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 Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 9:53 am Post subject: IF In A Mirror. CH7 - Flakes & Ladders. |
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China's given me some great ideas in using the other IF dwellers for the purposes of a story. Taking the China dude's lead I am therefore going to launch IF in a Mirror and I'm starting it with him. I will then progressively bring in other characters and see where it all goes from there. Well lets get started shall we.
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CH1 - Morning Call
"Fables. Great big piles of fables and they're all mine. Fables for breakfast lunch and dinner ... fables as fire lighters, fables for stuffing my mattress ..."
China was asleep. He always had nice dreams, but then its very difficult not to when you're the richest in all of If. He wasn't Capitalist he was just very special and maybe a bit mercenary.
This particular dream involved China strolling through an avenue lined with money trees, each and everyone of them stuffed with the fatbacks he loved so dearly. He sat himself beneath one and mused about the glories of life as a warm sun dappled his face and really loud alarms sounded everywhere ...
He shot up. Then following his usual morning ritual removed a large hammer from his bedside drawer and smashed his alarm clock into tiny little pieces. Then placing his hand back into the draw replaced it with an identical one that wasn't trying to make his ears bleed.
Yawning he climbed out of his tiny, mouldering little bed and placed his feet onto the dusty cold stone floor of his hovel. Then he stopped and did it again.
Yes the bed he was sleeping in was just about long enough if you where a vertically challenged leprachaun. He suddenly realised that his back hurt and looking down at the matress saw a very sharp looking offending spring that had been removed from his spine when he woke up. He also had a funny feeling that the mattress was moving of its own accord. There was something very very wrong with this picture.
Praying he was still dreaming he got up and looked around the room. There wasn't much to look at. Four bleak stone walls greeted him. There was a little table next to the bed with a plate of bread and cheese on it. "Cheese," seemed to be an opperative word in this case. Blue cheese is a delecasy, cheese that is so blue it is considering world domination is a serious health hazard.
"What the bloody hell is going on here! This is not funny ... this is the sort of thing people get put into the Arena as zombie fodder for ... this ... Emerald get in here!"
Emerald was going to walk in and tell him this was all a big joke and that he'd woken up on the set for one of his new shows. He didn't remember giving permission to be used in anything but maybe this was just a bit of a mix up.
A bedraggled, dirty face popped its head around the termite eaten door to the room.
"Yes dear?"
"I probably don't need to ask this question but what the hell is going on?"
"Aw honey have you been dreaming about money again? I told you not to eat cheese before bed. You know it always gives you nightmares."
She sat herself on the bed next to him and placed her hand in his, smiling she gave him a kiss.
"Now you get yourself ready or you'll be late for work."
China didn't know whether to have a siezure on not. Was this feeling pure rage or just unbelievable shock? He wasn't sure. He'd always payed other people to have feelings, they took to much time away from counting and making money.
Emerald continued as if she hadn't noticed his quickly reddening face.
"If you're late for the mine again Muaddib will kill you. We can't afford to live here as it is, you don't want to anger him or we'll be back on the streets again. Now get dressed and I'll make you a nice hot cup of tea."
She pottered off completely ignoring China's perplexed look.
Thought's ran through his mind. None of which where at all pleasant.
"I'm assuming that was my wife ... I don't have any money ..." (This was something that he simply couldn't believe.) "I'm working for Muaddib ... I'm working for Muaddib!"
With a howl of grief he ran to a near by window and looked out onto an If that hadn't been there the night before. Instead of looking down from his usual penthouse suite into a groggy awakening city he looked out onto a slum. The steets where muddy, the houses ramshakle, the sky thick with smoke.
As he peered into the nightmare before him he could hear the rhythmic thud of boots on the ground as a patrol of armed guards strutted past. They all wore thick red uniforms. What was more disconcerting was the picture of Muaddib's face mounted on the shoulder of their jackets.
This was bad ... this was more than bad ... this was strange. China didn't like strange, and even if he did it was only when he'd payed for strange. This wasn't a TV show this was real and as the though sprang back into his devasted mind this was really bad.
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What does China do next?
Last edited by Crymzon on Fri Jun 09, 2006 9:50 am; edited 12 times in total
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:09 am Post subject: |
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Just so you know ... this is a mirror image of IF so almost everything is backwards. 
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:57 am Post subject: |
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 Great start Crymmy.
| Quote: | | This particular dream involved China strolling through an avenue lined with money trees, each and everyone of them stuffed with the fatbacks he loved so dearly. |
| Quote: | | Blue cheese is a delecasy, cheese that is so blue it is considering world domination is a serious health hazard. |
A couple of particularly good lines
I think he should go to work like his 'wife' suggested. If he's stuck here then he doesn't want to make things worse by losing whatever income he has.
I'm sure he'll discover plenty about his new surroundings by following a 'normal' day here. Options will be discovered and hopefully he can make a better decision what to do.
Happy Writing 
_________________
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:00 am Post subject: |
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*grins* Nice to see another story in humour - especially one about Chinaren being in trouble 
I think he should go to work. He doesn't want to lose the house and the wife and still be stranded here. Put up with it until work is over and by then he'll have a better idea who he can go to for help and what he's facing.
Besides, I want to see the great Muddy and watch how he grinds his minions beneath the heel of his boot
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:06 am Post subject: |
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Ah well its always nice to know I've made a positive start ... lets see what other comments we get shall we?
Man I can't wait to see what China makes of this LOL
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:07 pm Post subject: |
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No, neither can I... Morbid curiosity I suppose.
Good start Crym. 
I think that Chinaren is not one to take the sudden and unexplainable loss of all his money and power, so I think he should go a little nuts, try and wake up (using many hilarious and painful methods to do so) and then when he realises that he can't wake up, start hatching some truly hideous plan to recover his wealth. He is and orange capitalist after all, and you know how temperamental they can be! 
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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Ah tis soo very true and some great ideas there, I have a poll forming in my tiny mind as we speak.
The discussion continues an all that.
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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*Imagines Lord of the Day skipping along with Rainbows flying from the souls of his sandals, and the fluffiest of bunnies following*
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Smee wrote: | *Imagines Lord of the Day skipping along with Rainbows flying from the souls of his sandals, and the fluffiest of bunnies following*
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ROFL!! :biggrin: That has to be in it Crymmy! That is genius!
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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ARG!!! Where is all my money? My precious fatbacks!! *breaks down in a heap and sobs*
That aside: Excellent chapter Crymo!!
Now, mmmm. I would say I would go to work at first, see what the IFing heck is going on. Once I understand the 'rules of the game', so to speak, it should just be a matter of some underhand manipulation and perhaps a little poison, and I will be back in charge of the businesses.
Is Key going to be a scrawny chimney sweep then?
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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It will all become apparant ... and lordy I have some crackin ideas for you ... cute and fluffy are two words that definately spring to mind.
Nice to see ya China lmao
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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WAHHH
I shall have my vengance - i call upon the powers of the dark lords to heed my call, I shall return - and when I do, a new unflattering storygame may appear.
Mwhahaha
come on cryms, we can talk this out like civilised, non-fluffy critters can't we?
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Relax lordy ... you never know you might show up as a great big fluffy vampire hamster yet ... this is MY imagination we're dealing with remember. Anything's possible lmao
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Maybe chinaren will need something to do just to be sure that this isn't a dream but after that he is going to work. After all he can make money, even more than the one he got on his dreams.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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well, if Muddiab is the boss, we will probably all be working for food vouchers!
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| Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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Wow dude how did you guess
Muahahahaha
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| Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2006 11:28 am Post subject: |
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| Righteo then time to get this poll up methinks ... get yerselves voting
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:18 am Post subject: |
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Voted for mental breakdown. Cos' he loves money that much, don't he!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 7:06 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Besides, I want to see the great Muddy and watch how he grinds his minions beneath the heel of his boot |
Uplifting the masses my dear Stoat.In the legacy of comrade Stalin.
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| Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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Nice, Cry honey. An interesting idea you have here. I am only sorry I missed the poll. Now I eagerly anticipiate this next chapter. 
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 1:59 pm Post subject: |
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Next chapter it is then
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CH2 - Downward Spiral.
China's shoulders slumped. He realised he wasn't going to figure out what exactly this mess was until he figured exactly where he was. That meant going to work.
Work was a strange notion to China. It wasn't so much something you did but something you talked about and made for other people. He suspected that working in a mine was a particularly massacistic form of toil. Mine was something you used to describe what you owned not somewhere you got sweaty and dirty.
He looked down at the nightgown he was wearing. It was a particularly religious garment. Infact he wasn't sure whether he'd ever seen anything quite this holy in all of his years. He then turned his gaze to the rickety piece of craftwrok mascarading as his wardrobe.
"I'd better do as the wife tells me then."
He shuddered. He never wanted to get married. That sort of thing meant sharing money. Sharing was only to be done between bank accounts and wallets. When he thought more seriously about being married to Emerald he decided that going to work was the least of his problems and made his way to get dressed.
Opening the wardrobe very carefully so it didn't turn to dust in his fingers Chna surveyed his collection of clothes. It was quite obvious that drab was in this year. Appart from all of the garments being various different shades of brown they where a dream for any self respecting static. All of the shirts held the same insignia of Muaddib on the shoulder.
"I don't even like the guy why do I have to go to work wearing him?"
Groaning China got dressed in the most fashionable pair of brown cotton pants and the trendiest brown cotton shirt in there. He then pulled on his "must have" brown cotton socks (emptying the small collony of beetles out first,) and finished with the "wow look at me" brown fabric boots which tried their damn hardest to walk off before he could catch them.
