word correctly, so be nice, please 
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Last edited by Solomon Birch on Thu Jun 01, 2006 2:46 am; edited 24 times in total
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 3:17 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, here we go...
The Voyage: Chapter One
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My first voyage on the open ocean occurred during the years 1887-90. It was an inconsequential voyage, departing from familiar old Plymouth to what then seemed at the time like a distant, and rather unfriendly, destination. Australia was not known for its pleasantries, full of convicts, savage natives and other undesirable riffraff.
But the voyage was pleasant, with little ill weather to speak of, and good company for much of the voyage. I delighted at seeing many strange and exotic places; India, for example, where we stopped off in Bombay, was one of the most delightful periods of my hitherto depressingly dull life. The sights, sounds, and I daresay, smells, of that most unusual of places were a delight to partake in, and someday I wish to return and make a good attempt at divining the wonders of that extraordinary corner of our magnificent empire.
Our arrival in Sydney was most welcome, for we had been at sea for a good month and a half, and had had no contact with civilisation for too long. And my preconceptions about the place were misplaced, let me tell you. I was told that the convicts were not free to roam willy-nilly, as I had been led to believe. The scenery was spectacular, although the heat was quite stifling. And I found the natives rather charming, nothing like the devils in Africa that we British schoolboys were brought up to fear and, to some extent, revile.
Anyway, back to the story. I greeted my dear uncle Sir Neville Lightfoot on the docks upon my arrival, and it was a joy to see him since it had been many years since I had last been in his most affable presence
“William, my dear boy! My heart glows at the sight of you. It has been, what….”
“14 years uncle, and it has been too long”
“Well, just look at you! Splitting image of your grandfather, god bless his soul, and none the worse for it, if you don’t mind me saying. Ha! You must be fending the women with a mug like that, am I right?”
“I wouldn’t go that far uncle, but yes I do have my fair share of admirers.”
“I bet you do! Ha! Well, you must be exhausted, let’s get you and your things to the house, shall we?”
As you may have been inclined to notice, my uncle is rather a brash fellow, fond of loud remarks and a bit of good old ‘Wot-Wot’ and all that. The house was pleasant, sitting astride a beautiful hill overlooking the harbour. My Uncle was a very attentive host, and we journed out most days. We even went it to that queerly named part of the interior known as 'The Bush'. I began to aid him in his duties as a lawyer, as that was the reason for travelling such a distance. I must admit, that I found the work tedious, and although I had promised to stay and work with him for at least a year, I reasoned that he would see my restlessness and allow me to seek employment of my choosing, to my liking. I had stayed for many weeks, growing rather fond of the place in the meantime. But on the night of my 33rd day in Sydney, my Uncle made the proposition that would bring about all the ruin and misery that has confined me here to this day. I was condemned as a madman. But I tell you, every ounce of my story is true, and though at the end you may also deem me insane, I would thank you from the deepest recesses of my heart for letting me tell it.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Last edited by Solomon Birch on Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:27 am; edited 4 times in total
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Is this a storygame, linear story or an attempt to earn fables. Personally I think it shouldn't be the last because it was well written and interesting for a first chapter.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 12:50 am Post subject: |
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it will be a story game, i just didn't have any choices to make at this point. the next chapter hopefully will.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:22 am Post subject: |
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I look forward to it. The atmosphere of the prologue was great. 
Good work, Solomon!
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 5:53 am Post subject: |
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| It was a very nice start, I hope to see the next chapter...
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 5:57 am Post subject: |
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<presses function key5> I agree with Stoat.
Yes, good start! An initial 'prologue' or 'introduction' is acceptable I would say, before venturing forth to the meat of the tale.
Tally ho!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 6:04 am Post subject: |
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Thanks guys. Yeah, I seem to have done this 'introductory' chapter with both my stories. Don't know why, maybe because it sets the scene without imposing on people to make a descision from the off.
But it's probably cos' im lazy.... 
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 6:13 am Post subject: |
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| chinaren wrote: | <presses function key5> I agree with Stoat.
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You know... now that I come to think of it... I'm not in Good v evil v money any more... and you never were, Chinaren. So, it might be worth a bid for my late entry, with you as the loyal sidekick, saying "I agree with Stoat!"
(ROFL)
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 7:26 am Post subject: |
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im gonna post the next chapter in a while, as this one doesn't have a descision point but this one hopefully will.
people can just read through the last one on to this one
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 9:10 am Post subject: |
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Ok here we are.
The Voyage: Chapter Two
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Now, as I was saying, my Uncle proposed a rather exciting expedition. He had listened to my ramblings about the wonders of the Indian sub-continent, and must have noticed my distaste for the clerical work that I pursued with him. He therefore proposed that I join up with an expedition that was leaving for South America
“Now my boy, I recall you telling me about the wonders you witnessed in India. Well, i’ve decided that as you are clearly, and understandably bored with the clerical work, no no, don’t apologize, it’s not for everyone. A friend by the name of Alfred Deadlock is preparing an expedition to the heart of the South American continent. He goes in the hope of discovering some fabled treasure, or city or lost civilisation, I don’t pretend to understand. And I suggested to him that you might come along. What do you say to that, eh?”
“Why, uncle it’s, um, very pleasing. Yes, it sounds absolutely perfect. I was so tired of poring over all those depressingly trivial legal disputes. I would love to journey to that most exotic of places. Why, I may even visit the United States! It would be my utmost pleasure to accompany the esteemed Mr. Deadlock on his voyage.”
“Well then, it’s settled. He leaves in two days, so you best prepare. Get some rest now my boy, for it will be lacking on that voyage.”
And so, I prepared to leave my sheltered, but oh so dull habitation in Australia, bound for our colonies in the Caribbean, and then on to the interior of the continent itself. My uncle arranged for oilskins, a large water-proof trunk and numerous volumes to keep me occupied on the extremely long journey. I bid farewell to my uncles servants, who had treated me impeccably since my arrival, and left the majestic house overlooking Sydney harbour. I would miss my time in Australia, and the events on that loathsome voyage, that would haunt me for the rest of my days, would make me wish that I had never left its pristine surroundings.
So on the morning of the 12th January, my uncle took me down to meet with Mr. Deadlock. As we approached the docks, I inquired of my uncle
“So, which ship will I be sailing on then uncle?”
“That one my boy, the Umbra Turba. One of the fastest ships around. Mr. Deadlock purchased it from the navy after the war with France. Beautiful ship.”
“It certainly is uncle. Oh, is that Mr. Deadlock waiting by the gangplank?”
“The man himself!”
Now, I’ve encountered many unusual and eccentric fellows in my lifetime, but Mr. Deadlock makes the rest look tame in comparison. As a child we heard tales of pirates and rogues who sailed the Caribbean seas. Well, you could describe Sir Deadlock as among that devilish bunch. He wore a wide-brimmed hat, with none other than a white feather in it, and he had a long pink scar that ran from the top of his right cheek, through the mouth and onto the left side of the neck. When he smiled as we approached, the ragged lips on either side of the deep scar pulled the wound taught, making his face seem almost liquid and melted. His voice boomed across the docks, drowning out the calls from the gulls and other sailors
“Is that the boy Neville? Has he the strength to join us on this voyage. He looks a little spindly….”
“I assure you sir that I am in no way spindly. I will be an asset to you and your crew on this voyage!”
“Ha ha! Calm down sir, I was just having a little joke! He is fiery though isn’t he Neville. Welcome aboard! I’ll show you around the fastest ship from here to the West Indies!”
The Umbra Turba was indeed a marvellous ship. It was much smaller than the hulking behemoth that I had arrived in Australia aboard, but still a large sea-going vessel. The main deck was accommodating enough for dozens of occupants. A stairwell in the centre led down to the crew’s cabins, mess hall and a dining room for the captain and his ‘mates’. Then on the upper deck their was the captain’s cabin and a few more rooms, one of which I would be occupying, then, in the hold there were storage rooms, for food, repair equipment and other tools, and the few arms we had brought for our arrival in South America, just in case. There was also much free room in the hold, which Deadlock explained was for the valuable cargo he hoped to obtain when we located his ‘elusive’ prize.
So on that day, we set off from Sydney. This leg of our journey would be the longest, taking almost 4 months to complete, even on a ship as fast as the Umbra Turba. I would have to amuse myself with the tomes my uncle had given me, and with conversing with the friendly crew.
On the evening of the fist day, the crew was in high spirits, and were drinking in the warm moonlit evening atop the main deck. I had been invited to dine with the captain in the dining hall on the lower deck. It was already quite late, but both the captain and I were not feeling particularly hungry. The meal was exquisite (for that of a ship, I mean, as it is very hard to prepare quality meals aboard a moving vessel), far removed from the turgid slop they gave out on my first voyage. We conversed about our destination, and I discovered that this was not the first voyage that Captain Deadlock had undertaken, and the scar on his face was from a Spanish sabre, when they had been attacked by a drunken regiment of soldiers near Campeche, in the Yucatan. His men had dispatched the rowdy soldiers, as they far outnumbered the Spaniards. His men had thought him dead, as he was unconscious from the blow, and only awoke when they were about to bury him! Well, I must admit that despite the tales obvious exaggerations, I was intrigued by this mercenary life of adventure, and could barely suppress my desire to get to our destination and personally dispatch some filthy Spaniards.
After the meal, I headed back to my cabin on the upper deck. I had just dressed in my night-shirt and was preparing to read a chapter from one of my uncle’s dusty tomes, when I heard a faint cry, like that of a child, from a cabin further along the passage. Now I knew that there were no children aboard, so dismissed it as a sea-bird or some other such creature, and continued reading. A little while later, however, and I heard the cry again. This time it sounded strained and almost in pain. Then, I just found it acutely annoying, and could not decide if I should just wait to see if the shrill cry would cease, or go and investigate. I could also wait for the captain, to see if he knew anything about the disturbing sound.
