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Kalanna Rai
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 Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:31 pm Post subject: Charming in Life # 20-Deja Who?---Final Chapter! |
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Charming in Life.
Chapter One: The Angel of Death wears PINK!!!
Charming was THE MAN. He was the guy everybody wanted to be or wanted to be with. He had the looks, the bod, the hair, the attitude, the accent, the way with women, the money, and the title to go with it all...Prince.
It didn't matter that the country he was heir to was so small it wasn't on any map, it was so rich it probably could pay a million dollars a day to stay hidden and nobody would notice the money missing. Yes life was good if you were Charming. Until one fateful day when he decided to go for a drive in his new imported Dodge Charger.
The next thing he knew he was laying on his back in the middle of the road with a beautiful woman staring into his face. Was this a dream? If so then he didn't want to wake up. He let that slow, sexy smile that he always used to charm women steal over his face. "Who are you." He practically purred the words.
A slight smile greeted his words accompanied by a raised eye brow. "You should ask what I am, not who." Now it was Charming's turn to raise an eyebrow, the vixen wanted to play did she? Well he could play.
"Okay I'll bite. What are you?" She shook her head slightly, the silver of her long hair matching the silver of her eyes perfectly. She gave one of those bemused snorts people do when something isn't quite funny enough to laugh at but you had to respond to anyway.
"Not important. It's best to ask why I'm here." Now Charming was irritated. Nobody evaded his answers, he was the prince, and who did she think she was...oh wait. He'd already asked that question.
"I'll only ask the question if you promise to give me a straight answer." Now she gave a much warmer smile.
"Deal."
"Fine then. Why are you here?"
"Ruler." At the striken look on his face, halfway between anger and complete confusion, she burst out laughing. Wiping a tear away from her eye she continued. "Sorry but you asked for a straight answer and...well...my job gets boring after a while. Dealing with dead people never gets any more livening than this." Suddenly her brow furrowed. "You do know you're dead don't you?"
Charming was so stunned he couldn't reply right away. "Oh dear. Poor baby you've got a serious case of denile. I'd better get you to the registration office quick." One moment he was laying flat on his back on asphalt, the next he felt flat on his rear next to the beautiful woman...er make that angel if the silver wings, with feathers like small, sharp blades, the exact shade of her eyes and hair were any indication.
"Wait. If I'm dead and you're taking me to the afterlife...that makes you the Angel of Death doesn't it?" She gave him a formal salute with her scyth.
"Cyre at your service." He examined her with open skepticism. How could she be the Angel of Death?
She was dressed in a frilly pink robe, trimmed with lace and ribbons in a slightly different shade of pink. It was made all out of silk with some crushed velvet for decorative trim, and tiny hearts in a linking chain pattern all down the robe.
The scyth she was using wasn't much better. It to was pink, and if you have ever seen pink tinted steel you'll know how hideous that is, with heart shaped cut out's in the blade, and a big pink bow where the blade attached to the heavily sequined staff-handle. The whole outfit dripped love and girly glitter. She stared back at him. "What...?"
"Nothing. Just if you're the Angel of Death...I mean...it's just I expected you to be a little more...imposing." She glanced down at her outfit and sighed.
"The black robe and dragon headed scyth are reserved for Afterlife state occasions, offical office days, and PR apperances."
"So you don't have any others." She sighed again.
"I have silver robes but they're at the cleaners." He stared at her with open disbeliefe.
"Silver, I should have guessed. And you don't have any spares." He really should have guessed she would were silver...it would certainly match her eyes...and hair...and wings.
"I have four-hundered and sixty-three replacemnet silver robes." Now he really didn't believe her.
"And all of them are at the cleaners." She nodded with a solom expression on her face. Her answer chilled him to the bone.
"Tells you what kind of day I had yesterday." Now he could believe she was the Angel of Death. Nobody who could dress like that and still instill fear in someone could be anyone else. But there was still one more thing bugging him.
"So why are you using that ugly scyth?" She actually laughed at that and stared at the scyth with such utter loathing that he realized just how much she hated it. The force of that gaze should have melted it.
"It came with the outfit and when you use one...you have to use the others. It's the rules of the gift." A gift? Someone had given the Angel of Death THAT wretched outfit? Somebody call the fashion police there was a serial pinkest on the loose.
"So who in their right mind, or their wrong one for that matter, would give the Angel of Death such a stupid gift? I mean PINK! How can the Angel of Death be serious in pink!" Cyre looked at him evenly.
"How indeed." But Charming ignored her completely, still focusing on his rant.
"I mean just tell me who would be so stupid..." At that exact moment a tall, golden skinned, golden haired, overtly muscular man in a white loincloth walked over. His blue eyes sparkeled in merriment and his golden bow and white quiver, with little red hearts all over it, shifted slightly as he spread his arms wide.
"Cyre my love, you're wearing it! Oh love the color on you. Catch you later baby." Then he did something that even Charming would never have done for fear of being shanked, he pointed two finger guns at her, clicked his toung against his teeth twice, and winked. Then he turned and walked away, giving Charming a view of the pair of cute little white wings that couldn't have lifted a cat into the air.
Cyre winced and waited until he was well out earshot and then said in a monotone. "That would be Cupid. He has a major crush on me. This...new work wardrobe...was his Valentines gift to me," she stopped for a moment and did some quick finger math. Not easy to do with a scyth in one hand. "Four-hundred and thirty-five years ago."
"And you're just now wearing it?" She gave him a conspiritorial wink.
"It's too valuble for everday use don't you think? I mean a girl dosen't get gifts from THE Cupid ever day now dose she. Besides do you know how badly it hurts to fight with sequins on your handle? When I get a hold of the guy who made this..." She didn' finish the sentence, merely wave the blade of her scyth suggestively.
Charming looked her up and down. "I still say you look like a bottle of Pepto Bismal. Maybe you should make it a permanent change." Suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed the front of his expensive Gucci leather jacket. She gave an effortless heave and lifted him a good foot in the air.
"Listen you cocky corpse! You don't have any right to judge me. Only the Others can do that and only if I'm brought before a panel. And who the hell is going to have the balls to charge Death with a crime? You! I don't think so!" When she dropped Charming he didn't think so either. For a moment she turned her back to him.
He was about to speak when she rounded on him. "And Charming! Who the hell names her kid Charming! Worse you're a prince of...who cares what you're the prince of you're the character out of every little girls favorite bedtime story. Hell you were even driving a white Mustang!"
He hated it when people made fun of his name. It was the one thing that was absolutely, positively, going to make him loose his temper every time. This time was no exception. "Yeah well you've inspired fear and hatred in every generation ever to walk the Earth! You with your skeletal form and hideous leer..." She held up her hand.
"Whoa! Time, time! First off I am not the person you're thinking of. I am the Angel of Death. You are describing the Grim Reaper. I'm the person who comes for people who's...accounts...are slightly more positive than negative. He comes for the people who sit on the opposite side of that benchmark."
"And what happens when a perfectly balence sould dies?" Cyre's silver eyes became even more steely, if that was possible.
"We both go after it." Before he could reply she continued. "And that is how I ruined all but my state robe and this circus tent." For a moment neither spoke then Charming broke the ice.
"So, uh, when do I register or whatever?" Cyre slapped her palm against her forehead leaving a moon-shaped crescent of pink glitter between her eyes.
"Dammit! I knew there was something fighting with you was making me forget and that was getting rid of you." She spun her scyth rapidly three times and he found himself flying through the air, Cyre flapping at a leisurely pace beside him. In no time at all she set them down infront of a pale man in a white suit sitting behind a white desk.
"Name, age, race, country, place and time of death."
"Charming Savante, twenty-five, caucasion, Opullia, and..." He looked at Cyre imploringly for the other two details.
"I scraped him off the Opullia Royal road not half an hour ago Morri." Morri nodded to himself then pulled out a little black book from his brest pocket. He licked his index finger and flipped a few pages then used his finger to scan down the page. "Ah-ha, here it is and...oh my..." Charming and Cyre both looked at Morri expectantly.
"It seems that the young man was assassinated and that the assassin had supernatural help. You know what that means Cyre." Once again Cyre slapped her forehead with her hand, leaving another crescent that overlapped the other making a strange 'X' shaped desinge on her forehead.
"Who's the poor S.O.B. that has to escort the kid back to the mortal plane." Morri looked sympathetic, or maybe it was just pathetic, but he pointed at Cyre.
"He's going to be going up against Grim so technically it's your case...but I might be able to swing it to one of the others. You'll have to pick which one though and clear it with them." For a moment Cyre looke furious. Just the thought of taking orders from this stuck up snob was giving her the urge to kill something.
Suddenly an evil idea dawned in her head. There were more than enough people here in the Afterlife that either owed her a favor, were scared shitless of her, or had revenge coming to them. Infact there were several that had all three. Staring down at the pink scyth in her hand and the pink robe she made her decision. "Morri I think I'll..."
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
Last edited by Kalanna Rai on Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:51 pm; edited 28 times in total
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 12:42 am Post subject: |
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Great title, great start Kala! 
I chose for her to go, 'cos she's hot.  
On a more technical note, I would leave the poll for a few days usually. First get people to comment and give you some ideas, then you can use them in the poll.
I am awaiting the next chapter. *Folds his arms and taps his foot*
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 12:46 am Post subject: |
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It's pretty sad when the author is waiting for the next chapter.
*taps claw on table and scorches the drapes*
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"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 1:02 am Post subject: |
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Wonderful! Another funny storygame!
Great concept, by the way, I love Prince Charming driving a white mustang. And Cupid's even sleazier than our poor hero! 
A couple of spelling mistakes here and there. You might find it useful to run the story through Word (or something similar) before you post it. There'll always be those nitpickers who point out bad spelling.
Now... as for the decision point... are we talking angels and deities here, or just people who have died?
If it's dead people who Cyre could choose from, how about picking some female counterpart who thinks in a similar fashion to Charming? A narcissistic 'I'm the only person in the universe' type, to guide him back to Earth?
Helen of Troy, perhaps? Lucretia Borgia? Cleopatra?
It might not give him the best chance of survival, but it sure as heck'd be funny!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 1:21 am Post subject: |
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| Kalanna Rai wrote: | It's pretty sad when the author is waiting for the next chapter.
*taps claw on table and scorches the drapes* |
LOL!
I can see you being in Good vs Evil vs money soon!
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Smee
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: |
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Great new story Kalanna. 
I know you're kinda nervous about leaping in with the storygames, but your selections so far have been great.
This site is full of experimentation so don't worry if your first attempts don't take off (although I'm sure they will) - if nothing else it's excellent practice at the tricky task of creating decision points and the other challenges of Storygaming.
And your latest is a humour - excellent
I think she's going to go take on Grim again - It's her best hope of finding the perfect excuse to er..dirty the pink suit and not have to wear it again - plus it sounds like the fight would be fun.
Happy Writing
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:04 pm Post subject: |
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First off it's diety's only, Sorry Shady but I'll keep that one in mind. Second thanks guys for the responses, you can't even imagine what cyre might do in chapter 2, let's just say her halo is a little bent here and there.
P.S. If I'm in good vs. evil vs. money I'm in on the side of money! I can sort of picture my self charging into battle in silver plate armor, which is a sight on a dragon, but mostly I see myself as a badass sitting on a horde of gold. Hehe.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
Last edited by Kalanna Rai on Sat Jan 28, 2006 6:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:34 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | charging into battle in silver plate armor, which is a sight on a dragon, but mostly I see myself as a badass sitting on a horde of gold. Hehe. |
This can be arranged. I mean, I managed to fit Key in as a chamber pot, albiet a dignified one. A badass on a pile of gold will be no problem.
Mind you, be careful what you wish for. Mmmmwahahahahahaha!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| chinaren wrote: | | Quote: | | charging into battle in silver plate armor, which is a sight on a dragon, but mostly I see myself as a badass sitting on a horde of gold. Hehe. |
This can be arranged. I mean, I managed to fit Key in as a chamber pot, albiet a dignified one. A badass on a pile of gold will be no problem.
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Okay, you are in. Check out chapter 19 of Good vs Evil vs money!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 10:15 pm Post subject: Okay Poll closed. |
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That's a rap people. Give me some time to fix up chapter two.
Coming soon...'Reincarnation...maybe...'
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| Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 11:14 pm Post subject: Chapter Two: Reincarnation...maybe... |
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Thanks for the responses. Everybody was in favor of Cyre going with Charming so...here you go.
P.S. If I think about anything too long I forget...
------
Chapter Two: Reincarnation...maybe
Staring down at the pink scyth in her hand and the pink robe she made her decision. "Morri I think I'll go with Charming. Afterall, Grim is no cakewalk and not even Cupid inspires enough rage in me to make me be...evil." The angel shuddered at the thought.
With an 'I thought so' smile, Morri pulled a small, red pencil out of one of his sleeves and made a neat note in his little black book. "And when will you be leaving Cyre? Should I have Father Time juggle your schedual for you?" Cyre ran a hand through her hair, not an easy task when it hung to mid thigh.
"I'll be leaving shortly Morri. I just need to pick some things up from the house and yes, I may need Chronos to do some juggling for me...depending on how fast Charming can get his affairs settled. Morri made another small check.
"Done then." He put then pencil back up his sleeve and then closed the book and slid it back in his pocket. "Will the young man be waiting here with me?" He politely inquired.
For a moment Cyre looked tempted. Charming crossed his fingers behind his back and hoped he wouldn't be left alone with Morri. The man looked slightly sinester in a small, soft, harmless sort of way. "No Morri I'll be taking him with me. No telling what kind of trouble he might get into if I leave him alone." Morri merely nodded and spread his hands wide.
"Anytime I can help Cyre just ask." Charming was about to say his own goodbyes when the world seemed to melt like an overly hot candle. With a yelp he latched both hands onto the fuzzy sleeve of Cyre's pink robe. With one leg lifted up in the air he looked much like a cartoon housewife afraid of Jerry Mouse. Cyre couldn't help but chuckle.
In a few moments the world around him began to firm up, reavealing him to be in a large foyer made of grey marble. Cyre shook Charming off of her sleeve and let go of the pink scyth with an air of utmost disgust. "Yeech!" She said staring at the pink glitter on her hand. "I have to go wash the cooties off. Feel free to look around, just don't go down the hallway with the black and blue tile bar above it."
She was suddenly gone leaving Charming in the cold, vast, and silent foyer. He looked around at the three hallways that left the room. The one on the left had a stripe of red and gold above the door. The one on the right had green and violet marking the way. Yet it was the hallway dead ahead that he started down, the one with black and blue above it. After all, the Angel of Death couldn't do anything to a dead man could she?
This hallway was all done in black marble with a twinkling canopy of stars overhead, they were so beautiful that they looked real, and who knows maybe they were. At first he couldn't understand why he had been forbbiden this hallway but too soon he found out. The hallway split in two, one with a blue bar over it, one with a black. After a moment he turned down the black hallway.
Weapons lined the walls, scyths mostly, but a few sickles, and some scimitar swords as well. Underneith were names and dates of people who'd been cut down by that particular weapon. There didn't seem to be much variation until he passed a weapon that looked completely out of place. A simple sling loaded with a stone hung off the end of a scimitar. Underneith was the simple discription.
'Stone and sling used by David to render Goliath unconcious, scimitar used to cut off his head...interesting use of combinations.'
Charming was sick to his stomach. Obviously collecting famous death weapons from the mortal realms was a hobby for Cyre. He passed several hallways, all with solid black bars over them, and each seemed to be a weapon gallery of some sort each with a different weapon type on display with a showcase of an extremely famous wepon. Finally he saw the end of the hallway. Hoping there is an exit at the end he charged toward it only to find a massive marble collumn at the end.
The center was hollow and had a glass panel set into the side so that you could see what was inside. There, against a velvet backdrop, was the 'Dragon-Headed scyth' that Cyre had mentioned as being special.
It was a long silver weapon, over eight feet from the tip of the longest crest spine on the dragon, to the sharp tip on the butt end of the shaft. The curve of the blade did indeed look like the head of a dragon, with wicked spine-like protrusions that hooked in a backward serration at the top. It gleamed with an unhealthy light and suddenly he was irrationally terrified of it.
He charged back down the hallway until he came to the choice of blue or black and took the plunge down that hallway. He didn't even pay attention to it at all, only ran toward the soft smell of apples that seemed to come from the far end. Suddenly he burst to the end of the hallway and into an indoor pool.
Steam rose thickly and heavily perfumed into the air but that wasn't what drew his eyes. In the center of the pool Cyre was bathing. She stood alone softly humming as she rinsed her hair, damn the high water and those wings he couldn't see anything.
Suddenly she glanced over her shoulder. To her credit she didn't shriek, or even jump. Instead she shook her head. "I did warn you." A loud shattering sound was heard and suddenly Charming was pegged to the wall as the Dragon-Headed scyth embedded itself in the material of his pants just below the crotch. He nearly fainted.
By the time he managed to pull his eyes away from the sight that so filled him with terror Cyre had slipped on a terrycloth robe and was only inches from him. With one pull she slipped the scyth free of the wall, which immediantly healed it's self up the moment the scyth was removed. The way she swung the thing suggested that this was the weapon she was most comfortable with.
"You came this close to singing soprano for the rest of your afterlife. The damage this scyth inflicts on the living and the dead is permenant. I get docked brownie points for killing souls, especially those who have an Act of Vengence coming to them, but then I don't deal with brownie points down here." He swollowed deeply at the steely glint in her eyes that seemed to be as harsh and sharp as the edge of that scyth.
"Now I suggest that you go wait in the main room for me. Just take the door on your left." Suddenly a door appeared where none had been. "And if you want to keep your ability to be 'Charming' I suggest that you stay there. Am I making myself clear?"
"Crystal." His voice cracked with fear on the word and he all but dove through the door that vanished the moment he was through it. He got a mouthful of thick carpet and had to splutter as some came free in his mouth. At this rate he'd be picking red fibers from his teeth for a week.
He sat gingerly in one of the two chairs that faced the fire and picked up a deck of cards with the intention of playing solitar. "Put us down!" He screamed and scattered the deck everywhere as he drew both arms and legs up into the chair and held himself tightly.
Soon Cyre swept into the room, suprisingly dressed in that fugly pink robe again. "Now you have some choices as to how to get back to earth...do you want to get back quickly?"
"I just want out of this nightmare."
"You're not the only one." Cyre muttered. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well you could go zombie, or ghost. If you're willing to wait a year we could do the whole 'Crow' thing..."
Charming interrupted. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know talking about all this stuff is routine for you but I know nothing about it. I mean you may want to explain it all just so that I don't sterotype the answers." Cyre sighed heavily.
"First method Zombie. Basically I shove you back into you're damaged rotting body as is. Next you attempt to keep it animated which is going to take most of your concentration to do. Thus it dropps your ability to participate in everyday life, not that you had a big roal in life anyway playboy."
Charming shuddered. "So I'm just a pile of rotting flesh...I don't think so. Next option please."
"Well that would be coming back as a ghost. Now you wouldn't immediantly adjust to being a specter, most people don't. Depending on how strong you will is you can do everything from a visual manifestation to poltergist activity at the place of your death. Within two to three years you will be able to control and use whatever ghostly abilities you want. After that it can take another five years for you to move around. You're pretty much limited to places you had a strong attachment to in life...but hey. It's better than being a rotting pile of pus."
"You can' speed that up any, you know, give me afterlife haunting training??" The thought of eight wasted years was making Charming sick to his stomach.
"Sure I could speed up your training, send you back a SuperGhost, but you'll still be stuck to the place rule...unless you find a person to haunt. However, haunting a person is difficult. You have to constantly fix your concentration on the energy of your chosen target. Plus you kind of have to go where they go and haunt the areas that they are strongly attached to."
Cyer drummed his fingers on the plush armchair. "That also sounds like it might be a random chance for me to wait the person who had the Grim Reaper kill me. At that rate it might take me a decade to fulfill my goal. I don't like the thought of hanging around."
"Well the only other option I can think of right off the bat is the 'The Crow' method."
"Which is?"
"You wait a year then on the aniversary of your death you rise from the grave."
"Sounds zombie-ish to me."
"Your flesh is not putrifying and you have healed any injuries from the accident. You're only driving goal is to assassinate the man who put the hit out on you, and anyone invovled with planning your death. The only downside is you have a living animal companion that shares it's lifeforce with you. You can't be hurt as long as it's okay but the moment it's injured you become venurable."
Charming brightened up at the thought of being some kickass undead bad boy. That would make him a definite chick magnet. "Well depending on the creature it has it's good points. But the whole waiting a year thing really puts a damper on things are you sure that's all the methods to coming back from the dead?"
"I'm not God. I don't do ressurections. I know that there are other short term options I just can't remember what they are. It's not like I do this everyday you know. Generally I bring people here and my work is done." Charming could see she had a point. Still it was pretty conveniant she 'forgot' the other methods.
"Can nobody remind you?"
"Unless somebody tells me another option in the next sixty seconds I'm going to go with one of those three. And under the circumstances I think that the best method is..."
------
Feel free to give me other ressurection offers. Makem' weird, or pick one of the ones above now that their pros and cons are outlined.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
Last edited by Kalanna Rai on Fri Jan 27, 2006 7:59 am; edited 1 time in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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Another good chapter Kalanna
| Kalanna Rai wrote: | | And if you want to keep your ability to be 'Charming' I suggest that you stay there |
I loved that line!
Anyway, he's in a hurry, I think he'll be prepared to go back as a ghost. A zombie just wouldn't be Charming enough to suit his ego
By the way, do you want me to delete your chapter 1 poll?
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Chinaren
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 4:16 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter
Ghost definately seems the way forward, zombies aren't known for their advanced thinking and as Stoat pointed out, not very charming.
Although zombie does have some advantages to it - a physical presence for one, being insubstantial could seriously limit interaction if that is required. If he's able to keep his mental attributes I could see Zombie becoming more of an option.*
Keep it coming and,
Happy Writing.
*A good bath and he could scrub up pretty well, much more likely to be able to use the old charm if you have a body.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 7:36 am Post subject: |
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I wrote the end of the chapter in a hurry. You may want to check out the edited version as I explained the options out more. You guys should really make more informed decsions....
*sigh*
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 7:56 am Post subject: |
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I can't see an edited version - and what's wrong with our decisions? 
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:02 am Post subject: |
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Hot off the presses and I love your suggestions. I just didn't give you all the info. Plus I wanted some other suggestions on how I could bring him back not just the three I posted.
But hey. If he gets turned into a ghost it's really going to put a damper on his love life.
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:47 am Post subject: |
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How about possession of another living being? It gives him a body to work with, it's potentially quite Charming, not like a zombie and it may not take a whole year to do.
Disadvantages? Well, it might be time-limited... or the original persona might keep struggling to get back in control... or Charming might find that the longer he spent in the possessed body, the more he began to think like the original owner. Or all or none. The author gets to decide that stuff.
But possession is always potentially funny
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:01 am Post subject: |
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Ah - I see.
Hmmmm... the crow option is now more appealing - but I'm not sure such pleasure of the flesh will be his concern if he chooses that way - it said he'll be completely focused on getting revenge on his killer.
If I get any alternative idea's I'll be back.
Happy Writing.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 10:00 am Post subject: |
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couldn't you 'conviently' find one of the Children of Judas and get them to resurect him as one of them?
note to all who haven't read vampire: the requiem, bloodlines: ledendary - the children of judas are vampires, one of their abilities is to raise the dead as a vampire too
and i bet you all though i couldn't get vampires into it
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 10:06 am Post subject: |
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Actually Vampire was all I could think of (they are cool afterall) but didn't think they were particularly Heavenly so didn't suggest it.
Can't think of anything else though.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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I did think of both possession and vampires and did dissmiss them because they were both...a little out of Cyre's jurisdiction. You see Charming is already dead...well way past dead at this time. Any intervention that might get him back in time to become a vampire would be under Chronos, Father Time, and Cyre's already into him for one favor, the rearranging of her schedual. People don't lead themselves into the afterlife afterall.