He walked into the hovel's living area to find the promised cup of tea. Emerald smiled handing him a metal mug of thick brown liquid. Shrugging he took a mouthfull and headed for the door. He didn't get very far realising that said mouthfull had solidified in his throat. Gulping heavily he looked back at his spouse with a look of horror on his face.
"Are you trying to kill me? What the IFin' hell was that? It tasted like mud!"
"Yes dear? What did you expect it to taste like? I stewed it just the way you like it ... and I took all of the solid bits out so you didn't have to chew."
China thought about questioning the point then realised that it was far too early to have to put up with any more depression. He managed to force an idiotic, "as if I was expecting anything else," smile, and still struggling with the block of "tea," in his throat left the hovel.
He trudged along narrow, filthy streets lost in his own morbid thoughts. He was still having some trouble with the idea that this was actually reality. He passed houses even more ramshackle than his own. He saw dirty faced children playing in the mud on the ground. He saw everything he pretended didn't exist in his own peaceful fable lined little world. He stopped.
"Hmm ... maybe I should have actually asked Emerald where the mine was."
Scratching his lice infested head he looked around for someone slightly less downtrodded than himself from which to get directions.
"Shops. They're always full of people that know too much about other peoples business I'll try and find some of those."
Luckily enough he was only yards from the nearest market square. Well it would have been a square at some point until the elements had their way with it. Now it was shaped more like something from a surrealist's nightmare. Right infront of him was a stall. Splashed in big red letters accross the top of which was:
"VOTE ALEGRIA FOR HEAD OF THE COMMUNIST WORKERS WOMEN'S UNION."
China didn't like this sort of advertising. It didn't make any money and only served to annoy the consumer. Normally he would have just walked straight past but as he knew Alegria this was simply impossible.
Standing behind the stall was not so much the effigy of a very ugly woman but more the figure of a rather good looking man dressed as a woman. The thing that gave this away most easily was the obvious stubble coating "her" face.
China did his absolute best to avoid a smirk spreading across his face as he prepared to ask the pretty lady for directions. She wasn't going to give him any kind of a chance to ask anything. Instead collaring him and speaking in a very high pitched, forced, and obviously fake voice.
"Good morning comrade. I hope you will be voting for me in the coming elections."
China was trying so hard not to laugh he was having serious problems forming his words.
"Erm well ..."
"I will be leading the women into IF's new golden age under the great muadibb."
"Well actually I was just ..."
"We women will have more say than ever before!"
The pitch of Alegria's voice was making pressure build in China's mind. A mind so frought with worry that it was about to pick up it's napsack and leave home. "She" went on.
"We women will no longer be underpaid and under nurtured, depressed by the male or the capitalist we shall take the great Muaddib's lead and we shall rule!"
He couldn't bare it anymore. His mouth spoke before his exhausted brain had any chance to stop it.
"There is nothing great about Muaddib!"
As the words left his mouth he saw the shock on Alegria's five o' clock shadowed muzzle and heard a clicking sound from behind him. Then a heavy hand grabbed his shoulder.
He was roughly spun round to find himself facing six rather unimpressed looking guards. All of which where aiming rifles at his head ...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does China do now?
Last edited by Crymzon on Mon Mar 06, 2006 3:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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Great chapter
He continues:
"Great is an unworthy word to use on such a magnificent leader as the mighty Muaddib. Comrades, let us all lead a cheer for his esteemed highness - the Muaddib the Chosen!"
After all, he may be down on his luck, but he isn't stupid
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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| No China definately isn't stupid, I'm sure he'll get out of this at least mostly alive lol.
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Bugger, I got my characters confused and I thought I'd changed it all the way through ... not Areax ... Alegria lol
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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Hehe. My first thoughts were along the lines of Stoats..
"There's nothing great about Muaddib! Fantastic! Wonderful! Amazing! Great is too small a word for our grea...er, fantastic leader!"
Another wonderful chapter!
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Glad ya like mate ... thought for some reason I'm getting the strangest feeling that Alegria's going to kill me ...
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Idea master
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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I must say I am enjoying this. Mainly because it puts China in such an uncomfortable situation.
And I can't wait to see what you make of me.
...
Wait...
On second thought, I can wait. I can wait a loooooooong time.
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...No plans yet.
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Oh don't worry mate I have my ideas you won't be left out
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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Nice, loving it, loving it...
However, I think you oughta know, Alegria's a guy. Or is it that his gender's changed because of the mirror thing?
Poor Chinaren, he will have to pay for not understanding the Golden Path. Tsk...Tsk...
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:01 am Post subject: |
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Nice chapter.
I think he need to do something like shady and china had said.
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:27 am Post subject: |
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Very entertaining - caused enough sniggers to mean I had to explain myself to my collegues next to me.
I think Stoat's little dialogue will work and Chinaren will get out of this one fairly easily.
On to the yours...erm mine.
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:29 am Post subject: |
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| Yes muddy I know Alegria's a guy thats the entire point ... he's even more "don't call me a girl" than I am. Thus in this world ... he wants to be one .... da dah! gotit?
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:36 am Post subject: |
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He could always feign a good excuse, such as how he was distracted by the lump of tea hung in his throat. Then go on as the Stoaty suggested, and explain how Muaddib the Magnificent was simply waiting to slip off the tip of his tongue.
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:12 am Post subject: |
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Well you all seem to have come up with the same idea for the next chapter which makes polling a bit redundant. So what I'm going to do is just get on with the story.
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CH3 - Really Bad Day!
China gulped. This was not something he'd expected after breakfast. A light jog, maybe a read of the paper ... firing people was also a great way to let your food go down. This was a new experience. If he wasn't very careful he also had the feeling that this may also be his last experience. Good job he was always good at thinking on his feet. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.
"Well of course there's nothing great about Muaddib. Marvellous, stunning ... increadible ... but not great."
The guards looked at eat other then looked back at him. The rifle barrels hadn't moved. There was the feeling here that they just felt like shooting something. China did not feel like being target practice.
"I was just about to tell Alegria here that I would be happy to back her in her mission to lead the women of IF. I think she and Muaddib would suit each other very nicely."
Alegria blushed. This was not a pretty sight. This was a very insipid sight that made the rather butch figure look even more ridiculous.
The guard leader looked over China's shoulder for confirmation of this statement. Alegria who was now swooning slightly was all too happy to help.
"Of course he was. I mean nobody would be stupid enough to insult Muaddib. People end up working in offices for that kind of thing. All those fancy desks and paperwork is enough to make anybody sick just thinking about it. Why would he want to be taken away from good hard labor?"
China was still mulling this remark over as the guards lowered their weapons and grunting something about finding someone else to blow away went back to their patrol.
China, now somewhat glad his trousers were the shade they were turned back to the wo-man behind him.
"Thanks for that Alegria I owe you one. I'm so flustered now I can't remember the way to the mine ... I'm going to be so late for work."
Alegria smiled gently. There seemed to be no end to the ways "she" could make stomach churning, cringing, sensations happen. China really wanted to make an insulting remark but refrained from this purely for the sake of getting away from "her" as quickly as physically possible. She seemed intent on being twee and re-inforced this with her next sacarine comment. She'd gone from ludicrously zelous to sickeningly sweet in the bat of an eyelid. Batting her eyes was something else China wished she'd stop doing it was creating a draught.
"I can understand dear. As you're going to be my first votee..."
"I wonder why?" Thought China
"... I would be more than willing to help you. I'm assuming your talking about the Salt Mine or you'd have taken a train hours ago."
She pulled a leaf out of a pad of paper on the stall infront of her and drew him a little map. Grinning and taking it fom her he said his goodbyes and made his way faster than a fox that had just told a bunch of hounds that they couldn't catch it if it were dead. Alegria was left standing next to the stall waving a petition shouting something about him forgetting to sign it.
China was telling himself as he trudged towards work that the day couldn't get any worse. He had always been an optimistic soul and the law of averages dictated that as he had already nearly been executed things would probably get better. When he reached the gates to the mine these thoughts rapidly changed.
The mine entrace was nothing more than a shaft in the ground with a little booth next to it. As he arrived a head poked out of this.
"Hang on a minute. I have to clock you in."
Standing in the booth was a tall rather well built man. He was wearing a red uniform and cap. Infact he looked more like a very colourful train conductor than a security guard. On his chest was a little badge which read:
"Crymzon - Workers Investigation Bureau"
China felt flustered. Emerald didn't mention anything about having to have a clocking in card. She was a silly bimbo in this world as well. At least everything hadn't changed. This would therefore be another one of those times where fast thinking would be required. He didn't want to find himself playing with firearms again.
Before he had a chance to say anything he was hit in the head. When his vision cleared slighly he realised that Crymzon was grinning and holding a great big stamp reading "Worker," in red block capital letters." China had a feeling that said word was now adorning his forehead.
This was clocking in? What would they do when lunch time came ... beat him around the head with a loaf?
Still slightly dazed China made his way down the very rickety ladder into the mine and emerged into a series of subterranian tunnels. Next to him was a big cart filled with pickaxes. He hauled one onto his shoulder and went looking for the nearest worker. This was something that became an impossible task. He was so muddled by the mornings events it took him a good few minutes to realise something he should have picked up on the instant he entered the mine.
There wasn't a soul anywhere. The place was completely deserted.
"Bloody hell what now?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is the mine empty?
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:35 am Post subject: |
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LOL! Another good chapter from the Crymzon Clock-Stamper!
