Search      Members      Groups      Profile      Favorites      RSS      Register      Log in
The Negotiator- Done!
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
 
(currently a favorite of )
   Storygames Home -> -> The Archives
View previous topic :: View next topic  

Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:12 am    Post subject: The Negotiator- Done! Reply with quote

This idea needs work before I post it as a storygame so here's a rough first chapter...please give me comments so that I can post it up fairly soon...
----------

The Negotiator.

Chapter One: Sanctuary

The energy that poured in off the crowd was exhilerating. They were pumped...he was stoaked, running off a pure energy high. It was like flying, no wait, nothing was like flying...but it was close. His heart was in perfect synch with the drums, the base running through his veins, the second guitar the knotted muscles under his skin...his moment.

Ky threw back his head, his voice a primal thing, soft as velvet, hard as iron, his own guitar roaring under his hands, asserting it's dominance over all comers. And then one last lung withering, lip blistering note...and it was over. The drums fell silent, the growl of the base died away, the second guitar slunk away, and his own strings stilled as his biceps quivered. Damn....

The crowd wanted more...but it was time to go...The club was closing and they all had better things to do. As they slowly filed out he turned back around to his band...well the house band. Ky was a drifter, going club to club on an elite circut, playing with whoever happened to take the stage with him.

Sometimes he was top dog, usually that is, but sometimes he was the shadow in the background. Tonight had been something though. He looked at the three guys behind him...new group from the east coast rumor had it...on the run from something gone bad.

But that was usual. Nobody came to Asylum if they didn't need to be here, nobody played the Sactuary cuircut unless they had to...nobody but Ky that is. He was a law unto himself, a human in a world where a human had no right to be. Take the other three members of the band...get them hungery enough and they wouldn't think twice about bleeding him out for a meal amazing jam sessions not withstanding.

The others were grinning at him as they left stage, flashing fang not from hunger but exhaustion. He smiled back at them and returned his mind to his own clean up effort. He liked the club at these moments, just after closing, just before opening...dawn and dusk. Mickey the were-rat was cleaning the last of his tables, Rufus and Brutus watching him just to make sure nobody took a swipe at him.

He chuckled. The staff at this club and the other two he played were all under the impression that he was vunerable, soft, and easy mark. He dared every patron of this dark and twisted place to take him on, all at once if they needed the courage booster. He might look human, act human, and smell human but the last thing Ky was was human. Still their protectivness touched him, like older brothers keeping the schoolyard bully at bay.

Suddenly the doors of the club burst wide open despite their hefty security locks. A girl, correction a woman, in poor shape came half running, half scrabbling like a wounded dog, across the floor in his direction. Rufus and Brutus tried to grab her yet somehow she managed to scoot out of their grasp and bolted up onto the stage, taking cover behind Ky.

"Sanctuary." She mumbled. Then, when he bent closer, she put her hands to the sides of her head and clutched it tight..."SANCTUARY!!" She screamed loud enough to shatter some of the stage lights and the glasses behind the bar.

Before he had much of a chance to examin the woman the doors burst open again, revealing a squad of five burly warriors, they couldn't have been anything else, that looked like they could crack walnuts between their eyebrows...not good. The one in the middle was obviously the leader...dead givaway in the Armani suit.

He made a snap-point gesture toward Rufus and Brutus that dispatched two of his guards to deal with them. Mickey had dissappeared at the first sign of trouble, and he doubted that the Asylum's other residents had heard much behind the reninforced steel vault doors that separated the club's buisness space from it's living space.

Slowly the other three crossed t he room to where Ky stood, guitar still in hand, in an obvious protective posture infront of the woman. The three came to a stop at the edge of the stage. It was obvious they didn't like haveing to look up at him to negotiate. He wasn't particularly happy he had to look down at them either.

"We want the girl. Hand her over human and nobody gets hurt." A head-jerk signeled the beefy guard on the left to reach forward for Ky, to shove him aside no doubt. Ky wasn't having none of that.

"Touch me and you'll die." The three warriors simply chuckled to themselves, stalled for a moment by the audacious assertion. Ky had some quick thinking to do...he wasn't going to blow his cover in the club...not for all the tea in china...so how was he going to handle this situation...?
---------

Okay guys, work your magic. I need answers and I know you have them so cough em' up for me...pretty please...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."


Last edited by Kalanna Rai on Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:17 pm; edited 11 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kalanna,

I like it a lot. Some great lines...

Quote:
"His voice a primal thing, soft as velvet, hard as iron,..."

"That looked like they could crack walnuts between their eyebrows"


Particularly liked those two Very Happy

If you want to know that it could make a storygame - certainly. A very interesting start.

But what to do next*

Can he get his guards to close the doors, and remove anyone who might witness him 'breaking his cover?' or is it even a secret from his guards?

If not, then just get the guards to distract them and make a run for it with the girl. Maybe wait in some dark alley somewhere and sort them out properly?

So is it Fantasy or Horror?

Happy Writing. Smile

*If you'll allow me to assume it is a storygame Wink
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree. The descriptions are great, the atmospherics are there, this is prime storygame material. Very Happy

As for what to do?

Step aside, let them take the girl - then, once they're outside and you're unobserved, follow them out and work your magic.

The girl will know what's beneath your cover, but the chances are she'll either be so scared she'll run a mile or so grateful that she's not going to tell - or deemed so hysterical that nobody would believe her anyway Wink
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah this is a deep dark secret Smee, nobody know's except all of us out here in IF...I'll P.M. Mauddib and get it moved A.S.A.P.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay they moved it! Okay peoples I need ideas on what Ky has to do...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 3:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ok, how did i miss this?

anyhoo, if keeping his secret identity is so important to him then maybe he should let them take her, and follow them at a distance
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Indeed! Only just spotted this one.

Time to step outside methinks.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 9:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You guys didn't miss it. It's been in the SGideas forum. I only got it moved recently, well I only noticed it was moved today...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clapping Great choice for forum.

Not that I'm biased Wink
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well it could have been a horror...but I was trying to stay away from gore with this one.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poll's up, vote now!
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

voted for going at a distance
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 11:59 pm    Post subject: Chapter Two: Broken Savior Reply with quote

So they take it outside...
---------------

Chapter Two: Broken Savior

He wasn't given time to finish his thought. One of the big men next to the Armani suit let loose a punch that would have killed Ky had he been human...or had it even connected. Ky didn't even flinch as the punch was stopped a hair's breadth from his nose.

Suddenly the whole place was filled with light as the latent wards of sactuary flaired to life with a vengful brilliance. The resulting detonation blew the five muscle-bound jerks off their feet and sent them flying into the wall. Unfortunately Rufus and Brutus were at the bottom of the pile and they were knocked utterly senseless.

"Are you five fools? Did you honestly forget about the wards of sanctuary?" Armani suit was on his feet and dusting himself off. Slowly the others picked themselves off the floor and, once again in a line, advanced across the room again. "I see you didn't learn your lesson but let's take this outside before you blow the whole club sky high."

There was much raising of eyebrows amoung his opponants. "Bring the girl." Armani suit commanded. Slowly Ky reached behind him and sized the girl in a grip of iron. She struggeld to break it in vain, her eyes widening when she realized he was stronger than she. He put a finger to his lips.

"Shhh. I promise nothing bad will happen to you, you've got Sanctuary here, I promise." She sniffled once and then allowed him to drag her toward the exit.

Slowly he walked outside, his shoulderblades itching. He didn't like having opponants at his back...it gave them 'ideas' and he was then forced to take steps against their mistaken notions. They looked like normal people until they reached the ally at the side of the building. Two of the thugs blocked off one end, the other two rushed past Ky at what was 'supposed' to be 'blinding' speed. Personally Ky thought they looked alot like deepsea divers in raincoats but he kept his opinions to himself.

"Alright boy, hand over the salamander and nobody gets hurt." Ky deliberately placed himself between Armani suit and the sobbing wreck he wanted so desperately to get his hands on.

"First off the name is Ky recognize it?" Armani suit shook his head. "Pity. That means I have to explain things."

"The only thing that needs explained is that if you don't hand over the girl before I count to five you are going to need a grave." Ky gritted his teeth and willed his soul to be still.

"I'm obligated to warn you that you're in over your head. I'm going to give you one last chance to turn around and walk away."

"One...two..." Ky shrugged.

"Suit yourself." He looked to the sky that was rapidly growing light. The stars wept like broken angels as the light of day slowly killed their luminescense. In a deep voice he intoned, "The chance was given, the offer refused. I am not responsible for the outcome of foolishness."

The sky reverberated like a great gong and for the first time Armani suit looked nervous. He looked scared shitless a few seconds later when a great choral voice echoed in the empty air around them. "It is noted. Responsibility waved."

Ky cracked his kunckles and made a negligent gesture with his hands. The five thugs grasped their necks, eyes bulging, faces purpling, tounges protruding, as they slowly suffocated. One by one they collapsed to the ground where they suddenly turned into rapidly evaporating puddles of moisture as was the nature of all kraken. With an even and deliberate pace, Ky walked over to where Armani suit had once stood.

There on the concrete, was a pair of expensive sunglasses. Ky reached down and picked them up, settling them over his eyes with a slow deliberence. Even with his contacts in his eyes were bound to be a bit funny in apperance at the moment. Slowly he walked back to where the salamander huddled. "Who are you?"

He knelt beside her and placed a hand on her forehead. "Sleep. Sleep and remember not." Her eyelids fluttered as the confrontation in the alley was forgotten and replaced by some wild memory of Ky standing unscathed in the heart of a mighty wardfire.

A slender thread of golden light detached itself from a streelight to waft, like some irridescent metallic mist, to where he stood, cheast heaving as he sought control over himself. "Easy my son. You don't wish to reveal all so soon." The mist coiled around one of his arms and undulated soothingly.

"No mother. I am not some half-trained whelp to loose control over so slight an exercise as this. It's merely the closeness of the day and the recent use of my wards after so long a dry spell that taxes my paitence." Slowly the face of Ky's mother formed in the mist and for a long time she stared into her son's eyes.

"You try to reassure me but I know the truth my darling. This realm wears upon you. The shackles of your duty chafe your control. You grow restless and weary as do all who labor without respite. I cannot hide this from the others much longer and when they learn..."

"When they learn they shall seek to replace me. They shall seek to cast me away like some used plaything and leave the bargain unfulfilled." He trailed his fingers along his mother's cheek. "Fear not. I need only hold on for another three months and then my penance shall be lifted and I will be whole again."

"Yet they will not be fooled that long."

"Then I must not make a mistake. Even if they should learn my breaking point nears I must not allow circumstances to take me over that edge. They are not the only crafty ones." He smiled reassuringly. "But now mother I must take leave of you for if your touch lingers upon me when the sun rises..." He knelt and picked up the slumbering girl. "Goodbye mother."

The mist watched him for a moment, unaware she herself was watched. "Goodbye Ky." She sighed at his retreating figure.

He gently carried her back into the Asylum and locked the doors behind him. He knelt next to Brutus and Rufus, who were beginning to come around and motioned for them to follow him into the living quarters.

Down they went, past the first level where the few humans, aside from Ky, lived in. Down past the were levels, where his bodyguards left him, down past several other levels until he reached the one just above the abode of the vampires. Ky twisted the handle on an open room and uncerimoniously, dumped her on the bed, locking the door after he left.

He continued down, past the vampiers until he reached the bottom of the staircase. These were his private quarters. Most people thought that he liked to sleep separate from everyone because that was how he lived, and he was willing to let them think that.

He slid through a panel of solid rock into a chamber well appointed in a mideval style. He undressed and lay quietly on the bed. "Okay, it can happen now." Almost before the words had left his lips, the moment he relaxed his iron control, the spasams came.

The ripped through him, like epileptic convulsions or a grand mal siezure. His eyes, without their colored contatcts, were brillaint gold with slitted pupils, and they whirled endlessly in a hypnotic pattern. His hair bleached white, then a shade lighter than that, and strange patterns washed across his skin, which creeped and crawled as though something just under it struggled to get out.

His nails elongated into talons that shredded the fabric underneith him, and fangs burst from his gums to rip into his lips, causing blood to trickle from the corners of his mouth. Finally, able to take no more of the pain, as his spine cracked like a whip and his shoulders swelled and shrank, his soul loosed from his body and went wandering amoung the realm barriers.

Slowly he went at first, then faster, until he reached one barrier stronger than many others. He put one hand to it and called, sending the cry forth with all his strength. Then, like an apparition in the night air, she appeared on the other side of the barrier.

She held up her hand placing it so that it mirrored his on the other side of the reality. Lights danced like candles on an eathreal breeze. For a moment he wondered if it was all only a pain dream. Soon my love, my bargain will be fullfilled. Then my trials shall be over and we shall be one again.

Her smile was heartbreaking and the sheer sadness of it confirmed this was no dream but cruel reality. For this was not what dreams where made of, this was a horror beyond the cruelest nightmare. To be separated from the other half of his soul such was pain beyond mesuring.

Tread carfully Ky'Ril. I cannot think that my heart would last should yours cease to beat. I fade a little more everyday, pining in want for you and these half meetings are but half measure. They say tests of this kind make the bond stronger...but how much stronger must our bond become.

He wanted to comfort and reassure her but could not. Indeed his time was waining and he had to return. You knew when you chose a union with me that it would not be easy. Pairings such as ours are frowned upon but don't worry...the time shall be gone before you noticed it. You've waited so long that a little longer cannot do any more harm...

She said something but already he was being pulled back to where his body lay drenched in sweat but still in it's form. As he shrugged back into the heavy flesh of mortality he couldn't help but weep...so close....
---------------------

In the room at the end of the hall a few levels higher the salamander woman woke suddenly. The temperature plummeted. Her heart froze. Then cracked. Evil, great evil was stalking toward them. She knew, it was her gift and her curse, to know. She sprang to her feet, hands already unlocking the door...then she paused.

She remembered nothing of her journey into the heart of the Asylum, and she knew nothing about any of them...aside from her strange saviour Ky. But where would she find him and would he belive her? She'd been hurt so many times in the past yet she felt obligated to tell him of this impending danger. On silent feet she walked into the all and tested the air around her.

Locking onto Ky's scent she began to venture lower into the depths of her newfound sanctuary.
--------------------
What is this mysterious evil she is going to tell Ky about?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 1:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very, very tough decision point, Kalanna! Shocked

What sort of evil is stalking her? Well, given the setting... and given that she is a salamander girl... I'd have to say something like a dragon or a demon. Possibly an army of them, coming to bring an end to civilisation as they know it. They're out to destroy the strongest threats to them, which leads them to powerful and magical people.

Then, when the world is weakened enough, they can bring about the chaos they desire. If I think of anything better, I'll be back, but like I said - this one's tough!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 3:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe a newt? Seeking revenge for their missing eyeballs?

Ok, I'll come back with a better suggestion later.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, something that bad indeed. Devils seem appropriate here!
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

votevotevotevoteVote Now!!!
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 1:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mwhahahaha - It is I, Arch-Fiend of Pysonia, Lord of the 6th Realm...

Get you autographs now.

Voted, to create a tie.

Hang on - something bad's going to happen to me if I win isn't it Rai.