The possession idea I dismissed because it could bring the intervention of that person's guardian angel, a potentially devistating conflict.
However both those things might be extremely funny. I'll post the poll, if I can figure out how, without vampiers at this time though, sorry lord o' the night, not quite ready for that one...maybe later when things start to go really wrong. Hehehehe...
Please delete the poll somebody....please
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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Poll deleted. To get the next one running, edit your first post. That'll give you all the poll options again.
When you want me to delete the next one, just hurl a PM in my direction
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Shady, I'll keep it in mind. Okay everybody the new poll, vampyreless sorry Lordofthenight, is up. Pick your favorite option for the next three days.
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| Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:57 pm Post subject: Chapter Three: Possessing Miss America...jr. |
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You wanted possession...hehehe....
-------
Chapter Three: Possessing Miss America...jr.
"Under the circumstances I think that the best method is...possession." Charming raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Possession. As in taking over someone elses body?"
"No as in buying somebody on E-Bay, yes taking over somebody's body you moron!" Cyre paced back and forth, wings twitching in irritation. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and tapped one finger, slowly. "Humm, this is tough. I don't deal with living people...just dead ones."
"You know about E-Bay?"
"I'm the Angel of Death, not the Angel of the Technilogically Impaired of course I know about E-Bay! We were talking about the problems with possessing somebody!"
"So you can't do possession?" Cyre's fingers hooked into claws and she came inches away from strangling him before regaining her composure.
"Yes I can do possession! All I do is stuff you in the body, you do the rest! Unfortunately it's a matter of finding the right body. You don't want somebody injured, or addicted to drugs, or who's wanted by the law," after this last statment Cyre shuddered as if recalling bad memories. "And yet you need somebody with a lower intelligence, softer will, and shorter attention span...are you listening to me?"
In all actuality Charming had been studying the playing cards he'd scattered moments before. They were pulling themselves across the floor without the use of any kind of limbs, instead using snake-like undulations to propell themselves. Suddenly Cyre's fingers snapped just beyond the end of his nose causing him to jump and utter a yelp like a scalded dog.
"Now do I have your undivided attention? This topic concerns you as well I should think. There are three problems with me selecting a body. One is host's life involvment. If your host has abosolutly no reason to go running around hunting down...whoever we're going to go after then people that know and love that person are going to come after us...usually in ways involving law enforcement." Again she shudders after uttering those words.
"Two, host spirit conflict. If the host...you're not listening again!" Yet again the playing cards had distracted Charming by spelling out the words 'Ha Ha Ha' on the carpet. Now he looked up at Cyre guiltily and blinked.
"You were saying something about not knowing what kind of person I'm going to get." Cyre had had enough.
" Fine! You don't want to hear the rules and make some intelligent decisions, a first I'm sure, then I'm going to do this on my own and YOU can suffer the consiquences!" Charming didn't like the sound of that. Yet there was nothing he could do as suddedenly the world did the whole melty-thingy and the next thing he knew Cyre was forcing him into a body that didn't quite fit.
Fighting with the body's natural occupant was a little like going straight from the spin cycle into a fast tumble dry. In the end he ended up panting and tangled in his silky pink sheets!
'Those are mine you pervert! Get out of my head!' He spun around to find where the female voice was coming from and was shocked to hear it echoing in his own head. 'It's my head and I want it back!'
"Cyre what's..." he didn't need to say anything more. Instead he stared at his slim hands with his perfectly manicured nails and their princess pink polish and listened to the high pitch and silvery timbre of his voice.
In the corner Cyre was little more than a fleeting image. "Well Charming I'll let you and your...'room mate' get aquainted. I have some snooping to do."
"What the hell am I supposed to do looking like this?" He gestured at his perfect and ample figure.
Cyre shrugged her shoulders, okay it was more like rolling her wings. "I don't know? Why don't you try being a little more...Charming. You are a guest in her flesh after all." With that she vanished. "Cyre get back here!"
'Who's she, and who are you? More importantly why are you in MY body?" He sighed.
"It's a long story. My name is Charming and I'm a recently assassinated prince..."
'I may be possessed but I wasn't born yesterday! Prince Charming my...'
"But it's true! That woman, well angel really, that just left was the Angel of Death and her name is Cyre."
'The Angel of Death wears pink? You expect me to believe that?'
"Well...yes." For a long moment the pair of minds stared at each other with their minds' eyes'. "Please..."
'I don't know why I should but I guess you can stay...for a little while, but if you mess up my chances for winning the pagent I'll...'
"Pagent? What pagent?"
'Why the Junior Miss America Pagent. I'm an entry and it's at the end of the week. You have to be gone by then.' Charming drummed his er her fingers on the table next to the bed. 'Don't do that! You'll ruin my manicure!" Charming knew how hard it was to get a good manicure so he stopped at once.
"Well I'll talk to Cyre, she's got the final say you know but I'm not going to enter any damn pagent!"
'Are so!' Charming was in a tight spot. The plane left tomorrow, or so the picky girl in his brain said, and he had to be on it to make the pre-pagent check in and all that. This might make or break the whole possession deal. If only he'd paid more attention to Cyre he might be able to figure a better way out of this...still. Was he or wasn't he going to go?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:21 pm Post subject: |
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Hehe! Good one!
Er, go to the pageant? I could be really perverted here. But I will resist...
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| Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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I like it! Self-obsessed guy meets self-obsessed girl. There'd be a love story in the making there, if the physical side of things wasn't sadly lacking in some areas
OK, what to do...
Make the deal. Cyre is already sick and tired of you. If you mess this one up too, you might have to find out the hard way if kissed frogs really turn back into princes!
However, there are a few counter-deals you could suggest. 1: get a later plane. The pageant is in a week, the plane leaves in a day - there has to be some way she could delay a little, in order to investigate Charming's life-and-death problems.
Or, go through with the pageant on condition that Miss America help you out afterwards, no matter where it leads
Good chapter Kalanna.
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Smee
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| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:00 am Post subject: |
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Indeed - I read this one over breakfast this morning and have had time to ponder it now.
How 'little' Miss are we talking here - I'm not familiar with such pagents. If she's a little kid then we don't have much option of delaying the flight, her parents/carers will just say no.
It's a shame he didn't listen to the rules, he'd know then that he'd just need to exert his will over her and take control of the body - *grins* He'll just have to learn to share.
Good chapter Kalanna,
Happy Writing
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| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 4:40 am Post subject: |
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Well he'll probably learn something helping her get through the pageant and get more of her cooperation in accomplishing what he has to do. The experience will probably get him farther than being selfish and only concentrating on his problems. Great story so far, keep up the good work!
The 2nd chapter of Angel's Destiny is being voted on
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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Okay here's a few points that you all have questions on. First off this particular Miss America Junior, I'm not caring what it's really like because well...I.D.G.A.R.A, takes place with contestants anywhere from 15-17 years of age. The particular beauty queen in our story is 16.
I'd like to get the poll deleted so that I can put up the new one, then you guy's will have all the options that I've sorted from your suggestions.
P.S. Cyre's not exactly sitting on her duff. You'll be surprised with her in the next chapter...promise.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 2:09 am Post subject: |
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Okay three day poll, cast your vote, choose his fate...or not.
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| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 7:42 am Post subject: |
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Voted and created a tie 
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:33 pm Post subject: |
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Hummm...the pagent is winning...interesting....
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 10:52 pm Post subject: Chapter Four: A Beatdown and a Beauty Queen |
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Okay Charming needs to shave his legs and put on some lipstick cuz he's about to get a crash course in juvenile beauty pagents...
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Chapter Four: A Beatdown and a Beauty Queen
He ran their hand's through their hair agonizing over the decision he faced. Finally he decided to be a gentleman. "Okay, we'll go to the stupid pagent." Her response was so enthusiastic that he momentarily lost control of the body while she hopped up and down on the bed clapping her hands and squealing in delight.
'Oh thanks, thanks so much! By the way my name is Donna Arlingtion and you are Prince Charming, so you say, and I'm well...sorta glad to meet you.' In truth Charming wasn't doing it out of the goodness of his heart. He remembered Cyre saying something about people wigging out if his host suddenly stopped acting like herself. So off to the pagent.
Donna settled down and Charming found himself back in the drivers seat in no time. "I have a favor to ask you Donna. You're going to have to teach me to be a beauty queen cuz...well...it's not something I was interesting in being in life." Being with...now that was a different story...
'I'll call it a fair trade if you'll tell me just how you ended up in my body in the first place.' Charming moved from the bed to the vanity mirror and sat down on the stool. Picking up a hairbrush he began to brush out their white-blond locks.
"Well...it all started like this..."
---------------
Meanwhile, Cyre was examining the remains of Charming's car. She'd returned to the spot of his final hours in order to gain whatever information she could from the still cooling wreckage. Getting a better look at the cut breaklines she bent down and was immediantly glad that she hadn't tried to make Charming a zombie...she just didn't have the paitence to wait while a pile of ooze followed her around.
She had just reached out to touch the cut in the lines when she felt space and time warp behind her. She stood and braced herself as her old...friend...Grim materialized before her.
He stood in a pool of perpetual shadows, a ragged, tattered, and patched, robe of black sackcloth with a deep cowled hood covered everything but his hands. The two boney apendages gripped his sycth, with it's warped shaft and battered blade, in a combat position infront of him. He took one look at her and her outrageous outfit and laughed so hard his hood fell back and tears ran out of his empty sockets.
"Rich! Just rich! Somehow I never imagined you in pink Cyre! But it suits you...in a freakish way." Suddenly he became all buisiness, red fire dancing in his empty eye orbits. "It's a pity I'll have to get your blood all over it." With that he swept out his scyth. As a matter of reflex Cyre blocked it with hers only to watch as the pink horror was cleaved in two.
Grim let out a shrieking laugh and pointed. His laugh died to a gurgle as Cyre replanted her stance into that of a martial artist and jerked her chin at him. "Bring it." The scyth swept out and Cyre evaded it with a fluid movement. Cloth tore as it caught one of her trailing sleeves and Cyre didn't care.
She dodged his backswing with yet another liquid movment and once more cloth tore as Grim missed her flesh completely. Suddenly she went on the offensive, her movements like a flash flood battering the skeleton and making his bones rattle like windchimes in a hurricane. More cloth tore and Grim was forced to back up as a rib dropped to the dirt.
"What are you using woman?! This something new from the Heavenly Academy!" Cyre shook her head and returned to her ever-changing ready pose.
"Nope. It's just something I've been doing in my spare time to relax." She eyed her opponant up and down. "You know Grim, you should really try Tai Chi. It's relaxing, revitalizing, and it's oh so satisfying to watch somebody get their ass kicked by it." The Grim Reaper had seen Tai Chi before. It was slow, fluid, and completely harmless...or so he'd thought.
The battle renewed with enthusiasim, his bones rattling, her robe becoming more tattered than his. A rip opened over one wing, then the other, and a sudden jerky move brought a sudden turn of events. Grim's scyth blade was caught in the lacings of her bodice. One jerk would cut the strings and the entire robe would just slide off. She looked into his learing eye sockets. "Grim don't..."
He didn't listen only pulled. The strings snapped and the robe fell...reavealing a whole new outfit under it. A tight black open backed halter top wrapped around her neck and stopped a pair of inches above where her low rider jeans took over. The jeans were so ripped and holey that they were little more than a lace work of denim over her long legs. It was the gun, however, that caught his attention.
It had a barrel as long as a man's forearm and a comfort grip desinged for one hand, and one hand alone. It looked like a business weapon and it's brother rested easily on her hip. She smiled at him from down the barrel of the gun. His sockets widened as he heard the safety click off. "I told you don't."
The resulting boom from the hand cannon echoed for miles and was heard by every being of darkness down to the marrow of their bones. Grim's skull vaporized into powder and his body and such vanished in a puff of noxious green smoke. The only thing left behid was a bronze chain with an odd square charm on the end. Holstering her weapon she picked up the charm and tossed it into the air, catching it again.
A vampyre clan marker with blood still fresh. The pact could still easily be read. Six souls for Grim if he would only cut the breaklines on one white Mustang...things had just gotten interesting.
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"And that is how I ended up in your body." Donna was awed into silence and Charming was getting the impression that silent was something Donna almost never was. Finally, almost trembling, she spoke.
'You single handedly killed an army of zombies and enslaved the Angel of Death to your will? What kind of man are you?" Charming opened his mouth to reply but was cut off before he could.
"The kind that likes to bullshit to make himself look good. What kind of lies have you been telling the girl Charming?" They spun around to stare at Cyre and their jaw dropped. Charming wished to no avail to suddenly become physical in his own body and Donna was ready to kill for some hair and makeup tips.
"I was just..."
"Shut up. Donna you're all packed and ready to go right?" The girl nodded her head, realized she didn't have control of her body to do so, and squeaked out a yes. "Good, when dose the plane leave."
'One.' Cyre glanced at the clock, seven a.m. She paced back and forth, her quicksliver mind running in high gear.
"Okay here's the new plan. Charming you are to hide in that body like you don't exist. Cede all control of it over to Donna now!" After a breif struggle Donna resumed control over her body. "Donna I need you to wear this at all times, don't take it off for any reason." A small silver cross appeared in her outstretched hand. Donna put it on and arranged it just so.
"What's this for...if you don't mind my asking?"
"Charming is in trouble with vampyres."
"What!" Charming's voice, not tempered any coming from Donna's vocal chords reverberated in the room.
"Easy boy. Just take a nap in Donna's skull and everything will be fine. The last place they'll look for you is hidden in a beauty queen at a national level beauty pagent." Donna nodded. "I'll be in touch but for now," Her her eyes grew steely. "You two take care. I have some buisness with some soon to be re-dead bloodsuckers." With that she vanished again.
Donna turned herself back to the task of getting dressed, the visitor in her body little more than a blank spot in the back of her skull. She smirked. "Bent the Angel of Death to your will huh?"
'Just shut up and go to the stupid pagent...I'm so sick of unlife that no life seems a much better alternative.'
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It was dusk by the time she got into town finally ready to take care of one last piece of buisiness before her interview with a vampire. Cyre walked up to a small garage that looked like it hadn't been used for years...thirty-two to be exact. She slipped inside without a sound and moved through the empty, dusty space toward the only other object in the room...a sheet covered object.
With a flourish Cyre whipped the dust cover off the most radical chopper known to man. Mostly chrome with a soft cream colored paint and leather seat the color of butter milk she caressed it's recurved handle bars.
Settling herself back in the seat again she twisted her key in the igniton and kicked out the clutch, which was just for show, this baby responded to her every though. With a roar that shattered the night Cyre slammed out of the old garage and whooped in joy. Damn it was good to be back on the streets.
Underneith her the bike glimmered as streetlights bounced off of it and they owned the night. She pulled up infront of a club called 'Maximum Crimson' and parked the bike in the lot, confident that nobody would attempt to steal it. She hadn't made it more than five feet before somebody tapped her on the shoulder.
"She yours?" Cyre nodded and the man examined the bike again. "A Pale Horse, that her name?" Again the nod. "Cool." And just like that he shuffled off into the night. Now Cyre turned her attention back to the bouncer and the line that was already beginning to form at the door. She could just wait in line and use a minor illusion on her guns, or she could bluff the bouncer out of her way with pure mind might...under the circumstances it would be better two...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 1:08 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing Charming putting up with the Beauty Queens from Hell
I think Cyre shouldn't use her powers any more than she has to. It might draw the wrong sort of attention, and while I'm sure she can take care of herself, I'm sure she doesn't want the extra hassle it brings.
Minor illusion on the guns. Mind magic if that fails
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 5:39 am Post subject: |
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| I agree with Shady.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 1:54 am Post subject: |
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Good point LoN, I never did tell you guys how old Charming is...infact there are a lot of personal details lacking on all three main characters...Well here's a quick rundown.
Charming: Donna:
Age: 25 Age: 16
Hight: 6'5" Hight: 5'7"
Weight: 250lbs Weight: 160lbs
Hair: Auburn Hair: White Blond
Eyes:Green Eyes: Sapphire
Cyre:
Age:(she's gonna kill me) 6,496 but looks 20
Hight: 6'2"
Weight: 100lbs, she's an angel and gotta fly folks
Hair: Metallic Silver
Eyes: Liquid Metallic Silver.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 1:55 am Post subject: |
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Also have you never heard the saying 'Death rides a pale horse'. I believe that one comes straight from the Bilble, no disrespect intended.
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"Music makes you braver."
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 4:12 am Post subject: |
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I seriously doubt that possessing someone is leagal either but hey...nothing's going to stop Charming from enjoying that pagent...except...well...don't want to give away the surprise...
_________________
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"Music makes you braver."
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 4:28 am Post subject: |
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It seems I'm on a Kalanna catch-up comment session this lunchtime - another one I read and didn't comment.
Good chapter, I'm really liking Cyre's character.
Technically 16 is legal (here in the UK anyway ) so Charming 'could' enjoy it as far as I'm concerned but I don't see it being likely unless they all look (at least) 3 years older than they are
I voted for wait in line and use minor magic. She's not in a hurry really - I'm sure she'll be happy for Charming to have to spend a little longer as a beauty queen wanna-be
Happy Writing.
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 4:31 am Post subject: |
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That's just evil...and I like it...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 4:38 am Post subject: |
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Pagent's in Miami Florida...and yes Charming is going to cause difficulties that have BIG consequences.
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"Music makes you braver."
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Prince Dakkar
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:11 pm Post subject: |
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| I chose Wait in line and use minor illusions
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to my corner of insanity Dakkar! Feel free to post the most off the wall comments as possible...I like challenges...
LoN well...just wait and see...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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| Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:33 am Post subject: Chapter Five: Rock the Casbah |
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When I say three day's I mean three days...here's the latest installment.
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Chapter Five: Rock the Casbah
Under the circumstances it would just be better to wait in line. After all it wasn't like she was in a hurry or anything...didn't have any other pressing business to attend to. She patted her guns, securing minor illusions as she did so. Nothing overt enough have the spell call attention to itself, just a mere bending of light, a simple 'I'm not here'
She slouched causually against a wall, not even garnering looks from the other would be club patrons. For once she was glad that there weren't any psychics or sensitives around. She didn't want to waste the effort to conceal herself from them...it was good enough normal people couldn't tell what she was...perks of the job.
Finally after about a half hour she was up infront of the bouncer. "Now what's a nice girl like you want to go in there for?" Cyer could tell that the guy though she was just another one of the underage patrons trying to slip past security...of all the rotten luck. Wasn't it enough that she looked twenty! Apparently not. "I'm going to have to see some I.D. missy if you want to get into the club."
"And I'd just let her pass if you want to go home with both kneecaps intact J.C." An elegant man dressed in a white leasure suit patted the bouncer on the arm. He wore a small half cape with bright flamingo pink silk lining, a huge wide brimmed white hat with a pink hat band and an ostrich feather in it, and a long white cane with a pink bubble at the top.
J.C. looked at the 'pimp daddy' and scooted aside. "If I'da known she was with you boss I'da never stopped her. What was she doing waiting in line? Being polite?" Both the 'pimp' and Cyre doubled over in laughter. As she walked into the club they were still laughing and J.C. couldn't figure out why. He just went back to harassing the rest of the line.
Maximum Crimson never failed to offend Cyre's senses. Her eyes were watering from all of the eye blearing red and lightless black that made up the interior decorations. Her nose was seriously affronted by the smell of old blood that clung everywhere, although she doubted that anyone besides herself and the vamps in the club could smell it.
The air seemed dry and scratchy to her skin and tough as she was she'd never be able to stomach the cooking...the cook might spice it just for her and then...uhhhg. The music this time wasn't half bad, the stage band had talent...even if it was only a little bit of talent.
But the worst affront was to her fashion sense. Maximum Crimson seemed to appeal only to the color-blind and nostrally deprived. Make-up was caked on with the ruthless efficency of road-crews steam adhering the yellow median line to the blacktop, and in the most garish and clashing of colors. Call her jaded but these women needed the femal equivalent of the 'Fab Five'...
Their perfume wasn't much better. When they hadn't taken a perfectly good scent and messed it up by bathing in it, they picked something that had all the plesant freshness of a hygenically challenged sewer inspector in the middle of summer. She nearly gagged. Ack, blood and rotting roses...
Slowly the pimp led her to a table in the back corner where three other men, with better taste in cloathing, sat regarding her with mixtures of arrogance and revulsion...well that feeling was mutual. They actually edged away from her when they sat down...classic male ego...when wounded retreat.
"Easy guys. If I was here on that kind of buisiness you guy's would already be little piles of ash." The pimp nodded.
"Cyre's on the level guys...never done us no harm on purpose...pretty cool even..." One of the other men silenced him with a swiftly raised hand. Cyre studied him even as he studied her. He was new, powerful...and desperatly trying to out intimidate her.
"What do you want Death." He really had lost his cool, hissing at her from between his fangs.
"Put those away in public young man. I won't tolorate open displays of vampyre hostility...unless you want to go out with me."
All the male jaws at the table dropped. "Go out with you...on a date?"
"Sure. We can take a nice moonlight stroll, ride like demons through the city on a pair of suped-up choppers, scare the crap out of little goth-wannabies, and then..." she dropped her voice to a really seductive whisper. "The we could watch the sun rise together." The vamp had been half believing her and then he snapped out of it. "That's right Sparky, I'll fry you faster than an egg on a superheated sidewalk."
For a moment nobody spoke...then one of the other two vamps, a guy in a pinstrip suit, spoke up. "Not to say that we're not charmed to have you..."
"Which you're not but go on..."
"But, uh, normally you don't just drop in on us for...pleasure reasons..." Sparky slapped his hand on the table.
"Oh spit it out man. What he's trying to say is why are you here Death? Why us, why here, why now?"
Cyre pulled out the blood marker. "Clan Nafaru made a deal with Grim,"
"Your better half." The young vamp at the table didn't realize she'd heard him until ice water suddenly fell out of the sky and dumped on him...there was just enough holy water in the mix to make it sting on his skin, like salt in an open wound, and to burn in his eyes like shampoo.
"As I was saying they made a deal with Grim. Six souls, of your clanmates I expect, were given over too him if he would just cut the breaklines on one insignificant white Mustang." Skippy, the suit, the kid, and the pimp all suddenly became jumpy...and there is nothing worse than sitting at a table with four vampyres who were suddenly as jumpy as siamese cats.
"You mean the Charming job? You're here for info on that? That's a tall order to fill...even for you...I mean it's something big! Word on the street's that it all has to do with angels' blood if you know what I mean..." He was going to want payment of some kind.
"What's it gonna cost me?" Sparky opened his mouth but the pimp answered.
"Two songs. Last time you played you blew the place off the joint."
"Last time I played it disintigrated into a madhouse." Sparky looked at Pimp.
"She plays? We'd acutally have an angel play in our club?" For a moment he looked thoughtful then shook his head. "Not on my watch. Put her onstage and the next thing you know she's gonna be singing some 'save our soul' song." Cyre chuckled...she just might at that...
"Done. I'll play but only one song." She practically glided over to where the band was resting on stage for a moment and waved the singer off to the side. A few moments later he reappeared on stage.
"Hey all you party animals out there, we've got a treat for you. Direct from the Afterlife the Angel of Death will serenade you with a sure crowd favorite." There were many snickers from those in the crowd who hadn't been here the last time Cyre played. She smiled out over the audiance and proceeded to cut them apart with a perfectly played, perfectly sung, cover of a favorite song of hers...Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple...this was gonna be fun.
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Charming wasn't having fun though. He was curled up in the back of Donna's mind trying to keep control of himself. He thought he was going to go nuts when Donna's perfect and pretty friends were hugging her...and he lost it when Donna's boyfriend came over to give her a kiss.
At first he thought he was going to be able to block it out...but then he knew he couldn't...on a visceral level they were still linked...and on a visceral level he made them puke. Not just any kind of puke...it was the projectile pea-soup puke from the Exorcist. Her boyfriend got a new makeover and Donna had to plead nerves...something she'd never had before.