Well, I would say that the reason the mine is empty is that the workers have decided that as it's a 'mine', it should belong to 'me'. It's obvious that the Unions will have got hold of the concept and be trying to negotiate with the Grand High Muaddib (for that, read 'getting disposed of quietly and not-so-quietly by Muaddib) to make the salt mines into a shared collective.
It's a strike - and Chinaren's just broken it. He's just turned himself into a line-breaker. A scab
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:45 am Post subject: |
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| Ooh I like that idea, nice one stoaty ... lets see what else comes in.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:52 am Post subject: |
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*grin* Good chapter Crymmy! Lovin' the 'China-bashing'!
I wonder if the mine is empty because Mua decided that all the workers had worked hard enough and they have all recieved huge cash bonuses and have retired early. And Chinaren's just missed this... :biggrin:
*holds breath*  ©
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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We are talking about a communist regime here - as if under Stalin. What are the chances of that?
I reckon they've all been captured to be used in a dark sacrifice - or maybe a light sacrifice seeing how everything's been reversed.
_________________
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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You will all pay for this!! *shakes fist*
Great chapter Stampy! I am in a rush now, so need to go away and think about this.
Don't listen to that Stoat though!
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Idea master
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| Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 8:28 pm Post subject: |
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Noooooooooo!
Me precious mines! What have you done to them?!
*Joins China in the fist-shaking*
I say he finds out that he's in the wrong mine, and is supposed to work in the Stupidium mines across the city.
Of course, long exposure to Stupidium is dangerous to metal intelligence...
*Insert evil, wicked grin here at the thought of China's brain being slowly stupified*
You will pay...
*Weeps over the transmuted mines*
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 10:33 am Post subject: |
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I prefer IM idea.
Also he could be late. as a mine they are working underground but right now they are very deep... so they all use a cart to go there.
Also as there are some pick axes maybe they haven't started to work. They could be in a reunion before start the work.
The reunion could be because of some sort of patriotical thing (like singing the hymn of US before class, something like that but with mua on it) or because they were receiving new instructions about the work.
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I wonder if the mine is empty because Mua decided that all the workers had worked hard enough and they have all recieved huge cash bonuses and have retired early. And Chinaren's just missed this... |
I wonder if we can standardize my nicknames. I'll put a petition in the IUPAC, or ISO.
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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There's nothing great about this story, Crymzon! Wonderful, perhaps. Spectacular, hilarious, yes. Not simply great.
I enjoy the idea of Chinaren becoming an accidental scab. Imagine some hundred-odd enraged miners charging after him with pick-axes raised. *smiles dreamily*
_________________
The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up!
Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
Last edited by Thracia Alba on Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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*giggles* And if they're the sort of miners who use pickaxes...
then they can 'pick' the 'scab'
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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Grooooooaaan. I walked right into that one, didn't I?
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Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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| *smirks* I'm afraid so!
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:33 am Post subject: |
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As appealing as the line-jumper scab idea is, I just picture the other workers wandering around the salt mines, confused about what all the white stuff is.
They're walking around, musing in redneck voices about all the pretty white stuff everywhere, waiting for someone to show up and explain what they should be doing.
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:38 am Post subject: |
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"Huk yuk, I knows wots that white stuffs is. I thank its that sulphuride molydoxinal"
-~-
How about the simple reason the mines are empty is that it's a weekday, and everyone knows that in Mirror IF you have the weekdays off and have to work weekends.
Although, because the weekends are so short, you have to work the 48 hours straight?
However - that doesn't explain why Crymmy the happy stamper is working. Maybe he thinks you're doing overtime?
Just a random lunchtime thought,
Happy Writing.
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:31 am Post subject: |
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The happy stamper only works on weekdays (that way nobody ever gets clocked in and gets paid) and he was just thrilled to finally get to do some stamping.
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:10 am Post subject: |
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Woah dude! I can't wait to write CH4 .... this is my favourite storygame this is. I'm not used to being thought of as funny ... just sarcastic and obnoxious ... funny is good!
Now I've finished ranting ... erm ... great ideas keep going
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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Nice to see the humor is still coming, Cry..
I prefer Shady's idea about the word play on 'mine.' You can add in the Scabss, and whatever else suggested in later.
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:57 am Post subject: |
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| Righteo then .. poll time me thinks
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:53 am Post subject: |
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In the end, I finally decided to go with Stoat's strike idea. Just sounds like the kind of situation our poor Chinny would get himself into.
_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:58 am Post subject: |
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Yes, ruining the picket line is funny; muchos angry, preferably angry Northern miners demanding China blood as payment!
*holds breath* ©
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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| voted for the one that would made more problems to china (at least I hope so, )
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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Gotta go for the strike idea. We need to only add a few more problems to China's life. Or else he will be wallowing in his fatbucks, which would not be good.
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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Voted for the strike, of course. PICK THE SCAB! PICK THE SCAB!
_________________
The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up!
Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2006 6:45 am Post subject: |
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Looks like you'll be wanting chapter 4 then? Right well It should be out by the end of today or tomorrow at the latest so keep you eyes peeled ...
*keep you eyes peeled* what kinda sick minded FREAK came up with that one?
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Chinaren
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:00 am Post subject: |
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Righteo then, chapter 4 it is.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CH 4 - It's All Mine!
In the average mine. On the average mining day. With mining. One would expect miners. This equation fitted perfectly. Except here.
There was plenty of mine here. The expected tunnels, rudementery carts, the odd worried canary sitting in its cage. Canaries must have been very intelligent birds, the only ones in all of birddom with the capability of saying, "Can anyone else smell gas?" What this mine was definately lacking, however, was miners.
China suddenly had the feeling that his day was going to go from wierd, to bad, to worse, to well ... a really really bad word that his shattered mind hadn't thought to come up with yet.
He sat on a little mound of rubble and pondered the situation with the aid of a canary.
"Well why am I the only one here then?."
"Tweet."
"Well yes I suppose I could just be early ... but after all the messing around with Miss Wrong back there and the blast happy bunch I really can't see that. There must be another reason what do you think?
"Tweet tweet."
"Oh you think they moved down to a lower level? Well thats very clever yes that could be true. Wait a minute. They'd still have to come past me to bring the salt to the surface so that can't be right."
If a canary can look bemused this was definately the case, but then putting up with this was definately better than being blow into lots of little, chunky, birdy bits. It flapped its lemon wings lightly and hopped about on its perch.
"Tweet tweet!"
"Yes alternatively they could have all wized up to the blatantly obvious fact that Muaddib is just and over zelous loony and gone on strike. He can't shoot the lot of em after all. I never did believe all that share the wealth rubbish. At least I was honest enough to tell other people that I would be aquiring large amounts of money that should have by all standards belonged to them and keeping it."
This little spark of thought was something that was suddenly more upsetting than having a bunch of psychos aiming loaded weapons at your head. He looked back to the Canary. He could feel himself about to start crying.
"You see if they're all on strike, it makes total sense that I'm the only one here. It also means that my being the only one here has broken the solidarity of it. That sounds somewhat complicated but its this simple. I'm in a great big stinkin pile of, (he bit his lip,) Salt."
He had to think really quickly now. He wasn't getting any help from the canary afterall. It was just making stupid tweeting sounds. That wasn't of any use.
"I suppose I could just hide until this all over. There has to be miles of tunnel down here. There's no way they'd find me. Thats it. I'll just hole up until all this is over and then I can go and find a nice quiet little corner in which to curl up and die."
A monitor in the rock flicked on in front of him. He could see himself on it. In a little corner at the bottom of the screen the word "MUDCAM," could be seen.
China smiled to himself then proceeded to bang his head on the nearest wall a few times to see if it would all go away. It didn't. It seemed that the wall was quite a bit more solid than his head and that pain had decided to give the wall a hand and knock back at the same time.
Head pounding China stared miserably into the monitor. No escape for him then. If he could see himself, then someone else could see him too.
A voice blurted from a tannoy hidden in the rock ceiling of the tunnel.
"I see your back then you miserable little turd. And where are you're little lackeys?"
China had the strangest feeling that this particular tirade was being aimed at him. He'd been picked on. Nearly molested, beaten up and now he was being attacked by invisible voices. It just wasn't going to get any better.
"YOU! Will be dealt with accordingly later, I'm suprised you have the nerve to show back up here at all after you started that strike. You know the rules on infringements of the workers code!"
China had to reply.
"So if there's a workers code then why did I start the strike?" His brain was still trying to process the personal pronoun he'd had to use there.
"That's the entire point you idiot! There isn't a workers code! You infringed it by making one!"
This didn't work in china's head. Saying this "Work," didn't work in China's head the rest of this was excrusiatingly torturous baggage. He figured that the point that the mysterious floating voice was making was that if the state said it was right it was. This was a theory that ran in both IFs. For the first time China didn't like the "because I said so," rule. The voice broke his chain of thought.
"But we'll deal with you later, for now we'll be sending the press down so that you can tell all of IF how sorry you are and get everyone back to work. That is what you're here to do ... Isn't it!?"
China shrank into a little near demented ball.
"Absolutely" he said glumily.
As promised several seconds later there was a small mass of ravening hounds standing in front of him making more noise than is necessary for any set of ears. It was that shady and notoriously dangerous organisation known as the press.
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What does China do now?
Last edited by Crymzon on Thu Mar 16, 2006 11:13 am; edited 2 times in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:11 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter
It occurs to me that Chinaren of the normal IF was very good with the press and very good at taking his opportunities.