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What should William do? Just ignore the cry, or go and see what it is? Or should he inquire with the Captain to see if he has any idea about the noise?
I'll put a poll up soon, so until then ideas will be appreciated!
Thanks! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Last edited by Solomon Birch on Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:32 am; edited 8 times in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 9:32 am Post subject: |
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Good start to the story. Very descriptive!
I want to see what's making that noise. I think we should just go and investigate it, because if the captain is up to something underhanded, we don't want to let him know that WE know about it.
We can always tell him later... 
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 10:37 am Post subject: |
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Very nice chapter...
We have to see what it is but it's always recommended to tell the captain. As Shady Stoat said, later but we have to tell him.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Shady Stoat wrote: | | chinaren wrote: | <presses function key5> I agree with Stoat.
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You know... now that I come to think of it... I'm not in Good v evil v money any more... and you never were, Chinaren. So, it might be worth a bid for my late entry, with you as the loyal sidekick, saying "I agree with Stoat!"
(ROFL) |
 Not a bad idea. However, you were never really in GvEvM, just a cousin of yours. I do have plans for your appearance though! Mwahahahahaha! 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry! You posted the second chapter between me hitting the REPLY button (yesterday) and the SUBMIT button (this morning)
Good chapter, I voted and... <presses function key5> I agree with StoatI agree with StoatI agree with StoatI agree with Stoat <arg! Desperately tries to un-jam the F5 key...>
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Shogun
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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I voted to ask the captain, you might need some help with whatever it is. Nice chapters!!! :biggrin:
_________________
I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Black Widow
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 4:06 am Post subject: |
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See what it is, see what it is!
And so help me god... if someone doesn't die there will be TROUBLE, you hear me?! TROUBLE!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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Right, iv'e had plenty of votes, so the new chapter will hopefully be up tomorrow.
But keep postin and voting in the meantime 
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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Nice start
Very enjoyable to read. I too voted to investigate.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:06 am Post subject: |
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Ok, im gonna write the chapter right now, so if anyone wants to vote, they better soon, although it's pretty unanimous at the moment.
And sorry to anyone who doesn't get to vote, but that's how it goes
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:52 am Post subject: |
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Right, heres the next chapter.
The Voyage: Chapter 3
-----------------------------------------------
Angered at the noise from down the hall, I decided to investigate the shrill crying that had begun to put the chills on me, its unceasing wail making my hairs stand on end. I laid down the book upon the hutch next to my bunk, which was scarcely more comfortable than a coffin, and just as cramped. I stepped into my shoes, pulled on my overcoat, for the night air was much cooler that the balmy humid temperatures of the daylight hours. I opened the cabin door and was stunned at the darkness of the hallway. The soft rocking of the waves against the ship mixed with the thick, almost viscous darkness made the situation much less desirable than I had hoped. I stepped back into my cabin and picked up the oil lamp, which I had lit to provide a source of light by which to read, hanging from a bolt above my bunk and stepped back into the hall.
The lamp did little to dispel the near-impenetrable darkness that filled the cramped corridor, but at least I now had some sense of where the damp floor met the walls. The wailing was coming from the starboard end of the hall way, away from the exit onto the upper deck. I hesitated, now thoroughly disturbed, contemplating going and inquiring with someone, but thought to myself
“Now William, come on. We don’t believe in ghosts now do we?”
I resolved to proceed with my plan of action and continued to walk very cautiously towards the offending noise. I passed a number of unoccupied cabins, probably 4 in all, before I came upon the one. The door was slightly ajar, with a little crack between the frame. Strangely, it was not rocking to the motion of the waves, as all the doors I had observed on the ship did when left open on the open sea. In fact it was alarmingly motionless. A faint glow came though the opening, and I began to get very scared. I knew the only other person who was staying in this part of the ship was the captain, and he was in the hutch to left of mine, the furthest away from this cabin. And I knew that he was on duty at the moment, probably at the helm. A chill sweat was forming on my brow, and I lent towards the door in an attempt to push it ajar.
Then the moaning suddenly turned into a marrow-freezing shriek that stopped me in my tracks. The air suddenly turned icy, with my thick overcoat doing nothing to keep out the cold. As the cold moved past, the flame in the lantern gutted, flickered and died, despite the covering against such breezes. My nerve finally broke, and I bolted back down the corridor, dropping the lantern, which I heard smashing upon the hard wooden planks. I ran out onto the top deck, the echoes of that cry still ringing in my ears, playing over and over. I dropped to my knees at the top of the stairs leading to the main deck, and fell backwards into my own mind, that damned scream still echoing inside my skull.
I do not remember how long I was unconscious for, but I remember the dreams and nightmares that plagued my fevered mind. I saw the ship burn, the men stripped of their flesh and muscle, just leering skeletons left, hanging from the rigging and the captains yellow bones draped over the helm. I saw a hunched figure, shrouded in a funeral shawl, facing a solitary light in a dark, dripping room. I was stood behind, the figure slowly rocking back and forth. I reached out my hand to pull away the shawl, but as my hand touched the coarse linen fabric the screaming started again and I awoke in a fevered sweat.
I was looking into the nasty yellow eyes of captain Deadlock.
“So, you’ve finally decided to rejoin us have you laddie? Bout’ time to, me and the lads were wondering if you’d decided to sleep the whole voyage. Well then, care to explain why you ran onto the deck in the middle of the night, in naught but your nightshirt, started yelling incoherently and then proceeded to collapse and tumble down the stairs?”
This shocked me, as it sounded completely different from what I remembered happening, but I could have just been delirious. All the same, I had a strange feeling that something was not right about the situation…
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Right. What should William do? He could tell the captain what had happened at the cabin, or he could lie and say he had been feeling ill all day and he must have just been hallucinating. Or he could get away from the creepy captain, and demand to know whats going on. The choice is yours.....
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Last edited by Solomon Birch on Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:38 am; edited 5 times in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 8:34 am Post subject: |
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The atmosphere of this story is terrific! Well done you
I'd keep quiet about what I saw. I don't trust the captain at all, and there's nothing to be gained from tipping our hand. He'll probably just deny all knowledge - or even worse, arrange to have you 'taken care of' because you've seen too much.
Make up a lie to explain the screaming fit - and keep your eyes and ears open for any further information. Eavedrop if you have to - but if you hear the noises again, don't go investigating on your own.
There be scary things on this here ship... 
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 9:48 am Post subject: |
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| I agree with Stoat
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CunningFox
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| Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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Oooh! interesting! I think the other comments aer pretty spot on. is there a poll i can vote in?
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Just browsing, thank-you.
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Chinaren
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 4:36 pm Post subject: |
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Right, got my poll up. Enjoy!
Oh, and let's see if we can't get a tie shall we, as everyone seems to be having a go at that at the moment :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Ties just arn't any fun. Being within one vote of a tie is though
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Chinaren
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:53 am Post subject: |
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| Ingrothechundyer wrote: | | Ties just arn't any fun. Being within one vote of a tie is though |
Yup, they are not fun, but so many people have been plauged with them at the moment i was feeling left out 
Not really.
Anyway, thanks for voting guys, keep it up! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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You definately shouldn't tell him what happened. If he's up to no good, you'd be screwed. If he has no idea what you're talking about, everyone will think you're crazy, and you'll be screwed again. If, however, the captain actually is a "good guy" and knows what's going on too...well, then he'll know you're lying but at least you won't be...well, you know.
By the way, your descriptions really pull you in, setting a great mood for the story, especially the dream sequence. The story itself is quite intriguing too. Nice job!
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:29 am Post subject: |
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Ok, i'll try and write the chapter tomorrow, so everyone hold their breath! *holds breath*
*goes blue*
*goes black*
*dies*
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Last edited by Solomon Birch on Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:56 am; edited 1 time in total
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:45 am Post subject: |
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did everyone who posted vote? just making sure so i can also count people who posted their ideas but didn't get to vote 
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:46 am Post subject: |
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| I voted
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 9:01 am Post subject: |
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| I voted.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, heres the new chapter!
The Voyage - Chapter 4
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As I stared into those awful discoloured eyes, I decided that it was best that others did not know what happened. It was more likely that I had imagined the whole episode, and giving the Captain and his crew any reason to think me less than sane would not be helpful. I resolved to stay quiet, and in my still feverish state managed to utter:
“I....., I had not been feeling well since we started the journey. I must have been feeling sea-sick, as while I was trying to get some rest I felt the need to vomit, and I ran from my cabin to be sick over the side. Evidently I must have stumbled and hit my head on something, as I appear to have passed out. I’m terribly sorry.”
“Quite alright laddie. Most newcomers get sea-sick for their first few days aboard a new ship. Takes some getting used to. You just get some rest. When you feel better, you can come and partake in the joys of the open sea!”
Pleased that my ruse had worked, I returned to my cabin. Although the day had dispelled much of the terror of that night in the hall, I was still apprehensive of returning. Before the night came again, I resolved to inquire with the captain about getting another cabin in another part of the ship. But right then, I needed rest, so I returned to my cabin, securely fastened the door and slumped into my coffin of a bed.
By the time I awoke, it was already late afternoon, and would have been dark in a matter of hours. I dressed and ventured out, the fever having subsided considerably. I found the captain patrolling the main deck, and I ventured over to ask him about procuring another cabin;
“Um, captain, may I have a word?”
“Of course William, feeling better? You look it.”