She fled to the bathroom, locked them into a stall, and then stormed into her mind like an angery nun during the Inquisition. "What do you think you're doing! If Reggie never speaks to me again because of this I am sooo going to complain to Cyre..."
'You really think that's going to do any good. She'd just tell you to shut up and quit whining.' Donna shut her mouth.
"You're right. I need to appeal higher! I'm going to pray to God and then I'm going to the first church I can find and have them bless you right outta me!"
"But that'll take time and you'll miss the pagent..." He didn't know if what she was suggesting would work...if Cyre had ever said anything about exorcisims he hadn't been paying attention...damn those playing cards...next time they met he was going to use them for firestarters.
"Who cares if I miss the pagent! You're going to mess it all up anyway! Make me fall flat on my face, or puke on another contestant or worse..." She paled under her tan. "What if you make me puke on the judge! I am so going to the church!"
"No!" Charming's voice rippled out in the quiet of the girls bathroom. Both Donna and Charming sat in stunned silence. The voice that had come out of Donna's mouth hadn't been hers...it had been his a physical impossibility.
Regaining her control over her voicebox Donna dropped to her knees and prayed to heaven for help and assistance. The next then Charming knew the whole stall was flooded with glowing golden light and something was descending.
Lowered from heaven on a thick hemp rope that was tied around his prodigious waist, the fat angel squeezed into the stall with them. "Hello Donna. I'm Bubba your guardian angel and I heard you had a pesky little problem with an unwelcome visitor in your body."
Donna and Charming looked at each other inside her head. "How come you get the hot one?" She whispered feircly at him.
'Lucky I guess. This guy sure dosn't look like he could help much...dosen't even look like much of an angel. I bet if Satan shoved a donught under his nose he'd go for it in an instant.'
"I can hear everything you say young man. I wouldn't go for anything your filthy master's hand has touched!" He scratched himself, not easy to do in the cramped stall, and pulled a cross out from a place better not mentioned. "Now begon with you demon!"
It would have made a better impression if Bubba hadn't farted at just that instant...it would have been even better if it had worked. "What in the hell...?" Bubba muttered. "Who are you and what are you doing in there?"
What was Charming going to do now? Spill the beans and tell Bubba that it was all Cyre's fault? Tell Bubba nothing? Oh what was he going to do now with Cyre nowhere to be found...what was he going to do?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:46 am Post subject: |
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Ohhh, interesting! I like the vamp club, that was great!
Now, let's see...
This guardian angel chappie thinks that Charming is a demon. Well, his faith should just have been shaken by the fact that the cross has no effect. He should believe us when we tell him that we're not one of Satan's minions.
Furthermore, I'm guessing Cyre could kick his fat bottom from one end of the afterlife to the other. So, tell him that you're looking into your own recent assassination, Cyre put you in this body for safe-keeping and she'll be mad as hell if he does anything to jeopardize your safety
That should stir things up, one way or another!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 3:57 am Post subject: |
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Yeah! Tell the fat angel to get lost!
Hehe. Fat.
Nice chapter old Rai! Very goth. 
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 4:23 am Post subject: |
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I agree with Shady
Nice chapter.
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Smee
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| Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:15 am Post subject: |
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I'll add to the growing chorus.
I really liked this chapter. It was an excellent, solid chapter that made me grin in a few places, and moved the plot nicely.
I don't think Cyre will appreciate her name getting involved. It'll draw attention to him, and any spies Satan has in heaven will probably hear of it.
Although heaven may have an anti-spy firewall I still don't think Cyre will be too happy. If this hiding place is compromised who knows where she'll stick us next! He puked at his host kissing her boyfriend, what if she sticks him in a gay guy's body next.
No...no... best avoided.
So how to deal with the upstart angel?
It would be tempting to pretend to be a demon, but that'll likely rile him and he'll go for reinforcements. Best to placate him, wail abit like you are getting exorcised. After a final large scream he needs to hide as small and silent as he can - the angel can only hear him if he speaks, and Donna was barely aware of him when he was quiet. Hopefully this will be enough.
Once he's gone he's going to have to assure Donna that he won't upset her contest.
Happy Writing.
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry about the long absence...if shady will delete the poll I'll get to crack-a-lackin' on the options...and who knows what'll happen next...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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| There you go. Done
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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Hey, Good job. I think delaying is the best thing we can do right now.
_________________
 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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Poll's up.
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seijunna
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| Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 12:20 am Post subject: |
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| bet you thought i would never get around to doing this huh. Thought since i was down south i'd catch up on the chapters they're pretty good!! what is it you wanted a post card or something?? later
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:07 pm Post subject: Chapter Six: I'll Take Fake an Exorcisim for 500 Alex.... |
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You wanted it...you got it...sorry for the delay...
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Chapter Six- I'll Take Fake an Exorcisim for 500 Alex...
It was definetly cramped in the bathroom stall...Bubba could have easily filled it by himself. For a moment Charming debated telling Bubba to shove that cross where the sun don't shine...then he decided to play along.
He took control of Donna for just an instant and utter a few horrible curses toward the now smug face of Bubba. Then he pulled himself inward as small and quiet as he could. He concentrated on not being there...on being just another speck of blackness in Donna's empty head.
For an instant hope bloomed in his soul. "That's not gonna cut it kid." Bubba snarled and shoved Donna hard against the stall door, shoving them out into the open. So much for hope...
Bubba knocked Charming/Donna to the floor and pinned him down. He pulled a small boom box from behind his back. Grinning he flashed a Britney Spears CD. "Hey I thought you were her Guardian Angel. That you were supposed to love her and keep her safe?"
"You never heard of tough love before?" Charming could only scream...
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Cyre's one number had turned into two, then two into four...then before she knew it she'd jammed with the band for two hours, sparking a feeding frenzy among the vamps in the club. Just as they finished the last number in their set Charming's horrified scream of terror.
She tossed her guitar into thin air and waved to Sparky and the others. "Gotta go guys. I'll be back for the info later!" Before she knew it the four vamps from the table had surrounded her.
"What's the hurry Cyre. We've got all night." Vamps...would they never learn. Before any of their thirsty fangs could open a vein Cyre sprang into action with all her many years of formidible combat training. She elbowed one in the gut, smashing her fist into his face as he doubled over.
She caught Pimp in the crotch with her knee and shoved him to one side. She then smashed the heads of the other two together. With deliberate malice she pulled one of Sparky's fangs out by the roots. "It's been real but I gotta go. Pressing buisiness of Death ya'know."
"Wait," Sparky choked out. "The others...the plot's not against the human prince...he was bait...for you...they're after angel blood...your blood...Valient has more answers than I..."
"Then they just asked for a one way ticket to pain...Thanks Sparky I'll let you live...this time..."
Just like that she vanished toward Charming...
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Charming knew what it'd be like in hell. He kneeled on the bathroom floor, fingers jammed as far down their ears as they'd go, trying desperately to withstand Bubba's ingenious assault. Then suddenly, mercifully, he was jerked free of his body. The music cut off just as Britney was begging for one more time...
Bubba looked around surprised at the slivery figure that leaned against the wall, plug in hand. "My aren't we the creative one?" Bubba jiggled all over like a bowl full of linty Jell-O. His knees would have knocked except they were too fat so they just made a sticky squishy sound instead.
"M...my...my lady. W...what..ah...what are you d..do..doing here?" Cyre eyed Donna, who was now a drooling wreck, and then Charming, who was becoming more solid by the instant.
"I came for a parcel of mine." She jerked thumb at Charming. "I know he doesn't seem like much but I've been charged with helping him." Bubba nodded, shaking even harder. "Will you stop that? All that shaking is lible to start a quake." Bubba's shakes subsided to an all over body quiver.
Cyre sighed. "Come on Charming we've got to pay a visit to your brother." Cyre stepped away from the wall and walked over to where Charming was looking almost like a real person.
She reached out and grabbed his arm...then frowned when she realized he was rather fleshly. Something strange was going on here. She whirled to face Bubba and stalked across the room to him. "Fat man talk fast..." That was as far as she got.
A sudden light filled the room and the razor sharp edge of a chillingly cold blade pressed firmly against the side of Cyre's neck. "You smell like vampyre young lady. I demand an explanation of your...recent behaviour."
Slowly Cyre brought her hand up and gently pushed away the blade turning slowly to face the angel that stood behind her. As she turned her shocking clothing changed into a silver robe the exact shade of her hair, eyes, and wings. Her guns vanished and a simple scyth replaced them.
"I was trying to help him." The massive angel with his huge sword gazed sternly from Charming to Cyre.
"I think introductions are in order." Cyre quietly nodded and motioned for Charming to come and stand next to her. It was as subdued and quiet as Charming had ever seen her...no matter how awsome the angel before her was...something big was going on here.
"Sir this is Prince Charming my charge whom I'm helping fulfill his Act of Vengance." The angel grimly nodded to Charming as Cyre turned to face him. She took a few deep breaths and then steadied herself against her scyth.
"Charming this is the Archangel Michael, the right hand of God...and my Father..." For a moment Charming couldn't quite comprehend what Cyre was telling him...then it hit...and he fainted.
"Excitable fellow...isn't he?" Cyre nodded. Far away in some blackness in his mind Charming heard their continued conversation...yet he also heard a rasping whisper.
"Sooon...soon...she'll...be...MINE!" He sat bolt upright and smacked his head against Cyre's staff. Clutching his wounded forehead Charming struggled to remember what he'd heard...but the words were slipping away. He wanted to tell them what he'd heard...yet there was a strange compulsion not to speak...what was he going to do?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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Cool! So who is her mother!
Nice chappy Rai, I am in a bit of a rush now, so, later...
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 12:15 am Post subject: |
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Oh, this is hotting up now! So, they're after Cyre's blood are they? It makes sense that nobody would be after a self-obsessed runt like Charming himself
Well, I'd say he should tell. He doesn't seem like one who would easily take orders, whether they came from inside his head or outside. He's too used to being the master of his own little part of the universe.
So, speak. Let them know what he heard. Then we'll see what happens...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:57 am Post subject: |
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Yeah he's used to giving orders but Charming's a little short on willpower...he could be out manouvered by a bar of chocolate at times...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 12:44 am Post subject: |
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Okay Stoat, nix the poll so I can get around to answering some of the questions I've created...
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 12:56 am Post subject: |
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| Done
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:37 am Post subject: |
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Okay you'se peoples. It's late and da poll's up so vote and be done with it...things are starting to get interesting...
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:39 am Post subject: |
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| Do you want me to delete the Poll Kalanna? It seems to have hit the 'options 1 & 2 are the same' bug again *sigh*
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:41 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, just saw that myself. sorry shady but if you want a laugh I've got those Knights in white satin worked into the other one...hehehe
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:43 am Post subject: |
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| It's deleted now - and I'm posting a reply to the other one as we speak
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:48 am Post subject: |
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Okay now the polls up. Have fun...
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 4:34 am Post subject: |
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Great chapter Kalanna
He's going through a damn tough time, his world turned upside down. Everything he's ignored or hoped would go away so far has failed.
Also, Cyre is the closest thing to someone he can trust right now.
Conclusion - he's going to spill all he knows.
Happy Writing
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: Chapter Seven: Speak, Boy, Speak! |
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You all gave Charming a surprising bout of willpower. I'm sure he'll thank you...someday.
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Chapter Seven: Speak, Boy, Speak!
Charming tried to speak once and failed so he did something he normally never did, put forth the effort and tried again. It finally took him using a mental crowbar to pry open his stubborn lips but he managed to speak. "Uh Cyre and...uh...Cyre's father." Both the angels broke off their murmered coverstation and looked at him.
They stared at each other for several minutes. "Is he always this slow Cyre or did something happen to him when he died?"
"No dad nothing happened to him...other than him getting a severe dose of reality. I think it fried what little brain he had left." Michael glared at his pert daughter.
"Don't speak ill of the dead Cyre."
"Why not? It's all the fun I get out of life. You try stay cooped up in that tomb of a mansion with only dead people, weaponry, and a deck of cards for company and see what little habits you pick up?" For a moment Michael looked like he might bring his mighty sword back into play...then he gustily sighed and let the matter drop.
"Um, excuse me. Prince on the floor trying to impart vital information here!" Cyre held up a hand.
"I don't need to know about hair care products Charming. I have some more important problems on my hands." Suddenly Charming sprang off the floor, he did keep himself in shape after all. He hadn't gotten this body completely by plastic surgery after all. He grabbed Cyre by the front of the robe and shook her.
"Listen to me for once! Somebody is after you..." He didn't get any farther. The next thing he knew he was flying...until he hit tile. Cyre was rolling up her sleeves and gripping her scyth tightly.
"Don't look dad. This is gonna get ugly." Charming cringed in his corner of the room.
"Wait! When I passed out I heard a voice. It was talking about you...I think...saying something like soon it'd have you." Cyre was still advancing but, mercifully, Michael interposed himself between her and the prince.
"What did this voice sound like Charming?" Charming scratched his head trying to remember.
"Kinda like a woman but more like a snake. It was like it was taking everything she had to say those words, long breathy pauses and all that. Then, when it stopped speaking, it was like it was all draining out of my head and I had the weird feeling I wasn't supposed to talk about what I heard."
Michael's eyes narrowed. "Cyre will you do your impression of your Mother for Charming? This sounds like something she'd do." Cyre nodded then took a deep breath.
"Diiid...iiit...sound...liiike...thiiis?" Charming nodded.
"Yeah but it was long o's not i's." Michael nodded and Cyre suddenly looked grimer than Charming had ever seen her.
"Father I..."
"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's time for you to go confront your Mother. But what of your charge and his act of vengance? You promised to help him."
"Yeah but I promise to kill Mother years ago...I think that's what lawyers call 'precidence' dad." She made little quote marks with her fingers when she said the word. Michael straightened a little bit and snapped his wings with irritation. Cyre raised an eyebrow.
"Take care of the human first...then I don't care what you do. I'll turn a blind eye to your methods once and just this once." A grim smile lit Cyre's perfect features. In that instant Charming saw the reason for Michael's tight hold on his daughter...Cyre was either close to falling or on her way down...one misstep and she'd end up in Satan's army.
With a blur of motion Cyre changed back into the sleazy hot chick attire she'd been wearing when her father popped into the room. "Come on Charming. We're going to pay your brother a visit."
"Valient? What's he got to do with this?"
"Why he's the one who arranged for your death...upped you for the honor you might say." Charming's eyes blazed. He was gonna kill the little bastard. It didn't even bother him when Cyre did the 'world melty thingy'. He was going to have revenge.
From the corner Michael sighed as he lifted Bubba off the floor, or maybe it was groaned. "Things arn't going to end well." He looked upward in a silent plea but all he got was the answering machine.
------------
In far off Opullia a rather happy-go-lucky young man was wandering through the halls of the royal summer villa. He whistled cheerily, making up the tune as he went. Then he started singing...like a kindergardner might. "Charming's dead so I'll be king, then I'll be able to do anything. I'm so rich I'm gold plated, and Charming was so overrated!"
Cyre winced and Charming shook his head. "All those singing lessons and he couldn't carry a tune if it had handles." Cyre had to agree for once as the pair of them spied on Charmings younger brother Valient. "And I'd have stepped down if he'd only asked but nooo. He had to go all 16th century on me."
Cyre cracked her knuckles and pulled out one of her guns. "Want to finish it here and now?" Charming looked at the gun and reached out for it. Cyre pulled it back out of reach. "Oh no. Not for you little boy. The kick alone will blow you halfway to hell and I'm not going after you. I do draw the line at some point it's one of my dad's rules."
Charming felt cheated. Here he was with his murdering brother in plain sight and Cyre was going to have all the fun. "Can't I just maime him or something and call it good?" They both winced as Valient walked head first into a wall and bounced off giggling. Charming narrowed his eyes. "Ya know, he never used to be this stupid...infact people thought he was smarter than me."
"He's been dealing with my mom. Her servents have a tendancey to make people feel all powerful...at the expence of their souls and minds. They slowly loose IQ points every time they deal with her...and they never notice they're missing until it's too late. Then it seems they were only smart in their dreams." Charming looked at her.
"I've been meaning to ask who is your mother." Cyre opened her mouth to speak when Valient suddenly giggled and called out to empty air.
"Oh purdy lady! They's here purdy lady! Valient's gots 'um for ya!" A dark shadow seemed to engulf them and Cyre went into full attack mode.
"Oh shit." She muttered.
"What the hell?"
"Exactly." The voice was the rasping of death itself and Charming whirled around to find the Grim Reaper standing only a few feet away. A host of zombies, ghouls, and other unsavories stretched down the halls in all directions and the smell of sulfur and something that could only be burning wigs hung heavy in the air.
Grim bowed to Cyre. "Cyre, your mother requests your presence at once in her private chambers."
"Tell the hag I'm busy. Try sometime after Armaggedon." She carefully aimed one gun at Grim's grinning skull and he shifted nervously. This blostered Charmings confidence in Cyre's grip on the situation.
"Yeah! Go to hell skullface!" The darkness began swirling and Cyre smacked him hard on the head.
"What and excellent idea Charming thank you for giving it to us. You've served your part well." At that point Grim reached out and fried Valient who'd been drooling at the end of the hall. "And I think that fulfills the conditions on your Act of Vengence. Ta."
"No Cyre." Charming reached out a translucent hand toward the shining silver figure in the center of the dark malestrom. She only gazed reproachfully at him as they were pulled in opposite directions. Charming's vision swam and everything spun for a moment.
When his head cleared he was standing back in front of Morri's desk in Afterlife. Charming was desperate for help so he trusted the little man who seemed so sinester in a normal sort of way. "Morri! Do you know where they've taken Cyre!"
Morri blinked and quietly got out his book and flipped through it casually. "She's been taken to her mother in hell."
"Hell! Just who is her mother that she'd be in Hell?"
"Why Lilleth the Mother of all Mosters of course. The Archdemoness of Hell. Satan's right hand lady. First wife of Adam and one time beau of Michael the Archangel. I think that covers all her titles. Don't let you mouth hang open like that young man...it's bad manners."
Charming couldn't help the fact his chin had hit the floor. Cyre's mom was a demon? A powerful demon at that. "How'd they get her to go."
"Well isn't that obvious? You sent her. I believe you said go to hell correct?"
"Well...yes but to Grim not to Cyre."
"With all that evil energy in that area it didn't discriminate. It took everyone, except you because your Act was fulfilled and that sent on your way to heaven via my desk."
"Isn't there anything I can do?"
"Are you asking for an opinion, options, or advice."
"Options."
Morri tapped his red pencil against his lips. "Well you could continue on to heaven and inform them...but they probably couldn't get involved, there's rules about that stuff you know. You could just forget the whole thing and let Cyre fend for herself. She's good at that you know. Or..." His voice dropped to a consipiritorial whisper. "Or you could raise and army here in Afterlife and go after her. Most of the entities here are spoiling for a good fight."
Charming didn't know what to do. "What would you do?"
"Can't tell you...the choice is yours after all. The question is what are you going to do?" Charming didn't know but the best option seemed to be...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:25 am Post subject: |
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You did ask who her mother was...
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:27 am Post subject: |
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Great storyline. I see you used Prince Valiant as well. He's popping up in a lot of storygames at the moment
Yeah, I'm with Chimpy on this one. Let's assemble an army of kickass underworlders to go rescue Cyre. Of course, it'll probably all go horribly wrong, but that's good too
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:28 am Post subject: |
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Now you know part of why she is the way she is...
P.S. There are more hot chicks in Lunatic Snow...if that's all you're interested in *sniff*
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:11 am Post subject: |
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Great chapter - the dead shit has really hit the underworld fan.
I'm with everyone else - get the army raised and go to the rescue.
Keep it coming.
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 9:09 am Post subject: |
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why bother? it's not as if she's interested in him
oh wait - he's a goody good isn't he - full of misplaced valour and all that rot
very well - raise an army
and btw Lilith's affair with Michael - was that before or after Caine?
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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Way before Lordy...it was before Adam even...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 2:32 pm Post subject: |
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Can you veto the poll on this one Shady?
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Vetoed
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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Poll is up. vote now!
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| Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:50 pm Post subject: Chapter Eight: An Army of...Two? |
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Okay it was a tied vote so I had to cast the tie breaker...and it was in favor of raising an army to go save her...
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Chapter Eight: An Army of...Two?
Striking a dramatic pose Charming declared in a loud and ringing voice, "Morri I'm going to save Cyre!" He turned and faced the empty nothingness behind him. "Who's with me!" Silence. Not even the little chirping cricket noise that you hear in movies came out of the whiteness.
"Exscuse me Prince Charming but if I may suggest. The entities in the Afterlife are a busy crew so might I examine their scheduals and simply summon those who are free?" Charming was flushing so badly his face hurt and he refused to show that to Morri, sneaky basterd was plotting something he was sure of it.
"Um, yeah, I mean yes Morri, that would be fine."
"Done then, just let me see who..." He flipped rapidly through the book. "Oh dear only one entity is free to help you at the moment...but the others have a few gifts for you." Charming loved the word 'gift' he whirled around with his hands held out.
"Oh yeah gimme the presents!" Morri looked faintly disgusted but handed them over.
"These are Time Bombs courtesy of Father Time. You simply throw one and duck while time freezes still in the area of effect. Their quite potent so you might want to get out of the way." Morri handed Charming a belt that had several camofulage alarm clocks on it. Charming snapped it on while he wrinkled his lip in distaste. It was so tacky.
But the next gift was even worse. "The Fates each sent you something. First is a skein from Clotho, second is a ruler from Lachesis, and last is a pair of golden scissors from Atropos." Morri handed Charming a ball of silken string, a small glass ruler, and a pair of golden safty scissors. "Tie one end of the thread of Fate to the gates of Hell. The ruler will tell you how close you are to Cyre and then, once you find her, how far you are from the exit. Don't worry only those scissors Atropos sent you can cut the thread."
"Okay is that all I'm kinda in a rush." Morri simply held up his hand.
"No the Fairy Godmother's sent you this." Morri held out a bag of pixy dust. "All you need to do is think of something and thow a pinch of powder. It'll do that to your foe." Charming tied the poweder onto his waist. "And Santa sent you this." Morri extened a small sack which Charming quickly dumped everything into, surprisingly the sack got no bigger or heavier. "And this last gift is from the easter bunny."
Morri then held out to him the most hedious fashion accessory ever created by the mind of a warped toymaker from Uzbeckistan. "It's an Easter Bonnet."
"No way, not even in Hell, am I going to wear a bonnet."
"Not bonnet. B.O.N.N.E.T. Bio-Organic, Neural, Networking, Enemy, Tracker. This baby can tell you if Satan himself is trying to sneak up behind you, tell you how to get by him in three easy lessons, and do your taxes all at the same time. It also has a built in Easy Bake Oven for all those little snacking emergencies." Before Charming could protest Morri tied it on firmly.
He was about to say things couldn't get any worse when Morri said, "There's only one finale gift. He snapped his fingers and suddenly Charming was wrapped in tinfoil covered asbestos from B.O.N.N.E.T to boots. "The various other entities in Afterlife send you this flame retardant garmet...very useful in Hell."
"Can you just get on with giving me my companion? I'd like to get to Hell sometime before it freezes over." As Morri turned back to his little black book Charming tried to shake off this nagging feeling he was missing something...then he realized what it was. "Pink!"
"Excuse me?"
"Pink, Cupid didn't send anything."
"That's because I'm coming with you." Charming turned around and shuddered in horror. Cupid was wearing a pink velvet track suit with bright red stripes down the sides. His bow was a cute little golden piece of artwork that couldn't throw a spit wad ten inches and his arrows were about as sharp as a circle. Charming slapped himself in the face.
"Why him?"
"He was the only one free."
Cupid clapped Charming on the back. "Come on Charm. Haven't you ever heard the old adage that love conqures hate."
"For safety's sake you better hope so. Let's get this over with Morri. I can already hear the laughter echoing."
"Oh, one last thing. Cyre forgot this at home. You might want to bring it to her." Morri tossed him a small silver charm braclet that he quietly tucked into the sack. Then,before you could say ha, Charming found himself standing infront of a pair of massive black gates carved all over with obsenites. He swollowed his fear, and his pride, before tying the thread to one of the massive polls.