He's still the same Chinaren. Could he resist taking this chance to turn the situation to his own advantage? Some strange new marketting ploy, either to get the workers back into the mines (and thus pacify Mc Dibsky the great), or to become the new leader of the rebellion and try and acquire a power-base (and an awful lot of money) that way instead
He's certainly not going to cave in to the faceless voice. Not his style at all
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:20 am Post subject: |
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| It just occured to me when I was writing that it's bad to be a scab but its probably worse to start the strike in the first place and then randomly become the scab.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:42 am Post subject: |
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LOL, yes he does seem to be in the s*** somewhat...
Good chapter Crymmy; more Chinaren bashing on the horizon. Great.
Cept' he has toothache, so we have to be nice.
And on that note, I think that just before the press run in, a horde of angry miners should sweep him up and drag him deep into the mines. They will be oddly pleased at his return to the mines, which at first Chinaren doesn't understand, but soon realises its because he brought them a load of press coverage. They knew a strike wasn't going to affect Muadibb at all, he just ignore them and employ some impoverished children () instead, but the press coverage should do wonders for thier cause.
And because they we're all getting a little bored with striking anyway. Not much to do on a picket line... :biggrin:
*holds breath* ©
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 10:02 am Post subject: |
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LOL. I can't wait till the real China comes back and reads about what is happening to him...
I like Solie's idea about angry miners picking China up, and hauling him into the mines with the press looking on.
Can't think of much what China can do now. Though it doesn't seem there is much he can do.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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Ha, Bob was here.
Anyways. Good point Lordy. RL China is different from his mirror image here. We may have to ask him, so we get our facts right.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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Actually I am not bad at it in RL either. You have to be here, where a random camera crew will suddenly turn up* and want to interview you.
So then, assuming it is going out live Chinaren will rally and turn the tables on the Overlord McDibbsy. Oh yes.
How about how I am down the mine to lure the cameras here and show the people what terrible working conditions the common folk have to endure. How Muaddib is forcing us to work for a pittance in a dangerous environment, with only a canary for dinner between the lot of us.
How we should rise up against the oppressor in a GENERAL CITYWIDE STRIKE! >>Strikes a heroic pose<<
If it isn't going out live, then there won't be much point saying anything, as they will just change it later.
*Which has happened more than once, really. It's ineresting living in China.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:13 pm Post subject: |
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*laughs* Hilarious. I think that works. So basically you're trying to throw the whole dictator image on the McDibbsy.
I heard that the vendors in China are pretty bad also. Some of friends went to China this past summer and were hounded down by vendors waving items in front of their faces.
Apparently one guy was standing in front of them when they were on a boat or something. And one of the girls was so scared, she quickly closes the window on the guy's head. They wouldn't shut up about it for weeks.
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| Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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Good chapter...
It's hard to think on something. I like the angry miners idea. But maybe it's better to confront china with both gorup; the angry miners and the press.
Sorry china but I can't think on something...
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 7:39 am Post subject: |
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| I like all of your ideas guys just keep em coming and I'll have CH5 written in my head in no time.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 11:34 am Post subject: |
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| Ravenwing wrote: | I heard that the vendors in China are pretty bad also. Some of friends went to China this past summer and were hounded down by vendors waving items in front of their faces.
Apparently one guy was standing in front of them when they were on a boat or something. And one of the girls was so scared, she quickly closes the window on the guy's head. They wouldn't shut up about it for weeks.
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LOL! Yes, they are rather a handful. And quite cheeky. One guy came up to us trying to sell something (can't remember what) and he appeared to have a limp. But when we got on out bus and drove away (he had followed us to the doors!) we saw him stop liming and run after the bus! It was hilarious! :biggrin:
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:52 am Post subject: |
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Forget the angry miners, or even the happy miners thinking that this is some Chinny ploy to lure the press into the mines. When the reporters and cameras show up, a huge mutated canary is going to twitter out of the saltworks and have its revenge…Oh Yeah!
But that would be what happens in the real IF. In this mirror IF, I think a vocal group of animal rights activists will show up in the wake of the press, demanding freedom for the canaries. The striking miners will show up, hoping that this is some ploy to get the press into the mines and alert the public to the deplorable working conditions. Poor Chinny will be caught in the middle of these two shouting groups, while the cameras take in the melee.
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 7:14 am Post subject: |
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| Hmm I rather like that Idea ... good going Fauna
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 3:56 pm Post subject: |
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Well, Fluana's idea has the advantage of taking the focus off me, which means I could slip away...
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:19 am Post subject: |
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| Come now China do you honestly think I'm going to let you get out of this that easily? lmao
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:57 am Post subject: |
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Yes, that was an incredibly nutty and fun idea Fauna, well done!
*holds breath, waiting for sillyness* ©
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 10:59 am Post subject: |
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Actually, I think it'll bring more attention to Chinny. The arbitrator
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| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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| ethereal_fauna wrote: | | Actually, I think it'll bring more attention to Chinny. The arbitrator |
*gulps*
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CunningFox
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| Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:23 am Post subject: |
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LOL! loving htis one Crymzon. keep it going man.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:37 am Post subject: |
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| Righteo then poll's up you lot, get voting
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:44 am Post subject: |
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I just know the bird-lovers are going to show up.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:45 am Post subject: |
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So has to be the fourth one! :biggrin:
I mean, lookit! Lookit Pa!
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:01 pm Post subject: |
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I was wondering if you were still alive, Cry. I was about to send some flowers your way.
Have to go with the fourth option also. Can't see anything else happening to China.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Me? Dead? With my reputation?
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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Well it was either that, or you were on the prepice of staying alive. Then you would be alive to us in spirit.
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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Voted, broke the aforementioned tie. HA! 
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| Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:16 am Post subject: |
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| Could I have an imperial march tune whenever I appear please? I mean if Darth Vader gets one....*sulks*
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:49 am Post subject: |
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Right well I suppose I'd better write the next chapter then hadn't I
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CH5 - In Flashes and Beakyness
China had always been very good at dealing with the press. Only these where press Bob but not as we know it. What appeared before him was a group of very large men in black suits. All of the afforementioned where build like brick outhouses and one was holding a camera like a rocket launcher.
China suddenly felt very very small. From between this wall of walking muscle squeezed a diminutive but very attractive lady dressed much the same as her counterparts. She was holding a weapon worse than any high powered explosive device could ever be. A microphone. This device was unceremoniously aimed at China.
"This is Kalanna Rai reporting for the IF Extreme News Network on one of the biggest insults to Muaddib's regime in years. Before me stands the man accused of masterminding an IF wide mining strike."
"I wonder why this is the IF extreme news network" thought China with a nervous gulp.
"As it is the network's policy to promote freedom of speech we are going to be the first to find out his true motives behind the rebellion and attain his own thoughts on the matter."
China winced and closed his eyes as two of the walking boulders made their way towards him. There was a headrush and when he re-opened his eyes the entire world had turned on its head.
"Yes this is pretty extreme." Though China as he was shaken roughly a couple of times. "Infact I have the strangest feeling this may go from extreme to extremely painful etremely quickly."
"So why did a lowlife worker like you decide it was necessery to disrupt the peaceful day to day life of IF?"
"Well ..." Said China who was beginning to feel nausious.
"There you go IFian's! In his own words he said he hates Muaddib!"
"But ..." China was punched in the small of the back. He felt the air escaping from his lungs.
"This gets more interesting! He wanted to stop the production of the mines so that IF's economy would grind to a halt!"
"Wait a minute!" China was punched again. He was about to empty his stomach but vomiting all of the nice leather shoes of the two "reporters," holding him seemed like a majorly bad idea.
Kalanna continued as if China wasn't even there.
"And what was that? His ultimate goal is to kill Muaddib! He says he only came back down here to retrieve a cache of explosives hidden in the mine! You heard it from his own mouth he doesn't want to stop the strike at all! He's preparing to move to the next phase of his campaign of terror!"
This was bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase "getting press ganged." The extreme nextwork's code on freedom of speech was that the network was free to say whatever they liked and that the only point of an interview was so that the public could watch the poor sod being hung drawn and quartered by them beaten to a pulp. He knew it was pointless even thinking about saying anything on the threat of impending and probably more excrusiating agony.
"And further more as you can see he is about to give us the names of all of the people involved in this cruel plot!"
Kalanna walked to China and kneeled infront of him smiling gently and hissing softly yet unbelievably venomously in his ear.
"Aren't you!"
China sighed heavily though as this was a reverse sigh it came out as more of a yawn. He'd just make up some names, this lot where going to believe what they liked regardless. He decided to start with the red menace guarding the mine.
"Yes I would be delighted to tell you who my co-conspirators are..." China wheezed
"I knew you would be" hissed Kalanna with a smile.
China was wondering if it was all the blood that had rushed to his head but he was almost certain he could hear the sound of falling debris from somewhere. There was two heavy thudding sounds from above him followed by two low grunts then he was being lifted towards the ceiling.
"What the?!" Said Kalanna astonished. "Get 'im back down here I haven't finished with him yet! Nobody ruins my report! Did you hear me you idiots! I said get him back!"
Her voice was getting further and further away as he was pulled into a tunnel above him. After a little while of being dragged by his feet he was gently lifted upright and sat against the tunnel wall.
As his body remembered what its equalibrium was supposed to be doing and his hazy vision cleared China could see four friendly looking faces staring back at him. The one closest belonged to a heavy set miner who was grinning broadly. Thick blond hair fell about his shoulders from beneath his helmet.
"Hello boss. Are you alright? Looks like we got to you just in the nick of time doesn't it."
China. Though increadibly greatful was also extremely confused.
"What? Who are you?"
The miner gave the other three a worried look.