“Yes, I’m feeling much better thank you. I think I just needed to get used to sleeping in the bunk. I was wondering if perhaps I might be able to move to a cabin among the crew? I feel awkward on my own up near you, and I think it would help me get to know the men.
“Why, that’s a splendid idea! Have a bit of ruff-and-tumble with the lads and you’ll be acting like one of them in no time. I’ll have your things moved at once. I’ll send Bates to be your hand*, he’ll take care of you down there. Will you still dine with me? I have all the best food! Just, er, don’t tell the others that, eh? Our very tasty secret!”
So I moved to a cabin in the lower deck, with Bates acting as my ‘hand’; providing me with anything I wanted, or so the captain proclaimed. I dined with the captain and his 1st mate Trevor Coleridge, who I had not spoken to at that point, a very likeable man, nothing at all like the captain, whose coarseness and informality repelled me. He spoke well and his attire was always neat and clean, which I say is quite an achievement at sea!
“So, young William, may I inquire why you joined up with the Captain’s expedition? We all have our reasons. I’m going because I have heard that some of the women in South America….well, suffice to say we will not be disappointed.”
“Well, I was in Australia working for my uncle in his law firm; the usual tedious clerical work that ‘one must do before one can be allowed greater responsibility’. I was incredibly bored, as one may understand…”
“Oh, I’d never be able to bring myself to work in an environment like that! Too much ink, too much paper and not enough drinking!”
“Yes, quite. Well, as I was saying, I was growing incredibly bored and my Uncle picked up on this. He inquired with Mr. Deadlock about my accompanying you on this voyage, I jumped at the chance and here I am!”
We talked away the evening, until I decided to retire to my new quarters. I bade the Captain and Mr. Coleridge a good night and returned to my cabin. It was smaller than my old one; being designed for the normal crew members, but no less comfortable (if you can call those cabins comfortable). I settled down with Homer’s Iliad and read for an hour before sleep overtook me.
As sleep came, so did the feverish dreams return. I found myself aboard the ship, standing in the middle deck staring out over an endless blue mass that was eerily still and silent. There was no one else around, and the air was chill. I made my way up onto the upper-deck, which was also deserted. I had no intention of entering the passage where my old cabin and….the other one…..were, so quickly made my way back to the main deck, and then into the lower deck. But as soon as I stepped onto the wooden floor, slippery with brackish seawater, a foul stench assaulted my senses. I was sent reeling against the stairs. It was foul, worse than anything imaginable. The thickness of the stench flooded ones nostrils and made them burn with the putrescence. It was all I could do to prevent myself from vomiting. But I didn’t know if I should stay. Foul though the stench was, I was morbidly curious about its source. I could venture further into the crew’s quarters, or the mess hall or the captain’s dining room. Or, I must have been delirious from the fumes to even contemplate such an action, go back and take another look in that room, with the screaming figure rocking slowly back and forth.....
*Somene assigned to assist an important person with lot's of things, e.g. dressing, getting drinks and food, etc.
------------------------------------------------------
Well, there we go. Bit of an explanation and introduction (of new characters) chapter, but I managed to fit in some creepy dream stuff, and a descision point to boot! Any ideas would be welcome, so post away! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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Hmmm.... this is certainly getting surreal. Good... but surreal.
A spooky dream (and are we really sure it's a dream, and not a sleepwalk?) might get us to explore in safety some of the things that would be too perilous to do for real.
I say he should assault the source of his fear and go back into the room with the screaming figure.
Great atmospherics again. Keep it coming Sol!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Shady Stoat wrote: |
A spooky dream (and are we really sure it's a dream, and not a sleepwalk?) might get us to explore in safety some of the things that would be too perilous to do for real.
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Ahhhhh, but are dreams really safer?
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Chinaren
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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Surreal is the perfect description. And yes, that is to be considered a compliment
You'll never be able to master your fear if you don't confront it. I somehow suspect this is more that a dream, but even so, I think you should investigate a bit more.
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 12:26 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, got the poll up, so vote away you happy crazy people! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 12:54 am Post subject: |
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| me three
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 5:57 am Post subject: |
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| me four...
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 8:30 pm Post subject: |
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Option 4 all the way!
<cough> um, yeah...
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 4:31 am Post subject: |
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Ok, thats pretty conclusive I think, so on to the next chapter!
However, as my internet at home has decided to die and it may be a little while (a few days at the most, hopefully) before I can post again, so please dont be alarmed about my absence! See ya soon!
:biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:53 am Post subject: |
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Okay, internets back up and running (as you can plainly see) and I don't have very much to do tomorrow, so hopefully i'll bring myself to write the next chapter.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, here you go!
The Voyage - Chapter 5
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The fumes had begun to make me retch and hurl, and I decided that I had no intention of finding whatever the horrific stench was emanating from. I resolved to face my fears, and decided that confronting the figure in the room. I stumbled back up the ladder to the main deck, my eyes watering from the stinging odour. After pausing for a few moments to catch my breath I proceeded up to the upper deck. As I approached the door to that wretched corridor, the marrow-freezing chill once again swept over my body. I hesitated at the entrance, fear penetrating to my very core. What unknown horrors lurked in that room? I still did not know exactly what was going on; if this was real or not. But whatever it was, something had to be done, or I may never wake up from this hellish dream-scape. Suddenly, there was a piercing inhuman cry from below, and I ran to the rails to see. I looked down onto the main deck and as I did I recoiled in horror. From the hatch leading to the lower deck some unimaginable horror was shambling. Its form was that of a huge hulking man, but the skin was bloated and yellow. Its, for lack of a better word, head, was like that of a huge fly, with bulbous eyes glistening and dripping proboscis slithering in and out of its tube-like mouth. Its ragged arms hung down to the floor, and trailed behind it as it shuffled toward the stairs leading to the upper deck! I panicked, unable to discern a route by which I could evade the blasphemous horror that was slowly and terribly heading for me. The only way I could go would be into that blasted corridor.
I fled into the imperceptible darkness, concluding that any disturbing being in that dripping room could not be as terrible as that shambling horror outside. I ran to the door of my old cabin, and wrenched at it with all my might. But it did not budge; locked tight from the inside. By now I could hear the terrible lumbering footsteps coming up the ladder to the upper deck. I frantically tried the captain’s cabin door, which was also locked fast. The beast was onto the deck outside now, its heavy steps clearly audible now. I ran down the corridor, trying every door as I went. But as I feared, none would move. As I reached that last door, I could hear the fiend at the doorway. In a last vain attempt, dashing all previous fears about the place, I tried the door. It slid slowly inward, and I followed it, slamming it shut even before I had turned around. But as I closed the door, I felt the warmth of the sun on my back, and I heard the cries and calls of the crew. I turned around and was shocked to find myself standing in the middle of the main deck. That room, the creature, all had vanished as if nothing had happened. Almost sick with relief, but at the same time I was disturbed. What was happening on this voyage? What was happening to me?
As I stood bewildered, one of the crew ran up to me, a young cabin boy called Nathaniel, I believe.
“Sir, Sir, have you heard?”
“Heard what boy?”
“The Captain, Sir, he’s dead!”
“What? How on earth could that happen? You better not be lying to me boy?”
“No Sir, Bates found him this morning. In the mess hall Sir, slumped on the table. All dried out, like he’d been dead weeks. Stench was awful, Bates said e’ almost fainted.”
The colour drained from my face, and sweat began forming on my brow. How could this be?
“You alright Sir, yor’ lookin’ a bit pale?”
“No no, I’m fine. How terrible. What on earth happened? Does anyone know?”
“Well, Terry said it was witchcraft, but we all know he’s a wan…er, sorry Sir, getting carried away. Mr Coleridge has asked if you would mind talking with him? He’s in the Captain’s mess hall.”
“Thank you Nathan. Go tell him that I will come to him immediately.”
“Very good Sir, thank you sir.”
As he ran off, I paused a moment, to ponder my next course of action. Undoubtedly, my dream had something to do with the captain’s unfortunate demise, but should I tell the new acting Captain Mr Coleridge about my ‘premonition’. It would be a long shot for him to even believe the tale, and even if he did, would he not deem me mad or heretical. I would have to choose quickly…
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think he should tell the new Captain about his dream, or about the original sighting. It would do no good and make him think of you as disturbed. Maybe even get you hurt or killed the next time something bad happens to one of the crew.
Tell him nothing, but try and hang around the rest of the crew a little. Pick up any gossip, talk to people who seem quiet or uneasy. See if you can find yourself a potential ally who could back you up in the future.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:11 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree with stoat
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 7:22 am Post subject: |
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Merry Christmas everyone! And a happy new year! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 8:23 am Post subject: |
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Ok, after reading through my last chapter, I wasn't too pleased with how it came out.  I promise to work much harder on the next one.
Please don't hate me.......
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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| Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:20 am Post subject: |
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| I love your chapters, including the last one. We could do with more gothic horror on the site, and your story is very stylish and descriptive. Don't be disheartened, we still love you (or at least like you a lot)
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:22 am Post subject: |
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Okay, I admit it, the last post was me.
*chants 'must remember to log in' repeatedly to self*
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 4:28 am Post subject: |
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Ok then. Thanks Ms. Stoat.
And I hate you too Lordy :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, im sorry it's been a while since my last post here; the combined battle charges of christmas and new years, then doing my linear story (which I suggest you read ) took up my time. Hopefully I'll get a chance to write it up tomorrow, if not then definitely friday.
See you then my IFian chums!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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Wait, I need to poll 1st, sorry.
Off I go.....
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:07 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, people should be able to vote quickly, as I wrote the last chapter a little while ago.