"This is the biggest mistake of my life." Cupid laughed at him. "What's so funny."
"You don't even have a life Charming...you're dead." Suddenly he became very serious. "Now enough talk. Let's go save my honey bunches!" With that he charged, bow drawn, into hell. A few moments later his quiver, bow, and the smoldering remains of his track suit were tossed back out.
Charming turned to run but before he could a long, slimy tenticle reached out from beyond the gates and wrapped around him. As he scrabbled to remaine outside Hell he managed to pick up Cupids bow and arrows. He strapped them on and then prayed to God that he remembered everything his archery instructer had ever said.
Then, with a sense of calm that sometimes happens when you're absolutly scared shitless, he turned and fired an arrow back at whatever had him by the waist. There was an anguished cry of pain an, just as he passed over into Hell, the B.O.N.N.E.T activated showing him the massive Cuthulu style demon lord that had been hiding behind the door.
The path behind him, clearly marked 'Dante's Inferno' burned neon and bright. Then, suddenly, off to his right, Charming heard a strange kind of choral snarling as though several dogs were growling in unison. Big dogs at that. With his bowls like water and his knees like jelly, Charming turned to face his right.
Six glowing pairs of eyes stared down upon him from a height of thirty feet. A small white line with a sign that said 'Do Not Cross' was only inches away. Suddenly a massive head moved into the light followed soon after by two more. The beast inched closer, jaws slavering massive buckets full of drool, and Charming finally realized what was standing only a few feet away.
Cerberus, guardian of the Gates of Hell, let loose a frenzied barking that would have chilled a demon's blood. Charming could see he was chained to something but many coils of loose chain were still piled around his feet. Just behind him, another passage marked 'To Lower Levels' was visible.
Now he had a choice. He could head for Dante's Inferno, why hadn't he read that book, or he could try to descend lower into hell. He had to make his decision fast or else...soon, somebody was going to respond to Cerberus and he wasn't ready to face demons on his own yet.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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Wooo yeah! To Hell! (and back?)
Go to Mr. Dantes inferno. Just 'cos it sounds cool. Well, hot.
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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Ohboy! Him and Cupid, to save Cyre? She's going to end up rescuing them!
Throw a time bomb and get past the pooch to the lower levels. Dante's Inferno is too obvious, it's bound to be trouble
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:55 am Post subject: |
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Cupid is no longer with us...mourn him if you must...
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:37 am Post subject: |
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| Don't forget to tie the thread. Could he start down one passage and measure it then go back an try the other. Then go down whichever one brings him closer to his target?
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:12 am Post subject: |
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Very entertaining chapter Kalanna - love the B.O.N.N.E.T
I'm thinking he needs to continue down. There are many levels of Hell and it's unlikely she's being held in the high ones.
Keep it coming and ...
Happy Writing
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:12 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Cupid is no longer with us |
So love is dead? How sad. Still, we will always have money.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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Poll's up vote noW!
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 1:10 am Post subject: Chapter Nine: Evil Doors! |
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It was tied between the club and the lower levels so I made and executive decision...No whineing
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Chapter Nine: Evil Doors!
He didn't think about what he was doing. If he thought about it he might just soil his drawers right there. Instead he grabbed on of Father Time's fugly camo alarm clocks and hurled it at the massive beast from Greek mythos. "Fetch boys!" Cerberus bounded off with a happy yelp and was caught mid-leap as the bomb went off.
Charming didn't even wait for the smoke to clear before charging across the suddenly clear landing to the passage. "Ha! That'll teach you to mess with me! I've got opposable thumbs stupid!" He wiggled his thumbs at Cerberus and promptly screamed as he slipped on dog drool and went wizzing down the slick passage floor.
He landed in a heap on some shockingly ugly tile that looked as though it hadn't been cleaned in thousands of years. With a groan he shoved himself up and surveyed his ripped tinfoil armor, fat lot of good this was going to do him. Quietly he took out the bag of pixy dust. "If it works on them it'll work on me." Taking a pinch he sprinkled some on him, clearly invisioning some flame-retardent armor.
He got retarded armor. It stuck out at odd angles and clinked a bit. It was bright pink and covered in heart shaped desings for reasons unknown. Next to him pranced a white charger in full barding, also with the heart pattern, and a standard with a white heart lay across the saddle bow. "Damn you fairy god mothers! What do you think this is? A fairytale!"
Yet there was nothing he could do but put the dust back, mount the horse, and hope he could use the standard as a weapon. With a sigh he turned his mount to face down the long hallway. There was no going back now. He doubted there ever had been. Suddenly a chuckling noise was heard from somewhere behind him.
The B.O.N.N.E.T didn't register any enemies but then it hadn't alerted him to the Cuthulu demon lord in time either. "Hey hansome, remember me, Cupids bow? I think it's time for a talk." With shaking hands Charming brought the bow around to face him, looking in mild disgust upon the gaudy thing.
"What do you want, I'm a little busy at the moment. Quest to save Cyre and all..."
"Yeah, yeah. If you'll shut up so I can get a word in edgewise. Now then, my name is Psyche and if you want I can help you out down here. Just because Cupid is dead dosen't mean I become garage sale fodder buddy so don't try to treat me like it."
"You can help huh? Like how?" The bow quivered in his hand with surpressed rage, he could here it muttering something darkly in the language of weaponry.
"Well I did kill that demon back there for you, although I was a little confused at the time. That's why I'm asking you if you want my help now. As for what I can do well I'm the only magical weapon you've go...unless you want to use the pixy dust again." Charming shuddered.
"But I've got fate's scissors."
"Oh yeah, safety scissors. What are you going to do with them, beat a demon to death?" Charming flushed bright red. "Now me on the other hand...well I'm quite deadly down here. Unfortunately my former master was a complete moron...not like your much better."
"Fine I accept your help." The bow brightened.
"You don't want to hear the terms and conditions?"
"No, I just want to get on with it."
"Then kiss me and I'm yours." Charming felt a little silly kissing the bow but he gave it a chaste brush of his lips. "That the best you can do? I had expected greatness from 'Prince Charming' but nooo. Still it's better than nothing. What now?"
"How 'bout you stop talking and start looking dangerous." The bow quivered again and the next thing he knew he was holding a massive golden recurve bow that looked something like a heart when pulled back. Spines protruded like razors here and there. "So if I run out of ammo I can beat someone over the head with you."
"Try it and see how long it takes for me to rip your hands to shreds pretty boy." Charming decided on to anger Psyche anymore. He simply attached her to his saddle, within easy reach and began to ride down the hall. It didn't seem to end and he didn't seem to be getting anywhere. Infact all he saw were the same doors, in different positions, just swirling by on the wall.
A sign on the wall read Hell Level One: Hall of Evil Doors. Evil Doors? Was Satan slipping or just crazy. What could be evil about a door? Pulling out his ruler Charming looked to see how far he was from Cyre. It read Colder than a witchs boob in a brass bra. Great they were playing hot and cold.
"What am I going to do?"
"Try opening doors genious! Why do I always get stuck with the stupid ones. For once can't I get someone who's got all the physical qualifications and something more than dust between his ears."
"Hey! I resent that remark! What would you know, you're just a piece of curved metal and string." Psyche didn't respond and Charming realized he was going to have to try the doors, whether he wanted to or not.
He trotted his horse to the first door, a vile looking thing that seemed to be covered in frogskin. He opened it and nearly fell out of his saddle when a crazed mad man shoved an ugly, warty, diseased toad in his face. "Quick - lick the toad, before it's too late!" Charming slammed the door in disgust.
The next door seemed normal enough until he tried opening it. The next thing he knew they were all zooming through space. The moon shattered as they blew past it and suddenly they were dumped back out the door and into the hallway. "Well that wasn't it."
"You don't say." Charming rolled his eyes and tried another door. Beyond was a forest like any other...then suddenly ghostly self-weilding axes began to chop into time. Shades of the dead wandered amoung the trees, screeching out in pain and rage. Yet as the trees wailed all the banshee's could do was cry. Saddened by Satan's cruelty Charming shut that door too.
Another door proved to open into a storage room for strange magical creatures. Charming liked the looks of some of them, they were so cute and fuzzy, until they suddenly attacked. The bi-corn tried to dissect him, and the mermaid seemed to be half phiranna. With a snarl the jackalope lunged at his neck. He barely escaped with his life.
"Maybe I should use the ruler." He pulled it out again and aimed it at the last door. The heart of a glacier, but you're getting warmer With trepidation he reached for the door and charged through before he could reconsider his course of action. In the center of the room stood a knight in bloodstained armor. He rolliked in the sastisfaction imparted by the blood-curdling screams at the end of his sword.
As he impailed yet another person Charming's vision ran red. For the second time in his afterlife he drew Psyche, knocked an arrow, and fired. The knight gave one shrill scream and exploded, taking all light in the room with him. "Great genius, you blew a circut. Find the breaker box and flip the switch will ya."
Charming, however, had already reached into the sack for the bag of pixy dust. He sprinkled a pinch in the air, thinking let there be light, and hoping to feel a flashlight in his hand. Instead a small sun poofed out of nothingness. He surveyed the room and, as the sun rose only the sword remained. The knight was well and truely gone.
He trotted his horse to the other side of the room and noticed a single door that read Hell Level 2 but the rest was scratched out long ago... Charming knew he had to go that way but he couldn't help but wonder...what was in the second level of hell...?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 1:15 am Post subject: |
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Excellent stuff! I assume charming is now the new Cupid? Hehe.
Go down why not.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 1:17 am Post subject: |
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Too bad he hasn't figured it out yet eh China...maybe he should have heard those terms and conditions.
Oh well, maybe he didn't miss anything too important...then again maybe he did...
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 1:18 am Post subject: |
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*grins* Hell is definitely going up in my estimation. I like it
And the only way is down - so let's go!
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:13 am Post subject: |
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Very entertaining (and random )
As the stoaty said - the only way is down.
Keep it coming.
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:59 am Post subject: |
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He ha very nice
And I found Bob here too
EDIT: And again I found Bob here.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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Who is Bob? I didn't remember adding any Bobs...
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 5:29 am Post subject: |
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Bob the Apedog...city mascot at large. Read about Bob here.
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 11:54 am Post subject: |
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Polling Vote now!
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 1:48 am Post subject: |
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Woo! another good story caught up on.
I love the storyline in this one, although I can't help wondering if Cupid is really dead - after all, love conquers all, and even death cannot stop true love - only slow it down a little.
But you've got to do down, either way - you're on an express elevator to Hell! (OK, tooooo many movie quotes)
Last edited by Stubby on Wed Mar 15, 2006 1:29 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 10:43 am Post subject: |
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Oh yes death can stop true love...but you're making me get ahead of myself....
Oh and Stubby, life's too short, slow down when you die...
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| Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 7:49 pm Post subject: Chapter Ten: The CarnEVIL. |
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Okay so I couldn't wait till tomorrow sorry Stoat...
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Chapter Ten: The CarnEVIL.
Shaking with trepidation, wow that was a big word for him, he urged his charger through the open doorway and into the angled tunnel to level two. As he descended something began to assault his ears. "Is that music Pysche?"
The bow shuddered. "If I had fingers they'd be stuffed in my ears right about now."
"You have ears?" The bow twitched.
"Just keep talking funnyboy, just keep talking." Charming wisely kept his mouth shut yet he couldn't block out the sound. It was horrible, awful, and strangely familier. It wasn't until he noticed the words on the sixth garish banner, he'd sort of 'missed' the others being more concerned with picking his nostril, that he realized what it was.
"It's carnival music!" A noise from just behind him made Charming jump, which isn't easy to do in full armor in the saddle of a horse and has unpleasent consequences as he found out. Turning gingerly he noticed a squat ugly demon in striped carny clothes was mubling at him. "Take that rat out of your mouth. I can't understand a word you're saying!"
The demon chewed on the rat for a few seconds before swollowing it in one gulp and offered an apologetic smile before launching into a corney speech he'd said a thousand times before at least. "It's not a carnival, its the CarnEVIL!" With that he pointed to the sevent garish banner which read, in neon orange letters Hell Level Two: The CarnEVIL
"Oh great," sighed Psyche. "and I suppose there's some sort of twisted version of the Tunnel of Love in here somewhere isn't there?" The demon shook his head.
"No ma'am. The Boss can't interfear with love ya know...lust...well that's another matter but not love. That's you peoples department." He looked back at Charming. "Now Mr. Cupid, normally there's a small entrance fee..."
"What!" Charming squeaked. Surely there was some mistake, Cupid was dead. Yet the demon just rushed on, clearly agitated at the thought of losing a customer.
"Yeah, normally we charge one soul per admittance but since it's your first visit you can go on in for free." The demon swept aside the curtain and patted the charger on the rump. Well he tried to pat the charger on the rump but the moment his slime covered scaley hand got close the horse bolted. "Have an evil time!" The demon called out cheerfully.
For a few moments the vile music assaulted his ears in an eerie way, making his toes tap as though it was the most irrisistable siren song on earth. His charger, becoming increasingly annoyed by his jerky, almost dance movements, because you can't really dance in full armor mounted on a charger, nickered something plaintivly to Pysche.
"Uh, Charming, the horse politely asks that you either get off his back while we go through here or says you can travel the rest of the way on foot." Charming blushed bright red. The music was truly dreadful - and still he couldn't stop dancing. It had to be one of Satan's evil tricks...he really was slipping wasn't he?
He dismounted and began to lead the charger through the brilliantly colored booths, trying in vain to ignore the barkers as they advertised some of the weirdest things ever.
"Malignant toothpaste! Yes get your toothpaste of doom here!"
"Anti-anitfungal cream! Garunteed to make any fungus grow anywhere!"
"Ugli fruit! Come and get your misshapen tangelos here!" Charming walked over to that demon and raised an eyebrow. Under his scrutiney the demon first nervously sweated then snapped. "Yeah, yeah, I know there's really nothing evil or malficient about them, they're actually tasty and delicious but hey, not all products are winners. I don't get to pick what I sell I just sell it."
Still Charming couldn't help smirking...until he wandered into the midway. There were posters everywhere advertising normal things like they were freaks. However, there were a few things that really made him shiver...just from the crowds reactions.
"See the Smee! It's an old British wizard that summons bubbles for entertainment!"
"The Soiled One! He's covered in loam and his mind is five times as filthy!"
"An Albino Stoat! No don't touch little boy, it might make you laugh!"
Charming could only wonder what those things if they made monster things like gorgans, he covered his eyes when he neared them, chimera, arch fiends, and average demons shudder in absolute horror.
He'd been walking, having grown to exhausted to dance, for what seemed like hours before Pysche piped up. "Yo geinus? You are on a rescue mission or did you forget?" Flushing Charming glared at the bow.
"You're lucky I need you. When this is all over I'm going to find the nearest Wishing well in Aftelife and drop you down it."
"I'd just find you again...we're together forever...or until something kills you." Charming looked at the bow.
"Ha! When this is all over I'm headed to Heaven for some much needed R&R and you, my splinter laden piece of insolent firewood, are going to the next Cupid." The speech would have been more impressive if Charming hadn't tripped while he tried to say it and landed full on his face.
Pysche laughed so hard a faint pink nimbus ringed her. "You really are dense arn't you? Newsflash stupid YOU ARE the new Cupid. Remember you kissed me but did you want to hear the terms and conditions noooo..." The truth hit him like a rain of cold halibut...he was Cupid.
Right then and there he dropped to his knees and lifted his face toward the cave celeing with his arms spread wide and his gauntleted finger knarled into claws. "NOOOOOOO...." His charger resolutely broke him out of his moment of self pity by thwaping him across the face with it's tail.
For a moment Charming spluttered on horsehair then kneeled in the mud like a broken doll. The demons that had gathered around him clapped and whistled, throwing golden coins at him before wandering off.
"Who knew Cupid was such a talented preformer?"
"Yeah I thought it was all love and mush with him but hey, who says love don't cause pain?"
"Um, pity party of one you're companions would like to continue their pointless rescue mission. They'd like you to accompany them." Slowly Charming, er Cupid, stood and pulled out the magic ruler, aiming it in all directions till it's answer turned from zzzzzzz to This way stupid. He continued to follow it's directions until he found himself standing infront of a huge, sinister dunk tank.
"Come one, come all and try your hand at dunking the archfiend! Yes that's right, Morlag, the Ringmaster, is waiting for you to dunk him. Charming, er Cupid, took one look at the outfit the 'Ringmaster' was wearing and nearly fainted.
"I could forgive the leopardskin handbag - but the furry dice earrings?" He whispered behind his hand to Pysche. The bow snickered in agreement. Suddenly the barker demon looked at him with greedily glittering eyes.
"Oh, look! A celebrity! Uglies and gerbalmen it seems that Cupid himself is going to try his hand at the Dunk Tank of Despair! Will love prevail?" Quietly Charming, er Cupid damn I am going to have to remember that, put one of his hard earned coins, from his 'street preformance' into the demon's greedy hand after the ruler told him Yeah it's this way are you blind or something.
Taking his three balls he hurled them at the target one at a time. He remembered times in life when he'd done this and was one of the best anyone had ever encountered. Yet though the three balls struck dead center on the target the platform refused to fall. Slowly he spent all his coins until he had only one shot left and all the demons around him were snickering. "Well are you going to hurry up and throw that or are we going to stand here for all eternity?"
"One second." Charming, er...oh forget it, wandered over to where Pysche pulsed faintly on the side of his saddle. "What?"
"They're cheating."
"Is there anything you'd like to point out that isn't blindingly obvious?" The bow huffed and puffed for a moment before answering.
"You've got one shot left. If you fixed the ball on the tip of one of your arrows and fired it from me you might just make the demon take a swim." Grinning evilly Charming did just that and chuckled a little as the two demons exchanged nervous glances.
Before the barker could stop him Charming took aim and fired, whooping with joy as the bell rang, the tank lit up, and Morlag took a swim, furry dice earrings and all. He was forced to cut short his victory celebration when the barker began shouting. "Cheat! Cheat! Hurry and catch him before he get's away!"
Charming was in the saddle in a second, the charger pounding away toward the portal that had appeared where the dunk tank had been...only to balk at the shrill screams that echoed up from the other side. Behind him, angery carnies were ganging up to take him on. He had to get to the third level...but this portal didn't say anything about being the right way to go.
What if the ruler only ment that he had to walk past the dunk tank? Yet already the carnies were cutting off his escape routes...it was becoming the dunk tank portal or nothing.
Charming only had one word for the situation. "Crap..."
-----------------------
Well what happens now?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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Well, if it's dunk tank or nothing, I suggest dunk tank
Entertaining chapter, Kal!
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Stubby
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:19 am Post subject: |
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I wanna see him try to swim in gunge in full armour!
*grin*
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Smee
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:49 am Post subject: |
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*appears inside a large blue bubble*
Entertaining chapter Kalanna
Only one way to go though - has he got time for one last ruler check?
If not - through the portal with Cupid.
Happy Writing
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Last edited by Smee on Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:50 am; edited 1 time in total
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:49 am Post subject: |
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Nice, I would write more but I can't concentrate because I have a massive toothache just now.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:19 am Post subject: |
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Good luck with that evil toothache China and don't worry, the story will still be here when it's gone...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 12:17 am Post subject: |
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New poll now you vote!
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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I just read this story from beginning to end and loved it the whole way through. Voted for the portal, because they are such lovely inventions...and demons are not.
Wait...that didn't make any sense...oh well.
Good luck with SGotM!
_________________
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Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Dfire and luck to you and Uncertain Quests as well...
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| Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 10:11 pm Post subject: Chapter Eleven: The Unbeauty Pagent |
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Personally I never thought the story would get this big but here's chapter eleven Yay!
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Chapter Eleven: The Unbeauty Pagent
Given the choices of facing an angery mob or swimming in full plate armor Charming was about to consinge himself to a hero's death. Unfortunately for him his charger had other ideas. With a wild snort and a ferocious whinny, it charged into the portal from which the horrible, blood curdling screams echoed.
They whirled and sloshed, jiggled up and down, and then promptly fell out the other side of the portal, soaking wet and starting to rust in tender spots...Charming sat dazed and confused, which was a bit normal for him, on the stone floor for a moment then, squinting through his visor and sodden hair, said quietly to his charger. "I don't doubt that you're comfortable but could you GET...OFF...ME..." His words trailed away into a wheeze when the horse swung it's massive rear off of him.
He stood up and surveyed his now squashed armor, he looked something like one of those expensive foil wrapped candies that one has carried in ones armpit for too long. With a curse and a mutter he tried to struggle out of it, finding that he was in desperate need of heeding the call of nature, and failed.
"Need a can opener oh charming one?" If Pysche had eyelashes she would have fluttered them on that statement, Charming only cursed at her then, while he did that 'I really need a restroom jig', looked at her with wide eyes and plaintively said,
"Don't mention the word 'can'." The horse whickered, or was that snickered, and walked over to nudge the bag Santa had given him. "Oh right, the pixy dust...wait a second...remember what that stuff did the last time I used it?" But Charming's moment of good sense was overruled by his insistant bladder.
"Here genious let me help." Slowly Psyche did something Charming would have thought impossible. She moved one of her 'arms' into the sack and pulled out the pixy dust. Quick as lightning Charming grabbed the bag and dumped the whole lot out, not caring where it landed or who it hit.
There was a blinding flash and then, when the smoke cleared, Charming walked over to a wall and promptly relieved himself against it. "That's better now...Oh my GOD! What happened!" Where the puffy little white charger and it's simple cloth barding had stood there was now a raident warhorse, in pink plate armor!
His own armor, laying in a neat heap next to the ready for action mount, was definetly that of the 'shining' kind. He walked over and touched it, momentarily engulfed in light and sound, and it magically attached itself to him. "Psyche! Psyche were are you?" He looked around quickly and smacked his head on something large, white, feathery, and attached to him.
"Ouch! Dammit what the hell are these? Wings?" He walked over to the sheild that hung off his charger's saddle and looked at himself. Spreading out behind him, like a mantel of snow or bad dandruff, were two massive white wings. "Holy Heart-shaped blunders! What have I done!"
"I was just asking my self a similar question...only mine was what should I do to you?" Glancing down at his waist, where Psyche's icey voice had come from, he found only a plain scabbard and a longsword with a red heart-shaped gem for a pommel stone.
"Psyche?"
"No your momma! Of course it's me! What did I suddenly develope evil twin syndrom or something!" For a moment Charming stood stunned. Here he was, standing in a tunnel somewhere between the second and third levels of Hell, wearing shining armor, riding a white war-horse even though he still thought of it as a charger, and weilding a magic sword.
"This has been a rough week for me. Monday I wake up, do the hygiene thing, and decide to go for a drive then suddenly...poof! I'm dead, the angel of death hates my guts, and I end up running around hell as Cupid and the knight in Shining armor all rolled into one!"
Pysche was silent a moment. "Well that's what you get for being Prince Charming isn't it?" Charming opened his mouth to yell at her when something chimed in Santa's sack. Reaching in he pulled out Fate's ruler which was ringing at him. "Well arn't you going to answer it?" Psyche said in a dry voice.
Putting it to his ear he swollowed what was left of his pride, and it wasn't much. "Hello?"
"This is the voice of reason speaking...GET MOVING STUPID. With that Chronos hung up.
"Well what'd it say?"
"Father time told me to get moving."
"I'd take his advice. Those screams arn't lessening any and we still havn't found Cyre...or found a way to change me back since you used all the dust in that idiotic move back there." Flushing bright red Charming swung into the saddle and clicked the horse into motion. With a resentful jerk of it's head it started off down the passage.
This time Charming's sharp eyes, well actually he was bored and just staring at anything that jumped out infront of them, picked out the sign that read Hell Level Four: The Unbeauty Pagent! Enter Here! There was a small drop box under the sign and no other obvious entrance.