Damn
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kudos to catching on Lordy...but because you did I can't be too mean to you...double damn...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Araex
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 2:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's gotta be devils... maybe the boss of Armani guy.
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 12:52 pm    Post subject: Chapter Three: Lord of the Night Reply with quote

Oh Lorrrdddyyyy! Hehehehehehe...
--------------------

Chapter Three: Lord of the Night

Ky heard her stealthy footfalls approaching, how could he not when they sounded like someone hitting a gong with a hammer. With a groan as pain lanced through his soul, he sat up and reached for the first thing he could find to put on. It was, unfortunately, a mideval style silk shirt. He sighed, the lace was too much.

It was almost more than he could do to phase through the wall and back into the landing at the bottom of the stairs. Quickly he unrolled his battered sleepingbag and shoved the battered canvass dufflebag under his head. Quickly propping the guitar case against the wall he sighed and closed his eyes...only to be awakened a moment later by a burning touch on his shoulder.

"Sorry to wake you...um Ky wasn't it?" He nodded, clenching his teeth against the pain. Her eyes sparkled with worry. "Are you okay? I mean you are only human and those ward lights were pretty intense." Again he nodded, not trusting himself not to scream.

She sat on her heels, absently chewing on the end of a strand of hair. "Well, you see, I'm a salamander and we're fire creatures but every once and a while one of us will be born with earth or wind abilities. I'm one of them. I can see the future."

He was close to passing out from pain and that, and the fact she was treating him like an ignorant fool, was making him irritable. "Good for you." He snapped. If he really wanted that extra pain he could too. For a moment she shifted nervously then she continued to elaborate.

"Well tonight I had a vision. I saw an ugly, terrible demon laughing as he burned this place too the ground. You tried to stop him but he struck you down."

"Fat chance." He muttered and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"You really don't look that well at all. I think that maybe you should go see one of the weres...don't they have healing powers or some such." He forced himself to sit up, completely abandoning his 'I'm okay' attitude.

"Look lady. Just give me your hand so I can read the vision for myself."

"You can do that!" He reached out and removed the false memories and she squealed in shock.

"I can do a hell of a lot more than you can when it comes right down to it but generally I stay out of it...and I'm not normally this rude so I appologize before hand for any more of the extremely rude comments I know I'm going to make but you'll have to excuse me. I'm in extreme pain here."

She looked at him with pity. "You're a mage arn't you, a human mage. I thought you were all gone." Mage huh? Worked for him. "My names Ferissa." She extended her hand. "And this is what I've seen."

Slowly, knowing exactly what it was going to cost him, he reached out to see this vision of terror that was strong enough to make Ferissa shrug out of the combination of his sleep command, weak as it was, and her own drug enduced fog. There was an electric shock as their fingers touched and he realized he was going to have to tread carefully with this one, she was 'perceptive'.

They wandered through Asylum, ignored by the many scurrying figures that were running or doing combat with myriad imps and lesser devils. In the center of the inferno stood a massive black demon with huge bat-like wings that swept the celeing. His multitude of porcupine like spines that created his hair around spade shaped ears were all aflame.

His skin was like cooled lava with red hot magma just benieth where you could see it under his pink spandex, his teeth wickedly pointed in a malicious grin, and his red eyes blazed with unholy joy as his massive claws caught up yet another combatant, a massive werebear, and rent it in half. His long spiked tail whipped around and destroyed everyone behind him.

Can no one challenge me! It was then that a blazing figure, blazing with light not fire, walked out of the malestrom. The red eyed demon turned to face him with mock surprise. Why Ky'Ril! What a shock to see you here! Well not really but I thought I'd say something corney like that anyway. Prepare to face your doom!

Ky only pointed and snickerd. The demon swept his tail at deadly speed toward the glowing figure. The demon paused. "Is pink my colour?" he intoned before finishing the sweep of his spikes. Ky jumped and evaded it nicely and the demon roared in rage, his pink spandex vanishing as flames erupted all over him. That was just for looks. NOW FOR YOUR DOOM!!!

He swept his massive claws again and again until Ky vanished benith the flames. The demon laughed in triumph. Teach you to snicker at my wardrobe for I am Lord of the Night!


The dream ended abruptly where Ferissa had woken. Ky was forced to double over and wrap his arms around himself to prevent the pain that was shredding through him from reaching the surface. He squeezed his eyes shut so Ferissa couldn't see the condition they were in. They had to be glowing by now.

"Hang on I'll go get someone to help!" She turned to race off when an iron grip encircled her wrist and wouldn't let go.

"No! I'll be fine in a few hours. You just go back to bed and we'll see each other after sundown." She stared at him, a hand over her mouth in shock. He realized with a mental slap that his eyes were open. "About the eyes...I can explain..."

"While you're at it you can explain how you're holding onto me and not charring to a crisp." He stared at her skin. It was glowing a brilliant golden color, like a thousand candles and was just as hot too. Salamanders tended to do that when nervous or alarmed.

He mentally slapped himself again then was forced to stop as pain, a renewed attack, charged through each of his nerves like lightning. At this rate he wasn't going to be able to hold himself together and yet Ferissa was way too close to finding out who he was. At the memory of his beloved a silver tear tracked down his cheek.

"Please, for the love of all things sacred, forget that this night ever happened. Leave dealing with Lord of the Night to me but forget the rest. The alley, the wards, the dream-sharing, and this..." His voice broke as pain laced through him again.

Ferissa stood there staring at him for a moment. Ky had saved her, she owed him that, and he was willing to deal with the demon, however he could, yet somebody should know about this right....
---------------
What should Ferissa do?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What should Ferissa do? What should Rai do would be a more accurate question - and the answer is run very, very fast.

Pink Spandex - I ask you.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*grins* Poor lordy. First a plushy-kitten, now a pink spandex-wearing demon!

I think she should try to persuade Ky to let her work with him. Point out that the dream came to her and she could be useful in future. She won't want to be left out in the cold. She is a salamander girl, after all Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And don't forget Cryms has promised something nasty as well. Everybody hates me. *sniff*
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Araex
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Funky chapter...

Well, it seems clear we have to stay near him - after all, it was our vision. The gods want us to help him.

Short-term? No idea... perhaps we should find a corner to curl up in for the night, and then go talk to him?
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 11:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well if you don't like the spandex you would have hated my first idea...and you can blame Stoat for that just ask her why...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 11:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lordy can call it payback for the stoat stew comment Razz
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 4:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't make that until afterwards.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice chappy! I am catching up now, so more later.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 11:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ye should be voteing now...yarg!
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Voted.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 11:17 pm    Post subject: Chapter Four: A Discussion On Gods Reply with quote

Okay I know it's a sharp turn-around but I need to get moving...
---------------------

Chapter Four: A Discussion on Gods

Ferissa knelt and gently wiped away the tear. "Don't worry Ky. I can trust you with my life you'll have to trust me with yours...or your secrets at least." Was it a trick of the light or was his flesh trying to rearrange it's self? "However, I hope you realize I have no intention of running off and crying in a corner. The god's sent me this vision..."

She was startled by his harsh bark of laughter. "Gods! Don't speak to me about Gods!" He pulled himself into a sitting position and stared directly into her eyes, and gods help her those eerie golden eyes wouldn't let her look away. "The Gods," he said the word with the same rancor someone would have for rotten meat. "with the exception of the Goddess of Light, are a bunch of children. Eternally squabbling over who has this right or that right. When was the last time someone called on a god and was answered."

She flushed hot and shook a little. Who was Ky that he could be so impudent and without fear. But she did muster the courage for a retort. "Every time a grievence too severe to be settled amoungst ourselves arises we call for a Gathering. There the leaders speak their quarrel and the Negotiator solves the problems. Is not the Negotiator a god?"

For a moment Ky debated telling her he had no clue but Ferissa wasn't stupid. Ky didn't seem like the kind of man who'd miss picking up knowledge about someone like the Negotiator...but he wasn't going to tell her just how much he did know.

"Alright, I'll give you that one. The Negotiator is a god but he dosen't come when you call you must go to him...or at least you must go to the Hall. What you're talking about, when the Gods actually give help when called upon, that's called an Intervention not a Negotiation."

"A technicality..." Ky smiled then fought back a wave of nausia.

"God's are as bound by technicalities as we are. Otherwise why do they choose to live outside mortal bonds? Surely you've heard of the trouble that is spawned when a God and a mortal pair?" Ferissa stared at him blankly.

"Do you mean that old myth about the Goddess of Light and the Dragon Lord Lisril Keenblade? But...I thought...all was well? She bore two children, sons both, and they were marked as gods so Lisril gave his lordship to another with the promise that his sons would wed the new lords daughters...happy ending right?"

Ky shook his head...Happy ending? The girl's either still high or she's read one too many romance novels. "The tale dosen't end there unfortuantly. The Goddess of Light had other children remember...full god children..." Seeing her blank look Ky sighed. He was going to have to tell her the whole story...and not where others could overhear.

Slowly he forced himself to stand, even though it felt like he was peeling his skin off in individual layers and wringing his organs. Ferissa silently aided him and he nodded his mute thanks. "Hold tight and don't worry if anything strange happens."

"You mean like your muscles trying to rearrange themselves, they're doing that now." Ky sighed.

"I know and it hurts," he gasped as a spasm shook him. "Alot, now come on before I totally fail on you." He put his hand on the wall and they slowly seeped through it. Ferissa gasped at the room on the other side but said nothing, merely helped Ky to the bed where he lay down, eyes closed. "Now I think I'll tell you the story from the beginning."

His voice was a faint, painfilled whisper, yet it still painted images on her mind. "Long ago, before this world drew it's first breath, there was the Goddess Of Light, Ay'Zlae Dawnsong. And she was alone in the universe without any world or kin to call her own. She wandered for many ages amoung the barriers of the worlds, able to reach into any she chose, but unable to live within them."

"Why?"

"It's a mystery my friend. A mystery as in the answer is out there but I cannot tell it to you...it is forbidden." Ferissa wanted to ask why but already Ky had moved onto another part of his story. "One day, as the Ay'Zlae sat weaping by a world barrier, a voice came from the other side asking her why she wept. Because I am lonely. For a moment the being thought and then the wall shimmered and it crossed into the place between worlds.

Then I shall comfort you. Until that moment the Ay'Zlae had no shape, needing none but that of a lightray, yet now staring at the creature in front of her she found it's shape pleasing and bent her light into that form. It hardened that way, keeping that form as her own forever, even though she could bend it into others."

He coughed a bit, telling the tale was taking it out of him. "Fair lady my name is Lisril Keenblade and I am the Dragon Lord. Many times in the past have I thought I heard your weaping, yet never before could I find the source. Many nights did I trouble over this problem and now, at last, I think I have found a solution. You need not be lonely if I never leave your side.

For a long time they wandered together in the place between worlds, becoming first friends then lovers. One day, long after their courtship had ended, Ay'Zlae bore two strong sons unto the Dragon Lord. The eldest," here Ky paused. "The eldest was called Soulblade and the youngest called Vy'Diril Shadowspine. Lisril was overjoyed for now he had two strong sons to rule after him.

Yet all was not well. There was a power in the place between worlds, a power that had watched and waited ever since the Ay'Zlae first woke within that place. It had never spoken, never heeded her sobbing nor dried her tears...yet it would claim her heart all the same. So it stole unto her and gifted her with four children, seeking to out do it's rival."

"But..." Ky glared at her and she sunk back into silence.

"Now you must understand, as powerful as Lisril was, as immortal as he was, he would still die one day. This made his sons demigods only, not true gods as their mother was. The four children the power had gifted upon her were true gods, full blooded and mighty.

The eldest was her first daughter, Fy'Sysae Firefang whom is your god no doubt, followed by Sy'Quae Tidetalon, Py'Gyiae Stonescale, and the single son Ly'Srril Windwings. These four consumed Ay'Zlae's time, always showing her what bit of magic they could do that her other son's could not.

Then there was the trouble within Lisril's own lands. The dragons didn't want to be ruled by a demigod, no matter how charming and polite. A ruler that never died was bound to become short with his ever changing subjects. Thus it was that they gave Lisril the option. He could give up his crown or he could become an exhile. He willingly gave up his crown...but in doing so gave up much of his power. The next time he tried to cross the barrier between worlds, the nameless power trapped him within it until he died."

For a moment Ky was unable to go on, choaking down the pain. When he could continue tears stood in his eyes. "Ay'Zlae went into mourning and the sun stopped shining. At first the dragons wept and wailed to the Goddess and her full god children...to no avail. They would not heed their cries. So they turned unto Lisril's yopngest son and beseeched him to lift the darkness.

Vy'Diril laughed in their faces. I am the lord of darkness! Wherever the night lingers or the shadow falls, therein lies my kingdom and all who there reside are my subjects. Bow before me!" And he drove them cruelly with whips of darkness and night haunts until they submitted.

Save for the new Lord's daughter. She alone had resisted Vy'Diril's ugly compulsions and fear and went in search of his brother. Soulblade wasn't easy to find. Many years before he had withdrawn to seclusion after his powers became...difficult."

"How! What do you mean difficult?"

Ky smiled. "Soulblades powers were those of spirit and soul. Every creature slain called out to him from the place of its death and trailed at his heels like some dog finally having found it's master. The living found him irrisistable, a constant source of strength and hope. Their minds and deeds cried out to him and he could not shut them out. And that knowledge of them stood in his eyes, unhidden from their veiw. They came to revile and hate him for not disguising the truth and spurned him at every turn.

Thus he had retreated from them, lest they decide to do more than drive him away. When night had fallen it had troubled him not, as a brilliant aura of spirit-light surrounded him always. It was that light that guided the new Lord's daughter, Vyrriandi Noblecrest, to him. She landed and opened her mouth to speak...and found she needed not.

Soulblade knew already what was needed, why she had come, and when she looked into his eyes she found no reason to look away. Indeed it was love at first sight, a bonding of souls, as is uncommon amoung dragons. While a dragon might spend all it's long life searching for it's soulmate, it has only a slender chance of finding it. But when they do they'll move mountains to stay next to their beloved's side."

"Oh," Ky nearly puked. One too many romance novels indeed.

"Soulblade needed no urging. Now that he knew what had befallen his father, he too mourned, and he used his powers to slip through the barrier between worlds and go to his mother's side. While her other children made snide, waspish, jibes at his expense he comforted his mother, dried her tears, and moved her to bring light back into the world. Thus he became his mother's favorite.

When the light returned Vy'Diril's rule was overthrown. Yet the dragons knew he'd become a vicious enemy so they promised him Vyrriandi as his mate. When news reached Vyrriandi and Soulblade she begged her father. Soulblade had restored the light so shouldn't the eldest daughter go to him while her younger sister was wed to Vy'Diril? The dragons were split of mind so they sent the Lord to seek the gods.

Now Ay'Zlae's other four children were jealous of Soulblade. They sought amoung the other worlds, one suitable for their plans, and into it they placed creatures of their own making. Salamanders, kraken, were-creatures, and wraiths. They baide their mother come see what they had done and she was apalled and sent in the angels but to no avail.

Their creature warred with one another in the world and were tearing it apart. Ay'Zlae baid her elder sons to come set things to right. Vy'Diril, the sting of his defeat and the uncertainty of his marrage to Vyrriandi festering in his soul, decided that the best way would be to fight force with force and he created the vampyer and sent the demons loose on the world.