Well, get to it...... 
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Chinaren
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 8:59 am Post subject: |
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Ok, I've gotten my stories stickied, so get posting peeps! When I do the next chapter that is, lol.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 11:39 am Post subject: |
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Only 4 votes......
Ah well, I'm busy this weekend, so if people hurry and post their vote (cos' the poll has expired) then I'll include it when I get down to writing the next chapter.
So get voting folks! Please 
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Smee
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| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Sol.
I think for the first time ever there's a nominated story that I haven't even looked at, let alone post. I usually get in there somewhere. 
I don't know how it's slipped me by for so long, but I'll soon rectify it and start catching up tomorrow - I'll be joining in soon.
Happy Writing.
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:00 am Post subject: |
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Hey Sol,
Well I enjoyed my lunch whilst catching up.
I must say, I do like your style of english in this story. I guess the formal language just appeals to me, but it is very nice to read.
However, I've chosen a pretty bad time to join in - what a tricky decision point.
I think he should keep quiet for now - if something else odd happens then hopefully someone else will notice and he won't be the only 'crazy' one.
Keep it coming,
Happy Writing.
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Araex
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:03 am Post subject: |
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Hiya...
Awesome story... love the style, and the description, and like Smee I really enjoy the way that the story is seen through the boy's eyes [I can't remember his name... do we know it?], and the way that our perception of the world is changed through his eyes, like a lense almost.
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There are a few points that confuse me, particularly in this most recent part: the shambling horror was seen in a dream, then we went into the room and found ourselves awake on deck?
Or have I got this wrong...
Another thing, from chapter 3/4?:
"1st mate Trevor Coleridge, who I had not spoken to at that point, a very likeable man, nothing at all like the captain, whose coarseness and informality repelled me. He spoke well and his attire was always neat and clean, which I say is quite an achievement at sea!"
You make him sound attractive, and the two converse easily, yet you say that we're repelled by him. Was this a mistake... or are the two so alike that they are apart?
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Anyhow... my current thinking is that Coleridge is a sorceror... he would have a cabin near the captain, and could summon this shambling demon. Therefore, I vote we don't tell him jack, as if he knows we know, we'd be in "big doo doo dis time."
Araex
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:16 am Post subject: |
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Ok, to clarify on the points Araex got confused on:
- All of this was a dream. The point at which he wakes up is after he has closed the door in that room (which he entered in the dream state) and then turns around. He hasn't really been in that room, just in his mind, and in fact he had been sleep walking, and ended up in the middle (main) deck.
- And on the 2nd point, I actually said the captain's "coarseness and informality" repelled him, not the 1st mate.
Hope that's clarified your concerns Araex. Don't hesitate to ask anything else, I'll answer them as best I can.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Araex
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| Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:38 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for that... it was really the sleep walking bit that got me all confussled.
However: In that case, we've already established a relationship with Coleridge, and he seems quite a nice guy. Therefore, maybe we should come out with the truth and tell him.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, the majority appears to have gone for keeping schtumm, so I'm gonna get down to writing the chapter tomorrow.
If anyone else wants to get thier opinion in, there's still time! Post it and I'll look at it before I get onto the writing the chapter.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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I was so certain that I had voted for this, but apparently I didn't. <Runs around screaming, "I'm losing my mind ARGH!">
Anyways...hurry with the next chapter! I'm glad the last option won. Keep it up!
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 7:24 am Post subject: |
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Sure thing Dragon, lol!
I'm gonna get writing the chapter now folks!
And I'm going to try really hard to get my paragraph spacing as user friendly as my brain will let me!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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Right, here we are; new chapter my luvlies
The Voyage - Chapter 6
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Deciding that the best course of action would be to keep quiet about my… for lack of a better word, premonition, I gathered myself up as best I could and proceeded to the Captain’s dining hall.
The first thing I noticed as I stepped down into the lower deck was that eye-burning stench. It stopped me in my tracks, and I wondered how Deadlock’s body could make such a disgusting odour after being dead for such a small time. I strode into the dining room and discovered Coleridge slumped over the table in the centre. Fearing the worst I ran to his side. Then I noticed the empty whisky bottle lying on its side next to the drooling fools head.
Shaking the drunken man violently, I eventually managed to elicit a response from him despite his induced stupor
“Coleridge you fool! Wake up!”
“What…. Leave me alone! I’m the captain now….” Mumbled the intoxicated former 1st mate, spittle flying from his reeking mouth. Finally losing my temper, I seized the empty glass bottle and smashed it on the wall behind Coleridge!
Shards of glass falling to the floor, I dropped the broken bottle neck on the table and approached the stirring Coleridge. The side door slammed open, and Bates ran into the room
“Sir! What happened? Are you ok?”
“I’m fine! The bottle rolled off the table and hit the wall. He’s the one we should be worried about” I said, indicating the again unconscious form on the table.
“Yes, he does seem to be taking Captain Deadlock’s death rather badly. Can’t blame him though can you; what a nasty way to go….”
“Where’s the body now Bates?” a demanded of the man, eager to get some information about the occurrence from someone.
“When Coleridge found him this morning he got some of the other sailors to wrap it up in an old sail-cloth and toss it overboard. The smell, Sir, it was so bad. We couldn’t have kept it. Imagine finding that Sir; it was all dried up and crus..”
“Yes Bates, thank you. Nathaniel, the cabin boy, told me. Did anyone examine it though? Surely there was some indication to what had happened?” I inquired, hoping that someone on this ship had the sense to examine the body, no matter how bad the smell was. But my hopes were misplaced; the only one on this ship who had any sense, besides me, was the captain. And he was dead
“No Sir, the smell was so awful they just carried the body off and tossed it over the side. Then Coleridge ordered the room scrubbed and that he wanted to be left alone. So we did. Can’t argue with a superior officer can you, Sir?”
“No, Bates that is something you cannot do. Now, go and find something that should wake up Coleridge over there”
“Yes Sir, right away!”
After my ‘meeting’ with Coleridge, I began feeling the fever returning. Terrified that the dreams, if that was what they were, would return, I had Bates make me a laudanum* mixture that would help me to sleep deeply and without the disturbance of those darkly vivid nightmares that have plagued me so much recently. Reading a little Shakespeare to help myself get off to sleep, I then proceeded to drink down the painfully strong mixture and lay down to rest. I was immediately thankful for the dulling sensation that the laudanum created, for I immediately began to feel darkness closing around my mind.
Green haze fogged my vision. My head felt like the ship’s waterlogged hull; constantly battered by waves. I stumbled around in the dark, trying to find something to get a hold of, to stop myself from falling. But my hand touched only air, and I slipped to the floor. Except there was no floor to fall towards, and I continued to tumble into the darkness.
Landing on something soft, I assumed I had fallen back into my bunk. I tired to open my eyes, but as I did, sharp light flooded in and I shut them tightly again. No longer sure if I was even in my cabin, I felt around, trying to discern where on the ship I was. My fingers closed around a small metal object, cold to the touch, that lay to my right.
Then, from above, I heard a low moan. It was carried on the wind that blew around the ship and chilled me to my core. Slowly opening my eyes, letting them get adjusted to the dark, I sat up slowly.
I was in the ship’s hold! There were lanterns sitting on benches and tables all around; dozens of them, that brightly lit up the large space. I looked down to see one of the pistols grasped in my hand, its cold steel barrel feeling oddly light in my palm. Standing up, I heard another moan coming from above.
The darkness was thick, but the lantern drew enough of it away that I could still see my way. Another moan, this time higher in pitch, came from the sailor’s mess hall to my left. I approached the oaken doors, damp with sea water, and slowly pushed one open.
Inside the floor was awash with seawater. It rose above my ankles and the smell of the salt assailed my nostrils, the sharp smell making me gag. Strange that even after all those weeks at sea (not to mention the months spent on my way to Australia), this smell would affect me so….? Trudging down the long hall, I felt something bump hard into my left leg. I looked down, and to my horror saw the body of the adolescent cabin boy Nathaniel. I pushed the body away with my heel, sickened by the corpse of one so young. But as I stepped away, I felt more hard objects push against my legs.
The bulging, pale forms of dozens of bodies, all bloated as if they had lain in that brackish water for weeks. Their blank faces stared up at me, eyes rolled back, mocking me! I pushed away from them, wading forwards.
Suddenly, I heard the strangled moan coming from the store cupboard in the wall on my left. I drew the pistol and slowly turned the handle…
The door creaked open, and the moaning stopped. Shining the lantern into the dark enclosed space, I could make out Coleridge’s pale form. He looked out at me with bloodshot eyes, stark terror registering in his face
“Coleridge! What on earth has happened? Why are all these men dead? What the hell is going on man?” I demanded shakily, his distress making me feel uneasy.
“It was here, William. It was here. You have to help me. Please! It was in here.”
“What was man? Talk some sense! What came in? Did it do this?”
“The thing. Same thing that got the captain. It came in and it got them. Their screams! Oh god… their screams….”
I put the pistol back in my pocket, to stop it getting wet. More that a little disturbed by Coleridge’s ramblings, I grabbed his arm and led him out into the hallway.
This didn’t seem to be a dream again, though it certainly felt like one. Coleridge slumped to the floor against the wall, mumbling incoherently. I needed to decide what to do next. The only other living soul I had found so far had been reduced to a gibbering wreck. Whatever was out there, it was certainly not friendly, and if it could do that to all those men, I did not fancy my chances against it much. Coleridge would be no use, so I led him down to the hold, sitting him among some sacking and lighting a lantern so that he wouldn’t become even more frantic and afraid than he already was. I sat down on an upturned chest to think of what to do next…..