Charming trotted the charger over to the box and was looking around for an entry form when he felt a peculier sensation. The next thing he knew, Psyche, the horse, and himself were all folded into a neat rectangle and shoved through the slot by unseen forces that laughed maliciously as the three of them screamed, or whinnied in the chargers case.
The next thing he knew Charming was sitting atop his horse back stage at the literal beauty pagent from hell. The contestants were the ugliest things he'd ever seen. The back hair off of any one of them would have doubled as shag carpet and the beards they sported made ZZ Top look well groomed. But that wasn't the worst...the outfits were the worst.
"Shield your eyes!" Psyche screamed and twitched her hilt so that it was hidden behind on of Charming's massive wings. The charger threw it's head until it's forelock hung over it's eyes like blinders and Charming resolutely shut his visor. A squat mustard colored demon with huge reddish brown warts, or he hoped they were warts, and garish neon purple lipstick wandered over too where he sat.
"Ohhh that armor...it'll never do. Too shiny, to spotless, not dented enough. And the horse, no no no all wrong. See look, it's healthy, well groomed, perfectly built...yet again something eye pleasing. And you...well lift that visor."
"You couldn't pay me enough to do that..."
"From the look of it you're just passing through here on some grand quest right?" Charming cautiously nodded. The demoness cackled and rubbed her hands. "Well if you want to move on to the next lowest level then you're gonna have to win the pagent." Charming's jaw dropped.
"Oh no...I thought I escaped all that beauty pagent shit..." The demoness laughed, her huge belly threatening to rip the orange plastic mini sheath dress that covered her and tottered off on her dayglow orange heels.
"You and everyone else that comes this way boy! I'll not be wasting eternity on you...you've got to do it yourself." Charming cursed again. If only he'd not wasted that pixy dust. He pulled off his helmt and heard a gasp from the other side of the stage. An extremely beautiful young woman wandered over.
"Oh I thought I was the only one left. The others, they all drank the potion and became...well just look at them...but not you." She gave him those big googoo eyes and batted her lashes. Pysche chuckled.
"One day on the job and you're already making 'friends'. Whatever will I do with you?" Charming blushed a brilliant crimson and swung down from the saddle. He gavet the beauty a cold stare, remembering all the encounters with hot women he'd had in the past seven days.
"First, I'm not here to save you. Second, if I do find a way out I'm not taking you with me. Third, quit drooling on my greaves!" The woman had indeed been drooling on his plate mail boots and he took a quick step back as she burst into tears.
"I HATE you!" Charming looked stunned as Psyche let out a yell of joy!
"Of course! If the purpose of the pagent is to be as repulsive and unattractive as can be then you have a definite advantage." Looking again at himself in the polished sheild and, finding himself to be the same painfully hansom man as before, unsheathed Pysche and inspected her for the 'rust spots of insanity' that must be forming.
"Moron! You're the incarnation of Love! That means you can either make people fall in love or you can take love away! You should get around to reading the training manule somtime! Anywho, as beauty and love go hand in hand and beauty is in the eye of the beholder all you need to do is walk out there and wave me around. I'll make you look so 'ugly' in their eyes you'll win for sure."
It wasn't much of a plan but there was no way in or out of Hell that Charming was going to do anything to jepordize his flawless good looks. He mounted up, put on his visior, and stood in line with the other contestants. The demoness took one look at him and chuckled. "Fine then! Rot here for eternity with the rest of those who are too vain to put up with a little bad looks."
"You'll be laughing out the other side of your, erm, face when I'm done here!" She only laughed again and began calling the contestants one by one. Charming became nervous, the horse became nervous, Psyche became board, and the horrible screams from the crowd continued as each new contestant wandered out and did something gross and disgusting.
Finally Charming was called out. There was silence as he rode to the middle of the stage, then he drew Psyche. Well drew is a generous term. What he actually did is try to rip her out of her sheath, lose control of her as she shot out of his grip, and juggle her around in the air while the horse shifted nervously benieth him.
The crowd gasped and shrieked in delight, obviously hoping he'd skewer himself or the horse and bleed allover the stage. But Charming's luck, if it could be called that held. Finally he caught hold of her and she blazed with a sickening pink light. For a moment nothing happened. Then the crowd shrieked in a thunderous roar and the judges, fingers stuffed so far into their ears that the wax that rolled out formed perfect candles on their shoulders, roared something that was lost in the crowd noise.
"What did you say?"
"We said GET OUT!" With that they opened a massive portal and shoved him threw it using pink yard flamingos and those novelty painted ties on massive neon green ptichforks to make him get the point. Not knowing if this was the portal out or some kind of cell for eternal torment Charming was forced into the blank wall of darkness without so much as one word of protest.
However he still held Psyche aloft, and she still glowed with a gentle pink light which was good because otherwise he'd have been as blind as a bat with coke bottle glasses in a tanning bed. Slowly, listening to the plink...plink...plink of what he hoped was drippin water, he ventured deeper into the tunnel.
After what seemed like an eternity he came to a fork in the tunnel. It seemed to be a giant salad fork, approximately fifteen feet high and made of silver...or was it titainium he couldn't tell. Sitting on the top, which was sculped to look like the head of the greek god Apollo, was a bored looking raven.
Slowly Charming pulled out the ruler and aimed it at each of the four fork tines, trying to see which way was the way out but the ruler only said They'll all get you there, ask the stupid bird which way is fastest I'm busy right now! Charming apprihensivly eyed the Raven.
"Um hello?" The bird ruffled it's feathers and stared at Charming with it's beady little sleepy demon eyes. "Which way is the fastest way out?"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore..."
Great! His one way out and it was...well it's answer seemed familier. Still talking to the stupid bird could waste more time than the short route would gain him. Still the ruler had said to talk to the bird...but it also said all the ways would get him there. He could always just wing it? Charming slumped in his saddle. This just wasn't his day...
------------------------
Well....?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 1:33 am Post subject: |
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| Forget the bird. Just take the way that looks easiest. Charming seems to be the sort who'd go for the easy life, given the choice
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 1:49 am Post subject: |
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Yeah. Eenie, meenie, miinie, moe seems more his style ...
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"Music makes you braver."
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:29 am Post subject: |
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Great chapter Kalanna,
I'm more inclined to try and get more from the bird. He's been pretty damn hopeless at listening to, or finding out instructions. When he has actually found something out it's been to his advantage.
"They'll all get you there" is also rather inspecific. I could get to work each morning if I head towards London, swing around the M25 and come back again, but that certainly isn't the best thing to do.
The ruler says speak to the bird, so speak to the bird. Either that or give the Ruler a good shake seem if it doesn't say something more helpful.
Happy Writing
P.S He should get some practice with those wings as well - they may be required very soon.
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren
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Stubby
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| Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 6:03 am Post subject: |
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Lets see, we have a nice fat raven, sitting there looking arrogant, and an extremely effective magical weapon.
Anyone hungry? I'm sure we could get a nice fire going.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 6:55 am Post subject: |
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I'll agree with Stubby there. Then the ruler will have to tell us something a little more useful
Besides we just spoke to the stupid bird.
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:24 pm Post subject: |
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Catch the bird and pluck his feathers out one by one till he tells you what you need to know.
Ok, maybe not...but you probably should talk to him more.
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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Just when you thought I was going to fade quietly into nonexsistence here I am demanding youVote Now!!!
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"Music makes you braver."
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Hmm my suggestion got split off by itself instead of kill the bird to force the ruler to give him a better answer
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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Yup, I liked the idea of trying to torture a ruler into giving a better answer...
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| Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 11:34 pm Post subject: Chapter Twelve: No! Not Michael Jackson!! |
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Okay it was a three way tie so I tried to make everyone happy...so it's not my fault if I failed miserably....
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Chapter Twelve: No! Not Michael Jackson!!
Charming slumped in his saddle so deeply that he didn't realize he was falling out of it until it was too late. With a loud rattle he landed in a tangled, tin heap on the tunnel floor. For a moment he couldn't hear much over the ringing in his ears...then he became aware that that supid raven was cawing. Not just cawing but laughing at him in it's ravenly manner.
"I'm going to give you three seconds to give me the correct answer to the question 'which way do I go' before I start with the torment." The bird looked at him with an 'I'm busy you're ugly have a nice day' look, opened it's little black beak and said....
"Nevermore." With a cry like someone who's just realized that they've been eating laxitive laced brownies, Charming drew Psyche from her scabbard and proceeded to get mideval on the crow's ass. Feather's flew like a cat in a pillow factory and the pathetic cry's of 'Nevermore!' rang out hollowly on the tunnel walls.
Finally, when he'd quiet exhausted himself, Charming looked at his handy work. There, laying on the tunnel floor, was the plucked corpse of the raven, slowly cooking in the heat. "Well you've really cooked your goose, er raven, now! How are we supposed to get out of here!"
Charming looked at the raven, his stomach rumbled but he decided against eating the bird for two reasons. One this was Hell, you didn't eat while here. Two ravens were only one step removed from crows and who want's to eat crow. Then, as Psyche's rant continued, he finally snapped. "Oh shut up." He rammed her into her scabbard with an air of finality then he sized the ruler.
"Alright you insolent sliver of wormwood! You give me a straight answer or I'm feeding you to the fires of Hell, gift from Fate or not!" The ruler trembled in his hands. Ruler. Ha that's a straight answer isn't it! Charming had an odd sense of deja vu. Was this journey getting so boring that the jokes were getting repetative. Not for the first time he wondered what sick, twisted force motivated his actions.
With a dark glower upon his face Charming was about to show the ruler the meaning of the words 'tought love'. "This isn't gonna be pretty but believe me. It's gonna hurt both of us in the long run...but it's gonna hurt you worse."
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Some hours later the ruler had been humiliated in every possible way. It had been scorched, stomped, tromped, singed, burned, shaved, splintered, scratched, chopped, cut, nailed, bolted, soiled, sullied, branded, and broken in a million pieces only to have to reassemble it's self since none but the Fates could do anything permenant to it. Charming paced around it like a circling shark.
"Well? Are you going to talk? I'm not normally this nasty but you've got to understand where I'm coming from. I've been in Hell so long I'll never be able to wash the stench out of my hair, I'm dirty, tired, hungery, thirsty, pissed, and no closer to finding my friend than I was last chapter...whoa where'd that come from?" Charming scratched his head trying to fingure out why he'd said that then shrugged. Thinking had never been his strong suit.
The ruler weakly shimmered and coughed up one answer...The bird was right. Read the tines on the fork, pick the tine of Nevermore. It'll get you where you're going. Puzzled in earnest Charming dropped the ruler back into the little sack. He walked over to the tines and looked at them closely. Sure enough each tine was neatly inscribed with a flowing script.
The first tine said Some More, the second Anymore, the third Can I have some more, and the fourth No More. "That damned ruler! There is no tine of never more!" Then, as if struck by a bolt of lightning when, in fact it was a rock falling from the ceiling, Charming shouted "Eureaka!"
"I've got it. The tine 'No More'! Nevermore and No More are practically the same thing!" Quickly he mounted his charger, grabbed Psyche, and touched her to the tine. The floor suddenly lowered until they were standing in total darkness. A voice suddenly flooded the small space.
Welcome to the Secret Chute to Level Four! We, the Administration, ask that you please keep all valuble appendages inside the ride at all time because you won't finish the ride with them otherwise. Now, without further ado, enjoy the ride! And the floor suddenly tilted out from underneith them sending them on what could only be called the 'Waterslide from Hell'.
They spun around and around in the filthy water, or they hoped it was water, and their screams echoed chillingly off the walls. It was all up down, around and around, a steep climb that suddenly turned into what seemed like a thousand foot drop that shot them into a drain-like spiral and then into another thousand foot drop that turned into a gentle slide that left them on another patch of soild ground.
Thank you for riding the Secret Chute to Level Four! Here's your souvenier photo. An 8x10 glossy was extended on a mechanical arm and Charming snagged it before the arm could charge him an arm and a leg for it.
"Aww. My eye's are closed." In the photo Charming's eyes were indeed closed, the horse was in the process of soiling it's self, and Psyche's hilt was buried in a bag uncerimoniusly marked 'BARF'. The sword flushed bright pink.
"Well at least I didn't wet myself...which is more than the two of you can say." Charming dropped Psyche accidentally on purpose into the large, stinking mound of manure that had followed them off the chute. When she'd had a chance to splutter and flail, it's actually funny to watch a sword flail, he pulled her out again.
"You look pretty soiled to me." The horse snickered and Psyche muttered darkly. With a victorious chuckle, Charming mounted the horse again and sent him off down the tunnel...they hadn't gone far when the door to level four appeared. It was pretty average, the door to any corner shop you might visit. It had a metal frame around clear glass that had a metal push bar in the middle and, in gaudy painted letters three inches high, the words Hell Level Four: Music Shop of Horrors
"This dosen't seem so bad." Charming had always been enamored of music...good music. No prima donna pop divas, no 'so similar they could be cloned' boy bands, no people who couldn't play an instrument to save their souls, real musicians singing about real problems...like Spinal Tap.
With a sense that he was finally getting somewhere Charming shoved open the door...and was painfully forced to recall why the place was called Hell. The door slammed shut behind him leaving him trapped between two massive speakers both blairing 'Thriller' at the top of their sound range. If he'd thought the Britney Spears music was bad, it was Opera of the highest standards by comparison.
Psyche was making this occilating, high frequency, keen and the charger was tossing it's head and rolling it's eyes in pain. "I've got to get out of here!" Almost as soon as the words popped out of his mouth he noticed the counter tucked in the far corner of the room. With a savage kick to the charger's ribs he made the horse bolt across the store, taking the entier disco section at one leap.
He landed infront of the rather startled, pimply, and all around not too bright looking demon behind the counter. He leaned down and seized the slovenly creature by the front of it's greasy red and white striped shirt and hauled it up so that it's piggy snout was only inches away from his face. If he'd had a mirror right now Charming would never have recognized himself.
His journy through Hell was changing him. His armor was battered and dirty, his wings soot-streaked, his hair limp and damp with sweat and water, and his eyes blazed with a zelous fury. He was an awesome, terrible, very cool in the baddest way, sight to behold. And the demon was too terrified of him to even think about lying simply because the idiot thought that Charming was some Angel of Vengance, sent on a heavenly mission.
"You are going to tell me how to get out of this place and you are going to to do it NOW!" The first bit was hissed through his clenched teeth but the last was roared so loud it shook plaster out of the ceiling. The demon squealed in fear as Charming drew Psyche and put her point to his ribs.
"You gotta sing the door a song." He pointed to the plain door marked 'Employees Only' behind the counter. Charming wasn't satisfied. He pushed Psyche's point deeper, almost to the point where it would break the skin.
"Which song! Tell Me!" The demon squealed louder in pain and writhed a bit in Charming's gauntleted grasp, only making things worse for himself as Charming's charger bit him on his curly tail.
"Aiiee! I don't know exactly! Nobody's ever made it out before! But I do know that it's one of those two songs!" He pointed to a pair of CD singles laying next to the cash register. "And you gotta hit the notes just right or...or the door will eat you...and your white horse too."
Charming dropped the demon, who landed with a boneless thump and began greatfully kissing the filthy carpet. Charming picked up the two songs. "Barney and Friends? Tellytubbies? The themesongs! What kind of fool do you take me for?" But in all the excitement the clerk demon had escaped to a filthy bolt hole in the rap section...somewhere between Eminem and Vanilla Ice.
Staring at the door, holding both the songs as if they were nuclear waste, Charming wondered what had made him sink so low...and why was he listening to the demon. He fished around in his sack until he brought out the ruler. It remained stubbornly blank. Charming sighed.
"Look. I realize what I did was wrong...but Hell's really starting to get on my nerves. I'm not saying that makes what I did any better but what say you we call a truce. I won't do anything else to you...and you cut the sarcasm huh? Deal?"
The ruler pulsed to life. Deal. If you want to get out of here you gotta sing to the door, true enough, but you have to sing something much worse than Barney or the Tellytubbies. You have to sing...
-------------------
Well what song does Charming have to sing to the door?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 3:52 am Post subject: |
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Uh...new chappys up....sorry 'bout the delay...
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:43 am Post subject: |
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I like what you did with the raven and the sign. Very good
As for songs - I think the entire 100 verses of 100 bottles of beer on the wall would be pretty mind-numbing, especially if it had to be sung correctly, in tune and never missing out a number.
I'd like to see a couple of decision points that give the readers some choice in where the story goes next though. Since we entered hell, there's basically been very little we could do other than 'go this way or mill around aimlessly'. It's been very entertaining stuff, but I'm beginning to feel a bit out of the loop.
Now - what's through door number 4?
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:46 am Post subject: |
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Stoat you have a way of making me reveal my surprises early...the first four decision points in hell were supposed to be mind numbing...because the dpoint from level five well...all hell is going to break loose...
Darn you weasle...just tap your claws and give a dragon a break...
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"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:47 am Post subject: |
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| Sorry. I like my decision points to be interesting all the way through the story. I'm a demanding reader - they're the best sort in the long run
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:49 am Post subject: |
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Nice chapter.
As to what sing, I have always hated 'a lovely daaaaaaaaaaay' whatever that is called.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:49 am Post subject: |
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There was a method to my madness...numb the reader into a mundane slump...then completely blitz them with something so unexpected it hits them like a mac truck!
Hopefully I can still recover enough to stick to that plan but it's gonna be tough ...
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"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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thebean203
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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no good ideas...
oh wait, is this the super-good story that i never commented before? must be......anyway, cant think of anything but will comment 
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Smee
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| Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:03 am Post subject: |
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Hey Kalanna,
Good chapter. - Some entertaining moments, in particular
| Quote: | | With a cry like someone who's just realized that they've been eating laxitive laced brownies |
Your typos are still rather excessive though - which I guess is a consequence of you pumping the chapters out so fast. I don't think you're going to lose readers by waiting that extra 24 hours whilst you give them an edit.
Simple things like :
| Quote: | | Charming looked at the raven, his stomach rumbled but he decided against eating the bird for two reasons. One this was Hell, you didn't eat while here. Two ravens were only one step removed from crows and who want's to eat crow. |
When I saw "Two Ravens" - I immediately thought, where'd the second one come from? I had to re-read the sentence several times to work it out.
When telling a joke - especially when it's word play, it's VITAL to get all the punctuation and spelling correct. To me, the two-raven error pulled me from the story and back into my deskchair; neatly ruining the immersion and the joke.
As for the decision point...
Sod the singing door.
If we're ever going to find her, we need to get off the 'tourist' track and get into the behindthescenes hell.
How about following the demon - get over to somewhere between Eminem and Vanilla Ice and look about for the bolthole.
Happy Writing
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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| Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 12:43 am Post subject: |
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Polling...see what's next by voting!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 11:14 pm Post subject: |
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Yay! Someone voted for the out of the box idea! Now to break midieval on his ass...
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Chapter Thirteen: Congradulations! You Have Impending Doom Syndrom.
Charming looked at the ruler once...then twice and shook his head. "I have three words for you. Oh Hell No." With that he stuffed the stupid thing back in his bag and paced around the floor, his charger following him like a well trained dog. Nobody spoke, not the sword, not the horse, and not Charming. Lately his mood hadn't been too...inviting...for conversation.
"You know what? Screw this! I've been doing nothing but going here and there since I got here. Follow this, open that door, quick bark like a seal and toot dixy on one of those little horn thingys and somebody might throw me a fish! Bullshit! I didn't take this crap while I was alive...why the hell am I doing it now!" With glower that might have given Satan himself a run for his money, if Hell held elections that is, he set off in the general direction that the demon had run.
After much blundering around, and the finding of a sweet discman, Charming managed to locat the interdimensional warp portal that existed in the 'White Rapper' section. "Damn. I'd never have thought to look here."
"Maybe that's why it's here genious." Charming shot Psyche a 'how'd you like me to post that barf picture on the Internet' glance and proceeded on to a more difficult problem. Namely, how did he fit the horse through. "If only you hadn't used all that pixy dust..."
Charming wasn't about to be stopped now. He manuvered himself behind the horse and, without a care as to how the charger felt about it, gave a mighty shove. At first nothing happened...then, with a quivering that announced his intentions, the horse let loose a rather loud fart that blew Charming over backwards.
"What have you been eating?" He stood there for a few moments trying to get his hair back into some semblance of order and then resumened shoving, brave man. Finally, with a heave so mighty Atlas might have given him an 8.5 at best, Charming managed to shove his charger through...and promptly fell gracelessly after it.
They collapsed into an art deco elevator, that was even playing a rather tinny elevatorish rendition of a Glen Miller song, much to the surprise of a rather bored looking zombie in a bell hop suit. He mumbled something that might have, in his former lifetime been 'Hot Damn' and jumped...or well tried to. You see he was rather rotten and when he went to jump his torso lurched backwards but his legs staied where they were.
Charming looked at him with a disgusted lip curl. "Good God, pull yourself together man!" The zombie gasped in horror mumbling something that might have been 'You said the 'G' word!' before bursting into flames and being reduced to a pile of ash in a few seconds. Charming slapped himself on the forehead, a gesture eerily similar to the one Cyre had used while dealing with him ealier.
He faced the control pannel with the air of some cheap man who has no talent for building, repairing, or assembling anything but is faced with the challenge of doing it himself or spending money to have it done. That's right, Charming had no idea what the shiney buttons meant but he was going to push them until something good or, since this was Hell that was asking a little much, slightly on the side of irritaiting instead of mortally harmful happened.
He got his wish almost instantly. Pushing bright yellow button sent him whizzing upwards and opened on, of all things, the CarnEVIL. Quickly, before the still angery mob saw him, he pushed a bright red button. This took him up to a club where music blared loud and insistant and a brilliant neon sign read 'Dante's Inferno'.
There was a rather long line waiting to enter the car with him. "Hey are you done in there yet! Some of us have buisiness down there!" Charming slammed the door in their faces and began pushing button after button, desperately trying to find a way to wherever Cyre was being held. Each button did something new, some taking him up, others down, some side to side and diagonally.
It was like being in the Wonkavator...if Willy Wonka had been a sadistic former archangel bent on making everyone suffer the ultimate punishments devised for them in the most nefarious place ever thought of. They were spun up and down, circled the drain a few times, had their hair turned pink, which amused Psyche to no end until her blade turned pink as well.
They were shook like peas in a hollow gourd or a dry martini. Charming could even hear Sean Connery's voice as it was happening demanding something 'Shaken. Not stirred.' Then there was a crunching sound as everything in the car was ripped in to little shreds an reassembled, by a crack smoking wallaby in the dark or so it seemed to them.
Finally there was a massive crash, the car tipped forward, and dumped them all onto slick, oatmeal colored tiles. A sedate, printed sign, announced that he had reached Hell Level Nine: The DMV Charming felt his heart sink to his stomach. "I've heard about this place. It's the worst. You end up waiting here forever for a photo from a camera that could make Angelina Jolie look like a fat, bald, homeless man who's forgotten to shower for six months."
He reached to pull Psyche out of her sheath...only to find that the sheath was gone. He looked around quickly, and smacked his nose against his wing hard enough to look like Marsha Brady after the 'football' incident. He rubbed it vigorously...and realized he was no longer wearing armor. He was dressed in the same clothing that he'd been wearing when he went for that fateful drive...what seemed like all those years ago.
Psyche, back in bow form, and his quiver of magical arrows were laying on the ground not far from his feet and a pair of keys were hooked on the handy keychain that attached to the quiver's strap. Reaching down he picked them up, recognizing the lucky rabbit's foot that had adorned his former keys back on earth. "Huh?" He turned around to look for his horse and found a white Dodge Charger sitting behind him, completely pimped. It couldn't have been any more bling-a-fied if it had belonged to Snoop Dog.
"Whoa."
"Whoa is right." He whirled around to find the one person he'd been looking for, and had least expected to find after his weird ride through Hell, standing right behind him.
Cyre looked no worse for the wear, infact she shimmered with an angelic aura of impeccible health. Her clothes, the same she'd been wearing when Charming had accidentally sent her down here, were clean and spotless and she held a folded hand of cards against her hip.