Before Soulblade's chance though the Dragon Lord arrived and sought the question of the gods. Ay'Zlae was about to answer when Sy'Quae spoke up. Our noble brother has things to do in other worlds, surely he wouldn't mind if your daughter wed his younger brother? The others clamored agreement, save Soulblade who's brow had darkened."

Ky was fading fast, yet he had to finish the tale now that he'd started it. "Ay'Zlae sensed some mischief afoot and knew that she must prevent it. She brought Vyrriandi to where they had gathered and asked the young dragoness which brother she would rather have and why.

My lady I would have the lord Soulblade as my mate, not because he banished the darkness from my world, or because he is eldest. No it is simply because I can meet his eyes and not be ashamed of myself, not have to degrade myself in his presence. It is because I love him.

And none needed ask if Soulblade loved her in return, the answer was in his eyes. Seeing that he was about to lose the decision Vy'Diril jumped up and said. "Ha! You've had more time with my brother than with me. I'm sure that if you spent time in my company you might come to feel differently.

Yes mother and Soulblade must do something about the world we've fouled. Besides she is mortal and he is clearly more god than mortal, unlike his brother who is swayed by simple mortal pursuits. Fy'Sysae was cunning but it was Ly'Srril who was devious.

The solution is simple. We shall test Soulblade to see if he can be trusted to remain mortal enough and see if the bond between them is enscorcelment or true love. He shall barred from his major powers and be sent unto that world, called Earth, to bring peace. Vyrriandi shall return with Vy'Diril to the Dragon realm and shall there spend every day in his company. If Soulblade summons not his greater powers and Vyrriandi shows no interest in Vy'Diril then they may be united when the task is complete.

With so much support behind the idea, and the unfair fairness it flaunted, Ay'Zlae could not help but agree, dooming her eldest son and his mate. And that is your happy ending for you..."

With that Ky passed out, sweat drenching his pillow, to sleep at last. Ferissa chewed her hair for a moment then quietly tried to leave. Yet there was no way out save the way she had come and Ky wasn't about to wake up.

She thought about the legend he'd told her, it was nothing like the other versions she'd heard. He'd practically told her that Soulblade was the Negotiator...or was he? Her head hurt from pondering too many questions and from coming down off her high.

She found some spare blankets and cusions to make her night comfortable and lay down to sleep. As she dozed off she thought of a question she had to ask Ky in the morning...
------------------
What's that question.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 11:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the background. That's a really good chapter, Kal Cool

As far as I can see, the obvious question is "How do you know all this?"

I'm assuming she hasn't yet guessed the truth. If she has, the questions should be "How can I help?"

Obvious, and maybe a little trite, but in times like this, it's the obvious questions that come out Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 2:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Vy'Diril laughed in their faces. I am the lord of darkness! Wherever the night lingers or the shadow falls, therein lies my kingdom and all who there reside are my subjects. Bow before me!" And he drove them cruelly with whips of darkness and night haunts until they submitted.


He sounds like me - maybe there's some relation? Or is it merely another name...

And I F5 Shady's plan - a WTF? moment coming up.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes there's a connection between you and Vy'Diril Lordy...but more on that later...

And yeah there's a serious WTF moment coming...one that could tip the entire outcome of the story...but again more on that later...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 10:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A very interesting chapter. I'm liking this story.

Happy Writing Smile
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad you like it Guildmaster but between you, me, and anyone else who's reading this...the complications that are starting to arise with my basic plotline are giving me a headache....
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feel free to start a thread in the guild with some detail of your problems with the plot. Maybe we can help.

You can even make it an official discussion about your story if you'd like.

Smile
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 1:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just might do that...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vote if you dare...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Voted, and winning.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 11:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay the WTF moment....
-------------------

Chapter Five: A New Leaf

Ferissa woke to the smell of cinnamon tickling her nose. The sound of a shower could be heard and steam was pouring through the room making her feel right at home. For a moment she even forgot where she was and curled up on her makeshift bed, glowing like hot coals. Then, suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Ky, clad in only a fluffy white towel, stepped into the bedroom.

For a moment Ferissa could only stare in awe at him, he seemed to have forgotten her and was humming quite contentedly to himself. Instead of dropping the towel, and showing Ferissa just how far down that one really impressive scar ran he jerked a thumb at her.

"Shower's in there. Plenty of hot water left unless you want to steam some yourself." Blushing furiously and wondering whatever had made her so distracted from her purpose, she suspected that really amazing tattoo he had on his shoulder was the cause, she scurried into the bathroom.

By the time she'd scrubbed all traces of last night's, and all the previous week's excursions, from her she was completely relaxed. Then she wondered if he'd wanted her to use his soap and shampoo. He wouldn't have suggested I bathe if he didn't...or maybe he only gave me permission to use the water...what if he was only doing it because I reek?

She was just as tense and nervous when she got out of the shower, flash drying her self instantly, as when she'd gotten in...only this time for very different reasons. Even though she'd promised not to pry...or she'd at least implied it, she was going to have to ask him a few question. Cheif amoung them How can I help? But that was silly.

Why would Ky need her help...she knew there was a reason but the night seemed to be lost to a drug enduced fog. She remembered him telling her some long story, about what she couldn't bring up details only that it had been about some girl and some guy...or something like that. And there was that weird hallucination that his skin had been crawling and his eyes had been changing colors.

I'm off the Junk for good this time. Somewhere her innerself laughed. How many times had she made that vow, to get clean? To get sober? But this time I MEEN IT That didn't sooth the inner laughter. She bent down to pick up her discarded cloths then realized with dismay that they were filthy with road dust, grim, and whatever she'd picked up in that alley last night.

But she had to put them on. It wasn't like she could walk around naked right? A light rap on the door caused her to squeak. "Don't come in! I'm not finished." There was a deep masculine chuckle from the otherside.

"Last thing on my mind, believe you me. I thought you might want some cloths though...you didn't seem to have anything with you when you came in last night. I promise that I'm just going to put them by the door then I'm going to leave and not look while you pick them up okay?" Without waiting for her answer she felt his presence move away from the door.

Furtivly, like a catburgler in a dog pound, she cracked the door open, peeked to see if he was watching, then snatched the clothes and slammed the door. She looked at what he'd brought her, expecting something he'd outgrown or worn out. Instead he'd brought her a pair of faded khaki flair jeans, a brown and cream print silk top, a denim jacket, and courderouy pageboy cap.

Where? His girlfriend? Numerous conquests? Still she dressed, having little alternative, and picked up her old soiled things. She stepped into the room, a little self conciously, just as he returned, through a door she didn't remember in last night's haze But who walks through walls silly?!, holding a pair of chocolate suade boots with fringe.

He chuckled again at the 'Where'd this come from look' that must have stolen onto her face when she wasn't looking. "You're a member of the Sanctuary now. That means you're pretty close to being family. Some of the other girls here are about your size, and former occupants have remembered coming her with nothing so we've got a bunch of stuff that's been left...for the next person who needs it." He set the boots down and grabbed his guitar case off the floor.

Suddenly he turned. "Where'd you think I got this stuff?" She couldn't help it, she flushed. Ky laughed.

He looked at her standing there, clearly thinking she'd stolen some of his mistress's clothes. It was all he could do not to laugh out loud. Me a mistress? Ha. I've too much riding on my fidelity. Then he turned away before she could see his frown and think he ment it for her. She dosen't remember? But I didn't do...Mother? There was a slight pulse in the light around him, nothing significant, but enought to tell him she probably had something to do with it...though how she'd managed was beyond him.

Slowly a warm thought, like sitting on a warm rock in the summer sun, wound it's way into his head. The poor dear was strung out on everything imaginable. She's riddled with more toxins than rat poison. I feel bad for her just looking at her aura. Look at her Ky, she's a lovely creature, a fine specimen of her kind. Any male salamander should be half mad with want of her...instead they want nothing to do with her because of her lifestyle.

The worlds can be cruel Mother, this one especially. Did you know that Vy'Diril is planning on interfearing. That little salamander has the gift of Truesight almost as strongly as I do. She's seen Vy'Diril's pet demon burning this place, seen me having to confront him. His mother gasped.

Not in..."

No not in my true form...or well I think not. The vision ended before anything definite happened. Besides I wouldn't risk everything just to face him. I'm a little more capable than that I think.

That there is even a shadow of that kind of future worries me my son. That oath you swore was foolish.

But necessary. Vy'Diril would never have held to his half if I hadn't sweetened it so. With everything I am on the line he had to put something pretty big into the bargin...more than I hoped for actually. Still I think we're safe. None of the nobility even know that Lordy exists, nevermind that they could realease him.

I still think you need to be careful, and watch the salamander. If she's got the gifts you sense in her then she's going to be a target for worse than those kraken that were after her. Tread lightly Ky'Ril. Your father nearly broke me, loosing you I could not bear.

He gave her a mental kiss and held her in his mind for a moment. I'll take care but you should get back before the other's realize that you're speaking to me. For a moment mother and son embraced across boundaries and distances then she returned from whence she came and Ky shook his head, turning his head to the problem at hand.

Ferissa had finally managed to pull on the boots and was looking at him with a puzzled expression on her face. "What?"

"Just thinking."

"About...?"

"You actually." She flushed bright red. "You came here last night because you had a dream, a true vision, and it frightened you."

"So all that really did happen, walking through walls, the crawling under your skin, your eyes changing color." He put on his most skeptical look, as though she were on sandwich removed from the picknic basket.

"Um, no but I'll get back to you on that." She sighed and played with a freyed hem on her jacket.

"Sorry but I was..." He held up a hand.

"You were exhausted from your pursuit, terrified by the dream, and totally wasted on every imaginable disinger drug. The first one your safe from, the second I'll gladly listen to and help you with, but the third...you've gotta let that one go. The Asylum's a clean zone so says the Negotiator. He won't tolorate shit like that."

Ferissa nodded. "I've been trying to quit for so long...but everytime I just get over the shakes, celebrate a clean week or two, and something comes up and I fall back off the wagon again. It sucks and I'm," her face screwed up as she tried to hold back the tears. "I'm sick of being weak, useless, and hopeless. This isn't how women in my clan are taught to act, we're supposed to be independant, strong, brave."

She wrapped her arms around him before he could stop her and sobbed into his chest. Over the centuries he'd offered his shoulder as a tissue so often that a litteral ocean must have been poured out on his unyeilding skin, yet this time was different. Maybe because this was one problem he hadn't gone through, although being soul-mated was something like chemical dependency sort of, and maybe because he'd been specifically told to watch over her, he found himself with his arms out and tense staring at her in surprise.

Slowly, ackwardly, he put his arms around her and stood there until she stopped sobbing and used his shirt as a tissue, blowing her nose loudly before she remembered that her snot rag was currently being used to cover his torso. "Umm do you mind..." She stepped back, not wailing but clearly embarassed. He looked at her for a moment before gesturing to her with one hand. She gave him a blank look. "Could you turn around while I change this?"

She managed a smile. "I've already seen what's under it. A nice piece of ink and some wicked scars." He nodded.

"Yeah but I'm kinda sensative about the scars. You're one of a whole three people that know they exist. If I'd known you were awake I'd never have walked out of that bathroom until you'd shut your eyes." With a sigh and a curious look Ferissa turned around, her sobs having stopped during the discussion of Ky's sensativity.

He's got more scars than me. She realized that fact with a start. She'd never met anyone with a skin that battered. A canvass painted with more suffering than her own. Yet her scars, though numerous and various in apperance, didn't have the frightening depth or width that his did.

His looked like someone, or something, had excised entire chunks of his skin at once. Taking wedges two inches across and several feet long out of him. Some were short, like stab wounds or nicks, others, like that really interesting one, ran from his shoulders to someplace the towel had covered. Her own seemed so superficial by comparision.

Those scars...he'd obviously survived something so terrible it made the others give him, a human, respect. Thinking back something, some instinct deep within her, told Ferissa that Ky was no more human than she was. Maybe whatever had exacted such a high price in flesh had given him power, more power than Ferissa herself had.

"You can turn around now." She whirled, ready to ask him what she could do for him, when he picked up the guitar and headed for the door.

"Hey wait! Where are you going?"

"I've gotta set up. The club's gonna open in an hour or so and I have to be ready to play."

"Well what am I supposed to do?" He looked back at her, his hazel eye piercing through his veil of golden hair.

"I don't know? Go get high maybe? Or maybe you can get all that stuff you have hidden in your pockets and go throw it out? Maybe you can learn a little about the others who share this Sanctuary with you? I don't know and while I care I'm not your mother or your nursemaid. I can't be there every second to watch you so do whatever you're going to." With that he deliberately left.

It was hard to ignore her sobs but he had to. She'd never quit the habit if he coddled her, never break free of the chains of dependancy. He could be cold for a moment if it meant her flame burning brighter later. Yet still he couldn't help but wonder if his act would push her into sobriety or make her into one of the 'secret users' that were the seedy underbellies of the Sanctuary's.

Back in the room Ferissa stood sobbing. He didn't have to be so mean about it. I'm not that bad. Yes you are and you know it. He's letting you know what he wants and what he expects. He's not going to kiss and coddle you, you've got to take some responsibility for yourself. Do it, earn his respect. And then what? Have him run off to another club to comfort some other damsel in distress? Well what if he dose? Ferissa Flameheart Pyrekith you're not falling for this stranger are you...? She swollowed drily at her inner voices comment.

She'd just met him...he'd saved her life. She'd just gotten here...she'd slept in his room. She'd just showered...in his shower. He'd found these clothes for her...the man was unfailingly kind, even this moment of cruelty was his way of pushing her toward her limits, her own health. To answer the inner voice's question was she falling for this stranger..."Hard."

The word was a whisper but more powerful than any 'I'm getting off drugs mantra she'd ever chanted before.' Maybe with his help she'd come clean...but first things first. Was she even going to try?
-------------------
Well?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Shady Stoat
Elder



Joined: 02 Oct 2005

Posts: 2950
Location: England

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great chapter, Kal! This is getting interesting now - although we could do with a little backstory on the salamander people and the other races. I expect that'll come later though. *drums claws impatiently* Wink

I'm not sure it's such an open decision point though. She's already expressed the desire to try and give up - and now she has that extra bit of strength to draw from as well. She'll try again. Whether she succeeds is up to the author Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poll's up.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005

Posts: 8878
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice chapter Rai, though with more spelling mistakes than usual for you...

Quote:
MEEN
Mean

Quote:
loosing
Arg! My pet hate. Losing. One O.

Interfering. Can't remember your spelling now.

Quote:
disinger
Designer.

Quote:
dosen't
Doesn't

Quote:
ackwardly
Arkwardly

Quote:
dose
does. You don't like this word do you? Wink


Now then for the DP. Well, I may have many vices, but drugs is not one of them, so try and get off the weed, smack, etc ect...
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.


Last edited by Chinaren on Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:33 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes China that is a bad moment for me isn't it...and no I don't like the word does..dose however it goes! It's been the one vice of mine throught my writing carrer and will continue to be so in the future...just think of it as a creative signiture...if it's not in the chapter I didn't write it! Wink
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Voted.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So she sobers up...
--------------------

Chapter Six: The Beginning of the End

When she looked back on those months later, Ferissa would have said that they were the worst experience of her life up until that point. She had no inkling as to what was to come, after that vauge unremembered dream she shared with Ky she saw no more visions. Ky, however, was certainly a vision in her mind...a God at least.