*Narcotic consisting of an alcohol solution of opium or any preparation in which opium is the main ingredient
-----------------------------------------
Ok, there ya go folks! Hope ya enjoyed that! :biggrin:
More open decision point that time, so I'm expecting some truly fantastic suggestions this time !
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Last edited by Solomon Birch on Sat Jan 28, 2006 2:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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you got it done then, and sorted the spacings trouble out as well
there doesn't seem to be much that he can do, other than keep exploring causiously
either that, or try to go to sleep and hope you wake up back in your bed
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, nice new chapter, yay.
One question real quick - is the mess hall slightly lower level than the rest of the level, or was the whole floor flooded? Ugh, floating dead bodies...creepy...what a great story.
Anyway, like Lordy said there doesn't seem to be many options. You could stay there, which would be a waste of time and somewhat cowardly, or you could explore more. I vote for exploring more - but cautiously! Keep to the shadows and silence.
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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Wonderfully creepy, Sol!
Now, my idea may seem completely random and insane, so I thought I'd give it a mention
He has strange dreams, right? What if can defeat... or at least further explore... this creature in a dream state? See if he can help himself to sleep with the aid of our friend laudanum, then try a bit of directed dreaming, maybe?
Now that the twisty idea is out of the way, I'd say make sure your pistol is fully loaded and go down to the original room where you heard the cries
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 2:30 am Post subject: |
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| dragon_fire372 wrote: | | One question real quick - is the mess hall slightly lower level than the rest of the level, or was the whole floor flooded? Ugh, floating dead bodies...creepy...what a great story. |
Well, its none of those. It was just flooded. Cos' that way, it makes less sense, the character starts becoming more creeped out, then the readers start bedoming more creeped out, you can no longer tell if anything is real or not and then boom!
It's just something that is commonly used in many Gothic texts (mainly the older ones, like Frankenstien and Dracula) that helps evoke a sense of unreality, which then adds to the unsecurity of the whole scene, and ultimately the whole book.
Phew! Hope that answered your question! :biggrin:
And very nice idea Ms. Stoat, I was hopeing someone would suggest something like that!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Smee
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 2:38 am Post subject: |
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Hey Sol,
I agree with all the others, good chapter
I like Stoat's idea of some directed dreaming - so far it seems his dreams have been accurate, if rather emotionally intense. Maybe set himself up to sleep somewhere precarious so that if he gets too distressed whilst dreaming he might fall off and wake himself up?
He also needs to quickly establish if the ship is in danger of sinking from the water - if it is then evacuation is a higher priority than anything else. Does the ship have any sort of life raft/row boat?
Happy Writing
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:33 am Post subject: |
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Well, yeah, this seems very unreal, but at the same time it's the first time he's encountered anyone else (Coleridge) and normally he has woken up by now....
And yeah, he doesn't know how he got down into the hold, although there was that bit that definitely was a dream (the green hazed blackness bit) so we can't tell....
Spooky....
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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Changed my mind, i liked Shady Stoats idea
And yes, SB, that answers my question perfectly. Thanks, and keep writing. Great story.
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Araex
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 11:04 am Post subject: |
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Good story as per normal, although I did notice a lot of repetition. I mean, I know awash is a great word, but starting two paragraphs in a row with it is not something you can get away with!
But as to the story itself; very vivid descriptions, I really feel part of it.
I think that we should either search the ship (including the original dark room) or abandon it. But as I think the second would ruin the story; the first it is!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 2:21 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, thanks Araex, missed that one.
Done and done; I think that sounds better now. I'll get a poll up soon.
Thanks for the comments guys! :biggrin: Keep em' coming!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:26 am Post subject: |
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Ok, I'll get a poll up tomorrow, so last time for people to get ideas posted!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Smee wrote: | | He also needs to quickly establish if the ship is in danger of sinking from the water - if it is then evacuation is a higher priority than anything else. Does the ship have any sort of life raft/row boat? |
There are a few lifeboats aboard (enough for most of the crew) but as I said to Dragon, the ship doesn't appear to be taking on water, just the small, odd flooding the in the mess hall.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, poll up, for 5 days, so get voting my devoted readers! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 1:26 am Post subject: |
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Ok, although the poll hasn't quite finished yet, the 3rd option appears to be winning, so I shall start writing the next chapter.
As I don't think I can check it at school (it blocks certain things, Thesopholis being one of them) I'll get lordy to check it for me when it finishes, just to make sure. :biggrin:
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 2:16 am Post subject: |
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| lordofthenight wrote: | | bully - thats salve labour it is |
Salve labour? You mean, he makes you put his moisturiser on for him? Euwww!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 5:13 am Post subject: |
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ROFL! What a funny mistake Lordy, keep it up
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Lebrenth
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:18 am Post subject: |
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Just thought I'd mention that I am also impressed with the language and strong use of surrealistic elements.
I think more knowledge can be obtained through the bodies and our trembling Captain Coleridge. Anything we can learn will be valuable, such as how they died, if it can be determined. Even if we're still in a dream, it could be important.
I'm not for the laudanum. I think it is important to be able to escape the dreams. If we go deeper, we're asking for trouble, since there isn't any apparent benevolent force trying to warn us, or valuable recessed memory to search for, that would make dreaming beneficient. Right now, we're trying to survive. And though it's thinkable that we might do well to go on the offense, making a deeper state a good idea, we're clearly out of our element, and a pistol won't do much good.
Nonetheless, we should try to find another weapon as well. A pistol is only good for one shot (or is it not that kind of pistol?). We ought to have something to defend ourselves afterwards. Even a knife would be nice.
But I think I'm late for the voting and such, so I'll just leave these as happy little side notes.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 6:15 am Post subject: |
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Great comments as usual Lebby, thanks!
The pistols are more than one shot; can't be bothered to think of a make at the moment, but it's some sort of revolver.
And the forced dreaming won, so I'll probably write it up tonite.
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Lebrenth
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| Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:56 am Post subject: |
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How about the "Enfield revolver, circa 1880, the official British Military sidearm"?
(There are a lot of ugly revolvers in this era, but this one looks good to me. Anyway, I just thought it would be interesting to look for a pic of the revolver. I don't mind if you don't care to use it.)
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 4:50 am Post subject: |
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| Lebrenth wrote: | How about the "Enfield revolver, circa 1880, the official British Military sidearm"?
(There are a lot of ugly revolvers in this era, but this one looks good to me. Anyway, I just thought it would be interesting to look for a pic of the revolver. I don't mind if you don't care to use it.) |
That's pretty cool. It'l be something like that Lebby!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 10:39 am Post subject: |
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Right, the new chapter is underway, so as long as nothing comes along tomorrow, I should be finished by then. :biggrin:
Sorry about the long wait, but my numbers of stories has gotten a little nuts, so it's taken me longer than I would have hoped to start.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:34 am Post subject: |
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And I made my deadline! Woo! :biggrin:
Enjoy folks!
----------------------------
The Voyage - Chapter 7
Contemplating the reality of the situation, I could not decide upon a course of action. For all the oddities of my situation, I could not bring myself to believe that this was a dream. The damp, stinking walls, the salt-crusted boards on the upper deck, the soft whimpers and unintelligible mutterings coming from Coleridge’s slumped form. It was all too real. It couldn’t be a dream. If it wasn’t a dream, then I had to go into one, for the sake of my sanity if nothing else. If I could not come to some conclusion about the happenings on this god-forsaken hulk, I would have most certainly lost my mind.
But sleep would not come. I lay among musty smelling sacking for hours, the gentle rocking of the ship doing nothing to help sleep along. Eventually I gave up.
Then I remembered the laudanum that had been so successful in sending me to sleep. A little of that would surely bring about sleep; no matter my bodies own restlessness. Remembering Bates had administered it to me, I decided to head back upstairs to find some. His quarters were among the other sailors, set slightly apart near the captain’s dining hall; so he could better attend to the duties he had there.
Making sure Coleridge was not too hysterical, I drew my pistol and proceeded up the stairs, wary of what lurked in the darkness on the upper decks. The image of the bloated corpses in the mess hall was, and still is, seared in my memory. Whoever, or I thought shudderingly, whatever had killed all those men could still have been lurking, waiting for me to appear, and I did not relish a confrontation.
Now, let me tell you. They keep this cell well lit for a reason boy. Having to go up that half-a-dozen steps was like walking a thousand; the darkness leered and stared, black unseen claws caressing my arms as I fumbled for the wooden handrail. Ever since darkness has held a special sort of terror from which I can never seem to escape. I hear voices in the night. I have learned to tune out their rasping calls, but I know that they are there and that is enough.
As I neared the top of the creaking mountain, the corridor seemed to stretch for miles. I began to doubt the reality of the situation, things seeming drastically different from when I had been with Coleridge. But when I had stood still, taken a cold lungful of air and brought my lantern to bare the darkness was dispelled and things appeared normal again. Well, as normal as they had been since terror had become master of the ship.
I made my way toward the captains mess hall, as that was the fastest way to Bates’ cabin. Opening the heavy door I peered inside. Again the darkness was thick and threatening, so I entered with the lantern held ahead of me like some divine shield and drew my pistol, though against darkness I wonder what I hoped to achieve with it. A small comfort I suppose.
As I entered the foreboding room the voices echoed around me for the first time. Whispers, just on the edge of hearing. Any quieter and they would have been inaudible. But they are incessant; a whispered chattering that drives to the core of my soul to this day. It made me itch, the sounds like little legs pattering across my clammy brow.