"Cyre! You're okay! I was...and I...then I came...Oh and Father Time told me to give this to you!" He fished in his bag and pulled out the previously forgotten charm braclet that he'd stuffed in there shortly before starting this...trip. Cyre reached out with a raised eyebrow and took hold of it. She glance upwards.
"I have the affermative to use this...okay then." She slid it onto her wrist, shook it to settle it a bit, and then glared at Charming. "Lucy...you have some 'splainin' to do."
For all his new looks and former, new, attitude Charming didn't quite know what to say to a slightly peeved looking Angel of Death. Cyre didn't look like she needed a rescue. Infact, as he glanced over her shoulder, it looked like he'd interrupted a game of poker she'd been in the process of winning.
Somehow telling her he'd come all this way to save her seemed...well...stupid. "Uh, well...I havn't been doing much."
"Right and you suddenly grew wings and took over Cupid's office because you've got a sudden craving for chocolate and pink fuzzy things...get real. You came down here with a bunch of 'noble hero' intentions didn't you."
An evil chuckle echoed from off to their right. "Yup. He's been very intertaining to those of us up in the security booth." Grim sidled up to Charming and offered him a boney hand. "Boy you just made me oodles of cash. Those idots didn't think you'd discover the Hellivator in time."
"Time for what?"
Grim grinned, well he was a skull...it's not like he had many facial expressions to choose from, and laughed again. Cyre slapped him and he shook himself. "Right. You're just in time to watch the compitition."
"What compitition?"
Cyre sighed. "Well I bet Grim that you'd come after me. He bet me you'd save your sorry ass. Now that you're hear, Grim dosen't get to tear you limb from limb," at this Grim pouted, or what passed for a pout. "However, because you were still mortal when you first entered Hell, and you were dead, that gives him claim you your immortal soul, whether you've become Cupid since or not."
Charming just stood there for a moment. "Isn't there anything I can do to get it back?" Grim shook his head.
"No...but there is something Cyre can do...and you're gonna do it ain't ya." Cyre sighed an rolled her wings.
"It's not fun anymore, you always loose."
"I might win this time."
"Not a chance Grim. We've been having dance offs since you wimped out of trial by combat. You didn't win them and you don't win these...why don't you pick a different sport." It looked like Grim was considering it for a second...but then he laughed again.
"Well you can either face me in a dance off...or you two can face the camera...or you can..."
------------------------
What other options do they have?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 10:36 am Post subject: |
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He paused, dramatically.
"Or... if you dare..." He laughed a sinister laugh, "You can face me in... Rock, Scissors, Paper. To the death!"
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Stubby
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| Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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| How about.... to incorporate the musical aspect still, but not necessarily a dance-off... they could play musical chairs?
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 11:49 pm Post subject: |
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*laughs* You guys are having way too much fun with this...Told ya things would pick up Stoat...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:20 pm Post subject: |
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You readie...you votie...now.
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Smee
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:42 am Post subject: |
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A poll already - it's only been 2 days and I haven't read it yet
*throws toys out pram *
It's gotta be a game of Twister
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Last edited by Smee on Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:49 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:48 am Post subject: |
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Sorry 'bout that Smee but I'm trying to move a bit faster in getting the polls up so that I can leave them up longer and gain more votes. I don't have the luxury of sitting on my heels for a week here and there inbetween chapters...have to get as much done as I can while I can don'tcha know.
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Smee
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:50 am Post subject: |
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Well in that case I vote for RPS and get back to sitting on my heels
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:57 am Post subject: |
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Ha! You sitting on your heels...right and I'm an overgrown salamander! I have a feeling that you might just become the busiest man in the city soon...Good luck with that! 
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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well, loooks like stoat's suggestion has won 100% of the vote! but it may be a while before we see the next chapter  *dips heels in creek* (cooling powers)
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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No Bean...the whole reason the vote went up so early is so that I can get crackin on the next chapter....Charming is one of my favorite stories to write...I don't feel like myself if I havn't posted a chapter of Charming lately.
Besides...it seems to have a loyal following.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:43 am Post subject: |
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Alright, caught up and voted again. Nice job Rai
*waits patiently for the next chapter*
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 12:42 am Post subject: |
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Fine then...it's rock, paper, scissors at ten paces...
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Chapter Fourteen: When Angels Attack!
"Or..." Grim held out one bony fist, cupping it in his free palm. Cyre narrowed her eyes.
"One second." She moved back over to the card game, tossed all her chips in, and laid her cards on the table. "Call." In a matter of seconds she was raking the pile of gold over to her side of the table. Charming watched it disappear god knows where. Then, with a motion like that of a stalking jungle cat, Cyre walked back over and put out her own fist, cupping it just like grim had.
"For his soul..." She nodded once at Grim's words, then they both began the chant. "Rock, paper, scissors!" Slamming their hands up and down to the beat on 'scissors' they both took one of the three poses.
"Too bad Grim. Scissors cut paper. I win." The Grim reaper looked stricken.
"Best two out of three." They repeated the process again and again Cyre won. "Best three out of five." Once more they slapped fist on palm and once more Cyre was victorious. "Best four out of seven..." and on and on it went until finally, Cyre blew her top at "Best eleven thousand nine hundred and ninety five out of eleven thousand nine hundred and ninety nine."
With an amazonian shriek she whipped out her bracelet and ripped it in two. A blast of white light followed causing everyone in the DMV of Hell to cringe or singe, depending...When Charming had use of his eyes back he nearly fainted at the sight. Cyre had been cute in pink, foxy in bad-girl clothing, but now, dressed to literally kill is was one hot godess...and as the current Cupid, dispenser of love, he knew hot godesses when he saw them.
Her robe was of the blackest midnight black with the rim of her deep cowled hood running directly into the plunging neckline. A delicate black lace webbed across her front where the deep black, velvet?, was slit as daringly as J-Lo's green oscar dress from years back and had a silken ribbon criss-crossing back and forth. The same black lace webbing continued along the tops of her arms, from shoulder to base of her fingers, with the solid black along the bottom.
Her skirt was slit from the waist down with that black webbing holding it together from the top of the slit to mid-thigh. The boots were daring, coming to mid calf and being flat soled and supple, ninja boots, with black silk stockings accentuating her elegant, supple legs.
Her silver wings arced white lightings along their length and between the primarys. They weren't tightly folded as she usually kept them, but were already manteling into a combat position. Held in a loose, but ever ready, two handed grip, was the full eight inch length of the Dragon Headed Scyth.
Her eyes snapping silver murder Cyre stalked forward on the Grim Reaper, who's own scyth, if ever a more useless piece of enchanted wood existed Charming had never seen it, gripped white knuckle in his boney hands.
Before he could so much as say a word Cyre swept out with her scyth, tearing through Grim's tattered robe like the rotten sacking it was, shearing through his stolen bones in such a way that they blew into powder. In a matter of moments Grim was nothing but a worried, but still grinning, skull. Slowly, each movement a dance so sinful even Hell sizzled, Cyre walked over and picked up Grim's scyth.
The moment she touched it it was transformed from a twisted, chipped, blackened hunk of outdated farming equipment, into a scyth who's beauty was only surpassed by the Dragon Headed monstrosity that rested across her shoulders. It's blade was a smokey silver and elegantly serrated, with three concentric ebony rings dangling off of the protrusion where the blade met the shaft.
The shaft was a deep black wood, with beautiful carvings of the many symbols of death etched as deeply into it as the blood grooves were into the blade. The weapon exuded the same dangerous air as the Dragon, yet had none of it's counterpart's grim shine and heavenly craftsmanship...this was Hell's weapon of death.
Slowly Cyre lined the blade up with Grim's skull and smiled into the too wide eyesockets. "Look's like you've been replaced. Fore!" With that she drew back the scyth and made a perfect golf swing using Grim's head, and her new Ebony Ringed Scyth, as a club and ball. Grim went flying across the room, his skull shattering into powder at the impact. Across hell there was a moment of stunned silence for the Grim Reaper who was no more.
Then, behind Charming, a single pair of hands started clapping. Without even turning to look Cyre hissed the name from between her teeth. "Uncle Lu." With an air of confidence he didn't really posess Charming whirled, drawing Psyche and knocking arrow to string instantly, and pointed his loaded weapon directly at the man in the white suit behind him.
Lucifer, a.k.a Satan, had indeed been the most beautiful of the angels at one time. Now he had a permenant sunburn from the fires of hell that gave him the never to be trendy 'boiled lobster' look. His wings had long ago been charred into so much ash but the ever cunning Father of Lies had stitched together a replacement pair from the bones and skin of fallen angels.
His long black hair was pulled back in an italian mobster style ponytail, and his too white fangs gleamed when he smiled. "Well, well, well. My little niece is finally embracing her darker side is she? No more hanging on the hem of daddy's robe are you Cyre?"
Slowly, one scyth in each hand, Cyre came to stand next to Charming. He couldn't see anything of her face, hidden in the shadows of the deep hood, but he could hear her well enough. Especially when she told him to lower his bow. For a moment he wanted to disobey but, realizing he was in over his head here, he decided to leave it to Cyre. She was the professional after all.
Thus, as he put his arrow away he looked at Psyche. "Now would be a good time for those Terms of Use and Agreement." Slowly Psyche began to tell him everything he needed to know about being Cupid but since that conversation was classified info as far as mortals were concerned focus shifted back to the showdown between Cyre and her deiviant uncle.
"Desperate times, desperate measures. I'm not too fond of the atmosphere here in Hell. Too much fire, too much brimstone...I'm never going to get the smell of sulfur out of my nose for the next two hundred years." Satan chuckled.
"Ah just keep on bitching. I didn't tell you to pick up the Scyth, you did that on your own. And I must say it's become quite the weapon in your hands...almost like it was made for you." You could almost hear Cyre grinding her teeth.
"I'm not coming to work for you..ever so just get that thought out of your head. You might have won my mother over to your cause but I'm a bit more...tempered you might say. Her wings flicked once, a black tarnish now visible on the outer edges were the white lightnings still skipped from feather to feather. The hands that gripped the scyth now had fingers that ended with claws three quarters of an inch long.
Satan laughed again. "But you wouldn't be under the command of your mother Cyre dear. You'd only answer to me."
"Death answers to no one uncle. That's what picking the Dark Scyth up was all about. Dragon Heads and Ebony Rings aside, both these scyths are the same, ultimate impliments of the Office of Death. And both are now irriversibly mine." Satan's eyes narrowed and he made a 'come here' gesture with his hand. The dark scyth never twitched.
"So that's how you're going to play it is it? Death becoming an independant and freelance entity? I wonder how the Man Upstairs feels about that." Something flashed in the light and Satan negligantly reached up and caught the small silver cell phone.
"Why don't you call him and ask. The number's on speed dial, just hit 1 for the Father, 2 for the Son, or 3 for the Holy Ghost." Quietly Satan punched the number in, knowing full well his Hell phone didn't have a long distance plan that covered calls to Heaven.
"Hello, God? This is Lucifer...I know you know who's calling...yes I...no I...of course we're still on for Armegeddon...no...no...not yet I haven't but...yes but I...well be like that then....just answer me...I know you...fine...fine...she dose eh...and that's right...so then who...I can live with that...but...but...no...I don't give a damn what you think about my Devils Food Cake you can choke on Angel Food Cake for all I care! Yes and damn you too...!"
With a disgusted click he hung up and tossed the phone back to Cyre. "You've got backing in high places girl...but that won't get you out of Hell..." Satan made a sweeping gesture with his hand. The DMV shell blew away to reveal millions of demons and damned souls pressing close to where walls had once been. Each and every one of them was armed to the teeth.
Just a few feet away, a long road, paved with good intentions, streched before and behind them. It disappeared up and down after going on for a way. The Highway to Hell...she could almost hear AC/DC now...infact wasn't that Bon Scott over there with the massive sword/mike?
Just as the demon's pressed close the strangest thing happened. She was sized about the waist by a strong grip and tossed onto the saddle of a white horse...pillion to the rider. "Need a lift?" The angel in front of her turned around and favored her with a dazzling smile. Cyre raised an eyebrow for a moment, holding onto her hood as the force of wind the charging...charger kicked up tried to peel it off.
"Charming?" He gave a brief nod.
"Yeah I read up on the powers of Cupid...the whole 'Knight in Shining Armor' thing sounds corny and dosn't do a damn thing for you unless you know how to use it. But once you know how to use it it's one of Cupids most powerful forms...next to the whole 'God of Love' thing but..." His flushed bright red and twitched his wings.
Cyre raised one hand above her head and snapped her fingers. "I'd love to stay and chat but I've got my own ride." She lept from her spot behind Charming and landed on the back of the meanest, ghastliest, most terrifying horse Charming had ever seen. It's buttermilk pale coat shimmered like bone in the light of the flames and it's black eyes looked like empty sockets.
With a frightening lurch in his stomach Charming realized that the horse wasn't just the color of bone...it was wearing bone plate armor. So this was the literal incarnation of Cyre's pale horse. Catching Charming's look she grinned. "His name's Mort...and he says he dosen't like you staring at him but that you're filly seems the nice sort."
"Filly...what the?" Charming thought he was riding a stallion but as he wasn't a good enough trick rider to risk swinging down and taking a look, and he sure as hell wasn't pulling over, he had to take Mort's word for it.
Behind them a small nuclear explosion rocked the nineth level and Satan's voice roared "Get them!". The massive horde behind them charged forward, all screaming at the top of their lungs.
Charming looked over at Cyre. "You got some trick that'll stall them long enough to give us some running room?" Cyre looked thoughtfully for a moment the gave him a grave look.
"I've got something that might do the trick...but if I use it then I'm gonna be pretty strapped powerwise for while. I could still kick much ass but I wouldn't have my top form back for...a day at least...more depending on how much resistance I encounter and how much 'divine inspiration' I recieve. It's up to you."
"Why do I always have to decide these things huh? For once why couldn't the fate of all man kind rest on someone else's shoulders?" Cyre gave him a blank look. "Okay fine...so it's only our own asses on the line but still...having someone else make the decision once and a while would be nice."
"Fine then I'll make it." Both Charming and Cyre stared at Psyche, for very different reasons. The bow, glowing with a golden aura, twisted her string a bit before speaking her mind...
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Will Cyre use her...stalling tactic?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 12:52 am Post subject: |
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No. Given that Psyche is the one speaking, it stands to reason that Cupid is the one who should be saving the day. The weapon wouldn't particularly think its field of expertise was Cyre's powers, given that the weapon doesn't even know what the 'trick' is that Cyre is referring to.
Psyche will come up with some power or flash move that Cupid can make, allowing the both of them to escape.
Of course, we don't know what that power is, because we don't know much about Cupid's power in this world at all. It'll have to be up to the author to decide that one. I'm sure it'll be impressive though.
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Chinaren
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:08 am Post subject: |
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| I have to agree with Stoat there
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thebean203
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:10 am Post subject: |
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tres bien! ahh es...well, cant think of any ideas except what the indubitable ms.stoat has previously said
Psyche will probably throw off some magic bomb or smoke cover....octupus-like 
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:34 am Post subject: |
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Right...poll's up...must vote...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:55 am Post subject: |
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Hmm does he or does she... Which one would be harder to write?
I'm going to have to go with Shady's reasoning here. Time for Cupid to save the day by making all the demons hate him so they go fleeing from his hatefullness
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Smee
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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Good chapter Kalanna
I've gone with Charming saving the day - let's see just what the God of Love can do and a powerless Cyre doesn't sound good this deep into hell. Let's save her powers for something more than 'stalling'.
Happy Writing
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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f5 Smee here, though I wish you would spell 'does' right.
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Last edited by Chinaren on Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Smee
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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You are consistent with it Kal, so whenever you write it, assume you got it wrong and reverse the s and e
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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Prince Charming to save the day...RIGHT!
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Chapter Fifteen: Hell Freezes Over
"Charming reach into your quiver."
"What? Why?"
"JUST DO IT!" Quickly, so that the irate bow didn't snap a string or have the equivilant of a bow heart attack, Charming reached into the quiver. "Now pull out that white arrow, no the OTHER white arrow...the one with the blue glass on the tip. THAT'S IT!" Slowly Charming drew forth an arrow that, while it was very pretty, wasn't going to do squat against a horde of charging demons.
Slowly Charming knocked the arrow and cocked the bow. "Now say 'Huey Lewis' at the top of your lungs."
"Are you nuts! I'm not going to..." The bow grew hot in his hands and began to shake ever so slightly. Psyche wasn't in the mood for discussion. "HUEY LEWIS!" The arrow glowed with a frightening intensity of blue and the song Power of Love filled the air around them causing the demon horde behind them to slow down and chuckle a moment.
"Let the arrow fly Charming!" More than happy to, Charming release the glowing arrow backwards into the horde. There was a blast of intense blueness and suddenly...the temperature dropped from around a hundred to around zero. Snow swirled out in all directions as ice coated the walls of the nineth level. Cyre laughed and a small spark of her own magic swirled out.
A small lamp post grew from the ground next to the road, ice encrusting its iorn surface. From behind the now frozen in their tracks demons Satan shook his lobster-like fist. "You jerks! Look what you've done to my beautiful hello what's this?" He studied the lamp post like it might explode at any moment.
"Come on Charming...we've got to get outta here." Still staring stunned at the smug bow in his hand, Charming whistled to his horse to gallop a little faster to match pace with Mort, who was hauling ass to get otta there.
A squeaking noise came from just above him and Charming looked up to see a pair of small bats streaking overhead at high speed. He looked questioningly at Cyre who shrugged..."Never heard the expression 'Like a bat out of Hell?'." Soon they were leaving the nineth level, and all it's frozen minions, behind, following the string as it lead them toward the exit.
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Satan shook an angery fist at the two fleeting forms and surveyed his frozen demons. Then he paced around the lamp post once, twice, three times. Nothing happened. "Now why would she leave something like this here...there's a reason right?" But it was just a lamp post with a brightly glowing lamp lighting the darkness of the nineth level now that there were no fires.
"Aw, what the hell. I've always wanted to do this." With a quick look to make sure no one was looking, Satan walked up and stuck out his forked tounge. He pressed it firmly to the poll for a moment and then, as the foolish moment passed, he tried to pull it off...and failed. He stood there for several minutes trying in vain to pull the wet pink organ off the ice coated iorn...an exercise in futility if there ever was one.
"Awel Gwet Yewl thwor swils Swire!" Which translates into 'I'll get you for this Cyre!'. He reached into his coat for his Hell phone and hit the first number on speed dial. It took him a moment to get the entity on the other end of the line to stop laughing and start listening...it took him several more moments to get the entity to understand him.
"Oooh doon't woorry Satan. I'll give my darling oone hell ooof a receptioon. She wooon't escape me this time. We have a scoore to settle." The line abruptly went dead. He stared into the phone before finally hitting another number on speed dial.
"Wehwhoa, Awi nuweed thuwmb whowp." Which means 'Hello, I need some help'. Satan spent all of six minutes trying to alternately threaten and plead with his clean up crew to bring some hot water and a blanket down here and get him off the lamp post. He would never try this stupid trick again.
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"Look Cyre! The Gates of Hell!" The pair of massive gates loomed just a few hundred feet ahead of them. Cyre looked back over her shoulder.
"Thank you Sir Point-out-the-obvious-alot. I would never have seen them on my own." They were so close that they could almost taste freedom when something ripped Charming out of his saddle and began shaking him back and forth like an ill-used chew toy. As he landed on his back hard on the stone floor he stared up into six angery yellow eyes.
Cerberus had broken free of the time bomb, or maybe the bomb had worn off who knew, and was now rather pissed and looking for revenge. The three heads snarled at him, slobber running out from between their flaming fangs to drown him when bathtub size drops hit him. The only thing that kept him from becoming an instant doggy treat was the fact that there wasn't enough of him to feed all three heads at once.
A sharp whistle got their attention. "Cerbe! Cerbe here baby!" Cerberus focused it's attention on Cyre and, with three joyus yips, sprang away from Charming and strained it's chain to reach the dark figure that stood just out of reach. "That's right baby, c'mere. Don't eat that...it's full of noble intentions."
Charming didn't know what was worse, being drowned in drool or being beaten to death by the giant tail as it thumped up and down on him in excitement. Slowly Cyre walked over to where the massive beast was chained to the wall and with one clean swing of a scyth, cut the massive chain. The huge dog bounded around her in a frisky circle before lowing it's heads to get a triple chin scratch.
"See Charming. Not everything around here is what it seems. Take Cerberus here. Sure they look nasty and evil and they might bite strangers but they're just a big puppy when you get right down to it." Suddenly the three heads shot up and snarled in the direction of the Gates.
"Get away from that demon right now young lady." Charming would remember that voice from anywhere. The Gates of Hell swung open to admit three shimmering beings, haloed in white light. In the middle Charming recognized Michael but the two on his left and right were completely new.
Cyre turned and crossed her arms over her chest, the massive Cerberus snarling over her...she looked like some sleezy archdemon preparing to attack the heros. "Look at her wings Mike." The angel on the left waved his spear in Cyre's direction.
"And her hands." The right angel pointed his spear. "She's got talons." Michael's eyes narrowed.
"Your hood Cyre...drop it." For a moment the white lightnings on Cyre's much tarnished wings crackled with a frightful intensity. Then she shook her head, the deep hood falling back to reveal her face. The three angels gasped. Her silver eyes had slitted cats pupils, fangs winked over her lip, and a pair of black horns trailed out of her crown of silver hair.
"Oh dear. Do I really look that bad?"
"Nooo, dearest. Yooou loook very nice. A little tooo goood perhaps, but very nice all the same." A dark shadow detached itself from the entrance to the Inferno. She wore very little, just a little red leather bra and a red lether thong that trailed a sheer red silk veil behind her. A red leather bull whip curled around her right hand.
Her long black hair fell over her shoulders, as luxurious as velvet, with a pair of massive red horns curving back over her head. Her huge brown eyes, demon eyes, dominated her fine boned face with it's full red lips and ivory fangs, and her pale white skin was smooth as fresh cream. A pair of blackened wings rose from her back, held on by thread made from dried human hearts. Lilleth, Mother of all Mosters was a stunning beauty. It wasn't hard to see where Cyre got her looks.
"Hubba hubba I think I'm in love." The angel on the left's eyes sparkled. Everyone turned and stared hard at Charming for a moment. He held up his empty hands.
"Wasn't me! I sware on my life...or on the life I used to have at any rate. Really it wasn't!"
"Yeah. How could he fire any arrows when he's STANDING on his BOW!" Charming jumped back and picked Psyche up off the ground where she'd fallen. He tried to sooth the bow but she was having none of it, preferring instead to complain and grumble about mistreatment of magical items and kids these days.
Michael looked at the smitten angel. "Pull yourself together Gabe! She's poison...bad news. Don't you remember the Hell I went through when I was with her! Don't you remember what she did to Adam!"
"And what's sooo wroong with having a little free will! Goood gave it to the booys but the girls have tooo suffer in silence!" She snapped her whip angrily, the floor cracking and flames shooting up where it landed. The three Archangels readied their weapons, ready for the on rushing conflict.
"I should have brought popcorn." Charming jumped and turned to look at Cyre who'd come to stand beside him when the tensions had started to run high. He took a good look at her.
"What the Hell happened to you? I thought you were an angel."
"Well I am...sorta. You see I was concieved as an Angel but I was born after my mom Fell, thus I was born Fallen. I'm a bit of a bastard, an accident that nobody wanted to take responsibility for for a few hundred years." Charming looked at her with a raised eyebrow...she should have brought popcorn.
"Then I heard God was looking for an Angel of Death. They were already priming me to be the Grim Reaper down here but I didn't much like the uniform so I polished the tarnish off my wings, pulled my halo outta storage, and applied for the position. Things went well and here I am today."
"That still doesn't explain the new head orniments or the manicure. Not to mention the contacts and wingpaint." Cyre sighed.
"I forgot how slow you are. The more I'm in Hell the more it exerts it's pull on my nature. Just like the more time I spend in Heaven makes me more of a perfect angel...not to mention gives me the need for massive amounts of bleach. Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of a white robe! It's Hell I tell ya." Charming nodded, he'd runined his share of whites before.