"Ooo they must have hit you pretty hard. I hate that press lot. It me boss. Its Smee remember? I tell you what. It was awefully clever you breaking that strike like you did! Of course you didn't break it really. We all know that you where just creating a diversion so we could get that dinamite you told us to grab for you. Always putting yourself on the line aren't you boss? Don't worry about those baboons down there they'll never find the other end of this tunnel. Neither will the camera's. Clever route you planned that was."
China's head was pounding but he was glad to see some friendly faces at last.
"The others are waiting for you back in that cavern we dug out the other week. I'm suprised the T.H.S.F.C. where so willing to help. They're freeing the birds as we speak."
"The T.H.S.F.C.?"
"Yeah you know! The Tree Hugging Students For Canaries. They're back there freeing all the birds. That should cause enough chaos for us all to move down to the lowest levels undetected. They haven't put the Mudcam system in there yet. Now c'mon before the mine's swarming with guards. Someone must have raised an alarm by now."
China wasn't going to argue the point. He smiled to himself. Possibly the only genuine smile he'd been able to manage since he woke up.
"Once the leader always the leader." he thought. He didn't care how wierd this version of If was, but one thing was for sure. Muaddib was going to get a very nasty suprise.
The quintet made their way back to a large area which had been roughly dug out of the soil. Little lamps where set into the walls here. Crates had been set around as stools and in the middle of the floor was a map. China was helped to the corner of the makeshift room where a sixth figure was waiting. She was wearing the garb of a nurse and greated him with a gentle and increadibly friendly smile.
"Ooh looks like you've been through the wars a bit there China. The sooner the rules on freedom of speech are changed the better. Now you sit there and rest while I fix you up."
She knelt next to him and began tending his wounds. Smee pulled the map and a set of plans closer to China and also took a seat next to him.
"It was so nice of nurse Phang here to help us."
Phang gave Smee a wink.
"Well it isn't like I had much choice now was it? I had to help my husband out in his quest to free IF of that evil dictator." She gave Smee a passionate kiss.
"I hate evil people. That Muaddib should be fed to the press not our lovely China here."
Smee nodded with a smile.
"We should get onto planning our next move. The Dinamite is ready and the nature posse out there should be back with us shortly. So what are we going to do next boss?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is where China gets to make the next set of plans in what seems to be his very own home grown rebellion. Well China doesn't but YOU do.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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An interesting pair, Smee and Phang...
Well obviously we should do something to go against Muaddib's reign. Do you think he knows of this underground movement that has developed. 'Cause maybe we can infilitrate some spies or other to look into this planned activities.
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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Smee and Phang...I never suspected.
If there are explosives set, as soon as the T.H.S.F.C. clears out then make a big BOOM! Should shake things up for the dictator.
A few technicalities that distract from the chapter.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I had to help my husband out in his quest to free IF of that evil dictator." She gave Smee a passionate kiss. |
LOL!
I think I should go along with the plan, whatever that is. It is in my best interest to overthrow the evil McDibsky here.
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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*grins* Entertaining chapter Crymmy.
But as fur wot's I's is doing next I's isn't knowing boss, thats whys youse is the boss.
Make the 'plosives go BOOM, I's is liking booms boss.
Hapsies Writings
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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Good chapter - but I'm a little lost on the setup here. Can they choose any target in IF, or are they stuck in the mines?
If it's any target, I'd say go to a place of worship - there's bound to be some, so that the people can worship Muaddib the Great - and blow it up.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 3:47 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm, what to do... what to do... 
Let's go blow up the Mud-communuist party HQ's. That should show those darned commies what capitalist's are capable of. Go China! :biggrin:
And well done Crymmy, you actually got me feeling sorry for the big lug n' all.
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:19 am Post subject: |
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| Nope they're just using the mines as a base of operations .. how (and where) they use those explosives is entirely upto you ... as is when they do, doesn't need to be yet. You lot just need to come up with China's battle plan to overthrow Muddy and thanks for the praise Its always nice to have
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:34 am Post subject: |
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Well if we can find out about some of Muaddib's favorite places, perhaps we can drop some bombs there. Or as shady suggested, any place of worship could work.
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:02 am Post subject: |
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I still think I should have an Imperial Tune.
My favourite places are, the Hall of Reds, the Red Brigade Building, Red Hall, Red Square, Red House, Red Parliament, and the Red Fine Dining Pub.
Could I also have one of them black robes with red lapels? And some nice gloves with metal knuckles? What about a paramour, you're telling me all my ladies vanished?
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:59 am Post subject: |
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*Takes a large pin to Muddy's ego* lol
Oh and Lordy you mean you're still glad you haven't made an appearance yet
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Phang
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| Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:55 am Post subject: |
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I must say...I am very, very scared.
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:38 am Post subject: |
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Very interesting, especially some couples...
Anyway, I thought that China should assault some bank or something like that. Where Muaddib have his money (or reserve or gold)? There should China attack so he could have money again
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:56 am Post subject: |
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Hey wait a sec, in the normal IF, I'm supposed to have a bevy of hoes right? So what do I get in the twisted city?
*waits eagerly*
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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Well if you get a bevy in normal IF, shouldn't there be none?
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Erm well as I actually know the end to this (I have this wierd nack of writing the end in my head first) .... we'll see me loverlies .. we'll see
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I think China should attempt to blow up the evil, Communist dictator himself (not that I have anything personal against you, McDibsky ). It's just that a rebel with a ton of dynamite should go straight for the jugular, with none of this messing around with favorite buildings. You blow up one of Muaddib's favorite buildings and then what? He just gets ticked off and sends a few hundred slaves to rebuild it.
Try not to kill too many civilians if you can help it, though.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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Well, can't we just spy on him, and find out his schedule and THEN bomb him? Seems logical to me.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:01 am Post subject: |
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Well, I think he can try to blow Mua up, but it wouldn't really be fair to let him be successful, would it? I think we can acheive more if we get around to pissing him off. Do we only have enough dynamite for one target? If we have enough, let's blow up a religious building, Mua's treasury and... is Chinaren against blowing up prostitutes? That would really hit Mua where it hurts...
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:05 am Post subject: |
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I am generally against hurting the local working girls. I favor hitting him somewhere more strategic. The mint.
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Chinaren
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:07 am Post subject: |
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| chinaren wrote: | | I am generally against hurting the local working girls. I favor hitting him somewhere more strategic. The mint. |
*looks innocent* Do you really think that targetting a confectionary shop is the best way to go, China?
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:08 am Post subject: |
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*giggle* Poor China's getting all confuzzled!
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:30 am Post subject: |
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| Bombing the headquarters and taking out most of the support staff and soldiers sounds like the way to go to me. It would deffinetly make things rather hard to keep status qoe
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:45 am Post subject: |
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Where is Crymo these days eh? I can't be left stranded in the mine like this! 
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 1:00 am Post subject: |
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He doesn't appear to be on much at all at the moment. Must be a bad case of the RL's....
Get well soon Crymmy!
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:53 am Post subject: |
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*Runs in ... Bowling China over in the process ... gives Soily and Thracia a hug ... pats stoaty and finishes by smacking a great big cartoon kiss on Rave's lips.*
Aww I missed you lot! Oh in case you hadn't noticed. I'm back!
Next chapter will be on its way shortly I promise
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:58 am Post subject: |
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*picks himself up*
Hurrah! Cryos back! Now I can finally get out of these mines. I hope. Maybe? 
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Lordy
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 6:12 am Post subject: |
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| Nothing for me I see.
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 6:15 am Post subject: |
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Yeah I can send you back to your loverly adoring wife. Aww can you see yourself spending the rest of your known existance with Emerald? Aww cute eh?
Cup of tea?
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 6:16 am Post subject: |
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Aww I'm sorry
*Gives Lordy a kiss too*
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 6:31 am Post subject: |
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| Righty ho then polls up off you go an all that
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Lordy
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:44 am Post subject: |
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| How...nice.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:52 am Post subject: |
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| Welcome back then
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 10:15 am Post subject: |
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Well I might be a reporter in this story but normally I'm an assassin. As such...I gotta go with just assassinate him and be done with it....
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 11:52 am Post subject: |
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Voted, now get on with it! :biggrin:
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
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Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:43 pm Post subject: |
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| I think that we need some money first...
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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Aww... *hugs Crymmy back* Missed ya!
I know I suggested otherwise, but I'm in a screwing-around-with-people mood tonight, so I voted to blow up his favorite places. Looks like I'm losing, though.
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Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Chinaren
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 9:28 am Post subject: |
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Right Chapter 6 it is then!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CH 6 - To plan or not to plan. What was the question?
China finally felt like he wasn't all on his own. He had friends and this was a great start. These weren't people he was paying to be his friends either so this was certainly a refreshing change. Looking at the plans before him he decided that this was definately time to get his own back. He'd always fancied a go at being the rebel anyway. He decided to do the one thing he was good at. He'd aquire himself some cash. Still feeling sore he turned his gaze to Smee.
"So how is Muaddib getting enough money to be running IF? It isn't like he knows anything about finance. He's far to interested in where he can stick his food vouchers..."
His thoughts trailed off slightly.
"I know precisely where he can stick his ..."
"Boss?"
"Erm? Oh yes where is he getting his cash then?"
Smee took off his helmet and gave his head a good scratch.
"Well we don't know. We still have an operative out in the field trying to find out who's backing him. But you already know that. You where the one who sent her out there. She should be back to report any time soon actually if she hasn't been caught. What we do know is where the money is being stored. It's in the Red Vault in the IF Extra Fashionable Mint."
Little cogs where whirring in China's head.