As a stood petrified in the darkness, the candle began to gutter and die. Fear welling up inside me, I drew the lantern closer, cradling it in a vain attempt to prevent the disturbing inevitability. With a last sputter the candle that was protecting me from the voices died in my arms. I let out a whimper of fear, my arm shaking so much that I almost dropped the pistol. Throwing the useless lantern aside I heard the small crash and tinkle as the glass broke against the deck. The chattering immediately ceased, giving me a blessed moment of sanity. I scrabbled toward the door way, but found myself at the opening to the corridor to the kitchens and Bates’ cabin. And, praise God, there was a small lantern hanging from a hook set into the wall, glowing weakly, but giving off the brightest, most hope filled light that my spirits were elevated immediately. No longer hearing the whispers I pocketed the pistol and carefully took up the lantern, making sure that the flame was protected.
Walking further down the corridor, I passed the opening to the kitchens. To my horror the smell that had brought with it so much terror and disgust again assailed my senses, causing me to gag and tears to well up in my stinging eyes. It was even more unbearable than before, the stagnant fumes like a thousand bloated corpses. The kitchen seemed to be its source, so I walked past quickly, hand over my mouth and nose, stumbling because of the water in my eyes.
Pushing open the door to Bates’ cabin, I stumbled inside, gasping for air that would not cause my throat to feel as if I had just swallowed an ant colony. I felt scatterings and pattering all across my skin and in my hair, but as I brushed frantically nothing happened. There was nothing there, just goose-pimples from the bitter cold that permeated the ship. Setting the lantern down on the small writing desk set to the right of the door I began searching for some of Bates’ precious laudanum. I needed it. Its wondrous properties flowing through my veins, bringing the sleep that I so desperately craved.
I searched frantically, growing more desperate by the second, until at long last I found a box with odd carvings etched into its lid. Inside was a thin vial filled with the wondrous green draught. Now all I needed was some alcohol to mix it with and I would be free to return to the warmth and brightness of the hold. Remembering that there would be some in the Captain’s dining hall or the kitchen’s, I steeled myself and prepared to search both.
Taking the small vial and slipping it into the breast pocket of my waist coat, I picked up the lantern and stepped into the wretched corridor once again. The smell once again penetrated the flimsy defence my hand provided, but now that I had the laudanum I was determined to use it and shed some sort of clarity on the dire situation.
Entering the kitchen, I placed the lantern on a counter and began searching the shelves and cabinets for some warming port or whisky, or if I must, some foul potato vodka. But as I blew dust off bottles filled with foul smelling substances that meant nothing, I heard a sickening crunching coming from the far end of the lengthy cooking area. Placing the brown-glass bottle down on the worktop I turned and walked toward the source of the eerie sound, the smell growing steadily worse as I approached. As I neared the end I looked toward the floor on the far side of a cupboard set into the centre of the floor.
On the far side greeted me a sight that plagues my dreams to this day. A hunched figure wearing what appeared to be an extremely dirty and ragged cloak sat chewing on a bloody forearm, its bloated form shuddering grotesquely as it bit into the ragged flesh.
Uttering a moan, the hideous thing looked up, and then I realised that it wore no ragged garment. It was covered in a dirty, welt pocked skin the colour of vomit, which hung loosely from its sides. Its thickset, bald head jutted painfully backwards, its chin resting on its collarbones. While it appeared mostly human, the childlike monstrosity had no neck and white unblinking eyes. Short fleshy arms emerged from its foul torso, ending in twisted three fingered hands. Shambling to its feet, it awful bulk began shambling toward me, the ragged appendage still gripped in its hand.
Almost falling backwards with horror, I forgot completely about the pistol that rested heavily in my pocket and ran back toward the exit, grabbing the lantern and the brown bottle as I went. As I left the sickening room, I made one more morbidly fascinated glance at the creature. Its limp jaw slowly opening, the mad chittering whispers once again crept into my head, gnawing at my mind and threatening death, madness, disease, darkness.
Bolting from the room I ran back to the Captain’s dining hall, and then through into the corridor. As I left the dark hall the chattering left me to my own tormented thoughts. My heart threatening to tear through my chest, I flailed down the stairs, only slowing when I was among the light and warmth in the deepest part of the ship. Ironic now if you think about it. The most remote and, normally, the darkest recess of that cavernous ship become my only safe haven from the horrors that now clearly stalked the darkness above.
But it had not been in vain. I had acquired the laudanum and some sort of alcohol (if the revolting smell was anything to go by). I checked that Coleridge was still asleep and rummaged through the crates and chests that littered the hold. Finding a large wooden mug I decanted a generous helping of the foul alcohol into it and then a tiny drop of the green liquid. Sitting among the sacking, I drank the entire concoction down, gagging a spluttering on the strength of the potently alcoholic beverage.
But I could feel its effect immediately, my vision clouding over as I lay my head among the coarse brown bags. A deep sleep soon overcame my consciousness.
As I opened my eyes, I knew that something was different. An obscure green haze blurred my vision, bathing everything in an eerie iridescent glow. I sat up, rubbing my throbbing forehead, again unsure whether I was sleeping or awake. Maybe I had just slept deeply, and was not feeling the effects of such irresponsible substance consumption. But as I stood up, looking around the hold for a sign of Coleridge, fear once again entered my heart. There was no light, Coleridge was no where to be seen and as I scanned the room from left the right the hulking beams the made up the walls of the ship began undulating a twisting surreally, making one feel sick to ones stomach. Gripping the wall, I tried to hold my vision still. Thankfully the world only distorted when I moved my head rapidly, so I could walk normally with the walls staying mostly still as I did. Things were certainly different, so I proceeded toward the stairs, hoping something had changed for the better….
------------------------------
So what should William do now? Coleridge is missing, his vision is messed up, but things have changed. He just can't tell how yet.
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Last edited by Solomon Birch on Sun Feb 26, 2006 7:21 am; edited 2 times in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:04 am Post subject: |
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Yikes! He's not having a pleasant time of it at all!
Very atmospheric chapter again (although I'm not sure whether in-vein was a pun or a mis-spelling of 'in vain'). And he's finally caught a glimpse of the monster - or at least the thing that was crying in the original cabin, I'd assume.
I have a feeling we need to go back and confront the thing. Sooner or later, if we're going to get through this alive, we have to find our way through the heart of the horror. We can check whether we have our pistol in this wobbly dream-state first, though - and if not, we can arm ourselves with anything that comes to hand. Even a bottle of alcohol and a box of matches will do if all else fails, although I don't like the idea of setting a ship on fire. It could be pretty terminal.
Anyway, back to the beast. That's my first thoughts.
Well done for beating the deadline, Soiled one
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:56 am Post subject: |
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| Shady Stoat wrote: | Yikes! He's not having a pleasant time of it at all!
Very atmospheric chapter again (although I'm not sure whether in-vein was a pun or a mis-spelling of 'in vain'). |
Er.... yeah... I intended the pun... but it didn't turn out quite how I'd have liked it....
Nah, I think I was just typing as the filth poured out of me into the keyboard and it just happened...
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Araex
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 3:53 am Post subject: |
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Typo first :
| Quote: | | I have learned to tune out their rasping calls, but I know that they are their and that is enough. |
Right. I'm sure there was another one, but it can go boil itself.
Awesome chapter again: I think our first priority is to find Coleridge. In his maddened drunk [I think... ?] state he could do anything: stumble across the monster; see the bodies; fall overboard; none of which would improve our situation in the slightest.
That completed, I think we must eventually confront the demon-child, so let's ready our pistol, and go monster-hunting!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 7:22 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Araex, typo changed! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Lebrenth
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| Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 11:41 am Post subject: |
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I've been at a bit of a loss. Under the circumstances, we don't really know what's going on. If we're in a dreamstate, finding Coleridge isn't really possible, or at least not the real one, and I don't think I want to find a twisted version of him here.
Exploring is important now. I don't think we're ready for a confrontation. We should look around... I would especially like to see what it looks like outside. There's even a marginal possibility we could get some fresh air too.
But no matter what, we should be extremely careful! And if we do see something, we should attempt to avoid it before we start shooting. We might accidentally kill Coleridge on top of everything else. Especially if Lordy is right about becoming the monster.
Nice visuals, Solomon. I've started studying Lovecraft thanks to you, by the way.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:49 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Lebreneth, great comments as per usual. And I'm glad I've made another Lovecraftian disciple on this site! :biggrin:
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:54 am Post subject: |
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Ok people, I've had a few ideas posted, but I could do with a couple more. If not, then I'll get the poll up tomorrow.
*holds breath* ©
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 8:02 am Post subject: |
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Ok, there's a poll up now, 4 days to vote. Get to it! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 4:40 pm Post subject: |
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Yay, goodly chapter. Intriguing, mysterious...very nice.
Whatever it is you've done to yourself, whether you are awake or asleep, doesn't seem to matter. I expect you can be harmed in either instance. So I'm with the "explore cautiously" group. Stay away from anything that moves - even if it looks like coleridge. By the sound of it you've messed yourself up bad, and your eyesite is only going to be a liability. Keep to the shadows and see what's going on.
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Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 9:08 am Post subject: |
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Ok, option 1 won, so I shall get working on the next chapter soon! Thanks for voting! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, I've started the new chapter. Expect it sometime over the weekend, monday at the latest. :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Araex
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| Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 2:20 am Post subject: |
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| Awesomes.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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Alrighty, I finished this yesterday, but I couldn't post it, be it's here now! (Sorry it's a little shorter than usual, but it was quite an important D-point and it worked like this...)