"So that's the reason you staied in Afterlife right? Because it was a happy medium?" Cyre nodded.
"Sure. I got to keep my looks and my attitude." The whip snapped at their feet causing Charming to jump back about three feet.
"Excuse me but the rest ooof us wooould like tooo get ooon with it! We doon't have time for looong mooonoooloogs and explainatiooons that act as if we weren't here at all!"
"Sorry." Cyre whipped out her scyths and flipped the hood back up on her robe. The lightnings started up again and her natures warred with each other admerably. She mounted Mort and brought Cerberus to heel at the pale horse's side. Charming mounted his...filly?...and drew Psyche, who was still muttering to herself, knocking and arrow to string and flaring his white wings behind him. "This better for you?"
The three Archangels and the Demoness exchanged a few nods. "Wooorks fooor us!" Then they all struck pointless fighting poses. Luckily, before anyone could get hurt from over exposure to a poorly chorographed fight scean, Satan, tounge wrapped in a bandage and blanket over his shoulders, kicked open the door to the Inferno and ran over behind Lilleth.
"Sorry Imb late. Had to get my toung off the subid lamb bost." He wore nothing but a pair of black leather pants, and boots, and his tail lashed behind him in a fit of hatred. His pitchfork wavered slightly as he noticed the three angels standing over by the gates. "What the Hell are you doing here Michael!"
"Well I was coming to rescue what's left of my daughter and her foolish companion but I see I've now got bigger fish to fry." The three archangels now stood between Cyre's motley crew and Hells Power couple.
"Rabhael! I'm surbrised to see you here Brother!" Raphael smiled and waved.
"Hey Lu! Long time no see! I heard something about you stirring up trouble in the middle east again. You been playing the 'Allah' card a bit too much eh?" Satan shook his head.
"I don't know what you're talking about. You should stick to your books Rabhael. That's all your good at, reading, teaching, and screaming like a little girl."
"I can also knit a mean cashmire sweater but I think thta's beside the point." Lilleth's whip cracked again.
"What is it with yooou peoople and talking like the rest ooof us arn't here!" Raphael shrugged.
"It's not my fault Lilly! That's the way the author wrote it...Funny, I thought God had the day off." He scratched his head a moment.
Gabriael, still panting and pouting over the demoness, rapped his spear butt on the stone floor. "I don't give a toot of my horn who is or isn't responsible for this...I just want to fight!" Michael and Raphael exchanged an 'I thought I was, I thought you were, the militant one' look.
Charming looked at Cyre who called out loudly. "Let's get this over with. Chronos isn't going to hold my cases much longer." The poses were re-struck, the battle was about to commense, they were all about to get 'giggy' with it, when the Gates of Hell burst open.
When the smoke cleared and watering eyes could see again the figure, or was it figures?, in the door was, or is it were, none other than....
-------------------
Who, or what, might it be?
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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God? Just to be contrevertial?
Or how about the Grey Lord (just assuming he could take physical form of course) though it would be more likely to he The Golden One, seeing how he's in charge of Earth. Probably come to warn them about the inpending doom that will result in the battle, with the sudden imbalance of power.
And just one point - the Ninth Circle of Hell is frozen over already. Cocytus is always frozen, with traitors trapped deep in the ice.
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Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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Yes but Lordy, this is the nineth level not the nineth circle. If I could draw a map I would but in my Hell they're not the same place.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Barney!
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Stubby
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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Yoda
Light Saber in hand.
I can see it now.....
"Naughty you have been. Punish you I will. Fight me you must."
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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Stubby...do I really have to kill Yoda twice?
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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It can't be Yoda. That would just be silly!
Simon Cowell
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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Right, another day for suggestions before I put up the poll.
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Smee
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 2:17 am Post subject: |
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Funny chapter and some entertaining suggestions.
No great suggestions of my own though.
Happy Writing
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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Right...now's the time to cast your vote!
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 2:01 am Post subject: |
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ahem...Simon Cowell is a bit more than 'from 'merkin Idol' *
*He did UK Idol for one
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 1:26 am Post subject: |
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No I didn't...just wait and See. Oh and Smee...I know Simon's done more than American Idol...I was just letting folks know who he was some how. You say Simon from american idol and people go 'oh that guy.'
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Lordy
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 2:20 am Post subject: |
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| Kalanna Rai wrote: | | You say Simon from american idol and people go 'oh that guy.' |
Only if you're from America - if you said it elsewhere you'd get blank looks and people wondering just what the show was.
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Stubby
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 2:22 am Post subject: |
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| Lordy wrote: | | Kalanna Rai wrote: | | You say Simon from american idol and people go 'oh that guy.' |
Only if you're from America - if you said it elsewhere you'd get blank looks and people wondering just what the show was. |
Easy - it is that show about idle americans - where they all just slob around all day watching TV from the sofa!
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thebean203
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Stubby wrote: | | Lordy wrote: | | Kalanna Rai wrote: | | You say Simon from american idol and people go 'oh that guy.' |
Only if you're from America - if you said it elsewhere you'd get blank looks and people wondering just what the show was. |
Easy - it is that show about idle americans - where they all just slob around all day watching TV from the sofa! |
i take offense at that!
after all, i don't slob aroud all day in front of my tv
i slob around in front of my computerall day!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 1:47 am Post subject: |
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WHAT A TIE!!! Alright somebody better break it cuz otherwise I'll make an executive decision tomorrow!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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Right, made an executive decision, I hate doing that.
Enjoy this new chapter...and all the plot twists it entails....mwuhahahaha...
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Chapter Sixteen: No More Purple Dinosaur
"BARNEY!" Indeed it was the purple dino himself in a chariot drawn by six dayglow My Little Ponies. The ponies, all giggling about pop music, hair care products, and enslaving the mindless young girls of the human race, trotted right up to Satan with a flourish while Barney laughed his irritating laugh and offered the Father of Lies a hug.
"I love you." He said putting extra vigor into the squeeze. The three archangels exchanged an unreadable look and Lilleth began to strangle her whip in frustration. Satan froze in shock as Cyre pulled a camera out from under her robe and snapped a couple of Polaroids.
"Oh this is good. It's so gonna make the Posthemous Post tomorrow. All of Afterlife is gonna be buzzing about the Satan, Barny, Pony triangle." Charming almost puked.
"There goes the happy childhoods of millions." Cyre put the camera away.
"How can it be a happy childhood with them. I mean take the Ponies for instance. Would you normally let your child play with something that has garish rainbow skin, tackily clashing neon hair, and a tattoo on it's ass? No you don't do you." Charming was at a loss for words, and so was Satan as Barney clutched him even tighter, nuzzled his cheek, whispered in his ear and said 'I love you.' once again.
Now Charming, being the new Cupid and thus being in charge of most aspects of love, stood in stupified silence for a moment and then something snapped. Without so much as the blink of an eye he cocked his bow and let the arrow fly at Barney. The purple beast was quicker than he looked. With unimaginable speed he pulled a move that could have been attributed to the wize guru off the Karate Kid and caught the arrow between his four fingers.
Suddenly Barney went from slightly creepy costume dino, to a four story purple and green terror from the Jurassic period. With jaws that would have made T-Rex wet himself and run for cover and massive claws that could slice into a bank vault it advanced on Charming, lashing it's massive whip-like tail behind him.
As if the sudden change was a que to attack the My Little Ponies reared and became Your Worst Nightmares. Charming's horse backed up one step, then two as the six creatures made of charred brimstone skeletons and hell fire advanced along the flanks of the purple Behemoth. "Aw crap."
Without asking for help, indeed Charming's world had shrunk back to just caring for number one, he fire arrows one after another with a blurr of speed that would have made Legolas, Legolam, and Orlando Bloom go 'Daaaaammmmnnn'. He attacked with a ferocity that he didn't know he had in him, reverting the bad ass that had almost strangled the nerdy demon in the record shop.
The nightmares went down one by one, unable to match the agility of Charming's white steed, and Barney found that the quarters were a bit cramped with three archangels, a three headed dog creature, an archdemoness, the devil, and a mounted Angel of Death all getting under his feet as he chased Charming in circles.
"Love! You twisted excuse for an overgrown puppet! I'll show you some love!" Charming reached into his supposedly inexhaustable quiver only to find he had one arrow left. It was black from tip to tip with an arrowhead of heart shaped obsidian. He knocked it to the bow, pulled back and...
"NO CHARMING DON'T!" Psyche uttered her warning too late. With a thundeous twang the black arrow roared through the space, burying itself in the back of the mutant Barney's throat. The purple beast's eyes went wide, it gagged once, and a spray of purple blood fountained forth as it crashed to the ground and gave a last half-hearted snap of it's jaws before dying.
"Well that's tha..." Charming never finished the sentence. He clutched his chest as he suddenly couldn't breath and toppled bonelessly from his horse as his world shrunk to a black spot an inch infront of his nose. Then he passed out.
--------------------------
For a moment none the other combatants moved. Then Satan pointed toward the corpses and the toppled hero. "That's bad isn't it?"
"I don't know. Don't you sort of have the authority on that one?" Cyre dismounted and wandered over to where Charming's horse was beginning to glow brighter and brighter. She causually pulled the arrow out of the quickly dissolving flesh of what once was the hero of children everywhere. "Just as I thought. The moron used the Blackheart."
Nothing. Silence. Cyre looked at them. "I said The moron used the Blackheart." Satan slapped his forehead.
"That's right we're all supposed to gasp." They gasped and Cyre nodded.
"Better, now I'm not an expert on the arrows of Cupid but I seem to recall that once a Cupid touches the Blackheart Arrow something horrible happens to them."
"As in?"
"As in I don't know. What about my not being an expert do you people not get. Maybe if I'd paid attention to the previous Cupid when he was trying to woo me by impressing me with arrow details I could be of more help. Unfortunately I was concentraiting on not killing him at that moment in time...Time that's it! Chronos might be able to recall the conversation."
Satan, who was busy calling his cleanup crew for the second time today, gave her a hush sign and Lilleth was busy sharpening her talons, but the rest seemed interested...in everything but what Cyre was saying. "Fine, you work out your differences, I'm going to find out what happened to Cupid."
Using a little brute force, okay a lot of brute force, she hefted Charming into his saddle, after pulling her hood into a shady position over her eyes to prevent being blinded by the radient horse. Tying the reigns to Mort's saddle she trotted out of Hell, Cerberus frisking behind her.
---------------------------
A few minutes and the entire staff of the Juneau Alaska post office later, Cyre arrived in Afterlife trotting past Morri's desk. "Oh hello Cyre. Come to review the replacements." Cyre flipped back her hood, took a moment to inspect her reflection in the blade of her scyth, and stared at him like he'd grown an extra head.
"Replacements for what Morri?" He pulled out his book and flipped through pages.
"Why replacements for your position. The Afterlife panel has decided to remove you from your position as Angel of Death. Apparently you provide too many hazards for the company insurance to cover and after your latest spree of rule-breaking well...they've had enough. " Cyre glared at him.
"Do you mean to tell me that after all my thousands of years of service I'm being fired. That I'm being handed my walking papers because I called the scyth and robe in self-defense? I'm being let go because I'm hazardous?" Her voice was deceptively quite. Had Charming been concious he could have warned Morri, but he was mercifully slung over his saddle snoring away.
"Well there's also the strict no pets rule but y..." Cyre exploded.
"I'm DEATH for heaven sake! I'm the one thing you can absolutely bet on! Hazardous! You don't know the meaning of the word! How am I supposed to do my jow without taking risks? Not everyone dies in bed Morri!" The small man had shrunk deeper and deeper into his chair with every word she snarled.
He was save when his cell phone rang. Not his everyday phone, but a cute little white and gold number. Cyre gave a grim smile as Morri looked nervously at a line that had never rang before. "I'd answer it...he really hates to be kept waiting."
Slowly Morri picked up the phone and put it to his ear. "Hello." He was utterly silent, nodding from time to time as if he expected the being on the other end to see what he was doing, blowing off the fact that the being was doing exactly that. Slowly Morri extended the phone. "He want's to speak to you."
Slowly Cyre picked up the phone. "Sir." The voice of God filled her ears.
"Cyre don't despair. No one could ask for a better death but I have to appease Satan on this one. I'm choosing a new Angel of Death and he's picking a new Grim Reaper. You, however, have a new title and position...Death Incarnate." Cyre twitched an eyebrow upwards.
"That's right, you'd be their boss, making sure things ran smoothing and deciding on which balanced soul went to whom. Also your doing a wonderful job of mentoring Charming, keep up the good work even though he's got a tough time coming up."
"Sir about that..."
"Oh what's going to happen to him? Well normally I wouldn't give out this kind of information but I like you kid. Here's what's up..."
---------------------------------
What is going on with Charming?
Right hoped you liked the new chapter. I ended up breaking the tie and while it was tempting to go for Simon, really tempting, I wanted to do something a little different.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:53 am Post subject: |
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By using the BlackHeart arrow he's removed love from the world. It killed Barney as a creature sustained purely on love, and the only reason Charming is still alive is because he only recently became Cupid - soon he to will wither a die.
Meanwhile, back on Earth, the removal of love is having cataclysmic concequenes - couples breaking up, murder, suicide, robberies, and - finally - World War III
Would that be impressive enough?
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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Nice chapter!
Unfortunately, I'm drawing a blank right now. I'll keep thinking about it and post any idea that comest to mind.
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Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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dinranwen
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| Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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Although killing off love sounds severly tempting....(down with Valentine's Day I say!)....I would have to disagree with Lordy here.
The Black Arrow, does as sound a little evil, but I think destroying Love is a little to drastic. So drawing a little from what I remember of Roman/Greek Mythology about Eros/Cupid, and combining your describition of the black arrow and the plot so far...I got the following suggestion.
If I recall, each arrow Cupid/Eros used had a name, a feeling/passion associated with it, and a particular use. The Black Arrow, therefore, I think should represent Love of the most dangerous sort. I think it should represent so passionate, so true, so deadly that it would die than to see the object of it's passion hurt, rather kill than see the object of it's love look elsewhere. To put it simply, The Black Arrow is used to create a jealous or deeply passionate love.
Now for the Mytholoy recall: If I remember right in most legends, Cupid was immune to his own arrows, except in one where upon pricking himself with his arrow, he fell in love with a mortal. Therefore, I think that since Cupid here has touched so powerful an arrow as the Black Arrow, he should either A.) Fall in love with the person he sees when he wakes up or B.) Fell in love with the last person he saw before he blanked out. Personally I think he should fall in love with the now Death Incarnate. This is practical considering he was probably already half-way in love with her in the first place.
But that's just my personal opinion.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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Hey it's nice to see a new face in the Charming posts welcome aboard. As for the suggestion you hit the nail on the head with the mythology refs, although Cupid never had an arrow quite like the Blackheart.
I'm leaving this one open to discussion for another day or so so all of you who've read the chappy but havn't said anything, get your ideas in. The more the merrier.
Well I'm off. There's a couple of chappy's to post elsewhere, just look for them.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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Alright I've let this chappy stew so long it's starting to give my socks a run for world domination. Thus the new poll is up and I'd kindly appriciate your votes in the matter.
To coin a phrase I hear way too much every four years...it's your duty to Vote!
Please and thank you.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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Ooh looks like Charming just keeps on getting further into trouble as he goes
Great to see another new chapter of Charming's adventure and hear that another one is comming soon.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 1:50 pm Post subject: |
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Well you've voted and now I've written eheheheheheh. Enjoy
-------------------------
Chapter Seventeen: She Ain't No Mr. Ed
Cyre's eyes went wide. "WHAT! You've got to be kidding sir." She shot a glance over to where Charming was slumped over his saddle, and made a mental note to get shades while around the horse.
"I wish I was but Cupid has definitely fallen in love with Aphrodite." Cyre shook her head.
"I should have seen this coming. It was bound to happen. Things were getting too easy."
"Cyre."
"Yes sir?" She clung to the phone, hopeing, praying for a shred of good news, a life line of any kind. What she got was worse news.
"You have a guest waiting for you at your place. She's going to help you soul sort, has a talent for that sort of thing. Now if you'll hand the phone back to Morri so you don't scream in my ear, thank you." With a numb hand and a puzzled expression Cyre handed the phone back to Morri.
Who could be helping her sort souls? The only souls she would be seeing were those in perfect balance. Balance equaled scales. Scales equaled judgement. Judgement...but that ment...Cyre screamed. Springing onto Mort's back the pale steed went from zero to sixty in two point one seconds. With the air of a freshly scrubbed harpy she kicked in the doors to the Mansion, not caring that Charming's horse followed her inside.
Unsheathing her scyth, the pair she'd brought out of Hell having fuzed together into one monsterously mideval weapon, she stalked through the halls until...she lashed out with her scyth and sparks flew as it was blocked by a slender sword. The two angels faced each other down over opposing sides of edge weaponry.
Cyre was so pissed it was letting out the demon in her. How dare he send HER. On the other side of the conflict the Angel of the End held her sword in a two handed grip, scarlet hair dripping in scarlet eyes like windblown blood, scarlet wings wide for balance. "Hello Cyre, long time no see."
"Azriael, you seem well." For a moment both pressed for the advantage then the weapons vanished and they wrapped each other in bearhugs. "I've missed you. It was no fun being the only bad girl in Heaven."
Cyre pulled back and eyed Azriael up and down a small frown crossing her face. "You're three inches taller."
"And all of it's leg. You're wings are wider." Cyre winked. What could she say, she'd always had better wings. "Now what's this I hear about you getting mixed up with a Prince turned Cupid?"
Forgetting Charming completely Cyre led Azriael into the red living room where she'd tried to explain Charming's 'resurrection' options what seemed like years ago. She made some hot cocoa and began to tell the whole, twisted, story. "And now he's draped over his saddle in the entry way." Azriael wiped the tears out of her eyes.
"You've always gotten yourself into the strangest trouble Sis. Now let's see what I can do to get you out." She stood up, stretching and and sending her skimpy white tube top to the bursting point as her clevage nearly spilled out. "But first things first. Lemme slip into something less...white."
A few moments later the pair of them, dressed in early nineties Grunge which ment ripped denim, white wife-beater t-shirts, flannel shirts tied around their waists, and tennis shoes, walked down the hall catching up on old times. They rounded the corner to the entry hall to find Charming sprawled on the floor next to a naked woman who was obviously trying to use her abundence of hair to cover herself.
"I take it that's Aphrodite?" Cyre nodded. "I thought you said she was a horse?"
"She was." They both looked upward and twitched their eyebrows, then they looked at each other and shrugged. "If he wants to help let him. Now I'll bring the...girl you get Prince Charming." Seeing the gleam in Azriael's blood colored eyes, and knowing her older sister like she did, Cyre held up her hand. "On second thought you get the girl I'll get Lover Boy over there."
---------------------------
Charming came awake with the strangest ache in his muscles. It felt like he'd been trampled by a herd of horses...drawing chariots of love. He sat bolt upright, scattering the deck of cards that had been sitting on his chest. "Not you again." The cards unulated across the floor until a happy face was painted against the red carpet.
He looked around, recognizing the room at once. What he didn't recognize was the fox in the arm chair who was staring at him. He thought she was bald at first, and human, until she moved and her hair and wings separted themselves from the red of the room. "Hello Charming."
"Cyre? No, who are you?" The angel looked like Cyre, or looked like Cyre after Lillieth had given her a makeover. She slunk across the carpet, all sexy smiles and curves that he should have been aching to touch...but wasn't.
"I'm Azriael, her sister. I'm the evil twin, or the good twin." She smiled devilishly. "You see, it all depends on how you look at it." Charming swollowed hard, and made room for her to sit on the sofa. She didn't just sit, she took her seat like it had never been made for another. "Now it seems you've got a little problem."
The only problem Charming could think of was that he was sitting next to an absolutly gorgeous angel and entertaining no thoughts of a tryst. Yeah he did have a problem, he was burnt out on hot babes. She wasn't here to help him with that...that would make her something other than an angel...wouldn't it? Still he had to ask. "And are you going to help me with it?"
She took one look at him and stifled a laugh. "Not me, Aphrodite." Something about the name made Charming want to do a lot of things it wouldn't be decent to talk about. However he couldn't put face to name, only a sense of warm whiteness.
"And where is Aphrodite?"
"With Cyre." Charming stood instantly. His beloved was with Cyre! He shook his head, he was being a cornball, racing off to throw himself at a woman he'd never met before. Yet he could no more stop himself than he could stop a freight train. Azriael could though.
As he started to bolt forward a shapely arm wrapped around his neck and dragged him back onto the sofa. "Whoa cowboy. There are a few things you might want to know before you go chargin off."
"Such as?"
"How's the fact the 'woman' you love is a horse suit you? Or the fact that, even though she's in human form, she probably won't care for you since you have none of the things that are attractive to a horse?" Charming sat like someone had hit him with a mallet, his eyes sort of glazed.
"A horse? She's a horse?" Azriael nodded.
"The horse you rode through Hell. She used to be the Goddess of Love until she and the others were demoted by Him."
"Him."
"God, duh. He hates it when other entities try to take his title. Then he demotes them to some menial task, like being the horse for a very ignorant Prince on a pointless rescue mission through the worst place imaginable." Charming remembered all those moments on the ride through Hell when he'd been mean to his horse, his love.
"Oh damn. She hates me right?" Azriael shrugged. "What should I do?"
"I don't know? Chocolate covered flowers? A new curry comb or hoof pick? I've never bought a romantic gift for a horse before."
"But she was a woman once, a goddess?" Azriael gave him an arch look.
"You think that's going to make her any easier to please?" Charming shook his head and looked at Azriael again. Damn she was fine, and yet he couldn't even muster a hubba hubba for her at the moment. She and Cyre could get in a nude mud wrestling match and he'd probably go to make himself some mac n' cheese. This sucked!
"So how do I fix it?"
"What you don't want to be in love with Aphrodite?" Of course he did, she was the light of his life! He slapped himself. No, no! He didn't want to spend the rest of his immortality making calf eyes at some fickle filly that would run off with the next stud that shook his tail her way. Yet he hadn't even seen her, maybe he should give her a chance...and maybe that was the magic arrow talking.
"I don't know. I can't sort my feelings from the magic." Azriael looked thoughful, eyeing him up and down. "What? Do I have something on my face?"
"Five o' clock shadow but not much else."
"Wait! Where's Psyche? She knows all about the Love thing! She might have some answers!" Azriael shrugged.
"No clue. She and Aphrodite havn't cared for each other since Eros, the first Cupid, introduced them. Now Eros is a statue somewhere, Aphrodite is a white charger, and Psyche is the enchanted bow of the Office of Cupid. It was a tragicomic moment." Charming sighed. "I however have an idea as to how we can fix this if you'd rather not go on a wild bow chase."
Charming put his head in his hands. He could go look for Psyche and try and sort this out that way. He could hear the hot angel babe out. Or he could try living with a Horse Goddess of Love for a significant other...unless he could come up with a better option.
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What would he do?
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There you go, the latest and greatest Charming installment.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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dinranwen
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| Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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Here the girl out, I mean unless we suddenly developed a very weird appitetite for horseflesh, which appearantly Charming has, what better option does he have.
One thing good thing about this whole "I'm in love with my horse" thing though, at least now charming is such as pig. I hate pigs. I have pigs for dinner, and to think of it for breakfast and lunch too. But I really hate is guys who are pigs, so needless to say, I'm grinning ear to ear right now.
Finally Prince Charming has gotten something he deserves!
Now if excuse me, I have some hunting to do...
*Graps a bow and arrow, and heads out the door.*
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 3:14 am Post subject: |
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| I agree time to hear her out.
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dragon_fire372
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| Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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Nice new chapter.
I also am in agreement. Hear her out first, and I'm sure we'll have a few more options after we do.
_________________
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke
Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing
Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two
Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter
Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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Right-o folks the new poll is up and waiting for you to add your all important votes to it so I can add the all important next chapter...
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"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 1:25 pm Post subject: |
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Well it's time for that new chappy, since there are several dragon hunters knocking on my door demanding it. Enjoy.