He'd been there through the worst of it, being both unsympathetic and a shoulder to cry on. Heart like stone or easy words, it was all dependant upon the occasion. And never, not even when withdrawls were at their worst, had she missed him on stage. It would have been too much but if anyone ever asked her how she managed to get clean...she told them she hadn't. "I've just found a better drug."

Ky was nervously certain he knew what that drug was. Every night he spoke with his mother, trying desperately to keep a lid on his rapidly unravling self, discussing the fact that the little salamander was headed for a huge heart break. Ky was convinced that Fy' Sysae was behind it...yet she'd been becoming less and less like her siblings of late. It was almost as if she was having a change of heart, defecting to Ky's side.

But he wasn't going to accept that as fact. Not yet.

That didn't stop the weeks from passing, the Negotiations from having to be settled. And that was a trial in itself. The rest of the crew at Asylum accepted Ky's random absences as a fact of life. Ferissa questioned every moment he was gone, demanding an account of where he'd been and what he'd done. It was getting harder and harder to escape notice at all.

Even the others were beginning to ask him if he and the salamander were a thing. Ky was nice to everyone but they all had to admit, the salamander seemed closer to him than they were. Yet Ky steadfastly denied everything, laughing it off with an "I'm only human guys...I know when I'm gonna get burned."

Thus things moved forward to the fateful hour, as Vy'Diril and his co-conspiritors advanced their own plans abrest of Ky's...and the final sequence was put into motion by a seemingly innocous event. One night, as Ky and co. were totally jamming to David Lee Roth's Yankee Rose a new salamander stumbled into Asylum.

"Sanctuary!" It was all he could barely gasp before collapsing. Luckily not too many patrons noticed and those that did thought he was a hopeless drunk, especially after the bouncers dragged him off somewhere. In the excitement of the crowd Ky caught Ferissa's eye and motioned for her to go check the new guy out. With only a slight pout she did so, being the only current salamander resident of Asylum.

Thus down the stairs she went, past the other levels to the 'Salamander' level. The new guy was already being installed in the room across the hall from hers. She wandered in and promptly shooed everyone else out of the room...there were some salamander secrets she wasn't about to share with all and sundry. Taking a look at him she put a hand onto his brow, a hand that instantly became nothing more than formless flame.

Within the blink of an eye she was traveling through his body to that white place deep inside where the soul at rest resides. It was a white place, his inner sanctum. The kind of drab and spartan place a person who dose very little soul searching might have. He was just laying in the middle of the space, eyes closed, deep in concentration as he tried to repair the damage done to his sleeping body.

She decided that there was no sense in waiting around for him to talk to her, she had to 'break the ice'. While it was technically very rude to enter someone else without their permission first, she needed to know what this newcomer was like. Finally! After all these months, another salamander. Hi! her tone was bright and cheery. I'm Ferissa Pyrekith!
----------------------------

He had been in the middle of a delicate fix when she'd interrupted him. He cracked open an eye. And I'm Nafeylis Seareni, pleasure to meet you...Now could you go away? The female crouched next to him. She was probably attractive when she wasn't wearing that 'spoiled girl' pout on her face.

That's a bit rude of you don't you think. I come all this way to say hello and you shoo me off like some bothersome fly. You never know if I could help you. He snorted, reading her aura like an open book, smelling the odd musk on her cloths. It was odd, all these different scents in one place, and would only happen in a sanctuary. Yet she smelled like home...no someone whom she spent a lot of time with smelled like home. Still her help him? Rediculous.

Are you an earthlinked? No I didn't think so. In that case there's nothing you can do for me thank you very much. Run along back to whoever it is that smells like...home. For a moment he looked very puzzled and then shook his head. The strange smelling person that clung to her clothes but wasn't her would have to wait while he fixed the damage that had been delt him. It wasn't every day that you got into a fight with seven kraken and lived.

She sighed, recapturing his attention at a difficult moment again. You're right about me not being an earthlink, I'm a windlink. I don't heal I see. As for the person that smells like home...must be Ky. He's always smelled a bit comforting to me. You'll like him, he's rather helpful. Nefeylis cocked his head sideways. When Ferissa made a statement she was very definete about it wasn't she, no double meanings. Still when speaking for other's it wasn't always the best to jump to conclusions.

You seem rather sure of this 'Ky' and his reaction to me. Would it open your eyes a bit if I told you that most people hate me on sight? He closed his eyes again and concentrated on fixing a wound on his upper arm. When she spoke again her voice was soft, almost chiding in it's near silence.

I didn't. He snorted. She was one of those who read romance novels wasn't she. Oh brother. He opened his eyes and fixed her with a no nonsense stare. Time to get those hopeless fantasies out of her head. Life wasn't a book, things weren't always on the up and up.

You've obviously been outa the loop a while. You Outcast...thought so. I guess you still think that the Fyrwinds are still incharge right....well they're not. My mother was the last of them and she died nearly three weeks ago. It's my father's clan that holds power at the moment The Seareni are the current salamander regents. Since they don't want to loose power they want to rid themselves of me. Naturally that dosen't make me very popular so I came seeking sanctuary. Ferissa smiled warmly and took his hand, he snatched it back.

Don't worry. I'm a Pyrekith or was...until the Accident. When I came here I arrived with five kraken on my tail and still they managed to fix me up. I don't really remember what went down...I used to be a junkie, but now I'm clean and sober and I've got lots of friends here. You'll like it and if you be a little more cheery I bet they'll like you. This conversation was positivly sickening as far as he was concerned. It was time to end it.

Nafeylis stood, at last, having managed to heal himself enough to return to the land of the aware. Do you mind? If I've got to wake up I don't want you in my head while I do it. With a slight oh Ferissa retreated, leaving Nafeylis to wake on his own.
-------------------------------

As she came back to herself she realized two things. Quite some time had passed and Ky was no longer playing music. Even as far below the earth as she was she always knew when he'd silenced his guitar. But her attention was deverted from Ky's soundlessness as Nafeylis opened his copper eyes. "Well are you happy I'm awake."

"Great now I can introduce you!" Nafeylis groaned but had no choice but to get up as she enthusiastically pulled him to his feet and began to drag him out of the room and up the stairs. As they reemerged into the main club she realized just how late it was.
-----------------------

Ky and the band had packed up and were headed for the doors when he saw Ferissa and Nafeylis emerge. He saw just how bad a shape the new salamander was in but didn't say anything until he was next to them. It wouldn't have been nice to scream across the club and hurt Ferissa's feelings, after all he'd told her to go find out more about the salamander and she was probably only trying to help...as usual.

"You shouldn't have moved him. He's not in good shape Ferissa." The new salamander sagged a little more on her shoulders. Ky's frown deepened and he shifted the guitar case so that it hung tote bag like under over his shoulder and by his side. Ferissa's grin faded and trouble seeped into her eyes.

Ky saw the salamander grin. "See? I told you people are never happy to see me." Ky shook his head.

"I'm happy to see you, just not in this condition. Next time just leave him in bed and I'll visit him on my way down." If Ferissa had ears like a dog, they'd have drooped lower than her tail. Ky felt bad for offending her but this was one of those moments when it was tough love or tough luck.

"But I thought you'd want to see him right away..." Ky held up a hand and, before Nafeylis could protest at being handled like a child, shifted the weight of the sagging salamander over onto himself. After just a moment's adjustment, so that the weight was comfortable, he gripped Nafeylis's right hand with his own and wrapped his left arm around his torso. When Ky began to move, he was practically carrying Nafeylis on his back.
------------------------------

Nafeylis had the quick urge to flash hot and give the insolent human underneith him a quick third degree burn but, quite suddenly too, he caught the human's eye. Something old, powerful, and dangerous lurked behind the thin veil of...was that a contact? Maybe the cheerful little bubble head next to him had now clue as to what owned the arm she wanted to hang upon but Nafeylis was no fool.

He smells like the Negotiator. That's why the smell had been so familier! He'd smelled it before, in the endless talks and Negotiations he'd attended with his parents! This man, that god they were somehow connected.

And don't forget it. That dark voice, whispering in his head again. Where it had come from and where it was going he had no idea. It had led him here, when he could have simply rallied the salamanders to him with his leadership skills it had told him to come here and seek shelter. He tensed. Could this man be the Negotiator? No, he was mortal...that was just silly.

Or was he? The dark one might not be the best of masters, but he'd promised Nefaylis things he'd never be able to gain by simply being a salamander cheiften. While Nefaylis, more than most others could understand, and even yern for, peace there was simply too much war in his blood for him to ever be able to sign the treaty the Negotiator had put forth. Maybe that was why the dark voice had sent him here...to tell this servant of the Negotiator that he wasn't going to sign. That must be it.
-------------------------------

Ky felt the momentary tension that ran through Nafeylis. Dammit what was he doing here now! In a week he had to be in the Hall ready to sign the Treaty in person. The Treaty, once it was signed Ky would be free, free from his responsibilities and duties. Free to go home. But it wasn't just the tension he felt...it was the rippling of Vy'Diril.

The slimy feeling he left behind coated the young salamander cheiften like sludge over coals. Damn and damn again but why couldn't anything go well just once for Ky. First Ferissa and her puppy love, now a seriously corrupt noble...this was not his day.
------------------------

Ferissa studied Ky's face and concluded that, as Nafeylis had predicted, Ky was less than happy to see the young noble. But why? What could her Ky have against the young man...the hansome young leader of her people. Outcast or not she owed him her loyalty first...and yet now, even though nothing had happened, she was questioning who she'd follow into battle.

Ky? Or Nafeylis?

It wasn't an easy choice, duty over love, and she nearly tore her hair in frustration. It wasn't something she could take to Ky, like she normally did with her weighty problems, she'd have to figure this one out on her own. Yet as she gazed back at Ky covertly she tried to come up with a reason he wouldn't like Nafeylis...and her heart supplied one that her head immidiantly laughed it's pants off at.

Jealousy. Ky was afraid that this new salamander was going to steal her affections. Well even if he was super yummy and a real salamander to boot he didn't have half the nice cozyness she seemed to feel with Ky. The 'talk about anything to'ness.
------------------

Ky noticed Ferissa's 'covert' gazes. What is that silly salamander up to now? They flicked first to Nafeylis then back to Ky. He suddenly realized what was wrong...a moral delimma of a girlish kind. Now the question was...did he even want to know about it...? Did he really want to hear about her crush?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."


Last edited by Kalanna Rai on Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think he should find out, even if he doesn't really want to. Try to talk to her alone, and see what she has to say.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just cuz he's a nice guy huh Lordy...?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Of course not - because he's the leader. And, being in charge, he should find out if there's something he needs to know - either because it's important or it might lower preformance.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian



Joined: 18 May 2004

Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

See, didn't I tell you I would read this story. I really like where this is going.

I agree with Lordy here, Ky is out of the loop as to why the new person is here. Best get Ferissa speaking as to what she is trying to do.

_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)

Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)


Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Author
Smee
Revered IFian



Joined: 16 Oct 2004

Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 9:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Kalanna,

I am confused with this chapter.

I think it skipped from character view point a bit too quickly without some sort of seperator, which added to some of the confusion.

As I'm understanding it, Ky has some great powers, and is awaiting some big event so that he can be freed from whatever contract he's in?

Enter this new character, another salamander, but smarter and more aware than Ferissa and he knows what Ky might be.

Lots going on, and the main plot sounds exciting, yet we still know little about the overall aims of Ky, or his powers etc.

And then we get a decision point to decide whether to question Ferissa's crush on him? Confused

I know you've had lots of trouble getting this to fit to your final plot plans but I'm afraid to say, that comes with the territory of storygaming instead of linear story writing.

We need decision points that seem to have more of an impact on the story - and then it's down to you to make our decision work in the story. That is most likely going to require changing your ending, but that, again, is how storygaming works.

Sorry if this is a downer Kalanna - but I'm not feeling interactive in this storyGAME, just along for the ride. Confused
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 10:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not a downer at all Smee. Very Happy I knew when I wrote this chappy that it was going to be confusing, wasn't my intention but when you're writing something in the wee hours of the morning after a long day things never seem too clear. I will clear things up in the next chapter....I think... Confused

As for the D-Point...it's actually pretty major, even though it dosen't seem like it. Her decision here really dose affect the whole ending because Ferissa is a key player in the confrontation at the end. Depending on who she backs, and when, the entire plot could shift and that would change the ending...how I just don't know everything's still pretty tentative...

As for their intentions and goals...the explanations are forthcoming in the next two chapters, promise. There just hasn't been a good time to map everything out up until now...

Hope that answers some of your questions and persuades you to hang around for just a bit more... Wink

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian



Joined: 18 May 2004

Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 4:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess Smee is saying that the chapter was a bit choppy. May want to rough out the edges thats all.

I am liking the plot, though it does get confusing at times. And some things just seem to happen real sudden, or there's just a random new character that appears. You got to go easy on us here. Cool

_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)

Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)


Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right edit's done and poll's up...reread and vote...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I got the first vote, for the first option, and I'm winning.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is anyone other than Lordy going to give me a vote!
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2006 11:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No - I'm afraid I'm your only reader.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 1:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I'd like to get one more vote in this poll before I commit myself to the chapter...come on people...you used to be interested...well my fault I'll just have to draw you back in eheheheheh...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I'm posting the new chappy...even if it is only for the benefit of a person...or two...
-------------------------

Chapter Seven: True Confessions, Truer Lies.

Ky moved gently down the stairs, careful not to jar Nafeylis too much. He could sense the young nobel was in agoney. What healing he'd managed to accomplish wasn't enough. In this condition Vy'Diril would have no problems overriding his will and taking control of his physical body.

It would be just like him to pit the boy against me. Damn him and his plots, evil always has it so easy. As they hit the Salamander landing Ky stopped and looked expectantly at Ferissa who seemed obliviously lost in her own thoughts. "Uh Ferissa. Would you mind opening Nafeylis's door? My hands are kind of full."

Blushing a furious scarlet Ferissa rushed over and pulled the door open with a little more force than was necessary, recovering her balance gracelessly when the swing of the door nearly jerked her off her feet. Nafeylis snickered causing Ferissa to flush an even deeper shade of red.

With the delicate skill of a glassblower smoothing a freshly cooled blown glass bubble Ky slid Nafeylis off his shoulders and onto the bed. "Ferissa, would you go wait for me by my room please? I want to talk to the newcomer alone."

"But Ky..." He looked at her firmly, a gaze that brooked no further argument. The same gaze he'd given her when she'd begged for just one more hit.

"I'll be there in a minute to talk to you as well. There are some things that need to be sorted out." With a soft 'K' and a downcast gaze Ferissa shuffled out of the room and firmly latched the door. Ky turned his full attention to the injured salamander on the bed. "I think there are some things that need to be clear between us." With a flick of his long leg, Ky hooked an ankel around a nearby chair and spun it around for him to sit on, arms crossed over the top of the back, chin on arms.
---------------------------

Nafeylis stared at the man's nose knowing instinctivly that staring into his eyes would be a tragic mistake. "What do you want to know...Negotiator." The man, Ky, didn't even flinch.