Enjoy! :biggrin:
-------------------------
The Voyage
Chapter 8
But I soon learned, much to my horror and disgust, that things only seemed to be getting more chaotic. As I ascended the stairs, the shadows cast by some unseen light source began to dance and jeer, the green light pulsating unnervingly at the edge of my blurred vision. I could hear moans and wails, which could have been the wind but seemed, seemed almost human, and they chilled me to the core of my soul.
As I emerged into the long hallway above, the wailing raised to a crescendo of piteous rage that seemed to hammer the ship from within and without, and I almost fell to my knees as I felt my mind and my body shake forcibly with the ferocity of the sound. I gripped a long handrail which ran from aft to stern along the corridor, breaking only when there was a cabin door, or the large double doors of the mess halls. As I passed the crew’s mess, I shuddered, remember what I had encountered in there. But then I remember that Coleridge had run, and that was the room in which I had discovered him. Perhaps, I pondered, he had returned for some macabre reason. But a sudden lurch sent me sprawling painfully in the opposite direction and all thought of venturing into that mortuary vanished as I landed hard on my backside at the foot of the stairs leading out onto the upper deck.
A huge wave of water threw itself down toward my dazed form, and as I looked, time slowed. The howling dropped to a melancholic chorus, the water edged slowly but menacingly toward me down the darkened stairwell, and as I looked into the hazy, distant firmament I saw lazy flashes of lightning tear their way across the heavens, and in that moment clarity, and all the unwanted realisations that it brought, returned. The ship was caught in a storm, with no hands save myself and perhaps the deranged Coleridge to steer her right. The once majestic Umbra Turba, now little more than a huge wooden crypt, was in its last throes of existence, and I would have to do something to stop it, and myself, from being dragged down into the cold black depths below.
As the freezing water washed over me, I once again struggled to my feet and fought my way up the treacherous steps. When I eventually emerged into the windswept gloom of the turbulent night, I gasped in amazement at the colossal flashes raging across the sky. Never had I seen such a ferocious storm in all my life, and its rage seemed almost human, almost vengeful, and I thought despondently, directed at the ship.
I saw the huge washes of water roar over the sides of the ship, and the loose flailing sails which whipped loudly in the abysmal gale that besieged the ship. I called out for someone to help me, though I knew that there was none that would heed the desperate cry. Coleridge, if he still lived, would have been of no use, and for all I knew the rest of the ships crew lay rotting in that god-forsaken mess hall, or in the belly of that grotesque horror which I had discovered in the kitchens. I ran toward the wheel of the ship which was spinning uncontrollably, and futilely tried to get a hold of it, but all I succeeded in doing was causing the spokes to leave a painful gash up my left arm. I left it alone, knowing that nothing could be done there.
The foul green haze still clogged my vision, and I began to become more and more disorientated, the incessant rocking of the ship and that appalling howling never stopping. My head began to spin, and I vomited onto the deck, the last dregs of food in my stomach disappearing over the side with the next freezing wash that swept over the side. I called again to Coleridge, sobs choking my voice. But there was no answer, save the screaming of what I fervently hoped was the wind.
I crawled to the cabins that had been the beginning of all the troubles during this accursed voyage and lay shuddering in the relative dryness of the dark hall. Now there was no moaning to be heard from that end room, though if there had been I doubt I would have heard it above the equally mournful call of the wind outside.
But then, as I sat huddled in a dark corner of that hall, contemplating my imminent demise, the cabin door nearest to me swung open with an audible crack, and out stepped none other than Captain Trevor Coleridge, lantern in hand and a determined look upon his grim countenance. As the light fell upon my pitiful form, a small smile curled the edges of his mouth, and he walked toward me, extending an inviting hand which I took hold of eagerly.
“William! By God am I glad to have found someone else! This storm is huge, and I doubt the ship will survive. In fact I know that it will go under, with no hands to combat the winds and waves. We need to get away! There are lifeboats, enough for the whole crew, but it appears that the others will not be needed. I fear we are the only survivors of whatever happened down in that hold. Can you walk Will? We must make haste and get the boat in the water if we hope to escape. Come!” His voice was strong and encouraging, but I could not get the gibbering wreck of a man that I had happened upon in that mess-hall. His transformation was as immense as the storm that raged outside, but he seemed to have recovered, and I still had no idea how long I had slept after taking the laudanum. I decided that if I wanted any hope of survival, it would increase if I had Coleridge’s aid. So I took his hand, its strong grip locking around my wrist and heaving me to my unsteady feet.
So he led my out onto the deck, and we began unfurling the tarpaulin that covered one of the sizeable lifeboats. It took much longer than we had hoped, as the waves kept battering us about and the wind threatened to tear the cover from out hands at any moment. But eventually it was uncovered and ready to lower into the water using the rope pulleys at its ends. But then I had a realisation. What if we were adrift for weeks? What would we do for food?
“Coleridge!” I yelled, trying to be heard over the wind. “What about food? If we are adrift for.. “ he cut me off
“Good thinking man! I shall go and retrieve some from the kitchens. There should be enough to last a while” But then I remembered the creature that had been in the kitchens. What if it was still there?
“I saw something in the kitchens Coleridge. It wasn’t human. It was… it was eating a crewman. You may want to take this…” I said grimly, pulling the revolver from my deep coat pocket and passing it to him.
“I hope I have no need for it, but thankyou. I shan’t be long, but I want you to leave if I take too long to return. Do not follow. Get away, and do not look back.” With that, he turned and ran to the opening into the lower hall, rapidly disappearing down the steps. I huddled next to the boat and prepared to wait for Coleridge to return.
But he did not return. I waited five minutes. Then ten. After a quarter of an hour I began to worry. The storm was not subsiding, and every time a wave washed over the deck I felt the ship rock further and further to the side. It would not be long before it capsized completely. Then, after I had been waiting for 20 minutes, I heard the distinct crack of a gunshot echoing up from beneath me, audible even over the screaming wind and driving rain.
My heart froze, as I knew what must be happening. Coleridge had told me to get away, to leave him if he was too long. But what if he was alive? And if I left without food…
Another wave battered into the side of the hull, and I knew that time was growing short.
------------------------------------
So what should William do? Go and find Coleridge and bring him back to the boat? Go to the kitchens to grab some food quickly? Or just crap himself, punch the boat in the water and get away...?
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
Last edited by Solomon Birch on Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:49 am; edited 3 times in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 12:12 am Post subject: |
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Excellent chapter, Soily
Coleridge has been gone far longer than he should have been. It would be great to try and rescue him, but I think we have to be realistic. We have to survive.
Food is needed if we're going to live through this. Go to the kitchens and try to grab something. Since that was where Coleridge was heading anyway, you might be able to find and help him. If he isn't there, though, you can't waste time searching the whole ship for him. Just grab the food, run to the lifeboat and get out of there.
If he has survived and you can't find him, remember there are lifeboats enough for the whole crew. He still has the chance to save himself, but you have to be alive to find out whether he does or not
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Lebrenth
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| Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:51 am Post subject: |
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Personally, I don't care what's on board, or what the captain said! I wouldn't get in a tiny boat in the middle of a storm! Not saying being eaten alive is any fun either, but I would hold out until the storm subsided, or at least the waves calmed a little. And without food and water too? No chance! We're in the middle of a humungous stretch of open water with very little hope of seeing other ships or land before dying of thirst on the pitiless ocean!
If it is an option, I say stick it out onboard. I don't trust Coleridge (though the main character does), so finding him might not do much good, but the gun might so I'd go looking for the gun. Finding another weapon, even just something hard to throw or use as a club, would be nice too. And we might as well try saving Coleridge.
(Nice environment. I could feel the horror of the narrator as he realizes the ferocity of the storm and the overwhelming situation. You portrayed the storm vividly).
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Last edited by Lebrenth on Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:00 am Post subject: |
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Yup, staying put is most definately an option, especially now you suggested it Lebby! :biggrin:
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Araex
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:48 am Post subject: |
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Another great chapter. I wonder what happened to our friend el Capitaine? Is he just drunk to the point of fortitude? Or something more macabre... *cue evil eyes*
For the moment I'll say we should go and look, but I'm reserving judgement for someone to say something convincingly persuasive.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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Right, I'm going to Iceland tomorrow, and I'm away 'til tuesday, but keep posting you crazy bunch! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:43 am Post subject: |
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Right, last chance for commenting people, cos I'm gonna get the poll up tomorrow! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 6:24 am Post subject: |
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Right, sorry for the delay, but the poll is up now, so people can vote and then move onto the next chapter. Not long to go now! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Lebrenth
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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Nice Poll, by the way. Well worded and without bias.
When are we expecting another chapter?
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:01 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Lebby. I'll see how the voting looks in a couple of days, and if it's very one sided I won't wait and I'll get started, as it feels like quite a while since I've done a chapter for this. :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:26 am Post subject: |
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Ok, I lied. I sat there for ages last night and tried to think of a way to extend it to at least 2 more chapters, but I thought that it wouldn't work, so here is the final chapter of (this part) the Voyage! I finished a SG! Love me!
--------------------------------
The Voyage
Chapter Nine
As the ship lurched mournfully beneath my shaking legs, I decided that I could not just abandon Coleridge to his fate, nor could I leave when the maelstrom was raging so madly all around. Leaving would be cowardly and foolhardy. The savage wind was rocking the fragile lifeboats violently, and I was afraid one would tear loose and cruse me under its bulk. I moved away from the lifeboats on the side of the ship, and made my way toward the hatch leading back down into the depths of the cursed ship.
Another wave washed over the deck, sending torrents of water after me as I descended down into the black hall, fear and paranoia gnawing at my mind and soul, and infiltrating my interpretations of my surroundings. I saw faces of my family, of the crew, of the former captain, and faces from the darkest recesses of the human mind, creatures that had no decent reason to exist, whether in reality or not, whatever this was.