"Hmm Muaddib isn't in this on his own ... I knew he wasn't that smart ..."
He looked back to Phang and Smee with the grin of a psychopath who's just been given a big axe and told he can do whatever he likes for a day.
"We're going to need a little financial backing of our own. Smee we're going to keep that dinamite until we need it. In the mean time I'll be wanting to make a large cash withdrawal from that vault. Think you can get us in?"
Smee furrowed his brow. Not that you could see this happening for the mop of hair covering his eyes.
"This isn't really in my field of expertise boss. I'm a good miner but not much else. (He looked to his wife,) what about you honey?"
Phang. Who had now finished undoing the brutal work the reporters had so lovingly bestowed upon Chinaren shook her head thoughtfully.
"Hmm. No I can't help you either I'm afraid. You need someone on the inside or you'll never get into the bank. We aren't of a low enough class you see. Only the lower classes can get into the bank and the lowest of the low, those being Muaddib's personal agents, into the vault."
She did that thing that only women can do well. Say they can't do anything to help solve a problem while at the same time solving it infront of you. You could always tell by their eyes ... slightly shifty looking. She snapped her fingers.
"Got it! I do know someone who can help! He just happens to be on the finance division as well. What was his name now ... I remember. Agent S. Lee. I looked after him for quite a while about six months ago. He certainly wasn't happy with the way Muaddib was running things. It turns out that the agents working for him don't get payed or anything, they just do it out of pure zelous love for him. He said that anything they do get is aquired as a gift. This guy certainly wasn't any kind of charity case thats for sure. As far as I know he's still at the hospital as well. After we'd fixed him he decided that the place was embezelling money from the state and therefore needed to be kept a very close eye on."
Phang gave the two a wink with a knowing smile.
"He's probably been skimming the hospital funds ever since. I really think he'll help us. But we aren't going to be able to do anything until we get out of this mine."
China nodded. He was suddenly feeling rather excited. To the point that he didn't feel depressed and downtrodden anymore. He was going to hit Muaddib in a very painful place. His wallet.
"Where are the Thingy Students for Whatsisfaces then? Oh you know! The canary crunchers?"
Smee shrugged. "Dunno boss. They should have long been back by now. Maybe they had a run in with the press?"
Almost a if China's question had summoned them, a team of what could only be classed as commandos burst into the room. These where possibly the most heavily armed bunch of bird lovers that ever walked the face of IF. The disconcerting thing about this was what they where quite obviously using as ammunition. They were all wearing bandoliers stuffed with little pouches of bird seed. Their leader, a rather pretty lady in an elegant ensemble of bright yellow cammo gear pushed to the front giving a salute.
"Leutenant Thracia Alba reporting Sir! Operation complete Sir!"
China's brain geared back into, "What the frog?!" mode but he was getting used to this and decided just to play along.
"Erm ... yes ... excellent work leutenant. Give me an erm ... status report."
"Sir yes sir! Chaos caused sir! Guards are fighting with the reporters sir!"
China pictured the image of a few very flat guards and an irate Kalanna screaming words that would be censored if not completely removed from any language. He cast a look to Smee and Phang. Both read this look as. "Are you absolutely sure we aren't going to be found here?" Both then looked at each other and said in perfect unision.
"I think we'd better get going."
Smee stuck his helmet back on his head and motioned to the others miners from China's rescue mission. They all grabbed their pick axes and made for a dirt wall on the opposite side of the little cave and started digging furiously. During this the canary combatants took battle stations over the entrance to the room where any unsuspecting oncomer would have an onslought of bird food to face.
After some burrowing. The wall, which had already been dug out and filled back in again at an earlier time, collapsed. This revealed another nicely dug out tunnel. The resistance group didn't need to be told to move anywhere as the sounds of fighting and swearing could now be heard echoing around the tunnels. They headed off down the new passage backed up all the way by the rather fiersome bird brigade to a ladder leading to the surface.
Smee. Who was already at the top of the ladder pushed some wooden boards out of the way. He saw day light. He smiled to himself and motioned to the others who didn't need any encouragement to follow him. Climbing out of the chute he saw a pair of legs and a rather confused looking Crymzon. He cursed to himself.
"I have to learn to stop mis-reading maps. We're supposed to be in one of the salt warehouses."
Crymzon didn't look very impressed at having his booth invaded. He was tapping his foot in that "I'm really not very pleased about this," manner. He was also reaching for a sledge hammer in that,"I'm going to smash your skull in," manner.
Thracia's voice could be heard from the bottom of the ladder.
"Status report Sir! We've been spotted sir!"
China who was in the middle of the little line of bodies stuck to the ladder winced as he heard a voice he was really hoping not to have heard ever again.
"Ruin my story will ya you little worms!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I believe our little group may have a problem.
Suggestions?
Last edited by Crymzon on Wed Apr 26, 2006 11:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 9:58 am Post subject: |
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Finally! Good chapter Crmyiny!
But I'm not feeling too hot right now, and my head is giving me gip. When I think of something, I'll come back.
*holds breath*
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
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Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Idea master
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:17 am Post subject: |
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Well, I'd say that we use a few explosives to get out of this situation, and explain it away by saying 'That's what happens to activists!'
Thus, the death by explosion will not be your fault. And you get to eliminate a bystander! What more could you want besides the bank? Which, of course, we will use our remaining explosives for.
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:59 am Post subject: |
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Nice one IM but
1) Your on a ladder in a confined space is setting of highly dangerous materials beneath you not going to kill you slightly?
2) Those activists are your friends
3) Don't eat yellow snow
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:04 pm Post subject: |
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Aww, Crymmy, you shouldn't have! I've always wanted an excuse to chuck birdseed at people.
I say the Canary Commandos should make a dashingly heroic last stand and hold off the evil reporter Kalanna Rai with their pellety projectiles long enough for our dear leader China to get away safely.
Fabricati Diem, Pvnk!
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Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe you should offer the story of the ruin of Muaddib in exchange for my aid. Knowing my perverse sense of humor I'd go for that before I went for a little dirt ball like China.
Besides...never underestimate the power of the press! If they can ruin wars in real life and cause insurgency with poorly drawn cartoons, imagine what they can do with a couple sticks of dynamite and a sympathetic public...
It's something to think about...
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"Music makes you braver."
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Gawd man why are you all determined to kill of me characters? lmao
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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I'm an assassin Crymmy. It's what I do...
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:23 pm Post subject: |
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Where is the dynimite anyway?
I think if it's near enough to the top of the ladder we could force Cry to back off by threating to blow up his booth. We can always throw it behind the desk and wait a few seconds for it to blow up before charging into the tent. Not very subtle and I think Cry would prefer to deal with us
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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Great chapter Crymy!
Two pronged action needed here I think.
The people above me swarm up the ladder and try and overwhelm er, you. There may be a couple of sledgehammer related injuries, but it will be worth it to save me.
People below. Stall the Rai. Try to win her over first, as suggested, and if that doesn't work, sell yourselves dearly until I have escaped.
*dusts hands* Yes, that should do it. Remember, your fearfull, I mean, fearless leader must survive!
BTW: I have been thinking. What has happened to the Chinaren in this dimension?
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Hmm great Ideas you lot ... and don't hurt me I'm loverly I am ... as for the China in this reality all will be revealed in due course
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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Never suggested hurting you...and China...you just should have finished the interview, made a few fables off of it, and saved yourself the trouble....of course if you had done that then I wouldn't be an alliance option now...
You never know when I'll come in useful...*opens can of peaches with her tail*
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"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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I agree for Kal's method on how to deal with... errr.... Kal?
But as for Crymmy, I wonder how bored he is, stuck in that booth with nobody to stamp in and out all day. I wonder whether he'd be interested in getting rid of the great Muddy, to get himself a better job. Senior Stamper, for exampl. Lord High Stamper. Executive Stamper, with his own ink-pot and two assistants to feed peeled grapes to him?
A bit of bribery never hurt anyone - especially Crymmy, I'm thinking
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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I always deal with myself best...I'm the only one who can and yes...make the Crymmy reconsider his alliances. You can never have too many friends when toppling a manical dictator...
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"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:16 am Post subject: |
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| Kalanna Rai wrote: | | Knowing my perverse sense of humor I'd go for that before I went for a little dirt ball like China. |
Oi! I'm the only dirtball around here! 
Mlumble mlumble! *gerroff!*
Nyaaaaaaah!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:20 am Post subject: |
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At the moment he's climbing around in a filthy mine, thus he's a dirtball...no offense intended to the resident IFian dirtball.
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"Music makes you braver."
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:27 am Post subject: |
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And besides, Soily, she called China a "little dirtball". I would never call you a little dirtball. Great big honking pile o' muck, perhaps. Mount Grimey, maybe. But little dirtball? That just doesn't do justice to the magnitude of your dirtliness.
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Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:39 am Post subject: |
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Aw, thanks Thracia! Makes me feel all fuzzy and loamy! *big sloppy soilhug* :biggrin:
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:59 am Post subject: |
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Eeewww!  Uh, I mean, thanks!
*goes off to find 500 pounds of soap and a swimming pool*
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Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:39 am Post subject: |
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LOL. Looks like I missed that little interlude.
Anyways, an interesting chapter, Crymmy. I agree with everyone else. Placate Rai below, and perhaps persuade Crymzon AKA You to join us in going against Muaddib.
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 8:44 am Post subject: |
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Very Nice Chapter !
I think we should try to get someone (cryzmon or kai) to join you. Or at least talk to one of them while china try to escape.