"I'm flattered but I only work for that high office. Keep the peace in the Sanctuaries. I'm sure that a ranking Nobel like you must have seen the Negotiator any number of times. You can't say I look anything like him."

"Take the contacts out of your eyes and there's I'll bet you my flames they're a pretty shade of gold." He pointed one finger at Ky's face. "Bet your hair's dyed too." Ky patted the golden mane.

"Got it in one but there's no sense in advertising. I mean I'm not going to do any good like that. Might as well walk around with a sign that says 'Hey I work for the Negotiator!' around my neck. But I'm not here to explain myself or talk about my habits, hobbies, and responsibilities. I'm here to talk about you and why you're covered with the stench of corruption."

Nafeylis swollowed hard. He knows!

Of course you Dolt! You can't keep someone like him in the dark for long. Smell him, look into those fake hazel eyes, try to burn him and tell me just how far you get! He's strong, powerful, and covering up several secrets. Try to get under his skin before he flays yours off. Almost before the dark voice was finished speaking Nafeylis felt another force slam into him.

He gave a slight twitch as the alien power burned along his mental channels, prying him free of the many holds of the darkness, some of which he hadn't even known existed. The golden power sizzled along within him, burning him like nothing ever had before, cauterizing his wounds and preforming an impromtu healing upon him. BASTARD! With that final rage-filled scream the dark one was burned away, all sense of him gone from Nafeylis's ken.

When the energy finally faded away Nafeylis lay there gasping for a moment. A weight lifted from his chest and he realized it had been Ky's hand resting on him. Looking over at the man in the chair beside his bed he flashed a grateful, yet terrified smile. "What did you do?"
-----------------------------

That little display had taken more out of him than he wanted to admit. He was glad his head was resting on his arms once again, he didn't trust his hands not to tremble. Sweat was rolling down his spine and he felt his teeth lengthening in his mouth, that fire burning in his guts once again.

Yet it had been worth it. The force, that damn beast, was gone and Nafeylis was permenantly sealed agaist his intrusion. Ky might not be able to preform great miracles, but he could still do things with the living spirit of a being that nobody else could. However some of Nafeylis's deeper wounds could not be healed in one night, not with Ky's own condition being slightly chancy.

"What did you do?" The salamander, eyes wide with fright and wonder, hissed softly again in the voice of a warm fire on a winters night.

"Banished an invading evil, healed some flesh wounds and a few spiritual blights...about everything I could to help you. When I sensed that foul presence...I had to get rid of it. Through you it managed to bypass the many Wards against it that are rooted in the building and the land it sits on. We were all in danger, you most of all."

Nafeylis yawned and Ky smiled. He stood, a bit wobbly, and patted the young nobel on the shoulder. Kicking the chair back across the room he headed for the exit. "Ky?" He turned to acknowledge Nafeylis and hear him out. "I was wrong. You can't be the Negotiator."

"Oh, what changed your mind?" The salamander smiled.

"He probably wouldn't be tired after something like that." Ky chuckled.

"You're rather bright you know that? Now get some rest, someone will bring you grub if you want it, they have a talent for knowing who needs to eat and when around here. Good night Nafeylis."

The salamander nodded gravely. "Oh and Ky...nevermind. Good night." Shutting the door firmly behind him Ky traversed the last few steps at a hurried pace, more to calm his aches and pains than to rush the upcoming encounter.

He stopped outside his door and took a few deep breaths. He didn't need Truesight to tell him what was coming, although he wished he had a better gift for lying. Alas, all he could do was put a small illusion of difference around a kernal of truth, not create truth out of whole cloth.

When he opened the door Ferissa jumped up guiltily from where she'd been laying on his bed. "Now that I've cleared up things with Nafeylis I think it's time we had a little talk." Ferissa moved toward a chair but Ky motioned for her to sit on the bed and slumped in the oversized, over stuffed, much battered armchair himself.

From the way she resumed her seat on the bed one would have though Ferissa was sitting on pins, pinecones, porcupines, or something else of a prickly persuasion. Ky slouched a little deeper in his chair and groaned. He didn't want to pry it from her, it would be much better if she told him herself, but it was obvious Ferissa wasn't going to start the conversation on her own.

"So something's been eating at you. Not just since Nafeylis arrived either, it just escalated tonight. So here I am asking you point blank, Ferissa. What's going on with you?"
---------------------

Ferissa clutched the comforter, digging her fingers in as she groped about for a suitable lie. But what came out of her mouth wasn't a slick falsity but the scratch sharp truth itself. "Ky...I love you." She clapped her hands over her mouth and mentally flogged her self.

Idiot! Stupid foolish air head! You're behaving like a teenager again, mooning over a man who has shown you no more interest in you than would any good friend. And then, as if that wasn't bad enough, you go blurting it out without any attempt at finess at all. Stupid!

Yet Ky, sitting there in his chair with one arm over his eyes, only chuckled. "Is that it? That's all that's bothering you?" Ferissa couldn't believe her ears. She'd just handed him her heart on a silver platter and he was looking at it like he'd look at a bologna sandwich.

"What not good enough for you!" Her eyes snapped pure fury, her hair smoldered, and it was a wonder that the entire room didn't go up in flames. "Is that all you've got to say to me!" The arm slid off Ky's eyes and he stared at her.

"No that's not all I've got to say and I respect you for having the courage to tell me straight out and not try to put a pretty bow on your feelings. So I'm going to repay that honesty with a little of my own." He leaned forward and took her hand, when she pulled it away he only caught it again. "I'm sorry but I can't return your feelings Ferissa. It's not that you're not a good person, infact you're not the reason at all."

She looked at him, more than a bit stunned by his words and already feeling the sting of rejection tug tears into her eyes. He shook his head and brushed them away with his free hand. "Truth is if I had met you some time ago I doubt we'd be having this conversation. But you're a little too late." It suddenly dawned on her.

"You're married!" Again the shake of his head, hair glimmering like spun light.

"Engaged is more like it." He held up his hand. "See no ring. Maybe I should start wearing one...but i don't want to jinx things any more than they already are." She pulled away from him.

"You could have told me."

"You could have asked. We've known each other a little over two months Ferissa...it's not the sort of thing I bring up in casual conversation even if I'd known you a thousand years." She stared at him wide eyed.

"You're THAT old!" He looked mock hurt and grinned.

"I know I don't look it but believe me. I remember taking long walks through the streets of Rome...back when Julius Ceasar was around. Funny man Julius...never believed a word anyone told him." Ky leaned back in his chair and placed his arm over his eyes again.

For a few moments Ferissa's brain tried to put all the pieces of the puzzel together but that hazy night when she'd first came here fogged several of the clues too badly to make any use of. "So...who are you Ky...really who are you? And where is this mystery woman that seems to have you all wrapped up?" The arm came off the eyes again.

"There are some things better left unsaid tonight Ferissa. A damgerous game is coming to an end very soon and not all the players are happy with the score. I'd like to protect you as long as I can...that's why I'm leaving tomorrow."

She gasped, a cold clammy hand reaching up to seize her heart and squeeze her chest till she couldn't breath. "Leave. Ky you can't! You can't just walk out." A single hazel eye stared from a crack in his thatch of wheat gold hair.

"Ask anyone who's lived her long Ferissa and they'll all tell you this is the longest I've ever stayed in one place. I'm not normally this stangnant, not normally such a...a..homebody. I generally come when you least expect me and leave with the next attractive breeze." She couldn't believe what she was hearing...her Ky, her protector, confidant, and only real friend, was leaving her.

"I don't know what to say Ky."

"Say you won't try to follow me for one. And you won't try to find me for another. I can stay one step ahead of you for eternity Ferissa, trust me I can." He got up and snagged a folded blanket off the edge of the bed. "Don't try to come back to this room once I leave. The wards will seal it up again. You're welcome to stay with me tonight though."

With that he curled up in the arm chair and presently soft snoring came from his still form. For a moment Ferissa sat on the bed. Then, slowly, she stood and looked around the room. Her gaze came to rest on one of Ky's discarded guitar picks. She quietly palmed it and tucked it in her pocket.

On her way out she stopped in the doorway and looked back in at him. "Why does everything have to end this way for me?" Without looking back again she shut the door, praying that the echo had a ring of finality too it. But if it did she was too deaf to hear it.
-------------------------

Ky lay there a moment after she left, the fake snoring dropped the moment she left. He sat up and ran his hands through his hair, causually wiping the contacts out of his eyes. He was loath to leave Asylum, not with the knowledge that the demon was going to strike here, but he definetly needed some space to think in.

"What am I going to do now Mother." Images instantly popped into his head. A gothic bookshop in a sleepy college town, a rough and tumble bar in the midwest, a texas bar and grill, or the small antique shop in the north east. He had his options. "Or I could go to one of the other places...I could just disappear for a while."

Whatever his direction he had to decide quickly...the evening was going to come awfully early for him...it always did.
------------------

Right, a bit of a stinker for a d-point but hey, it's still an odd choice
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Random
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 12:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok all caught up.

Since this is my first post to any of your stories, I will give you the same consideration I've given all the rest of the authors here and offer you a general critique. Bear in mind this is merely an opinion and should be taken as nothing more.

You have an astounding gift for finding really interesting plot lines! You can curve enough truth to make a compelling story.

However, you seem to right in a very stream of consciousness fashion. There are times when you have changed themes, character POV, timelines, tenses, etc. with no lead in or explanation.

One important thing to remember about writing, for SG's or otherwise, is that the story needs to flow for more people than just you. The last chapter of this story is easily one of the best you have written. It had really good flow, it didn't get off track, and once I got to the end I understood what was being asked of me.

My only other critique would be to use your spell checker and also proof read your work. Normally what I would suggest is once you have finished a chapter, leave it overnight, and read it the next day before you post. You'll catch a lot of smaller errors if you can attack the story with a fresh mind. Smile

But I would again like to commend on your ability to find the most interesting of topics! SG's are not easy in any way but you are meeting the challenge with some of the most brilliant topic choices!

Now for the DP! It would seem that if the one person who can make or break this treaty that Ky needs to have happen is here, Ky isn't going to go too far. Considering that Ky's entire purpose of being here seems to reside on this treaty being signed, I can't imagine he would actually go anywhere. Maybe he turns the door back to stone just to keep Ferissa and other guests out of his room. If he does have to go somewhere, I would say the Antique shop since it seemed the only place that would not take him out of town.


Besides who would look for him in an Antique shop? Smile
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Random and I'm glad you like it. I'll keep the POV divisions clear from now on but as for the spelling...well I'll get my proofreaders on it.

Hope you continue with the tale, you're the only person besides me.

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im catching up right now. Will be done by tomorrow if I get off early tonight. Looks promising.

Its not fair that you ran out of readers really. Why? Did you not post a chappy for a while?

Im wondering... Do you have a pic/ banner to go with this story? If not...
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well yeah I was off IF for two moths due to comp problems and had been losing readers prior to that, Lordy was the last one left at that time. Now I'm back and trying my best to save it.

As for the pic banner yeah I had one but I can't find it now. I'll look around some more...

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ill make one, id like to! Free!
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why thank you. If you feel it's deserving of one go right ahead. Anything works for me, I'm just glad the SG's getting attention again.

S.T.S.G. is working!

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j111/chiacutie/Negotiatorpost.jpg

ta-da! Here it is!
Back to top
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

corrections-every chappy seperate

1st chapter-
, second to last paragraph, 3 rd sentence-should be signaled not signeled. I think.
Back to top
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

second chapter-

Quote:

"First off the name is Ky recognize it?" Armani suit shook his head. "Pity. That means I have to explain things."

should have a comma, thats second chapter.


Quote:
He slid through a panel of solid rock into a chamber well appointed in a mideval style. He undressed and lay quietly on the bed. "Okay, it can happen now." Almost before the words had left his lips, the moment he relaxed his iron control, the spasams came.


Spasms, isnt it?

Quote:
He continued down, past the vampiers until he reached the bottom of the staircase.


vampires, right?

Quote:
. They say tests of this kind make the bond stronger...but how much stronger must our bond become.

Should be a ? not a .

Quote:
He wanted to comfort and reassure her but could not. Indeed his time was waining and he had to return. You knew when you chose a union with me that it would not be easy. Pairings such as ours are frowned upon but don't worry...the time shall be gone before you noticed it. You've waited so long that a little longer cannot do any more harm...

shouldnt there be some ""s in there somewhere??
Back to top
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chapter 3-


Quote:
"You really don't look that well at all. I think that maybe you should go see one of the weres...don't they have healing powers or some such."


should be a question mark not a period in the last sentence.


Quote:

Can no one challenge me! It was then that a blazing figure, blazing with light not fire, walked out of the malestrom. The red eyed demon turned to face him with mock surprise. Why Ky'Ril! What a shock to see you here! Well not really but I thought I'd say something corney like that anyway. Prepare to face your doom!


you're missing ""s again.


Quote:
Ky only pointed and snickerd. The demon swept his tail at deadly speed toward the glowing figure. The demon paused. "Is pink my colour?" he intoned before finishing the sweep of his spikes. Ky jumped and evaded it nicely and the demon roared in rage, his pink spandex vanishing as flames erupted all over him. That was just for looks. NOW FOR YOUR DOOM!!!


You know, its quite confusing when you dont put in those ""s!

Quote:
Ferissa stood there staring at him for a moment. Ky had saved her, she owed him that, and he was willing to deal with the demon, however he could, yet somebody should know about this right....


Put a question mark after those ...s so it reads
yet somebody should know about this, right...?
And I think youll get the effect you were looking for, you know, the.. diction?
Back to top
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chapter four-

Quote:
. When was the last time someone called on a god and was answered."


Should be a ?

Quote:
Alright, I'll give you that one. The Negotiator is a god but he dosen't come when you call you must go to him...."


The negotiator is a god, but he doesn't come to you when you call. You must go to him.

Quote:
"It's a mystery my friend. A mystery as in the answer is out there but I cannot tell it to you...it is forbidden." Ferissa wanted to ask why but already Ky had moved onto another part of his story. "One day, as the Ay'Zlae sat weaping by a world barrier, a voice came from the other side asking her why she wept. Because I am lonely. For a moment the being thought and then the wall shimmered and it crossed into the place between worlds.


"It's a mystery, my friend. A myster as in the answer is out there, but I cannot tell you..it is forbidden..." Ferissa wanted to ask why, but Ky had already moved on to another part of the story.

" One day, as Ay'Zlae sat weeping by a world barrier, a (insert adjective about the voice, loud, quiet, deep, raspy etc etc etc) voice came from the other side, asking he why she wept.

"Because I am lonely..."

The being though for a moment, and then with a shimmer of the wall, it crossed into the place between worlds.

Quote:
Then I shall comfort you.


" And the being said softly "Then I shall comfort you".

Because it is too confusing otherwise. Of course that first phrase I put itsn't what has to be used, it was just and example.
Back to top
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chapter 5

Quote:
For a moment Ferissa could only stare in awe at him, he seemed to have forgotten her and was humming quite contentedly to himself. Instead of dropping the towel, and showing Ferissa just how far down that one really impressive scar ran he jerked a thumb at her.


For a moment, Ferissa could only sare at him in awe-he seemed to have forgotten her and was humming quite contentedly to himself. Instead of dropping his towel and showing her just how far down that especially impressive scar ran, he jerked a thumb at her.