I managed to stay on my feet, however, and I began to feel my way along the wall. The movements of the ocean were uncomfortably apparent within the belly of the vessel; like the last painful thrashes of a dying bull upon the dusty sands of some roaring Spanish ring, and I felt my head begin to ache. I deeply regretted taking the laudanum, but forced any resignations out of my mind, trying desperately to focus on finding Coleridge and somewhere that would shield me from the worst rages of the tempest above.
Soon I felt my hands caress the jerking doors to the mess hall-turned mortuary. I shuddered as the image of the bodies of the unfortunate crew returned to plague my delirious mind, but I forced myself past them, heading for the Captain’s hall. I heard another foreboding swash roar down the steps to the hall, and I began to fear the worst. Coleridge had been right; I should have just left him and gotten away from the ship before it disappeared to the bottom of the vast ocean, consigned to be the grave of a dozen good men, and a hideous abomination that should never have existed.
The wind howled down from above, or at least what I hoped to God was the wind. I swallowed, trying to get rid of the raw lump of fear that pulsed angrily within my neck, but it achieved nothing. Forcing open the creaking doors to the dining room, I stumbled inside, completely oblivious to my surroundings. The darkness was absolute, which did little to help the already desperate situation. There seemed no hope, just an endless black night with no end in sight; filled with a howling that came from something just beyond comprehension, and the constant damp that pervaded every conceivable space.
A violent shudder shook me from my feet, and I tumbled to the floor, hard. Holding my hands out to break my fall, I felt them make contact with a relatively soft form that was most certainly not the water-clogged oak boards that encompassed the ships floor. It felt like a body, and, after picking myself up from the floor, I moved toward it to determine whether my morbid fear had any grounds within this tumultuous thing known as reality.
But when I apprehensively reached out a hand to feel for the form, I heard it utter a rasping cough.
“William, you fool. I told you to get away….” He trailed off, and began to weep to himself softly. This disturbing sound, that of a broken man who had lost all hope in the world was ended abruptly as another hacking cough tore through his chest.
As the feeling of despair began to creep upon me, I broke the near-silence and asked
“Are... are you hurt Coleridge? Why did I hear a shot? Did you find that…” He cut me off.
“It took my legs William. My legs! I tried to run, but I wasn’t fast enough… I… I feel faint. Can’t remember much. But… you must get away you young fool. Get above decks. This storm will not end until it has dispatched this foul ship to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, where it belongs. You can’t help me now… it took my legs.”
The last few words that I heard Coleridge utter were marred by painful coughs which echoed around the sightless room, returning each time sounding more haunted and mournful than before. Though I could not see his face, I could feel the tears rolling down his paling cheeks, and felt the sticky mess oozing from the lower half of his torso. I bit back a sob, and was about to answer when I heard a cry that began as a low moan, but soon rose to a shrieking cacophony that split my skull asunder and brought back all the grotesque horrors that had assailed me constantly while aboard this god-forsaken hulk. The low cry I had not heard since my first night aboard the ship, and was perhaps the most disturbing of all. That hideous moan, that of a malevolent child, had haunted my dreams, and now had returned to find me.
Thundering footsteps began to echo from the direction of the kitchens and storerooms, and terror clutched at my heart. I stood up frantically and began to search for the doors leading back to the hallway. Shamefully, as I later thought, I spared no thought for the ailing Coleridge, but the sinister sound of the approaching creature assaulted the last vestiges of sanity that remained within my tortured mind, and my only desire was to escape that place, get away from the ship. Away from the nightmares that came to life, leering from the twisting walls, cruelly snatching away the lives of those around me. But not me, I thought sombrely; I still survived.
With this thought in my mind, I found the doors that were lurching to and fro with the motion of the dying vessel, and fell through them. Stumbling along the hall, the floor now awash with the freezing seawater, I tried to move toward the stairs. But through the seawater, I kept stumbling over objects which I could not see or perceive. Once, I fell headfirst over a large thing, my face plunging into the saltwater. I stood, spluttering and disorientated, but I heard the footsteps close behind and I did not pause to see what had blocked my path, though the darkness would never have allowed for such eye-opening clarity when it was trying so hard to do away with me. Even for you boy; there are things that lurk within the shadows that want to see you fail, see you fall, though you are fortunately shielded from the worst of their diabolic powers.
I, unfortunately, was not. Am not. Either it was my mind slipping away even further, or the shadows really were closing in; as malicious, twisted faces peered out from the corners of my vision, and the footsteps grew ever-louder, ever-nearer. But I could see the faint illumination the moonlight was casting down the stairs, and it gave a small vestige of hope, however remote. I plunged forward, trying my hardest to ignore the faces and the footsteps, the angry wail from behind, and the ever-present howl of the wind, roaring above it all, bearing down upon my broken form with all the ferocity of a thousand doomed souls crying out in anguish and abject-fear.
When my shaking hands clasped the bottom step of the staircase, I almost broke down with relief. I forced myself upwards, clasping one rung at a time, not pausing until I had reached the top. I clambered over the threshold and collapsed a few feet onto the deck. The rain lashed down upon my sobbing face, and the wind whipped my hair into my eyes, but the moon was shining at its fullest, and I could see once again. I stood, though almost fell again as the ship plunged horrifyingly to the left. For a moment I feared that a wave had finally toppled the ship, but it stopped short of lurching completely over, and I made my way toward the upper-deck. A tremendous flash of electricity tore across the heavens, splitting the sky asunder for a mere second, and sending a deafening boom resounding off every wave, which came back and screamed into my ears five, six times before retreating. I stopped and stared in awe at the display of power, and cackled manically at the thought of such unfathomable forces which raged all around, answerable to none, save the Lord God himself.
I battled across the deck and made my way to the cabins at the top. The wind and the rain tried desperately to throw me to the floor, but I did not relent. I had decided not to let this ship consume me, not let this nightmare win. The wheel was spinning madly; with no one to guide it the ship was sending itself to the confines of the watery hell below, but I no longer cared. All thoughts of Coleridge and his warnings were forgotten, and I had but one thing left to do.
The corridor was as dark as the jet stone my mother wore at my father’s funeral. No, darker. Much darker. Hers’ was polished to a gleaming sheen, while this was lustreless and thick. I forced my way inside nonetheless, and swallowing again, made my way toward the Room that had begun all the troubles. If it had started the mess that had brought all the ruin and misery to that Voyage, then it must be able to undo what it had done.
I know that those are undoubtedly the thoughts of a madman, but you will forgive me if I state in my defence, in anyone’s defence, that few in my situation would have thought things through clearly. I had imperceptibly linked my unnerving encounter with the rocking figure in the Room to all the other occurrences on the ship, and I do not believe you would disagree that this was a justified move when all other directions of thought had seemed to be exhausted. But, I digress. As I was saying…
I pushed the door inward, the determination within me doing nothing to dispel the terror that that place instilled inside my booming heart, and I was met with the low glow a candle set upon the hutch, across from a radiant door. No rocking figure, no crying child, but a door illuminated at the edges, as if someone was shining a powerful lamp at it from behind, or, if you forgive an old man his superstitions; the warming light that one often associates with heavenly beings. After all the darkness and fear, it certainly brokered a hope that had been sorely lacking for too long.
With the howling wind behind me, and the warming light seeping under the door set into the back wall of the cramped cabin, I approached and pushed at it. It gave, and opened outwards…
But I think that that may be enough for today, lad. I can hear the doctor’s boots clacking toward us on the flagstones as we speak, and I know our time is up. I’m tired, and am sure that you are equally exhausted. We shall continue another day, as my tale is far from finished. Speak with the doctor to arrange another visit. It has been so long since another has listened so intently to my story, at least without thoughts of lobotomy or corrective burn treatment. Good day to you lad, and god-speed. Don’t be afraid; lest your dreams take heed and grow bold in their thoughts and actions. And I think we both know what happens when they do that, don’t we?
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The Voyage's story will continue, but it will be very different, and it will be a while before I start the next part, as I want to try out some other ideas in the meantime, as well as finish some of my other current story's (I for one found that having this many reduced how often everything was updated, and I apologise for that). I hope everyone enjoyed this part, and that they look forward to it continuing! :biggrin:
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Shady Stoat
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Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:45 am Post subject: |
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*blinks* Wow! That was mysterious!
I do hope you return to the story. I hate leaving a tale on parenthises... and I'd love to know what happens next.
Very good atmospherics there, Soily. Thoroughly enjoyable, and you've finished your first part of your first storygame. Woo! Bravo! Kudos! All that jazz!
(not to mention avoiding the taxman's fines)
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Solomon Birch
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Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 1:00 am Post subject: |
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Don't worry Ms Stoat; nought but death will keep my from finishing my flagship IF tale, and I'm glad you liked it!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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dragon_fire372
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Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Posts: 258
Location: Montana
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:44 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, that was sudden. You have a real knack for helping the reader see what the characters do. Looking forward to the next part!
BTW, will it be continued under a name like The Voyage, Part Two, or will it have a different sort of name? I don't want to accidently miss it whenever it gets put up.
Anyway, congrats on a (sort of) finished story!
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Araex
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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I HATE YOU! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO US!
Grrr.
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Lebrenth
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Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah
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| Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 9:27 am Post subject: |
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The story yearns for completion! You're hapless protagonist will be recieving another visit soon, I hope. His descriptions are truly inspired by madness, which is naturally why we're all so drawn to it!
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Welcome To Purgatory - current storygame
Please visit my Library of completed works.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Nice ending to part one. Looking foward to part 2.
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