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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I'd stay away from the reporter. She's obviously not one to trust. Pelt her with birdseed and unleash the killer canaries- they'll flock on her like a Hitchcock movie and that'll be one less thing you have to worry about. Alba brought birdseed for a good reason.
As for the ticket stamper...I'm sure you could persuade him to put down the sledge hammer if you waved a ticket in front of him. He's so well trained by now he'd pluck up the stamper immediately and you could then thwack him like an apedog.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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LOL. Attacking canaries. I would bet that the ticket-stamper may be easier to persuade. But then again we don't really know him that well enough.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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Fauna! I'm hurt and shocked that you'd suggest me as untrustworthy! Since China's obviously dirt poor while Muaddib is loaded I have absolutly no reason to stab China in the back while toppling Mua is an attractive way to start looting...
Trust me.
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"Music makes you braver."
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 5:40 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | China's obviously dirt poor
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Don't starrt with the dirt references... please... you don't want poor Soily to get upset, do you?
*Goes over and hugs the crying Soily*
There, there, dear, it'll be alright...
*Stops, looking at her hands in horror*
Wait... what have I DONE!!!
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 6:36 am Post subject: |
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| No one seems to understand my 15 karat Golden Path.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 6:57 am Post subject: |
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No one understands what you're referring to. LOL.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:15 am Post subject: |
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| Muaddib wrote: | | No one seems to understand my 15 karat Golden Path. |
Well, you did explain it in detail in the Idearium mines. Sadly I wasn't listening. Ah oh. So it goes.
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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hi all ... now I know it seems like I'm never around lately but I promise its not intentional ... my best mates been in hospital all week and I've been spending all my free time with her. I'm back now though .. I just hope nothing else decides to bite me in the rear.
Catch ya all soon
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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Don't worry Crymmy mate, tell your friend that a wierd pile of soil hopes she gets well soon!
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 6:34 am Post subject: |
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Why thankyou oh grimy one ... that I shall
Oh ... next chapter coming soon by the way
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 12:13 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, don't even let it trouble you, Crymzon. I've been in your situation before (my best friend had to get heart surgery a couple years back), so I know what you must be going through right now. Just take your time, and we'll be here to pelt things at you-- uh, I mean, give you our full support.
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Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Idea master
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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Bah, none of you listened to me! One large explosion would cure all of your problems.
Sure, you'd be slightly living impared, but you'd have no more problems!
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 8:33 am Post subject: |
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It's the slightly living impaired bit we're not so sure about
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 11:42 pm Post subject: |
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Patience, O Whitesmith. Rome wasn't built in an egg, you know.
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Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 9:54 am Post subject: |
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LOL. I am sure you meant a day, Alba.
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 3:39 pm Post subject: |
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If I had meant to say "day", I would have said "day". And I think we can all agree that Rome was not, in fact, built within an egg. It's one of those precious few facts of which we can be sure.
(You never watched Rugrats when you were a kid, did you?)
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The Powers That Be
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| Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Thracia Alba wrote: | | Patience, O Whitesmith. Rome wasn't built in an egg, you know. |
Of course not. That was Naples.
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Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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Nope. Never had cable as a kid. Obviously I am totally out of the loop when it comes to this.
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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Oh man, that was a good show. Back before the days of fart humor, bad animation, and random stupidness trying to be passed off for decent comedic writing. You know, back when they made good cartoons for kids. Anyway, Rugrats was a cartoon that was from the view of these babies, and it was cool because aside from the fact that it had great writing and lovable characters, it provided an interesting perspective on the adult world, as seen from a more innocent, honest POV. These days, if I see an old episode, I can actually get some more of the adult references (nothing nasty, just jokes that only grown-ups would get, like when one of the parents called the next-door neighbor's house the "Payton Place"). These babies were always mispronouncing common phrases, and would make amusing statements such as "As Bob as my witness", and "Rome wasn't built in an egg", which is where my comment came from. I guess you never forget some things.
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry to keep hijacking but... Rugrats! oh I wish they still made cartoons like it. The current state of animation depresses me, it being my chosen profession.
Back on the subject... Great story! I'm drawn to all the IFian character stories. Makes me want to be a part of them, I love to play the hero Of course in mirror IF I'd have to be a villain then wouldn't I ahh well. So much reading, so little time.
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Mother Goose
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| Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:44 am Post subject: |
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| So much reading indeed! I just last night caught up on this one, thanks to the Ten Best list. Great idea and funny story, Crymmy. Hope your friend is better soon so we can have another chapter.
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 7:54 am Post subject: |
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MG!! You've changede your Av! I prefered the old one, but if you were going to change it you could at lest have used the strange old lady one from ages back (you never actually used it, but it was suggested). Anyway, I've just realized I've got more posts than you! 
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 8:54 am Post subject: |
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Does it really matter? The one you should be looking up to is Lordy here, who has the most posts. Of course me being egotistical would say, I am only second to him.
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Mother Goose
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| Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 9:50 am Post subject: |
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What strange old lady one? I don't remember seeing it. It might have worked, but maybe I rejected it as being too close to RL. Anyway, I think the snow goose is pretty.
You've got more fables than I have, too - I'm slow.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Rave wrote: | | Does it really matter? The one you should be looking up to is Lordy here, who has the most posts. Of course me being egotistical would say, I am only second to him. |
| lordofthenight wrote: | | You're coming pretty close to me now though Rave - it's because I got mself a second account. My post count has slowed because of it. |
Well guys, I think you could both post a little less myself. Sometimes (and please note I said sometimes here) your posts are a little spam like. Less quantity and more quality.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:14 am Post subject: |
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Hear Hear!
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
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The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 3:14 am Post subject: |
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| Right just so as you all know I'm back ... I'm praying officially this time and if you want to know where I was I was in hospital on a drip leaking puss ... in that order FOR OVER A WEEK! *ahem* much better now thankyou and I'll get on with the plot as soon as my medicine addled mind can handle it.
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Thracia Alba
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| Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 9:28 am Post subject: |
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Poor Crymmy! I hope you get well soon! You just rest and take your time, don't let the rest of us *glares at everyone else* rush you.
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Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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Glad to have you back Crymo. I have been stuck on that durned ladder far too long!
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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I PMed you back, Crymmy. Glad to see you're somewhat back on your feet.
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 11:27 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Thracia love ya hon
To answer yer question Lordy I've had a nice big infected lump in my ear for a while but the antibiotics were clearing it we though ... they didn't know it'd infected elsewhere too ... my throat for instance witch decided it really wanted to close up. As not being able to breath is concidered somewhat of an issue by learned medical types I was in hospital.
And thirdly the next chapter will be with you either later tonight or more realistically tomorrow now, I've just updated Spellforge finally this is my next job before I take on the Deleria ... then I have to go and pull Gangland up of its rear. Man this is why I don't take time off if I can help it
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 12:11 pm Post subject: |
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You're not dead! Three cheers for Crymmy!
One of my friends had a blood clot in her ear and it was blocking off her brain. But then she had it removed and had to have loads of precaustions. Like now, two years later, she can finally wash er hair instead of using elaborayte methods.
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Mother Goose
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Glad you're back, Crymmy. Infections are sneaky things and we're all happy it's finally under control.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 2:15 am Post subject: |
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Yep, good to see ya again Crym. Glad your feeling better. Sounded nasty
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 9:47 am Post subject: |
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Man it's loverly to have friends ... cheers for the kind words writerly dude and dudettes!
Right I suppose you'll be wanting the next chapter then? Lets get China off that ladder shall we?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 7 - Flakes and Ladders
Smee gulped ... he felt like the mole in one of those hilarious, addictive and financially draining wacking games. He was a very good miner. He didn't want to be minor his head in the process.
"Now this is a bit of a predicament isn't it?" He squeeked. "You see this is the problem with tunneling .. you never know where you're going to wind up do you? I mean ... I thought this was another booth ... that ... that just happened to look somewhat like ..."
He trailed off into a quiet mumble and closed his eyes waiting for the inevitable.
Crymzon just shoock his head.
"Come on then. Out of the hole. I can't get a really good swing if you're down there."
Smee opened one of his eyes into a squint before climbing out completely and standing next to Crymzon who in turn was looking slightly perplexed at the other heads and finally bodies that where appearing from the void in the floor.
China felt movement above and with a vague sigh of relief scurried up the ladder faster than a rat on a drain pipe with a cat attached to its bottom. That Rai woman was a very scary lady and he had a feeling that even the entirity of the bird brigade and all their pellety doom wouldn't be able to hold her off for long regardless of whether or not she was with her big hulking companions. He shouted below him as he went.
"Erm Thracia ... deal with that will you ... I have to be somewhere else at the moment. Tell the mad journalist I'll speak to her when I have a window ... to jump out of."
Whether Thracia heard him or not was debateable. She and her squad had dropped from the bottom of the ladder and where attempting with some futility to apprehend Rai.
Though the reporter appeared to be on her own she was in the thick of it like a wolverine that has just been told you've run over his dog and eaten his mother while you're simultaniously poking him with a large stick. Amidst rapidly moving yellow streaks, a large muck cloud and fragments of conversation such as: "Will ya just c'mere!," "Well thats not a very nice thing to say," and, "You have your elbow in my armpit," obscenities could be heard that where more unprintable than that great collective effort by the dull, pointless and utterly boring society, "And Then."
The ladder was now clear. Crymzon's booth however was bulging slightly from the sheer amount of forms that had erupted into it. As he was sardined in the middle of them all thoughts of sledge hammer related vengence had been forced to a halt. All the crimson clad security guard could do was let out a miserable whine.