Quote:
But this time I MEEN IT That didn't sooth the inner laughter.


She gave herself a stern look in her mind, and a "This time I mean it", neither of which soothed her inner laughter maybe? I know you spelled mean wrong, that other part was just a fluency suggestion.

Quote:
Back to top
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chapter 6

Quote:
She had no inkling as to what was to come, after that vauge unremembered dream she shared with Ky she saw no more visions


vague

Quote:
Yet she smelled like home...no someone whom she spent a lot of time with smelled like home. Still her help him? Rediculous.

Yet she smelled like home... No, someone who she'd spent a lot of time with smelled like home. Still, her help him? Ridiculous.

I didnt do chapter 7 there werent many mistakes just little teensy ones Wink
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*bows head* I thank you for the proofreading and will go back and fix the errors as I have time...which means sometime next month. Also I'm glad you took the time, that means that people are enjoying it enough to put effort forward to see this story become the best it can be.

You'll have to forgive me my errors though, I have no word processor on my computer which means I type everything straight to IF and more often than not I'm doing it at the end of a rather long day...19+ hours some of which were spent at work. I'm amazed i don't have more errors than I do.

Once again thank you and please don't throttle me because it was hard to read...I do my best.

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kalanna Rai wrote:


Once again thank you and please don't throttle me because it was hard to read...I do my best.


Wasnt that hard, but I was looking at it through the eyes of a perfectionist. Which Im not-so its no biggie Bigg

I only have wordpad and notepad so... Sad blek.
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Before you go do you have a poll option? If you do then I can put up a new poll tonight and get this moving again.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

go.. try to find somewhere else to stay...


Hmm, well are you loooking to end the story soon? Because then that lets me know wheter to make my next suggestion or not...
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well there are a few more chapters left, at least five but it could be more if the readerbase picks up. Go ahead and make your suggestion anyway Chia and I'll see if I can do something with it. Also is this other place he's looking for inside the city or at one of the locations he thought of...?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll keep my suggestion to myself for a while to see if it matches where your story is going... Wink

I think it would be in the city... And instead of always thinking about his "soul mate" as he usually does, everything reminds him of Ferissa... Meanwihle the big scary thing in the spandex Wink is drawing ever closer, preparing to make his attack but waiting for the right moment...

*jaws music starts playing*
Back to top
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll keep my suggestion to myself for a while to see if it matches where your story is going... Wink

I think it would be in the city... And instead of always thinking about his "soul mate" as he usually does, everything reminds him of Ferissa... Meanwihle the big scary thing in the spandex Wink is drawing ever closer, preparing to make his attack but waiting for the right moment...

*jaws music starts playing*
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The first new poll in ages is UP! Vote!
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
chiacutie
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

voted Very Happy And Im winning I suppose since I believe Im the only voter so far...
Back to top
Author
Masterweaver
Honored Citizen



Joined: 21 Nov 2006

Posts: 1463
Location: Look around

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hid in his room! He's gotta face the guy sometime...
_________________
Sarothen, Mesoli, Gerastro
/\___/\
(0)-_-(0)
| |
\//\\/ ?
| \ |
| ||| \ /
|,||| ,|| \/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poll tied so I made an exec decision...simply because I couldn't wait to write the chappy any longer. Enjoy...
--------------------------------

Chapter Eight: The Bar Across Town

He'd snuck out of Asylum long before any but the earliest of risers was up. Ferissa wasn't amoung them and he managed to slip out unnoticed for the most part. By the time the sun had well and truely gone down he was on the other side of town, and when 'town' was a city of five million...needless to say anyone not looking for him wouldn't notice him. Looking out the diner window he sipped his black coffee and winced. Not strong enough by half.

The waitress came back over with her little pad. "Get ya anything hon?" He smiled at her greatfully but shook his head. His gut was in knots, anything he ate would have just come right back up all over the clean linolium.

"No thanks. I just needed some coffee to warm me up." She smiled, warmly this time, looking him up and down. Ky knew he must look a sight. He hadn't taken the time to shower back at Asylum and his clothes, while clean, were traveling clothes. They were ripped, stained, patched, and overall run down looking. His guitar sat in the booth with him, next to the window so that nobody could grab it and run. A few moments later the waitress came back with a large bowl of soup.

"Eat it. It'll warm you up more than the coffee will." With a grateful smile, since he wasn't up to being rude, Ky picked up the spoon and began blowing on his first steaming hot bite. Much to his surprise he found himself wolfing the food down, the warm fluid soothing his angery innards. The waitress had walked back behind the counter and now stood talking to the cook, glancing Ky's way every so often.

Slowly the man walked out from behind his grill and leaned on the counter. "Hey." Ky looked up and pointed to himself with his spoon. "Yeah. You a musician?" Ky glanced at the case next to him and nodded. "You any good?"

"Shall I sing for my supper?" Putting the spoon down Ky took his guitar out of it's case. "It's electric so I'm sorry if this doesn't sound it's best." Slowly he began picking out the song 'Mama I'm Coming Home' by Ozzy Osbourne. His voice was soft and yet sorrowful as he sang the words. The noise of the diner faded away and people turned to look at him, eyes wide, whispering. The cook and the waitress both looked at him, then each other, then back at him. When he finished a round of applause broke out.

With a smile he put the guitar back in it's case gently. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a twenty that he left by the cash register, nodding to them. "Hey wait!" The waitress was waving the twenty around trying to give it back to him. "It's on the house." Ky smiled, pushing the bill back.

"There's no such thing as a free lunch. Keep the change." Turning the collar up on his coat, the weather man predicted snow and Ky wasn't disagreeing, he walked out into the frozen January air. Christmas was long past and yet the woman had still been charitable to him. It put a warm smile on Ky's face as he began to troll the human club circut, looking for any of the 'help wanted' signs out back.

It was his luck that outside one place that went by the name of Shox, a small notice proclaimed the need for musicians. Apply inside. Taking the small add from it's tattered position Ky walked up to the burly bouncer. The man stuck an arm out infront of him. "What do you think you're doing punk? Back of the line." Ky shoved the ad up under his nose.

"It says apply inside. I'm applying inside." The bouncer grumbled a bit but had to let Ky inside. He had legitimate buisness afterall. Looking around Ky had to shake his head. There were plenty of patrons, drinking and talking and generally doing what patrons do in a bar. But he hadn't even made it to the counter when the music stopped and the bar went silent. That was the problem with jukeboxes and the like...the songs had to end. Glancing to the side across from the bar Ky saw an empty stage...was he the only person to apply?

The bartender knew an out of work musician when he saw one and allowed him behind the counter. "Go through that door, up the stairs to your right, and into the first door on your left." Nodding his thanks Ky followed the man's directions until he found himself in an office piled high with papers with a computer half buried under them. Behind the computer was a completely buried man who looked up with a harried expression on his face. He took one look at Ky and his face lit up. "Guitar player?"

"Yup."

"You alone?"

"Unless you count multiple personalities." The man laughed.

"Funny. Good, you'll need a sense of humor to work with the house band." Ky raised an eyebrow.

"I was under the impression that you didn't have a band. Stage is empty and you're looking for musicians." The man sighed and spread his hands wide, leaning back in his chair.

"Well we do and don't have a band. I've got several patrons that are willing to play for pay and a few members already on staff. It's just..." Ky had heard this story before.

"Lemme guess, the only one's who get along are the one's without talent and the one's with talent can't stand each other?" The man nodded. Ky turned for the door. "Thanks but no thanks." The man bolted out of his chair, scattering papers everywhere and sliding around to get infront of Ky.

"Hold on there speedy. They all argue about who's lead. We've got a guitarist, but a second can't hurt, a bassist, a drummer, and a halfway singer."

"Halfway?" The man grinned.

"Great bassist but the voice..." The man shrugged making a 'so-so' gesture with his hand. I'll say I've hired you as second guitar and lead vocals...on the condition you can sing." Ky smiled at the man. Did he want windows left in the pub? Or broken glass and ruptured eardrums? Most likely the former.

"I'll try it out and we'll see." The man clapped his hands together.

"Great! Get backstage and start setting up, I'll tell the others that you're waiting." Ky watched the man run off and sighed. Human's were weird creatures. After all this time living with them Ky doubted he'd ever really understand them.
--------------------------

Ky was laying flat on his back on the concrete when he heard the first footsteps approaching. He quickly stood, grabbing his guitar and slinging it's strap around his neck. The young man that appeared from around the corner was in his early twenties, tall and lanky, and staring at him. He walked around Ky in a circle several times, as if he was assessing a cut of meat he was about to buy. "So do I pass?" The youth shrugged.

"I dunno. We'll see how well you play. What songs do you know?" Ky had opened his mouth to say all when the next member of the band rounded the corner, carrying a guitar case. The woman gave him a cool look, obviously not happy about being competed with, and didn't bother to speak to him. She just opened her case and pulled out a white guitar that said 'Ice Queen' in sparkling powder blue letters. "That says it all right there dude. Ain't a colder shoulder in the world man."

The last member of the band was even less friendly than the woman. He carried a large bass case and was obviously displeased with the newcomer. "You you're singing from now on?" Ky shrugged.

"I just do what the man with the money tells me too. I gotta eat at the end of the day and this is how I do it." The man humphed and stomped away, ripping his bass out savagely and putting it's strap around his neck. He turned his back to Ky as if to say 'brick wall' and Ky was fine with that. He hated dealing with egos.

Out on stage the owner was telling the patrons that the band would play tonight. There was alot of cheering from the crowd as the last song on the jukebox stopped playing. Ky calmly walked on stage, taking his place by the mike, and stared out at the sea of dark faces. He could sense the band taking their places behind him, getting ready to humiliate him. "Well I'm a bit new so why don't some of you make a few requests. As long as we know how to play them, we'll play them."

There was some grumbling from the audience and the inevitable calls of 'Freebird'. Finally one big biker in the back spoke up. "Y'all hecklin' 'em to play that song but hey, I wanna hear 'em play 'Sweet Home Alabama'." There was a smattering of applause from the audiance and Ky looked back at the band with a raised eyebrow. Three nods greeted him.

"Right then." He launched into the riff and the others followed. The song went off without a hitch, enough that he actually had a few people enjoying themselves even though this didn't seem like the kind of music they'd been playing when he came in. This seemed like more of a hardcore place when he'd walked in. Sure enough the moment they finished that song someone called out for 'Enter Sandman' and the place broke out in applause for the suggestion.

Ky started the intro, tossing the lines back and forth with the 'Ice Queen' behind him. With the lanky drummer keeping perfect beat and the bassist, while scowling, doing his job Ky felt confidant he could rock. Opening his mouth he began to sing once again...
------------------------------

"Damn boy but...Damn! Where did you come from, the goddamn woodwork?" Ky smiled.

"Club across town actually." The owner, a man named Ross, shook his hand so hard Ky thought the man was trying to dislocate his shoulder.

"Their loss my gain...what were they paying?" Ky chuckled.

"Nothing beyond room and board." The man gaped.

"Criminal! Wait a minute...are you telling me you're homeless?" Ky nodded and the man chewed a nail. "Well since I don't want you locked up for vagrency, now that I've found you, I'll have to stash you with someone for a while." He looked around but only Ky, the drummer, the bassist, and Ross were left. "Hey guys, come here." The two band members shuffled over. "Ky needs a place to stay for a while..can he bunk with one of you two?"

The bassist's scowl deepened but he nodded anyway, probably to save his hide from Ross's anger. The drummer kind of smiled and nodded. Ross grinned at him. "Well it's your choice. You can bunk with one of them." Ky stared at the two trying to figure out where they lived. He didn't want to get out of the city and he didn't want to be too close to Asylum either...or too far away for that matter.

But he wasn't getting any 'I live here' vibes from either of them so he was stuck. He could choose to go home with one of them or he could try and find somewhere else to stay.
-------------------------

What's he going to do?
--------------------

There you are, hope you like it.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Masterweaver
Honored Citizen



Joined: 21 Nov 2006

Posts: 1463
Location: Look around

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fibd abother place to stay. Peferably learning how to fight the demon.
_________________
Sarothen, Mesoli, Gerastro
/\___/\
(0)-_-(0)
| |
\//\\/ ?
| \ |
| ||| \ /
|,||| ,|| \/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 12:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is MW the only one who's going to make a suggestion? If so I might as well put up the poll.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian



Joined: 12 Dec 2006

Posts: 3998


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just found this - probably because the last post was before I joined here and I missed it red but I read the last chapter and it's great. Skimmed most of the previous, so I dont have an in-depth feel for the whole story yet, but I think it would be interesting to stay with maybe one of the other band members. Who knows what might transpire if he ends up with the most hostile character!

Has the poll gone up yet? If so, I dont seem to be able to vote on it...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No Crunchy I just put the new poll up...feel free to vote guys!
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Darra
Guest








Items

PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 8:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The bassist may be hostile, but he's most likely to keep to himself and not ask questions.
Back to top
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 11:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for voting folks. Poll's closed and I'll havet the chappy up in the next few days...I promise.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right it took me long enough but here's your reward for waiting...the next Chappy! Enjoy!
--------------------------

Chapter Nine: Divinity or Friendship

Ky leaned his head against the window and sighed. Tonight was the night they signed the Treaty...'And then I'm free.' It was hard to believe that it was actually coming to an end. His latest gig had been working out just fine, it seemed Supernatural creatures didn't care for Shox that much, even if the house band now had a lead singer that was more of a draw in himself than the band ever could be.

It had only been a week, seven little days since Nafeylis had stumbled through the doors of Asylum, only six since Ky had left. Now staring out James's, the bassist's, window he was trembling all over. "I've got some serious stuff to do today man, I already got time off from Ross so you won't have to worry about playing tonight." James scowled at him from across the room, the man hadn't gotten any friendlier since Ky had first come home with him.

Standing Ky coughed a bit, a sudden sinking feeling making his knees tremble. James raised an eyebrow. "You don't look so good man...maybe that pressing buisness should wait." Ky shook his head, the gut wrenching coughing doubling him over.

"I can't..." Taking a few steps James's arm shot out.

"Man you are hotter than a car in the impound. You don't need to go anywhere but bed." Ky eyed James and noticed that the man wasn't just being kind to his paycheck. Suddenly seeing Ky humbled like this had brought out the human side in James. "You've been getting sick right under my nose...Ross'll have my hide for this." James tried to steer Ky back to bed when Ky slipped his grip.

Grabbing his case he was out the door and nearly tumbling down the stairs before James had a chance to react. Darting down an alley hidden from prying eyes Ky made some gesture with his hand and vanished from the mortal plain of things. He stepped back into reality in a very different form...the form of the Negotiator. All around him rose the chamber where, for thousands of years, he had laid to rest the problems of the supernatural world.

None of the deligates were here yet but, almost as soon as Ky had taken his place, they began arriving. Some were alone, others had partners, guests really, with them. They took up their cerimonial stands, each of them looking grimly determined...and yet smiles could be seen in even the sternest of eyes. Peace was finally within their grasp. Freedom was finally within Ky's.

It was then that the last Noble to arrive did so. Appearing in a flash of flame Nafeylis swept into the room like a desert wind. Ky, only due to long years of training, didn't bat an eye when Nafeylis's guest turned awe-struck eyes upon him...it was Ferissa. They looked positively regal and, as they took up positions, they looked proud and relieved as well.