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Chapter Eighteen: Well THAT was Brilliant.
For a moment Charming debated what to do but taking advice from hot babes had always paid off in the past, why change tactics. He looked over at Azriael, who was a hot babe if ever one existed. "Why don't you just tell me how to humiliate myself and I'll do it. I can't spend the rest of eternity making love to a horse." Although in the back of his mind he was wondering if that would be such a bad thing.
Yes it would. He shuddered and felt the urge to scrub himself. Then he saw Azriael's grin curve her lips and felt the sudden urge to run like mad. "Well my suggestion is that to cure the ill, drink more of the poison." Before he could react Azriael slapped something into his hand with lightning speed. He had only an instant to recognize the Blackheart before his vision began to dim.
Staring into those blood red eyes he uttered one word..."Crap." His body slid bonelessly to the floor, arrow rolling from his hand. Azriael grabbing a handy tissue, picked it up again grinning nastily.
"Choke on this Aphro."
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Cyre was sick to death, hehe, of listening to Aphrodite. Since she'd regained her ability to speak she'd done nothing but make demands of Cyre. Cyre, finally getting fed up with the stuck up obnoxious wench, grabbed a portable CD player, jammed the ear buds as far down her ears as they would go, and turned the tunes up so high she couldn't hear herself think.
But being deaf didn't make her blind. She knew something was up the moment Aphrodite went from being lovely maid in apricot silk to being lovely filly in the middle of Cyre's bath tub. With a screech that made Cyre's teeth ache over the music the horse bolted from the water. Charging at full speed it galloped down the hallway, headed for the living room where Azriael was talking to Charming or what was left of him.
In order to prevent actual blood from getting on her blood colored carpet she left the CD player, took up her scyth, and advanced on what was likely to become the scene of a murder...or something close to one.
She arrived just in time. Aphrodite reared up over Azriael and Azriael, grinning fangs, lashed out with her left hand. Cyre's scyth swept in just in time to keep the Chains of Judgement from slicing Aphrodite's belly open, dragging Azriael out of the way when the flailing hooves came down. "Both of you stop it! Horse to the stables your relapse is over! Angel of Final Judgment you have some explaining to do!"
With a flick of her tail Aphrodite turned and pranced out with a 'You can Have him' air. Cyre turned to her sister who shrugged. "This is the kind of thing we should discuss over lunch. Should I order pizza?" Cyre couldn't even reply, how could she think of food at a time like this?
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Azriael had just put down the phone when the bell rang. Her eyebrows twitched up in surprise. "Damn when they say 'In a Minute Pizza' they arn't kidding are they?" Cyre just rolled Charming over to the other side of the room and grabbed drinks while Azriael went to get the food.
A moment later Azriael returned, sans pizza, with a slightly chubby quivering angel in tow. "Uh it wasn't anything good to eat but you should probably give her a moment of your time anyway." The quivering angel put forth a shakey-slime covered hand. "Don't mind the drool. I say not good to eat because Cerberus was giving her the quick once over when I opened the door."
Cyre grasped the slime covered hand, gave it a breif shake, then wiped her hand on her pants. "Don't mind Cerbe...?"
"Milenia." The angel supplied.
"Milenia. He mawls everyone the first time round. It's his way of saying hi." With a critical eye Cyre took in the young angel and the impression wasn't favorable. "You've come at a bit of a bad time. You see my sister just did something incredibly stupid to Cupid and now I've got to fix it." The doorbell rang again.
"Oh good now they're here. I'll grab lunch." Before Cyre could stop her Azriael darted for the door. Shaking her head she returned her attention to Milenia who was staring longingly at the drinks on the table and trying not to impose herself while sneaking glimpses of the unconcious Cupid.
"Now as I was saying I've got a bit of a problem I was going to fix so you're going to have to wait a bit while I sort..." Milenia jumped as Azriael's shout interrupted Cyre, then blushed furiously while she fidgited with a rip in her white robes.
"Cyre you've got another visitor and the pizza boy still isn't here." Azriael flopped into a chair near Charming, nudging him with her toe to check and see if he was waking up yet. He snored softly as she shifted him a bit, asking for 'five more minutes' and shaking his head.
"Will you quit playing with that! Do something useful Azriael, for once instead of making more trouble. I hate cleaning up after you, getting us out of your messes." Milenia ducked, clearly expecting trouble of some kind when Cyre shouted and stayed that way for a few moments. Azriael twitched an eyebrow and stood in one fluid motion.
"Fine then I'll go grab something for lunch. Last time I tried cooking something from your kitchen I unleashed the Black Plague on Europe." They both shuddered at the memory, remembering how Cyre had made Azrieal clean up her mess. It was not happening again.
"Fine just go." Father Time bowed aside, allowing her to pass unhindered. For a few moments no one spoke, then Milenia stood up slowly, inching away from Cyre, hands clutching her flimsey scyth like there was no tomorrow. "Chronos I believe you're here about my negligent duties?"
The old man nodded sagely. "Well technically they're not your cases anymore Cyre, they're your successor's." He glanced at Milenia then leaned in toward Cyre, whispering behind his hand. "She's a bit of a powder-puff for this job isn't she. I would have thought that Azriael would be picking it up."
They looked at each other for a moment before shuddering. "On second thought let's not make Azriael the Angel of Death again. We remember what she was like the first time around."
"She's still looking forward to Armeggedon."
"No doubt. Still the cases are piling up and I'm here to offer my services to the new Angel to help them navigate through time and guide all those souls home." At that moment Azriael swept back in, two cartons of Chinese in hand.
"Humm, if you two are staying for lunch I might have to get more." Chronos shook his head.
"No, the pizza is here." The door bell rang a moment after that.
"Here catch!" Azriael tossed the carry out to Milenia, who had to juggle steaming hot food and scyth at the same time in her drool slick hands while having a nervous fit...it really wasn't her day. "Right I'll be back and if he doesn't stop pushing that bell..."
"So sorry Chronos. I didn't think it was going to be this complicated. I thought this was going to be a simple job but Charming seems to complicated things." The three of them turned to look at Charming who was at that moment drooling on her carpet face down. "Nothing is simple with him but him."
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Lunch went well, the four of them making plesant conversation, although Milenia remained jumpy, especially after she showered Azriael with Lo Mein. "You are really going to have to toughen up if you want to do this job right."
"Well normally I'm not like this it's just...you two. You're intimidating, living legends, the only angels of questionable parentage in Heaven's Halls. You two give me the creeps." Cyre forced herself to take another bite of pizza to keep from strangling the angel.
Azriael laughed. "Join the club, we've got jackets." Milenia, not thinking she was a matter to be laughed at, got a good grip on her scyth.
"Well I'm sorry but being around you two makes me think that some hideious creature is going to grab me from behind and." Nobody ever found out what Milenia thought because at that moment things went horribly wrong.
Charming, just waking up from arrow induced sleep, tapped Milenia on the shoulder to ask her the time. Milenia, still gripping the scyth, lashed out in a sweeping arc. Azriael, used to living with Cyre or around Cyre, ducked. Cyre was sitting on Milenia's other side and didn't have to worry about it, other than diving onto Azriael's lap and knocking them both into Charming.
Chronos, who had at that moment been getting a flash of the future, was caught off Guard and took the scyth squarely in the chest. There was a moment when nothing was quite right, then a sensation of falling which ended with them hitting solid ground quite suddenly.
Infront of them on the barren stone, the scyth of Time and Psyche clattered into existance. For a moment none of them moved. "Okay who all is here?"
"Well obviously you are Cyre, and so am I." Azriael replied.
"I'm here my love." Charming rushed to grab Aziael's hand and she was forced to hold him off at sword point. She shot Cyre a glance of sheer 'oh shit' before taking to the air, hovering just out of reach.
"You brought it on yourself." Cyre looked around at the barren landscape. "But what did Milenia bring on us?" Charming, stopping his pursuit of Azriael long enough to take up Psyche, who was sound asleep, shrugged.
"No I think the question is 'when' did she bring us." Charming said in a rare moment of insight. "And who's Milenia?" Cyre looked up at Azriael who had her eyes closed and seemed to be 'feeling' the universe around her. Her eyes snapped open.
"Oh joy...we're at the end of time. Armeggedon's been fought and..." she swollowed heavily. "We lost." Suddenly it all made sense. Some how they'd been thrown forward in time and space...into a time when God had lost the battle of good and evil and Satan ruled the Earth.
Staring at the desolate world around her Cyre was at a loss for words. Luckily Charming wasn't. "What the hell are we supposed to do now?"
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Well? Answer the man.
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I realize this chappy wasn't as funny as some but don't worry. The humor will return next chappy.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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OOoh, only skimmed through this chapter (no time) but I liked what I read. I'll be back later to comment.
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dinranwen
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| Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:24 pm Post subject: |
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So our 'heros' are stuck in an alternate time and space...hmmm, what to do?
Really I have no clue, my only suggestion is to head off to whoever controls time in this warbed dimision and see if he's willing to transport you back.
The only other thing to do is to go asking for favors, which could be sparse here.
Hopefully, *grins sighly* the others here will have a better idea of what to do than I do.
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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Seems to me that it's not an alternative time, just they've travelled into the future. Maybe she should go seek out help from the new rulers - Mummy especially. She'd be glad to gloat, and may well let some information slip.
Of course, there's always the chance that complete victory over good has now left Satan and co. bored - whittling away eternity with no one left to challenge them. Maybe they'll be glad to help, merely as a distraction.
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Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
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Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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OOh, tricky one. I think I f5 Lordy here. Go find the winners. There probably isn't anyone else to seek out anyway! Unless you go and find god skulking about behind the bins.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 12:58 am Post subject: |
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Alright a new poll's up. Just thought I'd let you know.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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Finding Time....Enjoy
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Chapter Nineteen: Time in a Bottle
Azriael landed and, with a swift swipe of her sword, brought an end to Cupid's obsession with her. He was still slightly infatuated but that was his own doing, not something the Blackheart had left him with. Looking around, sword over shoulders, she snapped her fingers and brought Cyre and Charming back to focus. "Well my suggestion is that we find the owner of that scyth."
"Earth to Azriael...Chronos is dead."
"Come on Azzi, we need something a little more realistic." Azriael tapped her foot.
"That is realistic. If the old Chronos is dead then it stands to reason that the scyth should pick a new one. Wake Psyche up and ask her how it works, I'm not sure how magical weapons of office choose their new master." Charming looked at Azzi with something akin to horror. Wake the bow up? She had to be kidding.
Still without any other option Charming gently prodded the snoring Psyche once, then twice. Cyre glanced at her sister. "He's real romantic isn't he?" Azzi shrugged.
"Well how romantic can you be to an enchanted hunk of wood? I'm not sure I could be romantically involved with my weapon." Cyre shrugged, Azriael had a point. Yet they both snickered when Psyche awoke with something akin to a small nuclear explosion of anger.
"I was in the middle of a most wonderful dream and here you go poking and prodding me and shaking me awake! How would you like it if I dumped could water on you while you were happily dreaming."
"Due to your lack of thumbs I doubt you could manage such a task Psyche now quite cowing the Prince. We need your advice." If the bow could have glared at Azzi she would have but since she lack eyes, and eyebrows, she had to settle for shaking threateningly. With a resigned sigh the bow seemed to slump in Charming's hands.
"Well what do you need?" Charming cleared his throat.
"Um, Psyche? Do you notice anything strange around here?"
"You mean besides a studly cupid with no brains and two extremely powerful angels that havn't gotten along well for centuries all staring at me with that 'we love you' expression no." The bow twisted in his hands a bit before going still. "Wait, now that you mention it this place seems a little...off....Charming what did you do now!"
Charming held up his hands in a 'it wasn't me' gesture, dropping Psyche on the ground in the process, while Cyre and Azzi snickered. "It wasn't him Psyche...it was my replacement. She accidentally killed Chronos."
"Yes now we're stuck at the end of time, a time Satan rules, with no way back. So unless you want to be stuck with Charming, Cyre, the scyth of Time, and myself in hell for all eternity you might want to tell us everything you know about how the Time's scyth chooses a new Chronos." Psyche twitched a little bit. You could almost imagine the horrified expression on her face and the little tic next to her left eye as she contemplated the scenario Azriael had just laied out for her.
"Well why don't you ask him? Time's scyth knows more about time than I do...besides he's not real fond of me. Everlasting love you know." Cyre shrugged.
"I'm not real fond of you either. Love conquering Death remember? But I'll talk to him. Time and Death have always gotten along well." She reached out and picked up the scyth, which felt light and flimsy in her hands. "Um, excuse me scyth of Time? We need your help."
For a few moments nothing happened. Then a grumbling filled the air. "Time? M'name's not time! I'm Chronos!" The three of them exchanged a 'but I thought the man's name was Chronos' look before turning back to the scyth. "And what's this about help?"
"Well when your master died we were catapulted forward in time and now we need to find the new Time to help us back." Chronos thought for a moment, muttering to himself about 'lazy no good people who don't want to invest the time in being Time'.
"Well that's simple enough. I'll pick him out if you can just bring a bunch of people to me...or bring me to a bunch of people. Either way."
"Huh?" Trust Charming to have a blond moment right in the middle of a crisis. He'd spaced off back when they started talking to Chronos and only Psyche's nudge had brought his attention back to the task at hand. Namely getting back to their rightful place in history. Chronos turned his blade toward the young cupid.
"I said you need to be in the right place at the right time and you'll find my new owner. Hang on I'll see what I can tell you about him or her and where you'll find them." Chronos started muttering to himself, and weaving a little bit in Cyre's hands. Finally he muttered an incohearent scentance that sounded like 'Gee me in a battle', the time 3:33, and the picture of 'Melvins Discount Antiques' flashed before their eyes before the scyth started snoring once again.
For a moment they just looked at each other. "Any of you happen to know where Melvin's Discount Antiques is?" Nobody did naturally and thus they were forced to ask for directions...or Azriael was.
Dressed like a total sleeze she walked into the town they spotted from a nearby cliff and started asking questions. She came back a couple of hours later with a pocket full of phone numbers, a nice watch, a pair of earrings, and new shoes. "The place we're looking for is in a little town called Silent Springs. It's about an hour that way by air I guess since they said it was about a week on foot.
"Well Psyche and I will be waiting here for you. Good luck." Charming sat down on a rock and stared at the tiny town below them.
"What do you mean you're going to wait here for us? Get up and get moving Prince Lazybones." He looked at Cyre like she'd gone crazy.
"Birds fly, airplanes fly, angels fly. Prince Charming doesn't fly." Psyche poked him sharply.
"But Cupid does." Charming realized right then that his excuse of 'I have wings but I can't use them' wasn't going to fly. He was about to get a literal 'crash course' in flying for dummies. His instructors were probably the worst pair for the job too. They didn't give a damn if he hurt himself they'd just make him keep going. He groaned, stood and spread his wings ackwardly.
"Let's get this over with."
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They walked into Melvin Perkins little antique shop at 3:00. Well Cyre and Azzi walked, Charming limped and swore a little. He was tender in way too many places to name, some of which couldn't be named in polite company. That cactus he'd landed on hadn't been to kind to a couple of tender areas.
Melvin perked up when they walked in, then became immidiantly suspicious since he hadn't seen them before. He couldn't get it out of his head that they were 'Government Agents' sent by 'Himself' to look at his stock. While they did browse his stock it wasn't because they were looking for contraban crosses of hidden holy water.
They were killing time until they found the new Time. But when 3:30 rolled around they started getting nervous. Mel, with a little excuse about needing something from the back, vanished. "Well this is a bust. Nobody's here. That stupid Chronos lied to us." Charming was peeved, peeved enough to want to strangle the scyth.
Azriael was messing with an antique whiskey bottle with a stopper when Cyre banged her hands down on the counter in frustration. Azzi juggled the bottle a little, frowning. "Does Mel ever dust?" She brushed the bottle a little to read the labe and was rather surprised when the top unscrewed and a white mist poured out.
Slowly the figure of a hansome young man appeared sprawled on the floor and smelling strongly of, what else, whisky. "Name's Hamish." He said slurrily. "And I'ms a (hic) Geinie (hic)." He burped loudly and smiled. "Tree whissshes lady." Azzi, Charming, and Cyre stared at each other over the drunken Genie.
"He didn't say Gee me in a battle did he? He said Genie in a bottle." The three of them looked down at the inebriated magical man with something akin to horror. This was the new Incarnation of Time? Hamish managed to stand, blinking several times, before turning to Azriael and saying, once again.
"Tree Whissshsses lady." Realizing that he would not stop asking her until she made some wishes Azzi thought a bit. What could she wish for?
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Humm whishes three...what wishes will she make?
-----------------------------
Hope you enjoyed.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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Or Charming's death or something.
But of course, this alters reality...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 4:07 pm Post subject: |
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Good God...could it be? Yes! It is! A poll at last!
Vote if you dare.
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"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry, missed the discussion, but caught up at last!
| Quote: | | Dressed like a total sleeze she walked into the town they spotted from a nearby cliff and started asking questions. She came back a couple of hours later with a pocket full of phone numbers, a nice watch, a pair of earrings, and new shoes. "The place we're looking for is in a little town called Silent Springs. It's about an hour that way by air I guess since they said it was about a week on foot. |
hehe! Loved this paragraph! (But sleaze is with an EA not EE).
Voted for the time jump, though it was close between this and the last option.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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Alright here it is...the long awaited Final chapter. Enjoy.
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Chapter Twenty: Deja Who?
Azzi tapped her fingers against her chin, thinking hard for a moment. Alright I wish you would accept the office of Time." There was a little poof and suddenly the Genie was sporting a long white beard, massive quantites of wrinkles, and the nice silver robe that all came with the office of Time. "For my second wish...I wish...Charming was an actually intelligent, mature young man." Suddenly Charming seemed to stand straighter and looke around with keener eyes, as if a fog had lifted in his head.
"Thanks Azzi." She flipped a hand at him.
"I didn't do it for your sake. I did it because you've been driving us all nuts."
"Hear hear!" Cheered Psyche. Charming sighed a little.
"I didn't realize I was so much trouble." The bow went slack and the two angels staired at him like he had lost his mind. "Alright, alright so I was that much trouble. Will you ever forgive me?" Azzi whistled and looked away while Cyre glowered.
"Not this side of eternity buster." Charming had the sense to look ashamed, well now that he had sense. He leaned against the counter and engaged Psyche in some apologetic conversation. Azzi turned back to the drunken genie.
"And lastly I want you to reverse the effects of the time jump." The genie hiccuped one last time and, with brows intensly knotted in concentration began to wave the scyth. The entire world seemed to go slurry and fuzzy and twisty in all the wrong ways. "Whoa hey! This didn't happen the last time we did this. Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"Shut (hic) up and (hic) hold on!" With a quick look around and then a 'what the hell' shrug both Azzi and Cyre wrapped their arms around each other. Charming looked around for something to hold on to but found nothing other than Psyche. Wanting to go where the angels went he tried to walk over to them but was unable since the fabric of time was like pudding and he squashed through reality like a man wading through jell-o.
"Hey grab Psyche!" He managed to extend the bow and the two angels managed to grab it. But as they tried to pull him in his grip slipped and he suddenly found himself spiraling, alone through time. As his whole existance jiggled around him, and he realized he was at the mercy of a very inexperianced, very unbalanced, very drunk genie with the powers of Time, Charming began to pray.
"God hear me now. I realize I've been just about the worst person I could have. I was no help, I caused all the problems, and I insulted the people who were trying to help me at every turn. I'm sorry." The world went black.
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Charming was whistling a happy tune as he trotted down the stairs, swinging the keys to his new white Dodge Charger around his finger. Cutting around the corner he had to dodge past Valiant who swerved out into his way. "Whoa bro. What's the rush?" Charming smiled.
"Eh not much, I just can't wait to go for a drive. Beautiful day and all that." Valiant smiled at him, that evil little smile he smiled when he was always up to something. He couldn't have made it more obvious that something was wrong had he rubbed his hands evilly and shouted 'I'm up to no good' at the top of his lungs. Normally Charming wouldn't have noticed but the whole world seemed to be coming in a lot clearer all of the sudden. "Hey, what did you do to my car."
Valiant looked up at him with startled wide eyes that he tried to bend into a look of innocence. "What me? Do something? You've got to be jokeing." Charming narrowed his eyes at his younger brother. Humm...Valiant had always been jealous of him, always a little unhappy about being the first son of the second wife. Charming's mother had died in a tragic accident a year after he was born. At the insistance of his people he'd married again a year after that and...well Valiant was an anniversary gift.
Still it irked Valiant that he'd never inherit anything other than the title of Prince as long as Charming lived. Charming wondered if his little brother was trying to get rid of him. Looking back over the years there were numerous little 'accidents' that could have been fatal. For some reason he'd never noticed before but now..."Why are you staring at me like that Charming?" Charming grinned.
"Why don't you come with me? I know you've been drooling over the car since I got it." Valiant had been drooling over it, literally, and more than once. He should have jumped at the chance for Charming to take him for a ride. But instead he stood there shaking his head. "Come on...I'll even let you drive for a while." That really should have done it, indeed there was a fevered light in his eyes. But he didn't budge.
"No Charming. I've got stuff to do today. Not everyone can go driving off on a beautiful day looking like a GQ cutout." Charming looked over his outfit. Sung blue jeans, black leather boots, white tee shirt, and a black leather jacket. A pair of blue tinted sunglasses were lifted up on top of his head and sat in his spikey blond hair. He laughed at Valiant.
"Thanks for the compliment." Valiant was wearing some stiff pressed slacks, a freshly ironed dress shirt, tucked in, and a tie. His hair was slicked flat and neatly combed. He looked like a knock-off of a corporate exc...which was just how their father wanted them to dress.
"You know you should let me go and get back to work. Otherwise who knows what would happen if someone mentioned to Father how you were dressed and acting." Valiant went to brush past Charming, bumping his brother in the left arm. Charming winced as pain shot through the entire arm...pain like a thousand needles. "Hey what's up, you hurt?" Before Charming could stop him Valiant pulled down the jacket of the coat to reveal...a tattoo covered in vasaline and plastic wrap.
It said 'Cupid' in bright red cursive letters and had a golden arrow with a heart shaped head and white fletching running through it. "Holy crap where'd you get that? When did you get that? How the hell are you going to hide that from Dad?" Charming stared at the tattoo...he didn't remember getting that...or getting drunk enough not to remember getting that. "What's wrong? Getting forgetful in your old age?"
Charming shook his head, shook off his brother, shrugged back into his coat and walked down the hallway and through a door into the garage. Sitting there in the soft interior lights was his new muscle car. He plopped himself behind the wheel, lowered his shades over his eyes, turned the key, and drove into the sunlight.
He was just coming around the corner when he had a strange sense he'd done this before. He slowed down and pulled the car over to the side of the road, trying to figure it out. It was then that he noticed the black robed figure standing on the corner looking at him. A massive scyth was in his skeletal hand. Suddenly Charming got the idea that maybe, just maybe, today wasn't the day to go driving. Turning around he cruised back to the house at a sedate pace...around five miles per hour.
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In the air above him, unnoticed, a red winged angel slugged her silver winged sister in the shoulder. "Pay up. I told you he wouldn't be stupid a second time." Grumbling Cyre pulled out the fortune cookie and handed it to Azzi.
Azzi broke it open with an expression of good cheer until she read the fortune. "What!" Cyre snatched it from her and read it with a growing expression of horror. Letting the paper drop to the ground the two angels zinged out of sight like their wings were on fire. The tiny little scrap of paper blew along the road bearing the words...
History sometimes repeats itself...
------------------------
Hope you enjoyed.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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dinranwen
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| Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:59 pm Post subject: |
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*Giggles* Yeah! It's finally finished. I'm glad to say I enjoyed it to the end, or did I? *giggles*
Confetti party!
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:55 pm Post subject: |
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I say that it isn't finished.
Or that there's a sequel.
But it is good!
*Adds threads to the confetti*
_________________
Sarothen, Mesoli, Gerastro
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