"Why in the name of all that is IFian are you in my booth!!"
China managed to poke his head through the sandwiched forms.
"Because I have a proposal for you. If you'll be so kind?"
"Then will you get out of my booth?" Crymzon sobbed.
"Absolutely! You're wish is my command. Now how much does Muaddib pay you?"
"He doesn't. I haven't changed my clothes or underwear for nearly five years now ..."
The crushed mumble from the rest of the crowd hushed to a series of comments about personal hygiene. Crymzon continued unphased.
"It's driving me mad. Standing around all day ... stamping ... not stamping ... its very stressful. At least I have by best friend in the whole world Cindy here to keep me company. I love you Cindy"
He lovingly stroked the head of the now redundent sledgehammer. It was also clearly evident that this guy was as mad as a sardine can full of pirahna. China realised that this may be easier than expected.
"Well if you come with us you can find Cindy some new playmates. You can do as much or as little stamping as you like and we'll pay you. Get you some nice new clothes too." China winced thinking ... "Even if it will take industrial cutting gear and a team of highly trained anti-biological warfare specialists to get you out of those trousers."
Trying to erase that horrid image from his mind China grasped the end of what he was planning to say with both hands and pulled hard. He thanked his lucky stars that he was able to conclude the dialogue.
"So what do you say?"
Crymzon thought for a second before blubbing softly.
"Will I get a little booth of my very own in the country somewhere?"
China nodded. This was way too easy.
"Yes I'm sure we can arrange that. Lets just get rid of your megalomaniacle boss and his little cronies first. When we restore order you and Cindy can retire happily somewhere."
"Promise?"
China chuckled.
"I promise."
Crymzon beamed.
"Hear that Cindy? We can get married someday! We can finally afford to have children! I'll do it! Now get! Out! OF MY BOOTH!"
China nodded with a smile.
"Certainly. Troops you heard the nice man ... out we get." He peered down the hole. "Thracia how are you doing with the crazy devil woman?"
A militant voice echoed back up the shaft.
"Target neutralised sir! Bringing her for questioning sir!"
As the booth emptied the commandoes appeared from the hole. One of the larger of them was carrying a hog tied Kalanna over his shoulder. This was the first time in a long time this woman must have been able to keep quiet. This of course may have had something to do with the sack of birdseed stuck in her mouth. China grinned.
"Well done Thracia! I'll promote you and your men to something later. In the mean time lets get a move on before we have a wall of guards to face. Bring mighty mouth there would you? I have a proposition for her later."
"Sir yes Sir!"
She motioned to her men who all neatly filed out of the booth followed by China and eventually Crymzon who gave the door a loving kiss as he closed it.
The group moved from the booth area to the main gate of the bigger mine complex that surrounded the main shaft. China failed to realise why he hadn't seen all these other buildings on his way in. Massive warehouses packed full of salt. He assumed he must have had gained a temporary tunnel vision caused by lack of funds. Certainly the vision of tunnels was something that he'd had more than enough of.
Standing outside the main entrance to this larger area where a small group of men in tight black latex uniforms. At the front of which was a man addressing a couple of rather badly beaten up guards. China motioned to Smee who wandered up besides him.
"Who's the cover model for S&M monthly over there?"
Smee looked at him perplexed.
"Surely you know! Thats the Lord!"
"The Lord?"
"Lord of the Night Watch! The head of Muaddib's secret police. He's notorious for what he can do with a whip and a pineapple if given the chance. He's a real sadist ..."
China cut him off.
"Smee?"
"Yes boss?"
"He's looking directly at us."
Indeed the black clad group strutted over to the revolutionaries. China may have been able to bluff his way past the man but for the mumbling hog tied reporter they where carrying with them. Lord looked at China darkly.
"What have we here then?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Right how does he talk his way out of this one?
Last edited by Crymzon on Sat Jun 10, 2006 8:17 am; edited 1 time in total
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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Woo - I finally made that appearance as the Night Watch I was promised all those months ago.
Could he sprout some giberish about Rai reporting lies about the Great McDibsky? And they're taking her to recieve his judgement?
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 4:09 am Post subject: |
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They could say that she had been reporting about a war they were having with OF when a truce was called but she carried on defacing their name and it had only now been realized, and after all, wasn't that what they were here for?
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Alegria
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 7:07 am Post subject: |
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Finally caught up to this hilarious story, just one thing
COMMUNIST WOMEN'S WORKER'S UNION!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
Anyway, now that that's settled, let's try Lordy's idea.
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:00 am Post subject: |
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| Try to convince him that you are doing an expirement. Something like, "How much time the reporter could be silent without commit suicide"... Ok, let's try lord idea then...
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:49 am Post subject: |
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Tell them that under a new law issued today, if someone is under arrest citizens are allowed to make the arrest if they deliver the suspect to the night police.
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:55 am Post subject: |
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| Right now these are all very good ideas but eventually China wants to get Rai on side so he'll need to work this so that the Night Watch don't take her away or she'll be no good to them.
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:55 am Post subject: |
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Hmm. It seems to me that if the Lord is such a famed sadist, then he'll want victims, yeah?
It's obvious then. Your respect for the Night Watch is so high that you've got together and rustled up a bit of a treat for its leader. Unfortunately, you haven't been able to get hold of the whip or the pineapple, but the important thing - the victim to use the implements on - is right here for the taking.
Then, when Lordy is playing with his new toy, get out of there as quickly as possible
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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Hurrah!! I am finally off that ladder! Nice chapter Crymo!
Have to go to work now, but I will come back to this one.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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LOL. Absolutely hilarious chapter to read, Crymmy. Let's see China's travelling up the ladder to Lordy's interesting fetish with pineapples and whips was the best part to read.
Well China could say that he was going to be testing people out to appease Lordy's sadistic activities, but he needed to do it before he gave anyone to Lordy.
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 10:17 pm Post subject: |
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Just bribe them. With Smee's money. And, if he has none, with Smee's internal organs.
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Crymzon
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| Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 4:53 am Post subject: |
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| Mmm Smee's internal dangly bits .... thanks a lot for that image Black It was one that I never EVER wanted.
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Alegria
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| Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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*Gagging noises*
have Phang say that she's desperately in love with Lordy. It may not work, it may get them all killed, but it would be funny.
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 12:00 pm Post subject: |
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I still like my internal organs.We could get Key (a beggar, naturally) to produce more when Lordy has eaten Smee's. Or, you know, we could not.
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Starwalker
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| Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 9:28 am Post subject: |
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China outrageously lies then lies some more.
If your going to go down as a black sheep, ya may as well act like on.
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elektra
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| Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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Hi folks I'm new here and it's all down to Crymzon and an invisable cuppa...... he's so good at putting off putting the kettle on, while showing me his latest work he has hooked me on the site.......
Anywho, as China is obviously a bit of a pinnochio here, he should use it to his advantage. While he is the defector surely to deflect the attention away from him he could use his hostage. He could claim that while her broadcasts had been loyal to maudib she was found orchastrating a coup! and as the good and loyal servants of Maudib he and his commerades wanted to teach her a lesson in loyalty and where just heading somewhere (not figured where) to 'persuade' her tow the political line and teach some new ways of using pineapple because by the time they've finished she'll be licking his feet to be accepted!...........
we all know he has the gift of the gab!!!
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Chinaren
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elektra
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| Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:14 am Post subject: |
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| You know China thats so simple it might just work. Its not like they seem to be the most intelligent of people. Having said that since when has anyone in power been overly smart............... Can we ma Maudib choke on a pineapple chunk instead of a preztal...............lol
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 7:49 am Post subject: |
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| Muaddib Muaddib Muaddib. Notice the 'u' coming before the 'a'.
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 8:08 am Post subject: |
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Argggh! It's an obsessive comunist! Take cover, take cover!
*hides behind sofa*
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Starwalker
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| Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:44 am Post subject: |
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| Chinaren, if any of you guys own a bar, pineapple chucks could be used in the drinks.
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elektra
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| Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 2:51 am Post subject: |
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ok get the message
MUADDIB is that better sir
I'm sorry to have caused offence
lol (hangs head in shame)
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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Tell the Lord of the Night Watch that your amature sadists and that you picked the reporter because she was the only one persuing you to the ends of the earth. Then ask him to polietly move before I stop struggling because that would ruin the fun.
Then you better explain to me that by playing along you'll not only save my skin but give me the juciest story ever for being a good ally.
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elektra
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| Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:07 am Post subject: |
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| So that would be somewhere in between bribarby and blackmail.....................cant wait for crymo to get writing again ........ the suspence bro, its killing me............................lol maybe not quite killing me but boy get your finger working
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:24 am Post subject: |
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I reaaaly want the internal organs to win.
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elektra
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| Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:28 am Post subject: |
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cant wait to see crymo writing gore and guts in his comic mode
gonna be nasty ...................side spiltin infact............... oh more gore..... excuse the pun
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:00 am Post subject: |
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Just persuade him to put up the poll then internal organs WILL overthrow the commies.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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Ooh we have a captive reporter. A sledge hammer lovin feller. Beat up guards. And of course the canary comandos.
Sounds like we need to quickly convince the guards we found who beat them up and promise to help them avoid Lordy's 'punishment'. The Canary comandos can cover China's esacpe when the battle starts.
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elektra
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 2:14 pm Post subject: Roll out the red carpet............ ;) |
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I have just poked Crymzon in the ribs and he assures me he will be onto the forum by the weekend!!!!
(Shall we celebrate now or later?)
LOL
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:03 am Post subject: |
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I really want the poll to come up cause I really wanna see how he copes with internal organs idea.
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