Now that everyone was here, they could begin. Snapping his wings open, Ky drew every eye. "Finally, today, we shall realize a dream. Peace shall finally have it's say over war." Walking down from his raised dias, his talons clicking against the polished floor with it's etched wards, he reached a plinth in the middle of the room. On it's flat top were set an inkwell for each race and a flat piece of parchment.

With a quick stroak of his talon Ky opened a cut on his forearm, allowing blood to fall into each of the inkwells. "Now sign..." Slowly each came forward and each, even the floating Wraiths which were not spirits at all but venegful creatures made of sapiant wind, let a little of their own blood mix with Ky's own. As each signed for their respective race the contract became more and more binding until, at last, the final signature was imprinted.

With a final flourish Ky struck his own name at the bottom and rolled the parchment up. Holding it aloft all in the room watched as it faded from existance. "Peace has been brought about...at great cost to you and to me. Now, at last, we might all live life to the fullest according to the terms." It was then that Nafeylis motioned to speak and Ky granted him that request.

"My companion has ill news. She is a Seeress of great talent who has never yet been wrong," Ferissa blushed and tried to shush him but he continued on. "She says that one vision has not yet come true...that a Demon will attack Asylum."

"What!?" The Demon lord looked stunned. "That treaty isn't even dry and you're..." Ky held up his hands and stared around the room.

"I know of this vision and shall impart something of it's meaning upon each of you. The Demon who shall attack Asylum is not of this world. He is not bound by our Treaty, indeed he is bound only by his own dark Master...my brother Vy'Diril. Vy'Diril does this because he knows he has lost...and he shall stop at nothing to break our peace before all can see how sincere we are in it." The demon lord nodded.

"Ah indeed. I knew this must have been a misunderstanding Lord. I take it we leave this matter in your capable hands." Ky nodded to him and saw the reassurance on each of the weary faces. They slowly blinked out until only Nafeylis and Ferissa were left. She came forward.

"I told your servant about it, the vision I mean. Is that how you know?" Ky smiled, there was no sense in hiding who he was now, not now that his full powers were returned.

"Actually," between this word and the next he suddenly changed from Negotiator into the Ky they knew. "You showed me yourself." Nafeylis stepped back eyes wide as saucers. "Yes you were right...trust those instincts of yours next time boy...not matter what a smooth talker might say." Ferissa collapsed into his arms and he lifted her easily.

"You...you...God..." Ky inclined his head.

"Actually only half but it's not the amount of power...it's what you do with it." It was about that moment that a shimmering light flooded the entire room, stripping away illusion and transformations. The Gods had come.
-------------------------------

Nafeylis was beyond shocked to find himself in Salamander form suddenly standing in the shadow of a massive white dragon. He was even more shocked to see Ferissa, also in Salamander form, curled easily in one of Ky's cupped palms. He was profoundly greatful, however, for the fact that Ky was between the other Gods and Nafeylis himself.

The brilliant golden dragoness at the head of the group walked forward and wrapped a long foreleg around Ky's shoulders. "Oh my son to see you well and whole again, my darling Ky'Ril. My darling son." Nafeylis could just make out the expressions on the other gods. His own creator, Fy'Sysae, looked upon them with a beaming smile, her whole body warm with her approval. It was very clear that her heart had indeed changed in Ky's favor.

Py'Gyiae looked slightly pleased, as if she'd realized it was a bad decision after she'd made the choice to side against him but had been too stubborn to admit her mistake. Sy'Quae seemed serene as if she was willing to live with Ky as their mother's favorite for the sake of her Mother's happiness. Ly'Srril looked like he'd swollowed something unplesant and Vy'Diril looked ready to rip his brother's throat out.

Each God congradulated Ky in their turn and the crowd slowly parted, allowing a dragoness nearly as beautiful as the Godesses themselves to walk up to Ky. Nafeylis didn't need to be a mind reader to see how much she ment to him...how much they ment to each other. A thought dawned on him. He went through all of this...for love? All of the pain and suffering and torture for love...how... The awesome thought buckled his knees.
-----------------------------

Things were going so well that the other shoe had to drop...Ky knew from long experiance that it always did. Vyrriandi was by his side, the world was no longer in danger and, thanks to his side bet with Vy'Diril, his black-hearted younger brother would never again try to meddle with anyone under Ky's protection or with Ky himself. It was too good to be true...and it was.

"Well brother...who's that in your hand hum? Are you going to introduce your mate to your mistress?" The other Gods knew this wasn't true, knew Ky had been faithful as the sun rising in the east...yet it wasn't their minds that would sway the tables. It was all Vyrriandi and what she thought.

She turned to him with large eyes and he shook his head. "A last trick darling. Ferissa is a friend, she's with Nafeylis back there." The dragoness looked at the young salamander noble who had passed out from the amazing sight unfolding before him. "I've done no more than help her sort out her life, no more than a good friend would. No more than I had to." Vy'Diril sneered at him.

"Really? What's this then?" An image appeared, an image from when Ferissa had been wracked by the shakes and Ky had had to hold onto her, drawing the convulsions out before she did something to injure herself. It did indeed look like a passionate embrace, especially since they couldn't hear what Ky was saying to Ferissa as he stroked her hair.

He had been reassuring her that the bad times would pass, that once her system had purged itself she'd be free and clear. Without being able to hear that though Ky could have been saying anything. The image ended shortly before the part where Ferissa had thrown up all over him, fading to darkness. "Well I won't show you the rest...I'm sure you get the picture."

Vyrriandi turned to look at him and, for a tense moment she said nothing. Then she turned around to look at Vy'Diril, her expression unreadable. "I don't see the truth of that in his eyes. I see only love, I see only the dragon who has waited for me for so long. But you...I don't need his powers to see your lying." She curled closer to him and his crest rose as he narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"Leave Vy'Diril...you have lost." Before Ky could react his brother snatched Ferissa from his grasp.

"Oh you don't care about her eh? Well we'll just see about that. Here's a new challenge for you, you can watch her die or give up your powers to save her. Same game, new rules." Ky reared up to strike, indignant that Vy'Diril would stoop so low but Fy'Sysae beat him to it.

"That is my creation you threaten...put her down." The other Godesses, all three of them, came to stand by her. Flanking Ky they made quite a sight but not enough of a sight to stop Vy'Diril, not enough to save Ferissa.

"Time's running out Ky? Will you save her or will I snuff out her light forever?"
---------------------------

What's he going to do?
---------------------------

Hope you enjoyed.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meh - just let her die. It's not as if she actually means anything to him.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian



Joined: 12 Dec 2006

Posts: 3998


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm afraid to say I am completely and utterly lost.... and having great difficulties following it. I lost the plot after Ky had his coughing fit... Sad

Not your fault I am sure, it is probably my fault for not really being a fan of the genre, and 'not getting it' Very Happy

I feel a bit embarrassed to ask, because it is probably very clear to everyone else, but could you explain again what Sanctuary is, and what Ky and the characters represent in Sanctuary, and what they represent in the alternative world? (reality?) Are there two realities?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ky is Ky'Ril Soulblade a demi-god who happens to be the Negotiator. The Negotiator settles desputes between paranormal creatures i.e. werewolves and vampyres. Ky'Ril is, at the moment, undergoing a test to see if he is capable of choosing a mortal as his mate.

His brother, Vy'Diril, wants the mortal in question, a dragoness named Vyrriandi, for himself despite the fact she wants nothing to do with him. Vy'Diril is also insanely jealous of Ky because he is their mother's favorite. He's not the only one, the other four children are as well. Thus the five of them conspired to create havok upon a world, Earth, and then have Ky prove himself by settling that dispute.

With the signing of the Treaty he has finally proven his worth, to all, and not only have his powers been restored he's finally being allowed to take Vyrriandi as his mate. There's only one catch, Vy'Diril made a side bet with him that, even if he managed to succeed in bringing peace to the paranormal creatures he wouldn't be able to remain faithful to Vyrriandi.

Even after he loses that bet Vy'Diril still tries to get Ky to give up his powers, and thus lose his stature as a god. He's using Ferissa, a salamander Ky saved from several irate kraken, as bait for Ky to give up his demi-godhood.

Ferissa herself is just a salamander, a fire-lizard with the ability to see the future and take on human form. She's had a crush on Ky since he saved her from five kraken in the beginning and helped her kick her chemical dependancy. Though her feelings are one-sided, since Ky has alread found the woman of his dreams, she still has hope.

She enlisted the help of Nafeylis, the Head salamander, to get her to the Council so that she might speak with the Negotiator and warn him of an attack by a demon upon the sanctuary called Asylum.

Sanctuaries are places that have been marked as nutral ground. That means there can be no fighting within them or on their grounds. Paranormal creatures in trouble come to hide out there or to live there in peace. The laws of Sanctuary are enforced not just by the owner, the paranormal creature with control over the area, but by the Negotiator himself.

Think of the church in ancient days. Outlaws, theives, wanted criminals, political targets...all those people fearing for their very lives would claim 'sanctuary' in the church. This ment as long as they remained on holy ground nothing could happen to them. The same applies to Sanctuaries like Asylum...no one can be killed within the club's walls or else bad things will happen to those who would violate those laws.

Hopefully I've cleared up some confusion Crunchy, if not just keep asking and I'll keep trying to explain.

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
His brother, Vy'Diril, wants the mortal in question, a dragoness named Vyrriandi, for himself despite the fact she wants nothing to do with him. Vy'Diril is also insanely jealous of Ky because he is their mother's favorite. He's not the only one, the other four children are as well. Thus the five of them conspired to create havok upon a world, Earth, and then have Ky prove himself by settling that dispute.


Isn't Vy'Diril meant to be me? I seem to remember something like that.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No Lordy...you're actually the daemon lord Camdus...the guy who will be attacking Asylum later on. Vy'Diril has promised you control of Earth and several other realms in exchange for helping him bring down Ky..
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Crunchyfrog
Honorable IFian



Joined: 12 Dec 2006

Posts: 3998


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the clarification, although I'm now a bit confused about other members are coming in as characters?

It's a cruel decision, especially as Ferissa has helped warn of an impending attack on the Asylum, but I guess he will need his powers I guess as the Negotiator. That is the obvious choice.

Although I wonder what direction the story would take if he decided to save her...

The parallel with the church sanctuary was a useful metaphor. I think I'm back with it again. Thankyou!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right there are six deities in total. The first, and most powerful, is the Mother Goddess of Light Ay'Zlae Dawnsong. Her first consort was the dragon-king Lisril Keenblade. From their pairing came her two eldest children the demi-gods Ky'Ril Soulblade and Vy'Diril Shadowspine. Ky'Ril is the god of Spirit, Vy'Diril is the god of darkness.

However, a Power, which shall remain mysterious and nameless, gifted four children upon Ay'Zlae. Fy'Sysae Firefang, the fire goddess. Sy'Quae Tidetalon, the water goddess. Py'Gyiae Stonescale, the earth goddess. And one son, Ly'Sirril Windwings, the air god.

As far as other characters go there's just Camdus, a demon lord in the employ of Vy'Diril. Ferissa, a salamander hopelessly in love with Ky. Nafeylis, the salamander Lord who's beginning to enjoy Ferissa's company and who was a former pawn of Vy'Diril. And Vyrriandi Noblecrest, a royal dragon who's Ky's soul mate.

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 1:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kalanna Rai wrote:
No Lordy...you're actually the daemon lord Camdus...the guy who will be attacking Asylum later on. Vy'Diril has promised you control of Earth and several other realms in exchange for helping him bring down Ky..


Well, I suppose that'll have to do. And no Crunch, she added me in because she hates me, and made me wear spandex. Which - if I recall - was pink.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion


Last edited by LordoftheNight on Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:34 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*snickers* Pink spandex...[insert evil laughter here]

Actually Lordy got in by an accident. One of the original options for the poll of 'what's attacking asylum' was demon. Trying to be funny I said Lordy and then the readers actually expected him to show up. And I don't really hate you anymore Lordy...loath is a better word.

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Loathing huh? Well makes everything better.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poll's up.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Crunchy! You've kept Negoitiator alive for one more chappy! Enjoy
--------------------------

Chapter Ten: God no More

Ky shook his head, stepping out infront of the enraged goddesses. "This is my battle ladies and nobody has fough my battles for me yet." His head swung back around to face Vy'Diril. "Fine brother you win. Give the salamander to Fy'Sysae and I will give up my godly half."

"Perminantly?" Ky nodded.

"On my honor I shall give it up and never seek it's return." Vy'Diril grinned widely.

"Well then, this has gone better than expected. Catch." He hurled Ferissa into Fy'Sysae's grasp, never taking his eyes off Ky. "What a fool you are Ky'Ril. Far too soft to be a God really...even a demi-god." Vyrriandi lunged forward.

"No Ky! Don't! He'll kill you..." Ky looked at her with a soft smile. He knew very well that the moment he gave up his godly half that Vy'Diril would not hesitate to deal him a death-blow. But he also knew that that blow would never land. Raising himself up to his full height he took a deep breath. Exhailing deeply he closed his eyes. A glow began to envelope his form before lifting off of him like morning mist. There was a sudden flair of white hot brilliance and then Ky collapsed.

He was still a dragon, nothing could take that from him, but a certain magnificence was gone from him. Some vital part had been stolen. Vyrriandi spread her wings over him, nudging his cheek and curling her tail around him. Vy'Diril cackled wildly for an instant before suddenly stopping and bellowing aloud.
-------------------------

"Cheat! You're light show can't fool me! Where is your half power? Your half godhood?" Ay'Zlae cleared her throat.

"The answers are very simple. To find his power you need only look to me. To find his half god-hood you need only look to Vyrriandi." Vy'Diril smiled.

"Cheat! He was supposed to give them to me, to make me a full god with his half." Fy'Sysae smirked.

"You only demanded he give them up, you didn't say who he had to give them to." Vy'Diril bellowed in rage again but with the three godesses blocking him from Ky and Vyrriandi there was little he could do.

"We will meet again brother." With that last hiss he vanished in a clap of darkness. Vyrriandi didn't feel any different, well mabey she felt..well. Healthy. But that was nothing new. Ay'Zlae turned to look at her.

"Are you alright child?" Vyrriandi shook her head and nudged Ky again.

"No Mother of All, I am not. I fear for my mate, I fear for the salamander and her companion, I fear for Earth. I fear myself. I don't know my own strength now. What if I hurt someone by accident?" The Mother Goddess smiled at her kindly, a soft tail-tip brushing over Vandi's hide.

"Easy child. My eldest son is strong, very strong. He's strong of body, mind, heart, and soul. He'll pull through. The salamander and her companion will both be fine, they both glow with the light of life and their spirits are pure. The Earth shall never need fear with protectors such as she already has thanks to Ky's tireless work, and as for you. My son always had the same concernes, about hurting someone. I'm sure he can tell you all you need to know if you but ask."

Vandi nodded, her tears drying slightly. "But won't he...won't he..."

"Won't he resent you having what was once his? Arn't you being a little unfair towards him? He gave it up for the salamander, he gave so much for you. You think it unequal? Never. What he endured for you was far harder than giving those powers up. He's never been comfortable with his powers, being a demi-god he wasn't given an off switch like the rest of us."

"Oh..." For a moment Vandi saw all of the Mother Goddess's age shine in her eyes. She seemed, in that moment, gazing upon her favorite son and his chosen mate, to be a very tired old dragoness. Vandi had seen those kind of looks in the eyes of elder dragons just before they excused themselves from society and went off to end their lives. "I'm very sorry."

The look was gone, replaced by all the crackle and energy that had been present before. "Take care of him child. Take good care of my son, my darling Ky."
----------------------------

Ky woke in the darkness of his basement room at Asylum and felt the woeful weakening of the wards instantly. Lacking even his former incapacitated strength, Ky winced. There was nothing he could do now. Dragon he might be, demi-god he was not. Things would slip past him now, people would be harder to judge. He wondered when he'd been put back in his human form, and who'd put him there, as he sat up.

A muffled whimper made him look to his side and a smile instantly split his face. Vyrriandi, his beautiful Vandi, lay dozing in a nest of blankets. She pulled a thick roll under her head to replace where his arm had been, and snuggled back down. Flipping a thick quilt over her Ky stood and stretched. "Better get used to this. Dragons were long-lived as a race. Some of the more powerful members of the species were actually immortal and would live until something killed them. Ky knew he belonged to that last group, his father had been one such dragon afterall.

But there was a large difference between the immortality afforded him as a dragon and that afforded him as a demi-god. His weaknesses were much more pronounced and there were more of them. Lesser weapons of lower quality and fewer enchantments could be the end of him...or the whim of one of the Gods. For a moment he stiffened...Ly'Sirril. Then relaxed. No doubt somebody had already interceded in that matter. And Vy'Diril, being only an demi-god, wasn't going to get anywhere Ly'Sirril couldn't.

Slipping through the stone wall was easy enough still, although climbing the stairs to Ferissa's room took more effort that he would have thought. This had nothing to do with his diminished self and everything to do with the fact he still wasn't fully recovered from his exertions. Cracking open the door he was relieved to find Ferissa quietly sleeping with Nafeylis watching over her. The young salamander quickly turned his head when Ky entered the room.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey yourself. How is she?" Nafeylis looked at him like he was crazy.

"How is she? How are you man? I mean you..." Ky held up his hand.

"Let's not go there now shall we."

"But why? I mean why give that up when..." Again Ky held up his hand. He had the strange feeling that if he didn't explain now he would regret it later.

"Why give up my powers for a salamander? Nafeylis, did you even know what my powers were?" Nafeylis nodded. "Then you've already got most of your answer. I drew spirits like a magnet, all manner of spirits, and they all acted just like they had in life. If I'd let Ferissa die, I'd never have escaped it. Besides that it would have been her blood on my hands, on my head because I could have saved her and yet I hadn't.

Most creatures were unwilling to look me in the eye because they always saw their past shames there. I couldn't hide that anymore than I could chase the spirits away. It would have ment that every time I saw my own reflection I would have seen the reflection of hat one heartless moment when I let a friend die to save my own power. Do you see now?" Nafeylis cleared his throat.

"The things we do for love eh?" Ky smiled.

"Indeed. Speaking of which, I'd better get back to mine. Tell me when she wakes up." Nafeylis laughed.

"No doubt it'll be all I can do to keep her from racing to find you. But I will. Now run off back to your lovely lady Ky. She won't wait forever." Ky stuck his head back in the doorway.

"I think we've already proved the fact that she would, indeed, do just that." Shutting the door he walked back down the stairs and slid throug the wall. Vyrriandi had woken and was waiting.

"How is she?"

"Sleeping but fine." Vandi nodded and Ky looked at her.

"You did the right thing my mate. I am proud of you." Ky smiled.

"If only I didn't still have Vy'Diril's pet demon to worry about everything would be fine." Vandi smiled.

"What's one demon to the two of us." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Mated dragons will do anything to protect their nest and young." He snorted.

"This is hardly a suitable nest for you Vandi. I should see about us getting home. As for young..." He never got a chance to finish the sentance
----------------------------

Ferissa cracked her eyes open and looked around. Sitting up she fully expected to be back in the Negoitator's chambers, certainly she did not expect to be in her own bed back in Asylum. Nafeylis's hand was on her shoulder. "Easy, easy. Just settle down, you've been through a lot."

"Nafeylis...Ky's a god."

"Not anymore..." The whole story took only a few moments to tell, Ferissa's heart felt like it was being ripped out when he explained and described Vandi. For a few moments all she could do was cry. She'd known Ky had someone else but now...to actually have to see him with someone else...it was too much. What he'd done for her was too much. Nafeylis tapped her, catching her attention again.

"What?"

"I said are you going to go see him?"
-------------------------------

Is she?
-------------------------

Things are getting close to the end folks. We've still got a demon attack to take place but now it seems Ky's in no shape to defend the place. Hope you liked.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any ideas either way? Any at all?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Lilith
Honored Citizen



Joined: 10 Feb 2007

Posts: 1597
Location: Happily curled up in a Daemon's lap

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, well, well, Rai. A good SG and well-written to boot. Hmm... Ky and Ferissa are friends in the very least so of course she should go see him. If you really want to strike the blow of the fact that Ky is completely out of her reach romance-wise, then she might walk in when Ky and his love are..... well, I'll leave it at that!

I am glad I had the chance to read this one! It's a gem!
_________________

© 2007-2019 Lilith
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 12:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well the poll is up. Vote so that the finale can be written.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This SG's been limping along for some time. Thankfully I can now put a bullet in it and move on. Enjoy.
------------------------------

Chapter Eleven: Light's Heir

It took Ferissa weeks to work up the courage to talk to Ky. She couldn't help seeing him, and the beauty that now seemed to be glued to his side. It had taken her a week just to be able to see them together and not fly into a self directed rage or burst into hopeless tears. But Ferissa, with Nafeylis's help, had finally managed to pull herself together and was now willing to face Ky and...Vandi.

Ferissa knew that Ky had been giving her space, she wasn't stupid and she knew better than to think he was avoiding her. She just hoped he wasn't avoiding her. Nafeylis had recounted his conversation with Ky and, from the way he told it, it didn't sound like Ky held anything against her. But Ferissa still felt guilty as she descended the stairs towards Ky's rooms.

She paused a moment before knocking on his door. For a moment there was nothing, and still more nothing. She knocked again and was this time rewarded as the door swung open. Ky, hair tousled, skin slick with sweat, clad only in a pair of jeans, leaned against the door frame. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he'd been doing and Ferissa began to blush and glow. Ky snorted. "I'm the one who should be embarassed. I figured you'd be coming to talk sooner or later and yet..."

"Well it is your room...you can do as you like."

"Well then I'd like you to come in instead of standing in a doorway looking like a burning torch." Before either of them could say anything more, Vandi swept between them. Smiling brightly she gave Ky a slight push, shoving him back into the room.

"Actually, I think that this is one of those moments that calls for the girls to chat alone." Ferissa felt her heart sink and could only prey to the gods that Vandi wasn't one of those bitches that was simpering sweet around anything male, then turned on the other girls with malicious intent. How could Ky let himself fall for something like that?

But Ky only shrugged, running a hand through his blinding white hair. "If you say so...I hardly know the right thing to say anymore." Slowly, with a small smile that Ferissa hoped was directed at her, he closed the door and left them alone. Ferissa took that moment to look at Vandi, with her long silver hair and deep plum eyes. Clad only in a tunic top and denim capris, she looked amazing. Ferissa didn't want to see her all dolled up.

Ferissa braced for a tirade and instead found a friendly arm looped around her shoulders and a warm smile on that lovely face. "Well now I've heard your story from Ky...but I'd like to hear it from you more. It's rather...unsatisfying to hear a life story second hand." Ferissa found herself unable to say no and, in the process of walking upstairs to the not yet open club, told Vandi everything she could.

She was surprised to find the dragoness a receptive audiance who was more than willing to reciprocate with tales of her own life. It wasn't until they sat down with drinks, iced tea and smoothies, that Ferissa realized that they could easily become friends. Finally she ventured the question she'd been dying to ask. "And you're not mad that I made Ky...give it all up?"

Vandi smiled, openly and honestly, and gripped her hand in a reassuring squeeze. "Honey, there's not a soul born that could make Ky do something he didn't want to do unless he's got his own reasons for doing it. He doesn't hold it against you, and never will. Neither do I for that matter. He was never happy as a demi-god and when he's miserable...so am I. Things have worked out well for the both of us."

Ferissa frowned. "But...well that demon still hasn't attacked yet. I've never had a wrong vision before, not to sound conceited or anything. It has me really worried." Vandi shook her head.

"Ky's worried about it too but I keep telling him not to. Two full grown dragons are more than a match for Camdus...that's the demon lord you saw honey. I say let him try."

The club had been filling up around them as the inhabitants got ready for the evening. Now, as all those living in Asylum took the oppertunity to talk in the peace of the last hours before opening, a strange shiver went through the air. Vandi's head shot up as, without warning, the doors blew open in a gout of flames. Ferissa lept to her feet as horrible things from darkest nightmare poured through, followed by the terror that had stalked her slumber for months.

Camdus, sans spandex but Ferissa had figured that for a quirk of the vision, strode through and into the club. Where he stepped, flames erupted, shadows pressing in as the smoke blackened vision. Vandi, human form already vanished for some sort of draconoid shape, stalked toward him. "Camdus! You defile this place with your presence!"

The demon, flaming eyes blazing over his vile, sardonic grin, executed a flourished formal bow. "You are too kind Vyrriandi, paying me such a compliment even as I bring you your doom." As the flames and shadows pressed closer, and the vision began to come true, Ferissa wondered why things always had to turn out like this. Vandi tried, for a few moments, to fend Camdus off but he caught her in a flaming hold and easily backhanded her away from him. A leer split his face. "Brooding dragonesses should not fight. Isn't that what they have mates for?"

As Ferissa crawled over to where Vandi lay sprawled, blood trickling from her nose, burnt flesh of her face still sizzling, she looked around worriedly. Where was Ky?
--------------------------

Ky had sensed the tremor that had preceeded Camdus's coming. He'd lept to his feet, skin already rippling to scale, when he'd been bathed in a shaft of light. He found himself elsewhere for a moment, in his true form before his mother. "My son...before you go into battle I must speak with you." Ky looked at his mother, noticing for the first time that great age and weariness that Vandi had seen before.

"What is your will Mother?" The great dragoness of Light, Mother Goddess of them all, sighed and stroked a fond wingtip over her eldest son's hide.

"Ky'Ril... my cherished eldest, the delight of my heart, so much like your father with each passing century it pains me to see you. You know I have not been happy since he died." Ky nodded. His mother had never recovered from the blow delt her by his father's dead. Now he looked at her keenly, vainly trying to sense what was to come.

"I am old, Ky'Ril, and tired. I would be as lonely now as I was before were it not for you and, to a lesser extent, your sisters. I have walked with your power for a short time, but that short time was enough for me to confirm what you had always told me...your father's spirit does not linger." She stopped for a moment and Ky laid a reassuring wing on her, nuzzling her neck gently to take her mind of a pain that never went away. She turned and nuzzled him back.

"I'm leaving my son. I'm going to travel onwards, beyond this world, to find your father in the next. I cannot go as I am, Goddess of Light and Spirit, so I am giving my powers to you instead." Before Ky could react everything seemed to whirl around him. He felt vitality as he'd never before known fill every scrap of his essence, his being, before it overflowed to radiate around him, his aura returned more powerful than before. His power, the power of spirit befitting a full god, and his mother's power, the power of light itself, lay within him.

He looked at her and she looked back, both saddened and proud of what they saw. He saw his mother, an ancient dragoness lined with age, who had only one regret in her life...the regret she couldn't spare him his pain. She stood there boldly as she gaze back at him and in her eyes he saw all he had become reflected. He saw her pride in him, her joy, her love. She nudged him gently. "Go Ky'Ril. You have a foe to fight, a friend to protect, the mother of your children to save...Go."

He turned, looking back over his shoulder one last time at his mother. A low note escaped him, growing in power and volume so that it hung in the air long after he'd left. A dragon's cry of farewell.
------------------------

"Can no one challenge me!" Ferissa hung her head as she realized they had all tried, and failed, to stop Camdus. Suddenly, light peirced the darkness and Ky emerged from where the stairs were just collapsing under him. Light encircled him and Ferissa shuddered. He felt powerful.

"Why Ky'Ril! What a shock to see you here! Well not really but I thought I'd say something corney like that anyway. Prepare to face your doom!" The tail lashed out, flames sweeping in a deadly arc of distruction. Ky jumped over it just as he had in the vision. "That was just for looks, now for your doom!!!"

Just as in her vision his talons raked out again and again and Ky vanished under the flames. Camdus threw his head back, arms wide, and laughed. "Fear Me! For I AM the Lord of the Night!" He had turned and was pacing over to where Ferissa cradled Vandi's head, trying to wake the dragoness. "Now for you two..." He turned suddenly and they watched as the blazing rubble where Ky had gone down erupt upwards. Ky, his form much like that Vandi wore, dusted himself off.

He looked at Camdus and twitched two talons three times. The demon lunged towards him, a bellow like never before shaking the building. Ferissa couldn't stop herself from screaming as the two clashed. She watched Camdus as his eyes widened..."Impossible. You...!" He vanished with a pop as light blazed all around them.
--------------------------------

One Year Later....
-----------------------

Ky leaned over the side of the crib, wincing as the babe within grabbed a handful of hair and yanked. "He's got a grip." Vandi appeared next to him, grinning.

"Now you know why I've cut mine short." Her long fingers pried Ky free from the babe's grip. The babe gave a sharp wail that turned into a harsh note as his form went from human infant to dragon hatchling. "There he goes again. He can't seem to keep his mind focused."

Ky chuckled. "He'll learn." A tail whipped at his nose and the babe gave a squack has Ky's form shifted abruptly as the babe's had. Instead of swatting soft human flesh, he whapped draconic snout scales instead. Ky turned a warning glance on the babe, who settled down a bit. Changing back he looked at Vandi with a half smile. "Is that all you needed."

She looked at the babe with a smile. "Yes, I think he'll nap now. Are you headed back already?" Ky hooked an arm around her waist.

"No, I think I've earned some rest...and I can't think of better company."
-----------------

And there's the end of the tale. Thanks for hanging around!
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005

Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't like it.

Mainly because I lost. What's that about? I never lose.

It's a proven fact.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

At least you weren't wearing spandex of any color Lordy. Be greatful for that.

P.S. It never really said what happened between them now did it? All you know is that neither Ky nor Vandi died.

_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Lilith
Honored Citizen



Joined: 10 Feb 2007

Posts: 1597
Location: Happily curled up in a Daemon's lap

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Which leaves plenty of opening for a sequel, Rai... Shocked Wink Cool

*looks at Rai hopefully*
_________________

© 2007-2019 Lilith
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006

Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not in this lifetime Lily...
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

What's her decision?
Leave him alone?
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Go see him?
100%
 100%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 1
:

Display posts from previous:   
Reply to topic       Storygames Home -> The Archives All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
Page 1 of 3
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group. Forum design by mtechnik, customized by City of IF
All site content © City of IF or the respective storygame authors.   Terms of use
Home   Book   Storygames   FAQ   Greek myth   About   Policies